#catdog.txt

[catdogwalk]

[intro post work in progress]

| konrad | it/its |

bad blog. 0/10.

yeah this is where untagged vents go to. proceed with caution

(any images will be tagged)

probably wont use this one that much

[catdogwalk]

sometimes i wonder "do i even have low slash fluctuating empathy?" oooh you do. you seriously do.

[catdogwalk]

they should put me on a leash and do unspeakable things to me. please. i can be your dog. let me [redacted]

[catdogwalk]

geniuenly wish it wasnt my actual siblings but an actual adult. not because it would be worse/better but atleast i would have in back of my mind that they perfectly knew what they were doing... while young children usually dont. seriously it sucks so much and i hate it.

[catdogwalk]

(cw; discussion of sexual abuse??)

isnt it kind of sad that biggest thing that affirms to me that "hey it wasnt assault but it certainly counted as sexual abuse, even if you cant remember clearly" is like. fact that i very much have sexual intrusive thoughts. like come on. its worse because it wasnt abuse by an adult so there is all sorts of weird stuff in your brain. but its miserable. ifeel fucking gross i need to rip my skin off seriously it was long time ago and only few instances of it but seriously wtfff. i dont think im fine actually. i dont know what to do with that. its still weird to call it so in the first place

[id: drawing of chip, a doglike creature with small wings and completely black coat with dark red lineart. It has white eyes, long snout and red patch on its face resembling blood. It is sitting down, facing the camera and looking bit nervously, as a disjointed paw is placed on its neck, beside it a paw shaped print. There are 3 speech bubbles coming from the right side, also pink, with scribbles instead of dialogue. / end id]

[catdogwalk]

cats (me) will be like ohh i miss wattpad my best friend wattpad ;(( like no you dont. you miss when you had confidence and werent as anxious as you are now. but belive me you do not miss feral cat sex roleplay or people getting mad at you because you call out their ableism or person getting mad at you because you ask them to please tag something as nsfw (or that its not eben your art or fact that its ************ fandom) like come on. i could go on actually

[catdogwalk]

o yeah this blog exists. hello 👍

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pretty sure everyone hates me and ignores me on purpouse. cool 👍

[catdogwalk]

honestly i should just kill myself i didnt even get to roll around in the snow where it was still on due to not having good winter clothes. fuck this gay earth im so sad

[catdogwalk]

(discussion of sexual stuff)

actually putting it on there mmm. my relationship w my sexuality it real funny because my first time when i engaged with sexual content was actually weird mlp stuff. like it was really easy to find. then i had weird fanfiction phase then i stopped and considered myself completly sex repulsed and its weird and i dont know. i still think im ace but im not sex repulsed. i missed the period where all of my peers started having sex and considered that weird and why would you do that. i dont really experience sexual attraction atleast not regulary but also there are stuff i do in fact want. abd theres more to that and (redacted) but im not opening that up either. im not opposed on someone putting a leash on me and doing unspeakable things to me. its still weird to consider myself and talk about it like yes i in fact do want some things but also i never reallt was seriously treated by my peers as someone who could be sexual + i remember friend* in school one time saying that i give off (soft uwu) asexual vibes. she didnt say that part outloud but like come on.

im still ace and i still just stare with confusion sometimes. i still dont experience sexual attraction. i still cant rlly look at someone and go hey i want to fuck that person. but i want to be put on a leash and maybe eat out of a bowl. i dont eben know if thatbpart is sexual or just nonhuman stuff. probably both.

it does not help that my brain is all stupid sometimes and has intrusive thoughts about actual bad stuff. please stop. but i do want to be put on a leash.

also the other thing. its small enough but i geniuenly dont know it does feel very gross and makes me want to pull out all of my teeth and kill myself. bleh. but not ripping off that bandaid yet

[catdogwalk]

grins :3

[id: gif of a person shaking hands with a seal. / end id]

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penis. you know i dont have much to say there like whatever. personal account moment

[catdogwalk]

they should put me on a leash and then you know..

[catdogwalk]

hehe. i am not doing well i am in fact rather miserable guy. why am i posting this instead of describing something more fucked up i made this sideblog for those things so i dont need to live in fear of people blocking or unfollowing me for fucked up posting. i hope i get gutted alive and things. hehe.

[catdogwalk]

eehehehehehe < nothing malicious, i just think its funny this blog is sitting there. like hello

[catdogwalk]

heyy look its me hii hello waving my paws. i am bad. i am really bad. i want to crack my skull open. and its been a while since i felt this way hehe...