#catch me projecting onto the blorbo

[justanintrovertedartist]

Me: Ingo doesn’t smile but he is very nice with his words :)

also me: Ingo doesn’t smile because the frown is his resting face and also he works with The Public. Emmet is able to smile because thats his resting face and also he was given a pass to be mean for Ingo when his niceness will not make a commuter understand they are being a Karen

[emergency-plan]

Hey! I’ve been gone a while. I started college and have been a bit busy, but wanting reasons to procrastinate studying for finals is a great motivator to be creative and write.

Dp x dc au, very Tim Drake-centric, mostly me projecting my stress onto blorbos.

The bats had found blueprints for a strange machine that seemed to be powered by Lazarus water while investigating a secret government agency. They began constructing a prototype in the bat cave to test if it really could do what it said in the details. The technology is beyond what they could understand, so they were forced to built it as the instructions said, and as mostly expected, nothing happens when they tried to turn it on. They’re all busy with their duties, so they plan to disassemble it later.

One night, Tim is working on the bat computer, trying to solve a case before patrol, when he feel a familiar knot tighten in his chest. The stress of vigilantism, being a CEO, dealing with his family (especially Damian), and investigating has been building up and wants to be let out now. Not wanting to be seen or caught on camera, and not able to go back into the manor since he already had on some of his Red Robin gear, he found a place out of sight of the cameras and where he’d have a bit before anyone found him: the faulty portal.

He’s stepping in and his breath is catching in his throat. Tears pick at his eyes, so he reaches to peel off his domino mask. In the split second he can’t see, his foot catches on some loose wires and he trips, accidentally hitting an internal button when flailing for balance. He knows he’s in trouble as the portal starts to rumble and glow. His foots so tangled he can’t get out before the he disappears behind the newly torn, unstable vortex.

A few moments later, a stuttering, clawed hand reaches out and grasps the edge of the portal.

Tim Drake pulls himself from the the device, tearing wires out to get his foot out of the portal, making it destabilize and warp shut behind him, and he is not the same.

His hair is now glowing white, sparking with electricity and instability; his Red Robin uniform is inverted, shifted, and warped to be virtually unrecognizable from the original. Lazarus water leaked from his mouth as he silently sobbed in agony and a green miasma seeped through his glowing green mask instead of tears.

His chest hurt like there were shards of something broken stuck behind his ribs, but it didn’t seem to hurt nearly as much as the fact that his heart wasn’t beating. He was gasping for breath and expelling green-tinged clouds and toxic liquid, but there was no relief tied to it, nor need as if he was lacking oxygen.

He knew he was dead, he just didn’t know how he was still there.

He immediately froze when he heard the elevator door to the cave open and familiar boots step out.

How was he going to explain this to Bruce? He knew Bruce cared for him, and the entire reason Tim became a Robin was because one of the Robins died and Batman was going to get himself killed out of anger and grief.

Reflexively, he pushed his overwhelming worry and stress down, and it had an odd effect. Glowing lines sputtered across his body, taking all the ghostly weirdness and leaving behind a very confused but ultimately relieved Tim. He was just happy he could feel a heartbeat and could breathe for a moment.

Pushing the event to the farthest part of his mind, he lied to Bruce, claiming he was checking the machine and escaped just before it turned on and destabilized again, did his patrol, and finished some late night paperwork before it all came uncontrollably flooding back and he found himself a distressed ghost once again.

—————

Basically the premise of this au is Tim that gains an unfortunate addition to a stress disorder he likely already had, making him turn into a ghost whenever he loses his composure with no control of it other than his emotions. He is highly unstable since he is a ghost formed in a moment of high stress, he was created with impure ectoplasm, and from an imperfect machine. Seriously, they don’t know how to purify Lazarus pit water, so they did the equivalent of running it through a brita filter before using it. Danny at least got the pure stuff, not the yucky nasty sludge.

I have more ideas for this au, but I have a final at 8am tomorrow, so I need to get studying.

[cicaklah]

fic author q&a

thank you @the-lady-general for tagging me, I love to procrastinate by doing stuff like this.

1. Why do you write fanfic?

because my brain is a relentless what-if machine and it can't be stopped or tamed. If I wasn't writing it down I'd be losing time just thinking about it, trust me, its far better this way.

and because I love writing, love the fic community, and just love creativity. I've been reading fic literally every single day since I was 11 or 12 and I'm now 38. I'm passionate about the fic writing world and my experience in the 'conventional' writing space has been nothing but anxiety, inferiority and bitterness.

2. Which of your posted stories do you think about the most, even though the story is “finished”?

I don't tend to feel like that about my stories, because I am always up to write sequels or prequels to things, or add stuff onto various universes. I still think often about weibermacht, which is the name of the sex club in my Hitman stories, and one day I will write a proper weibermacht story, but the reason I still think about stories is because they aren't properly finished. I also think a lot about the watch me series because I feel guilty that I never finished it. I have at least another 3 stories in various stages of writing.

I'm planning on doing a WIP amnesty next year (once One Man is finished), and I'm hoping that it will get me to finish some of these things I want to return to, but haven't since.

3. If you could give yourself fic advice from when you first started writing fic, what would that advice be?

Use the momentum of being really into something to make more art. Write as much fic as you can, and don't let guilt catch up with you. It doesn't matter if it sucks; you have to love it, and if you love it in the moment, you are going in the right direction.

4. What’s your relationship to fic stats?

As a professional sort-of statistician I adore them, I wish there were more of them, specifically available over time, and also the number of subscriptions to series would help me as someone who writes in that way. BUT: comparison is the thief of joy. My big fic-related breakdown was over constantly comparing myself to the people I thought were my peers. Stats don't tell you why you aren't doing better than someone, and I know from my profession that you can't just assume things from numbers.

5. Is there a pairing or scenario or friendship you miss writing? If so, why? If not, why not?

I miss Stormpilot (Finn/Poe) circa 2017. What a beautiful time. It will never come again, even if we got something to make the ship sail again, the world has changed.

6. What motivates you to write?

Much like the lady general, I am motivated by wanting to tell jokes, or by specific ideas that enter my brain and won't let go. I am motivated to keep going on one man because there are specific stories I need to share with the rest of the class, but I must tell the rest of the story in order to get there. The journey is the point, but so is the punchline.

7. Why do you write for the fandom(s) that you write for?

Star Trek, specifically SNW, is my current blorbo, so I write for myself and my id on that one. Hitman is for the thirsty thirteen and because its OTP. Oxventure is...complicated. I am so very burned out on that fandom. Super Secret RPF pairing is because of my co-conspirators <3. I've also written way, way too many things because Phoenix and I have talked about them and I've then be POSSESSED.

8. If you’re stuck writing a WIP, what do you do?

As long as I'm still interested in the project, I do my best to push through. I have the philosophy that a story doesn't really exist until it is published anyway. I do have an abandoned WIP folder, and within that is a folder called 'look I'm never writing these ones'. There are 12 stories in that folder. Meanwhile there are 134 I have yet to give up on, not including the 4 that are currently in progress (not including one man.)

Basically I need another WIP amnesty.

9. What do you wish people knew about comments?

They really are the fuel on the fire. I have finished stories because of comments. I have written entire worlds because of comments. I do my best to answer every single comment, and I try to also leave comments as much as I can. At the same time, I have to, for my own sanity, try not to put too much stock in them, because we have to be self-fuelling machines, we have to be self-raising lazaruses. You have to write for yourself, because if you base everything on other people's opinions, you will die nobody.

10. Maybe there’s a question you wish had been on here. What’s that question (and answer)?

I think the question I'd like to ask is what is your personal greatest fic achievement? Not your most popular story, what was the story that you still look at and go: I will never not be proud of that achievement. Mine is the fact I have published 750,000 words and 130 stories and I still feel like I'm only just getting started. That the perseverance over the last 14 years proves that I can do whatever I set my mind to, that I am valuable in a way that matters, and all the doubters of my youth can go fuck themselves forever.

I'm tagging @postalninja, @stickthisbig, @android-and-ale and @alienfuckeronmain and anyone else who wants to do it. lets navel gaze, lads.

[characteranalyst]

Thanks for the tag friend this seems like fun @fluidsoul31. I’m late sorry. But better late than never I guess.

Rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

I have a ridiculous amount of WIPS because my brain does this /very/ annoying thing where when I get an idea for a fic, I have maybe a 10 + hour window (on a good day) to drop what I’m doing put ass in chair and type it out from start to finish without any interruptions or else the idea will just go *poof* gone never to be seen or heard from again. And the only reason I even wrote and posted my last fic was that I blessedly got the idea on a Saturday morning.

So welcome to my graveyard of WIPS that are gathering dust in my Google docs because I got the idea like 5 minutes before I had to leave for work and the juice ran out by the time I got home and all that was left was maybe 7 or 8 paragraphs if I was lucky that I got to spit out before the inspiration flew away.

So let’s start with the Phayu/Rain WIPS -

1. NICE TO M(EAT) YOU a.k.a the Hannibal AU. Butcher! Phayu/Line cook! Rain

(I actually wrote a good chunk of this from Phayu’s POV before I realized it would have been better to start in Rain’s POV so it’s unfinished but technically planned out)

2. SIMON SAYS -

(Fem! Phayu Rain fic. I wrote this one for the sensory deprivation day for Kinktober and it’s like 95% done but I got in my head and thought it was shit so I didn’t post it.)

3. MONEY TO BLOW a.k.a the BL co stars AU but make it dead dove -

(HIGH KEY wish I had called into to work to write this one. I really loved this concept. But I only got to spit out about 6 paragraphs before work. )

4. CARN(IV)AL DESIRES a.k.a the Carnival meet cute fic.

(We are going to collectively ignore my cheesy title. I wrote basically the entirety of this meaning to post for Valentine’s Day but the dialogue was beating my ass so it’s unfinished.)

5. PHAYU.EXE - a.k.a the succubus/computer virus Phayu AU

(So another one I wish I had called in to write. It’s probably 3 paragraphs of actually story and 1000 + words of bare bones skeletal ideas)

6. UNTITLED PORN AU

(I had written this one for the piss day I think for Kinktober. I wrote a good amount of it before the characterization got a little fucky and I had no clue where I was going with it.)

7. SOME LIKE IT KNOT - a.k.a my first attempt at an a/b/o fic

(Another idea 5 minutes before work. But I actually wrote a good chunk of this and world builded a little before I realized I also had no clue where I was going with it. )

8. FUCK ME ONCE SHAME ON YOU - a.k.a Fem!Rain’s gay awakening

(Another Fem! Phayu Rain one. Sort a retelling of the code line meeting night. This is basically fully written but I don’t know I just didnt want to post it. It felt very ‘I’m projecting onto the blorbos and I do not want to be perceived so let’s not post this’. So yeah.)

I have more but I can’t be bothered rn to go rummaging around to look for any more.

So next up is a Ray/Sand Only Friends WIP

1. THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE a.k.a the Ray goes to AA meetings fic

I wrote this while the show was still airing so canon kinda made me give up on finishing it but I wrote a good bit.

And lastly my Killing Stalking WIP

1. MOTHER MAY I?

This is a canon divergence rewrite of chapters 8-9 of the manga. Didn’t finish it but a wrote a lot and it was fun to write something a little fucked up. The manga was /something/ and I was itching to rewrite some parts of those chapters:

Ok so I know I technically didn’t follow the rules because it said only the titles but I couldn’t help myself. Sue me. Send me and ask if any catch your eye.

And I have no clue who to tag so anyone that wants to participate can have at it.

[psychewritesbs]

Right... So as I continue watching Gundam Seed I find myself rolling my eyes so hard that I am able to see the back of my skull.

And yet here I am... because #blorbo.

The perils of having an obsessive personality I swear...

Anyways. I am using my critical thinking skills to explain why Athrun and Lacus are actually REALLY good friends and REALLY do care about each other under the cut.

That’s right... fantastic use of my critical thinking abilities... my thesis advisors would be proud.

Oh yeah, this is all from GS episode 19...

Anyways.

It’s just that I thought it was cute that Lacus is always eager to see Athrun.

Whether she’s telling him about looking forward to seeing him, or whether she’s commenting on how she doesn’t see him as much as she’d like, to Lacus, Athrun is someone who keeps his distance that she’d very much like to connect with.

And I thought it was fascinating how she projects that desire to see Athrun onto the Haros and is constantly saying the Haros are excited to see Athrun. Something Athrun always blows off because, as he says, “Haro is a robot and doesn’t have emotions.” 

But as they’re having their little tea party during the episode, I loved that briefest of moments when Lacus tells Athrun she’s “quite fond of Kira.”

So to me, I get the sense that Lacus sees Athrun as a friend with whom she feels comfortable enough to share something like this with him. There’s this sense of trust and honesty as Lacus expresses to Athrun that she’s caught feelings for Kira much like one catches the flu or covid19. It just happened!

But what was most interesting to me was Athrun’s reaction...

Athrun’s reaction speaks to how important this moment is for Lacus to be sharing about her fondness with Kira.

Imagine there’s this person who you are “supposed” to marry, whom you have probably known for quite some time. Now imagine that you don’t necessarily have romantic feelings for this person, they simply are “the person you are supposed to marry” according to what someone else decided..

There! It’s canon that they have an arranged marriage.

Now imagine that as you have gotten to know this person, you have come to value them as a person because, again, one day you will marry them and you will have to see their face all the fucking time and smell their farts and all of the romantic aspects of marriage.

But now this person is confessing to you that there’s this other person who’s genuinely caught their attention.

So to me, Athrun’s reaction is so... real?

Seriously. The Gundam Seed writers are either really bad writers, or they’re really good at melodrama. I can’t quite make up my mind about it. 

The thing is that some moments are straight up cringe, and then there’s moments like this one where Athrun and Lacus share a brief exchange about what it’s like to be “fond of someone” when you are in an arranged marriage.

Theirs is an arranged marriage meant to symbolize a political alliance--a symbol of an ideal. Both are children of important political figures, Athrun is an elite soldier within Zaft, and Lacus herself is a member of a peace committee or something like that.

They look great on paper.

In the end, these two kids are being initiated into the world of young adulthood as they move through their teen years. They are beginning to experience what it’s like to experience different kinds of interpersonal relationships and their own place within them.

So in following in the footsteps that have been laid out for them, I reckon Athrun and Lacus are really just making the best of this arrangement that has been trusted upon them.

But I have to admit that if anyone is invested in making sure this arrangement works, that’s Lacus...

Athrun’s just kind of like “oh sorry, I can’t come see you because I’m busy doing nothing,” whereas Lacus wears her heart on her sleeve.

Even if it’s an arrangement, Lacus’ attitude tells me she wants to make it work. And there’s something so feminine about it--she makes bids for connection that are very much all about spending quality time together even if she thinks he’s boring he’s really quiet.

But for Athrun, there’s no impetus drawing him towards Lacus.

There is no chemistry that would encourage him to put aside logic and his duty in favor of what his heart might want--if anything because he does not know yet that his heart could want something different than what his head tells him he should want.

At least that is how I see him.

Gundam is about people in times of war

Ok now that I’ve made fun of myself for breaking down this interaction to try to explain how I see it, I have to admit that, while Gundam Seed may be a bit extra on the melodrama, it’s still a story about people in times of war.

As such, I have to admit that some of these interactions are very real and really well-written despite the Gundanium Alloy plot armor and cringe. 

Because of this, Gundam Seed is getting upgraded from “bad Mexican novela” to “Downton Abbey in space”.

[eirian]

ive been Thinking. and ive come to a conclusion

for a while ive had this feeling of like..since i am afab (nonbinary) and identify as a lesbian, i have some sort of weird obligation to create content that has more women and lesbians in it. like its my duty to do that. or something. because there ARENT a lot of well-written women in fiction compared to men, and i do wish there was, and i can be the change i want to see in the world!!

but also ive always been way more interested in fictional men than women, probably BECAUSE there arent a lot of interesting ones out there that catch my eye. plus, i recently found out im pretty attracted to masculinity--not men per se, just masculinity--but that generally points me in the direction of fictional men. also, my gender stuff kind of makes me project onto fictional men as well. ive always enjoyed drawing male characters more, i always chose to play as male video game characters, i always get attached to male blorbos...idk. i have a thing for Fictional Men even if i wouldnt date a guy irl and am in a happy lesbian marriage

what im saying is im realizing i dont think i can just force myself to create stuff im just not that interested in making even if it would be really cool to have. so im not going to <3 like idk why but for some reason i just dont enjoy creating women as much as i do men even if i design them very masculinely. i dont get it

and sure maybe its also internalized misogyny! thats a real thing i probably still struggle with. it took me forever to realize ppl can look like anything and dont have to conform to cisnormative standards of appearance (women can have beards, men can have boobs, etc.) so i dont doubt i still have stuff to unlearn irt my fictional interests. but as of right now this is where im at

idk. i just love creating dude characters. i dont know why and idk if i'll ever know why. all i know is that it makes me happy so im gonna keep doing it. if a girl pops up in my brain then hallelujah but if one doesnt then thats ok too

[apoptoses]

how did you stop comparing your writing to other people's? if you can please share some of what helped for you ❤️

So. First things first. Step away from the fic.

Seriously. We have to develop the skill of being objective about writing before we can stop comparing.

Fic typically has a certain kind of writing style so you've gotta diversify your portfolio of inspo. Take a week long AO3 cleanse. Pick up a few books at the library, watch that movie you've been meaning to watch. Read some books about writing technique and only once you mentally feel refreshed can you come back with a clear mind.

And if you stop reading about your blorbo and start reading about some character in book you don't care a ton about you can disconnect. We project onto our faves, it's just a fact. So when you're reading a shitload of fic about your fave you're thinking 'yes, this is how i see them, no this isn't how i see them' and then you get into the spiral of 'but this is how i wish i could write about them' and you're on a one way train to Sadness.

But! Picking up, say, Call Me By Your Name- Elio and Oliver are fun, but they're not My Guys. So I can look at their experiences in the book more objectively and then actually look at the writing style itself. It's like taking two steps back from a painting and suddenly seeing the whole image at once. If you're too close (physically and emotionally) you're cut off from the big picture.

Then when you pick up a writing technique book, you can start seeing the stylistic choices used in Thing You Just Read But Are Not Too Close To. Get back into your literary analysis mindset. Get objective.

Now that you've done your cleanse, come back to a favorite fic. Print it out or download it to your phone. Treat it like an academic exercise. Highlight what you like about it. Figure out what skills that writer had to work on- was it description of places? Was it word choice?

Put those skills into a list of things YOU, the writer, want to work on. And then research how to get better at them! Remind yourself that you're learning and then you'll find yourself comparing in a objective way and not a self-esteem based way.

Now on the psychological side-

Comparing yourself comes from being insecure in some way (I know this, I have been there, I have suffered a lot from it). You gotta work on your self talk.

I've said this before, but work on changing the way you think about your work.

this work sucks -> this story needs edited

X writes blorbo better than me -> I need to reread the source material and write some meta about this aspect of blorbo

X's fic is so much better than mine, I'll never be that good -> X has spent a LOT of time working on their fic and if I work hard my fic will be good too

It sounds silly but god, it works! If I catch myself saying a negative thing then I stop myself, figure out how to reword it, and say that thought to myself in the new, not harsh way. Your brain works like a muscle, you've gotta train it until it remembers these things and you catch yourself before you spiral.

Also, if the person you're comparing yourself to is your friend- ask them about how they do the thing in their fic you like so much!

Remember that they're human too and are likely hitting the stages of grief as they write, and they're here to support you. My most feared writers are now my friends and I go to them for support when I'm in the weeds of self esteem.

Finally, if comparison is stopping you from sitting down and writing at all, you gotta just push through that pain. Write something. No pressure, it can suck, just put a 100 words down. And then the next day do something different. And the next. Just a 100 words! Until something sticks and you feel like you can keep going with it. And then apply previous steps so you don't give up before you're done.

And then? Post it. Fuck it. Your brain might be telling you it's not as good as X's fic but someone is gonna come into your comments and gush about loving it. If you can't post it because you're proud, then post it for the validation. Just share the thing so it becomes habit.

Lastly.

It's fic. We're not competing. We're not getting paid. We're doing this for love of our characters and if you're comparing and struggling with negative self talk then you're not having fun. Figure out what it'll take for you to find the joy in fandom and then try again.

I hope some of this helps! It's so hard but being objective about it is the most important thing you can learn to do ♥ And I promise, your work is better than you tell yourself it is.

[m0e-ru]

why do you use him/her he/she pronouns for mim in that post?? isnt mim strictly they/them???

yeah okay no. 1: sorry that post was literally unreadable no punctuation no context no shit no nothing no life. like literally how my discord message dumps look like I am SO sorry I really am. you can always ask though I talk about shit like it's an already known thing I'm sorry my dear okyakusan

no. 2.1: umm short answer: idc about pronouns really I've been juggling them the whole time. I'm balling 🤾🤾🤾 also I'm a writer and I like to be dramatic but that comes with the fact I make shit too vague and it doesn't make sense in the end but I like the drama. like telanovelas <-doesn't know what they're saying at this point

no. 2.2 and all the other sections under cut because I'll be a lot more talkative this time around while I uh. still have the energy though

I'll just put a really loose chart here for a second

Izy (my idea ,technically OC, of the whole Iznmi and Marie once was) - she/her Marie - she/her Mim - whatever (the situation calls for)

while publically and online I don't talk about my ideas in detail or like, something closer to a finished product, I do like to use pronouns dramatically trying to make use of the English langauge (<- thinks in 2-3 languages at a time). In this case, it'd be towards mim's different aspects. as a diety (she/her), human facade (he/him), or like uh Ame-no-Sagiri (it/its) and other stuff they do while possessing people probably.

imagine there being an omniscient narrator but likes to be dramatic and talking to an audience in the voice of a certain character and from that "perspective" (<- desperately trying to explain their bullshit writing style). If I write from a Teddie perspective then the narrative would use "sensei" for Souji and describe details curiously, or an Adachi perspective where the narrative would use "idiot" and sounds very annoyed and lazy, or Souji using "senpai" and is particular with descriptions and with things that catch his eye, or, very vaguely, mim trying to distinguish their roles and identities as god and as this human they're acting as.

but the narrator is also its own guy and decides to make analogies that could foreshadow something or make things sound interesting or sound embarrassing and cheesy and (gritting teeth, punching the fucking air)

onto a more personal take though, I guess I do leave the impression I use they/them for mim pretty firmly but not really strictly! I am a silly guy I don't really care it's not really firm at all lol

that, or you caught me while I was building this station from the ground up (2020 blog making) and pronoun usage was something really. violent eye twitching. to me. Sure I had some issues with it on a really personal level but it's fine now if that's what you're worried about. I get the feeling I do and if you came back after a while to see me messing around and letting she/he come out of my mouth without choking I'm sorry if that disturbed you. Just remembering I'm in a Community and this guy was a doll thing to be played around with and I can decide my corners and circles with blorbo. and also coming to terms with. myself (self projection revealing things about oneself WHO KNEW!!!!!!!) Or I could be completely mega wrong and I'm the only one in the world who had this experience oh well sorry

reiterating from my last letter (really long post, whichever that one was) "Mim" can be something so personal but at the same time I don't want to alienate people but make them feel comfortable with it instead. like a house name, like I am LITERALLY that friend who has nicknames for everybody and you just know who I'm referring to and you aren't obligated to use the same terms.

mim is like my guy. my boy best friend. my mom. my terrible aunt. my knows too much grandparent. my funny uncle. my cousin from a different city. my brother. my local cryptid freak thing

LIKE use whatever you want for mim, for Nami, for Izanami, whatever. I don't want you to force yourself to use mim because you think referring to them as anything else would make me turn into a hater. I am tottsly fine really its fun seeing what other people use. like a personality indicator. but if you do use mim genuinely then, well that makes me feel a bit soft.

if you want a closer look at my brain I'll try and plot it down /scratches head/

Mim is a general go-to, Mimi if I want to feel sentimental. Hell, I'll switch it up to Iznmi like calling your teacher sir Benny in class but having to say sir De Guzman to call him out from the faculty office (unless this analogy is a bit more specific, sorry, I meant when I'm vomiting ideas in message vs trying to plot it out for a proper discussion or talk to other people who don't know I use mim)

Iznmi is all contracted because of the Horrors but I ended up sticking with it, without the added Horrors, because it got easier to type and my keyboard already learned the word in its autofill, so. I also use it when I try to distance myself from blorbo vision and try to discuss more specifically and with proper details.

Izy is the oc she's her own thing. I got tired of using "izanami-no-mikoto" all the time i mean heres my nickname documentation

Izanami is when I'm referring outside of P4 like the creation myth or other Izanamis in different media (hifumi.........).

like a special code for myself especially when I'm trying to discuss all four in one sentence (IT GETS CRAZYYY) like "Izanami (p4) and Izanami (who marie was as a whole) and Izanami (creation myth) and Izanami (there was this really cool blazblue recolor I saw one time)" I WOULD'VE GONE INSANE !

okay back to pronouns um. having mim as a blorbo put me through very special horrors but at the same time a journey that taught me a lot. figuring myself out and what kind of trans swag I want. pronouns, presentation, etc etc all that junk. and I realized I do not really care? I can do what I want and so can mim and I'm happy for them and by extension happy for me. while I don't really care, I guess I don't like messing with the topic too much publically and I know of some people who have it close to their heart and do take identity and transness very seriously. I don't want to seem apathetic but also non accepting at the same time, it's just, augh, there are reasons I don't want to be popular and the fear of having a knife to my throat to have aggressive questions like this. you can do what you want! it's cool 👍 I don't want to take sides most of the time (unconfrontational, doesnt want to fight) but I'll have opinions when I have opinions (you know. the obvious). this is, auggg it's tiring to be people pleasing in general (it is 2am) THAT'S ENOUGH OF A PEROSNAL SPIEL GOODNJGHT ANON HPE YOU HAD A NICE FKRST TWO WEEKS OF THE NEW YEAR.

[solradguy]

Nap time​

[pangolin-404]

thinkin about ocs. old ocs who have existed for years and years and years, undergone changed with their creator. ocs whose stories exist in the back of one’s mind, untouched for so long but still there. ocs whose stories are half-done, without endings or middles or beginnings. ocs without a story, who exist as lone characters in a vaguely-defined world. ocs who have undergone tremendous change and spawned another new oc through constant what-ifs

[yudonomi]

Kingdom Hearts and Hetalia for the ask meme please?

blorbo asks

im gonna put a disclaimer that im still in the middle of 3D and havent played KH3, but hmm anw:

Kingdom Hearts

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

Axel, who got the honor of being my first ever dokidoki (2d or 3d or otherwise) right before he decided to burn himself up :/

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

Namineee my sweet summer artist child who I projected onto before I learned what projection was

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

She’s gotten a lot more appreciation now but Kairi used to a bit ignored and tbh I don’t blame them she barely shows up/does anything in the early games

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

me in the Days tutorial taking my sweet time so Zexy would stay around longer mmm

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

I got into this fandom in the late 00s where simply being female was sometimes a controversy for a character so Larxene lmao

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

Roxas. Cuz Days + 2 wasn’t angst enough apparently

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

mansexXemnas/Xehanort/Ansem/whatever the fuck he goes by these days idk someday I’ll catch up and understand for sure but not today

Hetalia

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

ErzsiErzsiErzsiErzsi bi awakening Erzsi

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

Taiwan, who I'd been drawing with wavy hair for years before someone pointed out her hair was actually straight

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

Belarus my problematic queen

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

Historical states who have since integrated into a ‘main’ nation. So like, Genoa/Bavaria/Hesse/Saxony/that sort? Mmm i eat that shit up

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

Rodi defense squad since 2014 I will defend you from so much mischaracterization

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

Vino and Feli are taking turns rn (see: my most recent fic)

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

Gil lmao bye