#catch him taking shots of Hennessy and stuff
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ranking my favorite horror villains by who would piss off my strict Asian family members the most if I brought them home for dinner
the answer is All of Them bc I haven’t finished school yet
#noises from the attic#I’m half asleep I could do this tho#I’m thinking of this bc iirc bloody brahms had some headcanons abt slashers meeting y/n’s big Italian family#I don’t rly talk to the other side of my family so idk what they’d think#Winslow would be fine but he’d start a fight with anyone who says art is not a ‘real job’#bubba would make an off impression bc he can’t talk and he’d be shy without a mask#but I think like he’d be super helpful and polite and kids would love him#Beauregard……….#I think he could Be Normal for once lmao#dude might need a primer on some stuff but I think he’d love to shoot the shit with some old uncles#catch him taking shots of Hennessy and stuff#I think Bo would just love going to family functions / parties where they have a whole roast pig n such. bubba ofc for the pork as well#maybe I’ll put this shit not in the tags next time
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Bad Boy Series: Do Hanse
Warnings: Mentions of drinking, smoking, and drugs. Mildly violent themes. Mildly suggestive themes.
What makes them bad?
Probably mostly reputation. Compared to his group he’s really not bad, does he support their actions...yeah, but he don’t do too much personally. Not for lack of knowledge. No not at all, he could probably be the scariest one. He knows how to get away with ANYTHING. He’s the one that makes plans for things and hides all the messes. A very meticulous person.
What aura do they seem to have?
Quiet, odd one out kinda vibes. Usually. He can easily be intimidating though on his bad days. If he doesn’t know you though he kinda just ignores you and seems oddly interested in a lot of creepy stuff. Like why does he know in such detail how clean up different blood stains?
Do they drink? If so, drink of choice?
I feel like he does drink. Not intensely though. He’s not a super social person, so he usually only sips his way through a glass or two. I feel like you’d either find him drinking whiskey or Hennessy.
Do they smoke?
Yep! I think he smoke quite a bit actually. Surrounded pretty regularly with a haze. If you’re looking for him, check the spots where people sneak away for a smoke. Pretty good chance you’ll find him there.
Do they do drugs?
Yes, but not too a ton and is picky about what. He’ll only smoke stuff. Not gonna both with them in any other form.
Do they ride a motorcycle?
Unfortunately I feel like I’m going to have to say no on this one. I mean he might try it out or do it if he has too. But I feel like he’s more of a pretty car kinda guy, like a nice sleek sports car, kinda pretty car.
How do they dress?
Um lots of low cut items and open button downs. Mesh. Honestly not too different than how he usually dresses. I feel like he’s constantly dying his hair though. Reds, black, and various forms of blonde platinum hanse is yummy are the most common. Wears lots of jewelry and ‘distressed’ clothes.
Are they a leader or follower?
Depends on how you look at this. Most might say he’s a follower, because he’s not the one appearing to take charge. However, as I said he’s the one that plans everything and cleans up all the messes. So in a way he does kinda call the shots....
Are they a player?
I don’t think he’s too much of a player. Everyone would be all over him though. He just usually focuses on other things. But on the occasion when someone does catch his eye it’s either purely physical and short lived, or...you seem very special to him and he’ll be very loyal to you. Totally looks like a fuckboi tho
Are they bad around everyone?
Hahahahahaha........no. Honestly he’s usually a softy, he just is kinda introverted and awkward. You have to piss him off somehow to be on his bad side. He’s one of those who does bad things with good intentions, you know? Baby energy tho
How to get on their good side?
Be observant and wise. Intelligence is a plus, but he knows you can be intelligent and still be unwise and he doesn’t like that. He like those who are observant and wise, not easily tricked. They’ll easily make it onto his good side. For some reason I feel like he’d have little tests people have to pass to be in his circle of people, but then they’re on his good side pretty much always. People who are shy, quiet, and outcasts will likely be on his good side too. Silently defends them.
How to piss them off?
Don’t ask dumb shit. Don’t hurt those around him or try to expose them after he’s cleaned up the mess. Don’t think you can easily outwit him, really just don’t be too cocky. Like playful smug is fine, but don’t take it farther than that. Don’t try to blackmail or manipulate them.
Do they have piercings?
Oh yeah! Bad boy Hanse would have even more piercings than he has now. I kinda and by kinda I mean am like really think he’s probably had his nips pierced. Maybe some other...fun...spots too, just saying.
Do they have tattoos?
Once again I feel like bad boy Hanse would have even more tattoos than he has right now. LOVES and I mean REALLY LOVES to show all of his tattoos off.
Are they violent? Or do they fight their fights in a different way?
He can be, but usually he’s more of a blackmailer. He can find anything out about anyone and will use that to turn the tables in a heartbeat without even batting an eye at how harsh it might be. Very meticulous planner. Usually lets the others handle the violence, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how to be violent or that he hasn’t done it in the past.
“Well well look at what the cat dragged in~” *takes a drag from his cigarette glass of whiskey in his free hand as he smirks at you* “Are you here to continue our little game or are you ready to admit defeat already?”
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A Flight of Fancy -1- (Black!Batmom)
AN: So hi I know this is the first story I’ve posted in months and that there are tons of other things that I still have to write and catch up with, but this request was important to me so that’s why I did it first. I’m not sure when I’ll feel like talking about why I’ll was gone, but I will be trying to post more regularly from now on (Trying!). Anyway way thank you to @farala-sunita for the request and the detail given. It really helped me get this story out faster than I would have other wise.
TW: Guns and Gunfire,a hostage situation, and a few cuss words
“I don’t see you, are you sure I’m at the right place,” You mutter into your phone. Rocking forward on to the balls of your feet you try to see through the crowded club. The heavy bass and the flashing lights are making it even harder to see the people you’re looking for.
“Ari is going to jump, she’s wearing one of those busted silver wings she likes,” A slightly irritated voice responds. You hear a small voice squeak out a perturbed ‘HEY!’ through the phone.
Moments later you see a small head rise above a group of girls. It is in fact a silver wig, not as horrible as some of Ari’s wigs usually are, and cutely styled in a pair of pig tails. Her short arms waved as she jumped, making her look like an excited fairy.
“I see her,” You say with a chuckle.
“Good, now hurry the hell up,” The phone clicks off quickly.
You roll your eyes at the tone but simply shrug it off.
Working your way through the gyrating bodies of the crowd, you have to apologize more than once when your hips bump into unsuspecting couples. Luckily none seemed too bothered by the intrusion, opting more to try and coerce you to dance once they see your figure than turn you away. Your cheeks warm at the invitation, but you politely decline.
“You guys got a table?” You question breathlessly as you come upon your group of friends.
A tall woman with honey brown skin stands with her hands on her hips, she flicks her eyes up and down your form, “It’s not like we haven’t been planning this for months, it just took to ‘til now for you to show up.”
“Sorry Kenya,” You say sheepishly. “We get swamped so easily, it’s hard to make time, you know that.”
She frowns, dark eyes looking over your form. Under her gaze you shift nervously, and your eyes flick to the other stone faces at the table.
Your eyes bounce back up to her pretty but firm face; you try you best to give her big doe eyes. You two lock eyes for a moment longer.
“Aww you dummy bitch, come here,” A wide smile spreads across her full lips and her long arms envelop you into a warm hug.
You have to stifle a giggle as she warmly rubs her hand up and down your back in sisterly affection. A chorus of cheers ring out from the other girls.
“How have you been, girlie?” She coos as she nuzzles into your curls.
“Okay,” you sigh as you pull back from her and giver her smile.
“Good,” she says slapping you on the back and then throwing an arm around your shoulders. She pulls you close and turns to the other girls, “Now that she’s here, let’s get fucked up!”
***
“What is with this city?” Serena, a mahogany brown beauty with straight dark brown hair and cinnamon highlights, questions exhaustedly as she throws down her second shot of tequila. “I swear almost everyone is on their way to crazy town.”
“There has to be something in the water,” you speak up, “I’ve never seen so many, like, objectively bad people.”
“You just think these people are crazy because you guys have been sheltered so much,” Kenya says taking a long sip from her vodka tonic. “As someone whose been working since they were fourteen, let me tell you, everyone is pretty fucked up. And they’ll do something fucked up to you the first time you let them. You always have to be on guard.”
As if on cue a thump lands on your shoulder, a warm head snuggles into you. You look down and let a small smile cross your face. Ari’s small head slumps against you, her eyes hazy as she drinks the last bit of her margarita. It was only her second drink, but she was already out of it. It was no secret to anyone at the table that neither you or Ari were the most capable of drinkers, but even you can handle more than two drinks; more like three.
“You’re right,” she coo’s drunkenly. “But it’s definitely worse her-*hic*- here.”
“I thought we came here to celebrate,” Jo-Jo, a full cheeked, septum pieced, artist drawls quietly as she sips her Hennessy. “Not to talk about how shitty this city is.”
“Boooo, why don’t you ever let me rant,” Serena, says full red lips pulling down in to a pout. “I don’t have anyone to talk to besides you guys. No one gets it when I say this city is weird, especially at work. They all think that I’m the weird one. Like sorry, I’m not used to niggas robbing banks every day like we’re in the middle of the 19-fucking-20’s.”
Kenya chuckles, “Jo is right though, we’re here to celebrate our two youngest.”
Eyes around the table shift to you and Ari, who gives a lazy thumb up.
“Our two babies here have finally made it too the big city,” Kenya starts with a smile. “No more suburbs, no more living out of mommy and daddies house. They are officially adults.”
A little cheer goes around the table. You feel a little shy at the attention, but Ari cheers loudly.
“So as a little gift we got you girls this,” Kenya, motions to another woman at the table, Chanté. Chanté was a quiet, slightly stern woman. Best friends with Kenya, and surprisingly Ari’s older sister. The woman hands Kenya two envelopes who in turn hands one to you and places the other in front of Ari. “We all chipped in.”
Excitedly you open the envelope and are almost instantly confused, “Happy six months?”
“Well, if you had shown up earlier it would have been the six-month anniversary of you moving into your own apartment.”
“Yeah but, Ken,” You sputter, “This is a congrats on your pregnancy card.”
Sure, enough the mostly white card had a featureless pink drawing of a woman with her hands spread lovingly across her protruding stomach.
“Hey bitch, we can take it back!” She snaps playfully.
“Okay, Okay,” you say fully pulling the card out. You flip open the card and among the words of congratulations, there is a small folded check sitting in the middle of the card. “You didn’t.”
“You haven’t even looked at it yet,” Serena says hazel eyes buzzing with excitement.
Gingerly, you take the check from the card and flip it open; you gasp.
“You guys, this is $7000,” You say slightly shakily as pinpricks of tears begin to assault your eyes.
“Holy shit,” Ari says as she tears into her own card. “What the hell guys?”
“We’re your sisters,” Jo-Jo says with a click of her tongue and a smack of her black painted lips. “Clearly you guys didn’t read our bylaws.”
“Bylaws,” Serena snorts, “No one read them Jo. Ken and Chan wrote them on a piece of notebook paper that was barley legible by the time these two came a long.”
“And they still signed it,” Chanté interrupts speaking for the first time. “If they couldn’t read it they should have said something at the time.”
“Why so you could give them the evil eye? Girl bye,” Serena responds with a roll of her eyes and a flick of her wrist.
Chanté does, indeed, proceed to give her a withering glare.
“We told you we’d take care of you when you graduated right?” Kenya asked looking between the two of you. “We meant to give this to you guys when you first moved here, but some of us weren’t all the way financially stable.”
Serena shifts uncomfortably while Jo-Jo sticks her pierced tongue out at her in defiance.
“And we were supposed to give you this at your six-month anniversary, but we know that didn’t happen.”
This time her accusatory tone is directed at you and you find yourself shifting as well.
“But money a year later is better than no money at all.”
“It’s so much though?” You protest looking between the older women at the table.
“Speak for yourself,” Ari says swooning slightly.
“We figured two months' rent in any decent apartment in this overcrowded city, and a little for expenses and fun,” Chanté said looking at you with a warm smile before her gaze narrowed at her sister. “Ari, give me your check so you don’t lose it.”
The drunk young girl stuck her tongue out at her sister and teasingly waved it at Chanté, “I’m rich you can’t tell me what to do now!”
Chanté snatches the check from Ari’s and stuffs it in her purse, “I hope you know you’re coming home with me. You could never handle your liquor.”
“Whatever, as long as I can see my baby when I get there,” the younger sister croons. Chanté had a Boston Terrier, named Prince who was just as spoiled as the name implied.
“He’s at a sitter, you don’t think I’d leave him alone by himself when we’re going to be out until God knows when,” Chanté reasons.
“Can we get Ice Cream then? I’m really hungry all of a sudden.”
“Are you 12?” Jo-Jo interrupts with a snicker.
A raspberry effortlessly flows from Ari’s lips.
“This means a lot to me Ken,” You say softly while the others engage in a childish argument. “Student loans are a killer.”
“We got you, girlie,” She says with a confident wink. “I know for a fact that if I hadn’t gotten that one big scholarship, I’d still be paying that shit off.”
“Hey, waiter!” Serena shouts banging on the table trying to get anyone’s attention over the bass of the club. “We need shots!”
“Water for me,” you speak up.
“You done for the night?” Ari asks looking at you with big eyes, “You barley drunk anything!”
“I have a shift in the morning I can’t afford to get drunk,” you reason.
“Ugh you and work,” Ari says with a wave of her hand. “You’re almost as bad as those two.”
She jabs a thumb ant Kenya and Chanté both of whom narrow their eyes in irritation.
“We could take our money back,” Chanté says quickly.
“If you do I’m telling mommy.”
“Ugh, he’s not even paying attention,” Serena says practically standing on her seat waving her arms around.
“This isn’t a restaurant, you’re going to have to go up to him,” Jo-Jo says coolly.
“When are you going to come work for us?” Kenya asks looking at you seriously.
“I don’t know, corporate seems scary,” You answer hoping that she’d drop the issue once she sees how uncomfortable you are.
“Yeah it’s scary as hell,” Kenya agrees. “But once you get there and you make a name for yourself, they can’t tell you shit. I’m telling you some of them people be looking at me like I’m crazy when I come up with new ideas, but guess what, they do it. They know the rules: they listen and get paid or don’t and get fired.”
“I-,” you start but she cuts you off.
“Look pulling triple shifts at a bowling alley and waitressing while selling papers to college kids isn’t going to pay the bills forever.”
Your cheeks warm when she calls you out.
“I know you had a bad experience at the place you were at last time, but this is me we’re talking about. You need to put that degree to work. You’re a programmer at heart and I could use you, and you can use the money.”
“I wouldn’t have to work with a lot of people would I?” You ask slightly timidly.
“A small team of like minded people that I picked out myself,” She says with a shrug. “Just come see me this week. Quit those jobs, I’m saving a spot for you.”
You look at the woman whom you’ve called an older sister for years now with wide surprised eyes, “Okay.”
“Okay,” She says with a grin, “Good.”
“I’m going!” Serena says as she forces herself up from her seat.
“Kick his ass!” Ari screams.
“Chan, control your gremlin,” Jo-Jo mutters.
“I’ve been trying since she was six,” The woman in question spits out between clinched teeth.
“We have to get one dance out of this before the night is over,” Kenya says.
“Aww you know, Pea isn’t going to dance,” Ari says snuggling back into you and poking your cheek.
“We’re still calling me, Pea?” You moan slightly embarrassed. Pea was short for Sweet Pea, the name that Ari and Chanté’s mother used to call you when you would stay at their home. The others got hooked on calling you that and the name has stuck.
“Only if it’s a wedding,” Jo-Jo comments slyly.
“Remember when she took it down to the floor?” Kenya laughs
“All the way down,” Ari says slapping your thigh.
“Guys!” You whine, “I don’t want to-”
“HEY LET GO OF ME!” A voice shrieks.
All of you snap your heads toward the voice, the familiarity of the scream sending shivers down your backs.
From your position you can see Serena struggling to wrench her arm away from a figure. The room was still dark and the music was still pounding, making it hard to determine who was holding her.
“What the FUCK!” Kenya screams flying from the booth with Jo-Jo right on her heels.
“Call the police!” Chanté said to you before joining the other girls to help Serena.
“Hurry,” Ari says slapping your shoulders slightly as she got on her knees to watch the situation unfold.
“Trying!” You scream as you as you fiddle through your purse searching for your phone.
“Let go of her asshole!” You hear Kenya scream.
The music is still going but the atmosphere in the club has started to change. You can hear a mumbling break through the crowd. And then the screams started.
“HE’S GOT A GUN!”
It wasn’t the voice of one of your friends it was someone else.
“He’s hurting my sister Pea! What do we do?!” Ari screams.
Your head snaps up to look back to where the situation was unfolding just fast enough to see Chanté fall to the floor holding her cheek.
And while it was an awful sight, it only held your attention for a minute. There wasn’t just one figure over where the girls where, he’d multiplied to at least three or four.
“SOMEONE GET THESE FUCKING LIGHTS ON AND TURN THE GODDAMN MUSIC OFF.”
The command was followed by a rapid succession of gunfire and screams from patrons after. The music went off almost immediately, but the lights were a different story. At least thirty seconds had passed and the lights were still off.
Thinking quickly, you grab Ari’s arm and pull her down with you under the table.
“What are you doing?” She shrieks. “We have to help them!”
“What are we going to do? Think! They have guns” You hiss. “If they don’t see us when the lights come on maybe they won’t know we’re here.”
She looks at you with teary worried eyes and nods her head in agreement, wig shifting slightly.
“While we’re down here we can call the police and tell them what's happening,” You say as level headily as possible, while still searching for your phone.
“What if they kill her, Pea?” She whines her hands coming up to cover her ears as if she was trying to keep her head from spinning, the alcohol likely wasn’t helping.
“They won’t,” You say finally finding your phone and pulling it out. “If they wanted to kill her they just would have shot her.”
She opens her mouth to respond but is startled when the lights of the club finally come back on. The once hazy purple club is sudden lit, almost bone white. The dark table, while still a place of refuge, becomes less bearable as the light reveals the disgusting pieces of gum and other matter that are stuck to the bottom of the piece of furniture. Ari gags when she sees what was under the table that you had all been previously sitting at. She shakes her head and tries to clear her thoughts.
“We’re going to be okay,” you assure her with a whisper.
You aren’t sure that she hears you, because she either refuses to respond or no longer has the will to.
Shifting your attention back to your phone, you finally begin to dial 911. You press the phone to your ear and wait as the phone rings.
And you wait.
And wait.
And wait.
Until finally, the phone clicks ending the call. You pull the phone away from your ear and your brow furrows angrily when you see that you have no service. But that shouldn’t be, you pay your bills on time and even if you didn’t, shouldn’t you be able to place an emergency call?
“Hey boss,” you hear a deep voice call over the whimpering over the crowd. “I shut the phones off but I think someone tried to get a call off.”
Your shoulders tense, we’re they talking about you? You couldn’t have been the only one who tried to get a phone call off could you? Surely, if they were able, someone would have tried to call the police too. And how could they stop phones from making calls?
“Nothing they can do now,” A voice says rather nonchalantly. “We just gotta wait here until we find a way out.”
“You heard the man!” The first voice yells, “Find a way out of here.”
You can hear at least ten pairs of boot clad feet start to move around, hurriedly looking for an emergency exit.
You want to peak out, to see if you can get a glimpse of your friends, but just as you’re about to make a move to do so a large figure stops in front of your table.
A thick pair of legs clad in dark pants and a pair of steel-toed combat boots are now positioned in front of you. You feel a lump form in your throat as the barrel of some type of military grade weapon dangles precariously between you and the figure in front.
Ari too, seems to see the gun and gets frightened. A small gasp leaves her form before she slaps a hand over her mouth.
You shoot impatient eyes at her and she gives you an apologizing look. Her gaze however, turns fearful as she begins to look past you.
Slowly you turn your head, and find yourself staring face to face with angry green eyes. A gloved hand reaches under the table and pulls you out from underneath. You let out a terrified screech.
“Pea!” Jo-Jo’s voice screams out followed by a grunt of pain.
There is some relief in hearing her voice and knowing that she is safe.
Quickly however, the relief is lost as you are smashed against the attacker’s body, his arm around your neck and his other around your wrist squeezing until your hand was forced to drop the phone that you were holding.
“Found the snitch boss,” he says gruffly.
A black masked figure in the center of the room, lording over a horde of whimpering bodies barley looks at him, “Smash the phone.”
The man brings a large leg up and his foot quickly descends on your phone, smashing the screen to bits.
“Done, boss.”
‘Boss’ seemed like he was going to respond when suddenly the lights in the club shut off. It was pitch black; it was so bad you almost couldn’t see in front of you.
“I thought I told you to get those fucking lights on!”
“They are on Boss! At least that’s what the system says,” another crony screams.
“Shit!” Boss says. “That means one thing! It’s the Bat be on guard!”
“Fuck!” The man holding you says gruffly.
He pulls you tighter against him and situates the two of you so that the gun is in front of the both of you. He’s moving frantically, almost spinning around like he’s looking for a ghost.
His movements get more erratic as there starts to be various moans of pain permeating throughout the room.
“Oh God,” he mumbles, “He’s here, he’s going to kill me.”
“Not likely,” a dark voice growls from behind the pair of you.
The man spins and lets off a few shots in the air, screaming in terror as he does so. The heat of the gun causes you to scream slightly.
There is small movement again and the man shoots. The flash of the muzzle lights up the room in front of you and because of it you are just barely able to make out two objects flying directly at your face. They seem to have a mind of their own as they swing around your face to hit the man behind you.
You fall to the floor but before you can right yourself, your leg is pulled and you’re going sliding across the floor.
“Pea?” An unsure voice questions when you finally come to a stop.
A warm hand finds yours and squeezes slightly.
“Ken?” You question.
“Thank God,” she mumbles, “He saved you!”
You all sit in darkness for what feels like ages the only thing that makes time pass is the occasional grunts of the hostage takers. It was the only sign that what you were experiencing was real, that you had really been saved by the Bat.
Soon a large spotlight is flashed into the club and your mind begins to register the police sirens. Had they been there the whole time?
The light illuminates the club and you’re treated to something of a horror show as police officers begin to rush in and secure the scene. The bodies, not dead, of most of the attackers are hanging from the ceiling by their arms, legs, and whatever else he could grab to string them up.
The man himself is standing not too far from where you are and looking around the room like he was surveying his work.
A strong hand is grabbing your and pulling you out of the club and you allow yourself to be pulled passively.
“Thank you, Batman!” You say loudly hoping he would hear.
There is only a slight turn of his head to let you know that he heard you.
***
“That was quite an experience, are you sure you’re doing better?” A smooth concerned voice asks looking at you with worried brown eyes.
You meet the eyes of your new therapist, Dr. Campbell. An older black woman that reminds you of your mother with her kind and caring face but also with her cutting advice that cuts as much as it does motivate you.
“I mean I think I’m okay,” you answer with a shrug. “I took that job with Kenya, that’s how I got you. And work is good, it’s not as bad as I thought it was going to be.”
“I asked how you were,” She interrupts looking at you with stern brown eyes.
Your eyes flick away from her, as you suddenly find it hard to meet her gaze and tears prick at the corner of your eyes. Finally, you say, “I thought I was going to die. I thought they were going to use me as shield. I thought I’d wouldn’t get to see my family again. I thought my friends were going to have to watch me die. How am I? I’m horrible.”
A box of tissues is shoved in front of your face. You touch your cheek and realize that tears had been rolling down your cheeks.
“And I thought heroes were supposed to make you feel safe!” You scream out suddenly. “He was just as scary as the guys who held us hostage.”
She looks at you slightly confusedly before something clicks in her head, “Oh, he saved you that night.”
“Yeah he ‘saved’ me,” you say shrugging. “Doesn’t mean that I don’t get nightmares about those little bat things flying at my face.”
“He tries his best,” she says with heavy sigh. “But he does leave a bad taste is some people’s mouths. It's just a part of Gotham living unfortunately.”
“He could at least smile; you’re already having the worst day of your life when saves you”
“Oh sweetie,” she says with a chuckle and a shake of her head. Her shoulder length, gray streaked bob shaking with her, “This is Gotham. If you want someone to smile while they save you move to Metropolis. Here, we take what we can get.”
“I get it,” you say with a relenting sigh. “I guess he fits the city somehow.”
“According to your schedule,” she says as she checks the clock hanging behind you. “We are running out of time.”
“Eleven already?” You mumble earning a chuckle.
“First things first, I want to say that even if you can’t see it you are definitely improving. You gave me details today that you never mentioned before, and you got through most of the story without crying. You are strong, you survived, and you are going to continue to overcome things that you never thought you would be able to.”
“Thank you,” you say slightly warming inside at the reassurance.
“Secondly, I want to give you some homework. Call a friend, watch a movie, go to brunch,” she says giving you a knowing look. “You have to start getting back out into the world. You can’t let this stop you from living your life.”
“I-, okay I’ll try.”
“Good,” she says standing up and holding out her hand to shake.
You meet her warm hand and shake it only to stumble forward as she pulls you in for a warm hug.
“Good luck today,” She says with a warm smile as she pulls back.
“Thank you,” you say slightly breathlessly and with an airy smile on your face. “I’ll tell you how it goes next week.”
You gather your bag and head for the door.
“E-mail me if you need me,” She calls.
“Will do.”
***
In the small private elevator reserved for the partners of Warner and Bobbitt’s Medical Fabrications, you rocked back and forth on your heels. The coffee that you stopped to get on the way over to the office had done little for your nerves, but at least you felt like you were zooming a million miles a minute. If you were moving fast maybe the rest of the world would speed up too.
As the elevator shot fast up to the 31St floor you started to worry. Was your blouse too tight? The beige pencil skirt too much? An aunt had warned you against wearing fitted clothes like the ones you were wearing now. That your natural shape and curves would distract people from your talent and brain. But you couldn’t exactly show up to this meeting in a sweatshirt and jeans the way that you usually did. After all, this wasn’t your job on the line, it was Kenya’s. The only thing you were confident in was your hair; thick and curly, you’d spent hours to make sure the lusciousness of your hair was on full display. Still was that enough to distract from your nervousness.
Maybe you had time to shoot a quick email to Dr. Campbell?
*Ding*
Too late you’re already here.
With a gulp you step out of the elevator and make your way to the conference room.
The glass is see through, and you can see the familiar tall form of Kenya talking to a group of men in suits. Sometimes you swear that all that sweet talk to get you to take the job was really for her own benefit. It was hard enough being a woman in a corporate power position, but being the only black woman? She must have felt like she had a target on her back. And while you were glad, she trusted you enough to give this job, you weren’t sure what you were going to do if she really did need back up. What if you got tongue tied and couldn’t explain your work?
Kenya catches your gaze and gives you a curt nod and a small professional smile. You take that as your que to come into the room. The door slides open and the chatter momentarily stops. The executives who recognize you turn their attention to the files in their hands.
Kenya’s assistant, Max, quietly moves over to you and hands you a folder with Warner and Bobbitt’s initials on it. Inside you find an itinerary of the meeting. An overview of the project you’d been shadowing and just started work on. It seemed like this was an acquisition meeting. Meaning someone was trying to buy the project even though it was barely out of prototype stages.
“I know that we have gone over the gist of the project gentlemen,” Kenya starts with a smile. “If there are any questions about the programming of the machine or the software, please feel free to ask them to our new lead engineer on the project.”
‘Oh shit that’s me’
Kenya gives you a reassuring smile, “If there are any other questions about anything else having to do with the project please feel free to ask me.”
To your surprise and relief, none of the executives in the room were too concerned about A.I. programming. Did she just bring you here to get your nerves all jumbled up? Clearly the meeting was over, even though you had come at the time that she’d told you to get there. What was Kenya up to?
“Excuse me?”
You jump, your shoulders find their way up to your ears in surprise. The voice is deep and considerably younger than the rest of the men in the room.
Your eyes meet with Kenya’s who has a sly smirk on her face. This is what she wanted?
Stiffly you turn to look back and meet a pair of dazzling blue eyes and wide million-dollar smile.
“Can I ask you a question about how this works?” He says smoothly.
“Huh?” You reply dumbly.
“Sorry,” he says mistaking your awe for contempt. “I’m Bruce Wayne.”
Your words are stuck your throat and your eyes can only go back and forth between his now outstretched and his eyes. Unfortunately, there is only one phrase that comes your mind.
“Son of a Bitch.”
#batman x reader#batman#batfamily#batmom#batman imagine#black!reader#black!batmom#black!batmom x batman
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Best of Marvel: Week of April 17th, 2019 - WEEK OF ZDARSKY!
Best of this Week: Spider-Man: Life Story #2 - The 70s - Chip Zdarsky, Mark Bagley, Andrew Hennessy, Frank D'Armata and Travis Lanham
War destroys everything, the men and women that fight in them and the relationships between those who are left behind.
This issue was a roller coaster ride, starting off very high and happy-ish and tumbling down the road that leads to Peter Parker’s inevitable destitution. It was emotional and refreshing to see the Marvel Universe evolve with time, seeing characters grow up and the world slowly build in a decent amount of time that allows for events to just happen without cramming.
Mark Bagley continues to amaze as, though his action art was better in the previous issue, with more dynamic scenes being shown, the character art was amazing in this issue. He takes his time with the scenes and is very attentive to detail. Though I HATE Reed’s goatee, it is still very distinct and comes off as something I could see Reed rocking in his mid 40s - 50s. Harry looks like a haggard young man, he’s gone through the ringer trying to keep Oscorp alive and the effects on his health show. Heck, even Peter’s face, after an argument with Mary Jane, where he doesn’t shave the next morning is so AMAZING to me.
Chip Zdarsky is killing it with his Spider-Man work and somehow even found a way to make a mini-Clone Saga happen without making things feel hokey and stupid. I hope this book gives him or other creators opportunities outside of “Marvel Presents” to do stories by the decade with characters. I want to know more of Captain America’s involvement in the Vietnam War, I want to see a dirtbag Iron Man profiting from the continuation of the war which ended in 1975 in our world, but has stretched into 1977 in theirs.
Spoilers Below, but I highly, HIGHLY recommend this book.
It’s been three years since the death of Flash Thompson who went to fight in the Vietnam War and things have gotten more intense on the battlefront with Captain America going rogue and saving lives on both sides and the entry of Giant Man on the side of Iron Man and the American Army. Public opinion is still divided with Reed Richards, sporting an awful goatee, taking the side of Captain America and Peter Parker stating that those with the power have a responsibility to help and before the argument can take a nasty turn, Otto Octavius, now reformed after a heart attack makes him reevaluate his life, steps in to calm both men.
Peter’s taken a job working with the two genius scientists as a Mechanical Engineer, he’s married the love of his life, Gwen Stacy and his life is going well, but he still can’t help but think that he could have done more in lieu of Flash’s death. After a conversation with his wife and Professor Miles Warren, about his opposing opinions to Dr. Richards, Pete prepares to go to a nightclub to catch up with Mary Jane and Harry Osborn. The latter of whom had recently met with his father in prison and learned some shocking news, causing him to get stoned at the club, leaving a drunk Mary Jane to chastise Peter for not using his powers to help Flash, revealing that she’s known he’s been Spider-Man for years now.
This scene may be one of the best in the issue as Bagley shows why his faces are some of the most expressive in comics, using a wide range to convey happiness and reassurance to bitter dejection and anger. Mary Jane in particular is stunningly beautiful and stands out as a definite representation of late 70s fashion and beauty.
Things only go further downhill as another argument with Reed causes Peter to lash out, alluding to Sue Storm having left Reed for Namor, resulting in him getting slapped and walking out, quitting the job. Hoping to get a new job working with Professor Warren, he heads towards the lab just as a new Black Goblin attacks the lab, revealing clone tubes that the Professor had been keeping secret that contained clones of Norman Osborn, Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy. In a rage, Black Goblin unmasks himself and Peter, yelling about how Norman only ever cared for Peter and how Peter ruined his life.
In the end, it’s all too much for Harry as he destroys the tubes, killing “Gwen” and “Norman”, but leaving “Peter” alive. Warren, hysterical after his Gwen is killed, reveals that Peter’s Gwen was really a clone and the real Gwen was the one that died in the explosion, shocking everyone. Harry runs off and not too long after, Clone Gwen and Clone Pete get new identities and a new chance at life while real Peter is left alone, his life in shambles. No friends, no job, nothing, except for Mary Jane’s shoulder to cry on.
---------------------------------------------------
You know your life as a superhero is screwed up when The Punisher thinks you’ve turned to his side.
Runner Up: Daredevil #4 (Legacy #616) - Chip Zdarsky, Marco Checchetto, Sunny Gho and Clayton Cowles
Following his manhandling at the hands of Detective Cole North, an injured Daredevil is rescued by Frank Castle and whisked away to one of his secret hideouts. What follows is one of the most cathartic tear downs between two diametrically opposed heroes that I have read in a while.
Frank Castle is a broken man. He’s a Marine who witnessed the worst of war only to come home and see the worst of man as his family was gunned down, turning him into the murderous psychopath we know him to be. Matt Murdock is a guilty Catholic who has so much sin weighing on his heart that his only way to atone is by seeing the good in people and doing what he believes to be good, never killing any criminal he comes across.
Frank and Matt have fought each other or worked together for decades, always crossing paths that lead to the moral quandary of whether it’s wrong to kill or better to eliminate a problem altogether, but with Daredevil possibly having taken the life of a petty criminal, Frank sees this as Daredevil taking a step into the light.
Zdarsky does a great job at crafting his own Frank Castle/Daredevil dynamic, with Frank acting more judgemental of Daredevil than normal and it is perfect. He calls Daredevil a phony for portraying himself as a good guy all while breaking the law and criminals with glee on his face as he fights. Frank believes he’s always seen Daredevil for what he is, but that DD himself won’t give up the act and Matt only gets progressively more pissed off. Things reach a head after Frank kills a criminal that Matt coaxed him to let go of after he picks up a gun and tries to kill them. Matt breaks free of the restraints he was bound to and leaps at Frank in anger.
Checchetto really struts his stuff with the art this issue and shows improvement from the last time he drew these characters back when Greg Rucka was writing Punisher. The first fight has a lot of weight to it as strikes are made and things are thrown around in close, tight shots. The physicality of both Frank and Daredevil is ratcheted up to 11 as both men look to be in their peak forms, especially when Daredevil uses two pistols akimbo, showing Frank the damage that he could do if he decided to go Frank’s route and use guns. Daredevil would be near unstoppable and it shows. This might some of Checchetto’s best panel to panel work that I have ever seen as even the flat ones feel dynamic as hell.
In the end, Daredevil defeats Frank who muses at the thought of a Punishing Daredevil, a being much more effective than he ever could be. Matt knocks him out and saves him from the fire that their fight caused, telling us that becoming Frank is his greatest fear and that that’s what’s been preventing him from admitting to himself that he killed that criminal and that while he couldn’t bring him back to life, he could at least make things right by continuing his mission.
This is the Daredevil I love and seeing him finally let it out and admit that he’s not perfect and he will make mistakes, even grave ones is a breath of fresh air. I also loved that Frank wasn’t the powerhouse/unstoppable monster that he is pretty much everywhere else. (see The Punisher, War of the Realms: Punisher) Though, I do love these representations, it is good to see him low for a bit.
Zdarsky truly does it again, high recommend!
#comics#marvel#marvel comics#spiderman#peter parker#gwen stacy#miles warren#harry osborn#mary jane watson#the 70s#chip zdarsky#mark bagley#daredevil#punisher#matt murdock#frank castle#marco checchetto#sunny gho
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No longer friends // N;M
MY MASTERLIST
Request: if you are taking requests can you write a nick imagine where you two aren’t really dating but you guys know you like each other and he slaps your butt? Lol thanks!
“Nicholas, could you wait?” You snarled ��We’re not even late.”
You were trying to keep up with the big strides, your best friend Nick took.
You and Nick had a very different best-friend relationship. Both of you always argued or had many disagreements, but took care of each other. That’s just how your friendship worked.
“But we’re going to be late, if you don’t work your tiny legs” he scoffed, taking even bigger steps.
“Tiny?!” You hollered, still trying to close the distance a little bit between you two “You’re the one being 5”8! Zion looks like a tree beside you.”
“You’re 5”4, and Zion looks like a tree beside everyone” Nick insulted, still speeding up like he’s in a marathon.
“Slow down!” You warned, as your legs began to hurt.
The whole squad wanted to meet up. Brandon, Edwin, Austin, Zion, Tiffany, Nick and you wanted to be all together again and just chill out. Your best friend, Nick offered you to go together, and you agreed. But you wished you didn’t. All he said was, that y’all are going to be late, even though there were still 10 minutes left and the lounge wasn’t far away from your home. He was probably angry about something again, and let it all out on you.
Nick abruptly stopped in his tracks, and turned around to face you. You finally managed to keep up with him and tried to catch your breath.
Before you could try to breath like an healthy human being, he started to walk even faster. How could he walk so fast?
“Hell no!” You snapped, while you didn’t mind to keep up with him anymore “what’s wrong with you? I hate when you’re angry and let it all out on me.”
He stopped walking and turned around once again, taking steps towards you.
His eyes were narrowed, rigid, cold, hard. In that moment, you knew he was already far away, while only being a few inches in front of you. Once more, you was the enemy. These swings from most loved to most hated would be the end of you. There was no in between, he either loved or hated you.
You drew in a deep breath, the burning hard stare from him feeling like fire. He just scoffed, while speeding up again.
What was all that about? What is his problem? You didn’t do anything!
Both of you arrived at the lounge with a huge distance in between.
“Aye, look who came” Zion smiled, pulling you into a bear hug “ What took y’all so long?”
“Nothing important” you shook off with a hand gesture, looking over at Nick, who was now ignoring you.
After greeting everyone, all of you sat down on some comfortable coaches and ordered food and cold drinks.
You were sitting between Edwin and Tiffany. But the moment you sat down, you regretted it because they were all lovey dovey together, while you were in the middle of it.
You were deep in thought, until Tiffany elbowed you. “Girl, what’s going on with you and Nick. All he does is staring at you and you’re acting like you ain’t even here” she worried, resting a warm hand on your shoulder.
“I don’t know he’s acting completely weird. He’s not just bickering, but giving me such an intense gaze for a few weeks now” you confessed, crossing your arms and looking over at Nick, who had his gaze already on you. His look was unreadable and you sunk down lower in your seat.
Tiffany started laughing and shaking her head. You quickly spun your head toward her, giving her an awkward stare.
“What’s so funny?” You perplexed.
“Nothing. Just go talk to him” she told you with a knowing look.
Narrowing your eyes, you observed her. “You’re hiding something from me, but I ain’t got no time for that. I just wanna have fun right now” you hesitated and took a sip of your drink.
“Hennessy!!” Austin exclaimed, pulling out the big bottle. Your eyes widened in suprise.
“Austin, since when do you drink that hard stuff?” Brandon blurted, as he sat up.
“I don’t. But let’s all experience it together, it’s been a while since I drank some” He was happy like a little boy. Everybody shrugged and Edwin told the waitress to bring some glasses.
“I don’t know, mate” Brandon doubted.
“C’mon, B. Just for once, what could go wrong?” Zion encouraged him.
Hesitantly, he agreed. Before anyone could do something, Nick opened the bottle and poured himself some. Everybody looked at Nick in suprise. They knew that he was the most mature one, but never really saw Nick drinking.
You wrapped your manicured fingers around the glass, and you felt your heat leaching into the drink. You raised the glass to sip, feeling the keen bun in your tongue and throat.
After the first shots, everybody was fine and talking. The second round was okay, except for Tiffany, who was giggling all the time and sat down on Edwin’s lap.
After the third round, Zion, Brandon and you started wincing.
“I’m out, I can’t take no more” Tiffany, Edwin and Brandon called out.
After the fourth shots, Zion and Austin capitulated, and hugged each other.
You looked up, to lock your eyes with your best friend who’s on the opposite side.
“Don’t battle against me, Y/n/n. You’ll lose” he smirked, holding up the bottle.
“You wish, Nicholas” You slurred, snatching away the bottle out of his hand.
Pouring in two shots, he watched your every move.
“Let’s see what you can handle, Mara” You provoked, feeling the fire going down your throat, your eyes swivelling towards the back of your head in a distressed sense of a headache. You sighed as the walls become part of a fun house, changing figure in a blink of an eye. Your breath was the underlying cause of the smell of alcohol that entered your nostrils, and your mouth was sore from the amount of alcohol you drank. You cleared your throat as you stood up, just to fall back down on your butt in an unbalanced attempt to walk home.
Nick quickly stood up to help you. You gripped onto his body, he was holding your waist, while you rested your head on his shoulder.
He called an uber for everyone and waited until everyone was on their way home.
While he did that, you sat outside the lounge on a bank.
You stood up the moment you saw Nick coming outside. “Everybody’s on their way home. C’mon, I called an uber” he muttered, without any emotions in his voice. He walked away from you to go to the taxi.
“No” you frowned “First, I wanna know what’s wrong with you.”
He abruptly stopped, sighing. “Nothing’s wrong with me, let’s go now.” He wanted to leave again, but you couldn’t let him go without knowing what’s going on in his head.
You faced him, as you grabbed his arm with your cold hand.
That’s when you became sober, his emotions telling you he needed more of a connection with you. His eyes were so different from the ones you saw just a few hours ago, more soft. The aggressive, hating eyes were gone, and the loving and caring eyes were staring into yours. If you wouldn’t drank that much, you would drop your gaze, but with him you’re drawn in closer, always wanting more. Then he says the words you needed to hear, “I never thought that I would fall in love.”
You froze, mouth tearing apart. Before you could say anything, he placed his thumb on your plumb lips. He leaned down closer to you, and you felt yourself becoming closer.
“You don’t know for how long I wanted this to happen”, you said in barely more than a whisper.
“I think I can relate”, he replied, his voice low and husky.
“Show me” your voices wavers, exhilarated from the tension between both of you.
Your lips start to dry, as he gently leaned down and kissed your warm lips. You pulled apart and took shaky, shallow breaths. Unable to contain yourselves anymore, you held his head in your hands and pulled him into a fiery and passionate kiss.
His hands worked their way around your body, feeling each part, each line along your perfect physique. Nick’s hands ventured over your curved body and exploring, and before you could protest, he smacked your ass. You pulled apart and opened your eyes. Your face became crimson red, and you deeply stared at each other. His eyes full of wonder and love, yours full of curiosity and passion. You rested your forehead against his.
No words are spoken, but a story worthy of you is communicated.
————
(A/N) This is so trash, I’m sorry. But thanks for the request ☀️
#prettymuch#zion kuwonu#brandon arreaga#prettymuch imagine#edwin honoret#nick mara#austin porter#nick mara imagine#friends to lovers
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a night to regret
who? grace cardinal & vanessa morgan
where? a club & unknown location
when? june december 26th (when this bit of writing takes place) to june december 29th (endings to be described in separate self paras)
what? grace and vanessa go to a club to party, but end up being kidnapped by a rival gang.
trigger warnings? mild violence & kidnapping
Grace tugged her shorts up over her fishnet stockings before pulling a crop top over her bra. Adjusting her top, she glanced around her room before spotting her boots. She shoved her feet into them before hurrying out of her room. Her mom was home for now, resting, and she had a nurse that checked up on her, so Grace didn't feel bad as she grabbed her mom's keys and left out the front door. She drove until she spotted Vanessa on the sidewalk waiting for her. Pulling over, she smiled as the girl got into the passengers seat, "So, you ready to forget?" She sped off towards their destination, "This truly is the best time of the year, eh?" She joked.
Vanessa walked the block past Vince's cladded in a short black cocktail dress and heeled boots. Her tasseled to the side, she made her way to meet Grace at the pick up location. They needed this night out. Even if it was just to dance and get drunk. Vanessa, Grace included but for other reasons, just needed to get away from everything going on (and wrong) in their lives. Vanessa waved into the car once Grace had finally appeared. "Already forgetting," she joked backed. Making herself comfortable in the seat she turned to her friend with a smile, "Which means they'll be the best deals off the year. I hear it's ladies night!"
Grace laughed, glancing over at her friend, “Places still do ladies night?” She shook her head, taking the next turn towards the club, “I guess that means I have to be a lady tonight.” She joked, pulling into the parking lot. Finding a spot to park, she sat back for a moment and looked at her friend now, “You look amazing.” She smiled big before getting out of the car and going around the car to take Vanessa’s arm, “Alright. Let’s get me completely shitfaced. But not so much that I text someone I shouldn’t.” She giggled.
Vanessa "Uh, yeah! They have to find some way to make guys want to come," Vanessa grinned. She shook her head laughing as they pulled into the club area. "And you look great as always," she repeated back, linking her arm with her friend's. She knew it had been a rough couple of months for Grace and wanted to make sure she had the best night away from everything. "It's my friend's birthday! Can we get some tequila shots?" Vanessa yelled as the approached the bar. If there was one thing Vanessa knew, bars were always nicer if they thought it was a birthday.
Grace rolled her eyes, not really interested in guys right now, but she didn't really care who was here tonight. All that mattered was that she was with Vanessa and they were both pretending the outside world didn't exist. As the two giddily made their way into the club and towards the bar, she gave her friend a look, "Oh? Well, happy birthday me!" She laughed, happily taking a shot of tequila and holding it up to cheers, "To... always having each others backs, no matter what." It felt like she was growing distant from everyone she cared about, so she was planning to hold on to Vanessa as best she could. Grace brought the glass to her lips and tipped her head back, her face scrunching up in disgust as she swallowed, "Ugh gross. I need another." She laughed, reaching for another shot.
Vanessa "To us!" Vanessa cheered, clinging then glass with her friends. It took Vanessa a second to complete her shot, shots not really being her thing, before slamming it down on the hennessy," she grinned. She was thankful to have someone like Grace in her life. They were protective of each other, but always allowed the other the room to mess up and grow from things. That's why she always kept Grace around, Grace saw something in Vanessa she hadn't seen within herself. "Psst," she whispered, catching Grace's attention. "Your ten o'clock. James Dean over there keeps giving you the look."
Grace laughed, maybe downing a shot or two too many, definitely too quickly. It was apparent that the tequila was doing its job as Grace started to sway to the music, "I dunno what song this is, but I like it!" She grinned wide. Her eyes followed Vanessa's gaze and she shook her head, "Oh. Oh no no, no more guys for me. I'm pining after Jonah when he doesn't want me anymore, and Hunter kissed me and I liked it a lot. I'm a fucking mess." She snorted, but then her eyes landed on the guy again and she saw his grin, "Okay, he's hot." She shrugged nonchalantly.
Vanessa had pregamed a bit before getting her so it felt like that last Hennessy shot had really got to her. Her body felt calm and everything felt comfortable for the first time in a long time. She popped out of her euphoria for a moment hearing Grace's tale, grabbing another shot to process it all. "Okay first of all hate baby Hollingsworth, you can do better. Secondly, we're not thinking of anyone from outside these walls tonight. You don't hear me out here pinning over Eli right?" She paused realizing her name drop, "You didn't hear that. Come on let's dance! Show James Dean over there what he's missing out on if he doesn't buy us a drink!"
Grace smirked, "You hate Hunter? Not surprising." She giggled, realizing the boy could be pretty annoying if you didn't know him well enough. Her eyes widened and she grabbed Vanessa's arm, "Wait, Eli?! What? I'm so... What???!" She shook her head in shock, "But.." Grace blinked a few times before she looked around and sneakily stole a shot from the people beside them. Downing the liquid, she nodded, "Alright. Fine." She rolled her eyes and pulled Vanessa into the crowd with her. As they danced, she noticed more than one set of male eyes on them and her eyebrows furrowed with curiosity, "Do we look dumb or something? Why are there so many staring?"
Vanessa "But if we're being honest I hate most elite rich kids at this place, so it makes no difference," Vanessa shrugged. She chewed on the inside of her lip before finally answering. "He's... interesting," Vanessa smiled, not truly knowing the status of Eli and Grace since their kiss. Once they were in the middle of the dance floor, Vanessa felt all her inhibitions floating away as her hips swayed to the music. She didn't stop her dancing on account of Grace's comment. "Not to toot my own horn, but I am pretty hot," Vanessa laughed, her eyes following where Grace was looking. "They probably don't have the confidence to come up to us so they think staring is a better option," Vanessa answered, not thinking too much of the eyes. "You're hot. I'm hot. Don't pay them any mind. You're gonna make me enjoy this buzz alone?"
Grace "I get it. Rich people suck." She snorted. Her eyebrows rose, but she said nothing more about Eli. Her eye was on Jonah and that was it. She lazily danced to the music, her eyes closing halfway as she twirled in more ways than one. A laugh fell from her mouth, "Obviously you're hot." Grace eyed a few of the men, things spinning a little too much for her to really see their faces, especially with how dark it was, "Do.... Does.... He looks familiar, right?" She questioned, both herself and Vanessa, "One, I am not hot. Two, I am very much enjoying."
Vanessa nodded, not wanting to dwell on her distain for the Hollingsworths for too long. "Miles' isn't too bad," she shrugged. Her laugh turned into a loud giggle hearing Grace's confirmation. "Real recognize real," she grinned. Before she could say anything, one of the guys that was with Grace's admirer brought Vanessa a drink just calling her beautiful and walking away. She didn't waste anytime sipping on it, offering some off to Grace. "See I'm hot," she teased. Vanessa continued to drink trying to figure out where Grace was exactly looking. "Does who look familiar?" her eye sight was a little fuzzy, she blamed on the tequila shots as she scanned the room. "The only person I know here is you, and you are hot. You literally have two guys, one super attractive and the other rich, pining after you. They're not with you for your expert computer skills, babe."
Grace cringed when Vanessa said Miles wasn't too bad. She definitely didn't see him in that kind of way. A smile brightened her features when Vanessa was brought a drink, gladly taking sips from it, "Damn, must be nice getting free stuff just for your looks." She teased. It felt as though her eyes were beginning to droop even more and she was starting to lose her train of thought, "Uuhhh... Nevermind. Drunk mind is seeing things." She shrugged, laughing it off. Grace felt herself stumble a little as she danced, lightly catching herself against Vanessa, "No. Jonah doesn't want me. He's moving on. Probably as we speak. With Esme. Or Frankie. Or maybe even Clare! They're all in beautiful Aspen together, sexing it up and forgetting aaalll about me." She grumbled, fumbling in her pocket till she got her phone and incoherently texted as she half danced, half swayed about in the crowd.
Vanessa "It's exhausting honestly. Having to be fake nice to people and then having to deal with their drunk asses at the end of the night is not as fun as a free drink. Thankfully, I have you hear to pummel any creep who tries to take me home," Vanessa's voice trailed. As Vanessa continued to spin with the music, she could feel her head becoming hazy but she concluded it down to her excessive spinning. However she felt so free and weightless in this moment she didn't want to fight it anymore. "Uh, ew. There's so many things w-wrong with that. Frankie's like twelve, Esme's too busy shoving her tongue down Tiny's throat and Clare... Well she's too innocent. Too boring if you ask me," she replied, stuttering a bit in the middle. "Do you honestly think they're all there worried about "sexing it up"? If you were away from Toronto, you would not be worried about those who came with you." Vanessa finished the drink, dropping it on one of the nearby tables. Once she returned to Grace, she rolled her eyes snatching the phone out of her hands. "Nope! It's Girl's Night remember? No drunk booty calls."
Grace snorted, "Me? Pummel someone? I mean, for you, I'd try." She smiled lazily. Her eyes kept wandering around, partially cause everything was spinning, but also because she kept looking for that familiar face. She really did recognize someone, though she couldn't figure out how. Trying to focus back on her friend, she shrugged, "Jonah is gorgeous, those girls must be all over him. And are you kidding me?! We're teenagers, of course we're worried about each other and sex and hormones and.... all that stuff!" She pouted, trying to get her phone back, "No booty call, I promise. It was Jonah, he was texting me back!" Grace looked at her friend and stopped fighting for her phone, "I'm pathetic. I see it now." Sighing loudly, she started to lean toward her friend, "I drank too much." She mumbled.
Vanessa giggled, "Yeah we both know I'm the muscles behind this operation." Vanessa scanned the room one more time, seeing parts of it becoming more crowded and other parts becoming more spacious. She reluctantly handed the raven haired girl her phone back, shaking her head. "I'm not worried about that," she shrugged, grabbing onto her friend's hand. She moved through the crowd, finding one of the empty corners to talk to her friend in. Even in her drunken state, Vanessa still managed to go into Mom mode. "Hey, hey you're not pathetic. We can leave if you want? Uber to my place, keep drinking there, and then we'll come get your car in the morning. Sound good?" As she spoke, one of the men from earlier offered to wait outside with them so they weren't stranded in the dark. "Come on, Grace, I'll call it and we can wait outside," she spoke, not even acknowledging the man who came near them.
Grace smiled giddily as Vanessa handed her phone back to her, despite the fact that she could barely read a damn thing on the phone at the moment. She let her friend take her hand, tripping along behind her, "Where are we going??" She glanced around, not even seeing faces anymore. Almost running right into Vanessa because she wasn't paying attention, she came to a stop and looked her friend in the eye, "I'm ruining the night, aren't I? Dammit, I'm sorry! I want you to have fun, and I wanna have fun with you, I swear!" Grace jumped when the random man spoke to them, giving him a look, "Stranger danger, no thanks." Quickly, she focused back on Vanessa, "Okay, yeah. We'll have fun on our own. I promise." Looping her arm with the other girls, they headed towards the exit. A man bumped into her and caused her to stumble, "Excuse you. Jeez." She murmured, shaking her head. The man kept close to them, though, rather than walking away, which made some distant part in Grace's mind worry.
Vanessa "No, no. The night is less than over. I just don't like the ways those creeps keep staring at us," Vanessa pointed out. She tried to keep her mind focus on everything but her vision was going in and out. The voices around her starting to blur. She quickly shook her head, reminding herself to have water when she got home. There was no one outside once the pair got out, causing some nervousness through Vanessa. She pulled her phone out, almost laughing to herself, "Damn what's my phone number?" Before she could have told Siri to put in her address, Vanessa felt a pull at her sides. "I can get you home," the voice called from behind her ear. In her drunken state the words felt comfortable as shellacked along with the body. How much did she drink? "Come on Grace, let's go home,' she grinned nodding her friend to follow along. The man's hand snaked around Vanessa as three more men followed closely behind Grace. "If you scream, we'll kill her right here," the whispered into Grace's ear.
Grace When the two got outside, Grace focused on her phone and her texts between her and Jonah. She didn't realize other people had come outside with them until she heard a voice. Looking up, she could barely make out their faces, and as she shook her head no, the world began to turn. She stumbled, almost falling over, but one of the guys caught her and started ushering her along, "No, V." She mumbled, looking down at her phone to try and continue her text to Jonah, tell him something was wrong, but the man pulling her along grabbed her phone from her. Grace tried to grab for it, finding herself to be too weak from whatever she had drank, and the strangers words didn't help. Not wanting to test his words, she kept her mouth shut as the two were brought to a van and pushed inside, "Vanessa, I-" She was cut off by the feeling a hand at the back of her neck, squeezing. It was definitely a warning and Grace obeyed.
Vanessa's mind didn't think too much of what was going on. She wasn't forced into the van, more guided into it would be a better way to phrase it. She tried to lay down in the van, but felt a pull on her wrist strapping them together. "W-what the?" Vanessa whispered trying to free her wrist. Her head perked up looking up at Grace attempting to say her name. Her eyes wide, but her body unable to fight off what was going on. Before she could say anything back she noticed them grabbing on to Grace and knew better to speak. Vanessa took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening.
Grace grit her teeth as rope was tied firmly around her wrists, connecting them and rendering her unable to use her hands. Closing her eyes, she took in a deep breath, really wishing she were sober right now. When she opened her eyes, she saw the look of worry and fear on Vanessa’s face. She nodded once, slowly, trying to convey that everything would be okay. Just a moment after, the two girls were blindfolded, so they didn’t see where they were being taken. Her breathing had become shaky and she was trying her hardest not to pass out from all the drinks she’d had. Grace wasn’t sure how long it’d been before the car finally came to a stop. She felt a hand on her arm, pulling her out of the vehicle and leading her into a building. Her blindfold was pulled off and she swayed with dizziness as her eyes adjusted as best they could, “Welcome to your hell, ladies.” Her eyes landed on the man who had spoken, “What the hell do you want with us?!” The man looked to another in the room and nodded, which prompted the other man to slap her across the face, “You will speak only when I say you can.” Her jaw set, but she stayed quiet.
Vanessa had to remember back to her father trying to prepare her for this. She was to keep her mouth shut, get inventory of the place, and someone would come to get here, if all else fails fight like Hell. Her father's words ringing in her head as the blindfold was pressed roughly onto her eyelids and forcing out of the van. Vanessa was forced down on her knees as the blindfold was pulled away. She looked over to Grace, trying to show she was alright until she saw Grace getting smack. She quickly fixed her face turning to the men surrounding them. There had to be six or seven directly near them and about four adjacent at each exit. "Now you can either give us the location to your warehouse or spend the week with us. I'm sure the boys will find a nice way to get you talking or screaming, which ever comes first," the guy in the front spoke. Vanessa took a deep breath, "Do your worst." She couldn't 't be afraid, not now, especially not that they were trying to get to her father's place. At her words her head was pushed into the floor a ringing noise in her ear and she felt a dripping of blood on her temple.
Grace heard the mans demand, but she knew better than to talk. She definitely hadn't been in the life as long as Vanessa, that much was true, but she had learned more than enough within the past year. Lifting her chin, she said nothing and looked defiantly at the men around her before glancing to Vanessa. She only flinched a little when they hurt her friend, not wanting to show the affect this had on her, "Separate them." Grace's head flew around to look at the lead man once again, clenching her teeth in anger. The last thing she wanted was for them to not be together during this. She was grabbed by the arm and she fought violently to get away, refusing to leave Vanessa alone, but she was thrown to the ground, not able to catch herself with her hands tied. One of the men kicked her in the stomach, causing a rush of air to leave her body, "Now get the fuck up and do as you're told." Struggling to get herself up, the man nearest to her gripped her arm and heaved her to her feet. Looking back at Vanessa, she gave her a serious look, willing her friend to be strong, before she was dragged into the next room.
to be continued....
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Episode 117 : Rockin' Steady
"...and though the flag been tattered and beaten..."
- General Steele
The short month of the year puts a little pressure on the recording schedule, but the show is here on time for you as always. Once again, we feature the sounds of J Dilla, Big Pun, and Big L, alongside plenty of other great stuff - and we keep the same speed going all the way through the mix!
Shows coming up;
Sadat X & El Da Sensei @ Joshua Brooks, March 20th
GZA @ Gorilla, Manchester, April 9th
Twitter : @airadam13
Playlist/Notes
EPMD ft. KRS-ONE : Run It
We start the episode with an all-NYC, all-uppercase collaboration from the "We Mean Business" LP, the seventh in EPMD's industrially-titled discography. A nod to LL on the hook, stick-up business over an Erick Sermon beat (of course), with KRS playing clean-up man flawlessly. Favourite part of the verse - real 'G's do indeed want to stay at home and read the paper.
Jay Dee : Another Batch - 11
One of a bunch of late-90s Dilla beats that got leaked onto the internet back in the day, this one smacks along with a bassline that comes through like a funky duck! I don't know if anyone ever rhymed on this, but I can imagine someone like De La doing great things with it.
Chuck D ft. Jahi : BOT
I don't know if it was intentional, but this track seems to call back to two tracks from the legendary "...Nation of Millions..." album; "She Watch Channel Zero?" ("she looking at the screen more than talking to me") and also "Night of the Living Baseheads" ("battery on low, look like fiends with a Jones"). Chuck D might have been one of the very first in Hip-Hop to catch onto the Internet, but the elder statesman sees the BS it's brought us as well! He combines here with the lead MC in the group known as "PE 2.0" to get it all off his chest, and he's got plenty more to say on the new "Celebration Of Ignorance" album.
Black Thought : 9th vs. Thought
No-one can accuse Black Thought of not being a team player, with it taking until 2018 before we saw a solo release from him, the "Streams of Thought Vol.1" EP. 9th Wonder was the producer for the project, and on this track he gets headline billing. Fans of top-flight lyricism are in for a treat here, as the MC of choice for many MCs shows his skill level in a major way.
Boot Camp Clik : World Wide
Serious track from the Brooklyn stalwarts, uniting on 2006's "The Last Stand". I absolutely love General Steele's opening verse, from which this month's epigram is taken, and then it's followed with the late, great Sean P just thugging it all the way out on the second verse! They go out of the immediate crew for production, tapping up Large Professor for a head-nodding beat that easily could have made for a fire single. Not the best-known tune maybe, but a tune that is big by nature!
Big L : Don't Front (Freestyle)
Short and powerful like a shot of rum, this is a concise taste of Big L's legendary freestyle aggression over a smooth 90s beat from Diamond's "You Can't Front".
Slum Village : Go Ladies (Instrumental)
One of my favourite Dilla beats easily, as heard on the "Fantastic, Vol.2" album, flipping a well-known 80s soul sample and somehow making it even better than you could have imagined. It's only when you listen back to what else was coming out around that time you can hear how much of a shock to the system a laid-back groove like this was.
Donnie : Cloud 9 (Spinna Mix)
If you enjoy soulful music, Donnie's 2002 debut "The Colored Section" should definitely be in your collection. "Cloud 9" was one of the standouts, and DJ Spinna puts some extra bump into it on this remix, which is on a nice 12" release. His bass style is so distinctive, and with so much of the beat being in the lower frequency range, it leaves plenty of room for Donnie's masterful vocals!
Foreign Exchange : Hustle, Hustle
There are plenty of great tracks on "Connected", the debut Foreign Exchange album, and I was sure I'd already played this - glad to find out I hadn't, as it was the perfect fit for this slot! Nicolay's beat is smooth on that kind of early-2000s, neo-soulish vibe, and then you have lyrical treats coming from every angle. Quartermaine and C.A.L.I.B.E.R spit bars about trying to get ahead in the world, and Phonte comes in beautifully on the hook, in a fairly early demonstration of his singing talent. I don't blame you if you find yourself humming this one on the way to work.
Kev Brown : Hold Fast
One of the great bassline masters in Hip-Hop, Kev Brown certainly put Landover (MD) on the map with his top-quality "I Do What I Do" album. He's just as solid on the mic, and takes the reins alone on this track from the second half of the LP. Scratches are credited to DJ PMD, who is not Parrish Smith, but in fact Peter Rosenberg (who hails from the same area) under his original DJ name!
Jermaine Dupri ft. Snoop Dogg, Warren G, and R.O.C : Protectors of 1472
Unless there's some other, non-publicised significance to the number 1472, the "Life In 1472" album has one of the most contrived titles of all time! I don't actually have the album, but this DJ Premier-produced cut is on a compilation of his rarer/lesser-known cuts. I cut this one fairly short, as I think you get the best of it in a compact dose - the last verse is by far the longest, but Snoop towards the front is the clear headliner.
J Dilla : Won't Do (Instrumental)
Classic Dilla from towards the end, based around the "Footsteps In The Dark" drums, with fragments of the vocal yelling out for help along the way. The vocal version is on "The Shining" LP, but for this instrumental, you may need to pick up the 7" boxset of the album (or the MP3 version), which contains instrumentals for every track!
Sadat X ft. Timmy Hunter : Neva
The three-bar loop makes mixing a bit tricky, but I really wanted to play this one! Sadat looks back over his life and career, and celebrates his own effort and self-belief - justifiably so. Diamond D provides the beat, as he does all the way through the "Sum Of A Man" album. It's been a long road since that first LP with Brand Nubian, but Sadat is still travelling it, and for that we should be thankful :)
Dabrye ft. Jay Dee and Phat Kat : Game Over
That beat will definitely do things on a big sound system. Sparse, menacing, insistent. Ann Arbor's Dabrye takes no prisoners on the production, and then pulls in his fellow Michiganders Jay Dee and Phat Kat, who just spit raw Detroit flames in the space the beat leaves! The 2006 "Two/Three" album is one for anyone who likes the more angular, awkward, and aggressive style of production.
Clear Soul Forces : Continue?
I've been saving the combination of this and "Game Over" for ages :) CSF's 2013 "Gold PP7s" is an essential album for anyone who thinks they don't make MCs like they used to - it should give you faith for the future! I can't even keep up with all the gaming, comic, and anime references that they just firehose you with, but the spirit is undeniable. Ilajide's videogame-styled beat bumps hard, and overall this is just one of those tracks I can't see any reason for anyone not to love!
C2C ft. Tigerstyle, Netik, Rafik, Vajra, Kentaro : Le Banquet
Here we have an all-star lineup of scratch DJs, liquefying their crossfaders one after another as the featured instrumentalists on this track from the "Tetra" album. If you listen closely, there are actually some quotes from "Game Over" in the mix - they sound like vocoded re-records, but they could well be heavily-manipulated samples...
J Dilla : Dillatronic 09
One more Dilla instrumental as we come towards the end, this time taken from the "Dillatronic" collection of beats, a posthumous collection of 41 pieces - many very short - from the MPC of the man himself.
Noreaga ft. Nature, Big Pun, Cam'ron, Jadakiss, and Styles P : Banned From TV
Late 90s thug styles, and the kind of triumphant sound that either had to start or finish the episode. Nature was the original guest on here, but while almost everyone else was invited on, Big Pun bullied his way onto the track! While everybody comes off, the true gems on this tune are towards the front - Nature's memorable opening line, and Pun's devastating verse. The Swizz Beatz production is a perfect snapshot of the keyboard-based beats of the era - the "horns" should be corny, but somehow they work in context, and the kick/basstone combo bangs! Classic Berra-ism from Nore on the last verse too - if it's with tomato juice, then it can't be Hennessy straight...
Please remember to support the artists you like! The purpose of putting the podcast out and providing the full tracklist is to try and give some light, so do use the songs on each episode as a starting point to search out more material. If you have Spotify in your country it's a great way to explore, but otherwise there's always Youtube and the like. Seeing your favourite artists live is the best way to put money in their pockets, and buy the vinyl/CDs/downloads of the stuff you like the most!
Check out this episode!
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off the rack #1195
Monday, January 8, 2017
I gave it the old college try but I was thwarted again from catching up on all the comic books that I wanted to read last week by life's little events. My Dad's 85th birthday meant an evening out with family. Spent most of one day off cleaning the whole house in the aftermath of Christmas being put away for another year. One extra loading and unloading of stuff to take to the monthly Capital Trade Show because I was flying solo for this one took part of another day. Penny came to help and keep me company yesterday at the beginning and the end of the trade show. Thanks to our neighbour vendor Chris for helping me load up after the show. This week has us dealing with our cars having to be serviced. Penny's Soul has to go in for a recall. The ever ominous "service engine soon" light came on the dashboard display of my X-Trail yesterday. The transmission didn't engage a couple of times but I managed to get it going by adjusting the stick shift. I hope it's just the extreme cold of the last week that's causing the problem. I hope I get a bit of alone time to read more this week. Here are comments of the few that I got to.
Phoenix Resurrection #1 - Matthew Rosenberg (writer) Leinil Francis Yu (pencils) Gerry Alanguilan (inks) Rachelle Rosenberg (colours) VC's Travis Lanham (letters). The gang's all here. I still read Astonishing X-Men so I recognised that team and I figure the other two teams are Blue and Gold. Correct me if I'm wrong. So they're bringing back Jean Grey/Phoenix again just in time for the spring release of the movie starring Sophie Turner better known as Sansa Stark from Game of Thrones. There's enough mystery here to keep me reading but I have issues with all-powerful beings and wonder if we need another super human on the racks right now. This 5-issue mini comes out weekly so I will be able to decide whether it's good enough to read the whole story very quickly.
Batman and the Signal #1 - Scott Snyder & Tony Patrick (story) Tony Patrick (writer) Cully Hamner (art) Laura Martin (colours) Deron Bennett (letters). This 3-issue mini lets the Signal shine solo as he tries to figure out where his powers come from. I'm not familiar with Duke but I've seen him fight alongside Batman before. DC is probably hoping that his partnership with Batman will help sell this but here we have another young super hero fighting young super villains. I predict Signal will get into deep trouble and then find a way to win the day. The art would be the only reason that I would read the rest of this story.
Rogue & Gambit #1 - Kelly Thompson (writer) Pere Perez (art) Frank D'Armata (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). This 5-issue mini takes the two off again romantic partners on a mission to save other mutants. The art is very nice and the last page got me good. I'm going to read the next issue to see what happens next.
The Snagglepuss Chronicles #1 - Mark Russell (writer) Mike Feehan (pencils) Mark Morales (inks) Paul Mounts (colours) Dave Sharpe (letters). The art got me to pick this off the rack to read with it's mix of human and anthropomorphised animals walking around on two legs. The only thing I recall about the old Hanna Barbera cartoon was Snagglepuss's voice. It sounded snooty to me. The one in this 6-issue mini would sound snooty too since he's a big time playwright. The story takes place in the late 1940s when the government was going after communist sympathisers in the entertainment industry. There are a couple of surprise twists that make this worth reading even if you were never a fan of the cartoon character.
Dark Nights: Hawkman Found #1 - Jeff Lemire (writer) Bryan Hitch (pencils) Kevin Nowlan (inks) Alex Sinclair & Jeremiah Skipper (colours) Clayton Cowles (letters). I thought that I was done reading any more Dark Night books but then I saw the creative team on this one-shot and had to see what's up with Hawkman these days. I really enjoyed reading this book. They captured the warrior spirit of Carter Hall very well. I was disappointed by the Groundhog Day twist at the end however. As a fan of Jeff, Bryan and Kevin, this book was a blast to read but it didn't make me want to reach for more Dark Night books.
Jessica Jones #15 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Michael Gaydos (art) Matt Hollingsworth (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). The return of the Purple Man has a great twist that you don't want to miss. If you've watched the first season of the TV show you will get added enjoyment from having a deeper insight into the relationship between Jessica and Killgrave.
Action Comics #994 - Dan Jurgens (writer & pencils) Art Thibert, Trevor Scott, Johnny Desjardins & Joe Prado (inks) Hi-Fi (colours) Rob Leigh (letters). Ugh, I can't wait for Booster Gold's guest appearance in this book to be over. In order for this time travel snafu story to have any emotional impact Dan has to make Superman act in a stupid and selfish way. Any hero should know better than to mess with time, but no, Superman MUST find the answers he seeks. That bothers me a lot.
Moon Knight #190 - Max Bemis (writer) Jacen Burrows (pencils) Guillermo Ortego (inks) Mat Lopes (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). Crazy Runs in the Family part 3. I really like how Moon Knight's multiple personalities are interacting with each other in Marc's head. The reintroduction of an old supporting character and the surprise twist on the last page gave me that "what a great comic book" chuckle.
Batman #38 - Tom King (writer) Travis Moore (pencils & inks) Giulia Brusco (colours) Clayton Cowles (letters). This one is a mind bender. Batman flexes his detective's muscles as he solves a serial murder case. The fisherman in me loved all the red herrings.
Invincible Iron Man #595 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Stefano Caselli & Alex Maleev (art) Marte Gracia & Alex Maleev (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). The Search for Tony Stark part 3. We're getting closer to finding Tony but meanwhile the Infamous Iron Man has problems with the Hood and RiRi has problems with the board of directors of Stark Industries. It's all very entertaining.
The Demon: Hell is Earth #2 - Andrew Constant (writer) Brad Walker (pencils) Andrew Hennessy (inks) Chris Sotomayor (colours) Tom Napolitano (letters). Jeepers, this is awesome sauce. Not only is the art incredibly nice to look at but the writing is so much fun. I like this Etrigan and Jason Blood pairing. One of the things that made this evil demon character appealing to me was how Jason could control him somewhat. Things have changed between them now and it makes their relationship more interesting. I am definitely going to read the rest of this 6-issue mini.
Punisher: The Platoon #4 - Garth Ennis (writer) Goran Parlov (art) Jordie Bellaire (colours) Rob Steen (letters). I know that Frank survives this story but I am also hoping the young Vietnamese guerrilla fighter makes it through the war alive too. She's a great character and I keep wondering when she and Frank will meet.
Superman #38 - Peter J. Tomasi & Patrick Gleason (writers) Sergio Davila (pencils) Vicente Cifuentes (inks) Gabe Eltaeb (colours) Rob Leigh (letters). Super Sons of Tomorrow part 4. I am assuming that future Tim Drake/Batman changes into a character named Savior in the Teen Titans tie-in. I don't care how that happened so I'm not going to read that tie-in. All I now is that he's bad and his team mates in the future Titans show up to help the kids and Jon's dad. I can't wait for this time travel story to conclude in Super Sons #12 which hits the racks January 17.
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What would your Masters Champions dinner menu be?
The reigning Masters winner picks the Champions Dinner menu. What would you serve?
Since 1952, the Tuesday of Masters week has meant one thing. All the previous Masters champions who are able to get together meet in a room and eat a meal. The catch is the most recent winner gets to set the menu.
Danny Willett’s meal this year is a decidedly British affair, featuring Yorkshire pudding, a Sunday roast, and cottage (not shepherd’s) pie.
Champions dinner by Yorkshire http://pic.twitter.com/H2uMSE2sZR
— Danny Willett (@Danny_Willett) April 4, 2017
The Augusta National kitchen is renowned for being able to make anything, and there’ve been some funny meals through the years. After Tiger Woods’ 1997 Masters triumph, he served cheeseburgers. Bernhard Langer served Wiener schnitzel in 1986. Adam Scott served Moreton Bay bugs from his native Australia.
Although we here at SB Nation are of varying degrees of golfing prowess, we could all envision a scenario in which we have won the Masters and could therefore set the menu for the meal.
Here are my selections for appetizer, main course, and dessert, and I also posed the question to the rest of our staff: what would you choose if you got a chance to pick the Masters Champions Dinner?
Some people went bad and boujee.
Joe Ali, a member of our video team, would serve escargot as an appetizer.
“I'm sophisticated but not too sophisticated,” my fellow college football writer, Alex Kirshner, said. “I want everyone to know I'm civilized (hence the duck salad), but don't take myself too seriously (hence the breaded provolone wedges). Baked Alaska seems like something country club members would like.” Alex is also serving steak and twice-baked potatoes.
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Our editor in chief, Elena Bergeron, went with oysters (Kumamoto and Louisiana gulf), steamed king crab, and boiled crawfish to give things a distinctive, high-class Bayou feel.
“This meal is the epitome of class and luxury IMO,” she said. “Also, gout seems a good outcome for this dinner/setting.”
Of course I asked our resident foodies for their opinions.
Dan Rubenstein is one of our resident talking heads, and he’d take us out West. Arizona-style cheese crisps with tableside guacamole preparation and homemade salsas to dress said crisps, Taco feast (grilled carne asada, an al pastor spit), grilled and fried seafood (fish, shrimp, octopus) and assorted cobblers and pies: blueberry, peach, apple, and key lime options aplenty, with a la mode availability.
Dan’s taco feast came with options and a DIY feel to it for a more customized meal for attendees.
Sonia Chopra is the managing editor of Vox Media’s food site, Eater.com. She’s also an Atlanta native who gets what the Masters means: Pimento cheese and crackers, Pimento cheese sandwiches, and a Pimento cheese plate (“cheese boards are a dessert course, okay?”).
“There is literally no better food out there, sorry.”
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Dayana Sarkisova works on our social media squad, and has her own recipe blog. Her appetizer selection harkens back to her family’s Russian roots: “Russian holodets. Cow hooves are cleaned and boiled down until you're left with a thick broth, which is then left to set into a jelly with chunks of meat from the hooves. You eat it with spicy mustard and a shot of vodka.”
Others went with extreme comfort food.
Two people on our staff went with Southern fast food in the form of Popeyes chicken tenders. Another had a dessert of Bojangles’ Bo-Berry biscuits. Tyler Tynes, a fellow writer, rolled with Hennessy as dessert because Augusta National’s incredible wine cellar obviously isn’t enough for him.
My intrepid college football editor, Jason Kirk, has a Pizza Hut motif going on. Pizza Hut P'Zones, Pizza Hut grilled cheese stuffed crust, and Pizza Hut Hershey's Chocolate Dunkers.
“I am the golf king, so you must eat Pizza Hut.”
Price is never an option at Augusta National, but thankfully there’s a Pizza Hut about 10 miles away from the club, and obviously they deliver.
Some people are much more inclined to mix class with a more down-home approach.
Louis Bien, an associate editor, would start out with Apple Jacks cereal but follow that up with a French stew called cassoulet and banana pudding like me.
“I feel like Apple Jacks would be a nice amuse-bouche before the heavy lifting of a true Toulouse cassoulet. I would swim in banana pudding if I could. This is seriously my death row last meal.”
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And finally, others just wanted to watch the world burn.
Writer Charlotte Wilder would start with Hot Pockets, SpaghettiOs with a crumbling of pepperoni Combos as a garnish, and 10 Mrs. Fields cookies per person. She declined to expound on her meal choice.
Bill Connelly, our resident analytics czar of college football, is just here to ruin everyone’s green jackets. Wings and barbecue egg rolls. Brisket and ribs. Corn on the cob on the side. Ice cream and brownies with hot fudge and peanut butter sauce.
“Honestly, I was just looking for something as messy as humanly possible,” he said. “I like when people in expensive suits have to lick their fingers and drip stuff.”
Brittany Cheng, an artist on our social media team, would like to use the dinner as an opportunity to stunt on you, with a bed of cooked spinach, a block of tofu and some quinoa, and two yellow Starbursts.
“I want everyone to bask in misery after losing to me, in addition to not enjoying any food at my coronation dinner.”
Our resident food masochist, James Dator, went with this: A single plum floating in perfume served in a man's hat, three different flavors of ramen cooked together in Milwaukee's Best beer, and a Milky Way bar that's been put in the freezer.
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“I want people to be utterly confused by a high-concept appetizer I stole from ‘The Simpsons,’” James said, “and then brought back down to earth with the real-life dish I made in college. It's the worst thing I ever ate, so other people should experience it too. Dessert is just a frozen candy bar, because they're delightful.”
Have your own suggestion for the dinner? We’d love to read them, feel free to put it in the comments.
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