#certainly a character who's not entirely done cooking lol

[outeremissary]

🍉🍪🍕 for Ismene?

Thanks for the asks, Ash! This took longer than expected because after drafting the answers I went to fact check some lore and um. Spent over an hour reading about libraries. Whoops!!

[prompt list]

🍉: Does your OC have a particular piece of jewellery that they always wear or refuse to part with?

Ismene has a black velvet choker she wears almost constantly (an item which is fortunately easy to keep secure on the road and in fights). The choker was a gift from Imoen from not long after Imoen was first brought to Candlekeep, and one with some backstory to it. Around that time Candlekeep had hosted a noblewoman for several weeks who was a dedicated lover of scholarly pursuits bursting with admiration for the monks of Candlekeep. It had been her dream to visit the great library and learn from it, and she treated the hallowed library and its keepers with nothing but the utmost reverence. For the other residents of Candlekeep, however, she seemed to have nothing but contempt- even for the little elf girl who helped to mind the reading rooms and who carefully shelved the books for the librarians between visits. Ismene became a frequent target of the woman's ire. The woman complained frequently of her presence, berated her for her presumed background, treated her as a servant, and harshly criticized the work she did. After a day where Ismene attempted several times to correct the woman for violating the rules of a reading room, the woman went to one of the Great Readers and went on at length about the girl's insolent behavior, accusing her of singling the woman out for harassment and attempting to steal from the woman's bag.

Imoen saw Ismene crying after being scolded over the accusations, and the morning after the woman suddenly found herself with real problems on her hands. Somehow a bottle of ink had cracked in her bag, leaking all over her fine clothes and ruining pages of her careful notes. For the rest of her visit she seemed tormented by an endless string of accidents. Things broke or went missing, her food burned, the floors outside her room were always just slick enough with half done mopping for her to slip... Although she went to Winthrop more than once over these incidents, her complaints fell on deaf ears after weeks of tormenting the inn's staff with false claims. On the last day of her stay, the woman reported frantically that a favorite choker, one which she had worn frequently during her time at Candlekeep, had gone missing. Although she turned half of Candlekeep upside down searching for it, she never managed to find it, and she left the library fortress disconsolate over its loss. That night Imoen presented it to Ismene as a gift. The girls have been fast friends ever since (though they did both get in trouble over the clearly stolen item).

🍪: What is something that's sentimental to your OC?

Any of the many things that remind her of Candlekeep- she misses her home dearly, and has not been happy to leave. The smell of books, the gentle warmth of the afternoon sun in a comfortable seat by a window, the droning sound of chant... Any of it can take her back for just the briefest moment. Maybe the most potent, but thankfully the least bittersweet, moments of sentiment come from time spent with Imoen talking and braiding hair as if they were girls again. Ismene isn't one to voice gratitude, but she's incredibly thankful for Imoen's companionship.

🍕: How does an OC spend a lazy day?

Ismene spends huge portions of unoccupied days sleeping. She can easily sleep for more than twelve hours when not interrupted, and she doesn't mind the time lost. She loathes having to wake before dawn to maximize daylight while traveling; even though elves have no real need for sleep she always sleeps on rest days in towns like she's catching up from weeks of deprivation. Of course, in her eyes her sleep is far more valuable than the sleep normal people experience because of the visions she receives in her dreams.

Aside from sleeping, she enjoys reading and will spend her waking hours squirreled away in a library given the chance- in the small towns of the Sword Coast these are often collections belonging to temples or wealthy private individuals, and identifying who locally has a worthwhile collection to attempt to access is one of her priorities when arriving somewhere new. Often there's little truly new and worthwhile in these collections relative to Candlekeep, but occasionally she's pleasantly surprised. Although on other occasions she is prematurely escorted out of the library after revealing to unhappy owners expensive forgeries or offering unsolicited critique of the gaps in their collections...

I wish I could say she had other things she spent time on as a hobby, but unfortunately Ismene is the number one nerd who never goes outside unless dragged and it really is mostly that.

[let-it-rip-bear]

Honestly felt like that whole bit was a bad look for Sydney and Marcus. I mean yeah, Carmy messed up too, but I would describe his typical mental state as a dumpster fire so it was kinda like. Well. Yeah. But the whole home kitchen scene with Marcus and Sydney left me with a bit of a bad taste for two characters that I liked otherwise. And of course, characters are never going to be flawless humans who only do right, but. You knew throughout that entire scene that they were never going to apologize to Carmy, that they didn’t think they’d done anything wrong, and so it came off kinda holier than thou or entitled. And them calling Carmy a piece of shit bothered me, though that might be more personal for me. Like I felt like everyone in the kitchen was really starting to bond, that was one of the main plot threads, and then that scene happened and it all kinda felt like a lie. He’s a good cook but he’s a piece of shit. He’s a good cook but we don’t actually like or respect him. I don’t know, it made me sad.

Sorry for dumping this all on you!

Do NOT apologize, I'm hyperfixated pretty intensely on the Bear so talking about it is like straight serotonin :] Also please keep in mind that I love Carmy sooo much and I'm biased in his favor, but I try not to let it run rampant lol

It's definitely upsetting! It makes me think about how Carmy bases his self-worth and self-image on being a talented cook. It seems like he feels that cooking is his only redeeming value.

I really feel like nobody knows exactly how mentally ill he's been in the past few years or what he's struggled with. No one knows how abusive NYChef was, he doesn't tell anyone when he's having panic attacks, no one knows how terribly he's been sleeping. He doesn't talk about it and no one asks. Sugar does ask and she even knows to some extent, but the way she treats him is somewhere between comforting, nitpicking, and dismissive because she continually blames The Beef for all of his problems (which according to Carmy is just like their mother, which can't be good for him) or acts like he's just being stubborn trying to safe The Beef. To her, most of his problems could be solved if only he stopped trying to fix it. That's why he was so upset by her reply when he said he'd fix The Beef: "No one's asking you to." Well, no one had to ask him. He wants to fix it because it's important to him. But I digress.

He's got so much shit to deal with and things just keep getting worse. He's so clearly at the end of his rope by "Braciole" that, at that point, he's dissociating, he's not coping, he literally wants to burn the restaurant down. And it seems like no one wants to address it.

It's not that they don't care. But Carmy is so self-contained, so unable to describe how he's feeling; he holds himself together through pure willpower and runs away whenever he can't hide his pain. He lashes out instead of breaking down. He doesn't know how to ask for help and nobody can quite read him well enough to know when he needs it. And honestly, even if it's clear that he's spiraling, it seems like everyone has the same approach as Richie in "Brigade".

RICHIE: What's up? You blow a fuse or something? CARMY: No, I just, uh, felt like Michael was alive for a second. RICHIE: No, thanks.

He then immediately leaves the room, which he has a right to do. He's not in a good place to help Carmy so it would probably only hurt them both if he tried. But as a result, Carmy is left alone with his oncoming panic attack, and no justification can change that.

No one really knows the scope of his trauma. And they act accordingly, which is not only fair, but also healthy. And yet, it also sucks, yknow? It's got benefits and downsides. No one treats Carmy like shit. But Carmy still suffers, because he's in a bad place. So far, no one in his life is capable or willing to be there for him. Even Sugar has her own grief and life to deal with and her approach is certainly flawed.

All of this is to say that I don't think anyone has a real right to perceive Carmy or his actions in such bad faith.

You are an excellent chef. You are also a piece of shit.

This man is half losing his mind from grief, stress, trauma, anxiety, and self-hatred. Does that not at least explain his actions? I think it does. It's not an excuse, but it's certainly enough to change the context. You can't just sweep it all aside and act like Carmy's just lashing out for no reason. If he was doing that, then you could call him a man-child. But he's seriously suffering, and people in pain tend to lash out. That doesn't make him a POS. It makes him human.

This is probably the most biased thing I'll say: I think that most people expect him to rein in his suffering and punish him should it ever bleed out and affect others. I don't expect them to baby him, but I think he could use some gentleness. I think that it wouldn't hurt if more people took into account that Carmy is hanging on by a thread, one that was very close to snapping in "Review" and "Braciole".

I don't know. I'm not sure if this is entirely coherent. It's probably also way longer than you expected lmao?? I've got a lot of feelings about it...clearly :o

[taterturnspages]

THE AMERICAN ROOMMATE EXPERIMENT BOOK REVIEW

Genre(s): Fiction, Contemporary Romance

Kinda sorta a spoiler-free review, but not really since this is a romance book lol. It’s a requirement for romance novels to have an HEA or at least an HFN (happy for now) ending.

STAR RATING: 2.5/5

SPICE RATING: 2/5

SYNOPSIS:

Rosie Graham has a problem. A few, actually. She just quit her well-paid job to focus on her secret career as a romance writer, only to enter a creative slump. Then, the ceiling of her New York apartment literally crumbles on her. She heads to her best friend Lina’s apartment, not knowing that Lina has already lent the studio to her cousin Lucas, who Rosie has been stalking—for lack of a better word—on Instagram. To Rosie’s surprise, Lucas offers to let her stay with him, at least until she can find some affordable temporary housing.

Soon, Rosie discovers that Lucas is intent on coming to her rescue like a Spanish knight in shining armor. Only this one strolls around the place in a towel, has a distracting grin, an irresistible accent, and comes with a set of mad cooking skills. And when Lucas learns of Rosie’s writers block, he proposes an outrageous idea to bring back her literary muse and meet her deadline: he’ll take her on a series of experimental dates meant to jump-start her romantic inspiration. Rosie has nothing to lose. Her silly online crush is totally under control—but Lucas’s stay in New York has an expiration date, and six weeks may not be enough time for either her or her deadline.

READ THIS IF YOU:

Enjoy forced proximity romance books

Like the “broken boy” trope

Want to prolong The Spanish Love Deception universe

Don’t mind a little cringe (I’ll explain in a minute, lol)

CHARACTERS:

Rosie Graham:

A lot of reviews of this book call Rosie annoying and insufferable. She came from a life of childhood trauma where she was forced to grow up way too soon, and now, in her adult life she is very unsure of herself and tends to come off insecure. She has to be in control of every situation and she has a plan for everything, and she is always the friend that people come to, but rarely does she ever require help for herself. She is a chronic overthinker and gets anxiety even by thinking of situations that could cause her anxiety.

I can see why someone would dislike her, especially if they don’t share any of the same qualities as Rosie. I can see why she comes off as annoying and unsure of herself to some people. For me though, I felt a connection with Rosie because we share a lot of the same qualities. The constant overthinking, being anxious about anything and everything, and feeling like you have to have everything under control. I feel like I liked Rosie more than the average consensus based on reviews of this book, but I still didn’t really like her enough to say that I actually liked her character throughout the entire book. Allow me to share with the class, yeah?

Rosie does tend to come off as manipulative. For example, Rosie says to Lucas: “I just wish you wanted me as much as I wanted you.” during a scene that had nothing to do with how much either of them wanted each other, but rather what HAD to be done. I didn’t like how she cornered Lucas here and it felt really unfair to him.

Rosie had little to no self-respect, either. There were multiple occasions that she had to beg, yes beg, Lucas to even so much as look at her. This felt really icky to me, even if the author meant this as a way to show that Lucas has boundaries and is respectful of boundaries, but I personally didn’t take it that way. I took it as Rosie begging Lucas to do things that would be considered the absolute bare minimum to someone Lucas claims that he cares about. That is certainly not the message I want to hear from the heroine of a romance novel because it enforces that begging for the bare minimum is okay, when it really isn’t okay at all.

And the cherry on top of it all is that Rosie was lying to everyone in her life that she claimed to love and care about (her father, her brother, and her best friend). Rosie would constantly self-deprecate about how she was lying to those she loved and how it made her feel like a bad person, yet she would continue to lie EVEN WHEN she was presented with multiple opportunities to tell the truth. It’s hard to feel sorry for someone when they willingly choose to pass up several opportunities for literally no apparent reason at all. The worst part about Rosie’s lying is that yes, she lied to everyone that she claimed meant so much to her, yet she spilled the truth to a complete stranger (Lucas) within the first 24 hours of meeting him. It seemed a little off-putting to me and I didn’t like it at all. The irony of Rosie’s lying problem is that her brother, Olly, lied to her and Rosie let it destroy her mood when she suspected Olly was hiding something from her. The pot and the kettle, babes.

Lucas Martín:

Alright so, Lucas. If you thought Rosie’s character analysis was harsh, then buckle your seatbelts kids.

I would first like to say that Lucas does have a fair amount of redeemable qualities. He’s sensitive, thoughtful, and he can cook. Lucas too has a troubled past that haunts his present-day life and he’s very open about how he is navigating his future in a way that is best for him. But sadly, not all glitter is gold. 

For starters, let me just mention that it is admitted by Lucas himself and then later confirmed by Lina (his cousin) that Lucas has never been in a relationship, but he’s had several women come in and out of his life. Lucas says, and I quote directly from his dialogue, that “a woman has never broken my heart”. Is there anything inherently wrong about this? Not necessarily, but if a man is 30 something years old and has never had a strong emotional connection with a woman, how am I supposed to interpret that? Because the author never really explained why Lucas has never had any sort of emotional connection with a woman. Am I supposed to assume that he’s been waiting for his soulmate for his entire life and that’s why he’s never had a commitment? Or am I supposed to assume that he’s just that typical douchebag player type that dumps women from his life after he gets what he wants from them? The reason why this was a problem for me with Lucas’ character is because we just don’t know what the reason is.

Based off of Lucas’ other character traits, I’m inclined to believe that he’s just a flirt and gets women to fall for him so he can get what he wants. Lucas and Rosie clicked almost instantly, to the point that this book pushed the envelope of the insta-love trope. The reason why they clicked so hard and so fast is because Lucas just used his magical flirtatious charm, and I’m led to assume that this is not coincidentally the first time Lucas has pulled that type of scheme. So, I’m going to go with an assumption that I have facts to back up that Lucas historically just uses his charm to his advantage to get women to flock at his feet, and then he can do what he needs to do, and then gets rid of them. Major red flag and certainly not the man I want as the hero of a romance book.

With that being said, that’s really the only major character flaw of Lucas aside from the fact that he is just kind of cringe. The things he says to Rosie are extremely cliché and so unoriginal (another reason to believe that he’s a player and just cycles through his rolodex of compliments that could apply to any girl). Like, “did I wake up in heaven?” when he sees Rosie after he wakes up (not even 12 hours after they met for the first time……).

Lastly, Lucas is the most insecure man I have ever seen in a romance book. He’s constantly saying things like “Rosie deserves so much better” and self-deprecating about himself. Remember ladies, if a man tells you that you deserve better, listen to him and don’t give him a chance to prove himself to be correct. Lucas saying that Rosie deserves better just goes to show that he has no sort of willpower to be the man that she needs, so clearly he doesn’t want her that bad.

PRAISES, CRITIQUES, AND MY THOUGHTS:

I know my character analyses were harsh, but hear me out: this book didn’t totally suck. There were some cute little moments between Lucas and Rosie. I don’t want to spoil anything if you do plan to read this, but beware that the cute moments are pretty few and far between. Personally, I didn’t really buy that Rosie and Lucas had genuine chemistry, so maybe that’s why I feel the way I do.

As for the rest of the issues that I had with this book, there is something so apparently wrong about Lina describing Lucas, her own cousin, as having a “panty dropping smile”. Like, I’m sorry...what??? Who talks about their cousin this way?? I shouldn’t have to expand on that any further.

Also, the plot follows Rosie’s journey as a romance writer. Let me lay the groundwork of that for you a little so you can understand what I’m about to say. Rosie wrote her first romance novel and it became a HUGE hit and gained a ton of traction. So much so that Rosie signed with a publisher and the publisher requested a second book from her and gave her a deadline for it. Rosie really struggled to write this book because she had writer’s block and lacked inspiration. Rosie’s second book was set to follow the best friend of the main character in the first book and her second book was giving the best friend the love story they deserved. Does that ring a bell for you? No? Okay, allow me to bridge the gap. The Spanish Love Deception is in the same book universe as The American Roommate Experiment. The Spanish Love Deception followed Lina. Rosie is Lina’s best friend. The American Roommate Experiment (the second book in the universe) follows Rosie and gives her the love story she deserves.

Reading this plot line about Rosie struggling with her second book felt like a testimony straight from the author about her own struggles writing The American Roommate Experiment. And I don’t mean this rudely, but I could certainly tell that this book was a struggle for her to write. I do understand that author’s writing about their own struggles can be an outlet for them to air their grievances. But this seemed very low effort for Elena Armas and I was really disappointed because she has such amazing writing talent and I really enjoyed The Spanish Love Deception. I know she’s capable of more and reading The American Roommate Experiment felt very cut and dry.

I really can’t recommend this book and it pains me to say that because The Spanish Love Deception was such a hit for me. But if you insist on reading it, I hope you had a better experience than I did.  

[mostlycompetentwriter]

Wow, he’s hot

“Pairing: Fem!Reader x Seo Changbin (SKZ)

Word Count: 8K

Genre: Neighbors to Lovers? Lol

Warnings: Aged up characters (Changbin is ten years older than the reader), explicit sexual content, language, drinking

Summary: You were a fresh college graduate, returning home for the summer before starting a bright, shiny new position in the city, but you certainly weren’t expecting to fall hard for your neighbor. 

A/N: I hope at least one person gets my reference/pun at the end....But seriously? Oh, what have I done...

Your roommate was hungover again, dressed to the nines in a purple bathrobe and pink fluffy slippers as she attempted to move huge boxes of random shit between her bedroom and the foyer of your shared apartment. 

It was priceless entertainment, at least in your opinion, especially after witnessing your roommate in rare form the previous night dancing from one frat boy to the next, draining entire bottles of alcohol like she needed the liquid encouragement. 

From what you had observed, she was determined to embarrass you at all costs, and under normal circumstances, you could’ve avoided her rather inappropriate behavior in exchange for your regular hook-up, Joshua. But he decided to remain mysteriously absent for the entire evening, which meant that you had been stuck watching over your roommate, hoping that she wouldn’t get you kicked out again....

“I know what you’re thinking, Y/N,” Laura huffed, pausing next to the counter-top where you sat. “What did you expect? It was my last night of freedom before going back home.”

“Yeah,” you snorted. “It was mine too, but I wasn’t plastered face-down in the shower last night.”

“Whatever,” Laura grimaced. “Did you sign off on the lease yet?”

“I did it earlier,” you replied. 

“Our bitchy landlord’s been complaining all week,” Laura said. “I’m tired of her late-night phone calls, plus my mom’s been really annoying about the move.”

“Oh?” you questioned. “When is she coming?”

“In like an hour,” Laura huffed. “Why do you think I’m busting my ass to pack everything?”

“I don’t know,” you said. “Maybe you needed a distraction from thinking about puking in the bushes behind the frat house last night.”

“Oh, shut up about that!” Laura hissed, slapping your arm as you kept laughing. “Isn’t you brother coming tomorrow?”

“Ugh, yeah,” you groaned. “He said he has to come super early because of work, but my ass doesn’t start functioning until at least 8:00.”

“Well, at least tell Chan ‘hi’ for me,” Laura said, giggling like a love-struck teenager because she had been infatuated with your older brother for years.

“If I remember to tell him,” you grumbled, stretching out your arms and deciding that it might be useful for you to start packing as well, especially since the most you would be able to accomplish tomorrow morning at the ass crack of dawn is following Chan around the apartment in a zombie-like state as the two of you loaded your belongings into his car.

“Don’t forget that I’m coming to visit next week,” Laura said, and you perked up a little at the idea of having your friend come around, especially since the two of you had just graduated together and those long days and nights of being glued together at the hip were coming to a bittersweet end.

“Sounds good,” you agreed, checking your phone one last time to see a weird gif from Chan (as you had come to expect from him) before joining your roommate in packing up the remainder of your former college life.

Chan had always been prompt when it came to his familial obligations, and the two of you spent two hours loading all of your stuff into his car before starting the long drive to your old childhood home. A place that you hadn’t ventured to since leaving four years ago to start undergraduate school.

“Looks the same,” you remarked, sunglasses perched low on your nose as you allowed the window to roll down to take in some fresh air.

“What did you expect?” Chan asked, humming away to whatever shitty metal song he had playing over the radio.

In a totally random and last-minute decision, you had decided that for the next three summer months while you were stuck in an in-between phase, you were returning home for a while before you were set to move into a new apartment in the city close to where you would be working full-time. It seemed logical to save money, and there was a small part of you that did miss your family and old friends. 

Of course, despite Chan’s dismissal of your earlier nonchalant comment about the unchanging surroundings of your hometown, you were startled when you realized that the old house next door, which used to be occupied by an elderly couple until they moved away during your senior year of high school, was missing it’s familiar ‘for sale’ sign in the front yard, and there was a black Mustang in the driveway.

“Home sweet home,” Chan sighed when he stopped in the carport attached to your former two-story staccato, opening the door with a grumble. 

You frowned, following him around to the back of his car. “Someone bought the house next door?” you asked, dragging your eyes away from the sleek, shiny sports car to look at your brother.

Chan grunted as he heaved your suitcase from the trunk. “Yeah, they moved in last month. I think the owner is a lawyer and he lives there with his daughter.”

“Huh,” you remarked. “That house has been vacant for years.”

Chan shrugged. “Yeah, well, the guy who lives there now is really nice. Mom and dad babysit for him a lot when he’s working.”

“Great,” I muttered. “They’ll rope me into helping.”

“S’ not so bad,” Chan said, growling in frustration when your suitcase fell over to the side with an unpleasant crash. “Can you help or what?”

You laughed at your brother’s outrage, reaching back to pull your hair into a messy bun. 

Meanwhile, you noticed the front door of your house opening from the corner of your eye, smiling when your mother shrieked and rushed down the sidewalk to meet you halfway in a long-winded embrace. “Y/N!! I’m so glad to see you.”

“You’re crushing me,” you heaved through constricted lungs, accepting your mother’s open arms even if it was a little over-eager.

“Oh! I’m sorry, dear,” she said, pulling back just enough to allow oxygen to circulate once again, but not enough to pull you away from her mushy kisses. “You look so healthy and beautiful!”

“Yeah, thanks mom,” you said, slowly beginning the untangling process of removing her arms from around you while Chan struggled in the background to carry your suitcase up the front steps. “I should help.”

“Of course!” your mom agreed, but a distant tug of curiosity had you turning back to look at the house next door once again.

“Hey? Do you know anything about the new neighbor?”

“You mean Changbin? He’s wonderful, darling. So polite, and his daughter is so funny.”

You wrinkled your nose, never having been a huge fan of kids. “Chan said you babysit for him sometimes.”

“It’s always nice to help someone out,” your mother tsked, and you could recognize her patronizing tone from anywhere. “Such a shame that he divorced his wife. Heard it was kinda nasty.”

“It’s not any of our business,” you reminded her.

“Oh, I didn’t say it was!” your mother sighed. “He doesn’t talk about it much.”

“Jeez, how much do you guys talk?”

Because from the sound of it, Changbin had to be as old as your mom to make this much of an impression. You grinned as you briefly imagined the two of them on the front porch drinking tea together and gossiping about the rest of the neighborhood.

“He’s far more friendly than Mrs. Jones was,” your mother remarked. “I think you’d like him, Y/N.”

“I don’t know about that...”

“Well, you’ll get the chance to meet him tonight,” your mother said, smile full and wide. “I’ve invited him over for dinner!”

Oh, great.

“Can’t wait,” you forced out between clenched teeth, rolling your eyes when your mom clapped her hands together before grabbing your hand to drag you inside, feeling only a distant shiver roll across your spine as you walked onto the porch as if someone was looking at you from afar....

Your mother was hardly the type to run out of conversation, and you eventually were forced to leave her downstairs to argue with Chan over some menial thing that he forgot to do for tonight’s big dinner while you trudged upstairs to find some peace.

Unsurprisingly, your childhood bedroom remained untouched, and you circled around the perimeter, studying old pictures of yourself playing sports and hanging out with friends. Fingers dusting over your collection of old trophies and high-school yearbooks that recalled long-ago days of feeling carefree - with the future wide-open in front of you for the taking.

But you were well off in the present, allowing yourself to indulge in the nostalgia of looking through old diaries and journals before your mother’s voice called you downstairs for dinner later that evening. “Coming!” you called back, pausing next to your mirror to check your reflection.

The smell of your mother’s cooking had your stomach rumbling from the hunger of only stopping once on the way home to eat cheap fast-food with Chan, and you forced yourself to walk like a normal person even though every instinct was screaming at you to find the source of that delicious odor.

You were nearly salivating at the idea of your mother’s homemade cooking, and your hand caught the rail of the bannister to turn the final corner, but the sounds of voices from below forced you to pause at the top of the stairs, eyes growing wide as you took in the sight of the unfamiliar man standing in your foyer, talking to your mother like they had known each other for years. “Oh, Y/N,” your mother said, and you shivered when the man turned to look at you. “Come meet our neighbor, Changbin. I think you’ll really like him.”

You held back a snort at the ironic comment because it only took you a few seconds to come to the conclusion that Changbin epitomized the phrase “just my type.”

He was on the shorter side, built like he had literally spent his entire life working out, arms bulging beneath his t-shirt and chest straining the material tight to his front. So much so that you could practically see his nipples through the fabric. 

His hair was jet-black, ruffled from the wind outside, and his eyes were equally as dark, lips contorted into a self-satisfied smirk that you found exceedingly hot.

“Hi,” you mustered without much thought, nearly tripping over your own two feet on the way down the stairs.

“This is my daughter, Y/N,” your mother said, inviting you closer so that you were standing directly in front of Changbin.

“Nice to meet you,” he said in a deep voice that was slightly rough around the edges.

“Y/N just graduate from college,” your mother gushed. “We’re so excited to have her back.”

“I’m home for the summer,” you explained, shivering at the dark look in Changbin’s gaze. “I’m starting an internship in the Fall.”

“Y/N will be working in publishing,” your mother explained, jumping in while you and Changbin continued to stare each other down - something intense and provocative.

“Really?” Changbin asked, eyes making a leisurely stroll of looking you up and in down in a way that had you feeling extremely self-conscious. 

“Oh! Give me one second to check something in the kitchen,” your mother said, excusing herself with a smile before leaving the two of you alone in the foyer.

You inwardly cursed your mother for leaving you both in an awkward silence. Say something!! You screamed to yourself.

“So,” you started, clearing your throat and forcing yourself to stop swaying back and forth. “Chan told me you practice law.”

“Yeah,” Changbin agreed, and you swooned at his crooked smile. “It doesn’t sound as interesting as your work.”

“I don’t know about that,” you countered politely, but Changbin was unrelenting.

“You looked surprised to see me earlier,” he remarked.

You swallowed hard. “Oh, well when Chan mentioned a neighbor with a kid, I just wasn’t expecting someone so....”

“Yes?” Changbin prodded, encouraging you to continue.

Someone so fucking hot, you thought to yourself, someone who was literally made inside my best fantasies, but those explicit thoughts belonged exclusively inside your head. “Young,” you eventually finished, and Changbin seemed disappointed for some reason.

“I’m 32,” he said, and your eyes widened perceptibly, realizing that he was ten years older than you.

“I would’ve never guessed,” you said. “I mean, not that it’s a bad thing-”

“It’s alright,” Changbin interrupted, and you were relieved to hear him chuckle. “I know what you mean.”

“I’m sorry,” you said. “I can be a little awkward.”

“No,” he shook his head, coming to stand a little closer. “I think it’s nice.”

Oh? What was that supposed to mean?

“I used to have a boyfriend who looked a lot like you,” you went on, freezing when you comprehended what you had just blathered without thinking.

But Changbin didn’t seem bothered at all. “I bet he wasn’t as old as me.”

“He was my age,” you said. “But I kinda like older men...”

Fuck. Did those words really just come out of your mouth?!

“Y/N,” Changbin said, and you trembled at the huskiness of his tone. “You should be more careful.” He leaned in then as if trying to keep whatever he was about to say a secret for just the two of you. “I can be a very dangerous man.”

“O-oh,” you stuttered, finding yourself two seconds away from literally melting at his feet when your mother suddenly re-entered the foyer with a dusting of flour across her chin. 

“Dinner’s ready!” she announced, and you were fleeing behind her without a second thought, escaping the intoxicating hold of Changbin’s presence before you did something you might regret.

For whatever reason, you found yourself sitting next to Changbin in the dining room for dinner that night. 

“I made chicken,” your mother said, gesturing to each dish sitting in a line down the center of the table as she explained tonight’s menu. But you were barely cognizant of what your mother was saying because the close proximity to Changbin was doing very strange things to your head.

“So, Y/N,” your father started when everyone had been served. “I hope your brother was helpful with the move.”

Chan rolled his eyes, but you grinned at your father’s words. “Yeah, I was a little out of it though because of the time.”

“Like I said,” Chan huffed. “I couldn’t get there any later.”

“Let the bickering commence,” your mother said. “Changbin, you wouldn’t believe the fights these two had when they were young.”

“I can only imagine,” Changbin said, and you were wondering how someone could be even more attractive by the sound of their voice alone.

“Do you still need us to babysit for you tomorrow night?” your mother asked. “We would be more than accommodating.”

“That would be great,” Changbin said. “I’ve got a late conference call.”

“It’s no problem,” your mother continued. “Your daughter is just the loveliest.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that,” Changbin replied.

“Y/N,” your mother said, catching you with a mouthful of chicken. “Changbin’s daughter is such a peach.”

You quickly forced down the food in your mouth when you felt Changbin’s gaze rest on you. “Oh? How hold is she, Mr. Seo?”

“She’s six,” Changbin said, and he shifted in his chair, causing your knees to brush together in a move that you knew wasn’t intentional, even if it didn’t stop your legs from wrapping together. “And you don’t have to be so formal with me, Y/N. Only my clients call me Mr. Seo.”

“O-oh,” you exhaled, reacting to the brief contact under the table, hoping that nobody else was noticing your strange behavior.

“Maybe Y/N could help watch Lucy when you’re gone,” your mother suggested, always the first to rope you into these things.

“Sure,” you agreed, even though the idea of pulling babysitting duty was less than appealing, and you could hear Chan snickering from across the table. He knew perfectly well your attitude when it came to kids. 

“I think Lucy would like that,” Changbin agreed, and you started to nod along until you felt Changbin’s hand move to your thigh.

Just that single move had your entire form frozen in place. 

While your mother continued talking about whatever subject caught her attention, you were left wondering how you should react to the very obvious posturing of Changbin’s hand moving decidedly against your bare skin.

“I’ll probably head back into town tomorrow morning,” Chan said. “I wasn’t able to get much work done.”

You knew it was a playful jab at you, but at that moment you were incapable of coherent speech.

“How is work, Channie?” your mother asked, just as ignorant as the rest of them to the situation unfolding beneath her table. “Anything interesting?”

“Not really,” Chan replied, and you nearly choked on the food you were swallowing when you felt Changbin squeezing your thigh. 

“Try to chew it first, Y/N,” your father chuckled, and you forced a smile which you hoped wasn’t as strained as it felt.

“What about you, Changbin?” your mother politely queried. “Anything interesting happening lately?”

“Maybe,” he said with a tone that was far too knowing.

“Hmmm?” your mother smiled. “You aren’t seeing anyone, are you?”

You knew the question was invasive, but Changbin handled it in stride. “I think it depends.”

“Sounds scandalous,” your mother joked, and you couldn’t have possibly been imagining it, feeling his fingers reach so high under the opening of your shorts that his fingertips touched the outline of your panties. 

You reached down to cover his hand with your own, bringing awareness to the fact that you weren’t ignoring what was happening, and he had every opportunity to pull back.

But he didn’t. In fact, Changbin’s light, playful touches only continued, and you were left reeling for what the intention could possibly mean.

Early the next morning, you were supposed to be cleaning the pool as a favor to your mother, but how could you be blamed for sneaking peaks at your neighbor working out in his backyard? 

“Holy shit,” you cursed under your breath, failing to do a very good job of pretending to be occupied with your current task while ogling the man across the lawn who was in the middle of another round of push-ups, biceps flexing while the rest of his body practically glowed under the sun. 

You knew it wasn’t a crime to permit the occasional glance, but your hardcore staring could certainly be qualified as spying at this point (especially in the direction of a lawyer) - making it blatantly obvious that you were very appreciative of the male form at the peak of performance.

Was Changbin seriously 32? And a father?

The questions boggled your mind, and in your distracted state, you clearly forgot to keep a firm hold on the handle of the pool’s leaf skimmer, huffing in annoyance when it splashed beneath the water.

It was enough to attract Changbin’s attention, and you were sure that your face was just as red as the towel draped over the back of your mother’s patio furniture when he stood to his full height before walking in your direction.

“Were you watching me?” Changbin asked, sauntering over to you with black mesh shorts hanging tantalizingly low on his hips, shirt foregone in exchange for a delightful sheen of sweat coating the skin of his thick upper torso in dripping rivulets. 

“Uh...” you trailed off anxiously, realizing that Changbin wouldn’t be stupid enough to fall for your half-assed excuses, especially after what had happened between the two of you last night. 

“You’re not planning on lying to me, Y/N?” he asked, raising one eyebrow in question.

“N-no, Mr. Seo,” you said, shaking your head quickly, barely keeping a firm grasp of your bearings as he abruptly leaned in closer, musk hanging heavy in the air between the two of you. 

“I told you not to call me that,” he said, lips lingering far too close to your ear for a simple neighborly exchange, and you could feel the body heat emanating from him in waves, holding you completely hostage as you briefly entertained the idea of falling to your knees right then and there. 

“What should I call you?” you asked instead, fisting your shirt between your hands because you were desperate for something to ground you in that moment. 

You could practically feel his smirk, holding in a gasp when his hand settled at the low dip in your spine, fitting into the space there as he pulled you tight against his front. “You can always call me daddy instead.”

Your heart skipped several beats at the scandalous words. Either that or you had just entered cardiac arrest.

But before you could muster a response, you found yourself leaping out of Changbin’s hold when the backdoor opened, and your mother was screaming out your name while waving like a maniac. “Oh!” she said when she realized that you weren’t alone. “I didn’t mean to interrupt!”

“We were just talking,” you quickly inserted, glancing at Changbin from the corner of your eye to see him smirking. 

For a while, the very strange flirtation between you and Changbin simmered down, and you tried your best to avoid him when you could, even if he made that very hard to do since he insisted on doing his morning workouts outside in direct line of your bedroom.

It was during the following week that you brought the divine glory of Changbin to your friend, Laura’s, attention, ushering her into your house when she parked on the side of street. “What the hell, Y/N?” she complained when you started practically dragging her up the stairs. “I’ve been driving for hours.”

“Oh, hush,” you said. “You’ll thank me later.”

“Thank you for what, exactly?” Laura questioned, but your response was to simply push her toward the window, standing side by side as you looked through the blinds.

“My new neighbor.”

“Holy fuck!” Laura gasped when she finally joined you, and you could only nod your agreement as the two of you continued to watch Changbin through two narrow breaks in your blinds, wondering how the image of your sexy neighbor simply mowing his grass could make you so wet. “That man is huge!”

“I think he does it on purpose,” you remarked, feeling your heart palpitate inside your chest when Changbin took a moment to pause his chore, reaching down to remove his shirt and tuck it into the waistband of his shorts.

Laura’s gasp was almost outlandishly laughable. “He’s ripped! Like, Sports Illustrated model worthy.”

“I would buy every last copy of that edition.”

“I’d even go a step further and tape the pictures to my wall.”

You both stopped to look at one another, nodding in your collective agreement. “Not here, though, my mom would freak.”

“Yeah, but how can your mom expect you to just ignore...that!” Laura exclaimed, gesturing wildly to Changbin. 

“She thinks he’s a fucking Saint, but I swear to god, Laura, he’s provoking me on purpose! The other night at dinner? He came over and put. his. hand. on. my. leg,” you said, emphasizing the last line with what probably looked like a comical widening of your eyes. “And he works out every morning in front of my bedroom? What the hell am I supposed to think?”

“No think,” Laura sighed dreamily. “Just enjoy the view.”

“Do you think I’m not?” you snorted. “I’m serious about him doing those things!”

“So what?” Laura grumbled. “Why are you actually worried that your fucking super model neighbor wants to make a few moves on you? I would be honored.”

“I’m not worried,” you huffed. “It just feels like he wants something from me.”

“Well, if it’s a good fuck, then send him all the signals you can, girl.”

“Really?” you muttered. “You know I suck with flirting. That’s why I only hooked up with Joshua at those stupid frat parties. He didn’t care that I was an awkward mess.”

“Well, neither will your neighbor,” Laura said. “Especially if he’s as interested as you say.”

You pursed your lips, considering her comment, but the sudden and unexpected sound of your door opening sent both you and Laura jumping nearly ten feet into the air as you hurried away from the blinds as fast as humanely possible to take up some form of normalcy.

No, mom, of course we weren’t staring at Mr. Seo.

“Girls,” your mother inquired as she walked inside, and you prayed that your mother hadn’t caught the two of you taking sly peaks at Changbin outside, but she seemed completely ignorant. “I have a question for you.”

“Hmmm?” you inquired, innocently enough, trying to act like the position that you had forced yourself into on the bed was totally not uncomfortable.

“Changbin needs someone to watch Lucy tomorrow night, but your father and I already made plans,” she said. “But I told him you would be more than happy to come over and help him out.”

You winced when Laura elbowed you in the side, giving you one of those looks that you knew quite well from countless nights of barhopping as sophomores. “Yeah, I don’t mind.”

“I’m sure you don’t,” Laura snickered, but you payed her no attention as you hurried to close the door behind your mother’s retreating form, breathing a sigh of relief to hear her walk back down the stairs.

In all of your years of existence, never had you questioned the appropriateness of an outfit to wear to someone’s place to babysit.

“Fuck it,” you eventually decided, settling on regular, well-worn jeans and a college t-shirt.

After all, it wasn’t like Changbin was staying for very long. He claimed he had something to do at the office, and you would be all alone inside his house with only his kid for companionship.

Still, after your conversation with Laura from the previous afternoon, you couldn’t help but feel more mindful about how he might look at you, and you forced yourself to wear your most professional smile when you rang the doorbell to his house, counting slowly from one until he opened the door.

“Hi, Y/N,” Changbin said, and you tried not to blatantly check him out; although, you couldn’t help but linger on the tight fit of his shirt across his pecs.

“Hello,” you nearly whispered, cursing your hormones as you followed Changbin inside.

“I actually have something to tell you,” Changbin said, leading you into the living room so that you could sit down while entered the adjoining kitchen.

“Oh?” you queried, as politely as you could, waiting for him to return.

It didn’t take him long, and you found yourself sitting up a little straighter from where you had made yourself comfortable on the couch. “So, I actually found someone else to watch Lucy,” Changbin explained, coming around to land next to you on the couch with two glasses of wine. 

“You did?” you asked, surprised and taken-aback. 

Why were you here then?

As if he could read your thoughts, Changbin smirked. “Thirsty?”

“Sure,” you agreed, taking one of the glasses and bringing the rim up to your lips. “I’m sorry, I just thought you wanted me to watch her.”

“I did,” Changbin said, and he seemed contemplative as he sipped his own drink. “But then I kinda wanted you for something else.”

“Something else?” you repeated because your mind was spinning those simple words in a thousand different directions, and you were only able to settle on one likely outcome when Changbin’s hand dropped to your thigh, reminiscent of your first dinner together from several evenings ago. 

He suddenly moved in closer to you, allowing you to smell the subtle cologne that he was wearing. “You’ve been watching me,” he said, and you shivered, feeling both hot and cold at the same time as you looked at him.

“S-sir?”

“Don’t play coy,” Changbin continued, and you found yourself observing the way his throat bobbed as he drank. “I don’t mind the attention.”

“You don’t?” you replied, a rather useless question considering the circumstances, and Changbin took your glass and sat both alcoholic selections onto the side table.

“Why wouldn’t I like it?” he asked, tracing little nonsensical patterns on the covered part of your thigh. “You’re a very beautiful girl.”

What. The. Hell?!!

“Mr. Seo, I don’t think-”

“Y/N,” Changbin interrupted, and you were so frazzled and disjointed by the sharp grip he took on your chin, forcing eye-contact that was so intimate, you could feel yourself grow a little bit wetter. “I told you not to call me that.”

It was the only precursor you got before Changbin was delving in, gripping your chin firmly as he connected your lips in a deep, sensuous exchange that had you reeling from the sudden 180 degree turn that the night had taken. 

In one word: everything was rough. Teeth meeting teeth, and tongues rolling in a messy glide against one another. Wet and warm. Silky and smooth. It was everything you needed in a kiss to get your gears turning, feeling your pussy positively throbbing in response.

“That’s right,” Changbin eventually said when he pulled the two of you apart - very much still in control. “We shouldn’t ignore this tension between us.”

“No,” you eagerly agreed, diving in once more for another earth-shattering kiss that rocked you to your very bones, taking the initiative to crawl into his lap, grinding yourself shamelessly against the tight bulge in his jeans while your fingers dug their way into his thick, dark hair. 

“Eager,” Changbin whispered between feverish kisses, keeping your mouths locked together at all costs, even if that meant growing a little bit light-headed from losing too much oxygen.

But you couldn’t get enough of him, not after all this teasing and tension. 

You didn’t care anymore, consequences be damned, and there wasn’t a single part of you opposing his intentional touches, giving him enough space to unbutton your jeans before sliding one hand beneath the waistband of your panties. In response, you moaned into his mouth, bracing your hands against his shoulders as he found the delicate folds of your pussy.

“Do you want me to touch you here?” Changbin asked, and you were feverishly nodding, sweat forming at the top of your forehead, trying your best to hold back your loudest moans when he slid right in with little resistance, moving his fingers around the inside of your cunt, stretching and filling you in a way that you imagined was nothing compared to what the thick cock beneath you could do.

But you would take anything from him, savoring the glide of his fingers since you were practically drenching him in sticky arousal, jerking forward every so often when his thumb pressed down a little too hard against your clit.

All the while, you could feel yourself start to break apart from the heated contact between the two of you, aching and wanting for the release that the look in his eyes told you he had every intention of providing.

And you were enjoying every bit of the journey to get there, bathing in his attention, groaning when his fingers curled up just right to tease your g-spot, and grinding down against the erection confined tightly in his jeans. 

Everything was suddenly so much louder, the sounds of his palm smacking against your cunt, fingers gliding through wetness, and the joined harmony of your combined moans and grunts. 

It was a rapid uphill ascent into the clouds, and you could feel him start to move even faster, pulling against the fabric of your jeans, and there was hardly any time for your mind to truly comprehend what was happening. Lost in a sinful haze of lust and divine rapture, wanting nothing more than to just lose yourself in Changbin.

Except he wasn’t letting you simply drown in the pleasure he was giving you, tugging at your hair to bring you back to the present, to the final string keeping your orgasm just out of reach. “You don’t think I haven’t noticed,” Changbin growled into your ear, keeping one hand tight around your waist to stop your squirming as he continued plunging his thick fingers between the tight walls of your pussy. “I see you looking at me because I want you to look.”

You moaned at the explicit expression of his desires, closing your eyes and returning your head against his shoulder, hips titillating according to the way he moved his fingers inside of you. 

“Cum for me,” he said, and you were more than willing to let go of everything, including the moans you had been trying to hold back, filling the house with the loud raucous of your screams as your orgasm snapped and unleashed a molten hot thrill along your spine.

You were gasping for breath, returning from the highest peak of satisfaction, but Changbin hardly gave you anytime to recover before he was removing his hand from your jeans and forcing you into the floor.

“My turn,” he grunted, and the sound of his belt unbuckling triggered some semblance of rationale, and you were practically salivating over Changbin’s cock, eyeing the red bulbous mushroom head and wondering how deep you could take him. “Well?” Changbin prodded, grabbing the base of his thick erection to brush it across the pout of your lips. “Open wide.”

You whimpered, but obeyed, allowing your tongue to stick out just enough to taste the drop of precum leaking from the tip. It was bitter and unappealing, but since it was from Changbin, you couldn’t resist trying more of him, going further and further down until you felt him at the back of your throat.

Your jaw was already aching from the extension, and a distant thought had you thinking, damn, you were gonna be sore in the morning. But it was completely worth it to hear him moan from above you, fingers tightening in your hair as you allowed him to set the pace, rolling you up and down his cock, tongue sweeping the sides and tip and digging into the little slit where you discovered he was the most sensitive. 

At the same time, you were all but humping his leg, desperate to get off again as he used your mouth for his own personal cocksleeve, hitting the back of your throat repeatedly, sending you gagging around his impossible length.

“You take cock like you were made for it,” he remarked, eyes glossing over in a way that had you feeling rather proud of your skills. 

It only lasted for a moment, and he abruptly held himself all the way down for one, two, three seconds until you were whining for him to let you free just long enough to take in another deep breath. 

“Finish me off,” he groaned, and you were working overtime to bring him to the edge, bobbing your head up and down the full expanse of his length, all gorgeous and velvety smooth skin. And you braced your hands against his knees, an anchor to reality, when he finally released down your throat, heavy and warm, causing you to nearly choke as you struggled to swallow every last drop.

“Good girl,” he whispered, petting your head softly as you whined and continued to rub yourself against him, jumping off the brink of orgasmic bliss right after him, allowing your head to fall down between his spread legs.

It was a quiet for a while as you both fought to catch your breath, but then he was moving again, rising from his position on the couch. 

You sat back on your heels at the jostling, whimpering when he stood over you with a menacing sneer, grabbing your face between his hands, forcing your gazes to meet somewhere in the middle even though you still couldn’t completely concentrate. But you were cognizant to at least understand his next words: “Lucy won’t be here tomorrow night, either.”

“Changbin,” you gasped, understanding the implications of his request and shivering at the effect they could still have on your worn-out body. 

“I’ll leave the door unlocked,” he whispered into your ear, keeping eye-contact as he brought his fingers still coated with your arousal into his mouth, sucking while you grew faint at the sight. Then, he pulled them free and knelt down to sear your lips together so that you could taste the riveting combination of your releases on his wicked tongue. 

You returned home that night in a daze, immediately heading for your room after assuring your mother that everything was totally fine with the babysitting, even if you probably appeared a little out of sorts. 

In the meantime, you landed on top of your bed with a sigh, opening your phone contacts to pull up Laura’s name, placing the call without any mind to the late hour.

She answered on the third ring with a curt grunt. “This better be good, Y/N.”

“Oh?” you replied with a nonchalant tone. “I thought you might be interested in hearing about my latest dick appointment.”

There was a sharp intake of breath on the other end. “You didn’t.”

“I did!”

“With your neighbor?”

You laughed at Laura’s shrill tone, rolling over onto your stomach with your feet dancing in the air behind you. “I totally sucked him off.” 

“Shit! How big is his cock?” Laura whispered over the phone as if anybody could possibly overhear your conversation. 

“Let’s just say he’s well-endowed.”

“You absolute slut!” Laura exclaimed. “Did he at least return the favor?”

“Oh, he’s a gentleman,” you explained. “He took care of me first.”

“Details!”

“He just fingered me,” you said, even as your mind sprinted with images and sensations; Changbin’s sultry gaze, defined muscles, and the burning desire he had planted deep in your core. 

“That’s hot though,” Laura said. “I can’t believe you actually did anything with him.”

“What? I told you he was sending me signals!”

“Yeah, but I was only halfway assuming that those signals might lead to his fingers in you!”

You couldn’t help yourself, laughing at Laura’s incredulous tone, and spending the next several minutes doing your absolute best to provide a heavily detailed play-by-play of your evening tryst with Changbin. 

“Lucky bitch,” Laura scoffed at the end of your long-winded tale. “I’d kill for someone to fuck me.”

“Well, we haven’t gotten there yet...”

“Yet? Are you planning to go back to him?”

“Obviously,” you said. “There’s unfinished business that I need to take care of.”

“You think he wants to fuck you?”

“I think he wants to do a lot to me,” you purred, smirking at the sounds of Laura’s outlandish squeals from the other end.

Still, you didn’t think those explicit fantasies would come to fruition so soon. But the next night when you returned to Changbin’s house under the guise of babysitting his kid, there were no formalities between the two of you because you both wanted each other in a way that should be considered improper. 

Fortunately, you were tired of caring about other people’s opinions, and it only took Changbin a moment to pull you into his house before his lips were crushing against yours, holding you around the waist as he started working at your clothes.

If whiplash was a thing in moments like these, then you had it bad, trying to follow the taste of him as he backed you both into the bedroom, closing the door and enveloping you both in the gentle glow from the lamp.

“Get on the bed,” Changbin growled when he finally pulled away, reaching down for the hem of his t-shirt. You swallowed hard at the sight of his broad, toned upper form, stumbling backward along the floor, hopping on one leg to finish removing your jeans for him, leaving you completely naked as you lowered yourself onto the mattress. “Good girl,” Changbin cooed, and you shivered at the huskiness of his voice, rubbing your thighs together in anticipation as he blatantly traced the outline of his cock through his jeans.

“Changbin, please,” you panted, already so worked up from just kissing and feeling his hands all over your body that you were desperate for something more.

“What do you want, gorgeous?” he asked, walking slowly around to the front of the bed as you watched him with eager eyes.

“Want you to fuck me,” you said, heart thundering against your chest when he started working apart his belt, pulling down his jeans and boxers and allowing his thick cock to slap up against his abdomen, already so hard for you even though you had just started.

“Hands and knees,” Changbin ordered, and you were surprised by your quick compliance, supporting yourself on shaky limbs as you felt him climb on the bed behind you, tensing when the head of his cock grazed your wet opening. “Look at you,” Changbin rumbled, teasing you even more by running his fingers down your spine, allowing his other hand to reach around to grope your breast.

“Hurry,” you practically begged him, and it was like the metaphorical band had finally snapped, and you moaned when Changbin took a firm hold of your hips, manhandling you back into position. 

“Good girls say please,” he snarled, and your entire form light up at the abrupt command.

“P-please,” you stuttered, and there was an unholy line of curses that left your lips when he directed his cock inside, penetrating you so slowly that you could feel every inch of him until he was snug against your ass.

“Since you asked nicely,” Changbin chuckled, and you had never been so turned on before in your entire life, heart racing and blood pumping, bracing yourself against the mattress when he started thrusting, gentle at first, but then faster and faster as you egged him on, wanting him to go so hard that he split you in half around his cock. 

“Oh, fuck,” you gasped, struggling to maintain any sort of grip on the headboard. 

“You’ve been holding out on me,” Changbin purred into your ear, sounding perfectly put-together despite the fact that he was literally drilling his cock into you. “All those guys you’ve fucked before, I would think your pussy wouldn’t be this tight.”

“You’re just too big,” you managed, crying out when he grazed a sensitive spot. 

“Oh? Is that why this little pussy is leaking so much?” Changbin asked, and you had no response for him, clearly fucked out of all rational thought as his hips slapped against yours in a bruising meeting of skin-on-skin. 

It was undeniable: you had never felt this full before...like Changbin’s cock was somehow reaching all the way to your guts, and you reached down to place a hand over your stomach, imagining feeling the bulge of his cock against the distended skin.

“How does daddy feel?” Changbin whispered into your ear, and if it was possible for him to literally destroy you, then it would be from that heavily suggestive question.

“So good,” you sniffled, tears falling inhibited, leaving your face just as wet as the place where he was crushing himself into you, repeating the same motion of leaving just the tip before re-entering you with added urgency, cock forcing its way between the slick walls of your cunt. 

It was a beautiful melodic song after that (or, perhaps, hard metal would be a much better genre), the rhythm of his hips rolling against your own, hard and then softer, bruising and fleeting, stuffing your pussy on every upstroke, holding you in place by his pure strength. 

You could feel that strength everywhere, the force of his cock squelching between your pulsating walls, the way you moved up and down the bed by his control, and, when you reached back with one hand to feel his arm, the flex of his biceps as his arms worked to move you however he pleased.

“What will your mother say, Y/N?” Changbin asked. “When she finds out that her daughter fucked the man next door?”

Your mother would absolutely lose her shit if she found out that you were willingly spreading your legs for a divorced 32-year old man who had a daughter you were meant to be babysitting. She would be even more taken aback to discover that you loved and craved every second of Changbin’s cock tearing you to pieces, stretching you so good that you imagined that you would still be gaping in the morning, desperate to have him fill you again. 

“Her little girl screaming like a slut for me,” Changbin hissed. “Say my name, Y/N.”

“C-Changbin,” you whimpered, feeling him roll to a slower pace, merely grinding his hips in circles as if teasing you for the answer.

You flinched and nearly cried when he smacked the fleshy part of your ass, trying to look back over your shoulder to see what you had done wrong. “Try again,” he said, giving you a meaningful look that your poor, fucked-out brain still managed to decipher; although, you were burning in your own skin at the thought of saying it out loud....

“Daddy!” you moaned, and Changbin suddenly reached down to catch a fistful of your hair, pulling your head back and forcing your back into an even deeper arch. 

“That’s right,” he sneered. “And Daddy’s about to ruin this pussy, fuck it so full of my cum that you’ll still be feeling it when you go back home tonight to your parents and lie about what you’ve done.”

Your next moan was the loudest of the night, overwhelmed by the nasty things he was saying to you, feeling your orgasm gaining speed and traction the longer he kept fucking you, cock moving at a neck-break pace, and fingers wet and hurried over your clit.

The combined friction of his cock and fingers had you reeling, struggling to keep yourself up as he pummeled you into the mattress. Taking great liberties in the screams he was forcing out of you, realizing that if he angled his hips with one of your legs stretched higher around his hip, then he could somehow reach even deeper, kissing your cervix and threatening to steal the breath from your lungs. 

More and More. Faster and Faster. Until the breaking point was right under your nose...

The next thing you remember is a release that was so intense, you managed to black-out when it was all over, pussy fluttering around the distinct waves of pleasure, barely coherent as Changbin continued chasing his own release until he fulfilled his obscene promise to you. 

Three Weeks Later

You had gotten awfully good at keeping Changbin a secret - a dirty and scandalous whisper at that. 

For a while, your mother questioned your insistence on going over to your neighbor’s house to babysit, especially considering your history of being less than willing to interact with children.

“She’s not like most kids,” you lied, waiting for your mother to relent before grabbing whatever bag you needed consisting of your overnight clothes, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible when you walked over to Changbin’s house.

Your mother watched you, at first, standing on the porch as if ensuring that you made it the dozen or so feet separating your yard from that of your neighbor’s. Eventually, she gave up on trying to catch you doing something you weren’t supposed to, but you still kept up appearances, ringing the doorbell and taking a few steps to the side to leave enough room for the screen to rotate on its hinges, offering you the irresistible view of Changbin standing there in all his glory. 

“You’re early,” he remarked; although he seemed to take great pleasure in seeing you as early as possible.

“Is that okay?” you asked with a knowing look, and Changbin chuckled while giving you his most arrogant smirk. 

In return, you smiled back at Changbin, watching him open the door just a little bit wider in invitation.

It was all you needed before surrendering yourself to whatever delicious and mind-blowing ecstasy awaited on you the other side.  

Summer of 69 indeed.

[makeste]

my biggest worry about the UA traitor is that it won’t feel significant as the major characters suspected in being it don’t play a big role in the story leading up to now.. like aoyama yes he might cause shock but hagakure?? she doesn’t done much imo but i do think she is the traitor i just wish hori given her some spotlight early on to lead to the moment and the suspense yk

fwiw, you're not alone, anon; I see this concern crop up pretty much every single time there's a U.A. traitor discussion. but the thing is, there's an underlying assumption here that the sole purpose of a plot twist is to shock people. and I would argue that's not true. imo, a well-written plot twist serves many purposes, and shocking the audience is only one of them, and far from the most important one. (in fact, I'd argue that it's not even strictly necessary.) here are four that I can think of right off the top of my head.

they catch and hold the audience's attention. this isn't the case for all plot twists, but it's certainly true for ones which the author chooses to deliberately dangle before the audience, as Horikoshi chose to do with the U.A. traitor plot. if he really wanted to shock people with the reveal, it would have been better for him not to call attention to it in the first place. there was no need whatsoever to have Present Mic bring it up back in chapter 83. but he chose to go that route because he wanted the readers to notice, and he wanted them to start thinking about it and to start speculating about the traitor's identity. it gets the audience excited, and it gives them an incentive to keep reading to see how the story will play out.

they encourage the audience to engage more with the story. the U.A. traitor plot is easily one of the most talked-about elements in the entire story. at this point I don't think there's a single teacher or student character who hasn't been the target of suspicion at some point or other. and again, this was a conscious trade-off on Horikoshi's part, because it would have been much easier to blindside readers with the eventual reveal if they weren't out here forming all of these exhaustive theories. announcing that There Is A Traitor pretty much guarantees that no matter who it ends up being, someone will have predicted it ahead of time. but the trade-off is that fans are paying closer attention to the story, and continuing to think about the plot even when they're not reading the manga, and engaging in more discussion with their fellow fans. and all of that is more than worth the loss of the shock element imo.

they add new layers and depth to the story. this is the hallmark of all of the most iconic plot twists. anyone can write a story and tag on some sort of half-assed unpredictable heel turn at the end in order to try and surprise people and make themselves look smart. but the best plot twists are the ones which actually make sense, and which have foreshadowing sprinkled in throughout the story, so that when you go back and look at everything a second time it makes you go, "ohhh, that's why." a good plot twist should be just as enjoyable to read the second and third time around, even after the shock value has expired, because the satisfaction of seeing a well-planned and executed plot development is still there. and with the very best twists, the story is actually even more enjoyable to go back and reread afterwards, because the knowledge of the twist adds new insight and context and perspective to all of the previous scenes.

and last but not least, they add suspense. there are plenty of ways to keep your readers on their toes that don't necessarily involve surprises coming out of left-field. and this is another thing that the author gains when they make that calculated sacrifice of announcing a plot twist ahead of time. the reader is no longer going to be shocked, because they're now anticipating it -- but that anticipation is a great consolation prize in and of itself. and so with this particular plot, for instance, there's more to the U.A. Traitor Mystery than just the question of who it is. there's also the questions of why, and most important of all, the question of what will happen when everyone finds out? and those questions add a ton of suspense to the story. when will AFO call on Hagakure again? what will he ask her to do? what's going to happen if and when she finally gets caught? how exactly is Aoyama involved in all this? and how will the other members of class A react?? each of these questions has enough inherent suspense that you could make a separate cliffhanger out of each and every one of them if you wanted to.

the thing that everyone always seems to overlook is that the reveal isn't the point. the reveal, when it happens, is going to be a one-time thing which will only be in play for a single chapter at most, after which the plot needs to still be able to stand on all of its other merits. so for instance, suppose that Horikoshi does go for shock over substance, and decides to go with someone "unexpected" like Ochako. sure, you get the shock value, because no one seriously expects it to be her. and maybe to some people it would feel more impactful, because she has a closer connection to Deku and the other characters. but the trade-off is that a twist like that would make absolutely no sense. it completely lacks the careful foreshadowing of the Hagakure/Aoyama twist. and it would detract from Ochako's character development, rather than adding on to it, because it would completely undo so much of what her character journey has been about up until now. all of that sacrificed just for the sake of a one-time twist, which a good chunk of readers would be spoiled for in advance thanks to the weekly spoiler leak cycle. ymmv, but to me that would absolutely not be worth it, and would be a huge waste of both Ochako's character, and of all the careful work that Horikoshi has done to weave this whole plot together.

on the other hand, the fact that Hagakure has had next to no spotlight up till now is exactly what makes her the perfect candidate. with her there's no need to worry about undoing years of carefully planned character development. there's no need to worry about the twist not making sense, or not holding up to the scrutiny of hindsight, because all of Hagakure's interactions with the other characters have always been curiously superficial. we know next to nothing about her family or history or motivations. her character is pretty much a blank slate, which makes her pretty much the only person in 1-A whose betrayal wouldn't feel awkward and forced and completely unnatural.

and as for everyone who's already made up their minds that her betrayal would lack any impact, I think they're both underestimating the amount of impact that any betrayal from one of class A's own would have, and also underestimating Horikoshi's ability to deliver when it comes to ninth-inning backstories. Dabi's backstory came pretty late in the game as well for instance, and that didn't take away from its impact at all. and the same goes for Hawks as well. just because Hagakure doesn't have any backstory yet doesn't mean she's not going to get one. and if you think Horikoshi doesn't have something good cooked up after all this time, then I don't know what else to tell you, except just, "wait and see."

anyway so yeah. and also just a reminder once again that even though fandom sometimes gets bogged down in this kind of discussion involving our personal opinions as to who would be the best traitor candidate, or the most shocking or meaningful or unexpected, etc., at the end of the day the actual evidence we have all points to Hagakure. I know I sound like a broken record at this point, but yeah lol.

[allexteriordark]

Can I just ask why you're so interested in the john/dean dynamic? I just never found it interesting, John wasn't in the show enough for me to grow an interest, so I'd like to hear it from your pov :)

@ghost-go-roasty-mctoasty let me start off by saying i cannot possibly explain or phrase this in a way that's better than what others have said.... refer to nikki fearlastyear and bug familyhorror for real 🥴 but i get that you're asking why i'm like this so

i'm gonna put a read more since i'm incapable of being succint. i just rambled on and you'll have to take it because that was enough time spent on this. and like, i might not be satisfied, might not feel like i conveyed what i wanted to, but i don't feel like i can pull anything better out of myself lol and that's okay

and the answer, the relationship i have with my dad is certainly something and i'm projecting 💗 no but the key to dean and john is that a lot of it is off-screen. we're told about the night azazel paid a friendly little visit, about john being a vietnam vet, an ex-marine who just wanted to settle down, about sam and dean's childhood, about dean's problems with identity and self-worth. the show tells us a lot of things about them, just not outright. a lot can be deduced imo!!

the appeal is this: dean was devoted to his father, served him as well as he could, idolized him, despite john being absent and despite how he treated his sons. like,, john was his god. (i don't see this kind of intense devotion often in media when it comes to fathers - or it doesn't do it for me?? why i latched onto them probably has something to do with john's character. anyway,)

i feel like i was shown enough of john to... find him interesting enough to make me think about him and how he raised his boys? from very early on, john was dean's hero. as @familyhorror said, the night mary died intertwined their lives, not just because trauma, but because from that point on they were sharing this mission: protect sam, avenge mary and the sanctity of family.... i'm interested in dean's space in this family, in this unit, when the three of them were together (especially with me having a shitty family like i had to raise my sister and protect her from my parents sometimes. relatability points!!)

i wonder how dean and john operated when sam, the disobedient son, the one who didn't put family first, left them. that was a shared pain, shared betrayal to an extent. and from when sam left to when john went missing, it was just the two of them. that's all dean and john had 🥴 i'm probably definitely underestimating how many friends and acquaintances john had (pastor jim was definitely in the picture from early on..) but the stanford years couldn't be insignificant!! their relationship must have intensified. so they were sergeant and soldier, but also john, broken man on a revenge mission, and dean, his only true companion and provider of comfort.... tugging at john's coat when he was sad (above the clouds of pompeii by bear's den is actually about them just so everyone knows) and telling his dad it'll be okay after he came home from a hunt. dean did that, when he was small o_o i doubt he stopped wanting to care for his dad

sam wasn't elevated to the level in the family dean was elevated to. because dean's the oldest. the parent's supposed to provide the comfort, children can't possibly make good friends for their parents, no matter how much the parent needs a supporter. "i put too much on your shoulders, i made you grow up too fast. you took care of sammy, you took care of me" !!! dean turned into his dad's partner, in a way, because john needed one. total coincidence that my mom also thinks i can care for her like a friend and forgets that i'm her daughter ahaha <3

with mary dead, someone also needed to do the tasks traditionally assigned to like, the mom. i just doubt john always did the laundry and cleaned up when there was a mess and acted as a health care provider and did the dishes, it makes more sense to me that he passed most of the khmm ""duties of a mother"" off to dean... i mean. john definitely didn't do a lot for the comfort of his boys, in the name of nurturing them.... but dean had a baby brother, he had to make things better for his brother, i feel like when john left a spot empty, when something wasn't done, he stepped in. sometimes. this doesn't mean dean was a good wife replacement or that he was the only one who cooked or anything like that lol i'm just saying that dean definitely took on more responsibility than a kid's supposed to and his relationship with his father existed mostly so john's needs would be met. he wasn't just a son to john, that's what i think of them

also once sam left i think john could just, pull dean even deeper, have him be more obedient, on the same page as john - i'm doing this for your perfect angel of a mother and for family and for sammy, i'm doing this to you for your own good, because the world is a dark place and i love you so much. and isn't it interesting, dean thinking the abuse is justified? that john was right to leave them to go on hunts and to move them from motel to motel, eradicating any chance of connection they could've had outside of family and any chance of feeling like they have a home? and of feeling safe.. that's another thing: when dean's a kid all he knows is something killed his mom, there's monsters out there, but dad's gonna make it better :) of course he clung to a perfect image of his father and he stayed with john and modeled himself after his dad. (of course that's interesting to me)

dean loved like his father, learned love from him, because he learned everything else from him too actually, and he became his father. isn't that level of devotion insane. i don't just mean the music, the jacket, the car, or the lifestyle, or the alcoholism and violence later on, i mean more like, the very foundations of who dean is. his morals, his being is based on john. so his entire life his father never left him :) there's something religious about this, and also something that reminds me of platonism: john being the idea of absolute good and true, that dean wants to take inside himself,,, as much of john as possible. he could never be good and heroic enough though (the american hero he was trying to measure up to is like. not real ofc). dean sold his soul for sam, even though that's what john did for him and it was a terrible burden, to be saved, through sacrifice, but he couldn't help it :) and he comes back from hell and is told that his father lasted longer, could withstand more, he'll never be the hero john was.

so, the abuse was passed on (dean violating sam's autonomy because he can't live without sam, and, other stuff like that. i couldn't list everything dean did that was fucked up <3) and the selling your soul for your family, for your kid, was passed on!! horrific, turning into your parent and fucking someone up the same way they fucked you up. i'm very compelled by the winchester family and what they do to each other, because, that's family, to me at least, it's horrendous and the only thing that matters :/

and this is the part where i talk about my dad 🤪 so get this: i fucking hate him. i despise him, i want him dead, the intensity of it scares me. he turns me into something ugly! i can't forgive him and there's really nothing to salvage here, in what i have with him, and i've thought about it a lot. for a while i thought, okay, then i just let him go, see, it's done, i don't care about him, no more pain!! he's nothing to me he can't hurt me! but then turns out that i can't do that, because now that he's dead to me, i have to mourn him. i can't let go, family doesn't work like that! haha silly me!

so i miss the father i never had, and will never have, so much. it's worse that i have no connection to him, in a way, than if it was a love-hate thing. i think it makes sense that i'd latch onto dean winchester's intense connection to his father. i'm envious as fuck :)) <3

i hope you got a bit of a look into what compels me about dean and john. if you have any questions though, if something wasn't clear, i'm happy to explain anything!!

[hopevalley]

Season 8, Episode 1: Open Season

Work was busier than expected on Monday, but the deep dive into the first episode of S8 begins now!

Scene 1: Narration, Elizabeth and Nathan, Lucas

The awkwardness between Elizabeth and Nathan was...palpable at first lol.The best part about the non-narrated part of the scene is twofold: Nathan interacting with Jack is a well-needed and very nice touch, and of course it’s always nice to see that Nathan is patient concerning Elizabeth’s situation and reassures her that she can let him know when she’s ready to go to dinner with him.

My problem with the whole thing is that...if she hasn’t spoken up about wanting that dinner date yet, and she’s not saying yes she’d like to get dinner with you now, it’s like...any sane person would assume at this point in the story that Elizabeth isn’t interested in Nathan. Worse, Nathan isn’t the kind of man who wouldn’t take a hint. I’m pretty sure this is why the opening scene felt just a little bit off. I think they ought to have let Elizabeth be a little more enthusiastic about the idea while still failing to commit to it. 

To be fair to the writers, I can’t imagine it was easy for them to figure out how to open this season after such a long time gap. They let a whole winter elapse between last season and this one. How do you explain literally no major development with the love triangle in that amount of time? Especially after the way the last season ended?

Random consideration: the camera focuses on Elizabeth’s face a lot and makes her wedding ring clearly visible.

Boom, the flashback with Lucas. I think having him leave out of jealousy was a better idea than having his mother fall ill (we’ve certainly seen that enough at this point), and maybe we should also consider the fact that while Lucas was gone, Nathan didn’t really jump on the opportunity to woo Elizabeth himself.

I wonder if we’ll get an explanation for that or not. What makes Lucas so sure that after 4+ months, Elizabeth hasn’t started courting Nathan? Maybe he kept in touch with someone in town? Or he just knows Elizabeth well enough to know she wouldn’t feel quite ready to commit in that time frame anyway?

I did really like Lucas’s opening scene with Elizabeth. Honestly, he was quite likable, here: admitting he was wrong, admitting his shortcomings, apologizing. All good things. “I’m ashamed I let my jealousy get the best of me... The worst of me.” That’s such a good line.

It didn’t feel equal in enthusiasm to the Nathan scene, but I’ll have more thoughts on that later. I do believe it was on purpose.

--

Scene 2: Clara and Jesse’s Fight, The Café

I like the concept of some marital discord for Clara and Jesse. Marriage is easier said than done and like any serious relationship, it’s a lot of consistent maintenance. It starts out pretty well, with Jesse sleeping in the other bedroom. At this point I fully expected to find out Clara kicks in her sleep or she snores a lot or something that’s funny to hear about but really difficult to actually deal with in real life. Color me disappointed later, but I’ll get to it.

--

Scene 3: The Mercantile, Ned, Florence, Carson

This just set up things with Faith’s situation so there’s not much to say, but as always I do love Florence. I hope she gets some good scenes this season. And I love Ned so I hope the same for him.

Henry coming in to mail a letter was interesting, though. I’m not sure it’ll mean anything in particular later, but...it’s possible.  Then again, maybe he’s just here to set our expectations regarding Faith’s return (of course it’s a long trip from Chicago) or Carson’s worry (a bit unreasonable unless he expected to hear from her at a specific stop).

--

Scene 4: Nathan, Dylan

Dylan is such an incredible scumbag. The spurs were a nice touch. He says things almost fondly (“She’s growing up... My little girl.”) and then wants nothing to actually do with Allie. 

The guy’s actually a pretty good actor. The way he segues into being glad for Allie’s sake that Nathan wasn’t the one killed. If the next words out of his mouth weren’t a demand for go-away money you’d almost feel those words were genuine!

--

Scene 5: Lee and Rosemary’s Return + Faith’s Return + Dylan Part Two

Lots of energy in this scene, both good and bad. I always appreciate what Lee and Rosemary bring to the show. I genuinely just don’t care that much about Faith. I’m ready to ship her with Cowboy Brett Brewer. He gets a name, which makes me wonder if he’s gonna show up again. :3

Lol at Carson’s jelly face:

I MEAN...

Not a fan of Faith’s outfit...but to be fair we’ve never really seen Faith outside of uniform. That just doesn’t strike me as something she would wear to travel in...?

Dylan approaching Jack and Jack speaking to him was so hilarious to me. “A puppy!” It’s extra funny after he looked afraid of Rosemary. Nathan intervening was undoubtedly for the best, but I can’t imagine why he would have approached Elizabeth or Jack. He doesn’t know who they are, or their connection to Nathan. Maybe too convenient. Might have been better to have him approach someone else entirely--like Opal.

--

Scene 6: Nathan and Allie

It’s great Nathan’s officializing the adoption but he had literal years to do this and only chooses now, when there’s a threat? Legally Dylan doesn’t have a leg to stand on even in that day and age (he did the abandoning in the first place + Nathan is a lawman)... It kind of ruined the cute moment for me, and I think it will come back in a bad way later.

I don’t mind Nathan’s inability to confide in Elizabeth in this situation. At this point, she doesn’t need to know, and the situation is just weird enough that he probably doesn’t think he needs to dump his own problems on her.

--

Scene 7: Carson and Faith

I’m the jerk who just chanted “BREAK UP BREAK UP BREAK UP” during this scene in my head. I just...don’t care about Faith and Carson.

--

Scene 8: Bill and The Gals

I hate that they keep retconning Bill’s ability to cook well with every passing season. In season 2 and 3 he was more than satisfactory. In S4 he made dinner for Dottie and it was really nice. Now he’s godawful and doesn’t taste his own shit before letting other people try it? Come on.

This is the kind of stuff the writing team needs to cut out of the story. It’s not funny. 

Worse, outspoken Fiona lying to Bill? I just don’t see it. At least Molly told him the truth...but I still am just SO tired of seeing this shit. It makes me think new writers only watched the last couple of seasons instead of all of them.

Also, if Bill is literally running the cafe most of the time, if he was bad at cooking, then...the place would have shut down ages ago. What they should lean into if they wanna do a cooking joke is that Bill isn’t good at creating recipes from scratch. Maybe he doesn’t have a strong sense of taste (my husband has this issue so it’s the first thing that comes to mind) so he’s likely to over-do things like spice or sugar or salt on accident. There’s also a lot of room for jokes about his “taste” in things that can come of it (women, clothes, et cetera).

--

Scene 9: Lee’s Pants

Good scene, 10/10, wouldn’t change a thing. I hope this pants thing becomes a running gag. This is the good kind of humor I want in my life. And I like that Jesse wants to emulate Lee. It’s wholesome. 

--

Scene 10: Rosemary and Clara

The ribbon as a tissue was funny, but it was just SLIGHTLY too over the top for me.

--

Scene 11: Faith and Carson Again...............

“Were you jealous of that cowboy?” I think he should be. The cowboy is better. I don’t give a damn about these characters. And I genuinely hate that the strumming is Carson’s Thing Now. At the very least we should get some Carson and Bill doing a duet together which would be cool.

It just felt like it was shilling Paul and had nothing to do with the characters.

--

Scene 12: Mmm Money

This is arguably the most interesting scene in the episode. Lucas nodded at Nathan. Nathan went to Lucas for money. Lucas didn’t need to get the scoop to find out why Nathan needed it to loan it to him. Elizabeth is officially the least interesting part of the love triangle.

They treat her like she’s such a prize to be won, but I’m starting to worry that she’s become the new Lorigail on the show.

Anyway this scene had some gay vibes and I liked them.

--

Scene 13: Rosemary and Elizabeth Catch Up

YES. GOOD SCENE. It starts off fun and it gets serious, and the transition feels really natural. “Did he have reason to be [jealous]?” I’m genuinely glad this is in the episode. It needed to be. I hope Rosemary continues to ask the hard questions.

Elizabeth needs to face either dating one of them, or dating neither of them so that everybody can get on with their lives. If you’re not that enthusiastic about either of them I’d say...maybe don’t date either of them idk.

--

Scene 14: Nathan and Bill Talk

"If he sees you with me, then...” The problem with this scene is uh...twofold, let’s say.

Issue 1: ThEN HE WILL WHAT, NATHAN? WHAT HAS HE EVER DONE BEFORE THAT WAS SO BAD if he’s not a hard criminal? Maybe an example would be useful here...?

Issue 2: The old Bill Avery would have heard “if he SEES YOU with ME” and mentally been like, “all right so it’s only bad if he SEES ME” and spied on Nathan.

Nathan wanting Bill to stay behind in case Dylan doubles back isn’t a terrible idea, but it almost comes across more like...the writers just want Nathan alone.

--

Scene 15: Oil

I like the discussion and that Hickam gets to do something. I feel like Henry is low-key advising against shooting the well, and that Lucas and Hickam will end up doing it and causing an issue. It’s just setting up for the future and it’s nice to see those kinds of scenes in the series again!

--

Scene 16: Jesse and Lee

I’d like this scene more if I felt it gave us ANY insight into the problem Jesse and Clara are having. It mostly comes across like Jesse gets home and does nothing at all until bedtime and Clara is lonely. Could have been a better scene. It’s mostly just repetitive right now.

--

Scene 17: Nathan Cancels the Date

“Tomorrow’s Saturday.” Nathan’s like uhhhhh. This actually works really well to do what it’s supposed to do. By that I mean, he seems “off” so Elizabeth realizes he’s a bit stressed and leaving town = mountie business = dangerous.

I kind of wish Rosemary and Elizabeth would talk more about this, but maybe that’s coming in an episode soon...?

--

Scene 18: The Barbershop

Just a cute nice scene that shows a good friendship between Fiona, Clara, and Faith. I like this stuff. Keep it coming, Hallmark!

--

(Skipping Scene 19 because it’s just Nathan riding around...)

--

Scene 20: Lee and Rosemary Scheme

I really enjoyed this little bit where they decide to buy something for Clara and Jesse and we don’t get to see what it is. Super wholesome and very fun!

--

Scene 21: Nathan gets Ambushed

This scene was absolutely wild. Probably one of the best scenes like this that they’ve ever done. Dylan taking Nathan’s hat, “Take care of my little girl” after he takes the money and Nathan’s gun. It was super good.

Also, not too fake that Nathan was on the ground that long. If you got roped off of your horse you’d have the wind knocked out of you super hard lmao.

--

Scene 22: Bill & The Girls

Clara and Fiona are so cute. Bill playing the “Dad” figure to them both is really nice and it’s good for him. “I’m a lawman. I get to sneak.” What a Bill response. 

--

(Skipping Scene 23 since it’s just Nathan finding his horse.)

--

Scene 24: Lucas visits with Elizabeth

Lucas and Elizabeth are flirting via a nursery rhyme. I...don’t like that LOL. But Lucas’s “Helen Bouchard taught me to read and after that I was on my own.” She really sounds unloving. This was a pretty decent scene, though.

Also, Grand Isle Louisiana had a major hurricane in 1909 and 1915.

They also seem to have been hit by more mild hurricanes in 1916 and 1917, but the 1915 one was a Cat4, so...the most notable.

--

Scene 25: Rosemary and Lee in the Dress Shop

This tries to solve the issue of Clara and Jesse’s marital problems, but it doesn’t actually do that. “Let Jesse read when he gets home.” “I’ll talk to Jesse.” Meh.

--

Scene 26: Barbershop

“Why do this when you’re so good with women’s hair?” I fully expected Fiona to say, “That’s where all the hot gossip is, of course.” I do like  her gumption, though!

--

Scene 27: Nathan Finds Dylan

“I had to let you ambush me, so I had grounds to put you away.” COLD BUT EFFECTIVE. I appreciate this.

Imagine getting to be this smug. I wish it were me.

Anyway, long-term thoughts on this are mostly that...there is just no reasonable way Dylan’s story is over yet. It’s too juicy of a storyline to let go this easily. Allie is going to find out what Nathan did and she’s going to struggle to come to terms with it, especially after her grandfather really did try to turn his life around. Why couldn’t it be the same for her father? Why couldn’t she get lucky like that?

I hope it feels satisfying, whatever they choose to do. Otherwise this was just wrapped up too neatly/too quickly.

--

Scene 28: Nathan Returns

Very good scene. Nathan’s in a good mood and he does my favorite trope of all time when one person in the relationship has a child: “Why don’t we all go?” You already all know each other, so why not? It’s wholesome and good, and it shows he doesn’t care how he gets to spend time with Elizabeth, as long as he does.

Also, it takes a lot of the pressure off of her for the duration of the date and at its conclusion. This was a cute and good scene, one of the better they’ve had, I think.

--

Scene 29: Jesse and Lee Talk

This was a nice attempt at a talk, but it really comes off like Jesse has stopped loving Clara for no reason. That his romantic interest in her is what is causing the failure in their relationship.

The problem is: WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS CAUSING IT. NOBODY EVER SAID. 

I agree that love isn’t “just” a feeling or “just” an emotion. It’s ALSO a choice. Marriage is a commitment you choose to continue every day. That is all good.

“Choose love. Then you feel it.” is probably some of the worst dialogue they’ve put in the show, though. Yuck. It left a bad taste in my mouth. It feels like it’s shaming people who legitimately fall out of love or who are in bad relationships. “If only you chose to work harder.”

I don’t think that was their intention at all, but it really soured the scene. I would have MUCH rather have had Lee get Jesse to talk about what’s wrong and then offer him pointers on how he could do better. Maybe he’s stressed out and losing himself in books, or he wishes Clara would sit and read with him because that’s something he always wanted. Or maybe Clara would be down for reading time if he read to her while she did her sewing.

There’s so much they could have done here to really send this home, but it didn’t work very well. At the very least Lee could have said, instead of ‘choose love’: CHOOSE COMMUNICATION. Make sure she knows you still feel that way about her.

The biggest thing is like, Lee could also be very encouraging in saying like, the honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever but just because things settle down doesn’t mean the love is less.

THERE IS SO MUCH GOOD STUFF THEY COULD HAVE WRITTEN FOR THIS but they chose “Choose love. Then you feel it.” WTF. That’s awful advice.

--

Scene 30: Jesse and Clara

Him bringing her flowers was a nice touch, and her getting him the book was also nice. The tandem bike was SO unexpected to me and I loved it. It’s just goofy enough that it works. The best part is that they know it’s not going to fix anything, but it’s still a fun and nice thing to do, and that’s wonderful for Rosemary and Lee. They both like to make the people they care about happy.

--

Scene 31: Mama Bouchard

MILF ALERT.

Elizabeth is just so shook at all of this she doesn’t say a damn thing for so long it made my palms feel sweaty.

“Someone ought to take an interest in your writing, don’t you think?” I rewatched the episode to understand the tone, and it’s a little hoity-toity/uppity, but she actually doesn’t sound condescending. It’s good for an editor to meet the author, after all, and meet to talk about their writing/book. This has always been custom, even in the early 1900s. Authors didn’t usually get their work published by an editor they’d never met (though of course, you will find some exceptions). 

From the little we saw, Helen seems fine. The preview for the next episode tells us she’s UH, AN EDITOR DOING HER JOB, so I’m not looking forward to the editor being the bad guy, but I guess I’ll have to deal with that when it arrives. (To be clear, Elizabeth has never proved to the audience that she’s a Good Writer, let alone a Great Writer. She’s also not experienced which means her work probably NEEDS SOME WORK.)

Anyway, Elizabeth is immediately rude as HELL. Nobody can make an excuse for this. Helen isn’t THAT big of a deal. There are other publishers. Your father is filthy rich. If she changes her mind about your book you can pub to someone via your father if you have to. Like...Helen wouldn’t have taken you on if she didn’t see any potential in you. 

Even if it was a big deal, Elizabeth has NEVER been a flake. EVER. 

This is a classic case of a writer forcing the character to go out of character in order to bend to what the plot dictates. 

If I were Nathan, I’d drop Elizabeth like a brick.

How to fix this scene? I’ll honestly have to think about that for a while. This was the first hint of truly bad writing this season. The bit with Lee and “choose love” was careless writing, but this scene with Nathan is just Bad.

The thing is, I KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING. I know they put this in there so that it looks like she’ll choose Lucas because she never even goes out with Nathan, and then BOOM. I know it’s meant to be this big thing about how she’s scared to feel anything for Nathan because Lucas is the safer option and also a good man (so why would she fall for the more frightening option?).

But this was not the right way to do this type of scene. I hope to God in the next episode someone says something about it. Allie could tell her it was rude and it hurt Nathan’s feelings/you shouldn’t have said yes if you didn’t want to. It’d be fully in character for her. Rosemary could also say something similar. If they do, I might be able to forgive this...but if it’s not called attention to by the other characters, then it’s a massive failure as a scene to me.

--

Did I miss anything? Do you want my thoughts on something in particular? Shoot me a message HERE and I’ll do my best to answer! 

[theonetheycallhannah]

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Prologue: History

Characters: OFC (Shane Benton), OMC (Elliott Thomas)

Summary: Shane Benton is a hard-working physical therapist and a loving girlfriend…but her boyfriend has a less than desirable way of showing it.

In case you’ve fallen behind or want to read more of my drabbles!

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings:  Language, mature themes, angst, infidelity, domestic violence (moderate). Yeah, this may be a tad rough for some readers, but I tried to be mild, and mostly implicit. It was hard still, to see my fictional offspring go through this, even if she gives as good as she gets!

Author’s Note: Oh, y’all. When I needed a break from the sweet tenderness of Chapter 8, I came here and put Shane through some hell. (You can blame one of my friends I was talking about for this angst as they’re the one who put me into angsty headspace by cheating on my other friend! It’s been weighing on me! But I guess at least I’ve been able to use it!) I really hope you enjoy a bit of backstory on our heroine! I really liked writing her ferocity.

Also, I meant to have this posted yesterday, but because of some tragedy in one of my other fandoms (and the world, in general! Rest In Power, Chadwick Boseman!) and a bit of craziness in my personal life (my HS bestie wanted to hang out this weekend, so I spent a lot of time with her…also…I’ve been talking to a real live fella! OMG! And it’s entirely too soon to say that I like him, but like…I very much do…but he’s far away and recently single and things are complicated in just, several ways, so it just can’t happen at this point. But…like, we have been talking a ton recently, and…sigh. I have found it difficult to focus on the matters at hand. But, rest assured, I’m working on Chapter Nine, and it will be up just as soon as I find my rhythm!

Disclaimer: Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism. (Well, this isn’t a super fun chapter, I guess!)

Tags: 

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@bloodyinspiredfuck

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Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! (Also, if you’ve asked and aren’t on the list...well...that would be because I forgot to add you and reminding me will not offend or upset me. I think I might have ADD, or something, and being reminded about things is kind of how I survive!) Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X

5 years ago-

Shane got home from work, exhausted. The new electronic documentation system they'd just implemented was kicking her ass. And Anita's, whom she constantly had to help with it, all the while hearing Anita bellow "When can I retire?!" which lost its charm on about the third day.

"Elliott, I'm home." She didn't smell anything cooking, despite the fact that she knew he was off all day today. Whatever. She was used to him doing virtually nothing but whatever hipster bullshit he got up to on Instagram and YouTube, trying to get off the ground as an influencer with a brand…spare her. Since when did that become a job? She didn’t mind to get takeout though, if only she knew he wasn’t cooking. Maybe she should have asked. "Honey, I could have picked something up if--" she was startled by him in the doorway to the hall, in only his anime boxers, looking like he was trying to not be surprised she was home. "What?"

"Nothing, just…excited to see you! How was your day?" Elliott asked, scratching the back of his neck, displacing his mid-length, slightly moppy light brown hair, already disheveled. That was his tell. Something was up. She knew it.

"What's going on? Are you hiding something from me?"

"Why would you ask me that? Don't you trust me, baby?!" he guilted. Knowing just the buttons to push for empathy. It wasn't gonna work today. The machine was all out of that selection and full of his bullshit currency.

"Now that you mention it, no. I sure as hell don't." she walked around to enter the hall and investigate the rest of the house. "Let me through." he wouldn't budge. He had the advantage of physical size, but she was still wearing her work uniform including sneakers…he was more than half naked. She stomped hard on his instep and smacked him in the ear as he doubled over. She felt marginally bad for that in the moment…at best he'd get mild tinnitus for a while. At worst, he could have permanent hearing damage. She'd check later for blood coming out of his ear and see if she should feel worse about it then.

She rounded the corner to their bedroom. The quilt her grandma had made her was carelessly crumpled with the top sheet and blanket at the foot board. She noticed a swatch of an orangey red lipstick on her pillow. The same shade smudged onto the full mouth of the panicking strawberry blonde frantically donning clothes in front of her antique mirror, and the same shade, she was guessing, that was smeared across certain places on Elliott’s body that were now covered by those boxers that she had always hated. You know what, Elliott, she thought to herself. Fuck Bleach, and fuck you!

"I'm sure you're a lovely person who's just been lied to by a very charming and manipulative man, but…you still only have ten seconds to get to my front door before I call the cops." Shane threatened the girl, who couldn't have been more than twenty-one…and he was thirty-three.

"She's my guest." Elliott defended.

"You're not even on the lease. Your credit was too bad." she said over her shoulder while still squared off with the girl. She turned back to her. "I'm trying to be calm here, sweetie. But do not make me tell you even one more time to get out of my…fucking…house." the girl picked up her shoes and a small messenger bag from the floor near where Shane stood, keeping as wide a berth as she could, and skittered out of the room in terror.

"How many times, Elliott?"

"Don't do this, Shane."

"No, I think this is something we should do. Count the times you’ve broken my trust. Kissed another girl, fooled around with one, fucked one…I mean…I've never caught you in our bed before, so this LOOKS like a first…I sure hope it is…because I don't recall you doing any laundry since you've lived here. And if I thought you let me sleep in the same sheets that you…I can't even look at you, you son of a bitch."

"It's not what you think, Shane." he said, calmly, as if he'd simply picked up the wrong consistency of peanut butter from the store. The wrong brand of milk. Not that he ever did the shopping.

"Bullshit. Bull. Shit. Elliott. I come home and find you like this, and there's a girl in OUR bedroom, and her lipstick is all over MY pillow, and your balls, no doubt. Not gonna make you prove it, because at this point, I don't give a shit anymore. I've lost count of how many times I've forgiven you, even times you didn't care enough to ask me to. Times you probably don't even know that I know about. But it's done. You're gonna pack up all your things. And you're gonna be gone by the time I get home from work tomorrow. And don't expect me to be late…because I will not be."

"You're acting crazy. You can't do this. Where will I go, Shane?"

"That's not my concern anymore. Find an apartment that accepts Likes and subscriptions and followers as rent and cherish it. But your free ride here is done. I'm not your mom, your maid, your cook, or…anything to you anymore, Elliott."

He was getting angry now. His nostrils flared and his breaths came more quickly.

"Is this because you're fucking another guy? Hmm?" he got in her space, but she was out of the bedroom and back into the hallway. She shouted back.

"Oh, NOW you're gonna try to deflect this onto me? When in holy hell would I have time to get with anyone but you, when we don't even have sex anymore?! It's been, what, two, three months?"

"You work with guys."

"You have no idea who I am. To think that I would do something like that. No idea at all. If I don't have time at home, I certainly don't have time for sex at work, and you can ask any of my coworkers, male OR female. That place is an unsexy, unholy shit show 90% of the time. And the other ten, it's just above bearable."

"Well, I'm still not going anywhere."

"You are. Like I said. You're not on the lease. And all I have to do is call the landlord and tell him you're here without my permission and he'll have the cops here." she had gotten a glass of water…although she needed something stronger, and was standing by the sink with it. Her mouth was getting dry. She couldn't take much more of this without breaking.

"You wouldn't really do that to me though. I'm the only man who can give you what you want." he grabbed her by the arm, hard.

"Let go of me, Elliott."

"Or what." he asked for it. She got the other instep, his groin, and threw water in his face. She grabbed her purse and bolted out the door.

She got quickly on the phone with Heather her closest friend who had recently been hired on as a secretary for her clinic.

"Yello." she said, cheerful.

"Two things: can I crash at your place tonight and what kind of phone do you have?" she asked.

"Yes and a Galaxy something, I dunno, but what the fresh hell are you talking about?"

"I'll explain when I get there. I’m on my way to CVS for some essentials. Do you need anything?"

"Sounds like we need wine and ice cream!"

"Already on the list." She thanked Heather and hung up, calling her landlord.

“This’s Sam.” She heard over the receiver.

“Sam, I’m sorry to bother you, but I have a situation at the house.”

“What’s goin’ on?” He asked concerned. She’d never rented from anyone so kind. He’d become almost family. Like an uncle.

“Long story short, pest control. I’m kicking Elliott out and he has until the time I get home from work tomorrow. I told him you’d be there with the cops if he didn’t comply because he’s not on the lease. Is there any way you can help me and make that good?”

“He hurt ya, Shane?”

“Not, umm…not physically.” Although she had been rubbing the place on her arm where he’d grabbed her, certain there would be a bruise.

“That’s all I need to know. I’ve got a buddy or two on the squad here in town. I’m sure they won’t mind to help me out. You need anything?”

She held back the tears until she could hang up. “I’m staying over at a friend’s tonight and headed into CVS now for a few things I didn’t take time to grab after I kneed him in the groin and ran out.” She had just pulled into the parking lot.

“Well I’m nearby if you need anything when you’re back home.”

“Thanks. I guess just watch for smoke from the place for now. I don’t know what he might do, honestly.”

Up Next: Prologue: Onset of Injury (Sy)

[dahniwitchoflight]

Homesquared Chapter 14

lol gotta love John’s enthusiasm of being part of the movers and shakers getting shot down cuz he hasn’t actually flexed his Main Character Muscles in quite a long time

though he’s honestly taking his mid life crisis very well all things considered, its good he cares more about his kids than anything else and I like the bond he’s getting to make with Harry, it’s nice!

Now what’s a million times funnier though is the same thing happening to Vriska, she is decidedly NOT taking her midlife “but but I want to be important too!!” crisis not nearly as well as John is haha

VRISSY: I guess you Did go Viral, 8ut the news moves so fast these days. I don’t think Any8ody is like...

VRISSY: Glued to their phones Waiting for your New Hashtag Resistance content.

Yeah Vriska, you’re so 15 minutes ago :P people have moved on

what, did you think you were going to be important forever?

VRISKA: What’s the point of me even coming to this shitty fake reality if I’m not supposed to fix it?

to have a mid life crisis about not being important anymore obviously :P

VRISSY: Yeah, they told me about That stuff, but a Lot of the Shit that Happened in the Session if just not in the History Books.

VRISSY: You weren’t Really mentioned that Much.

VRISKA: Excuse me?

I Am Living For This Whole Conversation

VRISKA: I SINGLE H8ND8DLY!

VRISKA: CURED YOUR MOTHER’S FUCKING ALCH8LISM!!!!!!!!

JOHN: uh, vriska, everything okay over there?

VRISKA: EVERYTHING’S FINE, J8HN!

JOHN: okay.

JOHN: do you girls want a snack?

ASJHGFSHFHWE yeah calm down Vriska have a snack 

ahh, loving it

Turns out, History is written by the people who were left who decided to give a damn about writing it, and if those people Don’t Like you, they can just decide to not mention you, no matter who you are or what you did

All your “important” accomplishments are for naught and have become meaningless because you’re an asshole and other people didn’t like you enough to decide that you mattered in the long run

Congrats! Infamy doesn’t matter as much as Connection

Aww, cute with Annie getting hug bombed by her moms

Though, Rose definitely has a stronger bond with Annie than just being her surrogate it looks like

I understand this family situation just fine, if Annie really was just supposed to be a way for Jade to overcome her lonliness, and Rose was her only functional way and only person she could approach with this idea, and Rose responded out of care for her friend

Rose, shouldn’t really have a distinct mom attachment here, because then it implies a stronger than platonic relationship with Jade

but it could just be a great example of “this is why you don’t agree to create a child with your friend purely because said friend was crying out of lonliness out of failed relationship and wanted a child to fill that void of lonliness but who then shoves said child off the sidelines and doesn’t interact with her at all and leaves her in the hands and care of a supposed enemy and

yknow, I think I’m just gonna stop there before I remember Jake also knew about Yiffany existing so if the only ones who didn't know were John/Dave/Karkat and Kanaya then what was honestly the point of hiding her in the first place

Its not the fact that Yiffany exists that Im finding hard to believe, its just hows she treated narratively after she started existing thats stretching my rubber band into a dangerous area

“ROSE: Is it the libidinous power rush that comes from snapping your fingers at men with guns, or are you worried that you might accidentally do something heroic?

(its the latter)

“She stopped thinking about how she would be received, and more about how she could play to the people she knew would receive her favorably.

Looking up she sees Tavvy with tears in his eyes. Rage and guilt surge inside her. This situation is not her fault.”

Gotta Justify It. Gotta Justify It.

Doesn’t matter if I’m Right or Wrong, if enough other people validate me than Everything is Fine and I’m a Good Person.

JANE: So before you accuse me, take a look at yourself!

JANE: I'm the only one who has taken any interest in her upbringing or education!

JANE: Or have you forgotten who has been paying for her schooling and taking charge of her introduction into society?

JADE: i never asked you to do that!

JADE: you offered!

Okay but Jade, you DID let Jane have Annie in the first place and then presumably washed your hands of her, when supposedly the only reason Annie exists is because you wanted a daughter with whom you could have a loving relationship with

You gotta, explain you’re thinking there Jade cuz I still don’t get this bit

Though in thinking about it, I think I know why this happened

Jade grew up isolated from any person, but still loved her grandfather, despite his absence

to her, family relationships didn’t involve any sort of personal work, they were just things she had because she had them

did she just believe the same would happen for Yiffanny? that she could paradoxically still have a relationship despite long absences? Annie doesn’t seem to have any resentment here for Jade or Rose so I mean ???

“ If they were to kill Tavros, the entire world would see them commit this war crime. And weighed in the balance, Lalonde and Harley would be off the playing board. Saving your daughter certainly counted as a heroic death, and with the damage they'd done to humanity, it would also probably be just. “

She hates them both so much she’d let Tavros die for it

But also, she really does calculate everything in terms of how the Masses would view their actions as Just or Heroic

so yeah, she was absolutely about to let Tavros die, damn Jane

literally the only thing that stopped you was that Jake viewed the threat as a real threat and was about to do something stupendously Heroic to save Tavros and you decided you didn’t want Jake to die a heroic death

On the flipside, oh damn, Yeah Vriska’s going full throttle right on the nose ahead with the obvious audience expectation, that there gonna make another sburb session and get the obvious group of important 4 kids to god tier

that’s clearly the path vriska wants and expects, but hey, just imagine if what Vriska wanted to happen didn’t happen this time, imagine if the kids were just like “nah im good?” when it comes to a god tier

The narrative is making it super clear that at least 3 out 4 kids are kinda not feeling all the outdoorsy action and excitement of a game of life and death

Annie though I could hella see her down to play sburb and get a god tier, shes got that whole “isolated childhood trauma and parental issues pressure cooking her a strong will to take her life into her own hands” energy

Vriska, go see Annie, her strong willed butt is more of the action girl you’re looking for I think

At least if they do end up playing the game and getting the tiger, Annie feels like the first one to do it or the action catalyst of their session, like how Vriska was for hers, or Dirk for the alphas, or

hmm. who was is that kinda, moved things along for the Beta’s again? I think it was Rose, but Dave did a ton to move things along as well, but also their trolls like Terezi and them gave everything big nudges, I think Rose counts as the equivalent Beta in session mover and shaker though

Side note: the panels with vrissy and vriska here very feel cartoonish and light hearted, interesting choice

but it does give off Major “Play Game: Level 1″ vibes if that makes sense

What the fuck is with the Dave Soldiers

I mean, they look more like Red Johns?Jakes? with the black hair

the glasses throw me off though-

UHH DID THEY JUST FUCKING KILL HARRY ANDERSON??

HOLD ON. HOLD UP

TAVROS AND ANNIE: WITH ROSE/JADE/JAKE/JANE

VRISSY: WITH VRISKA DOWN BELOW

HARRY: WITH JOHN. ON JOHN’S COUCH.

JOHN IS ALSO STILL HERE, MEANING HARRY SHOULD BE WITH HIM.

yeah he literally just went outside for a second to see where the V’s went and then the house gets bombed, and we get three whole panels dedicated to John slowly sitting down in the wreckage

Harry Anderson just got fucking killed holy shit.

oh my god, they were leading up to it too.

We just had three seperate death flags for the other 3 kids in a row

Brain Ghost Dirk warned Jake that Annie was gonna die via electrocution unless he stepped up

Jane was gonna let Tavros die vie neck snapping (even though Kanaya really wouldn’t have)

Vriska and Vrissy discuss god tiering, and what it would mean for Vrissy, death is a subtle implication there but still there

Now to see if Jane’s ever revived Harry Anderson before in the next update I suppose :o

*edit*

They did not kill Harry Anderson, I saw pumpkins in front of the house that got exploded and didn’t see it looks different than the other bland white suburban house that John actually left, so no one died, Harry just got his implied death threat turn

Harry is at Roxy’s House, John sits in the smoldering ashes of his childhood home, languishing in the idea that Jane, the girl who might have in another reality been his loving grandmother, actually wants him and his kids dead for realsies

he never really got to sit and think about the hole where his home was that the meteor struck when he entered sburb huh? (I know his house came with him, giving the allusion all was well in the Medium, but a real meteor still struck the place that he stopped existing on OG Earth, to an outside observer, it would look like a meteor destroyed his home)

with Vriska talking about sburb to Vrissy, it is nice imagery to imagine the implications of the Kids god tiering from Earth C

and the destruction left in their wake

[kyogre-blue]

Naruto Shippuden, ep 494-500

IT’S OVER

Jokes aside, the fillers that come after the Sasuke v Naruto battle are basically near worthless and don’t really add anything to the series. It would have been better off ending there. This last batch regarding the NH wedding are especially bad because they have... nothing to say, frankly, but I guess they really, really wanted to end on a round number. 

494: 

Sadoru-sensei, a new instructor at the Academy. 

Konohamaru doesn’t look anything like himself. I only know it’s him because of his verbal tic. 

Nobody in Kakashi’s age group has kids except Kurenai and it’s... both funny and ridiculous. We can shove Kiba and Chouji into totally random relationships (note that Chouji is still single when NH marry, but their kids are the same age), but we’ll be damned if Iruka dates anyone ever. 

Iruka is offered the position of vice principal. Since like so many things in this filler, there was a bunch of back and forth about whether he’d take the... examination(???)... I don’t remember the final outcome. 

For some reason, Naruto needs “auspicious news” on his wedding day...???

Iruka got a lot paler, for some reason. 

Kakashi addresses what is implied to be... either all the shinobi in Konoha or all the jounin, and calling it a few hundred is a stretch. The size of this village will never make sense. 

So the main conceit of this filler is that Naruto and Hinata are friends with basically EVERY jounin in Konoha, and everyone wants to attend their wedding. But someone needs to remain on duty for missions and internal duties. Kakashi decides to follow some bizarre old procedure which grades presents to see who can attend... and includes NH’s close friends in this. Instead of just... excluding their teammates and actual friends, like a sane person would. Or are we supposed to believe that Naruto will be heartbroken if random extra #56 can’t attend but who cares if Sakura can come? 

The whole thing is pretty dumb, but the presents everyone gets are also rather bad. They spend a lot of time discussing needing to think about what Naruto and Hinata would like and then they get random stuff that is either totally generic or else is related to their own interests instead. If you look at the presents, none of them really show any deep friendship at all lmao. 

495: 

Konorin, the unofficial village mascot

The animation is kind of off the entire filler, but it’s particularly bad this episode. 

There is so much Orochimaru. He’s all over the place all throughout. I will never accept criticism about letting my biased faves live through the war and not give any fucks about redemption or whatever. Because canon obviously doesn’t care about that stuff either. lol @ Sasuke and his travels, but Orochimaru is different. 

496: 

Satocho, a super fancy teahouse that VIPs like the Hokage go to. 

I’m not sure who is done dirtier by this take on Shikatema. 

497: 

Kumo is proud of their sake, beef and also games(?). I really kind of wonder if they mean Lightning Country as a whole, or if the ninja village in the mountains is somehow raising cows. 

They grow flowers in Suna? Also, are proud of their... bluefin tuna? And sweets. 

Hidden Sand Samba....

I’m still not over how the next set of Kage are just... the only named young characters from their villages, for Iwa and Kiri. I think Darui at least did have something going on in the war, though I’ve completely forgotten what his deal was. But Kurotsuchi? The glasses kid?? How and why are they Kage material... 

I still don’t like the new elastic headbands. They just look dumb. 

498: 

Mirai calls them “Akakiba” and “Kibamaru.” Cute. 

Senju gave honey wine as a wedding gift. It can be used for cooking or as a medicinal tonic. It can be acquired from a beekeeper in Sora-ku. 

Kiba meets Tamaki at this point and apparently falls in love at first sight... 

Kiba still goes on about becoming Hokage. He’s a joke, but Naruto and Obito have a profound connection because of their shared dream, sure. 

Shino starts considering becoming a teacher after this episode. 

499: 

Iruka has this ongoing thread that seems to amount to “I feel more for Naruto than my other students, I wonder what it could be.” Which is... certainly something, especially combined with his other stuff about wondering whether he even knows Naruto these days. I never really understood why the series insists on making sure its relationships are as limited as possible (and then has to retcon them to be more meaningful in dumb ways because, oh, it turns out it needs those relationships after all). 

Hinata cries because their wedding is causing trouble for others. 

500: 

Obsession with pain one more time for the road. 

Iruka can’t cook. 

Why is Iruka so mad here? He’s very annoying this time, berating Naruto harshly out of nowhere. 

Naruto’s request for Iruka is weird since Naruto met and bonded with Minato already. Asking Iruka to attend as family I could understand, but specifically as his father? Especially since Iruka, as we see, was absolutely NOT that close to Naruto. 

Sasuke not even coming to the wedding is such a mess. 

The last thing in Naruto is a commercial for Boruto :)

I’M FREE

[lannister-slings-and-arrows]

Okay fam, which character would you want to be stuck in isolation with?

Jesus WHY do you keep DOING this to me lol. U G H.

Ok

Not Max Phillips bc while I am experienced at having doctors steal crap tons of blood from me frequently I have a feeling that even I could not survive being a vampire’s only food source for an indefinite period of time lol. Sorry bud.

Not Din bc listen, I love him, he’s soft and sweet and honorable and just a really stand up person but oh my actual god I think if I were stuck in a room without seeing his face OR speaking for weeks I would kill him and then myself. It would honestly be preferable to be quarantined alone lol.

Not Maxwell bc I have a sneaking suspicion that we have VASTLY different politics and if I’m going to be stuck with someone that’s gonna come up eventually and he doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy who’s up for a little spirited debate.

Not Tovar bc frankly we would butt heads. Like he’s the talkative, grumbly kind of surly and I am the silent seething kind and I see that not ending well for either of us. We would either kill each other or spend the entire time having hate sex and frankly both of those options are likely to end in bloodshed so let’s just nip that in the bud lol.

Not Catfish I think bc I don’t see him being trapped indoors in one space very well. He strikes me as a kind of army Luke Danes and just. I am not normally really great at dealing with other people’s anxieties and stresses (tbf I have difficulty enough dealing with my own lol) and he really deserves someone who wouldn’t be constantly snapping at him to sit down and stop pacing.

Ok now we reach the really tough ones and the ones I seriously hate you for lol.

I would have FUN trapped with Whiskey ok. Like sex fun, normal fun, EVERY kind of fun. I bet you five dollars that he knows every kind of word game or road trip game and knows how to make ‘em dirty too. Boy is a cuddler so we could occupy quite a bit of time that way. I know that boy cooks and so do I do THAT would be fun- comparing recipes and what have you. Do not get me started on how much fun I would have just making him say stuff in that accent of his lol. And have I mentioned the sex? Bc there would be a lot of it and it would be Good. (Plus I would finally get to try on that fucking cowboy hat and just *shivers*) He also is sturdy enough to handle my moods and fits of pique- I can see him raising an eyebrow and asking calmly if I’m done.

Same with Ezra- he’d be fun too! He’s well spoken so I assume he’s well read, and I can have conversations about books for EVER. He also strikes me as the type to enjoy a good debate which I happen to love. An that man is a NAPPER which is probably my favorite activity only behind reading and MAYBE eating. (But honestly napping probably beats eating lol) Ezra also seems tough enough to handle me flying off the handle every once in a while, though I could see that sometimes his extra calm demeanor might make my temper worse. Plus also man has a dom streak a mile wide which I would ENJOY.

Ok honestly I’m having a hard time thinking of any reasons why Oberyn WOULDN’T be perfect. The man has been everywhere, done everything and everyone. It’s not like you would run out of things to discuss or ways to screw each other. My favorite part of college was literally just sitting in a lecture and having someone talk at me about something for hours and I think that is something he would most certainly be able to do well. Also he comes with Ellaria, so the sex would be doubly as fantastic- it can be imaginative with two but down right inventive with three you know? Ok hang on wait, no I’m crossing him out. This man would be worse than Fish about being cooped up, except I can see him turning a little vicious about it. And we would probably end up hating each other after. Ok he’s out too.

Javier and I are nearly identical in temperament which is why I can see this going with swimmingly or see us slaughter each other within the first three hours. We are both of the seething kind of surly temperament which means we at least won’t be muttering and getting on each other’s nerves that way. He would know that silence doesn’t always have to be broken. But also I can see him really getting into a screaming match and not take it personally- sometimes you just need to shout at someone and have them shout back. I mean it goes without saying that the sex would be baller and we both have a quiet need to cuddle and never acknowledge that that is what we are doing so that works out. I foresee problems with us sarcastically picking each other apart though- being the same isn’t always a good thing, it might be like being cooped up with a carbon copy of myself and honestly doesn’t that sound horrifying.

So we’re down to Ezra, Javi, and Whiskey. Alright, I’m eliminating Javi due to the potential for actual violence. And I think I’m going to eliminate Ezra purely for the fact that he’s a smart guy, we would be talking and debating and I have an unfortunate tendency towards competitiveness and I could see that streak in me getting VERY much out of hand when I came up against an opponent like him. So Whiskey. Finally, after much deliberation, I would like to be quarantined with Whiskey and I think you’re an awful friend that you would even ask me such a question lol

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #280

“this is the place in our mind with a crooked crown / we came to execute its own perfect shutdown”

Do you have a strong local accent? No. Do you prefer green or red grapes? Red, but either is fine so long as they’re crisp. Can you stand on your hands unassisted? pffff Who was the last person to knock/ring at your door? Pizza guy. How old were you when you last went trick or treating? No idea. Have you ever been bobbing for apples? ”No. That’s a gross game lol you’re dipping your head and mouth into water other people are dipping their head and mouth into.” <<<< This. What’s your most expensive piece of clothing? No clue. What’s the last thing you took a picture of? Guys I actually took a selfie bc for once in my goddamn life, I felt really pretty with the makeup Summer did on me. She's working towards a degree in cosmetology and is so talented with it. What’s the last thing you drew a picture of? A meerkat pup. Have you ever been on a pogo stick? Omg, yes. I got one for I think Christmas one year as a kid and I got SO into it. I learned how to do it really well. Can you down a pint (of anything) in one? Probably not without throwing up. Have you ever been banned from a public place? No. Have you ever been in a newspaper? A couple times, I think. I know once in elementary school for when I was in chorus; we went somewhere for a small Christmas show. Then I believe I was in it for another school thing? Idr. What football team do you support? I don’t care for football or sports in general. What did you want to be when you grew up? My phases included paleontologist, vet, movie director, author, game designer, aaaand I know I’m forgetting one. But my current and long-term goal has been to become a photographer. Being an artist as a free time “job” has always been an aspiration, too. Have you ever tie-dyed your own clothes? In school, yeah. How often do you buy new clothes? Very rarely. Usually just around Christmas or my birthday from gift cards I get. Are you reliable? In some ways yes, in other ways no. Are you proud of yourself? No. If you could ask your future self one question what would it be? If she’s ended up happy. Do you hold grudges? Nah. Do you decorate the outside of your house for Christmas? Mom does pretty much last minute, but only sometimes when looking at the past few years. Can you solve sudoku puzzles? Sure, they’re fun. What’s the most unusual conversation you've ever had? Who knows. Are you much of a gambler? Not at all. I don’t fuck around with money, especially when just $5 makes you feel great. Have you ever been to Disneyland? I’ve been to Disney World. Do you sing in the shower? Very rarely. Almost never now that I don’t play music while I’m in there. As a child did you ever suck your thumb or fingers? I mean probably? I do know I loved my pacifier and was SO upset when Mom’s doctor or someone playfully told me I was gonna have to give it up because my upcoming baby sister would want to steal it, and guess what? Nicole never fucking used a pacifier so I was tilted lmao. What time do you usually go to bed? Lol BRO it can be as early as 7 PM on bad depression days to as late as like, 2-3 AM. I’d say the average time is like… 9:30. What's your favorite animal? MEERKATS hngggggggggggggggg Have you ever been in marching band? No. Do you have any enemies? No? At least I don’t consider anyone to be. Have you ever been a cheerleader? As a kid, Mom wanted me to so I could do something with my sisters, who were actually interested in cheerleading. She certainly didn’t force me to or anything, I just agreed to it despite not being into it. We were with this Christian sports group for a long time doing various sports all the while being taught lessons in Christlikeness. I’ve actually got warm memories of it Did you ever date anyone on the football team? No. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No, not that I’m against the idea tho. The plushy would just have to be very special to me and also comfortable to hold. How many consecutive days have you ever missed of school? I missed an entire week when I learned about Mom’s cancer. I could barely function. With how much school stressed me, I would NOT have managed. Have you ever been pregnant? No, not in my to-do list. When was the last time you wanted to speak out, but couldn’t? I’m sure it was recently over Facebook; most times, I keep my mouth shut over political things on there that might get me fired up because I’m afraid of confrontation. Are fingerless gloves awesome? I love them. Wore them daily in high school. I still have some of my favorites, though I’m doubtful they still fit my hands… Would you rather be cannibalistic or die in the wilderness? Okay so I’m gonna actually go kinda in-detail, so the squeamish be warned. Realistically, I think I’d choose to die. ESPECIALLY if I was the one expected to kill another person; then, there’s no question. I wouldn’t be able to do it either if I knew the person. If it was some stranger someone else killed and cooked, I don’t know with absolute certainty; starvation really can make animals out of people. I do know for sure I’d vomit. I far more heavily lean into still preferring to die, because I just believe some things aren’t worth living after they’ve been committed. I’d hate myself. I’d rather die feeling clean of conscience. Would you survive on a deserted island? Hell no. Have you dyed your hair eccentric colors in the past? Yeah, I want to do it far more often… What size drink do you usually get at fast food restaurants? Medium, sometimes small. What do you think is the best thing in life? Love, both platonic and romantic. Have you ever sold anything online either on Craigslist, eBay, Amazon, etc.? If not, what is your website of choice like any of the above for buying things? We sold our previous dog over Craigslist, and I sold my iguana there as well. I know Mom has used eBay and Amazon, but idk for what. Have you ever seen an animal give birth? Have you ever had a pet give birth before? I’ve seen old pet cats give birth many times. What is something you want to try to accomplish within the next year? I want a job that I’m content with and can mentally handle. Oh, and I REALLY want to make strong progress on recovering from the muscle atrophy in my legs. What’s the most unusual kind of pizza you’ve ever tried? I have no clue; I’m not that adventurous with pizza or food in general. If you were given the chance to decorate an entire house the way you wanted, with no limit to cost, how would you decorate it? GOTHIC AS A MOTHERFUCKER WELCOME TO THE GOTDAMN ADDAMS FAMILY. What’s one of your favorite things to touch/feel? My cat. :’) How often do you wear tights? Ew, never. Has there ever been anything you’ve become interested in much later than other people? I guess Instagram, but only as a viewer. I don’t have a personal one, just for my photography that I only rarely post. Have you ever had a veggie burger? Yeah, during my vegetarian streak. Burger King’s really aren’t that bad so long as the patty is made well. Do you like candles? Yeah, sure. When was the last time you wore a sports bra? Forever ago when I was doing Wii Fit. Where did you get the shirt you’re currently wearing? I think Hot Topic? It’s an oversized Umbreon shirt. Who last messaged you on Facebook? My friend Summer when we were planning our lil witch photoshoot w/ friends. Who last walked you home? lol you don’t just have someone “walk you home” here. Bundles of homes are way too far and in-between for reasonable walking distance. Did you make any new friends lately? If so, what are their names and how did you meet them? Not really recently, no. Would you rather see your favorite band/artist in concert with 2 other people or have a free $20,000 shopping spree to Walmart? Seeing Ozzy with my mom would be a DREAM, but to be realistic, I’d take the shopping spree pretty damn quickly. $20k? That would do WONDERS for us, especially as we’re about to move into a new place. When was the last time you threw up and why did you? A long time ago when I started a new medication. Do you want revenge on the person who has hurt you the most? … I’m gonna be REAL honest. For the most part, no. But ngl there are times I’m like “I’m gonna work on getting back in shape and become H O T” like a petty bitch lmao this is embarrassing to admit. Has anyone ever claimed that you saved their life? Yes. Did you ever have that near-drowning experience? No. Have you ever performed on stage? For dance, yes, but I never did a solo. Are you a jealous person? Not jealous (usually), but I’ve come to realize I’m a pretty envious piece of shit. Morning person or night person? I’m in my best mood in the morning because I have the “it’s a fresh start” ideology. Then I repeat exactly what I did the day before. :^) Have you ever written a poem for someone? Numerous times. Do you meditate? No, but I wish I could without it only causing more stress. Do you like cranberries that they serve for Thanksgiving? EW I hate cranberries. What don't you understand that frustrates you? Finances. Do you plan on going to college? I’ve tried college three times and dropped out each time. I’m done trying with school. Do you believe the governments hide technology and information from the public? AbsoFUCKINGlutely. Which is your favorite Pokemon? Ninetales! What horror fiction character scares you the most? What’s the name of the villain in the Scream series? Ghostface? I don’t feel like looking it up, but he TERRIFIED me as a kid, and I still think he’s mega creepy. Were you part of the Brownies/Cubs/Scouts/Guides etc? I was in Girl Scouts. Have you ever invented a fairly unique meal or drink? No. Do you have any family secrets? Don’t think so. Do you often read your horoscope? Never. They’re bullshit. Have you ever had a proper Tarot reading? No; also bullshit. Have you ever milked a cow? No. Do you love or hate rollercoasters? They’ve always scared me because I’m afraid of throwing up. Now with how dizzy I get, I absolutely refuse to try one because I WILL faint with all the movement. What’s your favorite sportswear brand? idc Who’s your favorite superhero? Does Deadpool count? Who’s your favorite villain/baddie? If we’re still in the comics/superhero universe, the Joker. Have you ever won a giant-sized cuddly toy from a fair? No. What would you say is your favorite album of all time? Black Rain by Ozzy Osbourne. I fucking adore it; it was my introduction to metal, and still after all this time, every track S L A P S. I deadass played that CD so much that it scratches at a few points. Do you dislike hairy people? lol fuck this question. I’m guessing you’re asking if I find them attractive and not as if people I “dislike” them, but in both cases, it’s no. We’re mammals, who the fuck cares how hairy you are. Do you like your own name? I actually do really like my name. My first one, anyway. Would you ever sign a Prenuptial agreement? NOPE. Want one? You’re gonna have to find someone else willing to, my man. How long has your longest ever phone call been? No less than two hours, but I know more. I have three instances in particular where I talked with either friends or Jason for SO long. Could you ever have an affair with a married person? Hell no. What is your family Christmas like? Nicole comes here so she and I open presents with Mom, then we spend the day at my older sister’s to be with the kids. We also try to squeeze visiting Dad in there the same day, but sometimes it has to be a different one. If you met a genie who offered you three wishes, what would you wish for? (more wishes does not count) Just three is hard… but #1 is indisputably world peace, and then uhhhh the end of poverty and maybe the cure for cancer. I’d have a super hard time picking a third; so many things matter to me. Have you ever had your national flag painted on your face? No, not in my plans. Do you have any strange body things? Well, define “strange,” I guess? Nothing like, really strange. What fairy tale character would you most associate with? Can I be Snow White and attract cute critters like moths to a flame? Also I would 100% take a Good apple. If a loved one was to serenade you, what song would you most like them to sing? It would depend on the person and our bond, really. Is there a cherished song between us? What is our relationship like? There’s no umbrella song I can think of. Is your dad an embarrassing dancer? GUYS!!!!!!!!!!! My sister’s wedding, okay? Father/daughter dance? He actually has MOVES and it was incredible man, never gonna forget that. What if any unusual objects have you swallowed? Nothing, I think. If you were stinking rich, would you only go to places other rich people went? Hell naw, man. There are plenty of great, affordable places in all categories. I could be a millionaire and you’d still see my ass in McDonald’s ordering a burger and fries lmao. Have you ever owned a slinky? My sisters and I had multiple as kids; those were d o p e. Teenage parents, good, bad, or indifferent? An AWFUL idea. A teenager is physically, most likely financially, and mentally unprepared to raise a child properly. It can seriously affect the kid, and of course the parent. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever broken? I’m unsure. Pirate downloads, good or bad? It’s bad… yet plenty (myself included) have/do do it. Democracy, good or bad? Good. It’s very important to me that rule should come from the people’s majority versus a small coalition of rich guys. While the majority is not always right, it seems like the best option to me. Communism, good or bad? Okay so to be totally honest I actually don’t entirely understand what communism outlines. Like I just read multiple definitions and small articles and I’m still kinda like “????”, though judging by the countries listed as those governed by communism, I would guess it’s bad? Have you ever been electrocuted? On an electric fence, but it wasn’t too bad. Have you ever been hit on by someone of the same gender? Yeah. The war in Iraq, good or bad? Get the fuck out of it. To start with, I’m a pretty fierce pacifist, and just… killing and killing and killing for YEARS is so goddamn pointless and is just a massacre. The war in Afganistan, good or bad? jfc ^ Have you ever appeared on YouTube? LET’S NEVER TALK ABOUT THIS lmfao Have you ever eaten anything prepared by a celebrity chef? No,, but that’d be dope. Have you ever been on radio? No. Do you prefer male or female singers voices? ”Their gender doesn’t matter, but their talent does.” <<<< Do you have a list of things to do before your ‘x’ years old? Goals should not be judged by age. I’m bad at this and have to remind myself of it a lot. A goal is a goal regardless of a number. Celebrate for *you*. Are you proud, comfortable or ashamed of your body? Very very much ashamed. Do you know html? Super poorly. Have you ever flown first class? lol hunny What are better, violins or pianos? Violins. How old is your oldest blanket? As old as me. My baby blanket is stored somewhere. Do you take enough vacations? lol hell no. I’ve maybe gone on three vacations in my entire life. Have you ever been sick on your birthday? Yup. Then one time I was recovering from a wicked stomach virus but went to Olive Garden anyway lol. I was fine though, and it’s actually a sweet memory because Jason (he worked there at the time) got the staff to do the whole “happy birthday” thing. I got a bombin’ brownie. Who is your favorite person? Sara and my mom. What do you do to stay healthy? lol you assume I’m healthy. What is your favorite form of exercise? Swimming. Do you like going to church? I never did. As a kid, I would cry when/if Mom decided we were going to mass after Sunday school lmao. It’s always been boring and too long to me, even when I was religious. Have you ever fallen asleep during a sermon? Probably as a kid. Do you like to pray for others? No. I don’t believe anyone hears them or will intervene somehow if I ask anyway. Have you ever witnessed a miracle? No. I don’t think I believe in those anyway. Have you ever been the recipient of a miracle? Definitely not. How did you or whoever come up with the name(s) for your pet(s)? I thought “Roman” was a majestic name for a male cat, and Venus has the coloration that the planet does. Who did you last walk a dog with? Sara and I walked Buster the last time I was there. It was windy as SHIT so we didn’t get far because my ass was absolutely freezing, all the while Sara was used to it. Ride bikes with? Wow, good question. I haven’t ridden a bike in many, many years. Hold hands with? My friend Summer did yesterday when she was trying to reassure me of something. For what reason did you last high five someone? Ryder and Aubree each caught Pokemon in Pokemon GO. :’’’’) I was watching them in the car while my sister/their mom was doing something at work, and they wanted to play it; they’ve come to learn that between my phone and DS, I’m the Pokemon provider, lol. I was the proudest fucking aunt ever bc they did SO GOOD after getting the hang of throwing the ball like Y’ALL. When Ash came back to the car, I gave ‘em each high fives before getting back in. What color and type is your vehicle? Don’t have my own car. Looking to upgrade or add any time soon? I doubt I’ll have my own soon. What animal do you have the most possessions *of*, or featuring? Like, décor or stuffed animals, things like that? Not the actual living creature? Easily meerkats, holy shit do I have a collection. What do you use to wash your dishes? Gain soap. Last thing you measured? Uhhh idk. Last thing you weighed? Myself. Last song you danced to? *shrug* What do you remember from your dream last night? I just remember it was a nightmare about Dad being angry. How old were you when you got your first credit card? Lol I don’t have one. Do you talk to your parent(s) [almost] every day? Mom, yes. Dad, no, because we don’t live together. What does your shampoo and conditioner smell like? I just started using a Dove brand shampoo targeting dandruff, so I don’t think it has a specific smell. I don’t use conditioner, just adds grease to your hair, plus mine is short anyway. Last person to tell you that you smell good? Idk. Last person you told that they smell good? I also don’t know. If you smoke marijuana, what is your preferred or typical method? I’ve never touched it. Last person you ran into unexpectedly? Ummm idr. How many plants can you see right now? There’re none in my room. Last compliment you received on your appearance? HA On your character/personality? That I was a loving sister. Do you remain friends with anyone you met at your first job? N/A Who have you hugged in the past month? My mom, Summer, sisters, niece and nephew, Dad… Newest musical discovery? 3TEETH is great. Like, I'm obsessed. Their cover of “Pumped Up Kicks” snagged my attention, despite actually being iffy about it at first. Guess what I’m listening to this minute lmao. Last thing you cleaned? A cup. What exactly do you carry around all your stuff in? A purse. What do you carry around, typically? Phone, keys, wallet, hand sanitizer, and my iPod are items of note. Where is your newest scar? It’s on the palm of my left hand from Roman playing with me. Where is your oldest scar? Idk. Last thing you disposed of? The milk carton. What was the last picture someone sent you? Mom sent me a gif from Hocus Pocus to fit the witch photoshoot Summer, her friend, and I did. Did you hear a siren today? No. What do you typically drink? I would rather not pretend I tend to drink soda lmao Last bad news you heard? My aunt’s brother committed suicide a couple days ago. Last good news you heard? I don’t really know. How far away is the closest cinema from your house? It’s like, 15-ish minutes away. Have you ever been to the emergency room? Many times. Are you one of those people who can’t go without their morning coffee? Y’all know me and coffee. But in place, I have my morning Mountain Dew, rip in fucking pieces. Have you ever worn fake eyelashes? No, though I’m honestly curious what I’d look like. Do you know the story of how your parents met? If so, tell me? They were coworkers; that’s all I know. What is your favorite Chinese food? I love pork fried rice. Do you live far from your parents? I live with my Mom. I live around 20 minutes or so away from Dad. What was the last hot food you ate? I’m assuming you mean spicy as opposed to just hot as in temperature. In that case, probably hot wings. Have you ever seen a meteor shower? No. Describe your current position: I’m lying down in bed, just kinda perked up by my two pillows. Have you used a microwave today? Yes; I had a Jimmy Dean breakfast bowl. Do you prefer going out for coffee or brewing your own? N/A Have you consumed caffeine today? If so, in what form? yikes- Do you know anyone who follows a raw vegan diet and lifestyle? Not that I know of. Have you killed a bug this week? Yes; we’re dealing with a lovely mix of gnats and fleas. What was the first food you learned how to cook? Scrambled eggs. Or maybe pancakes with Mom’s assistance. Idr. Do you have a Bachelor’s degree? If so, what in? No. How many email accounts do you have? Two. Can you go see a doctor alone or do you like to take someone with you? I like my mom to be with me. How long is your average shower? 15 minutes, maybe? It depends on the routine I feel like doing. When’s the last time you had a headache? Yesterday. What woke you up this morning? I think I woke up naturally? A rare occasion nowadays. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Summer, yesterday.

[gay4eraser]

For big baby boy Brad! 1-10, because childhood is important, 12,13, 15, 18, 21, 26, 31, 42, and 49!

my braddy boi!!!! thanks bb!!!! a note that Brad is somewhat a co-created character between me and blop at this point

Bnha Brad Boi content under readmore!!! 

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

Brad Bartholomew Jenkins. His name was literally chosen as a placeholder name and then we just Liked it and he stayed a Brad

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them? 

Does Zookeeper count??? In bnha universe he was a zookeeper who was eventually hired on in All Might’s Lost&Found Shelter and Educational Center to take care of exotic animals, since he can communicate with them. 

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory? 

Brad had a very distant childhood. His family was huge and not very well off, and he had to grow up fast to help take care of a lot of siblings and cousins. He does have a lot of good memories though! ...mostly of being the one delegated to taking care of all the family pets, which while kind of bad overall, he considered a huge plus. 

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents? 

Brad knew both parents but they were often tired, overworked, and rarely saw him. They didn’t really understand their son’s quirk and how it worked and so everyone in the family thought his quirk was weird and made him go a bit crazy. 

Brad has fond memories of family gatherings, full of people, never being alone. He has fond memories of never EVER being alone because being surrounded by people was just as nice as being surrounded by animals, and he was always with one or the other. 

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults? 

He has lots of siblings! All of which I have not named in the slightest. Brad is the oldest and he’s always been a loner type simply because people find it weird that he considers animals perfectly acceptable company. He also took a job ASAP to help support his family so his siblings never saw much of him. They all think he’s kind of stuck up. 

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate? 

Brad loves the sciences! He’s pretty good at them too, though he’s very absent minded in school unless it’s a special interest like his animals. His school tried to get him to join sports so many times he doesn’t much care for sports anymore 

Have I mentioned he grows up to be 7′2″ 

In high school he hit 6 feet tall and kept going up from there 

He’s also really, really bad at math. 

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood? 

Brad had a ton of friends as a kid! As weird as he is, he makes friends pretty easily. None of them were super close, but that was fine enough for him, he certainly didn’t care lol. He didn’t have time for friends really outside of work but everyone there loves the shit out of him and he has an extremely friendly and open demeanor. A lot of old friends honestly just went to the zoo to say hi to him.

When he moved to Japan a lot of people were really sad to see him go, though he was generally unaware of it 

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals? 

Brad doesn’t consider them pets he considers them his best friends, thank you 

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals? 

His entire quirk revolves around animals, calming animals down, and slowly influencing the intelligence of animals. He Loves Them So Much. He will talk about them or TO them for fucking hours on end and infodumps about them at the slightest opportunity. He’ll destroy you if you try to spread false information about animals.

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect? 

Ehhhhh Brad’s too.. earnest for most children. He also tends to lose his temper with them easily. Animals need to be treated with kindness and respect and if a child taps on the fucking glass ONE MORE TIME- 

He’s nearly lost it towards kids several times and only timely intervention by coworkers has saved his job. Kids can be kind and innocent, and he loves those kinds of kids, but he has No tolerance for shitty kids. Kids who respect him and his animals however, he’s a great babysitter for, as long as the kids are fairly self-sufficient and don’t mind being forgotten in favor of the cockroach exhibit needing to be fed again. 

12. What is their favourite food? 

Boi loves himself some granola bars, he’ll chow down all day. In general snack and convenience food he loves

13. What is their least favourite food?

He can’t eat anything that resembles the animal it came from. Whole roasted chickens? He’ll cry over

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

He can put sandwiches together and basic foods, but he’s not too good on cooking. Mostly just good enough to not starve. Everyone appreciates his efforts

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

Get him a documentary and a laptop for fact checking and this boy is set for Hours of entertainment. He also religiously follows animal birthing livestreams and has vines of cute animals doing silly things on a playlist. He also watches terrifying shows like Eaten Alive and will chatter happily about the parasites transferred through eating infected, improperly cooked fish during dinner and make his sigfigs hurl 

Also survivalist shows, anything in nature really. He’s not huge on video games because his hands are too big and it makes him a bit clumsy. He’s cried during every sad dog movie that ever existed. 

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

Like mentioned earlier he has No tolerance for stupidity towards his animals, but otherwise he’s very easy going and generally just super chill. It’s hard to get a rise out of him. 

When he does get angry he unconsciously squares his huge ass shoulders and tenses up and straightens up alllll the way and that’s usually when his gentle giant aesthetic falls away and people suddenly realize. This guy. Lifts animals bigger than them. Without breaking a sweat. He’s stronk from sheer daily working like a bear. 

He’s very, very terrifying when he’s angry but all he’s gonna do is lecture you furiously and physically pick you up and remove you from wherever your offense is. (The worst he’s ever done is physically THROWING Asshat from his zoo) 

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

Brad chatters excitedly yet peacefully when he’s happy! To people, to animals, to himself, doesn’t matter, he’ll talk out loud to anyone. 

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

Brad doesn’t much drink? He’s into biology, so he’s Very Aware that alcohol is technically just poisoning your body. Also, he’s slightly afraid because when he gets tipsy (the most he’s ever gotten) he gets clumsy and hella  uncoordinated, which is dangerous when ur so big. He doesn’t wanna hurt anyone

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

Brad’s a simple guy, give him an animal and a job with them and he’s Solid. Doesn’t have any goal other than to keep supporting his family. He sends them checks whenever possible. 

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

Brad’s TERRIBLY sentimental but he doesn’t have the space for all the stuff he wants to have. He also is something of a minimalist otherwise so while he loves the value in items he’s probably not going to keep it. He DOES have a wall covered in Important Pictures printed out and taped on! Most are of animals. 

[mad-madam-m]

So I'm just curious, how do you get yourself to write? And do you use prompts and if you do where do you get them? I meant to use NaNo to get me to write but it took 4 days into November for me to realize November started so I failed lol. I've been meaning to start this original thing and it's just not...working.

First of all, anon, you could start writing RIGHT NOW (yes, with 10 days left in the month) and you would not fail NaNo. You might not hit 50k (although I know people who have hit 50k in that amount of time, or less), but you won’t fail. NaNoWriMo isn’t about hitting 50,000 words so much as it is about putting a stake in the ground and saying, “Here. Today. I will start writing the project I’ve always wanted to.” And doing it. Doesn’t matter what that project is—original novel, short stories, fic, poetry, revising something, a series of blog posts—NaNo is about just. Fucking. Doing it. And you still have time to Do It.

To answer your questions:

Do you use prompts and if you do, where do you get them?

For original stories, particularly novels, I usually don’t. For fic, particularly short fic I’m writing for events, I do. Tumblr has a wealth of writing prompts that range from “here’s a situation” to “here’s a line of dialogue GO,” and I tend to reblog them under the tags “fic prompts” or “writing prompts.” Honestly, most of them would work for either original fic or fanfic, so if you are a writer who likes to work from prompts, go forth and enjoy!

How do you get yourself to write?

That’s kind of a big question, and uh, the answer to it got long. Very long. (I said once that if you give me half a chance, I’ll talk about writing all the live-long day, and this answer is no exception.)

Different things motivate me for different projects, and as with all writing-related advice, YMMV, but here’s a few things that really help for getting myself to write:

1) Develop your story.

The current original story I’m working on, for example, I have not really had to struggle to get myself to write at all because 1) I’m stupid excited about it and 2) I have developed the hell out of it.

I’ve talked before about outlining my stuff here, so I won’t go too much into it again; suffice it to say that I have done about the same amount of development on my current original story that I had on ADA by the time I started writing. I started around the very end of September developing my characters and spent a good chunk of October working on setting, worldbuilding, plot, and finally my notecards.

Shockingly, having some idea of what’s happening and where I’m going is making this story easier to write.

Right? Like WHO’D HAVE THOUGHT.

Because of that, I’ve been excited about writing my story, so getting myself to write on it has been (comparatively) a cakewalk.

That’s not to say any of the writing is good (oh God no) or that there aren’t parts that need fixing, or that I haven’t been stuck. But it’s been stuck like “how do I describe seeing a tree-covered mountain in the middle of fall from the POV of someone who has never seen something like this” rather than “I have no fucking clue what happens next uh…”

The stories I struggle the most with writing are the ones that I’ve worked the least on developing. The stories that have been the easiest to write have been the ones I’ve spent at least a month doing prep work on before I ever start drafting.

2) Love your story.

Being in love with a story makes it a lot easier to write, at least for me. Because here’s the thing, ideas are easy.

If you’re a creative person, you’re going to end up with a file of story ideas—maybe prompts you liked, dialogue that stuck with you, one of those “humans are space orcs” tumblr posts that’s just really clicking in your brain—that will be longer than you could conceivably write if you had a hundred lifetimes. That’s okay! That’s great. But it means a lot of them are never going to get past the idea stage.

For me, the stories that get finished—the ones that not only get started but actually make it through the first draft and then three rounds of editing and revisions—are the ideas that I’ve been percolating on for months, if not longer. They’ve been cooking in the back of my brain while I’ve been doing other things, sorting themselves out, and most importantly: they will not let me go.

Coming up with ideas is easy. Finding an idea that will last and sustain a story and my interest for at least a year, if not longer? That’s harder.

Y’all know how much I’ve been talking about Tiger & Bunny over the past year? We’re talking that level of obsession with a story that I want to write, whether it’s fic or original. Sometimes it takes months or years for all the puzzle pieces to come together. Sometimes the whole thing will congeal within a few weeks, or there will be one crucial piece of story that will just make EVERYTHING come together, I will literally shout “OH MY FUCKING GOD” and that’s it, I’m off to the races. (In this particular case, it wasn’t anything I’d done in the first two weeks of poking at steampunk-y ideas; it was the realization that I could put a circus on an airship. The whole story just went WHOOSH after that.)

BUT. But. Sometimes you don’t have that. These stories are great and I love them and they remind me why I love writing so much (and if you’re writing something that’s gonna be 90k+, like I have a tendency to do, you need to be in love with it, IMO), but sometimes you’re in situations where you just have to get it done. In those cases:

3) Resort to bribery.

I’ve been poking at the third part of Alpha & Emissary, oh, basically since I posted the second part. My problem is that my fandom focus has been, shall we say, split for the past year. *coughs delicately, shoves Tiger & Bunny fics under the bed*

But here’s the thing: I hate having a published WIP on AO3 (it’s why I don’t publish long!fics until they’re completely drafted and mostly edited). I hate—HATE—having an unfinished series on AO3.

So that’s the rub: I have an unfinished series that I want to finish because I hate that it’s not finished. I also have a new fandom that is wresting my attention and inspiration away from said series. What’s a girl to do?

A girl tells herself she can’t write any more Tiger & Bunny fic until she finishes this one WIP, that’s what she does.

And it’s motivated me to sit my ass down and work on that WIP, because goddammit, I have a “but there was only one bed” TaiBani fic that I would really like to have up by New Year’s.

Your bribery will be different. Maybe you get to watch 1 episode of your favorite show per every 1k you write, or you get to try a new knitting project when you finish this short story. Maybe you binge-watch an entire season of your favorite anime if you exceed your NaNo goal. Or you write 50 words and get a cookie. The point is, find what works for you to get it done.

4) Figure out a minimum daily goal and stick with it.

For me, this was 500 words a day. 500 words. That’s it. That’s one 30-minute word sprint for me. That’s something I can do without stressing myself out.

Because of this point and point 3, I wrote more than 7000 words on a story I’d been stuck on for the better part of a year before I had to stop to work on NaNo stuff. Another 7k, and I’ll probably have it finished.

Your minimum word count will almost certainly be different. Maybe it’s 300 words a day, maybe it’s 1000. Hell, maybe it’s 100 words. Again, find what works for you, what you can write regularly without stressing yourself out.

Another important thing: If I didn’t hit 500 words, I didn’t beat myself up about it. Maybe I wrote 350. Or 220. Or just 93. The point is, did I write? Yes? Then I did good. I got myself a sentence or a paragraph closer to finishing. And it all adds up.

(And hey, you don’t have to write every day. I do, or I try to, because that’s what works for me. If it stresses you out to do so, then find another way to make it work.)

5) Deadlines, deadlines, deadlines.

This one’s hard because I can rarely keep a deadline that’s not set by an external source. If you tell me on December 20 that you need a story by December 22? Then on December 22, you’ll have a story, edited and ready to post. But when it comes to something I set for myself, the chances of a deadline working are 50/50.

That being said, it is something that helps me keep on track and even if I don’t finish something by a self-imposed deadline, it does get me writing.

6) Sprint with friends!

NaNo is really great for this because all your writer friends are coming out of the woodwork going I need to hit 5k by the end of today, will you sprint with me? Sometimes it just helps to have that kind of accountability. You all get together (I’ve used Discord, Google Hangouts, IRC, and Twitter DMs for this), set a timer, and write for 15 minutes or 20 minutes or 30 minutes. Then, when the time’s up, you post your word count, everybody congratulates everybody else, and then you take a break before doing the next one.

Sprints are the reason I’ve been able to make some pretty significant headway on my word counts, and few things get me writing like knowing I’m going to have to tell everybody in my group what my word count is in 30 minutes or less. >.>

Like I said earlier, YMMV on all of these. What works for me may work for you, or it might not. But if you aren’t sure, it’s worth giving it a shot.

Happy writing!

[haedraulics]

Omgggg i didn’t know you liked hannibal!!! Which is your favorite episode?

JKSKSBFK oh anon i certainly do (if my hannibal tag has anything to say on that)

and WOW asking the tough questions anon i’m going to need to slump under a rock and contemplate that question for a hot hour lmao,, my guy i’m so in deep i have some season 1 scripts memorized and dream in jim hawkinson cinematography (YELLINGg)

so i guess i have to answer What Hannibal Episode is my Favorite Hannibal Episode? now……..

it’s a 60/40 split between the pilot 1x01 Aperitif and 3x04 Aperitivo, and i get so excited and emotional just recalling the episodes that i have to seriously compartmentalize this response anon

NO SPOILERS reasons why the pilot episode is my favorite episode:

(listing only the reasons the pilot is so strong and not the series as a whole)

-i’ve watched it over 30 times. that’s over 20hrs of my life collectively taken up by a single episode of broadcast television. help me please to elaborate, i’ve made dozens of friends, including several whole classes, give this show a shot. many of whom did make it to the end, what us fannibals would call a successful ‘hannivangelizing’. and because i’m an insufferably invested fan, i usually end up rewatching with them, hence the ludicrous amount of times i’ve watched this episode LMAO

-each time i appreciate something new– and that’s a crazy huge compliment, considering i get bored of shows VERY QUICKLY LOL

-it creatively and efficiently introduces the character of will graham. plainly- will is a stupendously complicated protagonist. his empathetic abilities are unusual in the crime genre- it’s not ‘hurr morally ambiguous detective can think like the killer because he’s dark and morally ambiguous hurr’, it’s ‘deeply troubled man wants to lead a moral life but is unable to control how deeply he can FEEL like the killer’.

the fact that this is never verbally explained at length is what’s amazing. ‘show, don’t tell’-the golden rule of all dramatic production is masterfully followed in the first scene, wherein will graham reenacts a murder, deduces evidence that keys into a previously undiscovered aspect of the crime, and then cut back to him in his classroom- BRILLIANT. all that, when they could have easily put some expositional words into jack crawford’s mouth and been done with it

expanding on will graham, the writers also take care so audiences know that the protagonist is, fundamentally, a man who wants to do good. no matter how fun exploring the possibility of dark!will is, it would ultimately be untrue (and less interesting) to say that will graham is an immoral character. they do this in the most lovely way, by bringing in The Dogs (💖😭). the scene where a stressed and exhausted will graham coaxes a stray dog into his warm family of other strays comes right off the heels of a brutal, violent depiction of a teenage girl being strangled in her own bed. it’s much needed brevity, and most importantly it compels us as viewers to care about our protagonist. 

-it withholds the introduction of hannibal lecter. the show is called ‘Hannibal’ for bryan fuller’s sake- but the iconic, eponymous character is literally not even mentioned, let alone seen, until halfway into the premiere episode. lesser writers would have rushed headlong into getting as much lecter screentime as possible- after all this show was pitched on the basis of his pop culture notoriety, right? but no, the pilot patiently dedicates the first half of itself to endearing the lesser-known will graham to us, making lecter’s reveal all the more satisfying. 

-the split second reaction expressions of hannibal and will’s first meeting, which in retrospect totally sell mads’ ‘love at first sight’ comment. again, smartly, the writers let the two throw quips at each other and put down that they are… strangely, on the same wavelength? and then immediately thwart that benevolence with hannibal’s gibberish probing. 

-the hilarious editing of when the body is discovered in the field. how it intercuts between hannibal’s cooking and will’s mind building a clearer, more sympathetic profile of garett jacob hobbs by way of process of elimination. also on will’s mind- the ridiculously satisfying rehashing of ‘show don’t tell’ to illustrate the ticking of will’s mind. instead of him verbalizing the pieces coming together while staring blankly over elise nichol’s body, the camera closes into darkness and the suspended ragdoll of her body is sharply pierced by antlers. then he gets it- oh. “she was mounted on them, like hooks.” in a shaking, haunted voice. YES.

-the lovely, lovely rim lighting of their first meal together. the enigmatic line ‘the mongoose i want under the house, when the snakes slither by’ which younger me mistakenly interpreted as hannibal wishing for will’s safety, before realizing that mongooses are actually renowned snake-killers, and that hannibal has so early on recognized will’s potential as a weapon of righteousness. plus, hannibal making will genuinely crack up, and bryan fuller deciding to build an entire running visual metaphor on an otherwise throwaway line about teacups.

-and finally, the ending scene. the climactic moment. the archangel michael slaying satan. there’s so much right about this scene, and actually the wonderful @bonearenaofmyskull already has a much better punctuated analysis of it than this mess of my thoughts 😂 do check it out, it’s just brilliant. 

i have a lot more to say but most of it is incoherent so that’s all fOLks,

i could definitely also produce a rambling shamble of a post about my intense feelings towards 3x04 and how much i adore season 3 as a whole, only if you guys want more of this grammatical travesty LMAO anyway, thanks for popping by anon!!! more hannibal asks would be great please i am PARCHED

[canaryatlaw]

Alright, well today was overall pretty good. I woke up around 11:24 I think, I had my late alarm set for 1pm but figured I’d wake up before then. I had a weird craving for chocolate chip pancakes, which is kinda odd because I’ve literally never made them before in my life, but I had a hershey bar and some m&ms I could use, so I was like hey, let’s do this. So I chopped up the hershey bar and started making them, then moved to the m&ms when I ran out of the chopped chocolate. my pancakes haven’t always been cooperating with me lately, but I was trying to do smaller ones today and I think that worked a lot better, so that’s good to know. And they were really freaking good. So after I finished eating I knew I should get to work, so I pulled up the two things I had for the legal drafting assignment and started doing my final edits before turning it in tonight. I knew it wasn’t perfect, but honestly at this point I just don’t give a fuck anymore, I don’t care if I get one fucking C in my last damn semester, it can’t affect my GPA that much, and who the fuck cares anyway??? I just don’t anymore. but I made some edits and changed a few things around. The thing is I know my arguments are really solid, really damn good arguments, but I know that’s not gonna be what matters because with this prof it’s all about procedure and format and bullshit that doesn’t even matter in the real world. Like legit when I was talking with her last week looking over my past assignment she was like “oh you’re doing this like they taught you at the courthouse, but we’re doing it like this” and I was like ???? these hypothetical projects are *literally* supposed to be from the damn courthouse I worked at, like literally working for the cook county public guardian’s office, and you’re telling me what I learned actually being there was wrong??? I’m just so fucking done, this class should’ve been a breeze for me but it became a massive pain in the ass instead. And I really don't give a fuck if she doesn’t like my writing, the people I’ve actually worked under in the real world have always loved it, my one supervisor still gushes about the motion I wrote from the child death case as one of the best he’s ever seen, and I really, really don’t give a fuck about this goddamn class anymore. I’m ranting, I know. But anyway. I made my edits and printed it out, ended up having to print two copies of each because something didn’t turn out right in the first version of each, stupid staples (they’ll literally dock you points if your stapling doesn’t look good) and temporarily forget to use page numbers. But I got all that done and headed out to school a little early, there was supposed to be a PAD transition team meeting at 5:30 so I thought I’d come for a bit before class, except nobody actually doing the meeting showed up on time, and I had class at 5:50, so I left at 5:40, and I apparently didn’t miss much. We turned in our assignment, and then had class for about half an hour, talking mostly about factors regarding appeals and what you should take into consideration when deciding if you’re going to appeal or not. Good stuff I guess. But we ended around 6:20, and the PAD event we had for tonight didn’t start till 7 and it was right across the street so I chilled in the PAD office for a bit before going over. The event is supposed to be an official introduction to the new executive board, with alumni coming and networking and all that good shit, it’s called “Story Time” because we’re “Story Chapter” (all of the chapters are named after Supreme Court justices, since our chapter was founded in the 1890s it was after a very old justice, Joseph Story). So I headed over there and mingled for a bit, pretty good food, they had chicken tenders that were like, really damn good chicken tenders lol and they had grilled cheese, which is like, perfect, so I was pleased with that. I spent a while chatting with one of the older alums about work and life and all that good stuff. He’s looking for a law clerk, but since I’m a 3L he said I need to focus on studying for the bar, and worry about jobs later, which is valid, lol. After that I just went to where my friends are and hung out with them for a bit more, just having fun. The event ended around 9, and since we were the ones throwing it we ended up being the last people there, and they had a buffet style food set up and the staff put out to go boxes and were like “hey if you want to take any of this home go for it because it’s just gonna get thrown out” so I may have gone to town on the chicken tenders and shoved 20 of them into a to go box (I counted) which I expect will go to good use over the next couple of weeks (weeks because I’ll probably freeze some of them at some point, chicken tenders aren’t really a food that’s like, cooked one time, because most of them come pre-cooked, and they were warmed up today, but I can just warm them up again and they’ll be the same lol so that’s useful. I’m sure Jess will be having some this weekend because she hasn't eaten shit all week (sigh). But yeah, I went home, dropped my stuff and decided to watch Arrow. It was......odd. Not really an episode they’ve ever done before, mostly just because there was almost no Oliver in it. And I felt like the whole time they were trying to get us to like Diaz and like, I just don’t??? I don’t find him to be a very compelling character and the whole time I was just like Dinah honey why are you hanging out with this asshole?? I don’t get it. I will say though I did like the plot between Oliver and Felicity and the moment they had at the end of the episode, so that was good. After that the only other show I had left to watch was Riverdale, which I put on because we decided we’re going to “Riverdale Con” (god that sounds so absurd) next weekend because it’s in Chicago and we can, and plus we’re already going two weekends without a con, we definitely couldn’t go three. Riverdale was the musical episode of course, and I had fairly mixed feelings about it. I wasn’t familiar with the music of Carrie, I knew the plot obviously but hadn’t heard any of the songs before. Most of my feelings were that the majority of the cast really cannot sing and were very, very autotuned, and like the only one who could actually sing was the actor who plays Kevin, and they only let him sing like two fucking lines??? I mean wtf was that about, bad choice there. But yeah, I guess the episode itself was fine, and I did walk away with Veronica’s song stuck in my head. I also ended up looking up the plot on wiki because I wanted to see how the songs fit in, which was an interested read at least....lot of death. It was funny though because I know Christy Altomare and Derek Klena had played Sue and Tommy opposite each other in the 2012 production, and then of course they’re currently playing Anastasia and Dimitri in Anastasia right now. And yeah, I finished watching that then basically started getting ready for bed. Other things that have been on my mind though, I read an article talking about how Christians are becoming disillusioned with the term Evangelical because it’s come to be associated with the Trump idiots and everything that comes with that. And like, it’s so interesting for me to see this because I was thinking through all of this back in 2014 when I decided that I was no longer identifying with that term. Because what does it even mean?? Nothing, really. There’s no set definition that would make one an “evangelical.” I broke with the movement way before everyone else did though, over the “World Vision Incident” that left me so incredibly incensed at everyone who caused that horrific event to happen- basically, World Vision announced that as a non-denominational Christian organization they would be hiring Christian employees in same sex relationships since some denominations are now affirming. One of World Vision’s main programs is about sponsoring a child, send like $30 a month to go to the life of this specific child you’re matched up with. And when this happened, a lot of evangelical leaders protested which led to a huge number of people cancelling their child sponsorships, to the point where World Vision was forced to capitulate or they would suffer such a horrific loss in the work they are doing. Overall, the entire event resulted in 10,000 people dropping their sponsorships, and many did not renew them when they changed positions (incidentally, I immediately called up and started a sponsorship right after this happened). And like, for me that was such a clear line in the sand that was drawn. When you’re fighting your culture wars using the lives of children living in poverty as bargaining chips to force a company not to hire people you disapprove of, that keeping these people out of your organizations is more important to you than the literal lives of children, when that is what you believe in, I’m sorry but you and I do not believe in the same God. I believe in the God who said let the little children come on to me, and admonished the adults to be more like the children. The Jesus who never uttered a word about the culture issues evangelicals are obsessed with pressing. The God who said it was better that you throw a millstone around your neck and jump into the water than to lead a child astray, to hurt a child like that. That’s my God, I don’t know what bastardized version of a god (small g) that you believe in, but he’s certainly not the one I know. The one who gave me such a drive to change the world for children, to help the most vulnerable of the most vulnerable, those shoved into horrible situations and desperately need love and assurance from those around them. The God that created me to have steel in my veins when it comes to dealing with the child abuse I willingly engage with, the God that made me for this purpose, so much that I can feel it in my bones, this is what I was meant to do with my life, nothing else could ever feel right. The God who won’t let me stop until I make a difference, until I’m saving the lives of children in the system every day, no matter how difficult and traumatic that might be. The God who never turned his back on me when I doubted he was there, when I couldn't see him then, but looking back I can see he never left me, he was there the whole time, carrying me through the hard times while I was kicking and screaming and was furious with him for putting me through all I had to deal with. The God who used all of that to create a deep passion in me to save children, so they never have to go through that. This is my purpose in life, and that’s the God I believe in, I don’t know the one you’re praising who cares more about making gay people outcasts than the literal lives of children.

okay, that turned into a massive rant that went a little off the wheels, but I hope I got my point across. My faith is so, so important to me, and it hurts me so much to see the name of Christ being dragged through the mud by those claiming his name and acting as if they’ve never opened a bible. But anyway. That’s about it for my day. No official plans for tomorrow, I might do a short grocery run to stock up on a few things, and maybe small group at night, we’ll see. I mean, I should probably start studying at some point, but my first final isn’t until May 2nd, which is still a week and a half away, and it’s the easiest one, so I’ll have time. Alright, I’m done now. That was a massive rant about my many frustrations that I will hopefully feel better about now. It’s past 1:30 am so I’m going to get to bed now. Goodnight my dearies. If you made it all the way through this post, bless you for caring about my life enough to do that. ❤️