#caterpillar's dialogues were a pain in the ass man

[kanasmusings]

[Translation] Lost Alice Drama Track 1

Woohoo! Here is ‘Lost Alice’ finally~  As usual, I’ll be referring to the characters with their names in the story. Also, a huge thank you to the Anon who told me the official English spelling of the characters’ names! That was a huge help ^^

Characters:

Shinomiya Natsuki – Charles Liddell

Kotobuki Reiji – White Rabbit

Hijirikawa Masato – The Hatter

Kurosaki Ranmaru – Cheshire Cat

Camus – Albert Liddell

Jinguji Ren - March Hare

Aijima Cecil - Dormouse

Under the cut as usual, enjoy~

[UtaPri Shining Masterpiece Show - Lost Alice Drama Track 1]

LOST ALICE - Act 1

ALL: “Lost Alice”

WHITE RABBIT: Are you Alice? A beloved child.

THE HATTER: Who is Alice? An unloved child.

CHESHIRE CAT: Who’s to say who is Alice or who isn’t Alice?

WHITE RABBIT: Welcome to Wonderland! A never-ending paradise.

CHESHIRE CAT: Goodbye, oh normal world. A paradise about to meet its end.

THE HATTER: Fall! Slowly and slowly…

THE HATTER: Deeper and deeper…

CHESHIRE CAT: Now, let’s open the door to a new beginning.

THE HATTER: Climb! Gently and lightly…

THE HATTER: Higher and higher until you reach heaven…

WHITE RABBIT: Now, ring the bell of the beginning.

CHESHIRE CAT: Is this a dream?

WHITE RABBIT: Or is it reality?

THE HATTER: Lies and truth.

CHESHIRE CAT: They go hand in hand.

THE HATTER: To part with something or to acquire something.

WHITE RABBIT: What we gain and what we lose is…

  ***

  WHITE RABBIT: It was a fine May morning, surrounded by beautiful greenery.

WHITE RABBIT: What a magnificent sight it truly is.

WHITE RABBIT: It was a fun and exciting picnic where the sunlight shines on, the forest is brilliant, and you can hear the laughter of various people.

WHITE RABBIT: Yes. All but one was having fun…

ALBERT: Charles! Stop reading fairy tales in such a secluded place. Go and greet everybody.

ALBERT: After that is the tea party.

CHARLES: Why don’t you just go and do it, Big Brother Albert?

CHARLES: Why do I have to do something I don’t want to?

CHARLES: Honestly, I find these creepy tea parties very unnecessary!

CHARLES: Reading your boring books is even better.

ALBERT: Would you desist already? This is an age old tradition after all.

ALBERT: You are of age already. You have to be aware of your surroundings more now.

ALBERT: Good grief. It’s bothersome that you’ve only grown taller but not more mature.

ALBERT: Today is a very important custom for the Liddell Family. I can’t just let you do what you want.

ALBERT: It’s a picnic to deepen our relations with our friends and families.

CHARLES: There’s no one here who really wants to see me.

CHARLES: I’m sure they’ll only be talking gossip as they always do while drinking tea.

CHARLES: I’m very different from you, Big Brother. I’m an unloved child.

CHARLES: All I need is you.

ALBERT: Will you stop already?! It’s because you act like that that they think you’re unusual!

CHARLES: …! That’s right… I’m unusual! I’m not perfect like you, Big Brother!

CHARLES: Please, just leave me alone! (Charles starts to walk away)

ALBERT: Wait a minute, Charles! The forest is—

CHARLES: I hate you, Big Brother!

CHARLES: Ah…!

ALBERT: Watch out!

(Charles falls down the rabbit hole)

ALBERT: CHARLES!!

  ***

  (Charles wakes up after the long fall)

CHARLES: … Wh-where is this…?

CHARLES: I fell down a hole and then…

CHARLES: …! I can’t remember…

CHARLES: It’s completely dark. Where’s everyone? Big Brother?

CHARLES: Is no one here?

(Charles hears White Rabbit running)

WHITE RABBIT: This is bad, very bad! I won’t make it, I won’t!

WHITE RABBIT: I need this and that! If I don’t prepare them, I’ll be in trouble!

CHARLES: What’s wrong…?

WHITE RABBIT: Uwah--! Wh-who are you?! (White Rabbit suddenly stops running and runs into Charles)

WHITE RABBIT: O-ow…! Oh my, if it isn’t Alice!

WHITE RABBIT: What are you doing in a place like this?

CHARLES: Alice? My name’s not Alice. My name is Charles Liddell.

WHITE RABBIT: What are you saying? You are Alice! What should I call you aside from Alice?

WHITE RABBIT: You came from the world above, didn’t you?

CHARLES: That’s true… I don’t know what this place is. I don’t belong here.

WHITE RABBIT: Then, you really are Alice~! That’s what you’re called here.

WHITE RABBIT: My name’s White Rabbit. Nice to meet you, my friend~

CHARLES: Eh…?

WHITE RABBIT: Anyway, Alice, this is bad! We can’t just stand around here. Time waits for no one, see?

WHITE RABBIT: (he takes out a watch) I was just in the middle of turning back the hands on this clock.

WHITE RABBIT: But… This clock is broken and won’t do as I say.

WHITE RABBIT: (he turns the hands again) See? Just like this!

WHITE RABBIT: I keep turning them and turning them but… it’s a futile effort.

CHARLES: Why are you in such a hurry? What’s going on?

WHITE RABBIT: What do you mean ‘what’?! It’s a big a problem, really, a big one! Time is of the essence!

WHITE RABBIT: Time is money, you know? No, wait, it’s even more important than money.

WHITE RABBIT: It can’t be bought with money and it disappears before we know it. It is a thing to which we lose our precious things!

WHITE RABBIT: (with a sudden change of tone) It’s too late once you fail. Once you’ve lost it, life won’t give you the chance to fix it.

WHITE RABBIT: I…

WHITE RABBIT: I’ve failed many times so I know it well…

CHARLES: Then, what should we do?

WHITE RABBIT: That’s why I’m hurrying so it won’t happen again! Just like this…!

WHITE RABBIT: Even if… it’s futile…

WHITE RABBIT: It’s better to regret its results than regret doing nothing.

WHITE RABBIT: You can’t get used to the feeling of losing something no matter how many times it has happened.

WHITE RABBIT: But… not knowing what’s going to happen next is destiny.

WHITE RABBIT: And yet, once it actually happens we’re not prepared for it! We can just accept it.

WHITE RABBIT: Even when we try our hardest, there are times when we just can’t do anything!

WHITE RABBIT: That, too, is… fate…

WHITE RABBIT: But, there’s something I have to do. It’s my duty, you see?

WHITE RABBIT: See ya. I have to get going soon.

CHARLES: Wait! Where are you going?

CHARLES: I want to know the way home. This place is strange and cold… And it’s scary…

WHITE RABBIT: (in a serious and foreboding tone) There’s no way out. You just have to move forward.

WHITE RABBIT: (in his usual cheery tone) By the by~ You’re interested in where I’m going so are you going to help me~?

CHARLES: No, I just want to—

WHITE RABBIT: Thank you, Alice! I really need your help!

WHITE RABBIT: Wait, no. It can’t get started without you there! Definitely be there, okay!? (White Rabbit runs off)

CHARLES: Ah… Wait a minute, Mr. White Rabbit! Hey, please wait! (Charles starts running after him)

  ***

  CHARLES: (sighs) I lost sight of Mr. White Rabbit…

CHARLES: I’m the one who needs some help.

CHARLES: Geez… I don’t even know where I am.

CHARLES: Tch. What’s really going on?!

CHARLES: (trips on a bush) Uwah! O-ow… What’s with this bush!? I’m really down on my luck today…

FLOWER A: (laughs) What a pathetic Alice. Tripping on a rock and rolling down. Serves you right~

CHARLES: (gasps) The flower spoke!

FLOWER B: Who decided that flowers can’t talk~?

FLOWER B: As if we’d keep quiet about something as interesting as this!

FLOWER A: More importantly, this time’s Alice is a little dunce, huh?

FLOWER C: Yes~ Plus, he’s very self-centred.

FLOWER C: Even though he just tripped on his own, he blames it on other people and he’s very irritated~

FLOWER D: (giggles) Yoo-ho~ We’re not really people though~ We’re flowers.

FLOWER A: This is my first time seeing an Alice like this. The ones before were elegant and friendly.

FLOWER A: Really, he’s such an unusual Alice~

CHARLES: Shut up! What would you know about me?

FLOWER D: He’s so harsh with words, too, oh my~

FLOWER D: Looks like he doesn’t have manners, nya~

FLOWER C: Uwoohhh~ Oh, so scary~ He’s so quick to yell.

FLOWER B: He’s got no good points, huh~

FLOWER D: So true~

FLOWER C: Such a pitiful one.

FLOWER and B: (laughs)

CHARLES: …! (he runs away)

CHARLES: It’s always like this…

CHARLES: No matter where I go… There’s no one who understands me!

CATERPILLAR: (turning pages) Volume 6… “The Origins of the Forest”…  About 100 pages…

CATERPILLAR: This substance is Thee up of carbonated water and calcium as the main ingredients… I’m sure it’ll react well with sweetened water.

CATERPILLAR: A doline is a hole on the earth’s surface… I see.

CATERPILLAR: Page 64 of the tax structures…

CATERPILLAR: Inheritance is a fortune that’s divided and changed depending on the amount of people who’ll receive it… I see…

CATERPILLAR: Then there’s… page 81 of the analysis on the mind…

CATERPILLAR: The unconsciousness of a person compared to the consciousness is…

CHARLES: Um… Isn’t it difficult to read more than one book at once?

CHARLES: I’m pretty sure it’ll be easier to read and understand one at a time…

CATERPILLAR: That may be the case for you but it’s not for me.

CATERPILLAR: This is further proved that I can still hear and understand you perfectly at the same time. Worry not.

CATERPILLAR: “There’s no one who understands me!” There was so much displeasure in that sentence.

CATERPILLAR: (closes his book) However, there is no need to be so down, Alice.

CATERPILLAR: A person finds it hard to understand himself so you shouldn’t be bothered about not being understood by others.

CHARLES: …! Then what about you?

CATERPILLAR: It is in me not understanding myself that I can understand more.

CATERPILLAR: Unlike you, see?

CATERPILLAR: I am but a mere caterpillar. Nothing more, nothing less.

CATERPILLAR: But, it is quite humorous to see you irritated about others not understanding you when you don’t understand yourself.

CHARLES: I don’t… want to understand myself either.

CATERPILLAR: You recognize that and yet you’re unable to understand others.

CATERPILLAR: Well, I guess that’s just about what you’re capable of.

CATERPILLAR: (laughs) ‘Read a book one at a time,’ you say?

CATERPILLAR: I didn’t think that you’d suggest that to a reader.

CATERPILLAR: Do you think that books have more value than yourself?

CHARLES: I mean… Books are more important than people, aren’t they?

CATERPILLAR: You’re quite the selfish one.

CATERPILLAR: You think only of yourself and not consider what others are thinking.

CATERPILLAR: That is… simply your logic.

CATERPILLAR: More so—

CHARLES: Enough, please! I don’t want to hear any more.

CHARLES: You’re nagging too much like Big Brother does!

CATERPILLAR: Let’s see here… That person is…

CATERPILLAR: Is he really a bad person? Or is he only bad in your perception?

CATERPILLAR: Moreover, listen until a person finis—

CHARLES: That’s not true! I’ve heard enough. Please excuse me.

  ***

  CHARLES: This place is really full of weird people!

(cat bell rings)

CHESHIRE CAT: (chuckles) I wonder what they mean by ‘unusual’~

CHESHIRE CAT: Answering what’s unusual or not is difficult, huh~

CHESHIRE CAT: Anyway, is that something that you can say?

CHARLES: Who--!? There’s no one here… Even though there’s a voice…

CHESHIRE CAT: I wonder~ Who am I, really~?

CHESHIRE CAT: ‘I am someone, and I am not.’

CHESHIRE CAT: The only one who can decide that is you.

CHESHIRE CAT: The question ‘Who am I?’ is not really that difficult~

CHESHIRE CAT: When I am not here then I am not.

CHESHIRE CAT: When I am here, then I am here.

CHESHIRE CAT: Such as when there’s a front, there’s a behind.

CHESHIRE CAT: I’m that much of a contradictory existence.

CHESHIRE CAT: The others call me Cheshire Cat.

CHESHIRE CAT: (laughs) Do you hate strange people, boy?

CHARLES: (deep breath) Yes. I’ve only been troubled the moment I arrived here!

CHARLES: The guy I asked for the way home won’t tell me and he hurried off.

CHARLES: Some flowers just kept on making fun of me even though they knew nothing about me…!

CHARLES: I’m this troubled and yet no one will help me!

CHESHIRE CAT: Is that so, is that so? You’re troubled, huh~

CHESHIRE CAT: You said you wanted to go home?

CHESHIRE CAT: Unfortunately, no one here’s really an ally or an enemy.

CHESHIRE CAT: It’d be best to keep that in mind.

CHESHIRE CAT: Hm~ You reeeeaaally don’t know anything, do you?

CHESHIRE CAT: You’re as sweet as can be.

CHESHIRE CAT: But that doesn’t mean that you can just be protected by anyone anywhere.

CHESHIRE CAT: You are free here. There’s no right or wrong. You’re free to live the way you want to~

CHESHIRE CAT: That’s right, freely~

CHESHIRE CAT: You don’t dislike that right, boy? Being free.

CHESHIRE CAT: And yet, you’re so displeasured.

CHESHIRE CAT: ‘Alice is really unusual,’ was it~?

CHESHIRE CAT: (laughs in a taunting kind of way)

CHARLES: You speak as if you know everything.

CHESHIRE CAT: Well, not everything~

CHESHIRE CAT: What I know is the same as what you do.

CHESHIRE CAT: In other words, as long as you know it then I will, too~

CHESHIRE CAT: Hey, Alice.

CHESHIRE CAT: Do you really want to go home?

CHARLES: … O-of course I do!

CHESHIRE CAT: Heh~ ‘of course,’ huh?

CHESHIRE CAT: Then, I think you should go that way~

CHESHIRE CAT: I’m sure there’s some delicious food over there. You’re hungry aren’t you, boy~?

CHESHIRE CAT: Eat your fill first.

CHARLES: I’m not hungry!

CHESHIRE CAT: No~ You are.

(Charles’ stomach grumbles)

CHARLES: …!

CHESHIRE CAT: See? (laughs) You’re not gonna be late going home anyway.

CHESHIRE CAT: I’m pretty sure you’ll find what you need there, Alice~

  ***

THE HATTER: Cheers to the tea party where anything goes!

MARCH HARE: Cheers~! The Hatter really knows how to throw a party! Let’s all let our hearts out and enjoy this to the fullest~

(glass breaks)

THE HATTER: (laughs) Goodness, this cake is marvellous! It flies so well with the cup.

DORMOUSE: (nervously) A-ah… that cup is… the thirteenth cup you’ve broken…

DORMOUSE: Uwah…! So wasteful… Why did you do that…? It’s the end of the world…

THE HATTER: Oh, Dormouse! Let us enjoy no matter what happens!

THE HATTER: Also, it is because we’ve already broken so many that we need not be aware of what we throw next!

THE HATTER: Plus, everything that holds shape will be broken someday.

MARCH HARE: I wouldn’t dare think that even a stylish cup like this could be broken.

MARCH HARE: This might be an omen for something good~! Woah, this is the best!

THE HATTER: Exactly! If you keep in mind that we can buy new cups then, see, what do you think~?

THE HATTER: The fun will increase!

DORMOUSE: That… may be… Yeah, that’s right!

DORMOUSE: Then let me break my remaining cups, too. Cheers~

(laughter erupts from the trio)

CHARLES: (quietly) Amazing…! They’re doing toasts using tea cups. If I did that at a normal tea party, Big Brother will surely scold me.

(Charles steps on a twig)

THE HATTER: Oh my, this is…! (he claps his hands) March Hare, Dormouse, we have a guest~

THE HATTER: Young Master, your hand please. (he grabs Charles’ hand)

THE HATTER: Now, over here please.

CHARLES: A-ah, please wait a minute... U-um… I’m looking for the way home and—

THE HATTER: Let’s leave the talk for later. Have a seat first.

THE HATTER: Now, this should be fine. Everyone, please greet Young Master Alice.

MARCH HARE: Welcome, Alice~ Cute guests are always welcome! I am now a very happy March Hare~

MARCH HARE: (giggles) You’re very lucky to have met me, Alice~

CHARLES: N-nice to meet you… You’re quite energetic, aren’t you?

THE HATTER: The March Hare is truly a strange one so we have no idea what he’ll do next! He is unpredictable~

THE HATTER: You might get eaten if you come too close to him.

MARCH HARE: Hey, hey, Hatter, that’s too much of a compliment~ Flattery will get you nowhere, you know~?

THE HATTER: (laughs) It’s your turn next! Come on, now’s not the time to be sleeping.

THE HATTER: Please pour some tea for Alice.

DORMOUSE: (yawns) Sure… I am… always sleepy so I’m a Dormouse…

DORMOUSE: The tea that I’d recommend is… (sleepily) the Darjeeling from… this pot…

DORMOUSE: It’s the best—(yawns) tea there is… (snores)

(the tea cups and stuff clatter as Dormouse falls asleep on the table)

CHARLES: Ah, this is bad…!

THE HATTER: It is fine! It’s a normal thing that happens in this tea party.

THE HATTER: It’s a small matter to be angry over. Moreover, he’s participating even though he’s sleeping so it’s fine~

DORMOUSE: (sleep talking) Please continue…

CHARLES: Ah… It’s true…! This is my first time in a tea party like this!

CHARLES: It’s refreshing and very fun, isn’t it?

THE HATTER: Thank you, Young Master! The Darjeeling pot has been ruined so let’s drink some other tea.

THE HATTER: What pastry would you like to eat?

MARCH HARE: Oh yeah~ How about the usual cookie. That special one that you always keep in your hat, Hatter~

THE HATTER: That is a NICE idea! (he takes off his hat to give some cookies) This is what ‘taking your hat off to someone’ really means~

THE HATTER: This is what I call the Hatter hospitality. Would you like one, Young Master?

CHARLES: Woah, they look delicious! Such cute hat-shaped cookies. Thank you!

(alarm rings)

THE HATTER: Oh, no, you can’t! (he snatches the cookie away from Charles)

CHARLES: What are you doing? You said I could eat it a while ago! Didn’t you give that to me?

THE HATTER: It is a law that the tea party should take a break once in a while.

THE HATTER: This alarm is the signal for that break.

THE HATTER: Well, even though we say that, this alarm is broken so we don’t know when it will go off.

CHARLES: No way…! Isn’t it a weird rule for a tea party to require a break at all?

CHARLES: There’s no way that it’s a law, is there?

MARCH HARE: Even if you tell us that, it’s a decided thing. We were told to strictly obey it.

THE HATTER: It’s unnecessary but at the same time it is. This world is just like that.

DORMOUSE: (sleep-talking) You’re quite the… unusual one, huh… Alice… (snores)

THE HATTER: (laughs) You say such interesting things, Young Master. Really, very wonderful.

(Charles slams his hand on the table)

CHARLES: It’s not interesting at all! (the tea sets clatter)

DORMOUSE: (snaps awake and panics) That way of speaking…! Did the King of Hearts suddenly appear?!

CHARLES: No, I’m not the King.

THE HATTER: Then, are you close to the King?

THE HATTER: Please forgive us…! We’ll do this properly. We’ll make it interesting like you wish!

THE HATTER: Please… Smile more…

THE HATTER: We beg of you… Please spare our lives…!

CHARLES: Um… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you this much.

CHARLES: Please raise your head, Mr. Hatter.

MARCH HARE: Alice, that’s the one thing you shouldn’t say to the Hatter.

MARCH HARE: That it’s not interesting, I mean.

MARCH HARE: Those words are taboo.

DORMOUSE: His life’s… riding on it, you see…?

DORMOUSE: The King’s orders are… absolute.

THE HATTER: One day, we were just doing a tea party like we usually do.

THE HATTER: It was nothing big, really. Very peaceful it was, yes.

THE HATTER: However, we were happily content with it.

THE HATTER: Reuniting with our friends, talking and laughing about random things while drinking delicious tea. It was your usual tea party.

THE HATTER: That’s when he suddenly appeared! The King of Hearts!

THE HATTER: “How uninteresting! What an uneventful tea party!” is what he told me.

THE HATTER: “Make it grander! Make it overflow with fun, don’t be afraid. Make this a perfect and free tea party!” he said.

THE HATTER: “If not…  I will have your head…” is what he told me.

CHARLES: Unbelievable…!

THE HATTER: Ever since then, it feels as if our time has stopped.

THE HATTER: No matter how many times it happens, we just repeat the same time over again.

THE HATTER: This fun tea party bound by harsh time will continue on until the King tells us to stop.

DORMOUSE: It’s not like… we’re doing it because we want to…

MARCH HARE: We have no choice. There’s just no other way. We have to make it fun even if it’s boring. Or else we’ll lose our heads.

THE HATTER: Alice went all the way here and yet we disappointed him.

THE HATTER: I am such a failure of a Hatter. A big fool who can’t do anything…!

CHARLES: That’s not true! Mr. Hatter’s not useless. You have to treasure yourself more.

CHARLES: Thank you for inviting me, I had a lot of fun.

THE HATTER: Young Master Alice…

CHARLES: I understand how you feel, Mr. Hatter. I’m always being reproved by my Big Brother, too.

CHARLES: But, this is too strange. We have to tell the King of Hearts or e— (alarm rings)

THE HATTER: Break time is over! I’m full of energy again after Alice’s encouragement.

THE HATTER: Thank you! We’re already used to it so it’s okay.

THE HATTER: We don’t want to hurt your feelings. Now, let us resume the tea party!

THE HATTER: Now then, where should we begin?

MARCH HARE: From the part where we were eating sweets while toasting.

MARCH HARE: Then, next up is riddle time.

DORMOUSE: I’ll be careful not to fall asleep… (yawns)

THE HATTER: Now then, let us enjoy this! With smiles on our faces.

THE HATTER: That’s the rule after all~ It’s the only way our heads can stay with our bodies.

DORMOUSE: With a grin and… a fun attitude…

CHARLES: No way… That’s not fun at all! I’ll go to where the King is.

CHARLES: There’s no need for you to follow such absurd rules.

CHARLES: You can’t give up! If you really want to change then…

THE HATTER: Of course I would prefer having genuine fun from the bottom of my heart.

THE HATTER: I do but…

CHARLES: I don’t know how I’ll do it but… I’m sure there’s a way!

CHARLES: That’s why let’s have courage to move forward.

CHARLES: Come on, let’s go.

MARCH HARE: That’s totally impossible~ Plus, it’s troublesome. Isn’t this fine~

DORMOUSE: (yawns) I won’t get scolded if I just sleep here… (snores)

CHARLES: I get it, you’re right. I don’t know what will happen if I go unprepared.

CHARLES: It’s scary, huh… Sorry for forcing it on you.

THE HATTER: I will go.

CHARLES: …!

THE HATTER: I will believe in Alice. And then, I’ll try believing in myself, too.

THE HATTER: Let us go together!

DORMOUSE: (sleepily) Are you really going…?

MARCH HARE: Hatter! It won’t be my fault if something happens.

THE HATTER: I am aware! Moreover, I am quite curious about Alice.

THE HATTER: It seems like he’s looking for a way home so I will help him as well.

CHARLES: Mr. Hatter…

CHARLES: I don’t know what I can do but if I’m with you I feel like I can figure it out.

CHARLES: The way to move forward…

CHARLES: Now then, let’s go!

  ==END== 

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