#cassius is such a bitch but like also so smart

[something-random18]

[rosetheex-editor]

[Audio transcript start.]

[The transcript begins with the sound of crickets, someone can be heard walking back and forth as a phone starts ringing. The ringtone is identified as the song "Killer queen." the phone keeps ringing until there is a beep.]

?: Hello, hello hello?

[Voice identified: Ness.]

?: HEYYYY!!!

[Voice identified: Ophelia.]

[In the background of the other end, there seems to be slightly muffled club music, and someone crying. The crying person does not seem to be Ophelia.]

O: Ness! It’s been so long!

Ne: It's been like… A week and a half, plus I still contact you when I can… Just been busy with uh, a fucked up forearm.

O: Aw, yeah. Ignore the music, I’m out right now. I’m in the women's bathroom at a club! Where are you?

Ne: Apartment parking lot… Ok that's a lie. Cemetery… Definitely not the one in Philly.

O: Okay! I dunno what significance any of that has to you, but I remember killing a few people there once. Speaking of! Well, kinda, uh. Hm.

Ne: First. I come to the cemetery to clear my head sometimes… Talk to the graves, it's calming. And what's up?

[Ness takes a deep breath, preparing for the response.]

O: So! We got this call for a job… it’s a little ways out of Lostfield, and I need a bit of help, so…

Ne: You want me to help?

O: Exactly! You’re so smart girlie, that's why I called you! I have some details ready if you want ‘em!

Ne: Sure but first, do I still get one free murder job?

[Ness laughs, clearly joking.]

O: I’ll see what I can do! But anyway, the reason I need help with this one is because this jackass hired bodyguards. Fucking bodyguards! Talk about paranoid, amiright?

Ne: So what do you need me to do? Kill em? Suck the-

[Ness is cut off by the wind.]

O: That’s Cass’ thing, man.

Ne: I was… Joking. But ok.

O: Oh, well. Either way. You up for the task? Wait, I forgot to tell you what we were even doing! Sorry! I’ve had many drinks. This isn’t a hit! We’re grabbing the bitch and masking him.

Ne: C- christ… Can I get blackout drunk? I'll pay for my drinks just like… Being sad and in pain is a bitch so.

O: Mmm… sorry girl, but I can’t let ya do that. You’re underaged.

Ne: So killing and kidnapping is fine but you draw the line at underaged drinking?

O: Exactly! You catch on really fast! You can have… mayyyybe one drink. But that’s a big maybe. Got it?

Ne: Fine.

O: Another thing, uh. I think you’ll want to know who else is going.

Ne: If I'm helping… [Aside.] Hell this could be my first of many PR jobs. [Front.] Yeah I'd like to know.

O: Okay! [Clears throat.] So… Adelia, Becky, Naomi, Irene, Bianca… Um. Eden. And…

Ne: I thought that was all the girls? Cuz like… I'm assuming you also called me for girls night?

O: Haha… about that. Um. So we… uh.

[Ness sighs.]

Ne: Did Cassius get pissy because we ended up in the bahamas?

O: No, he thought that was funny as shit, uh. We don’t do jobs like these without him, I think you’ll find out why when we get there.

Ne: As long as he keeps Rose and Edgar's names out of his fucking mouth we'll be fine.

O: I can’t promise that. He enjoys riling you up.

Ne: Ophelia. I will bring my dads sawed off shotgun and shoot him in the fucking head. Or get blackout drunk to put up with him.

O: Girl, please don’t do either of those. I’ll… tell him that he needs to tone it down for friday.

Ne: Thank you… Genuinely thank you.

O: Bring a nice outfit, by the way! We can’t have you looking like a mess while the rest of us are dressed up!

Ne: I'll uh… Put on one of the dresses we bought. And uh… I'll buy makeup I guess.

O: OMG! Wait do you want one of us to help you with it?

Ne: Sure? I uh… Seeing as I've only ever worked at an auto mechanics and the pizzeria, not like I've ever had a chance to wear makeup.

O: EEEEEE! OMG I can’t wait! You’ll look amazing, Ness.

Ne: Thanks, I uh… Still don't fully trust you guys, but it's uh… Yeah, nice to have at least one other person to talk to that doesn't make fun of me.

O: Aw, they make fun of you? That’s so mean. You’re safe with us, girl. Maybe not Eden, but the rest of us.

Ne: No no… Just… Well… People I can talk to that kinda get me… After sarah and mari went missing, I've really only talked to. Henry, edgar, rose, Katherine. Yeah those are like… The only people I've talked to well enough. You seem to get me and not make fun of me for being… Weird, I've only had like… 3 female, technically 2 but I'm counting mari. Friends that match that.

O: Oh, well. Hm. That’s kinda new for me TBH. I haven’t seen Sarah or Mari at all, but I’ll let them both know that you miss them! And uh… on the topic of the m– Um. Edgar. I’m really sorry that happened, girl. I know what it’s like to lose a friend, that’s gotta be rough.

Ne: Oh trust me it is, waking up every morning lying to everyone that you're ok and that nothing is wrong hurts even more. Some nights I really just don't want to wake up!

O: Damn. I’ve felt like that once. Before PR. Uh. Maybe this’ll help you take your mind off of things?

Ne: Yeah… I should probably go.

O: So should I, I think I’m about to hashtag throw up right now!

Ne: Oh um… In that case see you friday, bye.

O: Bye, Ness!

[Ophelia hangs up.]

Ne: Fuckin' hell…

[Ness can be heard walking again, now with the sound of crying. This lasts for 15 minutes until the transcript ends.]

[End transcript.]

[alectology-archive]

Chapters 19, 20, 21, 22

aka reading the chapters where I discover that I’ve definitely read more than 21 chapters. Nothing I can really comment on until chapter 22, but the passage/culling is a brutal and cruel process. The ideals behind its existence make sense.

___________________

And how do you conquer in a game where there are eleven enemy tribes?” 

... “You make one tribe out of twelve,” I finally say. “By taking slaves.”

Just like the Society. Build on the backs of others. It isn’t cruel. It is practical.

dude wtf your people are enslaved. I can understand if you have the answer to it but this???

___________________

Why does Darrow hate Antonia? The other boys are so fucking awful, but he specifically says that she’s the only person who doesn’t like him, what the fuck.

Cassius and Fitchner call Sevro ‘goblin’ a dozen times but apparently Antonia is the ‘bitch’ for just voicing everyone’s opinion of Sevro...???? And she’s like the only smart person here?

I mean, it’s clear at this point that Antonia’s just the female character who exists to be very mean to the male protagonist 🙄  

___________________

Listing out named characters from house mars:

male characters: Cassius, Darrow, Titus, Roque, Sevro, Pollux, Cipio, Vixus

female characters: Antonia, Lea, Quinn, Cassandra

___________________

“Until then, I say we hold out. If Cassius or Darrow earns it, then so be it. I’ll do whatever they command, obedient as a Pink, simple as a Red.” She gestures to the others. “Until then, I think one of you should also have a chance to earn it.… After all, it may decide your career!”

Why would ANTONIA, of all people, say that

___________________

The girl may be a spoiled witch, but at least she isn’t stupid. 

shut up darrow. all the golds around you are just as spoiled, you idiot - especially Cassius, your dear ally. So far, she’s proved herself to be smarter than you.

___________________

And this morning he tried to use the standard on Quinn to see if it could make slaves for his raiding parties out of the House’s own members. It couldn’t.

Uh, yeah - Titus is demented.

___________________

Roque sighs. “They have us here because this valley was humanity before Gold ruled. Fractured. Disunited even in our very own tribe. They want us to go through the process that our forefathers went through. Step by step, this game will evolve to teach us new lessons. Hierarchies within the game will develop. We’ll have Reds, Golds, Coppers.”

“Pinks?” Cassius asks hopefully.

1. nice theory, I guess

2. Fuck Cassius

___________________

The first people stolen from House Mars are two girls and the first person House Mars captures is a... girl.

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

That behind closed doors vid eh? I took the time to change the angle/darkness on them for my own viewing so by comparing them to the other videos, my screengrabs might seem a little different, but that’s just bc i changed the pitch and yaw settings and adjusted the brightness.

spoilers technically bc this wasn’t released to the public by gearbox, so venture forth at your own risk. nothing story-wise, as far as i’m aware, though.

alright it took me a while to get things settled as i had to keep adjusting the saturation and stuff for different scenes but i am here and i am ready to ANALYZE

as we pop into sanctuary-III we notice a new quest which I am like 40% sure is named “Going Rogue” which... is a pretty interesting name. “Being Reguo” is what I actually see but I don’t think that’s it.

we also have a couple of guns in the vending machine

+3- Weapon Charge Speed so we know Maliwan guns have charge time so I’m glad there are perks to reduce that.

a sniper sold by Amara

more reduced charge speed + melee damage

Jakobs Assault Rifle! Bonus crit damage (hoping ARs are actually viable this time around), weapon accuracy, melee. 

I can’t read it, but I am assuming this is the rare spawn notification

this seems like a hub for the rare enemy missions! that is so awesome

2 of the rare enemies we can fight i am assuming

some more. i actually thought the far left, 2nd over was zer0

“I know it sounds impossible, but you’re going to have to stop the Unstoppable”.

In-Game friend’s list

5 tabs, one of them looks like a key, maybe there are friend codes across consoles? Idk what the first tab is named, but they have 7 friends online. I believe the bottom one (Moze) is you and the top one is the person you’ll be joining? It shows what quest you’re on under your name. And for some reason there’s an icon of claptrap at the top, that very well may be the current player’s icon (as it’s also above Moze and it says gunner in the box). You can edit your status apparently, but idk what status means. there’s also a button for View Inventory.

viewing the inventory rn

edit group button below ur icon/profile

new area

the unstoppable man goliath himself

more of the new area

1 (one) fear: The Unstoppable

he can apparently throw shit at us like Bullymongs did

F in chat for Zane

You can also shoot them out of the air

“Don’t leave empty [handed?]”

zoomer is so fucking cute

he threw the tire thing and it flew behind him instead of forwards

lmao

also i 100% just noticed this but zoomer is red instead of the normal yellowish, might be bc of a perk or maybe zoomer conforms to zane’s skin as well? could’ve sworn he was wearing the basic bitch outfit tho

moze and ib

can’t tell if this is a skin or not lmao the quality is too terrible

the quest called Sanctuary

i think that is a new skin? it looks black instead of blue but again that may be the quality of the video

oooo that’s different!!!! QUEST TO CUSTOMIZE SANCTUARY FOR THE INHABITANTS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE 

THIS IS ALSO DIFFERENT!!!!

vs the sanctuary-iii demo below

the behind the doors demo ^

the sanctuary-iii demo v

that’s a different list on the floor!!

the mail menu/tab!!!!!!

New legendary pangolin shield gives nova, storage, and health. does more weapon damage while shields are depleted

“I said bitttttttcccchhhhhh”

Also, those fucking names are brilliant. “Amara (as Amara), CalypsoKilla86 (as Zane), Fl4k (as Moze), MC Hammerlock (as unlisted), Moze (as Moze), SkagLord9000 (as Moze), Captain_Fuzz_Lipp (Offline - picture is Rhys), and Maya (Offline - I think the picture is Maya)

Maxxed-Out Sureshot++

“Thrown weapon MIRVs into 3 projectiles”

“Are you sure? Are you sure you want to send this item? Sent mail cannot be returned.”

EDGELORD ZANE FLYNT AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

GRANDPA NEVER GREW OUT OF HIS HOT TOPIC PHASE TGSHDTJYRUKJETHYRWTEQ

Moze heads! cool top hat skull

Moze skins

spooky scary. reminds me of Zer0′s pirate skin from captain scarlett

MOZE COLORS AND IT’S REAL WE GET TO PICK OUR COLOR SCHEMES THANK YOU OMG

GEARBOX ACTUALLY LET ME BE GAY IM YELLING

Moze emotes

it looks like there is a wheel for emotes!!!

so far we see finger guns and a little heart. we also know there’s a wave and we’ve seen amara do the chicken dance.

Amara, and some of her heads

birb

her hair holy shit that’s gorgeous

is that a crimson raider helmet? that’s badass as fuck goddamn

marcuS?

oh no Amara’s a furry now

drop from the rare enemy we see in the moze gameplay, maybe?

psycho cultist mask

warfstache?

Amara skins

spooky. guessing there will be a halloween skin event?

Fl4k!

i think this is their VIP reward head

Fl4k skins that change patterns

looks like a hawaiian shirt pattern on their jacket

camo

glow?

idk but it looks awesome

looks wintery to me, idk, maybe a floral print?

Zane heads

Soldier 76 reference i am guessing? I don’t play overwatch, im talking about the gay soldier guy with the visor lmao

space dandy fucked dirk im-

there are also gun charms

amara’s arm

buttstallion’s tail iirc

claptrap charm!

... eye of the destroyer? i think? needs more teeth

i have no idea lmao

fl4k’s doggy bowl!

helios hmmm

jack’s mask D:

moxxi’s hat

psycho mask

RHYS’S MOUSTACHE LMFAO

?????

tina’s bunny

a toaster? finally i can go swimming with my guns-

gearbox logo

weapon skins:

more eden 6:

is that is that an atlas building i see? or maybe thats SUPAMAX MFG!! they said we’d find a lot of crashed ships on Eden-6 (hey shoutout to my one post that said that the ship with bugs in it was gonna be the B-Team’s crashed ship that stranded them there, I WAS SO CLOSE)

may be supamax mfg

TINA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

looks they they’ve been living in the abandoned center (Jakobs? is it actually?)

Jakobs manor in the background

“Issarians” “Sarians” I dunno but they’re lil dinosaur thingies

more jakobs manor

i like the mix of old-timey shit and holograms/neon lights

this place is fucking huge omg

there’s like a library and everything holy shit

and it all goes to shit when the CoV get in there and hang people with TVs for heads (3rd trailer)

looks like its a basement or smth

volcano?  volcano? volcano? volcano?

(also from the third trailer ^) ARE WE GONNA BLOW UP THE VOLCANO? FUCK YEAH

Jabbers! cat monkey things. they are smart and can use guns

dome - reminds me of the atlas biodome of which cassius is from

(from TFTBL ^)

but it's just empty :|

some of the abandoned ships!

definitely thinking that abandoned factory like area we see (Tina Brick and Mordy in) is SUPAMAX MFG. these ships are SUPER similar to Sanctuary-III

THAT’S SO COOL??? this is straight outta skyrim holy shit. that giant skeleton on the tree holy fuck

looks like some sort of factory area? pump/mining maybe?

omfg lmao

this looks awful lmao but they said there is a gas giant in the sky so i gotta believe them

moze standing in what looks like the main menu

“[Iron Bear] is a little bit scuffed up - she’s seen some action”

they go on to talk about stuff we’ve already seen: about Moze’s action skills (hardpoints) and her skill trees

a better look at Amara’s phasegrasp

The quest is

“Bandit Jabber Hunter Spy”

Zane and Amara running ahead

You can target your missiles to one or multiple enemies at once. that’s fuckin awesome

more of Amara’s phasegrasp

Zane’s clone in action

“Lair of the Harpy”

And that’s it so far. That’s all we got. but holy shit was it a wild ride. I’m soooooo happy we get to pick our own colors for our skin designs. Seriously. So fucking happy. 

[arsonistblue]

Why I love the KotLC Characters

(Spoilers for pretty much all the KotLC books)

Since this is a long post, I’ll put the stuff under the cut so that if you’re not interested, you don’t have to scroll forever. 

Sophie: She’s realistic, relatable, and so kind to her friends. She will do anything to protect the people she cares about, and tries to make sure that everyone knows they are awesome. Sophie is one of the most well-developed characters I can think of.

Biana: KICKASS Q U E E N, she’s so strong and resilient, and protective of the people she loves. Biana is funny and kind, always trying to cheer people up while still being honest.She comes up with rational ideas to make sure everyone gets out of sticky situations alive, and adds her own flair to everything. Honestly like she is so unique and fabulous. Also (in case you can’t tell) I have a huge crush on her 

Dex: Dex is one of those characters that I could tell them I love them a hundred different times. He’s so fun and caring, so damn smart and he doesn’t let anything stop him. He’s so strong for putting up with the bullying from having parents who were a bad match and triplet siblings. 

Keefe: He’s so kind and compassionate and loving and caring and uggghhhhh I love him. Keefe will do anything to help his friends, even if it means bending their trust, because he always tries to do what’s right. He has to deal with two shitty parents, and he handles it with such grace. 

Fitz: He’s passionate and loyal, and while he makes mistakes, so does everyone else. Fitz is hardworking and tries to better himself as a person, also trying to maintain his friendships and hold onto his family. 

Linh: She’s so empathetic towards others, and always believes in second chances. So kind, smart and also knows how to put up a fight. She held a fucking tidal wave by herself, and in doing so saved the lives of her friends. If that doesn’t scream badass, idk what does. 

Tam: He’s so kind and strong, he willingly went with Linh when she was banished, because he’s so protective and caring towards the people he loves. He never stops coming up with ways to help, and will do whatever it takes to help the right cause. 

Wylie: He’s been through so much, what with his father going to Exile, his mother dying right before his eyes and even when he was abducted and tortured by the Neverseen. And despite all of this, he keeps going, even retaining his sense of humor, as seen in Legacy. Wylie is so kind and strong and he’s awesome. 

Marella: She has such a unique and feisty personality, always bringing her own sarcasm to the conversation (and I love her). She is so strong for accepting her pyrokinesis and her future as a presumed talentless. As well as this, she makes sure people know when they’ve crossed a line, and keeps others in check. 

Stina: HUGE character development. Like seriously, mean girl to kinda okay to rude to friend? FUCKING SLAPS. She has such a personable character, and while she is flawed in her judgement, she realizes her wrongdoings and tries to make up for them. 

Maruca: BADASS BITCH. Honestly though, like in Legacy when she told Sophie that she was a psionipath? She must’ve rehearsed that speech so many times, proving how dedicated she is. I don’t remember the exact quote, but it was something like “I’m the piece you need. I can turn this game in our favor.” 

Jensi: He’s so pure, a little angel baby. Jensi Babblos is one of the sweetest characters in the series, and while he doesn’t get much recognition, he’s always kind to Sophie and her friends. In fact, he was one of Soph’s first friends! He is outgoing and tries to see the best in everyone.

Edaline: She is so strong and has overcome so much, from losing Jolie, to thinking that Sophie was dead, to watching Soph put her life at risk so many times? She is so resilient and refuses to let anything break her. She’s such a good mom to Sophie and so nurturing to everyone. 

Grady: Grady is so protective of Sophie, and so snarky and I just love him so much. He helps Edaline when she can’t handle the anxiety or sadness, helps people overcome things. He doesn’t let his terrifying ability stop him from doing what he loves, and he’s so loving towards everyone. 

Elwin: He’s so damn smart, he can fix any malady within the physical spectrum. He’s so kind and funny to Sophie and Keefe (his star patients) and everyone else, and he gave Keefe and Fitz Mrs. Stinkbottom and Mr. Snuggles respectively to help them through tough times. So pure, so sweet. 

Sandor: Sandor is protective of his charge, doing everything in his power to protect Sophie at all costs. He’s loyal and passionate, also quite funny when he gets a chance to be. We also see his tender, loving side with Grizel, how he cares for her. 

Ro: RO IS MY WIFE. She is so powerful and funny and sarcastic and amazing and oh my god I love her. She handles Keefe so well, always protecting him. She also threatens Lord Cassius with flesh-eating bacteria, and gives people a good laugh. Also, Auntie Ro? Need I say more? 

Bronte: HUGE CHARACTER ARC. He went from a total bitch to loving and caring and kind and yes!!! Also Bronte is a smol bean and you cannot convince me otherwise. Also when Amy goes to the lost cities, he’s super cool about it and doesn’t get all mad, instead he’s understanding and curious.

[finderskeepersff]

30. Part 2

I am a mess, I never even booked a table anywhere. I just remembered while I was buttoning up my shirt. Luckily I found a place, they can take us in but I am so stupid. Like can you imagine if they had no space, where the hell would we go. Hopefully Sofia appreciates this, I have spent up with her friends being here. I have paid for everything while they been here, placing my gold chain over my black shirt. I hope I don’t start sweating, can you imagine sweating and proposing, I am going to attempt to do it. Staring at myself in the mirror, I look smart. She can’t fault that I didn’t make an effort because I have, pressing my shirt down while staring at myself in the mirror. I have the thought in my mind that I just end up messing this up, can you imagine “Sofia, you have changed the corse of my life” I scoffed “that sounds awful, mad corny” resting my hands on the counter leaning forward “Sofia you taught me how to love, no that is wrong. I want to be with you forever, will you marry me?” looking up at the mirror “keep it simple Cassius, just keep it simple. That is all” I am a mess, got me here talking to myself in the mirror. I hope to god it goes well, I am ready now. Walking out of the bathroom, turning the light off. I think I will use my black card, I don’t want to handle cash. I don’t know where to put it, picking the scan picture from the side “my lucky charm” placing the picture in my pocket, I have been upstairs for so long now so let me just go down.

Kyle grinned at me “you took an whole hour? Like seriously? I am getting drunk here” Mia half shouted “I apologise” Myles and Kyle do nothing but laugh at me, I hate them both “I forgive you, you came down looking smart. I like it” smiling at Mia “thank you, Sofia where is my Rolex?” I can’t find it at all “you left it on the kitchen counter” did I, why would I do that “ok, thanks” walking off “I am just going to get a refill” Lloyd following me is dangerous cause I am already wanting to kill him, walking into the kitchen area and seeing the Rolex just there. Picking up the Rolex “you have any work?” placing my watch on my wrist “what?” turning to him “work? That nine to five thing ain’t paying” licking my lips “work? I don’t understand” Lloyd just stared at me “Sofia and you don’t work, I am not stupid. You’re making me sound stupid” I sniggered “am I? I am confused on what you’re trying to say, you need to mind your business Lloyd. You also need to back away from me” I want to say more but I don’t want to scare him off “I just want a life like yours, it’s everything. I am having to work hard for nothing” walking by him, he thinking it’s easy. He has no fucking idea the shit I feel, to know I could be dead or be locked away and never see my child or Sofia or even worse something happens to them, he fucking don’t know.

Holding Sofia’ hand walking towards the restaurant, I am so in love with this woman and she makes me so scared and I hate it. Pulling open the door to the place “this place looks so fancy Cassius” she is impressed, that is one step “only the best for you and your friends of course” a guy in a suit stood smiling at us “booking under Cassius, eleven people” I am sure I did “yes, come right this way” he smiled, I didn’t mention that I am proposing. I mean do you do that, I am not so sure at all. I internally screamed seeing the table we have, right in the middle of the room and everyone can see. Why is god working against me like this “thank you” I smiled, the smile is really me crying because this is crazy. It’s in the middle where everyone can see “sit here” I pointed out, I didn’t want to sit on the end because then we are not sitting together, we sat central to the middle of the long table. Pulling the chair out for her “you being a gentleman now?” Sofia said smiling at me “I try to be” as she sat down I pushed her chair in.

Everyone is just talking, everyone is just saying things and I am like god help me “I need to go to the bathroom” I announced, I am being so odd right now but it’s me being nervous. Walking towards the guy that sat us down, he seems like a manager here that could help me. I mean of course Sofia is going to see me not walk to the bathroom so let me see if I can get him to walk me there “excuse me” I said, he turned to me “oh hi, is everything ok?” what am I doing “I need to ask you something but I don’t want it to look like I am telling you something because I have told my girlfriend I am going to the bathroom, can you pretend that you are walking me. She is looking, I know she is” the guy smiled “I will sir, right this way” he gestured and walked ahead of me “I will just tell you while we walk, I am proposing to my girlfriend here. I never said anything but I am now, I don’t want anything dramatic, just subtle” we stopped walking as we got into the corner “congratulations on the occasion, when will you be proposing, what stage of the meal” I shrugged “when I build up the courage, when you see my girl. She is overpowering, like she is so bomb. She got me scared” thee guy just laughed “I could do something to help ease you into it but you need to do it with the dessert, deal?” nodding my head “that could give you the lead into doing it, don’t be nervous. It’s a beautiful moment in time” some men are good at these things, I am not.

Things are going well, meal wise. Internally I am just screaming “remember in Miami when Sofia was deciding in keeping Cassius as a dick appointment” Mia said “she did!?” Amira spat “yes, she came out of a relationship that went to shits. She didn’t know if Cassius wanted her like that so she said she would keep him as a dick appointment, my sister was gone. I mean there is dick and then there is dick! I ain’t ever seen you crazy for such a thing but it worked out. I was shook, you was like he can be just a dick appointment” Sofia is rude, looking to the side of me smiling at her “but we are here now, it’s him. I mean Kyle and Myles, you both know him. He is awkward right? He didn’t even ask me first time right, he was like so yeah shall we you know? Pointing at us both, I had to force it out of his mouth. That is not my fault, he doesn’t do dates but yet he does the sweetest things. He took me to a garden thing, he came up with it not me. He does cute things, he just doesn’t like doing it like dates” rubbing the back of my neck “cause he a little bitch for you that why” Myles said laughing, Isabella hit his arm “well it’s happened now, she the same woman assumed I was cheating because I made her watch us have sex in the mirror, you tripped” I pointed laughing, Sofia gripped my finger “hate you! Look girls, get y’all man to do that and then you tell me how you feel” Sofia side eyed me “y’all should open a porn channel, Sofia be telling me half the shit she be doing. I am jealous, we need to be more like these two” I laughed out loudly “it’s because these are new and fresh, we been together for years” Mitch defended himself “we fucking in the mirror Mitch, period” poor Mitch.

I am not stupid, I knew that I was barely going to eat so I didn’t order a lot at all. It makes me look like I ate when I only ate abit, Sofia on the other hand. I can’t say much because she is eating for two but she is eating well, her face is something else. The cheeks just does it for me, I like it because it makes her look so cute “what are you staring at?” Sofia said, she caught me “erm, you” I mumbled, Sofia placed her knife and fork down and swallowed down the food she had in her mouth “stop it, you’re making me shy to eat” I chuckled “sorry, you know I do really love you” Sofia reached her hand up, wiping the side of my mouth “I know, I am sorry for being moody. I am just sad about it, what am I going to do without you?” I have no idea what to say “what you can do baby is wait for me, I will be back” placing my arm around her, pressing a kiss to her cheek “I will wait for you” she said in a whisper “Cassius, I have to ask you something” Myles got up from his seat “oh yeah, be back” he has to the ring, I forgot. Walking around the table, he reminded me luckily.

This is the part, dessert. God help me, like do I just do it smoothly. Rubbing my chin, Sofia placed her hand on my thigh “stop” I kept shaking my leg “sorry” I chuckled “how do you feel everyone is getting their dessert but you?” Mia teased Sofia “I am fine, enjoy hoes. Did you not get you one? Or you eating mine?” Sofia asked me “erm no, I didn’t want any” pushing my seat back a little “you can have some of mine, are you ok? You not ill still are you?” she touched my forehead “you’re a little warm, I have some painkillers in my bag. Have them” pointing at the waiter, they really put sparklers on there “it’s ok, look. Your dessert” my heart is beating so hard right now “why is she special? Where are my sparklers at!?” Olivia spat, the waiter placed the plate in front of Sofia, she moved back because of the sparklers “this is cute! Thank you” the waiter stood smiling, getting up from the seat. Maybe I could run, I can run because that is easier. The sparklers came off, the waiter moved them off the dessert. I can see on the plate they wrote will you marry me “what is that?” Sofia said, getting down on one knee “oh my god!” Mia spat getting up from her seat, opening the box “who am I marrying?” Sofia looked to me “no!” she spat moving back “Sofia Bundy, will you marry me?” Sofia closed the ring box “no!” placing her hand over mouth “say yes bitch!” Olivia spat “oh my god” she sobbed out “oh my god, yes” she took her time, getting up from my position. Placing the box on the table, moving Sofia’ hands away from her face “Cass” she could barely say my name “stop crying, it’s ok” holding her face, pressing a kiss to her lips and hearing the cheers in the restaurant.

That was a lot, breathing out as I moved back. The girls attacked Sofia with hugs, a pair of arms wrapped around me and lifted me up “so proud of you!! You getting married now” Kyle said, I laughed “I did it, that is the point. Now I need a drink, doing this really scared me” Kyle put me down “oh my god, Cassius! Come here, you’re marrying my girl. I am so, so, so happy you did it with us here” Mia got her arms open to me “it’s ok, I was always going to marry her. I said it to her in Miami, I said let’s skip the relationship part” hugging Mia “you don’t know how much this means to us all, I am so happy. God, love is a beautiful thing to see. I love you Cassius” Mia said “you love my friend so much, you didn’t destroy her you loved her. Thank you for this” smiling at Mia “she deserves to be loved” feeling someone’s hands on my shoulders “happy for you my man, a wedding on the cards. God, this is the best” Kenton said and then Lee came at me hugging me “I am so happy!” I am about done beind hugged now.

Sofia walked back from the bathroom, she took her time. She went to refresh her make up, getting up from the chair smiling at her “I hate you, I am shaking still. Cassius, you really proposed to me” Sofia placed her hands over her mouth again “stop it” wrapping my arms around Sofia “I told you I would marry you, I wanted to make it speacial for you. Thank you for riding with me” Sofia wrapped her arms around my neck “you have made my life, thank you” Pressing a kiss to her cheek moving my head back “love you, stop crying. Please” I don’t want to wipe her tears, she might just slap me because of her makeup “I am so happy for you guys, god. You got me crying too” shuffling my chair in just smiling “you ain’t even put your ring on” grabbing the box “I was so shook I just closed it” opening the box “oh my god, Cassius this is beautiful. My heart” she likes the ring “I chose it and it has an engraving on it” Sofia looked up at me “I have nothing to give you, and all you do is give. That is too much” getting the ring out of the box “you do give me something, you give me love. You have changed me Sofia, you chose me over your mom so I don’t expect it. You gave up what you knew for me so don’t say that, you riding for me Sofia. You have changed me and that alone is worth more than anything because at the end of the day, this” holding the ring up “is materialistic and what will prevail is our love and it will until the day I die. So for now I want to share what I got with you, you are my love Sofia and it’s weird how we met but we met” Sofia is a wreck “I love you Cassius” She grabbed my face, moving my face closer to hers and kissed my cheek “thank you” I just smiled catching Mia and Olivia watching on in awe “here” holding her left hand “it will fit perfectly too and it says inside the ring our names” sliding the ring down on her finger “this better be the right finger” I am just thinking now “yes, yes it is” I am impressed with myself.

Standing outside waiting for the girls to come out and some of the boys “not going to front, you got my heart there too. Wow. See you did it” I breathed out “once I got over it, it was over” lighting my cigarette “Lloyd’ face though, he was so hateful with it all but anyways. So Raphael, we have had contact” pulling a face “who is that?” the fuck is that “the guy you are meeting, come on Cassius. So he knows you want to see him, Ethan called me and sorted us out. Raphael said he will send us his private jet to pick us up, he is trying to impress us already” blowing the smoke out from my lips “provate jet you say? Wow, ok. What did he say about the meet?” never been on one of those but it would be nice to try it “he said it would be a pleasure to speak to you, Ethan told him it’s nothing bad because obviously he assumes you’re getting back at him for selling drugs in his spot. We shall see, and they are coming out now” I couldn’t even finish this off, flicking it away from me. That was a waste “Cassius, I want a picture of you two. Come here” Mia said, staring at Mia like she crazy “go on! Move it” walking over to Sofia “Cassius you better smile, that is your wife now” placing my arms around Sofia smiling “and I am happy about that” I am very happy with that, marrying the love of my life “awwww my beauties, I stan. Congratulations to the both of you on the engagment” Mia and these damn hugs she is giving out.

Sofia sat down next to me “there is so much we need to plan now, baby shower. Hen night, god! Busy schedule” Olivia said as she picked up her glass of wine “well you won’t have long to plan, I am going to marry her quick. So like next month” Mia’ mouth fell open “why?” I shrugged “because I said, I just want it over with so yeah. It’s something Sofia wants also, right?” looking over at her “yeah it is” Mia pouted out “I don’t have my wedding body right, there is not enough time. God!” chewing my bottom lip “it’s going to be small and nice, that is all I know. It’s on Sofia, she has the power to do as she pleases” she can tell me what she wants because honestly this is her thing “I mean you probably don’t want to hear this but would you have your mom and brother there?” Olivia asked a good question “I never thought of the moment, it’s one of those things where your dad leads you to your husband and then tells your husband to look after his daughter. I won’t have that obviously, I am not so sure. What do you girls think?” placing my hand on Sofia’ lap “I would let my mom see I am happy, I would invite her. But that is just me, maybe the bitch in me” not like I mind it but Grace is full of drama so I am not sure, now this will make Sofia think on inviting her.

I am so happy things went how I wanted it, Sofia is happy and so am I “I really keep staring at my ring, Cassius. It is so beautiful, thank you. I didn’t think you was going to propose to me, I asked you to marry me and I just assumed you kind of forgotten and didn’t want it but this, I am shoked” Sofia said while staring at her hand “you deserve it Sofia, you’re riding with me. You have shown me so much love. I am going to miss you so much, I wish I didn’t need to go but I do. I will keep in contact with you but I am going to stay elsewhere, Kyle’ parents home, I will be staying there. I am going to try and remain lowkey as possible and then come back. I need you to start planning the wedding on how you want it, if you want your mom there then ok but you need to see her” I know Sofia doesn’t want to hear it but she has too “maybe I could come with you then” shaking my head “then I need to go to my mom’ home, it’s different when I am with you. This is business, you stay here safe. You know where the money is so you good, don’t open the gate for no one besides you know who” she ain’t stuid “I won’t but I don’t have a car?” raising an eyebrow “but you do?” Sofia climbed onto my lap “but I want yours” I laughed “you got a ring, too late.You cannot drive it, stay yo ass here. I should be back, shit shouldn’t really pop off at all. Longest will be three days, get niggas in order” one thing to another, now I got to deal with that shit next “don’t do anything stupid Cassius” Sofia said “the worst I am going to do is take over what he is got going, open it here under his establishment which branches from what I got going in Brooklyn to here, which creates attention big time, that is the peak time where I will be trouble. I need to take the guy under my wing and then trust him, make him one of us and then that is it” Sofia rolled her eyes and rested her head on my shoulder, I feel the same way “but enough of that, we are in our bedroom and my dick needs to be sucked, now” Sofia yawned in my ear “baby said no” she better quit the bullshit.

[grimelords]

Two days after I said I’d upload it tonight, here it is! My October playlist is finished and it’s chock a block full of good music and also bad music that I love. From John Mellencamp to drone metal, from Katy B to Cassius, it’s all here and more. Deadmau5 also is here and for that I apologise.

Small Town (Acoustic) - John Mellencamp: Guess who had a legit emotional reaction to a John Mellencamp song this month, thinking deeply about what it means to be from a small town and how much this song gets right and wrong about identity and freedom in a small town versus living in a big town? This guy. I think this song works a lot better stripped down acoustically than it does in the album version. It gives the lyrics a lot more space, and really lays out just how simple the sentiment of the song is. It sets the tone of this month's playlist pretty well now that I think about it. I've been feeling like a real pea-brain hayseed this month and big chunks of this playlist really reflect that.

Katy On A Mission - Katy B: It feels like this and Hold It Against Me by Britney Spears (which was also 2011) is the moment that big american style dubstep completely crossed over into the mainstream, Scary Monsters And Nice Sprites was about six months ago and from there it was a tidal wave until oversaturation and complete death. But Katy On A Mission is different because it's at least got the credentials of dubstep pioneer Benga producing it and it doesn't go all-out on the super dirty bass, or even particularly have a big drop at all - it just uses it textually all the way through and it's better off for it.

I Only Have Eyes For You - The Flamingos: The way this song is recorded is insane. It literally sounds like they're at the bottom of a well. And it's mixed in that good early stereo hard-panned style so the lead is in the right channel and the whole harmony is in the left channel and absolutely soaked in reverb in a way that just sounds incongruous with the rest of the song. It sounds like a dream. My favourite moment is at about 2:30 when the harmony vocals get so large on the high note that they clip out and distort in a way that just sounds very, very cool.

Horses In The Sky (Live Version) - The Sound Of Animals Fighting: The Sound Of Animals Fighting was a post-hardcore prog supergroup where they were all anonymous (it was just the entirety of RX Bandits plus Anthony Green from Circa Survive) and I really wish they'd done more like this after their first album - because they still wrote very very good songs but they got lost in the mire of studio ambient interludes and being avant-garde for the sake of it which sometimes worked and most times just bored you which thankfully they only succumb in the end section of this version. Compare this to the studio version if you want to know what I mean, halfway through the guitar solo it just starts playing in reverse.

Split Wide Open - Cannibal Corpse: Here's what I mean about feeling like a pea-brain this month. Cannibal Corpse is proper troglodyte moron man music. It makes me feel dumb as fuck like a real stupid guy. There's something interesting about Cannibal Corpse's enduring ability to shock people, and that a band making such extreme music are at least a name that people know. They were in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective for god's sake. Before Marilyn Manson and that wave of cabaret shock-rock really got into the popular consciousness Cannibal Corpse were making shocking, violent music without any of the glamour and I think it's served them well in the long run. Songs like 'Hammer Smashed Face' or 'I Cum Blood', are shocking in title, artwork and content to this day are still musically shocking to the vast majority, far more than Marilyn Manson's spooky androgyny and wearing like a top hat and having fangs or whatever that's aged like milk and become just another boring cliche. The idea of the devil being charming and sly, disguised in charisma is so much more boring than the devil just tearing you apart like mince meat and eating you. Anyway I'm here to say Cannibal Corpse is good music for dum-dums like me.

Funeraloplis - Electric Wizard: Someone's edited it now but it's still in the footnote links, but the best ever piece of writing on wikipedia was the quote on Electric Wizard's page where they were explaining the origin of their name because it said "Is the name Electric Wizard made out of two Black Sabbath song titles? [smokes a big bud of weed through a can] Hahahaha, yeah it is!" which is so good and sort of all you need to know about them.

I <3 U So - Cassius: Looking back through this list it seems I'm having a real 2011 moment for some reason. I don't think I *get* Cassius. From everything I read about them they seem to be french dance royalty but they literally have two good songs and they're both in this playlist. These two songs are very good though so maybe it's just that. Anyway it's a shame what Kanye did this to song on Watch The Throne but I don't blame him, it feels like this song is just impossible to work with. It's at a weird tempo, it's incredible loose, it basically has one section. I imagine this song would have frustrated a lot of DJs when it was popular cause I really don't know how you would mix in or out of it, but fuck it while it's on it's a great song!

Youth, Speed, Trouble, Cigarettes - Cassius: This is the other good Cassius song. I'm pitching it as the theme song for when they eventually reboot Skins. I really appreciate that this song has 1 idea and basically just does every variation it can with it before bringing it to a climax. When your idea is this simple and this good that's all you need. Also the big toms that kick in after the 'just one more' but are heaven sent.

It Took The Night To Believe - Sun 0))): Sun 0))) are such morons and it's so funny that you can be so dumb and so serious about this sort of music at the same time. On this song Greg Anderson is credited as Mystik Fogg Invokator and Stephen O'Malely is credited as Taoiseach, which is the name for the Irish prime minister. Whenever I listen to Sun 0))) for the first two minutes I'm like 'lol this sucks' but then suddenly the guy is like 'cry yourself to ash' and I'm feeling the pull of the void quite heavily. Basically it's just like that meme.

Seven Angels - Earth: I remember ages ago some guy posted Earth 2: Special High Frequency edition and it was just this whole album with a high pass filter on it which is a funny joke. Anyway it interesting to think of this album in the context of when it came out. Two years after Nevermind, six months before In Utero - grunge at the absolute height of its power, stoner metal like Kyuss and Sleep huge when suddenly this guy comes out of nowhere and distills guitar music down to its essence: slower, louder, heavier than anything else by an order of magnitude.

Mutual Slump - DJ Shadow: I finally saw Xanadu this month and now I can finally relate to the weird smiling breathing out your nose noise that she makes after she says 'I'd never hailed a cab before' in this song.

Walkin' On The Sidewalks - Queens Of The Stone Age: Queens Of The Stone Age's first album is 20 years old this year and I've been thinking a lot about how it was a two person operation. Josh Homme played and sang everything on this album except the drums and it's funny to think about writing this sort of music all by yourself outside of a jam structure. He really sat down with a pad and paper and wrote down 'outro: bass riff x400' and then recorded it just like that.

Witch - Maps & Atlases: I wake up with this song in my head so often it's insane. I think a triplet groove in 4/4 like this is such a good and underused feeling and this song really deploys is perfectly. I want more of this, the good kind of math rock where it's not just guys doing midwest emo tappy riffs that all sound the same.

Down 2 Hang - Kirin J Callinan: This is what meeting up with people from the internet feels like. It's kind of a shame that this album got completely overshadowed by the Jimmy Barnes screaming meme, and that it's the first and last a lot of americans will ever hear of Jimmy Barnes but in reality it's exactly what Kirin J Callinan wanted to good for him I suppose.

Fast In My Car - Paramore: If you can't tell already I'm having an extremely basic bitch moron man month and that included listening to this Paramore album a lot and telling my girlfriend about how isn't it so interesting that the guitarist Taylor York just took over drum duties for this album after their longtime drummer quit and did such a good job playing drums AND guitar and her rightly not caring at all. I'm always impressed by songs that keep the same chords through the verse and chorus, it seems impossible but it works great here.

Don't Stop The Dance (feat. Delafleur) - Breakbot: I'm clapping my hands to stress each syllable when I tell you that Disco Will Never Die.

Oqiton - Jeremy Dutcher: I'm so glad this album won the Polaris Prize because I feel like I would never have heard of it otherwise. I absolutely love it, and I think what I love so much about it is that it doesn't fall into the trap of similar projects like this in the past of smoothing out all the jagged edges and turning it into plastic pretty music from the untouched ancient peoples - it's a real and alive reinterpretation of old music that looks toward the future and past in equal measure. Including the actual original recordings in each track is such a smart move, it gives you the context you need so this album isn't about liner notes and extra sources and it lets those old recordings seamlessly fold into these new reorchestrations.

I Remember - Deadmau5 & Kaskade: Anyway moron month continues here with the only worthwhile contribution to the planet earth that Deadmau5 ever made, I suspect by letting Kaskade do most of the work. It sounds sadistic but I really appreciate how this song is nearly ten minutes long, I'm a big fan of any song with that much confidence that actually pulls it off.

Overtime - Jessie Ware: Fucking Jessie Ware is back and she’s got Bicep producing! I think I added this song to my playlist before it was even a minute in, I just heard the bassline and my brain stem said yes.

Body - Julie Jacklin: I really think Julia Jacklin might be the best songwriter around right now and I cannot wait for her new album. I guess this keeps with the moron man theme by telling it from the other side. I keep listening to this song and then getting into a real mood for about an hour afterwards so I can't imagine the damage the album is going to do to me.

Can't Tell Me Nothing - Kanye West: Throughout the whole ongoing Kanye drama I've been thinking of this song. " I feel the pressure, under more scrutiny, and what I do? Act more stupidly" "I'm on TV talking like it's just you and me". Anyway he's had is money right for a long time but it's becoming increasingly apparent that you really really can't tell him nothing. I think it's interesting that the thing that seems to have spurred him into clarifying his beliefs and finally backtracking on anything is that Candace Owens tried to credit him for the shitty Blexit thing and it turns out the one thing you can't do to Kanye West is manipulate him into putting his name on something he doesn't believe in or didn't create. It's insane that John Legend and Mos Def and Talib Kweli reaching out didn't change anything but Candace Owens taking one too many liberties absolutely did.

Like Wolves On The Fold - Colin Stetson: I've said it one million times but I love Colin Stetson. I love how straightforward this is for a Colin Stetson song. You can sing along to it! So much writing about him focuses on the intricasies of his technique rather than his resulting very human, very primal music. I feel like his music is not very far from beating on your chest and yelling a lot of the time (especially toward the second half of this song) and the saxophone element just makes it a lot more socially acceptable.

Sack 'Em Up, Pt. I / Sack 'Em Up, Pt. II - Gwenifer Raymond: Bandcamp had a really good article about American Primitive the other day https://daily.bandcamp.com/2018/10/10/american-primitive-list/ and I found this album in it and fell completely in love instantly. I listened to it five times in a row. It's just incredible and I'm so glad that the music I love is finally being rescued from the mire of New Acoustic youtube men with their slapping and tapping and harp guitars and moving forward in new ways with artists like Sarah Louise, Marisa Anderson and Gwenifer Raymond. Women are finally allowed to play guitar now and thank fuck. One of the things I really appreciate about this album is just how written it feels. Every part, even the very swirly Part One of this song feels very purposeful, and if not totally written at least improvised in a tight framework before moving into the completely written second half. There's nothing wrong with improv but in a genre like this that's almost overrun with guys putting out hour long improv records it's refreshing to hear someone with such a clear vision execute it so expertly.

Bleeding Finger Blues - Gwenifer Raymond: Also, get a fucking load of this. An absolute powerhouse performance from a master. There's not enough solo banjo music around and it's a shame because I don't know if there's a better argument for banjo as a solo instrument than this song. The other thing I like about this album is there’s three banjo songs on it, which works well for breaking up the sequencing and making each song really distinct in a genre where albums can really blend together.

4:30 - Danger: It's a shame that Danger never really fulfilled his potential. With songs as good as this as 19:11 he seemed set. But then he took about a decade off before his debut album and I guess he lost something along the way. Anyway, doesn't matter because when you've got a song as good as this it's all you need. Also here's a good video where someone just put this song over the bar scene from Terminator which really accentuates the vibe in my opinion. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z37R39-mff8

Crybaby - Abra: I love love love the production on this. A friend sent it to me because he said it reminded him of the Call Me Mr Telephone song I was raving about and he’s absolutely right. I love how formless it is, it goes through about three different verse ideas before finally getting to the chorus at about a minute and a half in and it’s only stronger for it. I’m so glad a new generation of darkwave adjacent people are discovering freestyle because this is great.

OMG!!! - Yelle: This song is probably best experienced with the music video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoWK4rV3INY It’s fantastic on its own, especially the “oh my god!” sample and the whole chorus section, but the video - titties out, covered in glitter, very very good dance move for the rising 'ooo' part, a hamster is there. Really accentuates it.

Copacabana (At The Copa) - Barry Manilow: Was thinking about this song the other day. Woke up with it in my head actually which was strange. I feel like this song and the Pina Colada song definitely take place in the same cinematic universe.

King Of The Dead - Cirith Ungol: I've been rereading Lord Of The Rings and also a very dodgy 70s sci-fi series called Dray Prescot and so divine fate has drawn me to discover Cirith Ungol. The good kind of metal where all the album covers could also be fantasy novel covers and all the songs are about how cool it would be to slay an ancient demon with a sword. I love this song because it feels impossible to sing it without doing some very dramatic face acting and also his voice is completely insane. I feel like this is maybe just how he talks.

Sugaree 10/21/1978 - Grateful Dead: Grateful Dead are good and ever since I came to terms with that I've felt like I'm always on the precipice of buying a box of tapes, covering my car in confusing stickers and dropping completely out of society. The problem with a big chunk of live Dead recordings that I've heard is that while the playing is always on point, the vocals can vary wildly - especially when they try any kind of harmony, but this recording is just great. Fantastic vocals with a lot of feeling, ample crowd noise so it doesn't feel like just a sterile soundboard recording, and of course an incredible extended jam.

Ring De Bell - Brother Resistance: I don't fully understand what rapso music is yet, I don't have enough understanding of the culture or surrounding genres. I basically just found this Best Of compilation and have been listening to it a LOT. As I understand it it's 70s Trinidadian calypso music that got very political, which is very cool. I'm a big fan of this sort of lyric where it feels like you could just go on and on for days about all the places you should ring the bell.

Kojack - David Rudder: The crown jewel of this compilation is of course this song I've posted about before and absolutely love to death. A protest song about them taking Kojack off the TV because it's too violent when shows like Dallas and Dynasty, which are far worse, remain on the air. Miami Vice! Before youtube comments and online petitions you had to make extremely good songs about this kind of thing, and its a huge shame that we've allowed this to die.

The Power Of Love - Celine Dion: I love Celine Dion because all her songs sound like they were recorded across 5 countries and 8 different studios and cost two million dollars. They always sound too expensive for casual listening to me, like I should have an emergency mink coat on me at all times just in case The Power Of Love starts playing in a supermarket.

Airworks - J Dilla: I've been listening to Donuts a bunch this month and really thinking about what makes him so good and the vast legion of Dilla imitators on soundcloud bad and I think this song is a good example. The main sample sounds straight up ugly, it's backwards and twisted to hell, the main strings part keeps folding over itself, it's just chaos but completely controlled chaos. Every imitator is so afraid to make a total mess like he does and is too focused on the underpinning laid-backness of the beat, where Dila somehow makes the relaxed feeling easily as a result of a million clashing elements.

Anti-American Graffiti - J Dilla: I also found a playlist on Spotify where someone had put together Donuts with all of the the original tracks it sampled (or at least the ones that are available on Spotify) and it's such an illuminating new way to listen to this album. https://open.spotify.com/user/keatonkreps/playlist/1TPeWt38uceWXD1Vhyf7wx?si=NJ_jHrYqQpCt18q-W9nrag

Marvel - Solillaquists Of Sound: Every genre has good music in it. Even rappity rap conscious hip hop has good songs like this one. There’s another song on this album called Popcorn that’s basically the It’s Media picture converted to a .wav but this song is good. Especially her vocals when they come in halfway through sounding like an astrology zine except good.

Rock Island Line - Johnny Cash: Johnny Cash has around one million songs about trains, including ‘Blue Train’, ‘Train Of Love’ and a song called ‘I’ve Got A Thing About Trains’ but this is the best one because it’s about train-related fraud and doing perhaps the most outlaw country manoeuvre ever and telling the toll man that you’re carrying livestock when you are in fact carrying pig iron.

I <3 U So (Skream's Made Zdar Feel Like He Was 20 Again Remix) - Cassius: Also as a kind of coda, here's Skream's version of I <3 U So, where he's completely ironed it out and turned it into a pulsing dnb thing which is always impressive to me when people completely reverse the feel of a song in a remix.

Worms Of The Senses / Faculties Of The Skull - Refused: Stereogum had a really good article about The Shape Of Punk To Come on its 20th anniversary and whether it really did turn out to be the shape of punk to come. They asked a bunch of people whether the title seemed arrogant and the vocalist from La Dispute had a really good answer where he said "But it’s like calling your shot and then fuckin’ hitting a home run. If it was arrogant, it was justifiably so." which is so great. https://www.stereogum.com/2020358/refused-shape-of-punk-to-come-turns-20/franchises/sounding-board/​

listen here

[thetwelvecaesars]

Livia Drusilla Was NOT Evil! Hear Me Out.

I love the Ancient Roman Tag here on Tumblr. But, the one thing I don’t like is that everyone hates Livia due to I, Claudius by Robert Graves. Now, as close as we would all love that book to be non-fiction, it isn’t. Livia Drusilla wasn’t evil and even though I know you all would say, ‘well, she did this or that’, let me be her defense attorney.

Exhibit #1: She killed Augustus’ grand-children, Gaius and Lucius.

The only evidence I have been able to dig up is that of Tacitus in his Annals: “When Agrippa died, and Lucius Caesar as he was on his way to our armies in Spain, and Caius while returning from Armenia, still suffering from a wound, were prematurely cut off by destiny, or by their step-mother Livia's treachery, Drusus too having long been dead, Nero remained alone of the stepsons, and in him everything tended to centre.”

Suetonius says nothing on the matter and from reading his work, no piece of gossip was ignored. Not to mention that most of what he says can be cross-referenced in Tacitus and Cassius Dio’s works. Suetonius also had access to the Imperial Records. 

Exhibit #2: She killed Augustus

This idea comes from Suetonius who said that people suspected her as she was his wife. People always suspect the wife of someone powerful. It’s a thing. Suetonius writes that Augustus got a chill at sea and died, which isn’t uncommon. Vespasian of the Flavian era caught a chill and died as well.

Tacitus also didn’t like her, but I felt when reading his work, he didn’t like anyone. But who can blame him? He lived during Domitian’s reign and the Tacitus as a senator, surely lived in fear of being executed. 

Exhibit #3: Livia hated Claudius, so she’s evil!

...a lot of people hated Claudius. Before I go on, I would like to say that I, the writer of this blog is the proud owner of handicap parking placards. I just got them renewed. 

On to Claudius. He was disabled and in ancient times, Rome, Greece, ect, they were looked down on. Hell, even in the later eras. Augustus, according to Suetonius, also hated Claudius because he stammered and all. It wasn’t until Augustus realised Claudius was actually smart, that he didn’t hate him. 

But, it’s a real miracle Claudius is alive, because I am sure someone in Ancient Rome would have killed the deformed child. So, Livia and Augustus weren’t that bad.

And this is the part where I am not sure if I should give Caligula some applause for giving Claudius public office, even if it was somewhat of a joke.

Exhibit #4: She stopped Claudius from writing his family history.

That she did, according to Suetonius. But, if we look at the whole picture, I am pretty sure that Livia was just trying to keep her family looking good. Keeping up appearances in Rome were very important. That’s the reason why Augustus exiled his own daughter Julia. The family was trying to hold onto power and Livia surely didn’t want Claudius to ruin what she and Augustus had built with his history; and that was the new Roman Empire. 

Exhibit #5: Livia was so evil that even Caligula didn’t like her.

True. Caligula didn’t like her. Suetonius writes that he said she was a ‘silver-tongued Ulysses’. Which she may have been, but to me, Caligula saying something like that doesn’t hold much weight. 

Not after looking at all he did. 

1. He promised to marry this one woman if he became Emperor. But, when he did, he forced her and his right hand man, Macro to commit suicide. 

2. Gave Tiberius a moving funeral elegy and then a year later denounced him publicly.

3. He slept with all 3 of his sisters, Livillia, Agrippina the Younger and Drusilla. Then, exiled two of them after denouncing them as adulterers. (And I don’t think he killed Drusilla either, for that matter.)

4. Bitched and complained about how his wife, Caesonia had a daughter and how much of a financial burden it would be. Then, when the child showed some of his cruel tendencies, adored her and finally acknowledged Caesonia as his wife. (Which, was a title he seemed to have reserved for Drusilla until her death.)

Exhibit #6: Livia did it!

Yeah. This is a fun joke, but I really don’t think that she killed everyone. She wasn’t involved in any deaths historically besides Gaius and Lucius that I can find. Even that is just a rumour and I think that even if she did kill those two off, it doesn’t make her evil. 

Augustus, the father of the country of Rome killed way more people than Livia and people still adore him. He also cheated on her, but she didn’t cheat on him. So I really think that saying ‘Livia did it’ is funny, but still isn’t correct. I mean, look at so many female figures in history who were painted to be evil because they were powerful? Lucretia Borgia, Catherine the Great, Marie Antoinette, etc.