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gatheringbones · 11 months ago

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[“It can be difficult for people raised as girls to express rage when we’ve been taught from very early on that it is in our best interest to suppress our anger. It is culturally acceptable for women to be sad, not angry. In one study on gender, anger, and the workplace, the participants conferred higher status to sad female employees than to angry ones. For men the opposite was true. Men, particularly white men, are rewarded and forgiven for their anger, while women are penalized and blamed.

Ceci, the mestiza paralegal, now lives in Los Angeles with her husband, five-year-old son, and twenty-two-year-old stepdaughter. She described herself using the exact language of a woman who was taught by the culture not to value or express her anger: “I’m a people pleaser. I don’t rock the boat. I go along with everything, do what people tell me.” This is the path of being a good girl, a good woman, and eventually a good mother. Lifelong gendered learning teaches people raised to be women to push down anger and any feelings in the “sub-anger” ballpark, such as annoyance, irritation, and frustration. I imagine this emotional push-down like the carnival game whack-a-mole. Each time an uncomfortable or unpleasant anger-related feeling pops up—whack!—women automatically bang it with a big-headed mallet, sending it back beneath the surface.

Like the rage itself, this game of anger whack-a-mole is an international phenomenon for women. In Korea, there is a culture-related anger syndrome called hwa-byung. It translates literally to “illness of fire” and mostly affects working-class middle-aged housewives, who have chronically suppressed anger stemming from strict gender roles, gender-based inequality, and patriarchal family structures. In traditional Latin American folk medicine, it is believed that holding onto certain emotions can cause physical illness. In Northeast Brazil, the term engolir sapos translates to “swallowing frogs,” and is mostly used by women to refer to the suppression of anger and irritation, and the pressure to tolerate unfair treatment without complaint.

Cheryl, the Black civil rights lawyer who internalizes her mom rage, is practiced at playing whack-a-mole with her anger: “I’m good at repressing things. So, a little problem, I repress it, and it gets packed on top of all the other things that make me mad, until there’s no way to untangle it. It’s just this huge tangle of anger that I’m trying to disassociate from all the time.” In our present-day culture of busy, intensive motherhood, stuffing down unpleasant emotions can be a matter of practicality. Minutes are a precious resource, and airing every frustration is a time expense that modern mothers cannot afford. Emails must be sent, dinner needs to get into bellies, and bodies need to snuggle under covers. But the perceived time-saver of the Emotional Whack-a-Mole phase is a mirage. Every time a mom suppresses her angry feelings, as she’s been taught to do her entire life, she is pushing them onto an ever-growing pile of anger inside her. Eventually, the pile will topple.”]

minna dubin, from mom rage: the everyday crisis of modern motherhood, 2023

#minna dubin #bi literature #gender stuff #currently reading #brainspace

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glindaupland · 11 months ago

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The Phantom of the Opera | Seoul, South Korea | 집팬텀 x 송크리 Review 5/6

October 13, 2023 - Evening / 1500th Korean performance

The Phantom of the Opera | 김주택 Kim Ju-taek/Julian Kim

Christine Daaé | 송은혜 Song Eun-hye

Raoul, Vicomte de Chagny | 황건하 Hwang Gun-ha

Carlotta Giudicelli | 이지영 Lee Ji-young

Oh another incident of me making excuses to see this show again...

@capitanogiorgio really wanted to go and how could I miss the chance to go with a great friend

it was the 1500th Korean performance

I wanted to see Ju-taek with a completely different cast rotation

...it's King Ju-taek, that's reason enough

It was meant to be because when I checked in with her after ticketing, I had bought a seat right in front of hers without even trying. I was just aiming for the general area. So yeah I'm justified! The stars aligned! No regrets, because this was another performance that blew me away and oh boy I cried again somehow what is this dark magic being done to me

I'm so dumb and I left my binoculars in my hotel room so I literally had to run to grab them and my art print for Yoon Young-seok during intermission. Like I said before though, the Charlotte is very small. The view from the last two seats genuinely doesn't feel that far away like it might at the Majestic. It's just difficult distinguish expressions. Any pair of binoculars and opera glasses can easily rectify that.

Backstage | Little Lotte / The Mirror

Quoting Ceci's notes "XOXO Gossip girl André" I just needed to note his dramatic "WoOoOw~!" and silly teenage girl giggling as they left Raoul to be alone with Christine. So scandalous! We both especially liked his delivery in The Mirror this performance. Even with such a powerful commanding voice he's able to make himself sound gentler and a lot less intimidating in response to Christine. Her words clearly have an affect on him, softening him. He called to her more quietly and eerily this time, but oh that nice little build up again in the final words telling her to come closer? Chef's kiss. Very nice range.

The Music of the Night

As with Dong-seok, SEH Christine was more curious about him and is not the fully obedient student like SJS Christine. It makes it interesting when she's paired with the more controlling Phantoms like KJT or CJR. Even so, these two had some interesting chemistry. He actually got a bit too caught up in the moment, leaning in very close to her (the almost kiss). There was a little bit more urgency when he quickly backed away even though he immediately pretended to be composed again. So maybe she hadn't fully given in yet, but she definitely was getting a little too curious. Both shows it did look he kept getting pulled by small stirrings of something from the intimacy, but he was always quick about brushing it off. This night for the line, "마침내 내 것이 될 순간 / The moment you'll finally be mine" - he put the whispered emphasis on "be mine" By the end, she was definitely more convinced by him and open to listening. But of course, getting jumpscared by a bride replica of yourself might be a bit of a vibe killer so hm that progress kinda dropped

Stranger Than You Dreamt It

Like I said, I left my binoculars for Act 1 so this part was kinda agonizing because I couldn't see facial expressions. But he really sounded more exposed and hysterical after his unmasking than before. He ended his outburst with loud gasps and even the first half of STYDI which was clearly meant to sound intimidating and harsh felt shaky. Once again, SEH Christine didn't take her eyes off of the Phantom when he came near. She began to reach for him when he was close like she had done with JDS Phantom, but he turned away too quickly...

Why Have You Brought Me Here? / All I Ask of You

Side-eyeing the hell out of HGH Raoul again, but extra this time. Until he's just about to start AIAOY, he just comes across as judgmental and irritated with her. Although I definitely prefer him over Hadley, he's a little too much of that type of hot-headed for me. I found it funny that Ju-taek talked about HGH Raoul always being angry. Like even directing his anger at Christine (he noted his way of shouting "이쪽으로 와요 / Come this way!!!" at Christine before she takes him to the rooftop and the way he shouts at Madame Giry). It's too accurate 😭 Anyway, not technically a bad performance, just not my preference with personalities for Raoul. I think he would suit the role of the Phantom a lot more when he’s older 👀 To more briefly summarize this I'm quoting Ceci's notes again: "Tiger big douche tonight?" I will give him that he is very cute during AIAOY and I wish he would continue to be this cute. He was romantic and very passionate about it! I just have a radio performance to share so sadly you won't get the real feeling, but it's at least a little taste?

youtube

Wandering Child

I know the Phantom's murdering and kidnapping and whatnot but this is in his top crimes like he's a real bitch for this. He made himself sound so safe and inviting in 'Wandering Child' like leave her alone you weirdo!! And SEH Christine responds with "아빠 - Father?" whenever the Phantom calls for her to come closer at the end of the trio's singing. No, girl, no! 😭 His voice made a complete transformation after being interrupted by Raoul. Suddenly, he had a strong terrifying authoritative presence.

The Point of No Return

I loved how he gently tilted her chin with his fingers during the beginning of his half of the song like Dong-seok had at my first performance 🤭 His voice felt really strong, he really seemed determined and confident, but once again he was absolutely on edge when they get to the bench and struggling to grasp for that "control" he thought he had. They ended the song very close!! He wasn't even able to finish singing the final word. The adrenaline rush was gone. He was scared now. Despite being so intense before, his voice and the way he went to take her hand for the ring became so gentle, but also desperate and rushed at the same time. ...but why did the rooster NO!! get funnier to me. I'm so sorry!

Final Lair

During ‘Down Once More’ she tried to touch him, but he grabbed her angrily to stop her. I think she tried to reach to him or touch him a few other times like when she said she didn’t fear his face anymore, but this only made him panic and lash out more. He was really agitated and on edge! There were a lot more aggressive responses as attempts to suppress his doubts about his actions. Deep down he knew he sensed what he was doing was wrong, but he kept clinging to this feeling of betrayal and the excuse of his face to justify pushing forward. But we're past the point of no return, we can only go full speed ahead now. The way he mocked Raoul seemed so calm, but when HGH Raoul started snapping at him he matched his energy a lot more viciously than when interacting with SWG Raoul. He pounded his chest during the line "이 모든 건 이미 결정된 것 / Everything has already been decided" with a pained emphasis on 'decided'. I think deep inside he already might have known what the ending would have to be Ohhhh when Raoul asked why he would force her to choose a lie this time it enraged the Phantom so much he grunted loudly and looked like he was about to actually strangle him when he lunged at him. SEH Christine was brave about blocking his path and he stormed off again because he couldn't hurt her. But it's kind of funny to me that Ju-taek said the aggression from HGH Raoul triggers more anger from him (that was clear), but when facing SWG Raoul he almost feels bad for him. He also said putting the noose on SWG Raoul is easy, but then HGH Raoul is kinda scary and angry. Personally, I think that putting a noose on HGH Raoul is the equivalent of putting a chihuahua leash on a tiger and hoping it'll hold. The way he gave his "믿었다... 날 믿었다고... / Trusted...you trusted me" reply was sharp, almost sarcastic and he shouted for her to make her choice looking seriously anguished. She looked wounded and sobbed before she began to respond. The kiss was similar to the one with SJS and SEH Christine really didn't want to leave him either. She was trying to stretch her hand out to him while HGH Raoul kept insisting they needed to leave. When he called himself the angel of death she was shaking her head. Hadn't she just expressed something different to him? It looked like it hurt her to still hear those kinds of words from him. But the weight of his guilt was really crushing him so much that he couldn't take it. He fell to the ground crying hard when he chased them away. Upon seeing Christine return, he sighed a little. She was whimpering and sobbing as he told her that he loved her and she nodded slowly in return. He really tried hard to make it look like he was at peace with letting her go, but it was clear he wasn't ready. The moment her hand left his, he let out a shaky sigh like she was his very breath being taken away from him when she ran off crying. But he didn't try to stop her in any way. He just kissed the ring softly and walked picked up the veil on the ground. He quietly repeated her name into the veil over and over again lovingly before he did the same action with the veil singing his final lines. Even though SEH Christine doesn't look at her Phantoms, she sounded mournful and shaky on the way out. I don't think she'd even be able to handle looking at him again

Here's yet another special commemorative audience photo woo! Ceci and I stretched into the aisle so we could find ourselves later and not just be a blur in the crowd and well...there we are. I think he took like 3 different poses before deciding the last one was the right one heh

I think in general the cast was on fire! There was a lot of good energy since it was another special performance. Part of the multiple reasons I chose to attend! After this I could say with confidence that Kim Ju-taek has now ended up being in my top favorite Phantoms. I know he had performance experience from opera, but I still can't believe he's been able to come up one of the most unique perspectives I've seen for this role for his first musical. Now my friends and I have all sorts of future role ideas, so I hope he continues to do musicals in the future! Just one more review left now~

It's promo time enjoy some performances to cleanse your ears!