#ceasefire talks are hinging on both sides mutually agreeing to give certain things up

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people who got angry at the writers of 2x03 for talking about how rhaenyra didn't put any thought into her meeting with alicent and can't be surprised at the outcome because "rhaenyra shouldn't have to offer any concessions" are baffling and probably lacking in brain cells because that's literally spot on. rhaenyra went into an attempt at peace talks without any attempt to conciliate the opposing side and was surprised when the peace talks devolved and ultimately failed. it's bad decision making on her part, it's bad leadership and governance insofar as she has the ability to govern, and given that we're meant to see her as a legitimate claimant to be the sovereign, it's entirely reasonable to judge her on those standards.

because rhaenyra should have thought of concessions. she's making a big ask here, and it's entirely fair that she make offers that could actually appeal to the opposing side other than "War Bad :(" because the other side knows that, like in every conflict ever, they've just decided that the potential outcomes of winning the war matter more than the lack of war in its entirety. it is doubly important that rhaenyra offer concessions because she is also no longer the only wounded party. any peace talk to avoid the dance would need to hinge on both sides acknowledging that there has been serious wrong done to each part. on rhaenyra's end, the man whose rule is law proclaimed her heir but that was taken from her, and her son was killed unexpectedly during the negotiation phase. on aegon's end, he has the precedent of centuries of westerosi legal custom, and his six year old was murdered for absolutely no reason through no fault of his own or even aegon's. these are major grievances that both need to be dealt with fairly and with the understanding that restitution on both sides needs to be made. i mean, hell, rhaenyra only gives a passing mention to the fact that she did not, in fact, order two assassins to force their way into helaena's bedroom and make her choose which child to die. not even offering to allow daemon to face any sort of legal justice at aegon's hands is a gigantic fucking blunder on her part.

rhaenyra is no longer in the position where she can make unilateral demands because she is no longer the only person who has suffered or dealt with material consequences. hostilities are now as much motivated by personal desires for revenge as they are for legitimate succession reasons, and rhaenyra knows that because the entire reason she meets with alicent is to try and break the cycle that started with luke and then moved to jaehaerys and then the cargylle twins afterwards. i mean, hell, look at what alicent says at the end of the conversation when she tells rhaenyra it's too late. she mentions that the equivalent to armed forces have been mobilized, that one of the most personally powerful military men is actively marching to engage in warfare, and that aemond, someone who is not only ruthless but, as far rhaenyra knows, has a vested personal interest in doing things like avenging his beheaded nephew, is going to be involved. rhaenyra's thoughts, were she a competent leader/administrator, should be "what can i do to get them to at least press pause on this so we can negotiate further". the fact that it wasn't is a failure on her part, the fact that she did just think she could come in and go "let's stop fighting" when there are issues that she needs to address on her side now is a failure. it's entirely acceptable to call her out on this.

and i would have given this same criticism if a peace talk was initiated by alicent with that same mindset. if alicent had tried to negotiate with rhaenyra and been the one pushing for it, she should have had some restitution to offer her for what happened to luke, and for sending ser arryk to murder her in her bed. that would be a reasonable thing for rhaenyra to accept, since those are grievances that the greens need to address in any peace talk with her in turn. but the difference is that alicent is aware of the fact that she'd need to do that, because she already did it. she's the one who says they need to send terms to dragonstone after aegon's coronation that rhaenyra can find acceptable and agree to without feeling humiliated or losing face amongst her own supporters. she sends otto with those terms with clear messages to be conciliating, and even leverages her and rhaenyra's former emotional investment in each other to drive home that these are peace messages (in contrast to rhaenyra starting out with 'if i wanna i could murder you' which is a very bad way to start a peace talk, and rhaenyra knows that because immediately when called on it she acknowledges that it's a fuck up on her part).

there's a section of this fandom that believes rhaenyra is the rightful ruler, but then actually refuses to judge her on her merits as a ruler. she wants to be the sovereign, fantastic, but that means she's going to be held to a higher standard by both other characters and the audience, because she's now the key decision maker and also responsible for literally everything that happens on her end (i don't know if some of y'all were just too dumb to qualify for apush but i am smart so i took it and i remember when we talked about the truman presidency in that class and "the buck stops here"). it's not the writers being shitty to rhaenyra to point out that this plan was flawed from the getgo because there were serious issues in her thinking that meant it could never succeed. it's just the simple truth of the situation.