#catholic school slasher

[jods-tablet]

days have no meaning to me anymore but I’ve sure as hell been cooking 💞 (new Catholic School slasher AU)

[mourningmaybells]

honestly everything surrounding the exorcist's cast and crew and the ripple effects it had into everything into the wider culture and genre were soooo

my baby girl you were a blight on society

[fallstaticexit]

Prev / Next / Beginning

Trigger Warning: Drug Use (Marijuana) / Discussion of death & loss / Transcript under the cut

Nancy: Are you going to tell me where we’re going?

Vanessa: Ever heard of savoring the moment? Basking in the adventure of the unknown?

Nancy: This sounds like a slasher film in the making.

Vanessa: You’re no fun, but fine. We’re going to my secret spot.

Nancy: Why are you taking me? What if I told someone about it?

Vanessa: You said you’re not a narc. Besides, we broke bread together.

Nancy: Oh, I see. I have dirt on you, so now you have dirt on me?

Vanessa: Wooow, Blondie! You have some serious trust issues.

Nancy: [mutters] Well. I don’t know you all that well..

Vanessa: I’m not mad. That makes sense. That just means I have to work extra hard to get you to trust me. I must warn you, I’m annoyingly persistent.

Nancy: What?

Vanessa: Nothing!

Nancy: Ok, seriously. What are we doing here?

Vanessa: Looking for my stash...ah fuck! Did someone jack my- ah-ha! Here she is!

Nancy: Who?

Vanessa: [sings] Mary Jane, I love her just the same.

Nancy: You brought us all the way out here to smoke pot?

Vanessa: What, you’d rather do it in front of the nuns? Get in here.

Vanessa: So, what’s your deal?

Nancy: My deal?

Vanessa: Yeah, like, why are you here? I doubt you saw a packet in the mail and thought, ‘I’d sure love to spend my senior year at a boring Catholic boarding school’. Unless you heard about all the hot guys here, then that makes sense.

Nancy: Wasn’t my idea.

Vanessa: Ok. So, what happened?

Nancy: [huffs] Well, if I talk about it then it never goes away, does it? That’s kind of the whole point.

Vanessa: [hums] Well, you’re in the right place, that’s for sure.

Vanessa: [murmurs] All you have to do is pray, and it all goes away.

Nancy: What’s your story?

Vanessa: Not much of a story. I was raised in the church. Heir to my family’s fortune. Blah blah blah. You know how it is, being a Landgraab and all.

Nancy: It wasn’t always like that. My brother was supposed to be next in line, but he died when I was 4.

Vanessa: Fuck, I’m sorry.

Nancy: It’s- I barely remember him, so..

Vanessa: [after a beat] My mom died giving birth to me. My father says I’ll spend the rest of my life being great to atone for it. That’s actually all he says to me.

Nancy: I don’t think my father knows he even has a daughter. I bet he doesn’t know the color of my eyes- he hasn’t looked me in them my whole life.

Vanessa: [laughs] What the fuck? We're really messed up, huh? You know, you’re not like any of the other girls here.

Nancy: Is that a bad thing?

Vanessa: No. I’m not like any of them either.

Nancy: [coughs aggressively]

Vanessa: [laughs] Don’t swallow it! We should head back before they start room checks. You do not want to catch Sister Anges in the halls after curfew.

Vanessa: [cackling] Move your ass, Landgraab!

Nancy: Shhh! We’ll get caught!

Sister Agnes: And where are you two coming from?

Nancy: We? Um. We...

Vanessa: From the greenhouse, Sister Agnes. I was just showing the new girl around. Nancy says she loves her some pot-

Nancy: -tted plants! Potted plants!

Sister Agnes: You should know the rules better than anyone, Ms. Villareal. No loitering in common areas without a chaperone. Up to bed now.

Nancy: Pot? Really?

Vanessa: I thought it would be funny!

Vanessa: Today was pretty fun. You should come hang out with us during rec. Dina and Nina are total bitches but they’re funny.

Nancy: Sure. Yeah. Cool.

Vanessa: Cool. ‘Night Blondie.

Nancy: Goodnight...Red.

[demiromanticmickey]

On today's "I am SO not normal about Dead Friend Forever": Discussing Catholicism and Colonization in this gay Thai slasher series

Some background on me: I am from a Latine Catholic family. Raised as a non-practicing Catholic (we didn't go to church or pray). Then my parents enrolled me in a Catholic school that I attended from 5th grade to the end of 7th grade. Today, I am not Catholic and have never really considered myself as such.

Ok, so in the flashback episodes of DFF, I have been noticing a lot of things. My findings under the cut.

Let's start with this crucifix and photo of the Virgin Mary and a baby Jesus.

Screenshot from ep. 5.

The camera lingers here a bit so we're obviously meant to pay attention to the phrase. I put the screenshot through Google translate's image translator and the translation it gave me was, "Think good, do good, be a good person." I didn't think much of it when I first watched the episode other than it was supposed to establish that the boys attend a Christian or Catholic school.

But then there was this image posted on Be On Cloud's Instagram (also from ep. 5): X

Zooming in, we can see there's another picture of Mary in the background. Watching the classroom scenes, it's easy to miss because the series itself is more washed out than the official photos posted. But this emphasis on Mary led me to believe the school is a Catholic one. So out of curiosity, I looked up the schools the writers and directors attended because I felt I was onto something here. And boy, was I!

Source: MDL

Ma-Deaw, if you didn't know, is one of the directors of Dead Friend Forever (he also directed Manner of Death and Inhuman Kiss , and lots of other things).

One Google search later (X) and I learned "Montfort College" is a Catholic school. It started out as a primary school that later added a secondary school as well.

Now let's take a closer look at some of the details of this school:

First, the school's motto "Labor Conquers All Things". This reminded me of the phone conversation Tee had with his uncle:

On my first watch, this sounded familiar to me but I couldn't really place why. It wasn't until I saw this other Tumblr post (X) that pointed out it's similar to a bible quote from the New Testament. The quote varies a bit depending on which version of the bible you're using but it's along the lines of, "He who does not work, neither shall he eat".

This is meant to discourage "laziness". Nevermind the fact that people deserve to eat simply because we get hungry and need food to survive. The idea that we only "deserve" things based on productivity is an extremely colonial one. — Reminder also that Tee is being forced into this "work" in the first place. He's just a high school kid. I don't need to like his character to understand how fucked up his situation is.

Then there's the patron of the school. St. Louis de Montfort was a French Catholic priest most known for his study in Mariology. What is Mariology (X)? The study of Mary, the mother of Jesus. I didn't know that was a thing but it's unsurprising considering how prominent images of Mary were in my own religious upbringing. And she's what started me down this rabbit hole in the first place. Mary is a big deal to the Catholics. I'm going to be paying even more attention now if more Mary imagery pops up.

The Garden of Eden and Original Sin

Now I want to draw attention to these images:

Screenshots from ep. 7

Here we have Non and Phee biting into an apple as they leisure around this lush green field. We know they've visited this location more than once because they're wearing different outfits in the screenshots. And I think it's important to note that it's Phee holding the apple and offering it to Non.

The use of the word "bait" in the bts of ep. 7 is quite interesting too. (X)

The Garden of Eden was the paradise in which Adam and Eve resided. In this garden, there were many trees to eat from. The one tree Adam and Eve were forbidden by God to eat from was the Tree of Knowledge. A serpent (Satan), first tempted Eve into taking from the tree to eat it's fruit. And then Eve gave the fruit to Adam. That is Original Sin. And because Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge, all humans thereafter are born sinful and bad, and can only find salvation through God.

Of course in the scene between Phee and Non, the sin the apple represents is being gay. And it's after this, and after the bracelet scene, that Non becomes involved with Por's film and his tragedy begins.

Zoomed in screenshot from ep. 5

And I wonder if the bracelet scene is the last time Phee and Non visit this forest location. It would parallel how Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden of Eden once they sinned.

Final Thoughts

You give me a story that criticizes Western religion and how it's used as a tool for oppression and colonization, and I'm gonna eat that shit up. I am gonna eat it up. Every. Single. Time.

I really wasn't expecting anything like this from Dead Friend Forever. This level in attention to detail is unmatched. I don't think I've watched a more well planned out show. And no matter where DFF goes from here, these seven episodes will always hold a special place in my heart. 💗

[estelamajor]

[  azul  guaita.  cis  woman.  she/her.  muse  04.  ]  welcome  back  to  montclair  university,  estela  luz  guzmán  !  according  to  your  student  file  you're  a  twenty  two  year  old  junior,  studying  journalism,  and  funny  enough  you  were  voted  best  hair  your  senior  year  of  high  school  back  home  in  san  antonio,  tx.  i  can  totally  see  it  with  your  confident,  boisterous  and  unreliable  personality  !  but  enough  about  that  —  i  heard  you  were  lizzie  harrington's  sorority  sister.  makes  sense  when  you  take  into  consideration  your  status  as  a  legacy  student  …  and  the  fact  that  you're  hiding  that  [redacted]  you're  often  seen  at  opulence,  and  you  kind  of  embody  pink  lip  gloss  sticky  on  the  rim  of  a  solo  cup  ;  star  shaped  sun  glasses  perched  on  her  head  like  a  crown  even  when  it's  cloudy  outside  ;  making  every  stranger  your  best  friend  ;  cracked  phone  screen  buzzing  with  dozens  of  unread  messages  ;  and  abundant  laughter  echoing  through  an  empty  parking  lot  at  2  am  …  not  to  mention  people  always  seem  to  hum  1-800-hot-n-fun  by  le  sserafim  when  you're  around,  but  you'll  always  be  known  on  campus  as  the  gregarious  who  enjoys  vlogging  and  has  3M  instagram  followers…  good  luck  this  semester  ! 

by  ten,  the  party  is  in  full  swing.  ESTELA  GUZMAN  weaves  through  the  crowd,  phone  in  hand,  capturing  snippets  of  the  night  for  their  massive  online  community—designer  dresses,  drunken  confessions,  you  name  it. 

𝑏𝑎𝑠𝑖𝑐𝑠

birth  name  : estela luz guzmán

meaning  : estela ( star ) ; luz ( light ) ; guzmán ( noble man )

nickname(s)  : stela ( most common ), star ( preferred )

date  of  birth  : august  21st

age  : 22

gender  : cis  woman

pronouns  : she/her

sexuality  : bisexual

relationship  status  : single

birthplace  : san antonio, texas

currently  : greenwich, connecticut

languages  : english  (  fluently  ),  spanish  (  fluently  )

religion  : was raised catholic ; currently agnostic

education  : currently  studying  journalism  at  montclair  university

𝘩𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑡𝘩

preferred  hand  :  left

blood  type  :  ab-

allergies  :  pollen,  tree  nuts,  and  chocolate

physical  :  in  surprisingly  good  shape  for  someone  who  rarely  works  out.

mental  :  undiagnosed  ocd

social  :  outgoing,  thrives  in  social  settings  but  tends  to  overshare;  struggles  with  maintaining  deep,  meaningful  connections.

𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦

leo sun. esfp ( the entertainer ) . choleric . kindness . pride . slytherclaw. chaotic neutral . 7w8 ( the opportunist )

positive  traits  : confident,  outgoing,  sociable

neutral  traits  : boisterous,  outspoken

negative  traits  : unreliable,  self  destructive,  deceptive

label  :  the  gregarious  (  sociable  and  fond  of  company,  known  to  gossip.  ) 

habits  : biting  her  fingernails,  unnecessarily  filming  her  daily  life

likes  : hot  sauce,  loud  music,  donuts,  energy  drinks,  reality  tv,  astrology,  fashion,  spicy  food,  the  color  pink, journaling,  slasher  films,  and  video  games

dislikes  : silence,  cold  weather, pineapple  flavored  candy,  wearing  socks,  long  nails,  people  who  talk  too  much,  and  waking  up  before  noon.

fears  : large  bodies  of  water  (  she  can't  swim  ),  premature  death

tropes  :  always  second  best,  hidden  depths,  sad  clown

inspiration  : emma  meyer  (  gen  v  ),  alice  pieszecki  (  the  l  word  ),  bethany  walker  (  jumanji  ) 

𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒

faceclaim  : azul guaita

face  : heart  shaped  with  soft,  defined  cheekbones  and  almond  shaped,  expressive  green  eyes

hair  : shoulder  length,  dirty  blonde  hair  -  bordering  on  brown

body  : slender  and  petite,  surprising  perfect  posture

style  : whatever's  trending  at  the  moment  ;  currently  light  and  carefree,  fitted  crop  tops  contrast  against  structured  jeans  and  embroidered  skirts,  lots  of  accessories,  overall  vibe  is  effortless  yet  obviously  intentional

misc  :  a  small  tattoo  of  a  star  just  behind  her  left  ear,  a  pierced  septum  (though  she  swaps  between  jewelry  styles  often),  various  ear  piercings. 

𝑎𝑒𝑠𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑠

lipstick  stained  coffee  cups  stacked  high  on  her  beside  table  ;  a  trail  of  expensive  perfume  lingering  in  the  air  long  after  she's  gone  ;  diamond  earrings  that  glinting  under  the  light  from  a  chandelier  ;  perfectly  manicured  fingernails  anxiously  tapping  her  thigh  ;  pink  lip  gloss  sticky  on  the  rim  of  a  solo  cup  ;  star  shaped  sun  glasses  perched  on  her  head  like  a  crown  even  when  it's  cloudy  outside  ;  making  every  stranger  your  best  friend  ;  cracked  phone  screen  buzzing  with  dozens  of  unread  messages  ;  and  abundant  laughter  echoing  through  an  empty  parking  lot  at  2  am  ;  glitter  lingering  on  her  collarbone  ;  a  tangled  mess  of  jewelry  around  her  wrists  ;  a  half  written  journal  stuffed  in  her  tote  bag 

𝑏𝑖𝑜𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑝𝘩𝑦

estela  luz  guzmán  grew  up  in  a  world  built  on  oil  money  —  the  only  child  of  a  texas  tycoon  whose  name  carried  weight  in  all  the  right  circles.  her  father’s  success  was  larger  than  life,  the  kind  people  spoke  about  with  admiration  or  envy.  but  success  came  at  a  price,  and  for  estela,  that  price  was  his  presence.  her  father,  carlos,  was  gone  more  often  than  he  was  home,  and  when  he  was  around,  his  affection  felt  more  like  an  obligation  than  a  choice  —  something  he  could  check  off  his  never  ending  list  of  priorities.

her  mother  was  different  —  warm  and  full  of  life,  with  a  smile  that  softened  even  the  sharpest  edges  of  their  sprawling  estate.  estela  doesn’t  remember  much  about  her,  just  fleeting  memories  —  a  gentle  hand  smoothing  her  hair  before  bed,  a  soft  voice  singing  lullabies  in  spanish.  when  her  mother  died  in  a  car  accident,  estela  was  only  five.  nine  months  later,  her  father  remarried.

her  stepmother  wasn’t  cruel,  but  she  kept  her  distance.  she  liked  estela  best  when  she  was  quiet  and  presentable  —  a  well  behaved  accessory  to  their  carefully  curated  family  image.  nannies  took  care  of  the  rest,  drifting  in  and  out  of  estela’s  life  like  passing  seasons.  some  were  kind,  some  forgettable,  but  none  ever  stuck  around  for  long.

by  the  time  estela  was  old  enough  to  understand,  she’d  learned  how  to  fill  the  silence  on  her  own.  in  school,  she  became  the  loud  one  —  the  girl  who  could  turn  a  dull  classroom  into  something  that  felt  like  a  party.  she  wasn’t  the  best  student,  but  she  knew  how  to  make  people  laugh,  and  that  always  seemed  to  count  for  something.  teachers  called  her  “distracted,”  but  estela  didn’t  care.  as  long  as  she  wasn’t  alone,  she  was  happy.

her  father  didn’t  understand  her  —  not  her  jokes,  not  her  endless  stories,  not  the  way  she  seemed  to  thrive  in  chaos.  he  believed  in  discipline  and  hard  work,  whereas  estela  believed  in  figuring  things  out  as  she  went.

by  the  time  she  reached  montclair  university,  estela  had  perfected  the  art  of  being  everywhere  at  once.  freshman  year,  a  journalism  project  had  her  filming  parts  of  her  life  —  casual  clips  of  her  friends,  chaotic  vlogs  that  blended  gossip  with  inside  jokes.  it  was  supposed  to  be  a  throwaway  assignment,  but  people  loved  her.  they  loved  her  messy  dorm  room  confessionals,  her  late  night  rants  about  campus  life,  her  habit  of  oversharing  like  everyone  watching  was  her  best  friend.

somewhere  along  the  way,  estela  realized  it  wasn’t  just  the  vlogging  she  loved  —  it  was  the  storytelling.  the  way  words  could  twist  a  dull  moment  into  something  electric,  the  way  the  right  sentence  could  turn  strangers  into  listeners.  she  started  writing  more,  scribbling  half  formed  ideas  in  the  margins  of  her  notebooks,  staying  up  late  to  fine  tune  essays  she  knew  were  good  enough  but  wanted  to  make  better.  for  the  first  time,  something  felt  right  —  something  that  belonged  entirely  to  her,  not  her  family  or  her  reputation.  journalism  gave  her  a  voice,  one  that  wasn’t  just  loud,  but  purposeful.  a  rare  kind  of  focus  in  a  life  that  was  otherwise  messy  and  unpredictable.

she  kept  her  social  calendar  just  as  chaotic  —  sorority  mixers,  campus  events,  parties  that  stretched  late  into  the  night.  people  liked  her  because  she  was  easy  to  like  —  loud  and  impulsive,  always  moving,  always  talking.  if  she  forgot  to  text  you  back  or  bailed  last  minute,  you  forgave  her.  that’s  just  how  estela  was  —  there  one  minute,  gone  the  next,  always  coming  back  with  a  story  to  tell. 

𝑙𝑖𝑧𝑧𝑖𝑒 𝘩𝑎𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑡𝑜𝑛 .

estela  met  lizzie  during  rush  week,  both  of  them  bright  eyed  freshmen  eager  to  make  an  impression.  they  went  through  every  pledge  activity  together  and  by  the  time  they  were  officially  sisters,  their  bond  felt  unshakable.  they  were  the  kind  of  friends  who  swapped  clothes  without  asking  and  turned  every  night  out  into  an  adventure.  however,  they  fought  just  as  often.  still,  no  matter  how  intense  the  fights  got,  they  always  found  their  way  back  to  each  other.  because  at  the  end  of  the  day,  estela  didn’t  just  consider  lizzie  a  friend  —  she  was  family.

𝘩𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

star  ;  one  night  in  a  haze  of  celebration  and  tequila  shots,  estela  convinced  two  of  her  friends  to  get  matching  star  tattoos  with  her  —  tiny,  glittery  outlines  inked  just  below  her  ribs.  hers  is  barely  visible,  but  she  loves  flashing  it  like  a  badge  of  honor.

playlists  ;  estela  has  a  playlist  for  everything  —  breakups,  study  sessions,  outfit  planning,  getting  ready  for  a  party,  post  party  breakdowns,  and  even  one  specifically  titled  "bikini  pics  &  bad  decisions."

shopping  addict  ;  she’s  constantly  ordering  things  she  doesn’t  need.

kappa  kappa  theta  ;  estela  took  over  as  social  chair  mostly  because  no  one  else  had  the  energy  to  keep  up  with  her  —  and  because  she  kept  unofficially  planning  events  anyway.

tardiness  ;  stela  is  perpetually  running  late,  not  because  she  doesn’t  care  but  because  she  underestimates  how  long  everything  takes.  her  friends  have  learned  to  tell  her  events  start  30  minutes  earlier  than  they  actually  do. 

reality  tv  enthusiast  ;  estela  swears  she’s  “just  putting  it  on  in  the  background,”  but  she’s  emotionally  invested  in  every  season  of  love  island  and  has  surprisingly  strong  opinions  about  strategy  in  the  circle.

flirtatious  ;  half  the  time,  estela  doesn’t  even  realize  she’s  flirting.  she’s  just  naturally  charming  —  all  bright  smiles,  playful  teasing,  and  lingering  eye  contact.  however,  in  reality  should  couldn't  be  less  interested.  she's  always  stuck  on  past  relationships.

love  language  ;  estela’s  love  language  is  gift  giving,  and  she’s  weirdly  good  at  it.  she’ll  remember  you  mentioned  loving  a  certain  candle  scent  three  months  ago  and  surprise  you  with  it  when  you  least  expect  it.

silence  ;  estela  hates  silence.  if  she’s  alone,  she’s  filling  the  room  with  sound  —  music,  tv,  or  just  talking  to  herself  while  getting  ready.  anything  to  avoid  being  left  with  her  thoughts. 

leo  ;  estela  swears  by  astrology  —  she’s  the  kind  of  person  who  asks  for  your  birth  chart  before  learning  your  last  name.  her  friends  have  heard  her  say  "it’s  just  your  mercury  in  retrograde,  babe"  more  times  than  they  can  count,  and  her  instagram  bio?  absolutely  includes  her  sun,  moon,  and  rising  signs.

she  is  very  superstitious,  she  always  wears  a  four  leaf  clover  anklet  that  was  gifted  to  her  at  the  start  of  college  for  good  luck  and  the  worst  6  months  of  her  life  occurred  when  she  had  misplaced  it.

𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑

ex / on again off again  ;  her  first  real  love.  the  two  have  broken  up  and  gotten  back  together  more  times  than  they  can  count,  and  each  break up  is  more  painful  than  the  one  before  it. whenever  they're  apart  it  drives  her  crazy  but  whenever  they're  together  she's  reminded  of  how  bad  they  are  for  each  other.  potential  victims  of  right  person,  wrong  time.

best  friend  ;  they’ve  been  inseparable  since  freshman  year  —  the  kind  of  friendship  that  feels  less  like  a  choice  and  more  like  a  fact.  whether  it’s  dragging  each  other  home  from  parties,  binging  reality  tv  in  pajamas,  or  showing  up  unannounced  with  iced  coffee  and  gossip,  they  just  get  each  other. 

crush  ;  it’s  complicated.  there’s  something  there,  something  electric,  but  neither  of  them  seems  willing  to  admit  it.  maybe  it’s  the  timing,  maybe  it’s  pride,  but  for  now,  they  dance  around  it  with  lingering  glances  and  halfhearted  jokes.  estela  swears  she’s  so  over  it,  but  the  way  her  voice  changes  when  she  talks  about  them  says  otherwise.

follower  ;  they  secretly  idolize  estela  —  watches  every  vlog,  comments  on  every  post,  knows  all  her  chaotic  catchphrases  by  heart.  they’re  always  trying  to  squeeze  their  way  into  her  world  —  showing  up  to  the  same  parties,  laughing  a  little  too  loud  at  her  jokes.  estela  doesn’t  mind  (half  the  time  she  barely  notices),  but  whether  this  admiration  is  harmless  or  something  more  ...  well,  that’s  anyone’s  guess.

co  star  ;  what  started  as  a  collab  turned  into  something  bigger.  they  bounce  off  each  other  effortlessly  —  teasing,  laughing,  turning  even  the  most  mundane  content  into  pure  gold.  people  love  their  dynamic,  and  their  comment  section  is  full  of  fans  begging  for  more.  behind  the  camera,  they’re  just  as  chaotic  —  brainstorming  video  ideas  over  takeout  and  pulling  allnighters  editing  footage  because  "just  one  more  cut".

the  platonic  soulmate  ;  they  went  on  one  date  —  dinner,  drinks,  awkward  small  talk  that  never  quite  clicked.  but  somewhere  between  estela  spilling  her  cocktail  and  them  bonding  over  their  shared  love  of  trashy  reality  tv,  they  realized  romance  wasn’t  in  the  cards.  friendship,  though?  that  felt  inevitable.  now  they’re  practically  joined  at  the  hip  —  each  other’s  biggest  cheerleader,  goto  venting  partner,  and  partnerincrime  for  every  impulsive  idea. 

[johannacantsing]

six sentence sunday-25 august 2024

i finally finished my tefl certification and am now starting to get everything together for my job application :p it's been such a stressful year and it's gonna stay stressful until i get a job and move and get settled in the new place :p what can you do-at least it's a change i want, so it's acceptable stress level

i haven't been writing much but i've been reading a lot (as per usual this year fr) i'm reading a nonfiction on the de Medici family and it's so good!! i specifically like nonfiction that leans more academic, so i really appreciate that the author/historian really digs into the social, economical, political, religious, etc situation at the time, what it was like in ex 1530s vs the Middle Ages so we can understand the changes as well as the current situation that the family had to react to or whatever as well as the person in the family themselves. i already knew the basic information about most of the topics, eg i knew about the interest banking laws, but i didn't know the extent and any details; i knew about the philosophy of the renaissance and al ot of the art shit bc of art history classes, but i didn't know all the specific historical elements or the specific role of florence and the medicis; i knew about the multiple pope fiasco and the indulgences and appointing clergy for political power (my catholic school was like "it was a little bad but we fixed everything :)" i'm not kidding at all lol) but i didn't know any of the specifics or how meditated it could be and all sorts of interesting shit. i am also getting very inspired for my fantasy elf/fairy/i'm not sure yet novel that's most political intrigue bc i'm so fucking sick of fantasy being about love and/or the divine right of kings. i want people who are scheming and not true loves ;o;

i also read "i was a teenage slasher' and it was soooooooo good!! i'm not a huge horror fan (i'm a weenie) but also now that i'm typing that maybe i am kind of a horror fan bc i do love some body horror...? we'll see

“Julian!” Noah's whine warbled over to me. “My finger is bleeding again!”

I did not stomp my foot, but I didn't not stomp either. I breathed in as deep as I could through my nose with my bandana over my mouth. I glared at Noah through my goggles and he glared back at me. 

“That’s so fucking gross!” Tommy shouted into the forest as he dove to pull Noah’s hand up to his face and started unwrapping his finger. 

“It’s not like I tried to.” Noah trailed off, looking both queasy and interested at the emerging stump of his finger.

[diebullydie]

DNA Magazine: Sweet Revenge Will Fill The Screen When Matt Backer And Drew Weston Debut Film

By Matt Myers / September 15, 2024

FEATURED: Die Bully Die! | Instagram | Crowdfunding PHOTOGRAPHER: Johnny Diaz Nicolaidis | Instagram FEATURED ARTISTS: Drew Weston | Instagram | Matthew Backer | Instagram

Ever wanted to get even with your high school bully? Local theatre hunks and DNA favourites Matt Backer and Drew Weston are doing just that, well sort of. 

The two actors have written a short film of vengeance, also paying homage to the slasher films of the Nineties. Described as Fleabag meets Final Destination with a dash of Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion, Die Bully Die tackles homophobia, gay shame, forgiveness and bearing a grudge! 

Admit it, we’ve all dreamed of it!

Speaking to Matt Myers about the inception for their Die Bully Die! show, creators Matt Backer and Drew Weston explain that it’s loosely based off their experiences in high school and facing down old bullies through art.

“I went to an all-boys Catholic school in the Nineties and had a rough time. I held onto it for way too long and it affected my growing up in becoming an adult and my relationships,” says Backer. “I came out quite late at around thirty because of that damage, but I’m now happy working as an actor with a supportive and loving family.”

Feeling that the past is always present in our lives, Backer also saw a chance to create some interesting characters which he developed with Weston. 

“Drew and I get along so well,” he says. “We have the same sort of humour and we thought this was a great concept to write, play and produce. So, we drew from my experiences to create the story and it’s now evolved into a greater metaphor for trauma. It’s not necessarily just homophobic or queerphobic but something relatable to people in letting go of the past. It’s about tackling the future with greater hope.”

Set in a plush restaurant, the plot sees Max (Backer) meeting up with his high-school bully Adam (Weston) after a sixteen-year gap. But things don’t go well and Max’s grudge manifests into revenge of the classic teen-horror comedy genre.

“I had a different high school experience to Matt,” says Weston. “I had a little bit of bullying, but nothing to the extent that he had. In Die Bully Die! my character bullied Max in high school and he’s turned out to be gay himself. It’s a frustrating situation for Max, but Adam is there to apologise, which doesn’t really go to plan!”

For Weston, the experience has been a learning curve in producing and writing as well as acting. He also sees the production reaching beyond the LGBTQIA+ community. “It’s a universal topic,” he says.

“Whether it’s bullying for being gay or overweight or a cultural background, everyone can relate in some way, whether as the victim, witness or actually the bully who now realises what they had done.”

“It’s seen through the lens of the Nineties slasher films we grew up with, which sells well. It’s more Black Mirror than a sentimental ‘woe is me’. But even though it’s full-on, it does have some heart-warming moments.” 

The film also stars Ben Gerrard and Shannon Dooley, with Nick Annas and Ethan Lamb-Kelly playing younger versions of Max and Adam. Production is taking place around Sydney with aspirations to extend into a full-length film or series.

Backer and Weston are also looking for support from the community, with a crowdfunding account set up through the Australian Cultural Fund. 

“The crowdfunding is going great, and support has been beautiful,” says Backer.

“A lot of people have been through a similar journey, but we also have wonderful allies too. They want to see this type of story and the Australian Cultural Fund has been fantastic in providing our crowdfunding platform. We wanted to support an Australian organisation that supports local artists, and it also helps that donations through there are tax deductible!”

[jods-tablet]

all the dead lie still

Chapter 1:

A Minute or Two Before Gideon Nav’s Murder

Gideon would have held her breath and paused if by some miracle she managed to scrape together a do-over. Harrow probably would have, too, just to avoid having to say anything. Lapsed into a comfortable silence again with their fingers entwined the two of them could sit and stare and wait and wait and wait, witness their entire lives stretched elastic before them: St. Samael’s and the horror of the last week-and-a-half fading distantly into the horizon behind.

The stars currently floating above the elevator shaft were bright white and so sugary sweet they hurt Gideon’s teeth. No Southern Cross though- which sucked balls. She couldn’t really turn, either, to see if even a glimpse of it was visible from her second- (more likely third-) to-last resting place.

Okay, fine, pedantics: the place where Gideon Nav was most definitely going to die.

Rating: M

Read on AO3

divider by @ saradika-graphics

[matthewbacker]

DIE BULLY DIE – Sweet Revenge Will Fill The Screen When Matt Backer And Drew Weston Debut Film

By Matt Myers / September 15, 2023

Ever wanted to get even with your high school bully? Local theatre hunks and DNA favourites Matt Backer and Drew Weston are doing just that, well sort of. 

The two actors have written a short film of vengeance, also paying homage to the slasher films of the Nineties. Described as Fleabag meets Final Destination with a dash of Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion, Die Bully Die tackles homophobia, gay shame, forgiveness and bearing a grudge! 

Admit it, we’ve all dreamed of it!

Speaking to Matt Myers about the inception for their Die Bully Die! show, creators Matt Backer and Drew Weston explain that it’s loosely based off their experiences in high school and facing down old bullies through art.

“I went to an all-boys Catholic school in the Nineties and had a rough time. I held onto it for way too long and it affected my growing up in becoming an adult and my relationships,” says Backer. “I came out quite late at around thirty because of that damage, but I’m now happy working as an actor with a supportive and loving family.”

Feeling that the past is always present in our lives, Backer also saw a chance to create some interesting characters which he developed with Weston. 

“Drew and I get along so well,” he says. “We have the same sort of humour and we thought this was a great concept to write, play and produce. So, we drew from my experiences to create the story and it’s now evolved into a greater metaphor for trauma. It’s not necessarily just homophobic or queerphobic but something relatable to people in letting go of the past. It’s about tackling the future with greater hope.”

Set in a plush restaurant, the plot sees Max (Backer) meeting up with his high-school bully Adam (Weston) after a sixteen-year gap. But things don’t go well and Max’s grudge manifests into revenge of the classic teen-horror comedy genre.

Nineties teen dramas are familiar turf to Drew Weston, having recently played lead hunk Sebastian in Cruel Intentions: The Nineties Musical.

“I had a different high school experience to Matt,” says Weston. “I had a little bit of bullying, but nothing to the extent that he had. In Die Bully Die! my character bullied Max in high school and he’s turned out to be gay himself. It’s a frustrating situation for Max, but Adam is there to apologise, which doesn’t really go to plan!”

For Weston, the experience has been a learning curve in producing and writing as well as acting. He also sees the production reaching beyond the LGBTQIA+ community. “It’s a universal topic,” he says.

“Whether it’s bullying for being gay or overweight or a cultural background, everyone can relate in some way, whether as the victim, witness or actually the bully who now realises what they had done.”

“It’s seen through the lens of the Nineties slasher films we grew up with, which sells well. It’s more Black Mirror than a sentimental ‘woe is me’. But even though it’s full-on, it does have some heart-warming moments.” 

The film also stars Ben Gerrard and Shannon Dooley, with Nick Annas and Ethan Lamb-Kelly playing younger versions of Max and Adam. Production is taking place around Sydney with aspirations to extend into a full-length film or series.

Backer and Weston are also looking for support from the community, with a crowdfunding account set up through the Australian Cultural Fund. 

“The crowdfunding is going great, and support has been beautiful,” says Backer.

“A lot of people have been through a similar journey, but we also have wonderful allies too. They want to see this type of story and the Australian Cultural Fund has been fantastic in providing our crowdfunding platform. We wanted to support an Australian organisation that supports local artists, and it also helps that donations through there are tax deductible!”

[maxthetruman]

TONY FACTS!!!!!!!

his name is antonio but he thinks that sounds fucking stupid and pretentious so he tells everyone tony is his full name and not a nickname

hes 23 and he looks older

he was on his college's football team but he got kicked out

he had one of those really dramatic homoerotic break ups with a guy who was definitely just a friend

he thinks he is straight and so he dates girls and hes kinda a lame ass boyfriend like not a bad guy just lame as hell and thinks fast food twice a month constitutes dates

he's in my slasher story so wish him good luck

he sells weed as his main source of income

he went to catholic school

he doesnt call himself a reader but he reads a lot. its just that he only reads one book over and over and over. its catch-22 by joseph heller

oc hard launch

[ash-rabbit]

Reading Recs for Each Entity

When Magnus ended, I thought back on different media that I've enjoyed, some of them fit very neatly into the dread powers, unsettlingly so in some cases, others not so much. If you enjoyed the show for it's horror, and want more of that, then I've got a list for you.

Assume everything here is rated M and has some gore, death, and general dark themes.

Beneath the cut, because there's 15 of these fears. Feel free to add on if you like. By the way, I'm citing writers, not directors when there's a movie.

Beholding

1984 - by George Orwell: Classic surveillance society. Very boring to start off with classical lit, but it was and still is a relevant commentary on society.

Psycho-Pass - by Gen Urobuchi: Has anyone read Hobbes' 'Leviathan'? It's like if that met psychological horror. This anime engages in what it means to live in a world where crimes can be stopped before their ever committed due to the Psycho-Pass system. This system allows authorities to monitor ones emotional state and likelihood of turning violent. I think there's a brief mention of sexual violence, but it's been a hot minute since I've watched.

Panopticon Theory - by Michel Foucault: Yes, political theory. I've read it multiple times (not by choice) and it offers some interesting insights into the world of the Magnus Archives. It's greatly influenced how I regard the dread powers, that being that Smirke's 14 is incredibly limiting.

Buried

Nutty Putty Caving Incident - A real life news story. The only time I can say I've felt properly horrified and deeply unsettled. If 'Lost John's Cave' was the statement that gave you nightmares, avoid this. It's true and it's tragic.

Corruption

Fate/Zero - by Gen Urobuchi: Another anime by the Urobutcher. If you thought Jane Prentiss was excellent this is the show for you. It's excellent for all sorts of reasons, and engages with other avenues of horror but when I heard the Prentiss statement, I was brought back here. Living hives, magical evil wasp larvae writhing beneath someone's skin, it happens. Your warning is that anything bad that can happen to a child, will happen to children here. I mean it.

The Picture of Dorian Gray - by Oscar Wilde: Moral decay, and it's just a damn good read. It's not conventional Corruption material, but the corruption of one's soul in the pursuit of beauty and pleasure is somewhat fitting I should think. I like it, so it's here. Also Jonah Magnus vibes.

Dark

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - by a bunch of people: it's a movie. Not an orthodox choice but I feel the dark deals better in ignorance then the literal. Err, no spoilers, but nothing particularly bad happens, it just sort of tugs.

The Flowers - Alice Walker: A short story about innocence and ignorance. Not particularly spooky, but it hits you at the end.

Allegory of the Cave - Plato: Just a good preliminary reading that provides an alternate lens. It's not spooky, I just like it.

Desolation

All is Quiet on the Western Front - by Erich Maria Remarque: The effects of war on the youth, child soldiers, and the death of innocence. It's bleak, and miserable, but it's honest and Remarque and his family were persecuted by Nazi-Germany because the book carried 'anti-german' (anti-war) sentiments. There's a movie as well.

Pan's Labyrinth - by Guillermo del Toro: Also anti-war, with bad things happening to good people and children. A bit heavy handed with it's symbolism, but hey it's a two hour movie. Also be prepared to read subtitles. It's very good, and if you haven't seen it, I don't want to say too much.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest - by Ken Kesey: There's a more popular movie version as well. Corrupt systems, cutting people down until they fit into a socially appropriate mold. It's fairly dark, and has lobotomies since that was what, the 60s? I watched this in my catholic high schools film studies class, so I don't think there's anything overly egregious. But an interesting lens for the Desolation.

The Count of Monte Cristo - by Alexandre Dumas: For a fun revenge romp. The titular count gets his revenge after everything he's ever loved has been stolen from him and looks to do the same to his betrayers. Err sexual violence happens here as well. A bit of background that might inform the reader: Dumas' father was half black and affected by the 1802 discrimination laws, causing him- a high ranking military officer to be dismissed. The precursor to Monte Cristo, 'Georges' deals more heavily in themes of colonialism and racial discrimination.

End

Masque of the Red Death - by Edgar Allen Poe: You know why this is here. Warning for plague allegories and people not properly social distancing.

Nothing in the Dark - (Twilight Zone): No words needed, it's the Twilight Zone.

Death Parade - by Yuzuru Tachikawa: This is your fun suggestion. It's light for the most part, but there are scenes and moments that will absolutely hit you.

Extinction

Godzilla - A whole bunch of people: Atomic bomb fear during a time of censorship. Everything is an allegory.

Flesh

Tokyo Ghoul - by Sui Ishida: It's the most Magnus-y out of all my suggestions and I desperately want to see a crossover between them. The manga is better as the anime tends to brutalise plot points and water down the horror. Deals with becoming a cannibal, the nature of humanity, and other things. Warning for mentions of child abuse. Kaneki has a sort of - if Martin was the Archivist vibes. Not 1-1 of course, but if I had to make a comparison, that's the one.

Lamb to the Slaughter - by Roald Dahl: Arguably more slaughter, but hey I'm not giving you any warnings. I read this short story for ninth grade english, so I'm sure you can survive this one.

Hunt

Se7en - by Andrew Kevin Walker: A movie about a detective hunting serial killer. It's excellent, there's gruesome murder scenes. It's from the 90s go watch it.

Frankenstein - by Mary Shelley: From the perspective of Mr. Frankenstein it's the terror of being hunted, from the monster's perspective it's the horror of being alone. It's good, a pillar of sci-fi written by a teenager, don't snub this because it's classical lit.

The Bone Collector - by Jeremy Iacone: Another detective hunting a murderer. Also from the 90s and also excellent. Look, the 90s don't pull their punches, it's got blood and lots of it. A favourite film of mine.

Lonely

The Metamorphosis - by Franz Kafka: Turning into a big bug does not a corruption/flesh story make.

Passengers (2016)- by Jon Spaihts: I hate this movie, it's clearly a horror, but they try to pass it as a romance. Anyway, for psychological lonely horror and manipulation, this is a movie for you.

Slaughter

Go watch a classic slasher film. I don't care for senseless violence, so I don't like most of this sort of media.

Read up on a war or a riot. Learn how your nation's government discriminates and persecutes minorities historically and today.

Sweeney Todd - by Hugh Wheeler: The musical is the better known version. Some flesh horror here as well. It's not really senseless, as I think the Slaughter should be, but hey, we need substance here.

Spiral

The Giver - by Lois Lowry: A utopia that is not quite right. Read for school when I was nine, I'm sure you can all live without a warning list.

The Matrix - by the Wachowskis: Reality is an illusion, and the Universe is a hologram.

Truman Show - by Andrew Niccol: You know why this is here.

Stranger

Coraline - by Neil Gaiman: The scariest children's book. Other!Mother and all that jazz are so very Strange.

The Landlady - by Roald Dahl: Taxidermy.

Vast

Lovecraft: I'm sorry, I can only think of him. No one else is so ignorant as to be able to capture the horror of things beyond their ken.

Web

Medea - by Euripides: The God's suck, it's a Greek tragedy, bad things happen to everyone without discrimination. Children are harmed, Medea is dosed by Aphrodite, Jason is literally the worst.

Animal Farm - by George Orwell: It's anti-authoritarian and deals with the mutability of laws and how uneducated masses are sheep. . . literally. You will feel horrified, it's a short read.

There's also some children's story about a spider/snake(?) and gluttony that I've been looking for, for the past year. It's pretty similar to Mr. Spider, but the villain consumes so many victims that he becomes too large to leave his den and is blockaded in by those he terrorized, and it's heavily implied that he starves to death. For the life of me I can't remember a title, but then, it's been 15 or so years.

[eden-regained]

Terror-Trio hcs bc I still adore those shitty rat kids

-The gang are not friends per se. Kai (Killa K) stays around the other two because he’s secretly a big shy softie, quite insecure and he needs validation bad. Saskia (Missy Master) tags along because she suffers from chronic boredom and is also highkey amused by the boys’ dumbfuckery. And Benny? Dude’s a trainwreck on two legs with too much charisma for his own good.

-One of the few other kids apart from Daka and Silvania who is not completely terrified of Benny is Ludo, infact, he’s wholly unimpressed by that Watermelon-Yeeting-Overlord. 

Ludo can not only see the souls of the dead, he also has heightened intuition and he can somewhat feel what a living person is thinking and what emotions they’re experiencing, though this part of his abilites is comparatively limited. Thus, the tough exterior Benny more or less unconsciously puts on every day are just flat out shallow waters for Ludo, he can read the guy like a book without having to exchange words with him. Benny in a way already suspects something about Ludo is off and he doesn’t dare lay a hand on the smol guy. But that’s not the only reason he leaves him alone.

Ludo weirdly is the only schoolmate Benny allows near him on a rather frequent basis as Ludo’s non-judgemental, calm and patient nature comforts Benny immensely. In a way, Ludo is the truest friend Benny has for a long time as he’s always listening.

-Missy, whilst not looking or behaving like it for that matter, is the best student in her class, if not in the whole seventh year. She’s the only one in the Trio who regularly does her homework and most of her grades are top tier. For the teachers, especially the strict and demanding Ms Renneberg this is a dilemma; she’s a little shit but she’s, like, the only student in that thoroughly demotivated class who cares to significantly and pretty much effortlessly contribute to her lessons.

-Killa has the singing voice of an angel. Yes, he is a soprano and also yes, he’d rather die than have his classmates find out he was “that choir kid” in elementary school.

-Daka and Benny have suprisingly similar music tastes. Their first non-hostile, even somewhat amicable interaction ever was Daka complimenting the ear-shredding punk-rock screeching and oldschool hip-hop beats occasionally echoing from Benny’s headphones during lunch break. Benny of course tried giving her the coldest shoulder he could muster up after having been scared shitless by Silvania and her yeeting him up a tree but Daka was persistent enough to coax a genuine conversation out of the guy. Long story short, she ended up recommending Krypton Krax to him. He gave them a shot right that same day when he got home and really enjoyed what he was listening to. That was, until he heard Onko’s voice and subsequently got this sense of dark nostalgia, loneliness and sorrow and he couldn’t quite point his finger as to why that was the case...

-Missy’s a horror movie nerd. Whilst Helene is more of a classics-person and Daka the slasher-type Missy is into both Avantgarde and parodies. She, along with Helene and Daka after surprisingly being asked out by them, went to see a rerun of the first Scary Movie and had a good laugh. Soon the girls lowkey made a habit outta marathoning the spooky stuff in theaters.

-Whether it’s an addiction to the adrenaline rush, a deathwish or plain stupidity, Benny loves to pick fights with pretty much everyone he thinks can pack a punch. He once got into an all out brawl with a few upperclassmen who of course whooped his ass, though he put up a somewhat good fight and wore that nasty black eye, busted lip and contused swollen arm with pride. He had a jolly good time annoying the shit outta Daka, wanting to see just how far he could push her until it’d all crash down on him. However, he didn’t calculate her and Silvania being literal half vampires.

-Killa’s part of a catholic household with his dad being a bishop. Neither are his parents really strict with him nor is he actually religious himself, but he does enjoy the “Catholic aesthetic” and so he especially likes wearing rosaries, that almost gothic looking one once belonging to his paternal grandma is his favorite.

-Benny’s father only spent a very short time with Semele as he simply did not get along with that quintessential (in the worst way possible) girlboss but he did make an effort in regularly seeing their son for a few years. Sadly, he passed away when Benny was around three to four years old due to an overdose mysterious circumstances. The memories of him are fuzzy; barely tangible anymore yet Benny still has a much closer bond with him than with his mother, though one could argue that’s not saying much considering Benny almost despises Semele for deliberately ingoring or avoiding him.

[qworflordking]

As an ex Catholic your Super Catholic/Christian(?) Chrollo evangelizing infidels with his secret network of priest is gold.

Sometimes I think that Chrollo as hard line Catholic, you know those guys who volunteers to teach Catechism and the March for Life, prays the Rosary daily and takes the Communion every Sunday at mass never eats meat at lent and . Although he has some heretic ideas (Judas did no wrong, murder is ok and plundering the rich is funny) he is 100% faithful to the Church and he is just waiting for retire himself from his criminal life or that in a point near his death to confess all his sins to a priest and then and go straight to heaven in a machiavellian but still holy way, just like Constantine did (first Christian Roman Emperor no the DC comics guy).

Sources: My brain on drugs and my Catechism class flashbacks from elementary school.

Oh God anon Chrollo is definitely the type who knows his Deathbed Repentance means he'll go to heaven....

I always hc Chrollo as some sort of religious nut bc look at the man. I like the thought him being some hardliner fundamentalist BUT with too many weird ideas and he has some minor dispute with another church leader (because he is a leader, of course,) and he starts one of those weird "home churches" and things get very.... odd.

personally I was raised Eastern Orthodox with a side helping of pentecostal/holy roller/actually going to my aunts "home church" that was just twelve people in a room speaking in tongues for FOUR HOURS --> that is exactly the vibe I want for him.

alternatively: Chrollo's Summer Slasher movie where he's a counselor at Youth Camp who goes on a killing spree when he catches the teens having PREMARITAL SEX. he presided at their promise ring ceremonies & he's very upset.

[jods-tablet]

.

[ojcobsessed]

oliver jackson-cohen for flaunt magazine, by jessica romoff, july 2019

***

The first horror movie I ever saw was The Exorcist on my grandmother’s RCA console TV, midnight on Christmas Eve. My grandmother is a Catholic Portuguese woman who was devout to cross stitching and Jesus Christ, resulting in crucifixes nailed into every wall of the living room. So, as every flash and jolt from the TV screen would animate the tortured figurines with chilling white light, I prepared in panic and thrill for each one to flip upside down.

Not only did this movie ignite my passionate love for horror, but actor Oliver Jackson Cohen’s passion as well. Mine lead me to accumulating random 70’s slasher movie memorabilia and sporadic nightmares, while Cohen’s lead him to eventually being the star of hit Netflix horror miniseries The Haunting of Hill House as his character Luke Crain, with a few nightmares as well. The 10 episode show is a modern reimagining of Shirley Jackson’s novel “Hill House” and follows the Crain family during the summer they lived in the haunted home, and flashes forward on their lives decades after the tragic events.

During a phone interview with him, I learned Cohen is much more than just a dedicated actor with a jawline that can cut glass; Cohen is a whirlpool of empathy, an artist who gushes his heart into everything he does, and demands that his character Luke, and those battling with similar struggles, are portrayed more than just their addiction.

With your role in last season, I was really impressed by how you portrayed a character with drug addiction, and how you refrained from making him a stereotypical, one dimensional person - and I was wondering how you avoided leaning on this cliche when approaching Luke?

Thank you, number one, I think we all have seen drug addicts portrayed in movies and tv shows before. Most of the time, they are always portrayed as their addiction, and I don’t think that’s very true for anyone who knows anyone who has substance abuse problems; there is actually a fucking person there. So it was very clear from the get-go that I had a responsibility to present a fully formed human being, and they actually brought in a specific writer to write Luke’s character- who was a heroin addict in recovery. I said to Mike, the director and creator of the show - before we even started that it’s very important that Luke is the sum of all his parts and is not just his addiction. So I think that the way I approached it, is that when I first began doing all the research and the pre-work before we started filming, I started looking at documentaries, because I had never done heroin before, so I thought, Oh I’ll start looking at documentaries - but then I realized quite early on that that was putting a judgement on him. And I don’t think it’s fair - because behind anyone who has fallen into this trap is someone who is deeply struggling. And I felt it - I felt a huge amount of, not pressure, but a need to show the person behind the addiction and show the person who is actually struggling, and why he had become an addict. So I focused on that - so I spent no time whatsoever seeing Lucas as a drug addict; I saw him as someone who was struggling to come to terms with everything that he had experienced and happened in his life. And so I focused on anyone who is trying to numb themselves, that know they’re running away from something. So I built up the terror of that, instead of focusing on “I need my fix.”

Was there something that happened in your own life, that was out of your control and not your fault, but regardless someone judged you because of that - perhaps driving your connection to Luke’s character?

Oh 100 percent, and that’s what is so interesting, because I don’t have a substance abuse problem - but I think that out of all the characters I have ever played in the past 10 years, there’s the most of me in Luke. Like, all of that stuff of just trying to function, and the vulnerability, and just trying to be normal, and being so ashamed - all of that is my own shit, and so [laughs] I didn’t need to be a heroin addict to understand the pain that he was going through, so, so much. I think it’s incredible getting to play someone like that because, in a weird way it felt like therapy - I was able to go to work everyday and just be all the parts of myself. I think it’s interesting as well for men, there’s this whole thing about having to be a certain way, having to always be strong, and I think inherently a lot of people do feel incredibly fragile. So all of that stuff of Luke is me, and my stuff, and I didn’t have to pretend - I just got to go to work and be as vulnerable as I feel. You know we all have incredibly complicated lives and incredibly complicated upbringings,  and I used all of my stuff: I was diagnosed with PTSD a couple of years ago so all of that is in there with Luke - and it felt incredibly cathartic to be able to kind of put it all out there and be there.

When your work is something that is so emotionally rigorous, and strenuous, it must be very draining dedicating yourself to a character who is really struggling his whole life  - How do you unwind and decompress from this intensity?

[Laughs] I….you know what, I’m not very good at it. I feel like I’m one of those people, I’m sort of with the school of thought that you either go to work and you fucking do it  - and you do it for real, or go home. I’m not into this whole I’ll just pretend! thing, so it’s probably not the healthiest way of working. But I feel it’s necessary, and then I don’t know how to handle it. There were a couple of days on set where specifically we were filming all of Luke’s episodes or the stuff where he’s sort of roaming the streets - that got way too intense. We would rap at 6 am and I would go back to my house and sleep for a bit, and then wake up and just be so out of sorts: I would have to call people at home to reassure me that everything was okay.

I imagine the intensity can be overwhelming

Yeah, I mean, it sounds really wonky - but I think that when you’re messing around with stuff like that, and you’re tricking your brain into thinking something is real, and then on top of that you’re drawing from your own personal well of shit that probably should be kept untouched - it’s gonna be messy at times. So yeah, it gets… it did get a little hairy. But again I felt that it was important - and I think all of us across the board in the cast felt that it was so important to do that - to give Luke a voice. And what’s been so interesting when the show came out, it was so overwhelming, the response, specifically from people that have struggled with addiction. And it was so warming to hear these stories from people, so I think it was necessary for all of us as actors to go to those dark parts of ourselves, and put that out on screen.

Is there something that you wish you knew before you began acting in a horror TV series? Or about a TV series with intense family drama with horror influence?

Hm..I don’t know. Just… it’s all good. [laughs] it’s gonna be all good.

Honestly, that’s pretty solid universal advice. And I was wondering, are you a fan of horror in general?

Yes! Huge

And is this a genre that you want to continue with?

Yes, I had never done anything horror before, so this was a dream. I remember I watched The Exorcist when I was like eight or something, and it completely terrified me - and I still to this day have nightmares about it. I think what’s so clever about horror, and I think specifically with what Mike has done on our show, it becomes a metaphor for something else. So specifically with Hill House, if you take away the house and all the ghosts and all the horror elements, it’s about childhood trauma. So you can swap out what all those kids went through, the horror they experienced, can be swaped out for sexual abuse, or physical abuse, or anything like that. So you manage to kind of navigate all of these horrific things we kind of don’t want to look at, in the veil of ghosts, so it becomes palatable for an audience. I never knew this, Netflix told me this, that horror is the most watched genre in the whole world.

Really!?

Across the board, yeah! I thought it would be comedy. But that’s why Netflix made the show. Because they realized that actually there was such a massive market for horror. So yeah, a really long winded answer to your short question - yes I was a fan of horror, I always have been.

Me too! I’ve never thought about how horror can be a metaphor for trauma. That’s so fascinating. Just one last question - I know that you can’t say too much about the second season… right? Or they’ll shoot you.

Right [laughs]

So, see if you can answer this: if Season 1 and Season 2 were mythical creatures, what would they be?

[Laughs] What would they be… ahhh...I genuinely don’t know how to answer that question. They’re both just beasts from the darkest corners of our minds. Season 1…. Uh… what I can say - is that season 1 I believe was amazing, and with what they’re doing with season 2 is even…. More incredible.

[sad-boy-hank]

faesite /pos

what other ancient eldritch fandom can I unearth today

hm well. i had a. a p big slasher/creepypasta phase that introduced me to tumblr. you can thank catholic school for my curiosity.