#ceremorphosis takes over. but I like that struggle ^ and it leads into the astarion romance convo nicely hehe | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

swordmaid · 2 months ago

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now I’m thinking about half illithid shri’iia more I really like the idea that she feels like it’s not her, or she’s just in her body but she doesn’t feel like the one that’s controlling it. when she speaks, her mouth is moving and she is saying what she thinks but it doesn’t feel like it’s her talking. when she fights she watches herself move but it feels like watching a movie - she is distant. day by day her grip on her own self is loosening, and she feels like she’s getting replaced. but is it so bad to be replaced when this newer version of her is better, and much more powerful? when she’s not restrained by any fear or paranoia, or the lack of knowledge in anything, and her hollow chest and broken oath doesn’t even matter anymore not when she is as powerful as she is now? and she knows she’s barely scratching the surface of this new illithid power. there is so much more she could be if she lets go of all her restraints, and she embraces this fully. if she ascends, and accepts ceremorphosis she’d be better and stronger. the emperor is encouraging her too, and he’s been right about everything so far she was just too paranoid to trust him…

like the ea version of daisy where she’s getting seduced/lured by the tadpole but instead it’s the astral tadpole wanting to take over her. and shri’iia has to work to make herself feel like herself, and to resist that temptation, and remind herself that taking this power was a necessity so they win and not something she actually wanted or needed. (she was always more than enough!!!!)

#I think that ^ internal struggle and the fact that her physical appearance has been changed would make her feel like she’s losing herself #on oathbreaker arc would be so unsettling since all her powers comes from her own self will #n beliefs and all that. but on a non oathbreaker arc on a shri’iia who knows she’s worth nothing if she has no one #to devote herself too I think losing herself to the worm wouldn’t be bad at all considering she (personal self) has been long gone.#when lolth threw her away her own self was thrown away as well. like she is nothing without her devotion so she is losing nothing when #ceremorphosis takes over. but I like that struggle ^ and it leads into the astarion romance convo nicely hehe #where if u try to break up with spawn astarion bc u feel yourself changing/becoming more of a monster and he’s like no you’re still you #and I like the idea that he helps her ground herself / remind her who she is 😭 bc that’s the self he fell for #like that’s the self he was with and experienced and liked..! the romance stemmed from him enjoying hanging out with her..!!!!#now I have this intimate idea for them sobs. anyway. I’m also thinking now that her mind is unlocked and the restraints of knowledge falls #away from her and she can speak in common (but it feels like speaking in tongues) I think she’d understand him better now #and she would know what he meant when he said he loved her bc before she doesn’t know such a word 😭😭😭😭 aaaauuu #oc: shri’iia.#shut up about bg3.

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