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tobiosmilktea · 4 years ago

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serpentine — kozume kenma

4.2k words | genre/s: fluff | warning/s: cursing | pairing: kenma x f!reader

↪︎ in which nekoma’s new manager captures their setter’s attention

a/n: this was requested by an anon but i accidentally deleted the ask 💀 this wasn’t proofread btw since i’m posting this hella late (atp none of my works are anymore lmao) anyway, the ending is uhh... not good

it takes up to ten seconds for your brain to realize it’s making a decision. you weren’t sure how it all happened considering it didn’t feel like it took ten seconds, and yet somehow, in some way, you agreed to the offer. it was no lingering doubt in your head that you could very well have answered due to the way the third-year manager (all ready to graduate in a few months notice) was looming over you. the look on their face drenched in optimism and a coaxing smile. you liked to think you were a generous person and you couldn’t have possibly said no.

"thank you so much, (y/l/n)!” your upperclassman exclaimed, eyes widening in a bright blithe as they held you at your shoulders and shaking you. “you totally saved my ass getting beat by coach nekomata! see you after school!”

that’s when it dawned at you. were you seriously going to become nekoma’s newest manager for the volleyball club when you had zero knowledge on the sport let alone know how to properly manage a team full of towering individuals? your jaw was basically on the floor as you attempted to plead something back to their current manager, yet nothing was coming out.

you’ve got to be kidding me.

you slumped back at your desk, face still in awe as you couldn’t help but almost felt betrayed by your own selfish mouth that spoke before you could even fathom the task. a sigh escaped you when lunch came to an end and lessons came back in session.

it was no lie that you didn’t really pay attention much in class in the first place. you had a tendency to space out and daydream from time to time with thoughts that serpentine from one idea to the next. however, at one point all you could ever think about was the inevitable doom of having to go to the gym in just a few hours time.

the feeling wasn’t enough to cause an onset sensation of suffocation from nerves, but it was just rather unpleasant knowing that these volleyball jocks would be part of your daily life now.

like a plucked flower petal, your body stood from your seat the moment the final bell rang through the echoing hallways. as if you were moving on autopilot, you hadn’t even noticed how fast you were treading through the hallways. perhaps your nerves were the fuel to your fire as you forced yourself to slow down and mingle into the lightly crowded corridors. perhaps you were glad that your classroom was on the other side of campus from the gymnasium.

you were taking your sweet time and surely they would understand if you were a little late right? granted, it was all too last minute and who knows if you had plans after school or not. spoiler: you didn’t, but that’s beside the point.

at one point, you’ve concluded that you were still walking too fast on your way to the gym despite going at a snail’s pace. it didn’t matter either way as your honey-coated eyes had fallen over the doors of the gym. the right door remained shut while the left was wide open, letting sounds of squeaking sneakers, bouncing white volleyballs, and shouts emitted from the building.

your pace came to a halt just a few feet shy of the door. your hand clutching at your bag’s strap as you waited for a few beats to pass. you weren’t sure what you were waiting for, yet standing there felt like a safer bet more than anything.

“oh there you are, (y/l/n)!” a voice called out to you in the midst of your personal speculation. this forced your attention up to them as you gave them a meek smile. “don’t be shy, come in! let me introduce you to the boys.”

they grabbed you by the wrist, tugging you inside the gym as you shook your head. “uhh, you really don’t have to. i can meet them all later, everyone seems busy right now.”

“don’t be silly!” they wave their hand off like it’s nothing. you follow them to the sidelines of the court, eyes scanning the gym out of instinct—you’ve heard about the many horror stories of those who stopped by and ended up being the target of an oncoming volleyball. a broken nose was definitely the last thing you wanted.

your head turned from watching the volleyball players do their drills as you stopped in front of two bickering individuals. the shorter one with copper brown hair points an accusatory finger at the boy in front of him, the tip of his finger barely reaching the top of the other’s shoulder as he ran a hand through his gray hair. “i swear to god lev, if i hear another word from you i will—”

nekoma’s manager clears their throat.

“oh shit—ha, hey mizuhara.” so that’s their name, you thought. the shorter one greets with a smile, expression all normal as if a complete stranger didn’t just witness him yelling at his teammate.

mizuhara only scoffs, “you’ve always been one for first impressions, yaku, which is why i brought our new manager here in the first place, but i suppose i came at the wrong time.”

“this is our new manager?” the taller one then cuts in, completely pushing away yaku as if his shorter stature weighed like nothing. there was a swift kick in his step as he approached you closer, sticking his hand out for you to shake. man, was this guy tall. “i’m haiba lev, it’s nice to meet you!”

you shook his hand, nodding, “(y/l/n) (y/n).” you introduced before turning towards the poor volleyball player that was pushed out the way.

“yaku morisuke,” he answers without missing a single beat, “i’m nekoma’s libero—”

“that’s why he’s short!” lev interjects and yaku gives him a poisonous look.

you bite back a smile as the libero continues, “don’t be fooled by the height, though, i’m most likely older than you anyway and you look like the type to actually respect your senpais, unlike this guy.” yaku pokes lev.

“are you a third-year?” you ask curiously to which he nods.

“he thinks he can boss me around just because i’m only a first year, but the only one who can give me orders around here is coach and kuroo.” says lev with a smirk that radiated provocation. this seems to be a normal thing between the two of them.

“speaking of which,” mizahara chimed in, head turning towards the courts as your irises scanned for a specific person. “where’s kuroo? i obviously have to introduce our new manager to the team captain.”

“i think he’s still in the locker room talking with the coaches. i’ll go get him,” yaku muttered over his shoulder before walking away.

silence then ensued the trio like a wet blanket, nothing but the lingering sounds of volleyballs thudding against the glazed wooden floors and squealing rubber. everyone in the gym didn’t seem to be too phased by your presence and if they were, they were probably just too preoccupied with their own practice to even spare a single glance.

“so...” lev starts, teetering his weight back and forth as you look up at him. “you’re a second year, right?” you nod, words not wanting to come out. “cool. do you have a boyfriend—or a girlfriend, if that’s what you’re into. i don’t judge!” he laughs then, somehow easing your unease.

“stop asking such personal questions, lev.” a voice calls out from behind him, treading lightly towards you.

the first year shrugs innocently, “i was just curious, cap.”

“yeah, yeah,” kuroo waves him off, “go practice before i double your drills.”

lev nods, “yessir.” before dipping away.

kuroo then gives you a welcoming smile, one that feels quite genuine as his coaches appear behind him. “i’m guessing you’re our new manager in training, right? i’m kuroo if you don’t already know, it’s nice to meet you.”

you introduced yourself yet again, repeating the gesture to coach nakomata and coach naoi. they both radiated a calming, yet serious energy that you weren’t sure to be intimidated by. yet at some point, you shouldn’t even be thinking of such thing considering you would working with them for the rest of the school year and the year after that.

“here, i’ll call the rest of the team over to meet you.” kuroo suggests, his arm already waving everybody down before you could retaliate. “gather ‘round, we have someone you guys have to meet!”

his shout was accompanied by coach nekomata’s shrieking whistle, capturing the attention of the rest of the volleyball team as the sounds of hands impacting the white leather came to a halt.

perhaps that forgotten tingling of nerves had hit you right in the chest like a train the moment all their eyes fell on you. this was not it.

“a girl!” one of them exclaims, hair styled in a strange curly mohawk that charged his way towards you.

“jesus, take it easy yamamoto.” one with a darker complexion and buzzcut says, throwing you a pitiful smile as if to say ‘i’m sorry.’

“sorry, kai...”

you held back a bit of laughter behind your hand.

“everyone, this is (y/l/n) (y/n), she’ll be our team’s new manager.” coach naoi motions towards you, bag strap still clutched within your hands that your knuckles were turning alabaster. “please take care of her well.”

as kuroo opened his mouth to speak, the same one who shouted earlier—yamamoto, you think—cuts in again and says, “are you dating anyone?”

lev laughs from the back of the group, “i already asked her that!”

“but i still want to know!”

“please be respectful or i’m stealing your kneecaps while you sleep.” mizuhara deadpans before motioning for kuroo to speak.

the obsidian-haired captain rolled his eyes in amusement as he began introducing each member of the team one by one, “i don’t want you guys bombarding (y/n), so i’ll introduce you guys myself.” cue yamamoto groaning in disappointment, “the one that keeps asking you such personal questions is yamamoto, our wing spiker.” to which the same man salutes you and gives you a wink. “then there’s kai nobuyuki, our vice-captain. teshiro tamahiko, our pinch server. fukunaga shohei, our other wing spiker. lev and yaku, which you’ve already met. and kozume kenma, our setter.”

your eyes had landed on each and every one of them before abruptly stopping on the last one called. you knew of kenma and his familiar yellow-blond hair. granted, you were in the same year, but he was in a different class and just didn’t really have any interactions besides that one time you two had cleaning duty last year and had to take out the trash together.

the last time you remember him, he was quiet and didn’t speak much, yet there was always a charm within him that had you drawn to him from the start. it was a shame you two never really had a chance to get close.

you wonder if he still remembers you.

meanwhile, the moment your gaze landed upon him, kenma couldn’t help but choke back the rising lump forming in his throat. he surely never thought you two would meet again like this.

the last time he remembers you, you had quite the allure within the way you spoke so nicely. he recalls the way you two first met last year where he offered to take out your trash bag so you wouldn’t have to do work, but you utterly refused. your kind actions stuck with him and despite not being one to talk much in the first place, he couldn’t bring himself to ever speak knowing your lasting presence overran his nerves like a high wire.

kenma’s thoughts are interrupted by a pat on his shoulder, heavy and weighted. his looks over to kuroo’s giving him a sly side-eye as a smirk melted upon his best friend’s visage.

“everyone, go back to practice,” kuroo commands, “mizuhara will take care of the rest.”

a chorus of discernable groans and ‘yessirs’ erupted in the gym as the hoard of volleyball players turned their backs towards you. everything seemed to be back to normal the way the echoing sounds of a run-of-the-mill practice was back in session. and despite the attention no longer being on you (thank goodness), there was still an inkling in your chest of someone’s eyes lingering as you looked back to mizuhara.

“that’s the girl, isn’t it?” whispers kuroo to kenma, practically scaring him out of his unbeknownst trance that was stuck on you.

the setter didn’t answer right away as he twirled the volleyball in his hand, eyes searching the bronze floorboards below him to find an answer he knew he couldn’t find. “it is,” he sighs.

kenma didn’t like lying, anyway.

you weren’t sure how it really happened. you supposed it was just mere fate or purely the universe throwing you a bone that within two weeks of being nekoma’s newest manager, that you would somehow, someway, found yourself glued to kenma’s side for the majority of the day.

it first started off like this: normal. nothing much had changed to your daily school life besides the fact that you stay after school every day for volleyball practice now, but that’s was beside the point. It continued on like this for a few days, until your scanning gaze over the practicing volleyball players almost always ended up stopping on kenma.

it didn’t matter what he was doing at the time whether he was sweating his ass off playing a practice game or simply staying on the sidelines, body hunched over with his dyed hair falling over his face as he played his video game.

unbeknownst to you, though, your stares were everything but discrete. kenma had always been quite skilled at hiding his emotions and looking nonchalant as possible. either that or he just had no filter whatsoever—there was no in between.

at first, the attention would always send his heart spiraling out of control. you were always on the other side of the gym when this happens, and he’s glad for that fact considering you couldn’t have seen the way his hands shivered slightly at the way you looked at him.

don’t even get him started on the way his usual patience ran lower and lower the more his teammates flirted with you. from yamamoto’s blatant disregard of your crystal clear unease to lev’s constant presence around you, had affected kenma more than he had hoped.

god, he hated feeling this way, and yet it was addicting that why you still looked at him regardless.

perhaps it was the only reason why he started reciprocating your sly glances to vie for your attention—granted, he already had it.

the subtle linking of your gazes eventually turned into smiles across the court to kenma finally getting the courage to walk up to you after practice. the sky was dim, shrouded by the last few sunrays of the setting sun as he offered to stay behind to help clean up. usually, he would be one of the first ones to leave the gym with kuroo by his side to walk home, but it didn’t take much for his best friend to know what he was up to.

you were folding up one of the volleyball nets at one end to which the setter reached for the other. he folded along the lines, eventually meeting you halfway to which you could say that’s where it all started.

the blossoming of a new friendship.

something about the way you two complimented each other so much, that the moment you two even started talking, it felt like two old friends reuniting. you felt at home with kenma and he liked being by your side.

you supposed that sensation of familiarity you found in kenma led to your days of shy glances to each other turned into eating lunch together to even walking side by side to practice. you both had a knack for being seen with each other to often, that people started to suspect things. from your classmates to the rest of nekoma’s volleyball team did they tread lightly around the subject. it wasn’t like it was any of their business anyway, but good gossip is always entertaining.

“can you please help me beat this level, kenma?”

“absolutely not,” the setter deadpanned, flicking you a tired look as you two neared the opposing school’s gym.

poor kuroo was third-wheeling a few feet behind you.

the night prior, you and kenma stayed up until the sunlight’s orange hues teased away the shadow of the moon, the quiet night in suburban tokyo was filled with your laughter through your gaming headsets. you two stayed up all night playing video games or simply just talking the night away, bridging over the same gap that had already been filled. surely, it was a terrible idea considering kenma literally had a game the next day, but his only excuse was hanging out with you was much better than wallowing in nervous thoughts, so he digresses.

“why not?” you gasp with offense written over your face as clear as day.

kenma shrugs, “maybe after we win this game, i’ll help you beat it.”

you hum in response, tucking your phone back into your windbreaker as you felt the rush of air-conditioned cold air breeze through your hair. approaching the benches, you quickly greet the opposing team’s manager and coach before situating yourself back to nekoma’s side of the court. mizuhara was already in the process of taking out the empty water bottles and placing them into holders to fill them up.

“i’ll help with that,” you offer as you had already picked up a bottle, but mizuhara waved you away with a smile.

“no, no, i’ll take care of this. you can start telling the boys to get changed and have them gather around coach nekomata.” they say, feet already trailing out towards the water fountains as you nod.

your hand scratched the nape of your neck as you turned towards the boys, mouth opening to speak and yet they seemed to already be one step ahead of you. their red tracksuits were already off and stuffed into the deep ends of their duffle bags—it was obvious with the way their bags bulged from the crammed clothing items.

a sigh leaves your lips, shrugging to yourself as it seemed like there wasn’t much to do when the majority of the things were sorted out already. sitting atop the courtside bench, you pulled your phone out of your pocket, typing in your password as you immediately opened up your game. the real game wasn’t going to be starting for the next ten minutes anyway, surely there was enough time to attempt to beat a level within that time span.

your hands gripped the sides of your phone with eyes focused to each detail the flashing graphics shined upon your face. you were so caught up within your own little world, that the ambient sounds of talking murmurs and approaching footsteps bled together.

kenma clears his throat before dropping onto the bench next to you. he peered over to your screen for a second, almost laughing at how much he had rubbed off on you. he feigned himself from scoffing at the way you hadn’t even acknowledged him, but he couldn’t you. it was technically his fault for introducing you to this game. besides, you looked so adorable with the way you would bite your lip whenever you were at the verge of dying.

you groaned, dropping your arms in defeat as you pouted towards him, “i died again.”

“i can see that,” he amused. rolling your eyes at the look he gave you, you rested your elbows upon your thighs again as you reset the level. however, before you resume on playing, the setter swiftly snatched your phone out of your hand.

for once he had to help you with this one.

“watch and learn, (y/n).”

you huffed at his cockiness, resting your chin upon kenma’s shoulder.

usually, he would find himself tensing at your contact, but lately, he’s been treasuring these little moments with you. kuroo would often catch himself off guard whenever he finds kenma cozying up to you like a kitten. this was definitely not something he would usually do unless of course, it’s for someone he is absolutely in love with. it was obvious the way kenma tried so hard to hide his feelings, yet still failing despite the nonchalant exterior.

if only you two just confessed to each other already, this would’ve been easier on literally everyone here.

kenma seemed pretty confident—so incredibly sure that he would beat this level for you that you couldn’t help but find it the tiniest bit attractive... okay maybe a lot. from the way his fingers intricately worked at the game as if it was second nature. you wondered how in the hell he plays so well, but the hours he puts into gaming was no surprise. within minutes, he had already beat the level.

“holy shit!” you exclaimed in excitement as you pulled yourself off of him, grabbing your phone to look at the ‘VICTORY!’ screen just to make sure it was legit.

the setter couldn’t help but feel the ends of his lips tug into a small smile as he admired the glow in your eyes. he liked it when you looked like this—grinning as if you were an absolute maniac with sugarcoated teeth of saccharine.

you beamed at him, “you’re amazing.”

there is was again, his rapid beating heart causing an avalanche between kenma’s lungs. he couldn’t get used to the way you make him feel. it still felt like the same rising warmth that hugged him like a bear whenever you would praise him or let out a slick laugh. he really liked your laugh. he discovered that about himself the first time he made you giggle over your first discord call together. it sounded like a forgotten epiphany finally finding itself back to him that he wanting to make you laugh again and again. even though the low-quality grain of the microphone, it was enough to ease his yearning to just hold you within his arms.

hearing you laugh over a call was one thing, but it hit differently in real life.

“yeah, right,” kenma scoffs, almost unconvinced. he leans over a bit more, his shoulder touching yours as he tapped a few buttons on your screen. his expression was almost unfazed as you continued staring at him. “you don’t mean that.”

kenma looks back up at you. his lips purse together, forcing the lump forming in his throat when he noticed how close your faces were. his eyes flickered over your features, memorizing them as if this was his last time ever seeing your face. for a brief moment, you felt your heart stop again and again. it punched against your ribcage with such brutal force, you swore kenma could’ve heard it.

you chuckled nervously, taking a deep breath as the words spilled out of your mouth. “i don’t lie to people i have feelings for.”

it ended up being softer than you thought it was. you supposed it was the way you were so careful to approach kenma’s lips, slowly and gently, just in case he wanted to pull away. in fact, you did expect him to pull away no matter embarrassing it may have been. there was such a pouring downfall within you that maybe you were okay with that possibility of him rejecting your kiss if it meant that there was a chance he might return it.

his lips were like velvet when he kissed you softly. even if it was a brief moment of vulnerability, you were both aware of how inappropriate it was to kiss not only your closest friend, but a member of your team just minutes before a game.

you pulled away then, hands slapping over your cheeks to hide the crimson red blush that suspended itself all the way up to your ears. kenma looked just the same, but he simply looked away.

you prayed that the rest of the guys did see—but they did.

kuroo saw it first, having to do a double-take the moment you pulled away from kenma. honestly, no one would’ve noticed if yamamoto’s loud ass shout didn’t echo throughout the gymnasium. as if your sudden humiliation moved like a domino-effect, jumping from one person to another.

you pushed yourself off the bench, hoping your hair would cover your tomato-colored face as you excused yourself to the bathroom.

right as your figure left the gym, the boys immediately ran towards kenma, still in a dazed state. the poor setter’s lips still buzzed from the kiss no matter how short it was. it still sent flickers of electricity through him as kai shook his shoulder.

“since when were you and (y/n) a thing?” he questioned quite loudly.

he acted as if kenma even knew the answer to that. if anything, he was just glad that he was saved by the buzzer as the game was to start. he let out a sigh as he scanned all of his teammate’s expressions, pushing himself off the bench. “don’t look at me like that.”

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awkward-gay-bro · 4 years ago

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A New League

Before the accident Seth Rollins was on top of the world and now he was stuck in this stupid hospital bed. People can say wrestling is fake all they want but these injuries are definitely real. Seth miscalculated a jump during a table ladder chair match and things weren’t looking good. He broke a few bones, pulled a few muscles, a little internal bleeding. Nothing he hadn’t done before. But some news station took it a little too seriously. Then twitter mobbed about it. And now the WWE is taking it way too seriously trying to cover their asses.

Seth leans up in his hospital bed as Vince McMahon walks into the room. “How bad is it Seth?”

“The doctor said I’m never going to be able to wrestle again. He’s full of shit, though. I’ll be back in the ring in no time.”

“We can’t do that Seth, not with you in this condition. Your injuries were pretty well documented, and we aren’t going to take the bad publicity if you get hurt further,” Vince said rather coldly.

“Ten years. I’ve been wrestling for ten years and you are just gonna cut me loose? There are people a decade older than me that are way more worn out still going at it. I’m not ready to be done.” Seth wasn’t about to give up. This was his life and he wasn’t going to give it up without a fight.

“I’m sorry, Seth. Their injuries didn’t make the five o clock news the way yours did,” McMahon said, turning around to leave the room.

The reality of the situation was really starting to sink into Seth. He stared down at his multiple casts, his hair falling down into his eyes, and with a hint of begging in his voice, he said, “Mr. McMahon, I’ll do anything.”

Stopping in the doorway, turning just his head, McMahon said, “Well, there is one thing we could try. You may not want to go through with it.”

“What is it?”

“Well, we’ve been funding a medical research center who has been doing some interesting things when it comes to physical therapy. We wanted to find a way to speed up the healing process or even better prevent the need for one.”

“Did you find one?” Seth said as the light returned to his face.

“Well they have created a process, and they’ve had some success in their initial trials. Of course, the last few of your peers they tried it on had some pretty severe side effects.” But none of that mattered. All that mattered was that Seth Rollins was going to get out of this hospital bed and back in that ring.

“I don’t care what the side effects are. I’m in. As soon as I can.”

“Alright, well let’s get it scheduled on the book. How does tomorrow sound?”

It was the morning after the procedure and Seth was laying in a bed in the research center. Another day, another hospital bed. Seth wiped the sleep out of his eyes, stretched his arms out wide, and yawned a massive yawn. That’s when it him. The aches and pains from his recent injury were completely gone. Hell, the longer persisting ache from his old knee injury, from his previously torn ACL, everything, they were all gone. He hadn’t felt this good since he was 18 years old.

“Good morning, sleepy head.” Vince McMahon was standing at the foot of his bed while a young guy who must have been with the research company started jotting things down on a chart. As the man left the room Seth couldn’t help but notice how nicely the scrubs hugged the guy’s perky little...

Woah, that’s not a thought Seth had ever had before. Nothing wrong with it. He’d caught that closet case Ambrose checking him out in the locker room and it never bothered him. But he definitely wasn’t the one having doing the checking.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling great Mr. McMahon. Does my voice sound weird to you? Never mind, doesn’t matter. I feel so great I think I could get back in the ring tomorrow!” Seth said, speaking a mile a minute.

“Slow your roll there Rollins. You’re going to notice a few changes, so I thought it would be best if I was here to talk you through them all. Some might have already become apparent to you...others might take a little time.”

“Hey the only change I care about is how strong I feel right now.”

“Well Seth, strong might not be a word I would use to describe you anymore,” Vince said with a snide chuckle.

“What is that supposed to mean? I feel better now than I’ve ever felt in my life!” Seth excitedly shouted.

“Maybe it would best if I showed you,” McMahon said. As the 74 year man walked closer towards him Seth started to notice how much bigger and bulkier he was looking than usual. Vince kept in great shape for his age but damn he was looking huge.

“How long was out for? The gains you’ve got...that had to have taken months,” Seth said as Vince reached down and grabbed his hand. Vince’s hand was massive, too, it was almost twice the size of Seth’s. How was that even possible?

“The initial procedure only took about an hour. Everything else happened while you slept last night.” That couldn’t be right though. Vince was huge. And as Seth stood up he saw just how huge he was. Seth and Vince were the same height of 6 ft 1 but Seth wasn’t looking into McMahon’s eyes anymore. In fact, Seth’s eye line was now level with McMahon’s nipples.

“Holy shit McMahon, did you have them do something to you? You’re massive. Can they do it to me, too?” Seth said excitedly. What ever made McMahon so huge he wanted in. Shit, was he already going to grow huge? McMahon said some changes may not be apparent yet.

“I’ve never gone through the procedure, Seth,” guiding Seth to the other part of the room. As he did the cute male nurse from earlier came back into the room, fiddling with something in the closet. From a laying position Seth hadn’t noticed how tall he was either. No wonder those scrubs were so tight around his ass, it must be hard to find ones that fit right.

“Excuse me sir, how tall are you?” Seth asked, ignoring the part of his brain that was ogling the equally tight front of the guy’s scrubs.

“Oh, I’m just over five nine,” he said as he pulled a full length mirror out of the closet.

“That’s impossible, I’m six...” Seth started to say as his new reality started to piece together. Standing there, mouth aghast, Seth finally realized what those side effects were. Seth was a runt. It looked like he had deflated in on himself. He was tiny. His head didn’t reach the top of the mirror. He had to be around five foot four. Being short would be one thing. He could live with short. But he was a twig. His once broad shoulders were now slimmer than this hips. His veiny, hairy, muscular arms were now half the size of what he was used to. When he squinted his eyes he could see there was still a peach fuzz of hair coating them, albeit light, blonde, and sparse. He was just glad that his shapeless hospital gown was sparing him the embarrassment of knowing what the rest of his body looked like.

Not that his face was any better. His signature scruffy beard was completely gone. His face was smooth for the first time since puberty. His once rugged jaw and manly features had softened into an almost angelic visage. His already long hair looked fuller and fluffier on this shrunken body. His lips were full and rosy and his eyes were the only thing on his body that looked bigger. Well, that was until he turned around to see why the cold air was coming through his hospital gown.

Seth had always had a nice muscular ass. He’d seen enough pictures of it pop up online. But while the rest of his body shrunk it looked like he lost no muscle mass from his disproportionate globes and gained a small layer of fat. The globes defied gravity the way the stood up like a shelf on his lithe new frame.

“We don’t want you exhausting too much energy just yet, let’s get you back to bed,” said the male nurse as put his arm around Seth’s hip and guided him back to bed. As the nurse moved Seth across the room his hand brushed against Seth’s cheek which caused both to jiggle far longer than Seth thought they should. Oddly the feeling of another man’s hand on his ass made his wood spring to attention. Seth immediately blushed red as he knew a hospital gown wasn’t going to hide anything and then blushed even harder when he realized it did.

“How...how could you do this to me?” Seth asked, whimpering.

“I told you there were side effects. You said you would do anything,” Vince said, looking down at the much smaller man.

“I said I would do anything to wrestle again. How am I supposed to wrestle like this? I’m ruined,” Seth said, tears in his eyes.

“Well you can’t wrestle in the WWE that’s for sure. Hell, Trish could take you down with one hand behind her back. But you can still wrestle,” Vince said, stifling back laughter as he did.

“Where are on Earth could I wrestle like this?”

“Well like I said, you weren’t the first person to go through the procedure. And with results like these you won’t be the last. Hell, we’ve already made deals with other sports organizations for their injured athletes. The NFL. The NHL. FIFA. Hell even the ATP. And all those athletes are going to want to work somewhere. Soon enough we will have a whole new league for you to wrestle in. Of course, you’ll need a more fitting stage name and costume. Here, I brought someone along to illustrate the look I am going for,” with that Vince stepped out of the room and quickly came back in his arm around a tiny little twink of a man with long curling red hair. The boy had porcelain white skin that was coated with the lightest dusting of freckles from his face down towards under his shirt. His lips were a rosy red made all the brighter contrasted against his snowy skin. His eyes were sparkling an emerald green while his red eye lashes softly fluttered as his wavy curls fell in front of his face.

“This is one of our first wrestlers in our new league, you may know him as...”

“Sheamus??? Is that Sheamus?” Seth interrupted. The boy looked nothing like he 6ft4in brick of muscle but no one had seen the behemoth since he’d had an injury not unlike Seth’s own.

“We call him Lucky now. Lucky, why don’t you step into the bathroom and switch into your wrestling uniform?” With one hand Vince picked up Sheamus’ bag and wrapped his other around the slim of his waste. Sheamus could have easily carried it himself or found the bathroom in the small room but Vince loved showing these former monsters of muscle just how small and weak they’d become.

After a few minutes the new “Lucky” walked out of the bathroom. It was obviously a leprachaun play on the wrestler’s Irish heritage that fit a lot better now that he’d lost over a foot in height. Lucky’s costume had a small little leprachaun hat with an emerald green bowtie. The sparkly green booty shorts rode up showing off the amazing pair of globes on Sheamus’ new body. Sheamus turned around and touched his toes, showing off the glittery gold “LUCKY” that was written across his rear. Seth was used to wrestler’s not wearing much, a pair of black trunks was Sheamus’ old outfit, but this little Leprachaun costume was so much more demeaning...more sexual. Seth had to admit, Sheamus did look pretty sexy standing there, though. Part of him wanted to tear those shorts off and help Sheamus get lucky. But he was realizing a bigger part wanted the old Sheamus to do the same to him.

“We’ve already got athletes lined up to join the program, some pretty big A-Listers who don’t know the exact side effects that come along with our procedure. But until they are ready we think that you and Lucky will be our head line act. And don’t worry, we’ll still have theme matches like in the WWE. Maybe not table ladder chair matches, but I’m sure tag team will still be popular. Maybe something with oil.” Vince said, his mouth watering while looking at Sheamus who still had not broken his toe touching pose. “Sorry, I trailed off. We will need a new outfit for you. A new stage name if you’d like. I am actually prone to you staying Seth Rollins. And I always loved your leather get up, we could definitely still work with that in this new ring. Maybe a leather fishnet combo.”

Shit. Everything was spiraling so quickly. Seth just needed to breathe. He needed to be away from everyone. “When can I go home?”

“We find it best if people aren’t alone right after the procedure,” the male nurse said, “There are a lot of things that are going to be different for you now and it’s best to have someone there with you”

“I don’t want anyone to see me like this. Not right now. I can’t deal with”

McMahon interupted him, “You’re alright. We have already set up accomdations for you. Go get dressed your new roommate is waiting out in the lobby for you.”

*******************************************************************************************

The clothe’s Mr. McMahon provided were embarassing as helll but none of Seth’s clothes fit anymore and he didn’t want to keep walking around with his giant new ass jiggling in the wind so it was that or nothing. So there Seth was in a light pink crop top that showed off just how slim his arms and stomach were now. The leather leggings he was wearing reminded him of his normal wrestling attire, albeit they used to bulge more in the front and a heall of a lot less in the back. The only solice he had was that the lacey pink panties were skimpy enough that the leather pants hid them perfectly.

“Damn that ass looks good,” Seth heard a man say, his voice low and sultry. As he turned around to hear the voice a hand spanks his ass hard, “That jiggle, too! I am so glad I volunteered for this.”

There stood Dean Ambrose. Now a foot taller than Seth and a hundred pounds heavier. Everyone looked big to Seth now, but this was the first time he felt truly intimidated by another man. “Let’s you and me get home Sethy, there’s some things I want to show. I’m pretty minimilistic so I do only have the one bed, but I don’t think you’ll mind sharing, will ya bud?”

“No,” Seth said, drooling as he looked up at he muscular man in front of him.

“Arlight, nice. Once we settle in, you can meet some of your new competition."

#Seth Rollins #muscle theft #twinkification #Sheamus #the procedure #butt growth #fan fiction #my work

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1hotgrl · 5 years ago

Text

Last Time

WELL HELLO UPPER EASTSIDERS!

i have been neglecting my tumblr, why? i don’t know. i felt like this would be a perfect time to get back into telling my life secrets lmao.

i currently feel like im living two different lives at the moment. i talked to a few of my friends about it & i still haven’t decided if its a good thing or bad or if i feel bad or not. at this point, i don’t really care to much. now i know you’re wondering what these 2 lives are. now before i get into this, just know this a judge free zone & if i you’re reading this i obviously trust you. cause lets be honest, no one goes to my tumblr page LMAO. so lets just get straight to be point ...

Life # 1.

i feel free, i feel unapologetic, i feel lit, i feel independent, i feel like lonnaslit. i feel like i can do whatever, be whatever. carefree.

Life # 2.

trapped. domesticated. bored. vulnerable. irritated. thats how i feel when i feel like i have to be in a relationship. i cant be me without feeling like im being selfish.

i came to this realization after spending 4 days in a row with someone. & imma say this ... i cannot live life #2 for more than 3 days, 2 nights .. TOPS. i feel like i be losing my fucking mind. & thats probably why i feel like i can be single for the rest of my life. cause once you go through certain shit & get that experience you get to make a choice or whether you want to continue doing that .. or cut that shit out. at this time in my life i feel like im still going through that experience & im leaning more towards not going through with life #2. there is nothing wrong with being vulnerable but i just literally cannot. lmfao this is also why i say im living 2 different lives cause the nigga dont even know what a tumblr is, niggas dont tweet. niggas kinda uncultured & atp, we cannot have an uncultured mf. period.

in conclusion,

lonnas lit ... life #1 is on reload. (ESPECIALLY AFTER THIS QUARANTINE)

xoxo,

GG.

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bellsadventuresworld · 5 years ago

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Metabolism

You’ve probably heard about a little thing called metabolism that gets a lot of hype in the weight loss world. You’ve probably also heard something along the lines of “I have trouble losing weight because I have a slow metabolism”, “My eating disorder has destroyed my metabolism so I’ll be fat forever”, or even the most cringing of all, weight loss adds boasting: “Boost your metabolism by using this simple trick…”.

With all the propaganda and misinformation posted carelessly online, how do you know what to trust? A simple Google search on the topic can be misleading and overwhelming as research is often long, tedious and conflicting in nature. Below is a compilation of slow, methodical research from scientific journals and other sanctified, credible sources. Please note that the information in this post should never be used as a substitute for medical advice from your doctor. This is simply an attempt to evaluate the correlation between weight loss and metabolism. More specifically, this post is intended to explore what eating disorders do to the metabolism and bust some dangerous myths about increasing the rate of weight loss. Strap in my rexy friends, you’re in for the long haul with this one. Let’s educate ourselves and reach those goal weights! (If this is too long to read in one go, I get it! Book mark it for later and digest in sections)

Note that there is a lot of physiology, systems and different topics that contribute important, valid information to this particular discussion. Without writing a text book sized post I cannot possibly cover all of it. The goal of this post is to give you a brief understanding of metabolism. As I grow this blog I will break down subtopics for further explanation.

Section A: What is metabolism?

We hear about it often but few of us know what it really is or what it actually does. Your metabolism is defined as the sum total of all biochemical reactions that take place in the body over time. This includes basic life-sustaining functions like breathing, circulating blood (I.e. vasomotor tone, heart rate and contractility), repairing damaged cells/ mounting immune attacks on foreign bodies, halting cancerous cell production, supplying glucose to the brain in order to think, and a multitude of other cool, autonomic things your body does to keep you alive. Just like a car, In order to keep a metabolism running we have to supply the body with gas. In this case the currency is the dreaded calorie. Those autonomic functions we just talked about that allow us to laugh over memes or ogle over thinspo have a base need for calories called the basal metabolic rate. Your basal metabolic rate, or BMR, is the number of calories your body needs to survive everyday if you don’t do anything….seriously. All you have to do is lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and your body will burn calories. Pretty neat. Everyone’s BMR is different and is based on factors like height, weight, gender, and body fat percentage. Your personal BMR can be calculated easily online. We will get to why this is important in a bit or maybe in another post, but first we need to finish building some foundation. Your metabolism works like this:

There are two main functions of the metabolism: anabolism and catabolism. To illustrate this, we will describe them as construction teams. Think of anabolism as the building team responsible for installing a new skyscraper. Anabolism is the process that takes protein building blocks synthesized from the food you eat to make new materials and cells to maintain your tissues. Think of catabolism as the demolition specialists. In other words, this team is responsible for breaking down the old skyscraper to make room for the new one. Catabolism is the process that breaks down existing body fat and carbs to recycle into new energy (the bodies chosen energy source is ATP but we will discuss this topic another day as this post is already extremely long). In fact, It is estimated by some researches that as much as 10% of the calories from carbs and proteins you eat are used during digestion, meaning you don’t store those calories as body fat. One by-product of breaking molecular bonds is heat, and therefore catabolism helps regulate body temperature too (hence why most of us are freezing ALL THE TIME when heavily restricting or fasting). So all of this is great, but what does it mean?

Let’s talk about what would happen to the skyscraper if our teams didn’t work right. If the demolition team didn’t have enough usable materials from the tower they torn down to give the building team and no new materials were provided, the new tower would never get built and the project would fail. If there is no excess body fat to burn and no caloric input, catabolism processes begin to attack vital organs, muscle and bone in order to free energy. This is why eating disorders cause your hair to fall out, your skin to chap, become wrinkly and irritated, your bones to become brittle, your organs to die and you to live in a perpetual state of cold. You might be reading this thinking “I’m not underweight yet and I still have some of this happening”. You’re right. You probably do, so what’s going on? The body is really good at surviving on very little (thank you cave man ancestors) and has lots of safety guards in place that are very inconvenient to our disordered approach to weight loss. When we severely restrict and regulate our caloric intake, the brain sends signals to the body that sound all the alarms and we enter a state of starvation (we will talk hormones another day). Just like a chipmunk over the winter who doesn’t know the next time he will find food is, our metabolism gets greedy and stuffs its cheeks with copious amounts of calories to store. This is why long periods of fasting are proven to slow the metabolism and cause weight gain. Other methods like intermittent fasting are more effective weight loss techniques (again we will discuss this in another post). Note that the posts you see about fasting for ten days and losing 20 pounds may be real but are dangerous and unrealistic for most people. At that point in a fast weight loss may become rapid because the body is being forced to use the last of the reserves it has to keep you breathing. Remember that these reserves are your organs and muscle tissue- the things that keep you ALIVE.

Section B: I have control issues- so how do I make metabolism my slave?

Bottom line: You don’t, you can’t, and you never will be able to…mostly. Sorry friends, this one hurts but unfortunately your metabolism is greatly determined by your genetics, body composition, and natural sex…. All things you don’t have control over. It’s obvious we can’t change our genes or inherent sex (even if you transition into the opposite sex, you were still born with hormones and reproductive organs specific to one gender or the other. Your chromosomes don’t change even as you become who you were meant to be). Men generally have a greater proportion of muscle to body fat and therefore a faster metabolism than women. Women generally have a slower metabolism and carry a greater amount of body fat than men because we are tasked with supporting child birth. It’s also important to understand that as we age, our metabolism generally ages with us and slows down. Now let’s chat about body composition. When I was first putting together information for this post I refused to believe that I don’t control my body composition. I mean if exercise more and eat less I will have more muscle and less body fat right? There. I changed my body composition! Not quite… while that statement is true in some regards, that’s not the kind of composition we’re talking about here. We are talking about your frame and body size. I am 5 ft 1in tall and labeled as “petite”. I have a set amount of muscle on my body that is very different than a person who is 6ft tall. Regardless of how good of shape I am in and the amount of muscle mass or tone I have, the 6 footer will always have one up on me. The taller you are, generally the more calories you will burn in a day because you physically have more mass (not fat) to move. The same concept applies to animals. It will take a giraffe more energy than a Chihuahua to move its body every day because the giraffe is 49 times bigger than the Chihuahua. Does this mean the Chihuahua is fat because it uses less energy and burns less calories that the giraffe? Does it mean the giraffe is fat because it needs to consume more calories than the Chihuahua just to get out of bed? Of course not! We can’t compare the two because they are inherently different, but as humans we like to compare everything about ourselves to everything about everyone else. This leads to a lot of disappointment, binges, purges and tears. Trust me, I know this first hand as I’m sure you do too. Understanding your metabolic needs and ignoring others will help you reach that goal weight so let’s stop comparing as it just tears us down.

Section C: Are you sure I can’t increase my metabolism?

Your metabolism can be altered for short periods of time but generally stays at a constant rate. In other words, drinking your black coffee can give you a boost in calorie burning power for an hour or so but will not add significantly to your daily caloric burn. Oh, and did I mention that when the body is used to getting certain foods or stimulants it becomes dependent on the item and it loses its super power? That’s right, not only do you have to drink coffee every morning to function, but that bitter black stuff you force yourself to drink stops boosting metabolism altogether. Win-Win right?

Contrary to popular belief, your metabolism plays only a minor role in weight loss and should not be the main focus of your journey. Instead you should focus on lifestyle choices like what you eat, when you eat and how much physical activity you are doing. At the end of the day, regardless of where our calories come from, weight loss, in a nutshell ,comes down to caloric deficit. You will not lose weight if you don’t burn more calories than you eat. Below is a list of popular ways to “increase” your metabolism as well as the truth behind them.

Myth #1: Exercise boosts your metabolism long after you stop- AKA “the after burn”

Exercise will increase your metabolism in proportion with the amount of muscle you gain. The more muscle you have, the more calories you burn, the faster your metabolism. The concept of after burn is a novel thought that you continue to burn calories long after your work out stops. This is only half true. Exercises that elevate heart rate like swimming, biking, running and high intensity workouts burn lots of calories while you’re doing them but not so much at rest. Metabolism is kind of like breathing. You breathe hard and fast while you’re running and for a few minutes after that but then your breathing becomes normal again. The metabolism works the same way. You may continue to burn an increased number of calories for a couple hours after your workout ends but eventually metabolism will return to a resting state. Keep in mind that your brain, heart, kidneys, liver, and lungs account for most of the energy used in a day as they never get to rest. Exercise is important but is not the main source of energy consumption.

Be sure not to overindulge in calories after a workout thinking you will burn them all off. You won’t. That being said, you do need to refuel the body with some sort of clean protein after a workout if you would like to gain the muscle you worked for. You might be thinking “but I don’t care about the muscle….I care about the skinny!!” I’m here to tell you why you should care.

We aren’t talking muscle like the body builders and Instagram fitness models sport. We are talking lean, functional muscle that is vital for holding your bones together. More importantly, your heart is a muscle and needs to be maintained.

I personally aim to eat a light, healthy meal within an hour after my work out, especially if I trained hard that day. An example of something I might throw together post workout would be a bed of spiralized zucchini with homemade marinara sauce and broccoli (broccoli is high in protein) or a salad with a variety of fresh veggies, toasted nuts or seeds and a light vinegar dressing. If I really can’t stomach a real meal after working out I at least try to heat up a cup of green peas with salt and pepper. The salt is an electrolyte important for muscle contraction and green peas are surprisingly high in protein and low in calories: one cup of frozen peas has about 130 calories and contains 8.6 grams of protein not to mention vitamins A, C, calcium and iron. I like these options because they are low calorie, high volume so I feel full and I am able to sleep without hunger pains.

Eating after a workout also helps avoid binges (have you ever fasted and worked out like crazy? The hunger is 10,000 times harder to control). I cannot stress enough how important it is to avoid a binge, purge, restrict cycle. It wreaks absolute havoc on your metabolism. Eating disorders confuse the body and force it into a state of reduced function so we have to do our best to provide nutrients where we can.

Regular aerobic exercise. Aerobic exercise is the most efficient way to burn calories and includes activities such as walking, bicycling and swimming. As a general goal, include at least 30 minutes of physical activity in your daily routine.

If you want to lose weight or meet specific fitness goals, you may need to increase the time you spend on physical activity even more. If you can't set aside time for a longer workout, try 10-minute chunks of activity throughout the day. Remember, the more active you are, the greater the benefits.

Safety reminder: if you are fasting or heavily restricting (below 500 cals per day), don’t work out. If you feel the need to do something, a simple walk will suffice. You wouldn’t try to run a car without gas, don’t try to run your body without food. Be smart. Life is a balance, learn to listen to your body and hear it when it tells you how much it can take.

Strength training. Strength training exercises like weightlifting a couple times a week are really good for bone structure. You don’t have to left heavy and become bulky, but putting the bones under strain and weight is a good way to strengthen them. Over time, as you continue to lift, the body will remodel your bones and they will become physically thicker around the areas under the most stress. These areas are your joints and connection points. Strengthening and thickening the bone won’t make you appear any bigger then you are, it simply offers protection to your frame. Lifting is good for everyone but a critical consideration for my female Anna’s reading this. Women are already at a greater risk of developing osteoporosis (a painful condition where the bones become weak and brittle and break easily) and adding an eating disorder on top of that more than doubles the risk of developing early onset osteoporosis. Strength training and making sure you are consuming calcium are vital for saving yourself from a lot of pain and irreversible damage to your joints and bones.

Lifestyle activities. Any extra movement helps burn calories. Look for ways to walk and move around a few minutes more each day than the day before. Easy things you can do that help keep you active without having to slave for hours in the gym or eat large amounts to keep up with heavy exercise are as follows.

Taking the stairs more often and parking farther away at the store are simple ways to burn more calories. Even activities such as gardening, washing your car and housework burn calories and contribute to weight loss. When you’re making food or tea, do some calf raises, stretch while reading a book. Movement is medicine. Include it however creatively you can

Myth #2: Eating certain foods can boost your metabolism.

Let me step on a soap box real quick. Friends, you have to believe me! Downing cups of apple cider vinegar, cold water and green tea really isn’t helping as much as you think! And really, who actually likes the taste of pure vinegar? Eating foods like green tea, caffeine, or hot chili peppers will not help you shed excess pounds. Some foods and drinks may provide a small boost in your metabolism that help jump start the body, but not enough to make a significant difference in your weight. Here’s the skinny on some popular metabolism boosting tricks.

Tea: Tea, namely green tea, is a popular go to for weight loss but slow down before you make tea time all the time. Below is a statistic that can be a bit confusing:

“Studies have found green tea contains a compound called epigallocatechin gallate, which may increase the calories and fat you burn. A 2011 meta-analysis published in Obesity Reviews found that consuming about 250 milligrams of epigallocatechin gallate (the amount in about three cups of green tea) helped boost metabolism enough to burn an average of 100 extra calories a day.”

This study talks about how green tea was found to increase the metabolism and aid in weight loss. 100 calories a day seems like a pretty good trade-off for drinking a few cups of hot, naturally flavored water. Buts lets break this down. First, this study was conducted with overweight individuals. The higher your starting weight, the easier it is to drop pounds quickly. Without further research, it’s hard to say if individuals staring at a normal weight or underweight would see the same results. Likely not. Second, this quote fails to reveal the sample volume that was used or discuss moderators of weight loss. In one review of multiple different studies on green tea and weight loss, it is clear that the correlation between dropping a few pounds and drinking tea is complicated by factors like the amount of caffeine in the tea and the ethnicity of the individual consuming the beverage. Caffeine is an appetite suppressant and can likely add to short term weight loss. It’s hard to say if caffeine free green tea helps burn fat as efficiently as caffeinated varieties. Then there is the issue of caffeine dependency and resistance. Just like coffee, eventually the caffeine loses its fat melting capabilities.

I’m not saying not to drink tea. I personally drink a lot of it because I simply enjoy it. I try to stay away from highly caffeinated teas and beverages because caffeine makes me personally feel pretty sick. There is a tea for everything. I do a post about it soon.

Cold Water/cold showers: Okay, let’s talk H2O and ice baths. Water is an extremely important part of life. We hear it every day- drink more water, drink cold water! Stand under a cold shower! Etc. But let’s take a closer look. The act of being cold does cause the body to generate heat which in turn does speed up the metabolism. The human body has a very narrow set of ranges it can survive in known as homeostasis. In order to maintain homeostasis, the body must stay balanced in PH, electrolyte levels, temperature etc. The reason cold water does technically increase metabolism is because the body has to actively burn calories to warm the water up to an acceptable temperature. In cases where you are not consuming the water but instead surrounded by a cold environment, the body induces shivering to mechanically warm itself. Shivering also actively burns calories because the muscles are contracting hard and fast to generate heat. The amount of calories burned by drinking cold water or submerging yourself in ice water is negligible and varies greatly from person to person and therefore is not a great or pleasant way to burn fat. Drinking cold water on an empty stomach can be really painful too, again I know because I’ve tried it. Last thing I want to mention is the danger of ice baths and eating disorders. If you are underweight it can be dangerous to make yourself really cold because your body doesn’t have the energy to keep you warm enough. The result of a core temperature that drops too low is unconsciousness, malfunction of organs and eventually death (that is if you don’t drown in the water after you pass out).

Spicy foods and cayenne pepper: The idea that spicy foods burn excess calories comes from a compound found in peppers and other hot foods called capsaicin. Studies have found capsaicin to burn around 10 additional calories per meal if consumed in high doses. Most people can’t tolerate the amount of spice needed to increase the metabolism by any significant degree, and even if you could, assuming you ate spicy food in appropriate doses at every meal, every day, it would take you about six and a half years to burn one pound of fat (math based on a healthy weight male individual). My point is this- if you like spicy food, by all means eat it, but if you’re forcing yourself to do cayenne pepper and lemon juice shooters in the morning, stop. It’s really not worth it and can cause more harm than help- no one wants burns in their stomach or down their esophagus.

Superfoods: Be careful what you read and trust as reliable information. “Superfoods” are often packed with nutrients, antioxidants and other beneficial compounds but no one food or drink is going to make you thin….especially not overnight. We all hate to hear this but weight loss comes with consistency, clean foods and exercise. Patience is a virtue we can all learn to appreciate on this journey. The 2015 Dietary Guidelines for Americans recommends cutting calories by 500 to 700 calories a day to lose 1 to 1.5 pounds (0.5 to 0.7 kilograms) a week. If you can add some physical activity to your day, you'll accomplish your weight-loss goals even faster and keep yourself out of harm’s way.

Myth #4: Eating small meals during the day increases your metabolism.

Unfortunately, there is little scientific evidence that eating small, frequent meals boosts metabolism. Even though eating small snacks instead of large meals isn’t proven to boost the metabolism, spreading your meals out may help you avoid binging. A more constant intake of food can make it easier to stop once you start eating because the body is no longer worried it won’t be feed for hours on ends. Snacks should contain mostly fruits, veggies and lean proteins. Gold fish are tasty but carry no nutritional value. How much you eat is a factor in weight loss but it also matters what you eat.

Myth #5: Getting a full night's sleep is good for your metabolism.

A good night's sleep will NOT boost your metabolism but neglecting to sleep can trigger weight gain. The chronically sleep-deprived in general tend to consume more calories than necessary, possibly to deal with feeling tired. Sleep deprivation can cause your body to produce too much insulin, which can lead to increased fat storage. We’ve all been there staring into the fridge at three in the morning trying to fight off the urge to binge because we can’t sleep. Sleeping with an eating disorder can be hard. I am naturally an insomniac and sleep very little, so being a hungry insomniac is even worse! The goal is seven to nine hours of sleep per night but shoot for what you can. Some things I do to help with the sleeping issue:

-No napping during the day: If I nap, I don’t sleep period.

-No technology 1-2 hours before bed

-No food an hour before bed: Eating too close to bedtime leaves me feeling bloated and prevents me from sleeping

- Having clean sheets and a tidy bedroom: I find it easier to sleep in a clean environment. I also enjoy sleeping with a weighted blanket

-The bedroom is only for sleeping and sex. I try really hard not to do other activities in my room including playing on my phone, watching Netflix, reading etc. I want my body and my mind to understand that when I slip into bed I wish to sleep, not lie awake staring at the ceiling.

-Daily exercise: like I said, personally I naturally have loads of energy and have trouble sleeping. I find that when I exercise throughout the day it’s a bit easier to catch the Z’s at night. This being said I like to meditate and stretch before bed as well. It’s a nice peaceful way to wind down, calm any nervous energy and banish any negative thoughts that haunt you in your slumber.

-Drinking hot tea: There is no research or Proof behind this one. This is only my observation but sipping on hot herbal tea (un-caffeinated!!) helps me relax and wind down for the night. I like peppermint tea before bed because it is gentle and helps settle my stomach.

Summary:

Weight loss is a hard, frustrating journey- especially when you’re on an Anna fast track. Arming yourself with information isn’t going to make your disorder go away or make it easier to cope with but it can help you restrict safer and understand what it is you are doing to your body. If you have questions, comments concerns or topics you’d like me to discuss in further detail let me know! My inbox is always open to anyone.

As always stay safe and know that you are loved

Bell

Sources

https://www.nature.com/articles/ijo2009135

https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/the-truth-about-metabolism

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/weight-loss/in-depth/metabolism/art-20046508

https://www.rush.edu/health-wellness/discover-health/how-metabolism-really-works

https://medlineplus.gov/ency/patientinstructions/000893.htm

https://muscleevo.net/cold-showers-weight-loss/

#anna #mia #ed #eating dissorder #not pro #knowledge #knowledge is power #ed blog #weight loss

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chelseyroseblog · 6 years ago

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PROPER REST TIME DEPENDING ON YOUR FITNESS GOALS

Hi beauties!

|All Photos Shot By www.rionoirland.com |

I would like to start this by saying that I am currently sitting in a coffee bean, SUCCESSFULLY ignoring my massive craving for a bagel with peanut butter right now…just pretending to enjoy this cappuccino with burnt milk, living my best life.

Also - listening to the new Kevin Abstract album, on repeat. Anyone else a fan? Ugh it’s so good.

ANYWAY - I want to talk about rest periods because there’s a lot of contradicting convos going on and I feel like it would help to just clear the air up a bit.

> I have a lot of clients say they want to get a bigger butt or sculpted arms but they don’t want to lift any weight.

> I have other clients who are so used to the quick fast paced environment of fitness classes that they tell me they don’t feel like they’re getting in a good workout unless they sweat a lot but they also don’t feel like they’re getting any stronger in their weekly classes.

> And I have other clients that I train online that just want to know how fast they should be going. How much rest is too much rest? How much rest is actually too LITTLE? What’s the benefit of longer or shorter rest periods?

WELLLL it all depends on your goals, but you can really think about it in 3 separate categories. Let’s start here:

STRENGTH TRAINING

Strength training of course means using weight but today it holds more meaning than just that. If your goal is to build strength faster, then your focus should be on doing strength training workouts. According to ASSM, if you’re looking to get stronger faster, then the best rest time for you is 3-5 minutes between sets.

Keep in mind though that if you’re doing proper “strength” training then you are doing 1-6 reps per set MEANING that you are using a weight that you can literally only lift between 1-6 times before failure. With that said, it’s pretty clear that whatever you’re doing is HARD and heavy af.

During this kind of training, your body uses phosphagens from your ATP system (Adenosine Triphosphate Phosphocreatine System) in order to produce energy VERY quickly without the use of Oxygen (less than 10 seconds).

BUT your body’s phosphagen reserve is like the shitty street light that everyone hates. It lasts for about 15 seconds then takes 3 minutes before it turns green again.

So we use up our reserve within that 15 seconds while we do our 1-6 reps and then if we wait the proper 3-5 minutes before we try to go again, then we’ll be able to lift more weight, and get stronger, faster.

According to Bodybuilding.com :

In one study, athletes lifted a weight more times in 3 sets after resting 3 minutes compared to when they rested only 1 minute (Kraemer, 1997). Another study showed a 7% increase in squat strength after 5 weeks of training with 3 minute rest periods.

The group that rested for 30 seconds only improved their squat by 2% (Robinson et al, 1995). Two more studies that examined very short rest periods (30 to 40 seconds) found they caused nowhere near the strength gains from longer rest periods (Kraemer et al, 1987; Kraemer, 1997)”

MY SUGGESTION:

If you’re looking to build strength in a specific area (like booty for example) then try adding one day a week of STRENGTH TRAINING. Try doing 5 sets of hip thrusts for 5-6 reps, then rest for 3-5 minutes before trying again.

Follow that up with some complimentary exercises like:

3 x 12 Romanian Dead Lifts

3 x 10 Goblet Squats

And then end with some band work and really chase the burn with:

3 x 30 band walks.

UNLESS - you are a beginner. If you are just getting into weight training then you might want to do a month of training where each exercise is done for a rep range of 10-15 to strengthen ligaments and avoid getting hurt.

2. HYPERTROPHY TRAINING:

Who’s heard of this one?!

Hypertrophy training is what you do when you want to get bigger, faster. The rep range for this type of training is typically anywhere from 6-12 reps.

The rest time for this kind of training is 1-2 minutes because this short rest period causes a greater release of anabolic (growth) hormones than longer rest periods. Resting for shorter periods of time also causes more of a burn in the muscles which I’m sure we’ve all experienced. This burn is the sign of lactic acid building up and the “pump” for lack of a better word, is the blood flow to that area, which is actually a great thing because where there’s quicker blood flow - there’s more protein being delivered to that area as well! Woooo!

I think hypertrophy training is my favorite kind of training. You might be thinking, well I don’t WANT to grow my muscles, and I don’t WANT to get BULKY. Fortunately for you, getting bulky is SUPER hard to do. You may think that your training is making you bulky but chances are, it’s your diet that’s throwing you off. Plus - we don’t have nearly enough testosterone to grow the way that men do.

Guys on average have 300 - 1,000 u/dL whereas females only have 30 - 90 u/dL. We’re like delicate little flowers lol and thinking that we’re going to get as bulky as men is like thinking a little flower can turn into a huge palm tree. It’s just not going to happen, unless you’re taking steroids…then, well…we know what that looks like.

True anabolism from hypertrophy training only last about 48 hours which is why for someone who wants to grow their ass, they need to be CONSISTENT and SHOW UP REGULARLY in order to see the kind of results they’re expecting. If you do hypertrophy training 1-2 times a week then don’t do it again for a week, your muscles are just in a maintenance phase rather than a growth phase.

MY SUGGESTION:

Do 2-3 days of hypertrophy training a week with your 1 day of strength training. I make sure to set my timer during rest periods to ensure that I get going again as soon as I need to… or else I end up getting distracted and taking 5 minute rest periods which is no bueno.

3. ENDURANCE TRAINING:

Endurance training is best for anyone who is looking to increase their muscular endurance. This is what most of us ladies are used to with all the classes that we typically attend. As a trainer I know that if I take a women through a endurance style workout that she’s most likely going to do a great job BUT if I were to take a man though the same kind of workout, it would kill them. Men don’t do as much endurance training as they do strength and hypertrophy.

Classic endurance training is when you use light weights for 15-20 reps and rest for 45 seconds to a minute between sets and it’s biggest purpose is to make your muscles more resistant to fatigue. If you want to start applying true endurance training to your workouts, try doing a 1:1 work to rest ratio or a 1:2.

So if you did the 1:1 ratio you would do for example, squats for 30 seconds then rest for 30 seconds. If you did the 1:2 ratio then you would do squats for 30 seconds then rest for 1 min.

MY SUGGESTION:

Add one day of endurance training to your weekly training regime!

So now you can see why if you’re someone like the old me, you’re wondering why your butt ins’t getting any bigger even though you’re going to Orange Theory and Barry’s every day.

Or maybe you can now see why going to Yoga and doing cycling a few times a week isn’t exactly getting you the toned look that you want.

As women we need to work on not being so afraid of the gym and of lifting weights. We don’t have NEARLY the same amount of testosterone that men do so we can get away with doing the “same” training as men and experience great results without looking like a man.

Also something to note is that you can’t spot reduce (burn fat in one particular area on your body) but you can build muscles in specific areas.

So for me, I might do 2 lower body hypertrophy days a week + 1 lower body strength training day and then I’ll do 1 upper body hypertrophy day + 1 full body endurance day.

My main focus isn’t to grow my arms but I never neglect them and I still use heavier weights than most women. I’d say my arms are strong and toned and not bulky. Before when I was using 2-5 pound dumbbells for my upper body, I had flabby arms. Now I curl with a 40 pound barbell, bench with 35’s, do overheads presses with 25 pounds, etc and my arms have done nothing but toned up.

Just try it and see how it benefits you!!

If you feel like you’re lost or would like some personal guidance in the gym, e-mail me at [email protected] to talk about your goals and get a personalized work out plan!

2 notes · View notes

on-a-permanent-hiatus · 6 years ago

Text

Muted (2/2) [p.p.]

Summary: There comes a time when you don’t want to hear any more.

Pairing: Peter Parker x Ex-BestFriend!Reader

Word Count: 4886

Warnings: angst --> kinda vaguely not sad anymore

A/N:@loserparker Congrats at 3K! @icanalmostbenormalwaitno this was the best I could do :/ I’m sorry.

callyourMasterlist

Deafening Silence (Part 1)

The weekend was your favorite days of the week. There was plenty of sunshine so you could walk around Queens without having to worry about gangs or drug dealers. You could just wander the city, and you liked that.

“Hey Y/N, wait up!” You turned, expecting to see the familiar face that brought you a bittersweet feeling. It was like he was stalking you- but it wasn’t Peter, no, it was Ned.

“What’s up, Ned?” The boy kneaded his hands together, nervous.

“I, uh, I was wondering if you’d like to go out sometime? Like, hang out for coffee or something like that…” You smiled kindly at your friend, but on the inside, your organs were jumbled. It sounded like Ned was asking you out but… no, that wasn’t right. You would’ve seen something- a sign, anything.

“Well, uh, sure, as friends. You- do you want to go now?” Ned shrugged his shoulders.

“That’s fine with me.”

The two of you walked down the street, him swinging his arms, and you feeling awkward.

“Do you want to ask Peter if he-”

“Peter’s busy!”

“-wants to- oh. O-okay.” As friends. You could go out with Ned as friends. Friends got together all the time just to catch up.

The mocha in your hands helped to ease your tension, as did the direction of the conversation.

“So, uh, how’d you get Peter to talk to me again?” you asked, trying to break the ice.

“What?” Ned questioned as he looked up from his bagel.

“I- I mean, Peter said you called him out… said he was depressed so he reached out.” Ned abandoned his food, confused.

“I didn’t- I mean, Y/N, I didn’t say anything to him.” Now, you were confused.

“But he told me- are you sure, I mean, uh, nevermind.”

And now, you were past the point of confused.

✶✶✶

Peter was annoyed. This stupid game was taking up so much of his time- it was so annoying. And Y/N… He didn’t need this right now.

The New York air was cold against his suit, but he didn’t feel it. The city below seemed to bustle with life, but underneath it, all, death and pain spread like the plague. So many horrible things were happening right now, Peter realized. Somewhere in the world, a man was being beaten for his beliefs. Elsewhere, a woman was being sold into slavery for something she couldn’t even control.

And right here, in the very city of Queens, there was probably a stolen purse making its way through the city, or maybe, a boy had to walk home with a bloody nose and two black eyes. Ther was nothing Spiderman could do about it now, though.

The night was over, and the streets were as safe as he could hope for. Men had been beaten up, girls had been walked home, and he was done.

Peter slipped through his open window quietly. Even if Aunt May already knew he was out, he didn’t want to wake her. He pressed the seal on his chest, releasing the material. He threw it towards the bed, and-

“WHAT the heck, Ned!” Peter cried, jumping back. His best friend sat on his bed, an unimpressed look masking his face.

“I should be asking you that.”

“What? Ned- what are you doing here? What are you talking about?” Ned stayed motionless, seated on the edge of Peter’s bottom bunk, as the hero slipped on some loose clothes.

“You can’t do this to Y/N, man, it’s not right.” Peter sighed and rolled his eyes.

“It’s just a game, Ned. She’ll be fine.” Ned crossed his arms at his friend.

“Seriously? That’s what you’re going to tell me? Man, she loves you!” Peter looked at the ceiling.

“What?”

“Dude- she took you back in like a day! You don’t do that for someone unless you love them! Especially after what you did to her.” Peter sat on his chair, across from his friend.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he snapped.

“Peter, she’s gonna hate you after this, you realize? You’re gonna lose your best friend for-ever, That’s- that’s a really long time,” Ned explained, using his hands for emphasis.

“Stop- no, Ned, you’re my best friend. Not Y/N.” Ned shook his head.

“Nah man, I’m your friend, and I’m a pretty dang good one, but Y/N, she’s on another level. Sure, I’ll be your reason to talk to her, and yes, I know you used me as a reason to talk to her, but she gave you another chance after two years of silence. ”

“How did you even find out-?” Ned cut him off.

“Just- Are you sure you’re willing to do this to her?” he asked, one last time. Peter furrowed his eyebrows.

“Stop talking to me as if I’m throwing my life away! This is my chance to fit in, Ned! I’m sure I can do this, I’m sure!” Ned looked at Peter skeptically.

“Yeah? That’s not the feeling I got when you told me you’d never talk to Y/N again because you wanted to ‘protect her.’” Peter groaned.

“Yeah, well that was before!”

“Before what?”

“Before she turned into this huge- huge distraction! She’s not good for me, Ned. I can’t get her out of my head. It’s interfering with my schoolwork, my internship, everything! I missed three robberies in just this week because I couldn’t stop thinking about her!”

“What do you mean you ‘can’t get her out of your head’? That’s what you’ve been doing for the last two years!” Peter groaned, frustrated.

“Yeah, well it was different. She didn’t ask any questions, and it was for a good cause. It was easier to cut her off because I knew it was the right thing to do!”

“So you admit you’re doing the wrong thing by playing this game?” Ned challenged.

“Argh! No, that’s- that’s not what I said!” Peter dropped his head onto his desk, taking a few deep breaths to collect himself.

“So when you’ve finished with your game you’re just gonna drop her again?” Ned asked, voice calm as if he was soothing a baby. Peter picked up a few rubber band to tinker with them.

“That’s the plan, I guess.”

“Peter! That- That’s not allowed!” Ned exclaimed.

“Sure it is.” Ned shook his head.

“No. it’s not! Not for some… vigilante like you! You- you have a crush on her, for god’s sake!” Peter dropped the bands on his desk.

“I do not! And I’m not a vigilante, I’m a hero!”

“You do, Peter, you’re just afraid to admit it! A hero does the right thing, even when it’s hard! What you're doing now- it’s not the right thing.”

And then, Ned left.

✶✶✶

Biology wasn’t your favorite subject. In fact, it might have been your least favorite. You just couldn’t understand. What was the difference between the endocrine and the lymphatic system? When were you ever going to need to know how ATP energy was created?

“Alright class, today we’re going to be picking our partners for the semester. And no, I’m not that mean, you guys can choose yourself!” The classroom erupted in cheers, but you slumped in your seat. I have to work with these animals?

Maybe you weren’t the best at the subject, but you’d rather take your chances.

“Hey, Y/N, do you wanna be my partner?” You looked up into the hopeful face of Ned Leeds.

“Um, sur-”

“Sorry, man, I already asked Y/N if she wanted to be partners, and she said yeah. But MJ doesn’t have a pair yet! Go talk to her,” a voice suggested. You rolled your eyes.

“You most definitely did not ask me, Peter Parker.” Peter laughed.

“Okay, well then, Y/N, wanna be my partner?” You smiled.

“I don’t know.. I’ll have to think about it…” Peter smiled back at you.

“Okay class, now we’re going to start our first lesson today!”

“Wow.”

“What?” you asked.

“I know you were bad at bio, but I didn’t know you were that bad.” Peter laughed. You glared at him and slapped his shoulder.

“Shut up!” He just kept laughing. “Peter!”

“Okay, okay!” He stifled his chuckles as the two of you walked to lunch. The air was still awkward, you supposed that was something that would take time, and walking into the lunchroom, you weren’t really sure where to go.

“Well, uh, I’m gonna go…” Peter looked at you funnily.

“Go where?” You stopped.

“To my eating place..?” you said, unsure. It wasn’t really an eating place. It was more a flat piece of asphalt that was big enough and shady enough for you to sit down with a lunch box.

“Are you talking about that corner, back by the tennis fields?” You didn’t say anything because yeah, you were. “C’mon, I’ll sit with you.”

It was dark outside. Clouds lined the sky, and they cast a dark shadow on the world below them. It was mother natures way of telling you Peter was a bad idea, but you, like a stubborn child, refuses to listen.

“Ned?” It was the third time he’d sprung himself on you, but there he was, lunch spread out on the asphalt, seemingly waiting for you.

“Oh, hey, Y/N, I was wondering if it was okay if I ate with you today.” You nodded slowly.

“Of course, it’s fine.” Peter gave his friend an exasperated look. And they stared each other down.

“Um, okay, so what have you guys been up to?”

✶✶✶

You didn’t know when you realized that Peter Parker was attractive. But he was.

The thoughts came to you out of the blue. You would be writing an in-class essay and then you’d think, Wow, Peter’s hair is really pretty.

Or maybe it was while you were waiting for some chicken broth to boil for dinner. You know, Peter actually has really nice cheekbones.

And it wasn’t just his physical traits that you found appealing. His sense of humor was hilarious. He was always there, whether you wanted it or not. And he was really polite. Like pull-out-your chair-and-open-doors-for-you polite.

They were like little puzzle pieces, each one thrown at you randomly until you had enough of them to realize the big picture. The picture of Peter… and you… together.

“Y/N?” Peter’s voice broke you out of your thoughts. “Are you okay? You spaced out for a second there.” You composed yourself quickly, bringing your attention to where you were at the present.

“Yeah, sorry, just thinking about things.” Things like how pretty your face is. Peter nodded in understanding.

“Right, well, this is my station,” he said as the train squealed to a stop. You nodded blankly. You liked Peter Parker. You liked Spiderman. You like Peter Parker.

Man, you were in trouble.

✶✶✶

You supposed Ned was trying to warn you. He was still your friend. Sitting with you at lunch, offering to be your partner in Biology, the friendship dates, everything pointed at infatuation. But Ned was smarter than that. He was smarter than all the other children that filled your school. He was trying to protect you.

You should’ve just gone with it, now that you looked back. Spared yourself the pain and heartbreak, and just played along.

You always thought that the public library was a safe spot. It was a place you could go to hide your secrets and no one would ever hear you.

But apparently, other people thought the same thing.

You were on the second floor of the building, deep within the ‘historical religious anecdotes’ section. You were hidden away between the shelves with the books you’d brought with you from elsewhere in the library, a stack of Jane Austen books, with Pride and Prejudice being on top.

“Hey, don’t forget what you said you do!” A teasing voice broke you out of the world you had immersed yourself in.

“Leave me alone, Flash.” Flash? And… Peter? “I’m not gonna play your stupid game.” Yes, that had to be Peter. You wouldn’t miss that voice, you knew it anywhere.

You were unaware of anything around you. Your head was buried in your book, but your focus was on the two voices.

“C’mon Parker, I thought you weren’t a pussy!” You cringed at the foul language, not because it was foul, but because it didn't describe Peter.

“I’m not! But- but I’m not finished yet.” There was a pause and you strained your ears to hear.

“Looked like you were done to me. Admit it, Penis. You’ve fallen for the girl. You like Y/N.”

You had to cover your mouth to keep quiet. Peter liked you? Emotions ran through you. Anger, happiness, hope, fear, nervousness. Anger because he hadn’t said anything of the sort to you. Happiness because you might like Peter Parker too. Hope because maybe it wasn’t platonic for him either. Fear because what if Flash was bluffing? And nervousness because you’d finally come to terms that you maybe had feelings for the boy that had ignored you for two years, and your feelings were fragile.

“Shut up, Flash! I don’t- I don’t have a crush on Y/N.” Your heart pounded in your ears so loudly you were surprised the two boys couldn’t hear it.

“Yeah? Well, then why haven’t you dumped her yet?” Your mind whirled, going a hundred miles an hour, like a rocket leaving the atmosphere or a cheetah catching its prey. What was going on?

“We’re not dating.” You could practically hear Flash’s eye roll.

“Yeah, okay, fine, if that’s your endgame. But remember, when you do end up sweeping her off her feet, this is just a game.”

What?

Some entertainment.”

Flash’s voice was getting closer. This can’t be right.

“A dare.”

And the book was pulled from your hands.

Your glossy eyes were met with a smirking face and a hanging camera.

“Y/N,” Peter whispered, and you looked at him. His face showed horror, but you’d already figured it out. This was a game to him. You were nothing but a dare, a stupid quest that he wanted to complete.

“You really got her good, Peter. Look at her! She’s even crying!” Sure enough, your vision blurred.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. This wasn’t the life that you were supposed to live.

Flash laughed, keeping his cell phone camera trained on you. “Man, this is gonna go viral!”

“You- you knew she was here!” he realized, and Flash smiled.

“Well, duh. This was the plan, remember?” Peter didn't say anything. There were no words to reassure you, no words to refuse anything that Flash had said.

There were no words needed when someone spoke the truth.

Everyone stared at you. Peter, Flash, the thousands of eyes behind the camera. You took it back.

‘Pussy’ was the perfect word to describe Peter Parker.

✶✶✶

Chills ran through your chest. Your eyes stung and the colors of the city all streaked together You furiously wiped at your eyes, but your tears were like a hydra. Wipe away one, and two more took its place.

You didn’t want to cry. It wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth it. But you couldn’t stop. You couldn’t make yourself stop because it hurt.

It hurt that he’d wanted to be your friend again just to drop you again in a month. It hurt that he thought you were naive enough to fall for it. It hurt that you were naive enough to fall for it. It hurt that he thought that your relationship was just a game because you thought it was real.

Two videos had been posted earlier that day. One of you, and one of the game. You were lucky it was a weekend because you weren’t sure if you wanted to show your face at school.

You sat emotionless in front of the TV. Nothing was playing, just static. Maybe it would drown out all the questions that were swirling around your head. A fast series of knocks attacked your front door. You closed your eyes and went upstairs.

An hour later, and you still couldn’t sleep. Music played in your ears, but somehow, the universe wanted you to be sad. Every song you played reminded you of Peter.

And then, you saw him swinging onto your roof, a sad look on his face. You put the other earplug in, walked to your closet, and shut the door.

It was a good thing that you’d locked the door to your room. The constant rapping of knuckles on wood was annoying at first, but the gentle vibrations eventually persuaded your eyelids to fall.

“Y/N, I know you can hear me.” No, you couldn’t. And you turned the music up louder. “You’ve gotta let me explain.” These stupid earbuds didn’t work.

“Has she still locked herself in there?” Your mother’s concerned voice cut through the thin walls. Oh no. You paused your song.

“Yeah.” Peter didn’t get to talk to your mom. Your sweet mother, who didn’t know anything was wrong. He was guilty here. He was the antagonist of your perfect story. He didn’t deserve a happy ending. “She won’t talk to me,” he said, voice laced with intent. He knew you could hear him. His stupid super hearing knew there was no more music coming from your headphones.

Your mom sighed. “I’ll go get the key, you just wait here.” Your eyes widened in horror. You wanted to go out and stop her, to tell her ‘No!’ but you knew Peter was out there, just waiting to catch you. She shouldn’t have let him in the house.

The next best option was the roof. You burst from your closet, propelling yourself across the room to your locked window. The lock was easy to undo. A quick flick.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Dang it. “It’s not a short drop from this height.” Your shoulders dropped. There was no escaping now.

“You would know, hmm?” There wasn’t really a good answer to that.

“Look, Y/N, I need to explain myself. I- I messed up.” You looked at the tree on your front lawn. Green and happy and healthy.

“You’re talking like you cheated on me. It’s not that big a deal. I don’t know why you’re blowing this out of proportion.” This wasn’t the path you planned on leading this conversation down. You were going to yell at him, and he was going to apologize, and you would probably end up crying but now… well, if your mind wanted to play the ‘emotionless’ card, you could follow that groove.

“Huh? What do you mean?” Your eyes rolled unintentionally, but you supposed it added to your act.

“I don’t care, Peter.” That should’ve been the end of it. He should’ve packed up his things and left you alone like he’d been doing as of before last month. But, no.

“I don’t believe you.” You looked up to your ceiling, your patience growing thinner by the second.

“So what?”

“So you deserve an apology!” This boy was grating on your last nerve

“I deserve a lot of things! I deserve a best friend who sticks by me! I deserve to not be lonely for two years! I sure as heck deserve an apology, but insincerity will get you nowhere. Realise that it doesn’t matter if you don’t mean it.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N, and I mean it.”

“No, you don’t. Because I thought you meant it when you said you wanted to be my friend again and look where that got me.”

“Y/N… what can I do to prove it to you?” You looked him straight in the eyes.

“Nothing.”

✶✶✶

You didn’t expect to ever see May Parker again. You had dropped Peter just like he had planned to drop you, and you thought that was it. It was the end of a story, the death of a relationship.

It had been a few weeks since you gotten your heart practically broken, and the school year was coming to a close. You figured, once the summer started, the dirt would set, and going back wouldn’t be an option.

It turned out, being wrong was starting to become a trend of yours.

“Y/N, the Parker’s are coming over for dinner, tonight! Come down to help set up the table, okay?” You choked on your own saliva.

“What?” you yelled down the stairs. There was no reply. Your mom probably thought it was a rhetorical question.

The Parkers were coming over for dinner. Maybe it was other Parkers. You smacked yourself. Of course not, you didn’t know any other Parkers. It was okay. The Parkers, that was just May and Peter.

Oh, Peter.

Was it possible to will yourself into oblivion? To just disappear for a while?

In the corner of your desk, there was a pile of letters wrapped in a rubber band. Each one addressed the same way, with the same bubbly handwriting you dreaded seeing and no return address. You hadn’t opened any. On your phone, there was currently one blocked number. Who’s it was, well, that was pretty obvious.

You’d been avoiding Peter for nearly a month. You guessed your parents thought it was time to end what they considered to be a childish spat.

Why did adults have to be so social? Dinner had ended forty-five minutes ago, yet your parents still had the female Parker entranced with their commentary. “Why don’t you take Peter up to your room, Y/N?” Oh, god.

“You didn’t respond to any on my texts. I started sending you letters.” You raised your eyebrows.

“You actually expected me to give you the time of day?” Peter furrowed his eyebrows, and you cursed yourself for thinking it was cute.

“I was apologizing. I was wrong.”

“If you’re just figuring that out, I don’t know if you deserve my forgiveness.” Peter looked like he was in physical pain.

“It was game at first.” You averted your gaze. Really, you didn’t need to hear this.

“Save it, Peter.”

“At least it’s not ‘Parker’,” he mumbled under his breath. Speaking up, he said, “I lost.” It caught you off guard, the two simple words.

“What do you mean?”

“I lost the game, the dare.” You supposed it should’ve made you happy that he didn’t get to play you in the end, but instead, it just made you more confused. He didn’t sound disappointed at all. “I lost on purpose.”

“I don’t understand.” Peter took a seat on your bed.

“Eugene didn’t know it was void.”

“Eugene?” Peter shot you a small smile.

“Flash’s real name.”

“Oh, okay.”

“The dare… Well, I should probably start at the beginning. I- I went to Flash’s party, maybe two months ago. We played that ‘totally fresh’ game of truth or dare. And… And he dared me to, uh,” Peter scratched the back of his neck. “He dared me to, essentially, break your heart.”

“You should’ve won by default,” you said automatically, before slapping a hand over your mouth.

“What?”

“Nothing!” You hadn’t meant to say anything. Now you’d gone and messed everything up. Peter’s eyes bore into you like a power drill.

Finally, you gave in. “You broke my heart a long time before that party.” You thought, maybe if you said it quietly enough, he wouldn’t hear you, but your streak was annoyingly dependable. If you couldn’t count on anybody, at least you could count on the fact that you were always wrong.

“Y/N…” You sighed to yourself.

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” When did this flip from you wanting to end a friendship to said friend feeling bad for you? “Why was it void?” A blatant attempt to change the subject and Peter knew it, but he explained nonetheless.

“I- I think I have a crush on you, Y/N.”

Boom. He completely dropped a bomb.

Was it too late to go back to explaining why you were heartbroken? Now would be a perfect time to be wrong again. Instead of your brain being stupid, maybe it was your ears this time. Anything to change the conversation.

“What? Woah, I, uh, I think you need to back up a few millennials.” Peter sighed.

“I thought you weren’t good for me,” he admitted. “I actually said those exact words to Ned, and he told me I was being stupid.” You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, just like to ‘called you out and said you were being depressed?’ You know, he told me he had nothing to do with you talking to me again, so who knows when you’re actually telling the truth.”

“Forget that Y/N, it was a ploy, but everything else wasn’t. Nothing, er, I guess I should say I haven’t been trying to trick you for a while, now.”

“Sure, okay,” you humored him.

“I thought I didn’t like you because I couldn’t get you out of my head.” That’s funny, you couldn’t get him out of your head either, no matter how hard you tried. “Ned said I had a crush on you.”

“What a coincidence.”

“What?” You cleared your throat.

“I said ‘you’re a mess.’” Peter shot you a sideways glance.

“No, you didn’t.”

Raising an eyebrow, you challenged him. “What does it matter? What did you even come here for? Did you think that spilling your god dang heart out would make me pity you enough to give you another chance?”

“Look, Y/N, I know that I was wrong. But everyone makes mistakes, right? Everyone deserves a second chance!” You bristled at the statement. He didn’t have any right to say that to you.

“I waited for you, Peter. I waited for you for two years! Do you know how hard that was? How broken I became? And now, now you come to me asking for a third chance when all you’ve ever done with my love is throw it away!” Were you angry? Sad? Confused? You weren’t sure if you knew the answer to that anymore.

“I don’t know what that was like, and I’m sorry I made you go through that, but if we could just talk about it, if you just gave me an opportunity…”

You could see it now, the pieces of your heart spread on the floor like shards of broken glass. They were like dust, littering everything you laid your eyes on. Small, beating pieces, all crying out for something.

You could see yourself bending down to sweep them up. They pricked your hands, drawing blood, but you continued to gather them. A handful of your heart, broken and beaten and shattered. Some specks were lost in the wood of your floor. They were gone forever.

And then, like magic, they found each other. They drew together like iron filings to a magnet, forming a vague shape. There were a few holes here and there, a couple of cuts and some bruises, but grasp it firmly in your hands.

This little thing, no bigger than your fist, this was you. It was smashed in and then put back together, but it was still beating. Ba boom, ba boom, ba boom. Faint as it was, it was still there.

“Please, Y/N.” You looked up at the boy in front of you.

You saw his heart in his hands, the posture mirroring yours. But his looked different. His looked painful.

At a glance, it would seem perfect. The perfect heart, the perfect person. But if you looked closer, there it was. A growing black cavity, eating at the shape from the inside out. Growing by the second, like an uncontrollable tumor. An icy blue front surrounded it. To most, it would look like it was preserving the organ, freezing it so that it would be perfect forever. But Peter knew, all it was doing was making it cold and brittle. Hard enough that one tap would break it like glass.

The two of you had a lot to talk about You had a lot of questions to ask, and he had a lot of answers to give. But at that moment, you both held your hearts in your hands.

Your hands were still, gripping the organ like the lifeline that it was. His were trembling, like he was afraid to touch it, afraid that it to squeezed too hard, it would disappear. You had received a beating the last few years. He had received a disease.

You were both so vulnerable. You could reach our right now and smack his offer to the ground. You could break him worse than he’d ever broken you right now. You could- but you couldn’t. Not to Peter, you could never.

You looked into the eyes of the boy in front of you. Two orbs the were the doorway to Peter’s entire being. They were wide open for you. He’d opened himself to you, and he’d offered his heart. All this as a simple peace offering.

One last look down, at the beating that rested in your hands. The cracks momentarily paused their destruction. Your heart was what was left of a town after an earthquake, and it was waiting for an aftershock. You weren’t sure how much more it could take before it was broken beyond repair.

Ba boom.

And then, you gave him your heart.

Favorite Line? Other requests? Feedback of any kind?

#peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #spiderman imagine #spiderman x reader #loserparkers3k #spiderman fanfiction #peter parker fanfiction #spiderman fanfic #peter parker fanfic #x reader #marvel #spiderman #best friend!reader #sorry i think this was worse than the first part

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seokjinsonlyone-main · 7 years ago

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Renaissance

this is the photography!harry piece based off of this request:

hello! can you do where harry is a photographer and he needs a model for an upcoming project or something so he asks y/n since he couldn’t find anyone. and during that process, both developed feelings towards one another.

Y/N liked to sit alone in the dining room. She didn't like to watch people eat or have others watch her eat. And, she definitely wasn't a fan of small talk. Or talking at all. She didn't like it because she wasn't good at it. She wasn't good at it because she didn't do it. She didn't do it because she didn't like it. It was a vicious cycle, really.

This wasn't to say that she didn't have any friends because she did. Those who bothered to stick it out past her social awkwardness and the unnecessarily high walls she built around herself usually were there for life. Said friends, however, refused to wait for her to get out of class and went to eat somewhere else without her. Since she didn't have a car she was left to fend for herself in the dining room. Which she didn't mind as long as she was left alone.

Apparently Harry Styles didn't get the memo. He was this real sweet kid she saw around in the arts department a lot. They were both fine arts majors, but she specialised in painting and sketching while he specialised in photography. In their first couple years they had a few general ed classes together, so she was friendly whenever they came into contact with each other but they weren't friends. That was why his sudden presence at her table was so perplexing. They were wave from across the hall close not sit with each other at lunch close. She looked up from her plate, slowly finishing a mouthful of carbonara, eyeing him suspiciously. "How... may I help you?"

He flashed a big, bright smile at her which was honestly a bit off-putting. "How are you doing, beautiful?"

"I'm fine... just, ya know, trying to get some ATP." He looked at her with a blank expression. "Adenosine triphosphate... Like, cellular energy... that comes from– ya know what? Never mind. I'm a nerd. Why are you trying to butter me up?"

He sighed. "I know we don't talk often." She raised an eyebrow at him. "...Or, at all, but I need to ask you for a favour."

She patted around her mouth with a napkin in an attempt to stall time. She wondered why he couldn't ask one of the other million people he knew. Why did it have to be her? Why couldn't her friends have waited for her to get out of class? She figured hearing him out wouldn't be the worst thing ever, though. "Well, I can't guarantee I'll do it, but what is it?"

"I'm working on a project, and I need a model. My last one flaked out on me."

Her eyebrows drew together. "Why?"

"She found out I wasn't paying," he pouted.

She puckered her lips. "Oh. Sorry."

"It's fine. Anyway, I'm doing, like, a modern recreation of renaissance art. And, I really really really need your help."

She squinted her eyes at him. There had to be something he wasn't telling her. She was more than certain that he could convince any other girl to model for him. She knew at least three girls who had a legitimate crush on him, five girls who wanted to get in his pants, and really any living creature could be charmed into doing it once he batted his eyes in their direction. The dude was beautiful. "What aren't you telling me, Styles?"

He winced at the question before blowing raspberries into the air. "Are you... familiar with... The Birth of Venus and Venus of Urbino?"

"Of course I am," she responded immediately. When he didn't say anything, she thought back over what he just asked her until the gears in her brain were fully turning. Her eyes widened. "You want me to pose nude?" she whisper shouted.

"You wouldn't actually be showing anything!"

"People would be able to see my face! And, I'd be showing everything else. It ain't that hard to connect the dots. No, absolutely not," she said, shaking her head.

"I could crop the picture at your neck!" he bargained.

"Venus of Urbino is lying down!"

"I can figure something out! Please."

"Harry..." she sighed thoroughly exasperated. She wished he would let it go and move onto another person. "I know a bunch of girls who would willingly throw their clothes at you. Why me?"

"For that exact reason. I don't want someone who wants to get in my pants. I want someone who's as serious about art as I am, and honestly you're just about the most passionate person I know. I always see you in the studio hours after everyone else has gone back to their dorms. Plus, you have a 4.0, and I think that's, like, the coolest thing ever. I'd really like to collaborate with you."

His confession stunned her. She always thought she slipped under everyone's radar. Not that she was trying to, she just got so into her work that she didn't really make time for anyone else. And, in her classes that didn't require studio work she usually preferred keeping to herself. It wasn't that she straight up ignored people, she just didn't go out of her way to make friends. It was better that way. People came and people went. It minimised the damage. She figured that people saw her the same way she saw herself. "Well, alright," she shrugged.

"Really? I asked your friends and they said you probably wouldn't do it. I had four other bullet points to try to convince you and a backup plan that I was fully prepared to use," he said, ending with his jaw slightly dropped in a state of disbelief.

"First of all, don't talk to Niall and Louis about me. They're knobs. I would know. They're my friends. Second, I agreed because you seem to have some sort of vision. A lot of people ask me for my help and want me to do all their work for them." She smiled tightly at him wanting this whole exchange to be over with, so she could come to terms with what she agreed to.

"You don't have to worry about that with me," he replied, smiling brightly, suddenly getting super excited. "Oh my god, I can't believe you said yes!" He rounded the table and pulled her into a hug.

She immediately seized up in his arms. She didn't mind hugs, but she usually saw the moment coming and was therefore prepared to lean in. He quite literally picked her up out of the chair. She could feel eyes burning holes into the back of her neck. "Okay, okay. You're welcome. Please put me down," she mumbled into his neck.

"Let me get your number!" he chirped, handing her his phone.

She input her number, then called her phone so she would have his number in return. "Just... text me whenever you're ready to…do this whole thing."

"I will, and thank you so much again." He kissed her on the cheek before making his way out of the dining room, enormous grin still plastered on his face.

Her heart skipped a beat and her entire face flushed at the action, as she brought her hand to the area his lips had been pressed to. She immediately fled the room, not wanting anyone who she was friendly with to question her about what just happened,leaving her wondering what she just got herself into. --- She clutched her bag tightly as she checked the time on her phone for the fifth time in the past minute. He was five minutes late, and she was considering going back into her dorm. That was, until she saw him running toward her, gasping.

She let out a sigh of relief and irritation. "You're late."

"I know. I know. I'm sorry, just–" He held out his finger, asking for a minute, bent over gasping for air. "I was setting everything up and lost track of time."

She decided to forgive him this time. "It's okay, I suppose. Just... don't let it happen again, please." She stared at him finally regaining his posture. The building wasn't that far away. He looked fit, but she guessed he wasn't as in shape as he appeared.

"Why exactly do you need an escort to a building that's like a ten minute walk away? You can literally see it from here, and there are street lamps."

"Yes, because street lamps deter crime,"she said, rolling her eyes and nodded her head toward the path so they could start moving. After they had been walking for a minute or so, she answered his question. "I may be feisty, but I'm still a princess, Harold. I have a general distrust for the human population, and I refuse to be another statistic. That is why I'm on a first name basis with at least eight security guards and the escort service has my schedule posted and my number on speed dial. It's a service I've used liberally ever since I've been a student here. That's actually how I met Niall."

"Then why didn't you call him?"

"Because you're a nice, tall, fairly built guy who I'm practically posing nude for. Figured it's the least you could do. Also, I didn't tell them I agreed to do it. They're absolute pests with big mouths."

He shrugged his shoulders, releasing a chuckle. "Fair enough. By the way, my name isn't Harold."

"Hmmm..." she murmured mindlessly, "Guess you have a new nickname then." They spent the rest of the walk in relative silence which she was grateful for. She knew she agreed to do this and she wasn't going to back out on him, but she was nervous. She'd never done anything like this before and she hadn't planned on doing it ever... in her life. She hoped to god that he actually did come up with something. She let her thoughts consume her so much so that she didn't realise they arrived at the building until Harry gently touched the small of her back causing her to jump back like she'd been shocked.

"Sorry." He motioned for her to follow him, holding open the door to the studio art building. "I understand why you need escorts. You zone way out."

She shrugged in return. "So, have you found out a way to– ugh..." she cut herself off when she noticed the sign saying that the elevator was out of order. She was going to have to walk up six flights of stairs. She guessed that's why he was so out of breath when he came to get her. "Anyway, I was wondering if you found a way to shoot me less... naked?"

"I actually have."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm. I'll show you when we get upstairs."

She nodded as relief flooded her veins. She spent the next few minutes focusing on pacing herself as they climbed up the stairs. She didn't want him to see how winded she could get when she reached the top. Her asthma didn't help the situation. Once they reached the top (with minimal wheezing), she thought about how un-awkward she felt standing next to him, walking down the hall. Whenever she was around people she didn't know that well or at all, she always found it extremely awkward and didn't know how to carry herself. Don't get her wrong she felt awkward, but nowhere near as much as she usually did.

It may have been because of the few text messages they exchanged during the week or the fact that he specifically sought her out and begged for her to work with him, but she didn't feel her usual level of discontent around him. It was weird. She didn't notice she almost walked past the room until she stumbled backwards, caused by Harry's sudden grip on her hand.

"Seriously, you pay dangerously little attention to your surroundings." She shrugged as he held the door open for her. He had some finished photos hanging on a clothes line, but before she could check them out he cleared his throat. "So, we have two options for the shoot." He was holding up a skin toned body suit in one hand and a skin toned bra and panty set in the other. She slowly walked toward him. "Whichever one you prefer is fine with me."

She eyed them cautiously then took the body suit. She was about to go get changed before a thought struck her. "Wait, which one do you prefer?"

He shook his head. "I just want you to be comfortable."

"I'm never comfortable. I live in a constant state of awkwardness, but I know you have a vision for this thing. What do you want me to wear?"

He rolled his lips together. "I think the more skin showing the better. Like, they celebrated the body back then, and if you had the, um," he coughed, "the bra and, um, panties... it would be easier to catch the more feminine lines of your body." He gently skated his hand up her side in demonstration and admiration and she nearly melted inside.

She nodded her head furiously, sending him a tight smile and going to change into the two piece. "Then that's what I'll do, innit?" She exhaled heavily once she was behind the partition he had set up. Generally speaking, she strayed from physical contact. It made her uncomfortable because people made her uncomfortable. She didn't trust many, so touches were few and far between. Never would she have imagined something to send shivers down her spine in the glorious way Harry's touch did.

When Y/N stepped out from behind the partition, she looked around the room in search for him. She found him fiddling with his camera and tripod, so she cleared her throat to make her presence known. He didn't know how to react when his gaze landed upon her. The most he could manage was opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water. "I know I don't have, like, the best–"

"You're beautiful," he blurted.

She could feel the heat racing to her cheeks. She was at a loss for how to respond, but she knew continuing to stand there in way less clothes than she was used to wasn't working for her. "So... The Birth of Venus, yeah?" --- After she changed back into her clothes, she wasn't sure what to do. One of the little voices in her head was telling her to bolt due to some leftover embarrassment from being half naked with him. Another voice was telling her to at least see if he needed anything else before leaving. She decided to listen to the latter. After all, it hadn't been that bad. She had to give Harry credit. He was extremely professional and made her comfort his top priority. She made her way out from behind the changing screen and shuffled over to him. "Ummm... I was just gonna..." she pointed to the door, "unless you needed anything else?"

He directed his attention away from the monitor which she assumed held the shots he'd just taken. He pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth. "I know I said I just wanted you to model for me, but, uh, could you take a look at some of the other photos for this?"

"Sure..." she agreed. He pulled up a chair next to his in front of the computer screen. "I can just... click through?" He nodded and she began carefully studying each photograph, happy to be in her comfort zone once again.

Photography might not have been her forte, but she took a semester of art history and was an artist herself. It was sort of a happy medium for her. She couldn't help noticing Harry in her periphery, toying with his lip, taking turns looking between her and his pictures. She took pride in the sense of humility she drowned herself in, but the pictures he took of her were her favourite. One was of her grabbing a robe. He scanned it into another picture he took of a bathroom so it looked like she was getting out of the shower. The window in the bathroom was open and he had a fan blowing during the shoot, so it looked like the wig she had on was being blown in the wind. She knew it wasn't finished, and it was quite simple but also very intriguing considering the painting it was based on. The other was of her laying down on a couch messing about on her phone. It wasn't as symbolic as the first, but she loved the way he played with the lighting. It looked good. She snuck a glance at him when she was sure he wasn't looking directly at her and couldn't help thinking that he looked better than all of his work. She got lost in her thoughts, as per usual, and accidentally locked eyes with him, then coughed to cover it up. "These are great, Harold."

His lips quirked up in a timid smile. "Thank you."

"There is one, though, that needs a bit of editing."

His smile turned into a pout. "Which one?"

"The knock off Raphael."

"Hey," he whined.

"You know what I mean." She clicked through the profile until she got to his interpretation of The School of Athens. "Just, like, the perspective is kinda wrong."

"What do you mean?" he asked, inspecting the photo, obviously not seeing what she was.

"Well, like, that's kind of the main point of this picture. Like, that's why it was so famous. Your detail and everything is impeccable, but the thing that made the original so great was the fact that it has a single focal point ranging from the arch and that's where everything's placement stems from."

He cursed under his breath, slightly panicking. "I don't know what I'm going to do. The assignment is due at the end of the week."

She kinda wanted to leave. She felt bad that she essentially ruined one of his shots. The tension was making her sweat. "Can't you just... fix it?"

He ran his hands through his hair. "I usually prefer not to edit my photos. I have no idea how to photoshop on the level it would take to fix this entire shot."

She stayed silent, yet another war waging in her head. She could help him with it, but that meant she'd have to spend even more time with him and she had these sudden feelings swirling about in her stomach that were making her feel. It was weird. Still, she blurted out, "I can," without the consent of her brain.

"You can?"

She shrugged, trying to play it cool, "I minor in digital art. I've taken quite a few photoshop classes."

He pulled her out of the chair and into his arms, hugging her tightly. "You are a lifesaver. Oh my god. Thank you so much." She wrapped her arms around him. "I'm so... I could kiss you right now."

It scared her how much she wanted him to. --- Y/N was alone in the studio department for the first time in over a week. She'd given up quite a few of her extended hours in favour of helping Harry complete his project. She spent the past couple of days working with him to edit his photos and showing him how to photoshop for future reference. After spending so much time with him, she was finding it even more difficult to focus than it usually was. Her mind was riddled with thoughts of him. Every time she got in a groove, she would think about how he nuzzled his face in her neck when they hugged, or how he smelled lightly of mangoes from the body wash he used or how he could only stand the silence she needed to work efficiently in for so long and would start humming, or how he walked her back to her dorm each time they met up and would make sure to have her on call, making dumb jokes, talking about any and everything, the entire time he walked back to his dorm, as per her request so she could know he was safe. It was a little disconcerting.

She didn't get this way. It was rare for her to get crushes. She didn't even need a whole hand to count the number of people she had feelings for in her entire life. She was okay with that. More than okay. It allowed her to throw herself into her work, yet she had been mixing the same two colours together in her palette for the last ten minutes. An unexpected knock on the door made her drop her paintbrush on the floor. She whipped her head around, finding the curly headed boy she'd been assisting to be the culprit. "You scared me," she breathed out.

"That's nothing new," he chuckled. "Why are you here so late and so jumpy?"

"Uh, I have extended hours because of my ADD. They let me use it after everyone's gone to get work done."

"Ahhh..." he said walking towards her with his hands stuffed in his pockets. "I didn't know you had ADD. Is that why you're really jumpy, too?"

She shook her head. "That would be the anxiety induced paranoia."

"How come you don't just come in earlier, so you won't have to be here so late?"

"I mean... to be honest, I'd rather die," she deadpanned.

He burst into this loud, squawky cackle that made her heart skip a beat simply because she was the one who caused it. He sucked his lip in between his teeth once he regained his composure. "I'm not, like, disturbing you am I?"

She shook her head again. "Nah. I haven't been very productive today."

"Because of the ADD?"

It wasn't, but she couldn't tell him it was because she couldn't get him off her mind. "No, actually, I've just been... having a problem with the colour scheme." It wasn't a lie either. She thought she was going to do this particular piece in a black and white monochromatic style, but she found herself trying to recreate the exact colour of his eyes.

"Ahhh... well, I saw the light on and figured it was you. I wanted to let you know that I submitted the pictures."

"Yeah?" she smiled and he nodded. "You'll have to let me know how you do, although I'm sure you're going to ace it."

"Fingers crossed," he replied and the two were left in an awkward silence. Neither one of them knew what to say or do next. "Well, I'm just gonna..." he nodded his head toward the door, but didn't exactly make a move.

She didn't want him to leave, but couldn't bring herself to let him know that. Instead, she waved timidly at him, mentally face palming herself.

"Alright then, I'll... see you. Have a good night."

He started walking away, and disappointment flooded her system. She turned back to her work space, wanting to begin painting once more, but it was like her brain could not process anything other than the fact that Harry was walking away. "Actually, can you..." she blurted, whole face scrunching up, then turned to face him to see he was seconds away from being out the door but stopped once she called out to him. "Umm... if you don't mind, could you– maybe– help me with this? Just, I've been looking at these for so long I think I need a second opinion.

"Sure." He smiled brightly, agreeing immediately.

It made her wonder if he was looking for a reason to stay, as well. She sighed before fetching the other pieces of her collection. She was completing the last one. "I was going to do this one in black and white, but now I'm not so sure. Like, I want it to have colour, but I don't want it to be in full colour." She launched into the entire concept of the collection she had created probably giving way too many details, but she couldn't help it. Once she got talking on something she liked, there was no stopping her. She noticed how intently he listened to her even though she was rambling. It was beyond endearing.

When she shut up, he slid behind her pressing his front flush against her back. "Is this okay?"

"Yeah," she croaked, twisting her neck to look directly at him.

He skated his hand down her arm pointing out possible spots that she could add pops of colour to, but in all honesty she didn't hear a word he said. She was too focused on how she could feel each breath he took against her back and how pinpricks of electricity shot through her whenever his hand grazed hers. Not to mention the fact that she never actually stopped looking at him. The shape of his mouth as he talked art to her was overwhelming and she catalogued the colour of his lips into her mind because she wanted to add that to her painting too. "Y/N?"

"Hmmm...?" She was still caught up in memorising the planes of his face, so she didn't actually process what he was saying.

He looked down at her with a slight smirk on his face. "You didn't hear a word I said, did you?"

"Uh uh," she mumbled.

He turned her around in his arms so she was facing him and slid his hands down to her hips, pulling her flush against him once more. "Is this okay?"

"Mhm." Her breathing was getting tight as they stared at one another. She slid her hands up his chest, resting one on his shoulder and using the other to cup his jaw.

He leaned into her touch, nearly purring at the gentle way she handled him. He rested his forehead against hers. "Can I kiss you?"

Her throat dried up. She tried to say something but ended up just nodding, not being able to form words. He bumped her nose with his, stalling, savouring the moment, feeling their breath intermingling. Her heart was beating out of her chest and just as she was about to lean in sealing their lips together Louis burst into the room.

"Oi! Oi! It's 11:30, loser!" he yelled. They jumped back from each other immediately. "Why'd you tell me to come get you if he was going to be here?" he said, a couple seconds later when he spotted Harry. Both of them were too shaken up to respond. Louis looked between the two of them suspiciously. "Did I... interrupt something?"

Y/N snapped out of the haze she'd been trapped in ever since Harry walked in the room, hustling to place her paintings back on the rack. "No, no. He was just giving me a second opinion. I'm ready."

He raised his eyebrows at her, still eyeing them. "You sure?"

She nodded, scrambling to get the rest of her stuff in her bag. She began following him out the room before she remembered that Harry actually was still there, rubbing his thumb over his lips, trying to come to terms with what almost happened. "Just give me a second, yeah?"

He rolled her eyes at her, but made his way outside the room nonetheless. She rushed over to Harry, rolled up on her tip toes, and pecked him on the lips before she lost her nerve. "Text me when you get home, so I know you're safe, okay?"

"Okay," he replied dumbfounded.

She shot him a smile and walked out of the room. She breathed out a sigh of relief when she made it into the hallway. "Harry Styles, huh?" Louis prodded, waggling his eyebrows at her.

"Shut up," she chided.

"I can't wait to tell Niall." --- Exhausted wasn't the word to describe Y/N. She had to pull a couple all nighters, so her collection could be submitted on time. It was worth it, though. She was more than satisfied with how everything turned out. She was even more satisfied with the fact that she could take a nap guilt free, which was exactly what she planned to do until she heard knocking on her door. She contemplated ignoring it, but the knocks wouldn't stop so she reluctantly peeled herself away from her bed. She gained a little more energy when she saw that it was Harry on the other side of the door, smiling from ear to ear.

She coerced herself into hyperfocus to finish her work, so she hadn't really seen him except in passing since the night he submitted his photos. Admittedly it had only been two days, but they kind of left things on something like a cliffhanger. "Harry,what are you doing here?"

"I got an A on my project."

"Get out!"

"And my professor liked them so much that she submitted them to the art show and I'm up for an award now."

She launched herself at him. "Oh my god. I'm so happy for you!"

He giggled. "I couldn't have done it without you." He nuzzled his face in her neck and they became entranced into the same reality that overtook them the other night. The reality where they were the only two people that existed, that mattered. It was only her and him. He pulled back just enough so that he was able to hold her face in both his hands, brushing his thumbs acrossthe apples of her cheeks. "Can I kiss you?"

"Please," she whimpered.

He leaned back in and enveloped her lips with his, suckling lightly on her top lip before running his tongue across its crease silently asking for entrance. She followed suit immediately, letting him lick into her mouth at a tender pace, leaving her breathless, wanting more when he pulled away. "Let me take you out," he implored, voice barely above a whisper.

"You wanna take me out?" she inquired, catching her breath.

He nodded. "You're just about the coolest person I know. I've been crushing on you for forever. Let me take you out."

The butterflies in her stomach fluttered wildly. "Okay."

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ilovesport2121 · 3 years ago

Text

What Are The Best Tennis Footwork Tips?

Roger Federer was once interviewed by Charlie Rose after winning the 2004 U.S. Open. In the video, he was asked why his game looked so graceful. Without hesitation, Roger cited his footwork as the single most important factor in his game – for beauty and effect.

Specifically, Roger said, “The key to exploring my potential is improving my footwork…It’s always what I’ve been working on.”

During the interview, Roger kept coming back to footwork. In my opinion as a coach, tennis player and critic, footwork is the single most important factor in determining a player’s success in tennis.

I say this because it doesn’t matter how good a player’s strokes are, if his footwork is lacking, he won’t be able to place himself into position to hit effective shots. If we look at the best players on the ATP tour in today’s era (Djokovic, Federer, Nadal), they all have the best footwork in the game.

It’s no coincidence these men have consistently dominated the game for the last 15 years either. If you want to improve your tennis game, nothing will do so faster than bettering your tennis footwork.

But what does tennis footwork exactly mean? We hear so much about it but it’s quite a nebulous term which is rarely clearly defined. Let’s do that now.

I can break up footwork into four distinct stages. Each stage is important and crucial to hitting great, powerful shots.

Attaining the optimal position – Getting to the spot where the striking of the ball takes place. Planting of the feet – placing the body into the proper firing position. Harnessing momentum – pushing off the ground, thrusting the torso and generating the necessary momentum to propel the arm into the swing. Recovering – returning or moving to the best location on the court. I’ll go through all four stages in detail shortly. I can tell you for certain that the best players blend them seamlessly together. They do so all match long and repeat the process over and over during a point.

When a player can use his footwork so quickly and efficiently, often and oddly, it goes unnoticed by the casual observer. What remains is a virtuoso of perfection on the court with the final punctuating shot riveted as the last memory in the viewer’s mind – not the footwork.

Stage 1: Attaining the Optimal Position

This stage can be the most difficult of all four for beginner and intermediate players to achieve correctly. This is because most people use inefficient movement to reach the ball.

Furthermore, most people set up to close or far away from the ball. However, when done correctly, getting to the spot where you can strike the ball should set you up perfectly for stage 2.

There are only three ways to move to the ball in tennis. The first is by taking a cross-step and then shuffling (or side-stepping) to the ball. This is the most commonly used technique by players.

A first cross-step and shuffle is primarily done when moving laterally but can be accomplished when moving backwards and forwards as well. This is done for balls not too close or far away – but at a middle distance.

By doing so, we can save time and put ourselves into a better position as we reach stage 2. This is the reason why professional players rarely looked rushed when hitting shots and amateurs often do.

Stage 2: Planting of the Feet

By virtue of stage 1, we should now be in the ideal position to hit the ball. In this stage (# 2), we stop our feet (if only for a second) and plant them to the ground.

Why would we do this? Because all power is generated from the ground up. It’s true for every sport and tennis is no exception. In order to use the ground, we need to have our feet firmly planted on it.

We then bend our knees and push off the ground to create energy for the swing. As we plant our feet we must also rotate our body what’s called the power position.

This is a position where our racket is back (or loaded) and our torso is turned to the side. This position creates torque and kinetic energy that can be released into the shot.

Unfortunately, many club players (especially those 4.0 and lower) fail to achieve enough torque to hit truly powerful shots. This stems from improper technique and the discomfort required in torquing the body.

I believe this stage is of huge importance when it comes to hitting very powerful shots. Both feet need to be planted firmly on the ground and the body torqued well past 90 degrees in the shoulders.

Stage 3: Harnessing Momentum

At the commencement of this stage, the body and racket will have completed the setup to strike the ball. Think of stage 2 as being a loaded gun or a crossbow pulled back into the final position before being released.

In stage 3 we execute the forward part of the stroke. This is done initially by pushing off the ground with both feet. However, it should be noted that most of your weight will be on the back foot.

This is so because we want to distribute our weight from the back leg to the front leg in order to transfer our body weight into the shot. You’ll see every great player do this on every basic shot in tennis (forehand, backhand, serve and volley).

As the legs push off the ground, the torso begins to rotate towards the net, releasing the stored kinetic energy it achieved in stage 2. The last part of the swing happens from the arm, which more-or-less goes along for the ride.

The major mistake most club players make here is thinking the arm is the primary source of power when it’s the legs and torso that really do the heavy lifting. The arm should be loose and flexible, snapping forward from the momentum of the body.

If a player never achieves an ideal power position and pushes off from the ground, then the arm is left to do the work. This results in a labored swing and slower velocity shot. Such players can never seem to generate power no matter how hard they swing.

This is because the legs and torso play a huge roll in how hard the ball is struck. If the legs and torso only play a small factor in the swing, the arm must work extra hard to compensate. This approach can tire a player out over a long match and result in weak swings.

Stage 4: Recovering

After the ball is struck and the player completes his follow through, the next and final stage is to move again. This time it’s a movement to the best location on the court to set up for the next shot.

Experienced players rely on their anticipation to move to the ideal spot to hit the next ball. This can mean moving in any direction and any distance, just depending on the situation.

Often, you’ll see a player like Djokovic (who has the best footwork in the game) immediately move to a different spot on the court after completing his follow through. He seems to always know exactly where to go.

This comes from years of playing. Beginner players often stand in the same position after hitting a shot or move only a couple of steps. This usually puts them out of position for the next shot in the rally.

If you’re unsure of where to go, a good rule of thumb is to get back to the middle of the court. In general, it’s best to play slightly in back of the baseline or inside the service line (if you come into net).

The movement in stage 4 is similar to the movement in stage 1. You can shuffle back, cross-step and shuffle back, or just run. The quicker you can reach the ideal position to set up for the next shot, the easier the game gets. It’s also more difficult for your opponent to cause an unforced error on your part.

Summing It Up

Ideal footwork requires technique, anticipation, and willingness to put in the work. Most players with great footwork are constantly in motion, taking as many steps as they need to place themselves into ideal hitting position.

The next time you watch a professional tennis match on TV or in person, take note of the footwork of the players. Instead of watching the ball or the strokes, notice how much the feet are moving.

Then compare that footwork to yours – if you’ve ever videoed your play. You’ll probably notice a big difference. One of the reasons I’m better than I look on camera is my footwork.

While my strokes weren’t honed at a prestigious tennis academy in my formative years, I make up for a lot of deficiencies with my tennis footwork. My college coach instilled it in me early on and I’ve used it religiously throughout my playing life.

Due to being in great physical shape and having a light body weight (150 lbs), I can move nearly as well as most professional players, despite being in my mid-40s. I’m actually known for being a great mover (more than anything else) and dazzle people with the balls I can track down.

I do this by utilizing the four stages of footwork I outlined in this article. If you’ve never given much thought to tennis footwork, I hope this blog post sheds new light on it for you.

While this article is by no means a comprehensive guide to tennis footwork, I hope it gives you food for thought and motivates you to improve your foot movement on court.

Thanks for reading. If you wish to leave a comment or question, please do so below and I will respond.

Don’t forget I have a ton of great blog content on here to improve every aspect of your tennis game. Use the search feature to find what you’re interested in.

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cow3survivor · 4 years ago

Text

Episode 1 Pt. 2: “Playing a Game With A Fresh Slate” - Jessica

SAM

https://youtu.be/gmZlNel3IZM

JESSICA

We did it! We won immunity! Shout out to Sammy for making the flag that won us the advantage and Pete for doing so well in luck! Also in 6 hours or however long it has been since my last confessional, I have decided I do like Sam and we will align. So I guess I want to align with everyone except Madison... hopefully if we lose she is out first!

JABARI

So our tribe is heading to tribal and I'm very nervous because anyone can go atp. I need to make sure that isn't me.

JENNET

we flopped that :(( and i think i may be one of the reasons :( trying my best to not let anybody know im upset but as tribal council looms closer im getting worried

(a little later)

im trying not to throw anybody under the bus but i think that im voting out nash :(( they havent been super active and they havent texted me back since i texted them so it just makes sense to boot them :((

(after eating some rice)

voting out another black woman weighing heavy on me :( i hate that its coming to this

PETE

our tribe had a celebratory discord call which only consisted of like 4 or 5 people but i joined later after everyone left anyways i had a long nice chat with Sam in which i found out he hosts an in person survivor with his friends at home and hes nice ANYWAYS he apparently, like me, is cursed to forever be a premerger. So from here on out i solemnly swear to never vote for Sam during the premerge phase fuck yeah

JAKE

https://youtu.be/aVQKOOrapj0

remind me tomorrow to chill out and take a back seat on the vote lmaooo

PENNINO

Going to tribal i feel like i'm pretty much safe. I feel like that 4 minutes was a good time for the easy jigsaw, but Ethan getting 1.5 minutes is almost impossible. Assessment on my tribemates Jabari: Seems like a nice person, has talked more and has been much more active, I think she has gotten herself off of the chopping block. Jake: Still a nice person, but has lost some activity during yesterday. Possible Ally still Jennet: Nice, active enough, not a target Jones: Not very active. A bit of a target. I will most probably to vote her to be say. Lindsay: Very active, we talk to each other a lot, nice person, possible ally Mikey: Nice person, nothing much, not a target Nash: ˆˆˆ Nicole: ˆˆˆ, but not as active Silver: Active, nice person, but he doesn't respond to my dm's that much, but, still, a possible ally. I feel pretty good about this tribal honestly

JONES

https://youtu.be/2UtH-dnv0i4

SAM

https://youtu.be/lzZOK2CxsA4

MIKEY

WELL HELLO LADIES. SO SO SO SO SO! Instead of rambling Ill just get on with it. Starting off, Me and Nash REALLY freaking connected. Like they’re so fun to talk to!! BUT. They’ve been inactive. and so Pennino is now going around spreading their name, and basically everyone is saying sure why not. This SUCKS because Me and Jabari wanted to make an alliance with them and jake, but now we are faced with a problem. We both have basically decided that instead of Nash we are gonna drag in Peppino. I brought that idea up because me and him are both the youngest people in the game, and I really wanna go far with Peppino. My goal this season is to beat a bunch of adults and make them feel angry that a 15 year old outsmarted them. Its so funny! Anyways besides that, Im feeling good about that 4. I wish it wasn't Nash going home, considering the only other name out was Jones, and I woulda much rather did her, but you know that's how the cards fall I guess. A bad bitch is done with tonights confessional. A bad bitch is now gonna press submit. A bad bitch says GOODBYE ASF!

SILVER

https://youtu.be/JLwZRNesRHI

LINDSAY

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1YF3mYJfYIq_2Qco8EQYq3JowyMSbin8M/view?usp=sharing

NASH

im crying i have no idea whats going on!!! HKDHEJDHW all i know is talk to mikey and play 8 ball with nicole

(a little later)

ETHAN

Charan's Hot Confessional Questions

<a:dance:777952213808447519> 1. Give us a Trust Rankings of your tribemates! Who are you bonding with the most? Who are you bonding with the least? I trust Shane the most, and right now that’s because he is the only person that is actively strategizing. Besides that, I feel the most amicable with Jessica, lovealis, and Daisy who are wonderful people. Unfortunately both Cloud and Madison have made 0 effort with me and are generally inactive with me. <a:dance:777952213808447519> 2. Have any alliances formed on your tribe? If so, how loyal are you to these alliances? If not, do you think there are alliances out there that don't include you? There are no alliances that I’m in that have been formed, but I suspect there are some out there. Alliances without me are ok, I just need to know about them, and if there are any right now, I don’t know about them, and that’s concerning. <a:dance:777952213808447519> 3. How did your first Safari experience/run go! Did you get any closer to finding an idol? I WILL NEVER FIND ANYTHING IN A LUCK BASED SYSTEM <a:dance:777952213808447519> 4. Explain why Ryan and Charan are hotter than you A fact of life... these two slay.

LOVELIS

So things are going okay on the tribe so far! The first immunity win was rather nice & I like being able to have a bit more time to read people until were thrown into the pressure of a tribal. So far I’m definitely clicking the most with Shane and then probably Jessica but the time zones are getting in the way a little - just glad I have more time to really click with people and try and cement a place for me in this tribe. I think my contributions to the challenges have definitely helped my standing but not everybody is being super social with me so that’s a little bit of a worry - just gonna have to go ham at bothering people in private messages until they respond I suppose! 🤪

MADISON

Hi beautiful humans!!! I wish I had tea for y'all but we've won 2 challenges in a row and I really don't see the grind stopping in the foreseeable future so the tribe is kinda just vibing which gives me a little bit more time to build relationships which is a blessing and a half. I always get extremely paranoid the first week in games so the fact that I know for certain I won't be first boot is amazing!!! Tribe bonding is scheduled for tonight so hopefully by next round I'll have an alliance or 2 (maybe even the idol if I'm feeling really lucky)

JENNET

Last night really lit up a light in me. it sounds like everybody wants to work with me which is good so im now newly excited to play the game

SAMMY

okay okay okay so I would do a full out cast assessment but I literally just can not do that rn...so let's talk about who I vibe with most and who I have made like strong connections with so far! Initially, both Daisy and Jess have declared I am someone they really want to work with which is perfect for me because I want to work with them as well. I know daisy is going to be such a great competitor and I want to be on her side 100% but same with jess...im such a loyal bitch okay!! Me and Kiki really bonded over that logic puzzle so she went up in my rankings (as if she was ever low to begin with) I am not sure how well me/Pete/Nicole(opposite tribe) are gonna mesh...like I really hope me and Nicole can come together this game but I know we are just gonna end up being paranoid of each other but I love her so much. I REALLY WANTED TO BE ON A TRIBE WITH NASH AND JENNET I luv their vibes so much. okay back to my tribe tho, we won reward #mwah! I put so much effort into that because I just knew if we were to go to tribal that's an easy thing under my belt I could use as a "omg u need me for challenges". I noticed I was coming on a little too strong and presenting myself as a leader which I don't think really hurt me I think it made more people realize they should talk to me KHFBHIS. Umm okay so I love lovelis even tho he is not very active but I just know we will have each others backs for a bit. I connected well with Shane and Ethan very early and they just seem so sweet. I think if we would have went to tribal sam/lovelis/Pete could have been in danger. I would have preferred sam cause he isn't that active but he did help out some with the flag work. ANYWAYS this was not my best confessional but I do want to point out I FOUND A VOTE BLOCK SO HOLLLLLLAAAAAA! we are using this as a way to gain peoples trust so I told daisy and jess to strengthen those relationships mhmm

NASH

me pretending to be surprised that ppl wanted to vote me out first because i was kinda inactive.... i thought survivor would be different 💔

JENNET

not me being targeted for being a pretty black girl with a juicy fat ass *sad face emojis*

(a little later)

its tribal council and im shaking and im nervous, this could go horribly wrong or this could go super right

TRIBAL COUNCIL

youtube

SILVER EXIT INTERVIEW

youtube

#cowsurvivor #confessionals

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oxytosine-blog · 7 years ago

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🔪 yus

Send 🔪 and I’ll write a drabble where my muse kills yours.

@kashiings

—”I’m sorry, I haven’t exactly done this too often.” Ayane smiled sheepishly, beige eyes pinned onto his, dripping with sick anticipation. Soft, yet, marred hands clasped over him as the brunette inched closer to inspect his slowly worsening condition. Her smile, breathy, lingering of strong coffee as her frame shadowed his.

“I don’t kill patients, not often anyway…you’re my first male, and well, you aren’t exactly my patient anymore, are you? Since you decided to just… wander off, and see another doctor. Shut me out so suddenly, made me feel useless.“ Her smile widened to something ghastly, observing him, every breath he took reduced to small pants, she held him up gently as Archer began to slump, dizzy, her gaze even more intense than before, what sparked between them almost felt like budding romance to her, but was just her hunger to kill that made her stares spark with electricity, that made her heart skip beats, ”I forgave you Kessler-san, after all, I’m sure you had your own commitments, and I couldn’t possibly stay mad at the man who gave my parents comfortable lives… but my curiosity took over so I slipped some cyanide into your alcohol while you weren’t looking so I could observe the effects cyanide has on a fully grown man such as yourself. Don’t take it personally, I just don’t feel obliged to cater for your health anymore, and I’m sure your other doctor wouldn’t mind one less patient in their life too, probably wouldn’t even notice.”

Witnessing him starting to lose unconsciousness on her, a sharp pain jolted through his entire face, Ayane’s slaps were enough to drag victims out of their unconscious slumbers and temporarily back into reality. Still grinning eerily, the woman dabbed away some of his drool with a clean cloth and gently propped his head between her hands, returning his actions with stern eyes, “Come on, you’re acting like a newborn fawn. You barely have enough strength to hold yourself up, my dosage wasn’t supposed to kill you that instantly.” her tone, dripped with honey, silk, as she almost whispered to the man. She had watched him slowly succumb to cyanide without saying a single word before-hand and failed to mention what his acute symptoms really were until it gradually accumulated to this. ��

“So, before you start sleeping on me I, ah, …I’d like to talk to you about cyanide and the effects on the body, well, yours. This is when you should be admitted into medical care, for professionals like me to look you over, but for scientific research…I won’t do that.” The sudden headaches…the dizziness you felt, you couldn’t have thought it was just a pure coincidence right?” Ayane chuckled slightly, letting the man flop into her laps, of course, he was probably too weak to retaliate much, especially when she began to affectionately play with strands of his hair, the closest she’s ever been with others have only been through their death, as a dying person rarely has the mindset to judge her.

“Your cells can no longer use oxygen and convert it into useful energy molecules for your body, isn’t that fascinating? without aerobic cellular respiration, your body can’t exactly make ATP, sounds familiar? and without that energy currency, your organs will begin to respire, expending all their energy and not actually replacing it, so what you’re feeling is well, how shall I put it nicely? Organ death? But don’t worry! All that grim stuff I was just spouting will just go straight out of that dizzy little head of yours! I’m not really sure what you’re thinking about actually, or if you’re really listening to me huh?”

“ —Of course you aren’t.” She replied, her upbeat tone slowly dying down, and her features become more neutral the more Archers life slipped away from her very grasp, eyes slowly wandering away from his dulled ones, and icily pinned onto the contaminated wine he had. For what seemed like a lifetime, was only mere seconds of silence between them before Ayane cautiously muttered out,”Who will take over your business now? You must have a sibling that’s competent enough … I wonder what your funeral arrangements would be like Archer. I’ll be burning you to dispose of the evidence, but your official funeral, I will be going to as well, unless for some reason you want it private, I will completely understand. This is the only part of it that matters, where you die knowing I was the cause, and I’m the last person you see before you finally go out.” A hand lingered above his mouth, his breathing stopped, or was so faint it was undetectable by human nerves, it had caused the brunette to slide two fingers onto his throat, and press on his artery hard enough for the man to convulse before his heart actually stopped.

And she just sat there in complete tranquility, with a dead man, who was known by the name Archer on her laps. She thought about everything revolving his life, his family, his ambitions and career, those he deemed close to him, and a lover he would mention every so often. All of those memories quickly extinguished, and the remainings of the flames was a greyed body that lay lifelessness on the woman’s lap. All that personality, his boldness, gone so instantly, it even moved the amalgamated abyss in Ayane’s core to an extent that may be considered human.

But the thoughts quickly vanished, as her humane thoughts were replaced by the other ones that orchestrated in her head, and in silence, his body was dragged away from the crime scene, never to be witnessed by another human again. A disappearance, and a murder, without traces of a killer. She hoped that doctor was truly worth it.

#kashiings #IM...#IM SHOOKETH #I can't even tag this as a meme #and if he let her #THIS WOULD 100% SOMETHING SHE WOULD DO #AAAAAA ARCHER #IM SORRY #rest in pieces

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sourceofhealthllc · 5 years ago

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How To Boost Your Energy Naturally

We Are Going To Review The Top Six Ways On How To Boost Your Energy Naturally

Fatigue and pain are the top reasons people visit a doctor aside from infectious disease. The energy drink and supplement industry are riddled with products that make enormous claims with little long-term studies regarding safety and efficacy. That’s why it is important to learn how to boost your energy naturally without doing harm to your body.

Both fatigue and pain can be symptoms of underlying mitochondrial dysfunction, aka a low energy state. Before we jump into the science, let’s define what energy actually is with respect to an organism. Simply put, energy is the capacity and ability to do work. Expanding on that, energy is the sense of vitality, strength, mental outlook, endurance, and zest for life.

For most people, a cup of coffee is energy but that is not really what caffeine is. Yes, you get a pick me up but there is a whole deep dive in energy that we can take to understanding where energy comes from, and ultimately how to boost your energy naturally.

The Keys To Understanding This Energy Conundrum Lie Deep Inside Each Of Our Cells Inside The Organelle Called The Mitochondrion.

Mitochondria are a unique organelle since they have their own DNA code. Billions of years ago, a eukaryotic cell and a type of archaebacteria made a symbiotic relationship to work together for survival. The rest is history.

Nearly every single cell in the world carries out this type of metabolism. Symbiosis is the process of a win-win relationship between two different organisms- i.e. you give me a home, and I will keep it clean for you.

Mitochondria take the food we eat (carbohydrates, fats, and amino acids) and convert them into a large amount of energy, called ATP. This process is called oxidative phosphorylation for the biochemistry nerds out there.

Our cells have the ability to make some ATP without mitochondria. However, they can’t do it in the quantity that the mitochondria can do.

To give some idea on the scale here, 1 glucose molecule can give you a net of 2 ATP without the mitochondria. However, that same molecule of glucose can turn into 38 ATP- that’s 16x more energy per glucose molecule.

This Is Why We Really Want To Take Great Care Of Our Mitochondria Especially As We Age So We Maintain Our Natural Energy.

In terms of a single cell, mitochondria are the gas tank or powerhouse of the cell. We have thousands of these in our cells and each one has thousands of sites within it to take our food and convert it to energy. This is the basis of metabolism.

Metabolism can further be separated into catabolism (breaking down) and anabolism (building up). So, if we are eating all the time, why don’t we have any energy?

And even more, the more we eat, the more lethargy we feel. Well, that is a loaded question and up for hours of discussion.

Here’s what we know about cells. They have cycles within cycles, and they are tightly regulated like trains at a station. These systems have on and off switches.

We cannot have everything going constantly at the same time. That would be chaos. Cells are constantly doing work and need time to rest and repair, just like we do. We have 75 trillion of them!

When patients come in concerned with not enough energy, they often want something to speed them up. Oftentimes, we actually have to help them slow down. A quick-fix mentality delivers short-lived results.

Here Are The Top Six Ways To Boost Energy Naturally

1. Sleep

6-8 hours of sleep is the usual recommendation, but do you know how well you sleep? Awake, REM, Light Sleep, and Deep Sleep are the 4 stages our brain goes through and cycle repeatedly throughout your whole night’s sleep.

The most important in terms of energy is Deep Sleep. Think of this as the brain’s way of repair and detox.

The best ways to help this out are to avoid blue light an hour or two before bed. Avoid spicy or heavy foods before bed. Refrain from alcohol and medications such as Ambien, Benadryl or sleep aids.

Getting knocked out does not mean deep sleep. Find yourself in a dark room, cool sheets that are able to breathe. For some, avoiding the consumption of drama or horror stories can be helpful.

One of the best ways to improve energy is through a light guided meditation before bed; binaural beats have been studied to induce deep relaxation. When we sleep, we release Growth Hormone, a potent hormone of anti-aging and energy.

To summarize sleep, it is the single most overlooked part of our daily health. Sleep trackers are a great way to learn how you sleep.

2. Burst Activity & Endurance Training

Investing in some elbow grease is truly the single most important way to grow your number and size of mitochondria. It takes energy to make energy. Health is an investment.

When people are in a low-energy state, the thought of exercise causes panic. Before you stop reading this, there is a tipping point worth mentioning.

Long-distance and endurance athletes have been shown in muscle biopsies to have the highest number of mitochondria out of everyone on the planet. For most of us, we are not this type of person. What works and is manageable is doing high output, short-duration burst activities.

This can be sprinting or high-intensity interval training (HIIT). After a sprint, the quick energy our cells have is depleted, called the creatine phosphate cycle. Our cells are then triggered to send fuel into the mitochondria for ATP production.

Our main fuel is glucose, stored as glycogen (animal starch). This will run out within minutes and then fat can be shuttled in to be broken down for ATP.

Our body is very good at doing this but there are some factors that can switch our bodies off. Starting is the first step, the second is being consistent. If you are in a low-energy state, getting you moving is the key to making more energy.

3. Strength Training

Lifting heavyweight, specifically leg day is essential not only for our mitochondria but for healthy hormone production. By stimulating the legs (quads, glutes, and hamstrings), we, in turn, produce more thermogenic muscle.

This does not have to be a heavy cardio workout, but rather have the muscles recover for 2 minutes between sets. That is a long time between so what is great to do is stack a superset with it.

For example, deadlift followed by pushups. Let the legs recover and the next set will be better. An important reminder here is stability over strength.

Start with low weights and work on your form before adding heavier weights. This is a slow process, but the legs grow quicker than any other body group. Guys who walk around with big chests and toothpicks for legs are not doing it right (with what genetics are allowable).

4. Fasting

Time-restricted feeding is a discipline that can deliver incredible amounts of energy. Trending now is the term called intermittent fasting. It can be beneficial for not just weight loss but actually helping with insulin resistance.

Fasting, or periods of not eating, has been done since the dawn of time. The concept of 3 meals a day and snacks are really new to the human frame. For most of human existence, this was not the case.

What happens when we eat constantly is the food has to be digested, absorbed, and then assimilated which is a very labor-intensive process.

MTOR is the signal that regulates this storage pathway and shuts off AMPK. AMPK is the regulatory enzyme that stimulates autophagy and helps us repair, regenerate, and clean up inside our cells.

Level 1: The overnight fast

This is what we normally do on a daily basis. Ensure you get 12 hours without any calories between dinner and breakfast…that means no midnight snacks!

Level 2: Time-restricted feeding

Extending the overnight window to 14,16, and even 18 hours can be done periodically. This means all of your calories are consumed in a shorter window. This has great benefits and is definitely a great start to begin your journey into fasting and building more energy throughout the day.

Sundown to sundown is a 24 hour fast that is done across many religions which denotes how important taking a break from eating to focus inwards truly is.

Level 3: The reduced calorie fast

Consuming anywhere from 500 to 1000 calories per day appeals to most people. Examples of this are juice/shake cleanses, fasting-mimicking diets, and macro shifting aka low carb, low fat, or keto diets.

Level 4: The zero-calorie fast

Doing a longer therapeutic fast past 24 hours, medical supervision and clearance is recommended. The 72 hour fast appears to be the sweet spot for optimal results.

Do not expect to do what you normally do in that window. Hunger signals will reduce as your body shifts its metabolism into its stored energy. Please consult with a doctor who is literate in fasting before trying this one on your own.

5. Polyphenols, Peptides, and Other Supplements

From the supplement side of treatment to boost energy, we really have a couple of key pathways that can be up-regulated. NRF, SIRTs, AMPK, and NO pathways all seek to increase PGC -1 alpha, which directly signals for mitochondrial biogenesis.

This increases the number and size of mitochondria and in turn more potential for energy. Resveratrol, the polyphenol antioxidant in grapes has been well studied for its health benefits.

Most supplements are actually derived from Japanese Knotweed (Polygonum cuspidatum) which is high in concentration of resveratrol. This activates SIRT and NRF2 pathways which act upon the cellular antioxidant pathways.

One peptide worth mentioning is MOTS-c. MOTS-c inhibits the methionine-folate cycle resulting in the accumulation of AICAR (5-aminoimidazole-4-carboxamide ribonucleotide) which, in turn, activates the AMPK (5’- adenosine monophosphate-activated protein kinase). The latter is described as a sensor of cellular energy by monitoring the ratio of adenosine monophosphate (AMP) and adenosine triphosphate (ATP).

As far as other supplements go, the main goal is to act as a stimulant and suppress appetite. There are even medications that suppress appetite. This is not truly something that gives more energy but it’s out there.

Buyer Beware, Supplements Are Not Regulated And Many Work Just By Giving You Some Form Of Caffeine Which Is Not Real Energy!

Fiber is actually a great supplement to help bind toxins and waste during a cleanse and can help heal the gut. Fiber feeds beneficial bacteria aka probiotics.

These good guys make important byproducts that actually give us what we need. It’s that symbiotic relationship that must be there for great health. Seek foods that contain fiber first, but supplement if needed.

Level 6: Sauna And Cold Plunge

Saved the best for last! This is the recovery and self-care component and one of the cheapest and safest things you can do on a regular basis to boost energy levels. Sweating in a sauna directly stimulates mitochondria.

This can include far-infrared light which has good research on it, but the temperature shift is really what does the physiological action. Follow up a sweat with a cold plunge to create contrast.

This is ancient and effective. The problem is the “I don’t like cold” statement. Get started with something simple and very free. End your shower with a quick cold flash. Just turn that shower dial to the cold, then back to hot, then back to cold. Look how easy that is?

As we get more vibrant and tolerable of temperature shifting, a cold-water plunge is on its way. The cold of a 55-degree pool is really all you need here for the benefits. Work your way up in the amount of body under the water and time in the water.

For anyone with major health conditions, consult with your doctor first. Key to success – 10 deep breaths and don’t let your hands or head get under the water. That will create more of the shock sensation and shorten your duration in the plunge.

A Cold Plunge Is A Great Way To Increase Energy Levels

Studies have also shown that longer doesn’t mean better, especially after a workout. Freezing your body down or sweating too long after a workout can actually turn off the effectiveness of the workout. So, keep the cycles short. 5 minutes hot and 1-minute cold.

To summarize, the energy levels of our body are complex and multifactorial. When we can apply solid science to our bodies and see the results, life is great. If you are dealing with health issues and not sure where to turn to, seek a second opinion before buying another supplement or energy drink.

Please note that there are other causes of low energy states not mentioned here such as thyroid, adrenal, and sex hormone status that can affect energy levels. A comprehensive holistic plan must be put in place and measuring is an excellent way to track progress.

My advice is to hang in there and go slow but steady with your progress. Do this for the long-haul and see your vitality skyrocket.

About the Author

Dr. Steven Sorr is the founder and chief medical officer at Source of Health in Scottsdale, AZ and has been in clinical practice using regenerative medicine since 2013. He received his doctorate in naturopathic medicine from SCNM and is a licensed healthcare provider in Arizona.

Dr. Sorr brings a huge passion for life and a diverse educational background of food, yoga, and medicine to the Source of Health. His goal is to revolutionize the standard of care mindset by making significant strides in evidence-based therapies that are drug and surgery-free to restore high-level health for all.

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