#cassianappreciation

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A Better Idea (Cassian x Reader) Cassian Week Day 1

A little short for @cassianappreciationweek Cassian week Day 1 for the prompt 'Flying'! Stumbled across this just today, glad I discovered it just on day one:)

Summary: When you return from a disastrous date you just want to drown your frustration and sorrow in wine. And more wine. But Cassian has a better idea...

Tags: Cassian x reader, short, fluff, secret feelings

Length: 1.5k

Cassian Week Day 1: Flying

Enjoy <3

Masterlist

With admittedly too much force than you intended to, you kick off your shoes by the entrance and trot towards the living room of the townhouse you reside in with your friends. Today, you are not in the mood for talking at all and you wish you would have found a new apartment by now.

You could not bear another painful conversation about your failed dating attempts by Cassian, Az and Mor. But somehow, everytime you return home from them, they seem to be lurking around the house.

Tonight though, it seemed like Urd is in your favor for once. You tiptoe into the living room, wincing at the pain that shoots up in your feet. Never would you wear these high heels again.

Especially not for such an idiot like the fae male you had the displeasure of meeting before. The audacity some males possess is a mystery to you.

Letting out a huge sigh, you fall down onto the soft cushions of the sofa beside the fireplace and reach for the drinks table. Grabbing a fresh glass you manage to pour yourself some of the old Wine Rhys stores here for guests.

That means it is the good stuff. Just what you need.

"Home early, hm?" A dark voice sounds from behind you, making you startle.

"Oh my", you exclaim and turn around to be met with Cassian standing in the doorway. "Oh you, hey. Yeah, I am home. And no, I don't want to talk about it."

"That bad, huh?" He asks and sits down on the sofa opposite yours.

"What part of I don't want to talk about it was hard to understand?" You hiss but immediately regret your snappy tone.

"Alcohol won't make your problems go away, though", he remarks and points to the full to the brim glass in your hand.

"It won't but it will make me forget for just this evening. So, if you could see yourself out I am doing fine, thank you."

You never understood the fixation Cassian had on your failed dates. When Mor and Az were concerned, he seemed to have a heightened interest in who you were meeting up with. But tonight, you are having none of it, therefore, you bring the glass to your lips.

Or are trying to because Cassian stands up and grabs the glass right out of your hand.

"The fuck you are", he responds to your admittedly rude dismissal.

"What do you want?"

"I have a better idea than getting shitfaced at 7pm. Get your coat and some shoes. We are going out", he orders.

You want to protest but he stands there, waiting for you to get into motion.

"Fine", you huff and get up.

Minutes later, you stand outside the townhouse covered in a coat against the cold of this November night.

"Now what?" You ask.

Cassian grins and answers. "I thought you'd never ask."

Next thing you know he is scooping you up into his arms and states: "We're going for a ride."

You want to protest, again, but cannot formulate your thoughts quickly enough because Cassian already leapt into the air.

And you with him.

Instinctively, you grasp onto him and pull yourself to his strong chest. It is not like you have never flown with any of the guys before but it usually came with a little more preparation than now.

You open your eyes and the first thing you see is Cassian staring at you, smiling. You look around and see Velaris painted in the lights of the city beneath you. Snow has begun falling around you, coating the streets in white powder.

"Sorry if I scared you. Should have warned you before leaping into the sky."

"It's okay. Where are we going?"

"Just flying around a little, helping you clear your head. If you have a place in mind I can take you there", he offers.

You shake your head. "No, this is fine. If you get exhausted we can..."

He tsks. "Do I look like I get exhausted carrying you around? I think not. Now tell me about your evening. If you want to."

You let out a pained sigh. "There is not a lot to say, to be honest. Guy was a douche. He arrived late which should have been a red flag to begin with. But his whole demeanour was super uncomfortable. I was glad when it ended."

Cassian hums in response.

"I guess I'll stop looking for my mate. Maybe not everyone has one? I mean it could be possible that you never meet your match."

"Don't say that. Everyone has a match out there. What do you mean with uncomfortable? He wasn't inappropriate, was he? Otherwise, I'd have to pay him a visit later."

You chuckle and push playfully against his hard chest. Gods, he must work out constantly for being built like this. Having such a body and face should be illegal. You never would admit in a hundred years that you have crushed on Cassian since the day you met him and the other guys. But he would never let you hear the end of it. And despite your attraction to him, you were looking for a relationship while he had a certain reputation among the friend circle. Not exactly relationship material. So, wanting to preserve your friendship you never talked about your crush on him with anyone.

"It wasn't like that. You know, I just didn't feel at ease like with the others or you. I don't feel the need to disguise myself as someone I am not", you explain.

You both stay silent for a while, taking in the scenery around you. Eventually, Cassian seems to spot a hill on the outskirts of the city and lands atop of it. From where you stand, you have a breathtaking view over the city. You cannot help to just gape at the beauty of your hometown.

Your breath visible in the air you notice how the temperatures have dropped on the hill in comparison to the city. You start shaking a little but almost immediately, you feel the soft weight of silk envelop your back. You look to your side and see Cassian spreading one of his wings around you.

You smile at him and stand closer. "Thanks. For the flight as well, I guess. It really is better than getting shitfaced."

"I figured as much. What I don't understand though..." He begins but stops, staring into the city.

"What is it?"

"Tell me something. If you feel so comfortable with me, as you said. And you also said it is important to you to feel comfortable. Why is it that you always go on these horrible dates when they make you feel like you have to change yourself?"

You huff out a laugh. "Cassian, I mean, isn't it obvious? We are friends. I am looking for a relationship, I don't get what you are getting at."

"Who says I am not looking for a relationship?" He asks and turns to face you.

You try to grasp the words but you are speechless.

So he continues. "It is like you meet all these guys that have nothing on you by the way. And it seems like..." He rakes his fingers through the long strands of his hair.

"And it seems like what?" You ask astounded.

"It seems like I am invisible to you. And I don't know why."

Now you are completely at a loss of words. Him, invisible to you? In what kind of askew reality was he living? Has he looked in the mirror?

"I...you...I always assumed you were just having fun. And I would have never assumed that you...me?" You point towards yourself.

"That I fancied you?"

Now that he labels it so plainly your breath hitches and you feel your cheeks going warm.

"Yeah, that."

"Well, now you have it. I made a fool out of myself because I just couldn't bear see you return from yet another awful date."

"You haven't made a fool out of yourself", you say and reach out to touch his cheek. Not breaking eye contact you both just stand there for a while.

"It wasn't ever on my radar that you had an interest in me. Except for friendship."

"I guess I have to work on my flirting skills. They seem to not work on the one woman I am interested in", he sighs but a smile is creeping up on his lips.

Relief washes over you.

"If you feel better I had a crush on you ever since I stumbled right in front of you the day we met. I was so embarrassed."

He laughs. "That was cute as Hel."

"So, what do we do now?" You ask.

"I mean, now that the cat's out the bag. Will you go out on a date with me? I mean, technically, this can count as a date, too. It will be our second date then, just to ease the pressure of first dates.", he proposes, smirking.

"Oh, so you take girls on a flight for the first date?" You joke.

Cassian shakes his head and wraps his arms around you. "No. Just you."

You smile. Maybe this really has been a better idea than getting drunk.

I hope you enjoyed this short that I have written for Cassian week! I had so much fun and hope I can contribute to the other days as well. Lots of love <3

And if you have requests for Acotar or Baldurs Gate imagjnes, feel free to use the askbox!

[arinbelle]

Gentle

A/N: Happy Cassian Appreciation Week! It has been so long since I’ve posted anything and this fic sort of came to me unexpectedly. I really miss Nessian and I super, super miss the concept of them in Illyria with Nesta going with Cassian after ACOFAS. I guess this is an AU to ACOSF, and it’s a little angsty, a little smutty, and a lot of Nessian, which of course I love and live for.

Thank you @cassianappreciationweek for putting this amazing week together. I’m so excited!!!

                                                            ~*~

Nesta was curled up on the couch, a cup of tea steaming besides her and a thick novel held in her hands which she promptly laid down once she saw him.

She didn’t say hello, or ask how he was, not that he expected her to. And apart from a quick nod of acknowledgement on her part and a grunt from him, that was it for them.

Cassian was tired. Bone-deep tired and he worried he may not have the energy to speak for the rest of the week, let alone do anything else. The rain he’d been caught in on the way home hadn’t helped his mood either. And definitely not as he’d trudged upstairs and peeled off the sodden clothes and leather that stuck to him like glue.

But a quick, heated bath restored some of his energy and he made his way back down to Nesta, still on the couch, and still reading as he towel-dried his hair.

“Good book?”

A hum. Yes.

“Did you eat?”

Another hum. Lower. It could be yes or no, he’d learned.

“Come eat with me.”

A click of her tongue. He was interrupting her reading and it was his cue to stop bothering her. So he did.

He made his way to their small kitchen, following the smell of freshly warmed up food. He opened up the pots on the stove, taking in the rice, lentils and chicken. The smell was heavenly and after surviving on stale bread and hard cheese for the past week, he was relieved to eat a hot meal that required a plate and cooking.

Nesta didn’t move away when he joined her on the empty side of the couch, nor did she prompt him to eat somewhere else. Not that there was anywhere else to go eat. It was either down here with her, or upstairs shut away in his bedroom.

He opted for company, however silent it may be.

“It’s good.” He said after getting a second serving for himself.

“Emerie’s recipe.” She flipped the page, eyes never once wavering from scanning the lines in front of her.

He finished the remainder of the meal quietly, peeking glances to the female across him, not even two feet away, every so often. She’d opted for a loose knot at the back of her head, as opposed to the tight coronet braid it was usually in. And the nightgown she had on covered her from shoulders to toes.

Last he’d seen her, the week before, she’d looked much different. Her hair had been loose, falling down her back in silky ripples. He’d wrapped his hand around the length of it once, twice, until he’d had enough to tug her head gently backwards and meet him for a kiss. His hips had snapped into her own, pounding deeper and deeper and she’d pulled away with a moan, burying her head into the pillows as he tightened his grip on her hips. The thin scrap of lace that she’d come to him wearing, a barely there nightgown, was sitting discarded besides him on the floor besides the couch. He had been too close and he would have pushed her over the edge soon enough had there not been a sharp rap on the door a few feet from them.

Nesta had quieted immediately while Cassian had stopped altogether. The knock had come again a few moments later and Cassian had flipped her over onto her back while yelling out at whoever was at the door.

A message had come from a northern kingdom in the mountains that he was needed for some sort of emergency. Cassian had discussed the details for a few minutes more while continuing to fuck Nesta slowly, covering just her mouth as she came hard around him, back arched and eyes rolling back in her head.

It wasn’t until the messenger told him goodbye and that he’d be waiting at the training barracks for him that Cassian had properly extricated himself from Nesta, and propped himself into a sitting position on the couch.

Nesta was still catching her breath besides him and the swift peek he’d gotten between her slightly spread legs, of her swollen sex, had almost tempted him to taste her one last time before he had to be off. Almost, because before he could do anything, Nesta had reached down and dressed herself in that damned gown again.

Before he could rise as well, and cool down to get rid of his hardness, Nesta had gotten on her knees between his open legs, sucking him down her throat. It hadn’t taken him very long to explode in her mouth, his hands holding her hair back while he fucked it with a frenzy. She’d taken every thrust, and swallowed his release while continuing to work her mouth around him.

Her eyes had looked up at him wickedly as her tongue had chased him from the side of pleasure to overstimulation and he had twitched against her hold.

They hadn’t shared a goodbye but Nesta had kissed him swiftly, brutally, with the taste of himself still on her tongue before walking away.

“What?,” she snapped, pulling him from his lewd thoughts.

“Nothing,” he said, scraping his dish clean. He picked up the bag he’d brought with him and made his way to the kitchen to clean up.

It was only after he’d washed his dishes and placed the leftover food in the icebox did he call out to Nesta to join him. She hadn’t moved right away but after a few breaths he’d heard a shuffle, the closing of a book and she’d soon appeared in the kitchen doorway.

“What?” Clipped. And a hint of annoyance if he’d read the rest of her posture correctly.

“Aren’t you charming? Is the book getting good? Did I interrupt an upcoming smut scene?”

He opened the white box’s packaging and Nesta took a seat opposite him from the center island.

“It already happened. They were going at it again.”

“How refreshing,” he chuckled with a wink. Nesta rolled her eyes.

“So I know how you are about your chocolate cake, but you have to try this one. I picked it up from a bakery up north and trust me, you’ve never had anything like it before.” He placed a generous slide onto the cake plate and pushed it towards her, handing her the fork she always favored.

Nesta didn’t eat it. She only surveyed the white cream and strawberry jam in between the large cake layers with barely concealed disdain. Strange. To his knowledge, she liked strawberries fine enough. And cake was always a welcome dessert for her.

“Where is it from?”

“Erm, Miyola. It’s a small town between these two hills in the northern Steppes. I know the baker there. I haven't had a chance to go in a while but I was nearby for the work I was doing with that Illyrian king, so I decided to drop by on the way home.”

She picked up her fork, spearing the center of the cake, but still not eating it.

“This baker is your…friend.”

She stated it but Cassian heard the question in her voice.

“Yes,” he answered, confused. A sort of friend that he’d known for a couple decades. Nothing like Azriel or Rhys, which were more family than friends at this point. But still, a good friend who made great pastries. And always gave him some extra for free when he left.

Nesta’s eyes narrowed. “Just friends? It’s a very nice cake.”

“Yes,” he answered again, irritation beginning to spike in him. Gods but he was tired.

Nesta reached down to her lap before procuring a small piece of paper, all but throwing it at him.

“It fell from your bag when you came home.”

Cassian read it in silence, quickly realizing what Nesta was probably thinking.

“It’s not…”

“She doesn’t seem to be very set on being just friends, don’t you think?”

Nesta’s glare was murderous.

Layla, the baker he’d met a century ago had been a fun, heated tryst that had quickly fizzled out. Or so he’d thought. And when he had dropped by this past week, his thoughts of their past nights had been a fleeting memory. Perhaps he should have explained the cake was for Nesta, his…

Well she wasn't really his anything. Not between them or amongst the rest of the world. She’d made that much clear the first time they’d slept together. A very formidable  line had been drawn, by her, making it known to him that it was just sex. Just for fun. And only while she was staying with him in Illyria. That it had nothing to do with romance, or care, or anything outside of base lust and desire. Which he could understand if it was any other female besides Nesta. If it had been any other female, he would have gladly accepted the agreement, and while he still had, a large part of him had felt empty at the thought. That it was all they would ever be. So for her to question this situation, question them when there really wasn’t a them - well it clawed at some already fraying part of him.

“Is that a problem?” He couldn’t help the snap in his words, the teeth he had to keep himself from baring.

If she wanted to play games, he could too. Nesta didn’t expect that and her spine stiffened, practically begging her to fight back. Bite back even. But he knew she wouldn’t answer truthfully. Because to do so would mean admitting that this thing between them was something real, something more than what she was lying to herself about. And the best thing she always did was run from the truth.

“Of course not. Why should I have a problem who you invite to your bed? I was just curious since you said- no, you lied, about who she was.”

“I didn’t-,” Cassian caught himself, taking in a ragged breath. So that’s what they would do tonight. Fight. He was in no mood for it.

“She’s a friend. I didn’t lie about it. And even if she wasn't, why do you care?”

Her spine went ramrod straight and she took in a quick breath, eyes blazing with simmering fury.

“I don’t,” came her strained reply.

Sure.

“So eat the cake.”

She waved her hand, ignoring him. “I don’t care. I don’t control you. I’m not stopping you from whatever you want with her. If you’d like to even bring her here and fuck her, why should I care?” Nesta got up, getting shriller and shriller with each passing word. “I don’t care one bit Cassian. Don’t stop on my account. While you’re at it, why not become reacquainted with all of your old friends? Females just seem to throw themselves at you left and right, don’t they?”

“They do, actually,” Cassian retorted. “I didn’t think you’d give a shit though. You don't about anything else.”

Nesta seemed to startle at his sudden outburst, but she quickly recovered.

“Well how great that’ll be then. You can go to one of them now and stop panting after me.”

“I wasn’t aware you were so miserable,” he deadpanned.

She smirked, crooning. “Males’ egos are truly a thing of wonder. You aren’t doing anything for me that I can’t do for myself with my own hand.”

Cassian laughed darkly. “Let’s not get into all the things I do to you. With my hands or otherwise.”

A faint blush stained her cheeks at that but she didn’t back down. She opened her mouth, readying for her next attack, but Cassian interrupted it.

He tried softer this time. “Don’t be cruel, it doesn't suit you.”

“Doesn’t it?,” she snapped.

Cassian shrugged then. “Jealousy definitely doesn’t. You would know if there were any other females around me in that way. You’d smell it on me.”

She shook her head. “I’m not jealous. I already told you, I don’t-.”

“Yes I got it the first time. You don’t care. Are you done now?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

Cassian had to laugh at that. “Are you done, Nesta? Have you had enough?”

Eyes narrowed in contempt, arms crossed over her chest in lovely defiance, she was the most beautiful creature he’d ever laid eyes on.

Cassian took a bite of the cake. “You’re persistent, I’ll give you that. And you don’t quit. I’d admire it if I wasn’t so tired. And I’d encourage it if I wasn’t already in a piss poor mood. Gods know I don’t need any excitement for a while.”

She blinked, unmoving, but quiet. So he continued, finishing up his dessert.

“But we do this, don’t we? You pick a fight with something that isn’t really an issue. I say something, you say something worse, I say something back, you get upset. You cry and then I’m the asshole that has to apologize for something you started. Or did I miss something?”

She knew he was right, but Nesta wouldn’t say it. Nesta wouldn’t say a lot of things. So instead he reached across the table, and pushed her plate further towards her.

“Eat the damn cake, Nesta. I brought it for you.”

She did. With just enough contempt that she might have scratched the plate with her fork from her first bite. But she did it. And eventually she had a second slice too, Cassian noted with a small feeling of victory.

“What’s her name?”

Gods save him, not this again.

“Nesta, I don’t-.”

She held up a hand, almost placating him. “I’m not trying to start a fight. I just wanted to know her name.”

Cassian hesitated for a moment. “Layla.”

“Pretty,” she noted quietly, moving the fork around her empty plate.

“Yes,” he murmured, cleaning up, and trying his best not to stare too much at Nesta, in case she spooked and ran from him again.

“Is she? Pretty, I mean.” Nesta’s voice was soft and too fragile for his liking. She wouldn’t look at him as she asked.

“Yes,” he admitted slowly. And she was. He couldn’t deny it. And even if he lied, Nesta would know. She always knew when he lied.

Nesta left then.

He argued with himself the entire way up the stairs and to her door. To talk to her, soothe her worries, and reassure her that there was no one else for him. But to do that would mean acknowledging that there was something here of enough substance where another female might present a problem.

Nesta would never accept that.

Still he knocked, and even though she didn’t and wouldn’t respond, he let himself in.

“New book?”

She didn’t look up once, sprawled out on her stomach, with her feet to the head of the bed.

“Old book. Rereading it.”

At least she spoke to him. He supposed they were no longer in that rough place anymore where he would have to worry about her stoic silence. She rarely iced him out since staying with him. Rarely felt the need to resort to it, even with some of their worst fights. This, he could work with.

He sat down beside her, trying his best, and failing, to keep the peace.

“You’re beautiful,” he finally said after a pregnant pause.

She clicked her tongue. “Is that why you’re here? I don’t need that from you. I’ve been told I had a face fit to marry a king since I was eight. This isn’t news for me.”

Of course it wasn’t. People had to be blind to not know that Nesta was stunning. Becoming Fae had only heightened it to being otherwordly.

“Well, then you should know that just because Layla-.” She clicked her tongue, shutting him up. She didn’t want to talk about this. But he couldn't leave it so cold and open. Especially not when he knew exactly what sorts of thoughts were probably racing in her head.

“Nesta,” he murmured, hoping she’d at least look at him before he threw his heart out in front of her, yet again. She had a habit of stomping the life out of it, but he prayed one last time, that maybe she wouldn’t.

She closed her book then, turning onto her back to look up at him. Her hair fanned out behind her and Cassian couldn’t resist carding through the tresses softly, gently, with so much hesitation it was a wonder he didn’t tremble too.

There was something about Nesta that terrified Cassian. Not the stone cold facade or the cutting words. He could take a hit or two to his ego, and with Nesta, it was more entertaining for him than anything else. But he had faced foes on battlefields for centuries, had killed and maimed without much thought, and never once had he encountered someone like her.

The brute strength and the efficiently cutting violence that he could easily execute with had always helped him as a soldier. As a general. And then as commander. Never had it been a weakness to deter from until he’d met Nesta.

Then, suddenly, all his largeness, all his brash, booming loudness had become dangerous. To her. For her. Gods knew she had the temper and fire inside to match his own, and to meet every shredding, stupid thing he said to her with her own poison. But it wasn’t the same and he knew it.

The fragility that she hid behind a beautiful, almost impenetrable mask scared him. As if he may one day, accidentally, shatter her irreversibly, if he wasn’t careful. So he tried again this time, trying and willing the words to form in the gentlest way possible to deal with this storm of a woman laid out in front of him.

“I don’t know what you want from me. I can’t guard you from reality even though I’d like to. There will always be another Layla if you go looking hard enough. And knowing you, you tend to go looking for heartbreak just so you can swing first.”

Cassian didn’t miss the fact that her storm-grey eyes began to fill with tears, but he had to commend her grit in not letting them fall.

“Is it not enough if I tell you there is no one else? Not now, not for a very long time, and not anytime in the future as long as you wish it.”

She laughed, but it was a hollow, broken sound. “I never asked for your loyalty.”

“You have it anyhow.”

A stray tear leaked out and Cassian’s hand flexed automatically to reach over and wipe it away. He held himself back only for a moment, judging whether or not it would shatter this delicate moment. Another tear leaked out and Cassian gently wiped it off then. Nesta nuzzled against his hand and it took everything in him to not pull her towards him.

“I never asked anything of you,” she whispered into the heart of his palm. 

“I know.”

“So why do you keep giving?”

Cassian smoothed her hair, stroking her cheek. “Because I can. Because I want to. I guess you’ll just have to deal with it.”

She froze as he leaned down over her, before softening against him.

“I suppose so,” she whispered against his lips.

Cassian kissed her gently, even though his soul had been wholly consumed by her. Perhaps it would never be enough time in this world for him to show her how much she mattered to him, how much he cared. But for now, this would do.

~*~

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