#catch my ass playing But Not For Me by Alexander Lasarenko on repeat

[ifwebefriends]

The Dark Evil Fucked Up Side PTSD side of my brain: all I wanted for so long was to go to college and finish college, I’ve honestly had a great time at college and now it’s ending. When I was going through chemo during my gap year, college represented the warm sunrise at the end of a frigid seemingly endless night. I’m kinda excited to graduate and move on and I have some plans but they don’t feel very concrete. What if things get worse? And if my cancer comes back, will I be able to find or make a sunrise bright and warm enough to make enduring treatment again worth it? I try my best to believe that there’s a long bright future ahead but I can’t help but worry sometimes that there’s nothing really left for me after this.

The cool friend part of my brain: dude what about all the fanfic that you haven’t published yet

PTSD part: omg wait ur actually so right what about all the fanfic I haven’t published yet?