#cause i overthink this silly family and cry every time that i remember the door scene in wonderland :')

[anistarrose]

[ID from alt: tumblr tags from myself reading: "it's so funny that clint made a 'you do have a secret brother' goof in that moment because like. yeah that's barry! that's their brother! he's gonna join the party and speak thieves cant and *literally* open doors where they cannot!" End ID.]

so on the one hand, Travis's "we need a rogue, can we have another brother?" goof upon encountering the lockbox in PTTM was definitely meant to be out of character, directed at his real family and not at Merle or Taako. but on the other hand, I still like to imagine Magnus saying it in universe...

because Merle and Taako are his family, of course, but also because it hits a little different once you think about Barry knowing Thieves' Cant :')

[xpeachesncream]

off the grid | eight

summary: it was as simple as swapping places with a stranger from across the world to get away from everything back home. that is - until you meet Jimin. things become more complicated as he unfolds a new chapter in your life that you were initially trying to avoid.

pairing: reader x pjm

genre: post-college au, christmas/holiday au | angst, fluff, smut (to come)

words: 2.1k

chapter warnings: cussing, more insecurities and overthinking, crying, mom and dad to the rescue, your friends back home miss you, reminiscing

> series masterlist <

You woke up at the usual 8AM time, looking out at the city view from the bed, checking your phone to see if anything new has popped up. Christmas had finally arrived in Seoul, the sun beaming bright and early. You and Jimin hadn't talked since that night you got into an argument and to be honest, it had been taking a toll on you the past few days. You cried, and you cried. Still unsure of what to do and how to approach this, but you knew sooner or later, you were just going to have to pick yourself up and move on. Thinking about it still left this uneasy, empty feeling deep down.

You were going back home.

The month flew by in a breeze, but overall, you were grateful for your experience here. You were grateful for the new friends you met and the adventures they had taken you. You were grateful having crossed paths with Jimin, being the absolute angel he was. The amount of love and care he had showered you during your time together was more than anything you have ever experienced before. It was unreal. Golden. Pure. Unlike any other.

"Hi baby!" Your mom yells through Facetime, causing you to chuckle as you held the sheets tighter against your body.

"Hey ma, where's papa?" She flashed the camera over at your dad, who was sipping on wine next to her. They sat in their hotel balcony, overlooking the view, waiting for Christmas to hit London since it was only 11pm there.

"Hey sweetheart, how's Seoul?" Your dad asks from his seat, but your mom is hogging the camera, so you can't even see his face.

"It's good."

"Yeah? It's already Christmas there, right? Merry Christmas, sweetie!"

"Merry early Christmas to you and dad." You smile softly.

"We'll definitely do our own thing when we get back."

"Okay, I'm looking forward to it. How has London been?"

"Absolutely amazing. We wish you were here, but Seoul sounds awesome too!"

"Yeah, it is. I've been having a lot of fun since I've been here."

"I see that, I loved all the pictures you've been sending me. Are you hanging out with your new friends today?"

"Um, probably not." Your smile fades as your eyes drop down from the camera to your fingers.

"Oh." Your mom picks up on the mood change quickly. "What's wrong, sweetie? What's on your mind?" You sigh. Those words are triggering; so triggering that as soon as you register that your mom has asked you what was wrong, you break down in tears again. "Oh no, honey. What is it?"

"Mom, I think I messed up. Or, maybe it's my fault for getting so attached. I-I knew what my plan was coming here and I just messed it up for myself."

"What are you talking about?" You hear your dad faintly ask your mom to include his face in the camera too, being that he's worried about you and your well-being as well.

"I shouldn't have gotten so attached to Jimin." Your mom and dad were well aware of who Jimin was, being that you gushed about him and how well he had taken care of you during majority of your stay here. They were happy you had met new people and that you bonded well with them because they knew what you were going through back home. However, they weren't ready for this conversation to happen.

"Oh, honey." She slightly clicks her mouth, the expression on her face filled with worry and concern.

"How stupid am I? I knew I wasn't going to be here for long, but I still pressed on it. I continued on and acted on my feelings for him. And now he probably doesn't want anything to do with me cause I told him this was never going to work. What if he thinks I misled him?"

"Look, you aren't stupid. You hear me? You are not stupid. You can't help what you feel for someone, no matter what you do. It's worse to push that aside and try to suppress it instead of tackling it head on. You'll be miserable doing so."

"But mom, this distance. Don't you think it'll be too difficult?"

"Nothing is ever too difficult, honey." Your dad chimes in. "Every relationship will always have its ups and downs. It will always be a ride no matter what. You just have to figure out if this is worth it for you, because if it is, then none of that matters. You will get through it together."

"Did I mess it up? Was I wrong for telling him that this will never work?" Your mom sighed.

"Your dad and I can't really tell you what to do or what to say in these situations, sweetie. You're the only one who truly understands what you're feeling, no one else. Do you feel like you misled him?"

"I fell in love with him, mom." You cried into the phone, your voice becoming weak.

"Oh, baby." Your mom replies. "I wish I could give you a big hug right now. I think you need to take time and think about this before you come home."

"Just remember that there isn't anything you can't overcome, honey. If he makes you happy, then you should welcome it. Let yourself experience that happiness." Your dad chimes in.

"Whatever you do, we will always be here for you. Same with Namjoon and Yoongi. But, please just choose yourself for once. Be selfish. Do whatever that means to you. It's completely okay to do so." Your mom says, making you nod. Be selfish. The words stuck to you like glue. Do whatever that means to you.

You continue to talk to your parents for a bit as they spill the details about their whereabouts since they haven't sent you as many pictures as you have with them. You were glad they were taking time off and really enjoying themselves, they truly deserved it with all the hard, endless work they have been putting in back home. After the call, you finally head downstairs to get washed up and get yourself ready for today, or whatever the day had in store for you. There wasn't anything open, but you felt like a walk around the neighborhood could do you some good. You just needed some cool, fresh air.

This wasn't how you expected to spend your Christmas, but you were partially to blame. The thoughts flooded your head, the what if's. All of a sudden you were full of regret, feeling like you made the wrong move by pushing Jimin away just like you did. You were (and still are) scared. You were so fucking scarred from your experience with Romeo that you couldn't even bring yourself to appreciate a good man when he came along, and that's what you hated the most about this long-time fight you've had with your past.

If you were to fix this, you weren't sure how. You didn't know if Jimin was done. You remember seeing the hurt plastered on his facial expression and it kills you every time. As much as you were afraid to take this leap, you fell in love with someone who had the purest soul. You couldn't forget how easy he made it seem to care for you. How easy it was for him to show you how he felt. For once, someone showed you that you were perfect how you were, flaws and all.

What did you truly want?

"It's Christmas there, right? Merry Christmas, Y/N!" Yoongi yells loudly over the Facetime call.

"Merry early Christmas to you guys, too."

"You excited to come home?" Namjoon flashes his face into the frame.

"I guess so."

"How do you feel?"

"Better than when I got here, that's for sure."

"That's all that matters, right?" Yoongi asks, still concerned about you and your whole situation with Jimin. To be honest, your friends really wanted you to be happy, but they too weren't going to tell you how to live your life. They just wanted to make sure you were set with your decisions instead of drowning in regret.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"What are you going to do today?"

"I'm just going to start packing up my things and cleaning around Yana's spot. Just gotta make sure it's ready for her."

"Where are you right now?" Namjoon squints his eyes as he's looking at your background while you walk.

"Just talking a walk around the neighborhood."

"It looks beautiful there."

"It is. Truly."

"Well, make sure you rest and relax today. You're going to be on a long flight back home."

"Ah, the dreaded 13-14 hour flight."

"We'll be back to bugging you in no time." Yoongi flashes his gummy smile with a thumbs up.

"How's Yana been?"

"She's been good, she's pretty excited to go back home to see her family and friends though." Namjoon and Yana had also taken their relationship to new heights, something you wish you were bold enough to do with Jimin. Joon tried to spare details so he wouldn't make you feel bad about everything going on, but as long as he was happy, you were happy too.

"That's good. I'm glad she really enjoyed her time there."

"She sure did." Namjoon wiggled his eyebrows

"You're sick, bro. The fuck." Yoongi furrowed his forehead and slightly shoved him. As you started to make your way back to the loft, you slowed your pace when you realized there was something sitting on the doorstep. You rose your eyebrow, unable to make out what the item was from where you were standing.

"Hey, look, I'll talk to you both later, okay?"

"Is everything okay?" Joon asks. You send him a reassuring, toothless smile and nod.

"Yeah, I'm just about to get into the loft."

"Alrighty, Merry Christmas again, dude. Can't wait for you to get back." Yoongi replies, with Joon yelling another 'Merry Christmas' greeting before they end the call. Getting closer, you see a tupperware full of food, with a sweater and a small box on top of the sweater. Your heart drops because as silly as it sounds, you knew that tupperware. There was a small note taped to the lid of the tupperware that read 'Mom told me to feed you well.' You smiled a bit to yourself before unlocking the door. You brought the items inside, placing them carefully onto the kitchen island before observing the sweater and box closely. You also knew that hoodie all too well - it was the same black, Stussy hoodie you always pulled from his closet to wear whenever you were hanging out at their apartment. You always liked how his smell lingered on the hoodie, and how he looked so damn good throwing it on. Opening the small box, you find a tiny, black album, full of polaroids. You instantly find yourself in tears, your hands slightly shaking as you flipped through the polaroids Jimin had taken of you during your stay here. Most were candid photos of you, but there were other polaroids that included him, Jungkook, Taehyung, Hoseok, Jin and their other college friends. Your eyes landed on the last polaroid in the album, remembering that moment clear as day. It was at the tower and Jungkook had taken over Jimin's polaroid camera, snatching a photo of you and Jimin with the view of Seoul behind you two. Jimin held you closely, his arm wrapped around your waist, while he planted a huge kiss on your cheek. You smiled from ear to ear as you wrapped your arms around his neck, closing your eyes at how his lips felt against your skin. A note from behind the last polaroid fell out, causing you to crouch to the floor in order to grab it.

Y/N, Merry Christmas. If it's one thing you can do for me before you go back, please hold onto these and remember me. Remember the friends you made and remember our time together.

I'll always hold you close, no matter the distance.

- PJM

You felt your entire body sink against the kitchen island, no longer being able to bear the weight on your own two feet as you cried. And you cried, and you cried. Jimin was everything you had been praying for, the one man who you knew could treat you right and give you the world. There was no hesitation. All you wanted to do was run into his arms and apologize, stay here longer, be selfish. But, you had no idea what was stopping you. Maybe it was the fact that you had everything back home, and you weren't sure if this was too big of a step for you to take.

But God, you would never forgive yourself if you allowed him to get away.

So let's revisit that question one last time: what did you truly want?

[instantlyexhaustedowl]

"He was my first love... And only one."

Summary:

Old photos, one old love and two not that old twins. A bit of talking after Weirmaggedon. Stan listening to his bro-bro memories about college lover.

Notes:

Please be kind to me, it's my first fanfic in English and also my first fanfic i have ever posted.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28580418

Ford was nostalgically sorting old photoes. Wrinkled paper gently rustled in his weary hands. All those memories, forgotten things with distand feeling of lost love, whole past in his worn out hands. "Ya look sad, bro," Stan's voice broke the silence of Ford's room. His twin was looking at him with curious brown eyes covered with thick glasses. He leaned on the doorframe.

Older twin  smiled sligtly, running his polydactyl hands thru grey hairs. Fingers touched silver stripe that cut thru dark grey hairs. He felt suddenly old and exhausted. "Just... Overthinking past, i guess." He patted spot on the sofa next to himself, showing that companion is welcome.

"Pics?" asked carefully Stanley. His mind was still a bit wobbly, but he remembered nearly everything. Definitely good sign. Stan sheepishly sat next to Ford on the sofa. Old matress swayed under his weight and caused, that Ford leaned a bit agaist Stan's shoulder. "What? Oh, yeah... Pictures. Old ones." said author of the journals with sigh while his hands gently folded photos on the lap. "Hehe, 'm probably not in your colection,...  Hey that one... that guy looks cute," chuckled his brother. He pointed at picture of tall smiling boy, maybe a bit older than twenty-one. Long sand blond hair, big blue eyes brightly shining with happines were hinding partly behind small round glasses. That noodle nerd had two daysies tucked behind his ear, big smile on his face. He looked like hippie college student. "Yeah... Fantastic old friend of mine. Wait! It...He is a man. Why do you think he is cute?" suddenly asked Ford. Stan was ladies man. Why he would think something like that?! Stanley blushed. His eyes wondered over room. Now seemed every piece of furniture like super interesting. "Ehh...No comment?" "No Stanley. We should be more honest with each other. We spend enought of our time pushing each other away. I just want to know why do you think that. No judgement, only curiosity." Old man mumbled something. Then he scooted away from Ford. Scietinst seemed a bit concerned. His brother was always the one who wanted to feel the others presence, but this was different. He was suddenly so shy. Ford like physical contact too but only from persons he loved and liked. Stanley was different- he loved patting peoples shoulder, hugging them even thou they were strangers. His attention was like contact sport. And sometimes it could change into one when that person made him angry. Ford's attention thou. It was more about reading between lines. "Pardon, Lee? I didn't understand." "I said... That i dated men too," sighed Stanley. His fingers were twiching. Eyes were trying to burned thru the floor into the heart of the Earth. He made himself look tiny. Whole body curled into himself. Ford's mouth formed into small silent "oh". "'m sorry... Gonna vanish, don't worry." "Are you crazy, Lee?! No vanishing, no going away." "But..." it was strange. Stanley could brake a montain with bare hands and now... He looked so vulnurable. Like scared teen he once was- standing outside in the middle of warm spring night hoping that Ford could forgive him. "But 'm nothing just familly disapointment. Stupid big idiot and even gay..." "If you say it one more time, i will punch you. Without warning! You are not disapointment! You are my best friend i have ever had and best twin brother i could wish for!" "Poindexer, i am weird old fag!" "Probably not. And that is absolutely horrible word, do not use it, please! You did loved Carla, hm." "And some other girls..." admited Stanley with blush of embarassment. "So you are bisexual. You like both." "'m not picky type," shrugged younger brother with hint of smile. He seemed more comfortable now. Hands put on his knees, eyes still sticked to the ground but he didn't look like persone who wanted to crawl under the rock and stay there for next few milleniums. "I am fag... At least that would Pa called me... If he had knew about it..." "That explains lots of things... And highschool," mumbled Stan scooting back so they shoulders touched again. "Pardon me?!" shrieked Ford. "You were curious only about science. And why girls didn't talk to you! Nothing was about girls, only why they kept ignoring you," explained Stan. Ford blinked few times, his face making pretty good impression of confuesed owl. Stanley was smugly smiling: "I've knew the whole time that you are not straight. 'm glad that Pa never knew about it thou. He would kick ya out too, maybe beat ya...Ya would never make it out unharm, on the streets..." "You were the one that ended up there... I can not forgive myself," two big tears started to roll down. Ford tried to dry them with his sleeve. "Poindexter, let it be. We are here, we are good..." "And gay," added Ford with tiny smile. Roaring of Stan's laught filled the room: "YEAH, we are gay! SO ... Who was that cutie? First crush?" His eyebrows wiggled in devilish way. "First crush, first love and only one. He took my heart without asking and never gave it back..." His brother wrapped arm around his shoulders. "You are old sappy man, Ford." "I know. I... Everything could be so different." "What happened?" asked younger twin. He hated seeing Ford depressed. "First time he went back to his family, after a while he had one too. And later when we found each other... Portal happened." "Sixer! I ... I caused...! Did I....?" Stanford grabbed old photos. He hold them on his chest, close to his fast-beating heart. "It was my fault, we had huge arguement and split up. I should have listened to him, but i was the biggest idiot on this Earth!" Stanley suddenly gasped. "You were dating McGucket?! Old man MCGUCKET?! Oh holy hot Belgian waffles!" "Kids aren't home," snarkyly pointed out Ford still carressing his pictures. "In that case- FUCK!" Small smile crept on scientist's face. "May i tell you a story, Lee?" asked Ford. He looked way younger now. Shy blush on his cheeks, still a bit teary eyes behind glasses. But they were light up with memories. "Yep, ya nerd. I haven't heard romantic novel for a long time! Ok i saw one last night. But i want to hear yar romance," beamed happily Stan and made himsleft comfortable. He was now sprawled on sofa, legs streched infront of him, hands folded on his soft belly. "So...Tell me yar fairytale, bro-bro." "Lee you are so silly," nudged Stan's elbow Ford playfully. "Fine. Long time ago... Ok, i am really getting old and silly. We were college roomates. I liked him first time i saw him. He was true opposite of me. Emotinal, empathic, wonderfully talented. His genius was amazing. After a while we got closer and closer. Fidds was so carring, nearly motherly. You should saw him when i was ill. I phoned dad, that i needed some money... to see a doctor, cause i felt really awful. He... shouted at me- to be a man and sleep it off. So i tried it. And fainthed during one of our classes we had together. Fidds did knew what to do, he took care about me. Got me to our room, helped in bed where i stayed for next week barely knowing about world. I don't remember much, my fever was too high. All seemed like a dream. After i got better i found him sitting on the window frame. His eyes were looking into starry night, silently crying. He was aftraid about me whole week and...He finally snapped... We started dating few days later." Ford had tears on his cheeks while he hold old pictures like precious treasure. His hands were clutching them, only gems he had from his past. Someone knock on the door frame. Fiddleford Hadron Mcgucket stood there. He was dressed in jeans, silly shirt with watermelons and drinks on it. He had crazy bowler hat with daisy that kept danggling. Still with beard that could belong to the oldest wizzard in the Dungeons, Dungeons and more Dungeons, but under it was hidden smile. "I swear Stanferd, ma biggest mistake was leaving ya. And i fool made it twice!" Stanley looked at them with squint eyes trying to seem like he fall asleep. "Stop foolin' us, ya'r great conman, but that's horrible try," laugh Fidds hopping on the sofa from Ford's free side. He covered one six-fingered hand with his small one. They fitted perfectly, like two pieces of puzzles. Maybe their hands were a bit cold, but hearts were still aflame with passion and love. "I guess now i've to keep an eye on two nerds," sighed Stanley. "Have fun ya two, i am gonna go to... Don't know. Want a coffee?" "Yeah we will join you," smiled Ford when Fiddleford hugged his waist. "Yej, coffee is great idea pals!" "Gentlemen, we will have gayffee party!" clasped his big hands Stanley and went to the kitchen, chuckling because he liked that new horrible pun. Ford froze a bit and then shouted: "Do not tell this term in front of Mable! Or we all end up covered in rainbow glitters! I don't mind them but i certainly don't like to drink them with my coffee!" "WHO SAID SOMETHING ABOUT RAINBOW GLITTEEEEEERS???????!" "Mabel, calm down! Honey, put that bottle of rainbow disaster down!"