#catching up with my children since im temporarily free

[lapinneok]

ocs :)

[escxpiism]

( olivia holt, 23, she/her ) * hey, i’m looking for the office of ALICE ADAMS. they’re the EMPLOYEE who’s known around the office as THE MASK if that helps ? not to be a gossip, but i’ve heard that they’re ADAPTABLE but JADED, is that true ? i also heard that they’re the one who CATFISHED DAVID HASSELHOFF. anyways, here’s the coffee they ordered.

hi y’all !! i’m may ( 21 // est // she/her ) and i am super super pumped to be here !! i’m also very much writing this against my better judgment ya girl’s running on four hours of sleep and has the option to sleep more but......... is not tired ?? so i do apologize if my mind is secretly tired and makes this intro,,,, even worse than it would be fahouedn. on with the show !! anyway anyway!! feel free to like this if u wld like 2 plot and i will hit u up!!

( also, for some vibes if you so choose to read, here’s the link to her playlist ! )

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QUICK FACTS:

full name: alice audrey adams

date of birth: october 26th, 1997

*will not perfectly reflect the zodiac big three below because that’s.... math.

zodiac big three: scorpio sun, virgo moon, taurus rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual

education: ged, bachelor’s degree in film — pratt institute

enneagram: 4w3

mbti: enfp

temperament: sanguine-melancholic

label: the mask

various inspirations: “nutshell” - alice in chains, “santa monica” - everclear, “polly” - nirvana, “jennifer’s body” - hole, “creep” - stone temple pilots, kate wallis ( cruel summer - shhhh ), heather davis ( crazy ex-girlfriend ), satana hellstrom ( marvel comics ), bojack horseman - without the amount of problematic ego ( bojack horseman ), eddie huang ( fresh off the boat ), the great britney spears evolution ( temporarily stopping at circus era )

BACKSTORY:

triggers in order: toxic family dynamic, grooming (nothing super in-depth), kidnapping (? like it was ‘willing’ but no. see next trigger for why), toxic “relationship” (and 11yr age gap w/ a 16y/o we hate it), straight-up captivity, very brief mention of suicide + heroin (very!)

*would like to quickly preface that this isn’t just Dark for the sake of being r/im14andthisisdeep but that’s for a later time **(also! i have markers for where the grooming + Super Dark parts begin and end! -- also, the Super Dark part is all very public knowledge. had articles. media frenzy. first thing that comes up if you google her name) *** also. if u need it then a tl;dr is below this section hfkldsa

alice audrey adams was born to the type of family that names all of their children alliterative names ( however, they sadly didn’t get their own kardashian-style show )... alexis adams (working name, utp if taken as a wc)... alfie allison adams (working name, utp if taken as a wc)... born to anna adams and allen adams... we hate it here.

as u can see... all of the kids were basically named after allen... they all had ‘al’ names.... extremely confusing 

plot-twist: THAT’S the darkest part

the adams were very concerned with public image. as a family in the upper echelon, they simply had to be! a narcissist father, a distant mother, put in competition with her siblings — there was no truly healthy dynamic in the household. but they looked good. they went to church every sunday, a ‘wwjd’ sticker on the back of her mother’s car. they did just enough activities and took just enough trips together to get the image across. they threw parties. they attended parties. they were the picture perfect american family — they even had two cats in the yard! life used to be so hard! 

of course, in reality, this all left ms alice quite the lonely gal. but don’t worry! she didn’t turn to hedonism! lord no! instead, she turned to other people. a lot of friendships — couldn’t tell if they were real or #fortheclout — but at a point, did it matter? 

grooming tw: it all came to a screeching halt when she met luke johnson, the son of their neighbors. he came back from california to georgia to visit family, care for his ailing father. oh, he was a good man! sure, he was ‘somewhat’ older than her — 27 when she was 16 — but he was such a good, handsome young man! and they were all still calling him young man, after all. 

alice ‘began’ a torrid affair with luke after about a month into his visit. although she saw no immediate wrong in it, he insisted she keep it a secret ‘for the time being’ — which really just made it all the more exciting! he made all the storm clouds that hovered disappear.

one day, the levee broke for alice (still figuring out what exactly happened because i don’t wanna go too dark since this is already extremely dark, but trust that it had something to do with her parents and was just enough to push her over the edge). convinced luke was the only safe person, she turned to him. knowing their small community would catch on and essentially exile him, he took that opportunity to convince her to go back to santa monica with him where they could ‘start anew’ after his father’s death.

there are a few details i plan on adding regarding like. how legality playing into it. but i may just reserve those for an official bio lhakfsdfj

**BEGINNING OF SUPER DARK** for a while, there was the question of whether they should consider it a kidnapping or not. she went with him willingly, but she was still underage (and… you know, that age difference… the power dynamic... gross y’all). the adams insisted that it was (bc it basically was lbr) — primarily because it would make them look far better — but the community still questioned the logistics and legalities of it all… ugh. did the police really wanna deal with that? ugh. 

in any case, on the other side of us america, autumn was nearing. alice would have the very occasional inquiry over how school would work (very occasional! don’t worry, luke!), over the logistics of her new life… and, after receiving multiple calls from various friends (in addition to her siblings) that sounded genuine, began wondering… if she’d made the right choice. questions about him.

when she began bringing up the idea of going back — at least for the school year!! — he would continuously remind her that she was not old enough to buy herself a plane ticket (and he was not about to do that). she also couldn’t rent a car yet (and he certainly wouldn’t let her take (one of) his car(s)!). but most importantly? he loved her. and she loved him. (what a creep!)

so, for a hot second, it seemed like she was stuck. damn legalities!! damn love!! you know, until she texted her older sister back with all of the problems that only being 16... and “in love”.... caused. her sister offered to fly down, buy her a plane ticket, and fly back with her. 

when luke saw this (with all the unrestricted access to her phone he had so he could block, delete, and manipulate as he pleased), he confronted her. things went awry. she wound up in his budding wine cellar (which he soon emptied, of course… those merlots :( ….). he messaged back and, as her, said it was actually all good!! luke had figured out the logistics and she could call whenever she wanted!!

and those calls became frequent! because she would pick up when luke held it up to her! because she was pretty sure luke would kill her if she didn’t!

she wasn’t sure how long it was until she was officially Found. it took what was ruled a suicide by luke, a shot to the head and heroin in his system, to finally get any authority’s attention. all she knew was that she went to santa monica in mid june and she stopped seeing regular daylight by late july. so some time in august to some time in april… **END OF SUPER DARK + GROOMING**

she was returned to georgia shortly after and everything was different. from herself to her friends. but everything was also the same. from her room to her family. it was all… teasing. she began going to therapy, but she really sucked at it?? so she just let her therapist rely on various articles that covered the event. because it had been a media circus. good enough, amirite?? 

she didn’t have the will or patience to put on that peppy facade she’d had before, but there were still a few things she found a smidge of joy in. music (although her taste had… slightly altered and wow! it’d been almost a year since she’d picked up that bass!), videography… just those small things, you know?? 

for the first half of the ~ 2014 fall semester ~, she attempted actual school. really was not working out. with, for probably the first and only time, her parents’ approval and understanding, she dropped out and studied for a ged -- shorter and self-led -- instead. 

she passed with a pretty decent grade... but it’s been argued that she really shouldn’t have gotten into pratt institute (she was at least realistic and didn’t apply to, like… cornell), but she did. national news helps. 

while in the concrete jungle where dreams are made of, she learned of masters. she submitted an application as a joke — because her grades sucked!!!!! — but guess who got a job?? oh, she could pretend it was because her selected portfolio was actually genuinely good… but, man… we all know…

fun fact: my uncle applied to harvard as a joke. some twenty-five years later, we still haven’t heard back :\

she… continues to suck. like… she kinda wants the place to eventually burn down?? figuratively speaking (or is it…) but ya, for all the monopolizing she has seen turn people Evil?? but the hell can she do about it… just gotta make sure she keeps her in-house videographer job… maybe she can do something about it when she like… is capable. fuaihoelwdjkn

she sees an in-house therapist and i’d say ‘good for her,’ but it was mandated l m a o 

doesn’t talk about herself all that much!! but that might not matter for some people, yk?? ugh journalism <3 

y’all im so bad at ending intros.

TL;DR:

(consult above trigger list): bright kid in a super rich and toxic family because obviously. everything they did was just to look good <3 also they all had ‘a’ names which is the biggest tragedy of all :( ‘fell in love’ when she was 16ys/o with a 27y/o who was visiting to care for his father in his final days. had a torrid affair. creep. creep (luke) basically made her ‘fall in love.’ she thought creep was the only safe person at one point and creep was like ‘wanna go back 2 santa monica w me?’ and she was like ‘yes.’ and everyone was like ‘was this kidnapping... we cant tell....’ then he became even more possessive when she started questioning him and some logistics. when she finally found a way she could go back to georgia for a spell, he was like ‘no u can go in my wine cellar btw i will be taking all of the wine out.’ he kept her there from august to april and... only reason he didnt keep keeping her was bc he was Caught so. back to georgia where the devil went down. everything was Worse. even the things that were the same. but hey, the sob story that landed her in the news plenty of times got her into a college she shouldn’t have gotten into and gave her a leg-up in a joke application for a job at masters (in-house videographer). really bad at doing her work but like... fuck the man i guess?? 

PERSONALITY + HEADCANONS:

has no time for Fake Nice (which, as a born southerner, she’s really good at sniffing out!). has no time for arrogance. kind of makes her at odds with the nyc upper class...

on that note, still got a lil bit of some georgia twang

she lets herself indulge in various vices, but has left a previous hedonist status. weed and alcohol are still pretty common, but everything else is kept at arm’s length.

also, while on that topic, she Does Not drink wine. being trapped in a cellar... kinda makes u averse. like. literally despises it. will go on autopilot and make it KNOWN if offered wine.

also ALSO while on that topic, after looking it up and seeing she fits the new york city requirements, she has a medical marijuana card <3 the one good thing, if u ask her, to come out of therapy/psychiatry <3 will not show it off unless absolutely NECESSARY bc then it gets personal or <3 will lie about why and say it’s like for epilepsy or sumn unless ur rolfe but <3 she has it <3

at odds with herself. enjoys the company of others, definitely has a history of being an extrovert, but has become very selective with the company she keeps. 

VERY private person! has had enough public standing! 

...has occasionally used her story to advance her tho bc it’s her national newsworthy tragic story and she can exploit it if she wants <3

when good charlotte said “i don’t wanna be in love”?? she felt that. her last ‘relationship’ ruined that for her <3 save her <3 

used to be really into pop! bc pop is fun! she loved some britney (i mean... she still does... how can u not!)! but. her taste has changed drastically. rarely listens to pop. has traded britney for like.... hole and the like.

her parents didn’t use this as the basis for her name but,, 2 me,,, she’s named alice for a reason <3 gotta luv alice in chains <3

y’all i found a youtube comment on a video called ‘nirvana - half the man i used to be’ (the song was, in fact, ‘creep’ by stone temple pilots) and it’s <3 her music taste <3 click here for it <3

the above said, dresses like she’s in seattle in the early 90s. 

her rumor is true btw she DID catfish david hasselhoff and she will proudly tell u. it’s her best accomplishment.

completely stopped talking to her parents and got cut-off a while back ago so now she’s livin like the Prols

which is how a rich kid one of my profs once advised referred to his classmates.... hilarity ensues.

the above in mind, her parents say she’s testing the waters as a ‘normal person’ to save face. they can’t have anyone knowing their family isn’t perfect <3

she has a pet turtle whom she named “dr. turtle,” although he’s constantly referred to as “doc” or “the doc.” he has his own youtube channel and tiktok account.

she has a wall full of evidence that courtney love did not kill kurt cobain... it makes sense, believe me.

became a vegetarian...... partially because it was different from her original life and a way to control something, partially because this commercial made her feel SO BAD.

literally her default mode is stoned like... a totally sober alice is rarer than a nessie sighting

when she was 18, before she could ‘hold her liquor’ as well as she can now, she got a lil too drunk and now has a portrait tattoo of courtney love on her forearm. but it was done well at least!!

kind of ironic considering her career, but RARELY posts on any social media site except twitter. after the media circus in 2014 and All Eyes On Her, she’s just..... so tired...... of ppl seeing her face and being like ‘omg ur that wine cellar bitch!’

(drugs tw) has become more and more Addicted to playing around with fate. j chill on a ledge, talkin to some pals, but deciding it’s a good idea to swing her legs on the wrong side of ledge? totally! mixing a lot of alcohol with opioids which she is not accustomed to? DEF!! (end tw)

more to come!!

CONNECTION IDEAS:

i have two (2) queued up!! but while we wait for them to post, i’ll just… link them over here: 1, 2

muse u <3 the other half of her subplot from the main <3

her older sister!

her younger sibling!

some of the basics!! you know: close pal, roommate, drug buddies (but she gotta hit them up), fwb, ons, frenemies, enemy

ppl who recognize her from the 2014 luke johnson articles and have either brought it up or,,,,,,, act Awkward™

cld be fun 2 just have like. a jam bud. someone who plays any instrument and they j. jam sometimes.

ppl she sells. some of her medical marijuana to. bc yk what weed may be legal in nyc now but,,,, she’s still found a way to be broke she will accept anything. and also it just became legalized THIS YEAR so!!

i have a budding wc page @ https://escxpiism.tumblr.com/wcs (and when i say budding, i MEAN budding) so feel free 2 check it out!!

more to come!!

[taemyg]

candy corner (m)

6.6k+ words

members: jimin, oc - reader / ft. hoseok (& others)

genre: smut, fluff

warnings: language, oral, praise kink, food play i guess ?? but not really

Your constant craving for sweets seemed to finally give you more than just a mouthful of cavities.

a/n: this what happens when i can’t think of anything but that damn gif of jimin sucking on that lollipop. enjoy candy shop employee chim chim i hate myself so much for this and i barely proof read dis im sorry 

“Welcome to Candy Corner where you can satisfy all your sweet tooth cravings.” A voice called out after the bell from the door went off, signaling your arrival. The voice was bored and it sounded as though the person speaking was being held against their will. You smiled, already knowing who to expect as you approached the front counter.

“God, it’s you. Didn’t you already buy out all the sour patch kids two nights ago?” Yoongi accused as his eyes met yours.

“That was two nights ago, I finished the batch and am here to move onto Kit Kat bars.” You explained as though it was common sense. Yoongi’s stare was blank and he continued to show complete disinterest in the current topic. After the constant banter between the two of you, you realized Yoongi didn’t have much of an interest in candy.  “Wow, you really light up the place huh?” You sarcastically remarked as he continued to drum his fingers on the marble counter. Yoongi scoffed before shooing you away over to the chocolate bar aisle, a small smile playing on his lips. You gave him a thumbs up and wink before turning and making your way to the aisle you knew best.

Candy Corner was a fair sized candy shop with decent prices that was also conveniently located right around the block from your condo. You had first found out about the place after getting drunk at the sushi bar across the street and craving a cookies and cream bar. Surprisingly, the shop didn’t close until midnight and you stumbled in, finding a grumpy college-aged man behind the counter. The fake smile he plastered on his tired face didn’t fool you and it was no surprise to you that after a few visits Yoongi’s true self had broken free. He complained about your frequent visits but you knew he enjoyed your company. You noticed after a while not many customers your age range appeared. The shop was frequented by parents and their whiny kids trying desperately to appease them and quiet their loud cries and elders with mouths full of filled cavities. You found it comical to peak through the store’s window and watch how Yoongi’s jaw would tense as children ran around the store as though it was the neighborhood park.  When you would walk in you’d notice Yoongi’s lips twitch slightly into a smile before he barked out a sarcastic remark about you returning to buy out the store. When you would leave he’d have another remark usually hinting for you to never return. You took that as his way of inviting you to come back soon.

“You should just work here you know,” He suggested one day as he rang up your sour worms and skittles. “Then again, I don’t think we’d be in business long once you start getting an employee discount.”

After that, you noted the store didn’t have very many employees. When you asked Yoongi one day his answer was simple—it was a family business and the owner was strict on who he hired. Yoongi only worked to help pay for his college books and had gotten the job because the owner's son was his best friend. The teenage girl that rarely ever showed up for work was the owner's goddaughter and the other three boys you had occasionally seen stocking shelves were also a part of his circle of friends. He mentioned that the owner's son, Jimin, would occasionally take shifts but mainly helped his father behind the scenes with paperwork and bills.

You could recall the first day you encountered Jimin. It was hard to forget—as hard as you tried. You were carrying multiple bags of candy—varying from Swedish fish, mini Starbursts, bite sized snickers, and Jolly Ranchers— which is why you were caught off guard when your figure collided with his, falling hard you dropped all your bags on the floor, one of them bursting and sending wrapped Jolly Ranchers everywhere.

“Shit, I am so sorry,” The voice apologized, rushing you help you get back on your feet. Your eyes were focused on the mess as you stood, rubbing your bottom.

“It’s okay, I wasn’t paying attention.” You quickly spoke, bringing your hands up to your head. “What am I gonna do about this mess, Yoongi’s gonna rip my head off,” You groaned already mentally preparing for his lecture that was sure to include how this was a sign for you to cut down your candy intake.

“Yoongi?” The stranger repeated followed by a soft chuckle. This made your eyes snap up, finally looking the stranger in the face.

You were surprised your mouth didn’t drop open. The first thing you focused on were his lips. His plump, glossed lips enclosed around a lollipop stick. You instantly felt your stomach turn, feeling as though the room was getting hotter. His pink hair caught your attention next, falling across his forehead. His facial features were exquisite. The most alluring eyes you’d seen in a while paired with a charming smile.

Were you doped up on SweeTarts and now imagining unrealistic men?

“Yoongi won’t do anything, promise. Don’t worry about it sweetheart,” He smoothly spoke, making your legs feel weak.

Now the unrealistic man was calling you a pet name? SweeTarts and Airheads were a deadly combination.

“But—”

“I said don’t worry. Here.” He handed you the few bags of candy that were still in condition and took your wrist in his hand, guiding you to the front counter. You temporarily forgot about you previous fear of Yoongi due to your eyes being glued to the kind man's backside.

“Y/N?” Yoongi’s voice called out as Jimin stacked your candy on the counter. “Did something happen, Jimin?” He asked, clearly confused to why this handsome stranger had attached himself to you. You were just as confused as he was.

“I ran into her, give her all this on the house.” Your eyes widened at this, turning to him with your mouth forming a shocked ‘o’.

“W-what? No, I can pay and pay for the bag that ripped,” You shrunk when Yoongi glared at you, a knowing look on his face. His finger was itching to point at you2 accusingly.

“It’s fine, it’s a few bags of candy and I ran into you. What kind of son would I be if I let my father's customers leave injured and empty handed?”

Once again you were shocked. This handsome man was the son of the owner? You weren’t sure what you were expecting—knowing already all the men working there were quite good looking—but for some reason you were stunned. This man looked fresh out of a cover photo shoot and was giving you some of your favorite candies for free.

Jimin removed the sucker from his mouth, handing you a plastic bag filled with all the candies Yoongi had scanned up. “Plus, I hear you’re one of our best customers.” He winked with a sinful grin. Your legs were definitely wobbling now and it felt as though you were going to collapse.

It was time for you to get out of there.

You spun on your heel, mumbling a weak thank you before bolting out of the store. You heard JImin chuckle yelling out to you before the store doors closed. “Enjoy! Come back soon.”

“Ah, Y/N! Finished all the sour stuff you bought the other day already?” A deep voice asked. You jumped, turning to see Taehyung grinning at you.

You couldn’t help but smile back, shaking your head side to side. “I still have two bags left but I’m in the mood for chocolate now.”

“Of course, when do you ever stick to the same candy for longer than a day?” He rhetorically asked and you rolled your eyes. You couldn’t tell if it was annoying or comical how well all the employees here seemed to know you.

You grew close to Taehyung after catching him stuff his face with cherry licorice during his break. It was rare for you to find someone that shared your love for licorice like he did. So occasionally when you would come to stock up, if Taehyung was on break he would sit and share candy with at the nearby cafe.

“Are you sure you’re not here for something else as well?” Taehyung asked with a teasing tone to his voice. “Or should I say, someone.” You shoved his nearing figure and frowned at him. Your palms suddenly felt clammy because you knew you were caught.

Sure you were a regular customer before your run in with Jimin but after, you appeared much more often, nearly every day. Yoongi and Taehyung both took notice—Taehyung seeming more interested in the situation than Yoongi. Tae had caught your not so subtle glances towards the employees only area much too often and also seen the way you hid in the store when Jimin would check in at the counter.

You were too attracted to Jimin, much too attracted. After the incident, you couldn’t get his lips out of your head and in the most vulgar, embarrassing way.  Your dirty thoughts continued to be fueled each time you caught Jimin in the store, a damn lollipop swirling around in his mouth. Each time it was a different flavor and you noted he would let it sit in his right cheek before pulling it out with a lewd slurping noise. Each time that occurred his eyes would meet yours and the smirk that followed after never failed to make your lower body ache.

“Shut it, Tae” You snarled, snatching a handful of Kit Kat bars from the shelf. Taehyung simply chuckled before continuing to stock the shelf across from you.

“Don’t worry sweetie, Jimin looks forwards to your visits too. He usually never comes out of that luxurious office in the back.” You rolled your eyes and shook your head, not believing a word. Every since Taehyung caught you staring at Jimin’s ass as he leaned over the counter to look at something Yoongi seemed to be showing him, he was persistent with playing matchmaker. He’d call Jimin out to the front to handle a ‘situation’  as soon as you walked through the door—which usually resulted in you bolting right back out.  “You think I’m lying? He has cameras back there and knows when you arrive.”

“I wish for once you’d let me do my shopping in peace.” Taehyung laughed again and you turned on your heel, approaching the front counter with less candy than usual.

“Wow, only four Kit Kat bars and one bag of Twizzlers? Finally realizing sweets cause nothing but health problems and cavities huh?”

“No. I just have leftover candy from last time. Now just ring me up I have somewhere to be.” Yoongi chuckled, a gummy smile on his lips and he scanned your items.

“Really? Not stuffing your face over Disney movies again tonight?”

“Yoongi! Shut up I told you that when I was drunk you were supposed to forget that.” Your face was hot, snatching the bag from him after he stuffed all your items in. “I have a date.”

“With who?” He scoffed, drumming his fingers against the desk.

“A classmate if you must know. Hopefully, I’ll get laid tonight.”

You weren’t necessarily lying. A boy in your biology class had asked if you wanted to meet up at a cafe to study for an upcoming test. You agreed and planned to meet around five at a local bakery. You were sure he only saw it as time to review difficult notes and you saw it the same way but Yoongi didn’t have to know that.

“Doubt it.” You reached over and gave him a hard flick on the forehead, laughing as he winced and rubbed the spot.

“Whatever. See you, jerk.” You turned to leave and froze when you saw Jimin crouched down near the display of gummy bears. He seemed to be counting the bags but his figure seemed tense, lips forming a small pout. As you turned to slip out the front door he stood and made eye contact with you, your heart stopped for a moment.

“Ah, our loyal customer is back.” He grinned, stepping closer to you. You blinked, glancing over your shoulder to ensure you were the one he was speaking to. When you turned back he was still smiling at you, his eyes gleaming.

“Uh, yeah, hi” You muttered out, hearing Yoongi snicker behind you. You resisted the urge to subtly slide him the finger and instead smiled sweetly at Jimin. This was one of the few times he directly spoke to you. You realized you would rush out of the store as soon as your eyes would meet—a difficult way to start a conversation. “I only stopped by for a few candy bars, have a nice day—”

“Wait,” Jimin called out before you could dash out of the store. He inched closer to you, seeming as though he was going to reach for your wrist before you stopped and turned to him. “Why don’t you try this new chocolate we got in stock. It’s from Venezuela I’m sure you would love it.” You ignored the way your palms seemed to sweat at the implication of him thinking of you and bit your lip, glancing at the digital clock on the counter.

“I don’t know I have somewhere to be—”

“It’ll take a second, I promise.” He was now standing directly in front of you, his plump lips still upturned into that dashing smile. He smelled wonderful, not the candy sweet you were expecting but more of a vanilla flavor.

“I guess.” He immediately wrapped an arm around your wrist and began to tug you to the backroom.

“Great, it’s in the back we haven’t put it out on the shelves yet.” You ignored the chuckles coming from Yoongi and the gasp that left Taehyung’s lips the moment the two of you flew past him.

Jimin dragged you into what seemed like his office. It was nicely decorated and bigger than what you expected. The room seemed to suit him. The desks and chairs around the room were white with nice, intricate paintings on the wall. You could see a few portraits on the wall and other pictures with men you identified as Yoongi and Tae.

“Here,” Jimin said, handing you a small blue package. You read the name before ripping it open, seeing it was divided into tiny little squares. You broke off a section, giving Jimin two squares and yourself three. “Tell me what you think,” Jimin said, watching you bite into the square and savor the flavor. It was sweet, extremely sweet—exactly how you liked your chocolate. You groaned as a trail of caramel stretched from your mouth to the chocolate between your fingers.

“It’s good, oh god.” You didn’t seem to realize the inappropriate moaning leaving your mouth until your eyes locked with Jimin’s, an unreadable expression on his face. “Sorry,” you quickly apologized, swallowing the now melted chocolate as fast as you could.

“No. It’s okay, I’m glad you liked it.” He reassured you, his voice seeming lower than before. It was then you realized he was closer to you than before, one of his hands resting on his desk as he leaned into you. His free hand came up to your face, his thumb swiping along your bottom lip to catch the caramel you failed to gulp down. You felt lightheaded as he brought his thumb to his mouth and darted his tongue out to clean himself of the sticky filling. “You have a real sweet tooth, don’t you?” You felt your hands trembling, threatening to drop the chocolate bar. You were sure your hot clammy hands were causing the bar to melt anyways.

“I guess,” You squeaked out, feeling his breath fan your face.

“Hmm, I do as well.” He reached forward, moving a strand of stray hair out of your face. “And I have a real craving for something real sweet right now.” Your eyes squeezed shut and you were sure once you opened them this intense, realistic wet dream of yours would be over. You counted to five and opened them up to see Jimin still staring you down, a smirk on his lips.

“I, uh—”

“Jimin! Sorry, I’m late I—” A tall, well-built man burst through the door, an apologetic look on his face as he mumbled out a rapid apology. His face quickly fell to confusion and he realized he interrupted something—what that something was, you weren’t quite sure of yourself—stopping his apology mid-sentence. His eyes darted between the two of you, his mind trying to piece together the pieces.

“Dammit Jungkook, you’re fine just get out.” Jimin snapped, turning away from you to glare at the taller boy.

“Actually,” you whimpered out. “I have to go. Thank you for the chocolate Jimin, I’ll see you later!” You exclaimed, bolting out the door. You ignored the grunt frustration he let out and the string of curse words he spewed at the other boy.

You sat on your bed, staring at your now finished pack of Twizzlers. It had been two weeks since your encounter with Jimin and you hadn’t been back to the shop since. You had a run-in with Yoongi at the local supermarket and he demanded to know why you stopped visiting but you simply stated that you were cutting sugar out of your life. A lie so big it even stunned you. You instead tried to find another place to buy your candy but you realized it wasn’t the same. No corner pharmacy had as big of a variety and the prices were high. Plus, you were craving that chocolate sample Jimin seduced you with.

You fell back with a sigh and brought your pillow to your face, the urge to scream taking over. You had stood up your classmate and instead spent the night alone in your bed—mostly fantasizing about Jimin’s lips once again, but with a much more vivid image—and had rescheduled to hang out tonight. You felt as though someone was out to get you when he suggested the sushi bar you adored that conveniently happened to be right across from the shop you were desperately avoiding. You sucked it up and agreed, realizing how much you needed to find something to get your mind off of Jimin.

Every time you blinked, your mind seemed to recall the moment instantly, a warm feeling settling in the pit of your stomach. You felt your mouth drying at the thought of what might of went down if the carefree employee you saw occasionally hadn’t entered.

Before your mind could wander to that dirty place again, your phone alarm went off indicating you had two hours before it was time to meet up with your classmate. You slowly rose from bed, stretching and yawning as you made your way to your bathroom to freshen yourself up.

It took the full two hours for you to decide on a nice outfit, apply makeup for the night out, and appear at the bar where you found Hoseok waiting for you in the back corner.

“Y/N! You look beautiful,” Hoseok complimented with a wide smile, standing you greet you with a hug.

“Thanks, Hobi, you look nice too.” You internally swooned over his vanilla scent you picked up the moment you approached the table. You took a seat in the chair he pulled out for you and scanned over the notebooks and textbook on the table. Hoseok pushed a plate filled with crab wontons closer to you.

“I hope you don’t mind I already got us an appetizer.”

“Of course not! I was starving.” You shook your head, reaching for one and popping it into your mouth. Hoseok grinned and did the same before opening to the pages your professor assigned over the weekend.

You both continued to work for hours, engaging in interesting conversation in between reading. Hoseok was a nice guy. He helped you out after your first absence in class, bringing printed out copies of his notes to help you catch up. You were eternally grateful and thanked him for weeks after. You were sure his intentions for tonight were pure and platonic but once his hand rested on yours, you felt clammy. When your leg started to bounce unconsciously and you stayed on the page much longer than it actually took to read it, he reached over and rested his hand on your knee, staring into your eyes with concern.

“You okay? Do you want to stop for the night?” He asked, soothingly rubbing his hand in circles on your kneecap.

“Uh,” You paused, looking down at his hand on your knee. If his signs were implying what you thought they were then you realized you needed to make a decision. Get laid by Hobi or mope over the untouchable Jimin. “I’m fine I think I’m just getting a little tipsy. Could we maybe...” You trailed off and Hoseok nodded seeming to get the message. He squeezed your knee before turning back to his work, finding and stopping point and packing up. You had only had a few beers and the buzz had disappeared about an hour ago. The only thing making you dizzy was his proximity. Just as he stood to bring the check and cash to the counter, something stopped him.

“Hoseok?” A voice called out from behind you. Hoseok eyes snapped up from the check in his hands, widening in recognition before a grin rose on his lips. You could feel goosebumps rising on your skin at the familiar voice. They had only said one word but after fantasizing over the same tone for so long you were sure you knew who it was.

“Jimin?” Hoseok rose from his seat seeming to go and hug the stranger while you shrunk down into yours.

Why God, why?

“It’s been so long I haven’t seen you since you dropped my dance class,” Hoseok spoke from behind you, his voice filled with excitement.

“Yeah, I had to focus more on my classes and helping out with my dad's shop. I miss it though.”  You prayed the exchange wouldn’t last much longer and Jimin would depart without seeing you at all. Unfortunately, your prayers seemed to be unheard. “Y/N?” You felt yourself shrinking at the fact Jimin had been able to recognize you from simply your back view.

“Jimin, hi” You shyly spoke, turning in your seat to face him. You clenched your fists, feeling frustrated with the world. He looked amazing. Dressed in all black—a black band shirt you’d never heard of, ripped black jeans, and a pair of black pumas. “Crazy running into you here,” You trailed off, picking at your fingers.

“I come here sometimes for a late lunch. The shops right across the street. You must’ve forgotten you haven’t been in a month.”

You grew nervous at him calling you out, also feeling some way about the fact he noticed you stopped showing up. You felt the urge to correct him that you had only been absent from the shop for no longer than two weeks but kept it to yourself. “I’ve just been busy.” You lied, chewing on the inside of your cheek.

“Hm,” Jimin hummed, eyes darting between the two of you. “Well, I don’t want to interrupt,excuse me.”

“Actually we were just leaving, I didn’t know you knew Y/N she loves this place. We could all eat here sometime.” Hoseok suggested with a sweet, innocent smile. You couldn’t help but smile back at his suggestion. He truly was the sweetest guy. “I’m gonna bring this to counter, back in one second.” He squeezed your shoulder before walking off towards the bar.

You stood and gathered your small backpack, ignoring Jimin’s presence behind you.

“Come to the shop.” He mumbled as you gathered your papers into your folder. You froze, thinking for sure you were hearing things.

“What?” You asked, turning to face him.

He stepped closer, leaving a small gap between you. “After you and Hoseok leave, come to my shop.”

Your throat closed up, looking over JImin’s shoulder to ensure Hoseok wasn’t approaching. “Wh- the shop isn’t even open it’s past twelve.”

“I know.” His smirk and deep tone filled with heavy implications made you weak. The heavy stare he was giving you had your mind fumbling for a response. He seemed to not want one and turned around, leaving the store with a wave goodbye to Hoseok.

“Ah, that’s so crazy we used to instruct dance classes together in high school.” Hoseok smiled in fondness as he approached you. You nodded, —disinterested in hearing about his old friendship with the man you constantly found yourself dreaming about— following him outside of the store.

What were you going to do? Go home with Hoseok or meet Jimin for God knows what. One side of you reasoned for you to give Hoseok a chance. He was sweet, handsome, and seemed interested in you. When it came to Jimin you still weren’t sure what he wanted.

Another side of you begged for you to choose JImin. The man you had been lusting over every since that fateful day in the candy shop.

A small voice apart from the other two mumbled for you to ditch both and simply take the time to compose your thoughts. Maybe the small voice had a point.

“Hobi, I can walk home it’s right there. Plus, I have to stop at the pharmacy on the way so please go and finish studying.”

“I don’t want you to be alone this late at night, Y/N.” He frowned, looking at your with concern.

“I’ll be fine Hoseok I’ve lived here for years and go out late all the time. I know this place like the back of my hand.” You said with ease, trying your hardest to reassure him.

“I guess—”

You smiled, cutting him off before he could change his mind, “Well thanks for everything tonight Hobi. I had fun.” You reached over, wrapping your arms around his neck. He reciprocated the gesture and patted your back, agreeing. “See you later.” He nodded, giving your shoulder a squeeze before turning. You waved, watching as his figure faded into the night.

You signed and crossed the street, mind wandering as you pulled out your headphones to entertain you on your walk home. It wasn’t until a street light flickered, bringing your eyes up that you realized you were in front of the candy shop. The ‘open’ sign was shut down and the lights were all off indicating it was closed and deserted. There was no way Jimin was still in there and you were sure the shop doors were closed.

It wouldn’t hurt to check, would it?

You shrugged and walked to the entrance, pushing the doors open and gasping when they opened with ease, the ding you missed so much filling your ears. Before you could dart back out, shuffling came from the back, the door swinging open.

“Y/N?” Jimin called out, the lights of the shop flickering on as he stepped out from the backroom. You internally cursed out anyone listening when you saw a lollipop stick peeking out of his lips.

“Jimin.” You felt your heart racing. You watched him bring the lollipop he’d been toying with out of his mouth with a vulgar ‘pop’. You couldn’t lie to yourself anymore. Claiming you were curious to know whether or not the door was open was nonsense you couldn’t even get yourself to believe. You realized then the real reason you walked through those doors. You wanted Jimin. Badly.

“I’m surprised.” He spoke with ease, stepping closer to you with the charismatic smile that always seemed to pull you in. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’d been avoiding me.”

Tonight was no different. You stepped closer, tilting your head to the side. “I was trying to cut back on my sugar intake.”

“Hm, sure,” He muttered, coming to a halt in front of you. “Which is why Tae told me he caught you buying out the candy aisle at the drugstore down the street.” Jimin’s tone was teasing but you could tell he was slightly put off by your disappearance.

“I—”

“Look, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable in my office that day.” He apologized, plump lips forming a pout. “You’re just so,” He paused, raising his hand to run it along your cheek. “You always seem so cold to me. You speak to Yoongi and Tae all the time but run when I look at you.” You felt your face growing hot as his smooth fingertips traced your jawline. “You’re so beautiful I wanted to show you that I was interested.”

“I-interested? In me?” You choked out in disbelief.

“Extremely, sweetheart. Only in you.” Jimin’s hand left your jaw, finding its way to your waist.

“Jimin, it’s not that I didn’t like you,” You whispered, pausing as you think of the correct wording. “You just make me so nervous.”

“Nervous? And why is that?” He asked with a devious grin. You left his question unanswered as he backed you up against the front counter. “Tae told me you had a thing for me but I was never sure. I was sure you avoided eye contact because you hated me. Then after you stopped showing up I was sure I blew it.” His voice was low, head tilted down to look you in your eyes. “But here you are sweetness, it’s a dream come true.” His lips connected with your neck, leaving sweet open mouth kisses down to your collarbone.

“Jimin,” You moaned out breathlessly, your fingers instantly tangling in his hair. His lips moved back up your neck, sucking and biting along the way before meeting your lips. The kiss was rough and rushed but you didn’t mind. It was unreal to you that this was real life and not another dream of yours.

His lips were softer than they looked and much more skillful than you could’ve ever imagined. “God, that day you walked out with that lollipop between your lips. I was hard for hours. I had to lock myself in my office and try not to think about you.” Jimin muttered, pulling your shirt over your head. You moaned, too caught up in his hands massaging your covered breasts to share with him the amount of times you touched yourself to the image of him as well. “You’re so beautiful. God, is this all for me?” He asked after removing your bra, his thumb rubbing your nipple gently.

Your back arched, moaning out in pleasure. “Yes.” Jimin grinned at your response, bringing his lollipop to your lips.

“Take care of this for me, sweetheart.” He whispered, eyes darkening as you opened your mouth to happily accept the cherry red sweet. Jimin patted your head as you swished the sucker around in your mouth, keeping eye contact when you would grab a hold of the stick and suck as hard as you possibly could. “Such a good girl,” He groaned leaning down to latch his mouth onto your right nipple, sucking and biting along the tender skin. You moaned, gripping his silky hair in your hands and tugging. Jimin continued to suck and bite until your chest was littered with small spots of discolouration. “I”m gonna have to erase this footage later” Jimin muttered to himself as he laid you down on top of the counter, spreading your legs wide. “Or maybe I’ll save it for when you decide to take another ‘sugar break’” He remarked, glaring at you as he pulled down your denim skirt and lacey black panties. You opened your mouth to spit out a reply but his nose brushing along your clit stopped you. “You smell amazing sweetheart.” He circled his index finger around your entrance, making sure not to push it in as he whispered sweet words near your clit. His hot breath made your legs tremble, crying out for him to take you. “Patience baby,” His tongue darted out, sweeping along your slit slowly. “You’re sweeter than any candy in this damn store.”

“Jimin, please.” You groan, pulling the forgotten lollipop out of your mouth. Jimin’s head snapped up at the sound of the pop and he frowned, standing and snatching the sucker out of your hand.

“Keep sucking on this until I tell you to stop.” He demands, guiding it back in your mouth. You comply, shifting it to your right cheek. “It’s practice for what’s coming next.” You shudder in anticipation as he moves back down between your legs, wasting no time pumping his index finger into you while his tongue swiped up your folds.

“Oh Jimin, you’re doing so well that feels so good.” You moaned out, fingers running through his hair. Jimin seemed to enjoy the praise, adding another finger into the mix.

He continued working at a steady, quick pace as you praised him with sweet words—until your felt your legs shaking, coming undone with ease. Jimin rose from your legs, a proud smirk gracing his features after hearing you scream his name as you came undone. “Now,”He reached forward, pulling the sucker from your mouth and popping it back into his. “Let’s trade places.” He helped you off of the counter with shaky feet, leaning against it as you dropped down to your knees. “I’ve thought about your pretty little lips around my cock for the longest, kitten.” You fumbled with his jeans, legs trembling at the pet name. You pulled his gray boxers down along with his jeans, your breath hitching at the sight. Jimin seemed to notice your wide eyes and grinned, gripping your hair in his hands. “Go ahead sweetheart, I’ll go easy on you.”

Your eyes nearly rolled to the back of your head at his cockiness, feeling the sudden urge to tease him. You leaned forward, tentatively licking the tip that was dripping precum.

“Oh fuck, don’t tease me,” Jimin grunted out as you continued to slowly lick along his slit.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” You mumbled, bringing your hands up to wrap around the base, tentatively stroking along his hard on. Jimin hissed his response, tugging you forward with the strong grip he had on your hair.

“Suck.” He commanded, his dark lust filled eyes indicating he wouldn’t wait much longer. So you leaned forward and took him into your mouth, bobbing your head as quickly as you could while trying to take as much of him as you could. Jimin seemed pleased, moaning and groaning whenever the tip of his cock would tickle the back of your throat. You kept a quick pace, feeling Jimin’s grip tightening in your hair as he twitched in your mouth. Before you could finish him off, he pulled you off of him while spewing profanities. “You are even better than what I imagined baby but I don’t want to finish in your mouth.”

Jimin pulled you up from your knees, pushing you against the counter once more, your back turned towards him. His hands gripped your ass as he brought his finger down to tease your entrance. “So wet, you’re gonna be dripping down your thighs once I’m done with you, sweetness.” He pushed himself into you, groans and moans leaving both of your lips as he filled you up.

Your core ached as he littered kisses along your back, shuddering once h was fully inside of you. He paused sighing against your back. “You have to promise me something or I’m not moving.” You groaned, nodding your head as a sign for him to continue. “Promise me you’ll come back to the shop after this.” Your heart raced in your chest as your mind fogged, you hadn’t thought about anything that would occur after this was over. “Promise me.” Jimin deadpanned, his finger reaching down to circle along your clit.

A moan tore out of you, squeezing your eyes shut. “I promise!” You yelled breathlessly.

“I’m serious, Y/N, don’t run away from me.”

“I won’t Jimin, I promise.” You cried out.

You were nearly in sobs before he began moving, picking up a fast pace that had your knees buckling as your body felt weak and frail. “Fuck, Jimin please don’t stop.” You begged.

“You feel so good around me. You’re so wet I don’t think I’ll last much longer.” You grunted, silently agreeing with him.

Your endless dreams were now a reality and the feeling was overwhelming. Your mind was a haze and your whole body felt as though it had turned to jelly. Jimin seemed to notice and wrapped his arms around your fatigue figure. “I’m so close baby. I can feel you are too just hold on,” Jimin whispered into your ear, his thrusts becoming sloppier and faster, letting you know he was just as close as you were.

“Ah, fuck Y/N.” Jimin called out, finishing himself off inside of you. You felt your body tremble in his arms as you felt yourself come undone around him.

The room was filled with nothing but your heavy panting, the aftermath of your earlier decision hitting your hard as Jimin pulled himself out of you. You were covered in sweat and felt embarrassed as you turned to gather your clothes from the floor, avoiding all eye contact. Jimin seemed too preoccupied with pulling on his own clothes to notice your sudden change in demeanor.

“That was nice—”

“Are you kidding? Nice? That was unreal” Jimin spoke, stepping closer you with a sheepish smile. You stopped yourself from retreating and running out of the store, telling yourself that Jimin wanted you. It was no longer pretty words from Tae to help you feel good or imaginary words you dreamt of at night, this was the real thing.

Your cheeks burned when his small hands cupped your face, guiding your lips up to meet his. “I really don’t want you to leave right now.”

Your head tilted to the side, confusion clear. “Why?”

“I’m afraid I won’t see you again.” You frowned at his bluntness, biting down on your bottom lip.

“Are you doubting my commitment when it comes to promises?” You teased, Jimin’s face lighting up at your playful demeanor. “I’ll have you know I haven’t broken any yet.”

“And you don’t plan on it, do you?” He asked, resting his forehead against yours.

“Nope.”

Jimin smiled, pleased with your answer. He kissed your lips, a quick sweet peck before stating that he would walk you home.

The walk that usually seemed short and quick seemed to have an extra block added to it with the time it took for you to land on your doorstep. The walk was filled with conversation about interests and shared pet peeves instead of discussing what would happen after tonight.

“So, I’ll see you tomorrow?” Jimin asked, a shy smile on his lips.

“Do you have any more of those Venezuelan chocolates?” You teasingly asked.

“Just got a shipment this morning along with a new flavor. I can give you a sample if you’d like. The opinion of one of our most valued customers means a lot.” The double meaning behind Jimin’s words didn’t go unnoticed to you, laughing at his coy smirk.

“I’m sure it does. I’ll be there.”

“Good.” Jimin turned on his heel as you stepped into your apartment, watching his figure retreat down your hallway. You stepped back out, calling out to him,  a slight panic in your voice. “Don’t forget to delete that footage Jimin!” Your palms were sweating at the thought of anyone catching your lewd act on film.

“Don’t worry, I will.” He called back, turning back to face you with a devious grin. “As soon as I make a handful of copies for myself first. Goodnight, sweetheart.”

[someonesaidtrytoblog-blog]

Someone said try to blog.

Okay, So every once in a while I think about making an attempt at explaining a little bit of how my mind works. Obviously this could be a book. And I will see how much I can type, or how I feel about doing so. But lets just start somewhere around my lack of social skills, but lack there of. So, an overview. Basically two main killers on my lack of social skills. The first, I dont care for small talk or fake people. I will not judge you until you do something that violates even the smallest of my morals. So I would say possibly critical there. Blame the Virgo sun sign, and the Virgo in mercury, Virgos ruling planet, the planet of thought. Back to the topic. Thats the first reason. The second, I do not trust anyone with my complete feelings. I will be as honest as the most honest, combined with my natural tone of voice, unfortunatly results in the reaction of a snowflake commonly. Now, lets actually start with the second one since its on the mind. I have been in thought for a long while but have determined that the main root of me not trusting people with my feelings in life is that I have always felt like my feelings never really mattered. Now repetetivly, I was temporarily blinded and have been fooled that my feelings did matter but then shortly after that, I am reminded at how they really dont matter. In my opinion, to have someone invalidate your feelings, is something that can not be recovered from. The moment someone makes me feel like my opinion does not hold matter equal to their own my first thought is that if this person, thinks something so simple as opinion, is so important it must be displayed or even felt in any manner , that theirs is superior is not someone I shall share personal feelings with. This has happened over and over again. The wall of china has been built and breached. But the breached areas are being repaired. On a side note, if this just stays here forever. I do appreciate and apologize to the people who have reached out and I have not held up to the my end of the bargain. I have tried not to complain because some people have reached out. But for some reason the bond we have is not necessarily a deeper connection like the only one I currently pursue. That has nothing to do with how I feel about the friendship we have. We just vibe a different way. Back to the first one. Small talk and fake people. Let me explain a frustration with relations. I wont approach a woman, never know when you may catch them at the wrong time. I will say good morning on the way home from work , when I stop at the gas station, on my morning routine. To any person eye contact is made. But thats about it. If I get a second opportunity and can think of a line on just one main thing. I have to be able to relate something from tone or emotion of a room to an object or happening, to something intelligent or factual that I posses in my mind. Which I fill with the most random of facts. But anyway. Even when I get the opportunity, to just be loved. Which is all I wish for really. I will need to be attracted to you. As well as be able to relate in common morals. I will also need to be able to live up to your sexual desires. If you can not do that, I believe that in this world , you need to let that woman go. In a world with so many people if she is not being sexually satisfied to be honest, if shes not being honest with herself eventually she will be and if she can not fight her natural desires then it wont end well. What I mean bro is if your girl wants you to tie her up and spank her and pull her hair a little bit because the small amount of pain, and change in position, bring to her more pleasure. Get the fuck on , boy. Again anyway, I like to ramble a bit. Some people enjoy my opinions. And I dont really tell them to anyone. All this shall remain anonymous, But I will put a signature. Reason for it is, I already have enough haters and its easier to ignore them if they dont know who you are. Again though I do respect your opiniom on whatever it may be, doesnt mean my actions may seem so sometimes. I can agree. Again, even through the repeated grammar mistakes. Which I just dont care enough to sit and debate it if its not natural, resulting in run on sentences. Even my ramble should tell you a little about my brain. And maybe even the excitement to finally get some of these things out. So If I do post this I hope someone enjoys it. Remember this could have several chapters. So in question was the statement from the first paragraph, " But lets just start somewhere around my lack of social skills, but lack there of. " Note lack there of. And let me go on about this for a minute. So, the thing is when I do get the chance to carry conversation, I am very good at it. For anyone I want to vibe with anyway. I am passionate about certain things in life. From things I enjoy that keep my attention, all the way to the way children should be raised, these are important things to vibe on for me. Battles not wished to be fought down the road, or any other basic moral, Are actually conversations she wants from friends. Honestly straight on a side note, if you have a belief you value as a moral I will always respect that you hold that belief. I say this because you should have been cyritical about forming an opinion you find moral. If you have not then  as open you were to the belief you have, is as open you should be to others. But become critical and make sure you question everything with a logical amount of cause. A start to being open minded. Obviously they believe something for a reason. If you cant prove it , or prove it false, even if in found not logical. When lacking disrespect, there is no need to start any. Back to my original attempt at explanation, the lack of the lack of social skills. Once opportunity for more than a 30 second period pops up and I see any kindness in your eyes, our conversation will begin and end with knowledge. Honestly, women say they love my conversation. But they usually go, see second paragraph for feelings on that. The problem I seem to have, and this is my opinion; When a woman enjoys an intelligent conversation, then each time it occurs in the first few encounters the farther and farther in the friendzone you will finish. Even if you are being intimate with her. In this day and age its unfortunste the small amount of women who seem to exist that actually are attracted to a man who they think they are attracted to. Its like they all have just a piece of what they preach they want from a man. You can literally put in all you got, be as sweet and respectful, as well as satisfying to her, make a decent living, and she will say she loves you. But a rare woman these days doesnt give the good men a chance. Because they are the ones that dont want to risk talking to you, in fear they may only cause more burden on your day, because you seem in a rush, we rather just not bother you with our possibly annoying presense. We just wish everyone a decent day. But back to what I was saying, not enough women want a man who is strong, sensitive and as rough as they require. They would rather suffer mentally, and silently about certain things. Some which end up of matter. Which is unfortunate in most cases. Literally my mentality is this if you show continued interest in our conversation, and end in loving who I am and what I believe in. I will do everything in my power to make you happy. Im so down. Just the fact that you love and support me will make me fall for you. But at the first sign of you being un interested in me, by my own standards which are not out of reason, I am out emotionally. Im dipping, to many excuses, you shouldnt have any if you are pursuing that type of conversation. When intent is clear. In example. I send you a text three mornings in a row saying, "good morning" . And you dont respond. I throw one goodnight in those three good mornings somewhere. So four attempts total over atleast three days. And no Response. Do not text me three weeks later talking about how you had a good time and would like to go out again. This was days previous to our first date and we were talking steady all the way up until the date which actually did go well, but anyway. I know you just want some free food and a laugh. Oh and probably some drama free intelligent conversation, all while stuck in her phone anyway. But not for romantic pursuals, Dont forget,  As mentioned previously with what to me seems like the most attractive approach to a good conversation, an intelligent yet entertaining but real conversation about life in all aspects. Actually gets you further into the endzone being the friendzone. And if you done caught feelings, make sure you take proper to rid yourself of them, and when she asks for advice that you cant beleive she has the audacity to ask, either answer in patience or not at all. If you cant handle helping her not be with you, dont try to continue being her friend.Because of her friends she may ask for solutions to get over you, even if not directly. If you end up friendzoned and you move  on. Your best bet is at the first sign of jealousy commited. If you can handle being her friend who knows what may happen in time. She may grow to be attracted to your ability to carry intelligent and meaningful conversation. And the tables will turn. If she does not, then she is already your friend. And you are already okay with that. So go on. Again, caught rambling. I hope someone reads all this. Its long. I Have never read, or typed something so long, honest, and personal. All while completly fucking the grammar. Eventually you will find a woman who loves you even when you are an ass and you should love that woman anyway she needs, because if she didnt love you at some point she would be gone. And if you have even the smallest belief that she loves you, then do what you must to hang on to her. For love is prescious and should be more occuring in its natural state and not on a temporary pallet. Real love is understand that you will not quit on someone who has not quit on you. Percieve quit as you will. To each their own. So like I said I ramble alot here. My apologies. Hope someone enjoyed it.