#cassian's is a healing arc still waiting to happen

[queercontrarian]

one more sweet boy to be butchered by men

@cassianappreciationweek Day 5: Scars

some scars take a very long time to heal.

title from hozier's swan upon leda

for this prompt i wanted to explore a confrontation between a grown up cassian and his child self, a past that is so far removed from him yet one that still heavily affects him over five hundred years later. a little boy forced to fend for himself and a general putting weapons into the hands of children just like him. how can his scars heal when he sees the same wounds reflected in his people every day?

for some reason i feel like the sketch just hits harder. if you're interested in that drawing you can find it under the cut here

[vidalinav]

Rant Obvi... This time about age gaps

Now that I’m writing a fic where the bat boys are the age they were during The War and thus wayyy younger and more mentally similar to the Archeron sisters, I wonder why SJM made the age gap so obvious... and also so large. 

Like for me personally every time Feyre doesn’t actively show that she’s involved in court politics or not in a meeting with the IC or having sex after she has a disagreement and that being highlighted as a regular occurrence for Feysand, and when she’s disadvantaged in any way with her decision being last as opposed to first or them looking to Rhysand for confirmation to listen to her whether it had a rational/reasoning or not, WITH the added baby plot, both her not knowing about the risk and then ALSO getting pregnant at 23 when in previous books she’d said she’d wanted to wait and Rhys himself was scared she’d resent him because she was so young, I notice the age gap. I can’t ignore the age gap. The age gap whether meaning to or not makes a problem and the text enforces that problem because it’s never taken care of, never disputed with evidence. We see Feyre being more disadvantaged in this book then we ever see her being given some sort of power. In theory she has power, but no evidence that has she has true equality. 

In ACOSF, when Nesta was making friends with people mostly her age, them bonding over similar experiences, similar mind frames, hobbies, even doing maybe more childish things like making friendship bracelets, having sleepovers, this is juxtaposed with her relationship with Cassian who is supposed to be “the real man” in her narrative and also the instructor/trainer and also the keeper because he is the one who’s supposed to watch her during this intervention which she doesn’t have a choice really about, (because having bad options is not a choice, as proven many times even past the actual intervention). She has no money, and she has no place to go, which he is then plotted to be her emotional stability in a time where she is not emotionally stable, and every time she disagrees with him and they have an argument, he lacks control of his emotions even being the older person and then doesn’t apologize in the text and the text doesn’t make him accountable, but Nesta is accountable. Nesta feels guilty. Nesta feels ashamed, whether her feelings are caused directly by him or not. And then Nesta consistently puts him on a pedestal that he doesn’t deserve, and none of this contradicted because Cassian neither acts her age, nor is not advantaged by the situation, nor has the growth needed to show that perhaps he is learning to be better.

Then we have possibly Gwynriel/Elriel scenarios, but both of them have the same issue. Because we have a rather toxic male figure, who is stereotypically troubled, who is going to fall in love with one of these girls, when he has had an unhealthy obsession over his best friends that he’s never gotten over. Both of these girls are seemingly in a bad place. Both of these girls don’t have a lot of control. Elain doesn’t have control over anything, which she is trying to negate. And Gwyn is afraid of the world, which you know of course growth. And even though either relationships could potentially be about collective healing, because we already know Azriel has a very skewed perspective and relishes in torture, also never voices his troubles, but glues himself to an idea of a woman that can never be fufilled... it doesn’t point in a very good direction. 

So then I ask why make them so old? Why not plan for them to be young? The War lasted 7 years. Make them 100 as opposed to 536, and cast it off as fae grow idk slower. OR make their mind frames and their attitudes not so blatantly older than their love interests. Or make a scenario where the women are not obviously disadvantaged. I hate to be that person and I never thought I would be that would say that SJM whether she knows it or not is writing some OVERTLY problematic things. And it’s not something that can just pushed off as character flaws or world building or misinformation, because it’s happened more than once and it’s not actively negated. It’s not these characters are bad, it’s these characters are written like that because SJM is not paying attention. I think she needs to examine some of her values, or at least what she conveys aware of it from the start or not. It takes more than giving women power (and then taking it away) and making them warriors to show that women have complex narratives. 

Why the lack of healthcare in this world for women? (i.e. Feyre and Emerie). Why the constant assault on women, to a point where they have a library full of SA survivors? Why is it that the only LGBT character must hide who she is I’m assuming in direct result to the actions of a male character? Why the emphasis that only these female characters need a healing arc, but god forbid the male characters have any growth or do anything but supply the D? Why no women rulers in Prythrian up until Feyre, when there’s so many human queens assumedly having power? What story is SJM trying to write? What is so empowering about this? I have heard that so many times. Show me the empowerment. Show me how she writes progressively. Show me where the healing is.

Tell me why I am still reading this series. Like for real? 

[princessofmerchants]

ACOSF SPOILERS

I am ready to make a first pass at theorizing who I think will be the featured characters in the remaining books 🧐

Earlier tonight I posted an inventory of all of the POVs that have been featured in all of the ACOTAR books we have so far.

This was a super helpful exercise because I now think I can see a logical way forward that maximizes SJM's freedom to be creative, lets her reveal her final pairings at the latest possible moment (great for selling books), and offers a path through the plotlines she started in ACOSF.

My predictions below are heavily influenced by the patterns I saw through listing all the POVs in the post linked above.

They are also based on where I think SJM is taking the meta story arc (Koschei), when I think that meta arc will resolve, and by whom (more on my ideas on this here).

For posterity, I am going to share my current predictions now, acknowledging I may change my mind well before the next book is confirmed.

Here are my current predictions for whose POVs will be featured in the books after ACOSF (which was ACOTAR 4), and in what order; the POVs I indicate will point to the romantic pairings in each (with a slight exception for the first in the list):

ACOTAR 4.5 (shorter novella) — Mor will be primary POV with Azriel a featured POV as well. Story will take place both in the present and in the past. We'll learn through Mor's POV what happened between her, Eris, and Azriel at the border of the Autumn Court 500 years ago. We might also get glimpses of the first war through Mor's perspective, experience aspects of her love story with Andromache, and meet Miryam and Drakon (and maybe Jurian) in the past. Most importantly, this book will include Mor coming out to Azriel, and them talking through and taking the first steps toward healing from 500 years of angst and deception. Book resolves with the beginning of a romance between Mor and Emerie, which hopefully will have time to develop and become established by the end of the book. This comes about by Mor training with the Valkyries in the present after she wraps up her current work in Vallahan, in conjunction with finally telling Azriel about her sexuality. This book may introduce POVs from Emerie, Gwyn, Elain, and Lucien, but given the focus of the book, the latter two would be more likely as bonus chapters (not necessarily in relation to each other), if SJM could get away with bonus chapters in a novella. Nesta and Cassian POVs might also make brief appearances. This book, while resolving in a well-deserved romantic pairing for Mor, I think will primarily be centered on her, and will be her healing journey, as opposed to following the formula for a traditional romance.

ACOTAR 5 (full-length novel): Azriel will be one of the two primary POVs for this next book. The other primary POV will be either Gwyn or Elain. SJM gets to wait until the announcement of this book to show her final ship cards, especially if she continues to drop breadcrumbs for each of the possible endgame ships in the novella. Again, the novella would feature Azriel in Mor's healing journey, which would set the foundation for his own, but this next full-length novel is where his own main journey will play out. The plot-related conflict will be something related to Illyria, so that part of his journey will require him to come to terms with his Illyrian heritage, and I secretly think whatever the plot-conflict is, Koschei will still be the puppetmaster pulling the strings from his enchanted lake on the continent. If Lucien has not yet had his POV featured in the books, he would most certainly get at least a bonus chapter in this one to set up for the next book. If the Azriel romantic pairing winds up being Gwyn, Elain's POV would also be featured to some extent in this book as well.

ACOTAR 6 (full-length novel): Lucien will be one of the two main POVs for this book, and it will encompass a creative adaptation of The Firebird story in which Lucien, with his romantic partner, will journey to the continent, and defeat Koschei. If his romantic pairing winds up being with Elain, she will have the other primary POV in this story. This, then, would be Elain's book. (If she is meant to be with Azriel, the book before this would be Elain's book, though she would be sharing it with Azriel).

SPECIAL NOTE: Whichever book is Elain's book, despite the fact that my predictions lead with the male counterpart, I feel confident SJM will in fact write and develop the story to center Elain moreso than the male in the story. (I want this to be the case, and based on what we have heard from SJM, I feel confident she will lead with Elain over her male romantic counterpart, because she thrives when writing the stories of strong female characters.)

That's where my head is right now. The Mor novella as the next book feels to me like a very strong possibility, so that is my current working theory on what book is coming next and what its focus will be.

I'd love to hear others' thoughts on these theories and predictions! 🤓 (reply here or my asks are open✌🏻)

[luciensfox]

ACOSF Thoughts...

Don’t read unless you wish to be spoiled! Here are some things I can’t get out of my head after finishing the book...

Well first and foremost, I absolutely adore Nessian (as I always have but now it’s even more so) and I’m incredibly pleased with the direction it seems that SJM is leading Nesta’s character development! I’ve always wanted a badass warrior Nesta and I got way more than I figured (short of her growing wings at any time as I think some Valkyrie myths depict, this is amazing/ especially with all of the parallels people drew with her and Enalius). She’s going to make for an interesting character in the coming books and dare I say...commander Nesta. Oh, yes.

Of course I’ve always been obsessed with Lucien and nothing has changed on that front, but I’m even more intrigued now because we still need so many answers. When will it be revealed that he’s the heir of the Day Court? What’s the standings between he and Tamlin? With Vassa and Jurian? With his mother/ brothers? His mate? We literally got only two or three scenes with Luc involved so I knew nothing would be resolved in this novella, however I’m even more excited to see how Eris will play into his character arc come the next story (because you cannot convince me that SJM would put more emphasis on Eris than Lucien in this book and not intend for some brotherly angst in the future). Eris is also an anomaly and maybe it’s because I’m obsessed with the mysterious nature of whatever the hell is happening in the Autumn Court, but I really can’t wait to see what’s up with him and the rest of his family. (Also....the ballroom scene with Nest and Eris dancing to what is supposed to reflect Black Swan was one of my absolute favorite scenes.) Does Eris secretly desire peace and wants to take over Autumn not for power but to make amends and heal/ bring back glory to his home? And what exactly happened with Mor? SJM put so much emphasis on that too and we still have no idea.

I LOVE Gwyneth and Emerie. The triad of Valkyries was honestly the best part of the whole book for me. I know everyone is quick to match up characters with potential romances/ mates etc and it sounds like that’s what will happen with these two...but let’s not forget that they’re incredibly strong characters on their own terms and I hope whatever comes about their arcs isn't entirely placed on their romance status. However, they both seem to want to find someone to be with which leads me to believe that Emerie and Mor will very likely end up together (if only for the fact that we got one sentences indicating Em finds Mor gorgeous....I guess we’ll have to wait and see what happens) and that Gwyn is going to be a potential interest for Azriel. 

I love Lucien so much, but my soft fox boy needs to heal and stop forcing himself to find romantic love when all he really needs is some self love. (So perhaps that will be his final journey....Lucien finally coming to terms with his trauma, settling ties with everyone from his past, and taking up his mental as Helion’s son and the future of the Day Court.) 

Elain seemed a bit OOC...and yet not at all? We’ve only got the chance to see the “sweet/ innocent” side of her, but it makes sense that she’s going to be a super complex character (SJM wouldn't have set her up so mysteriously if the intent was to leave her as a mere gardener) and that her journey in following books will show us a side of her we’ve never encountered. The Elriel ship has always been a confusing one for me, not because I don’t ship it but because there’s so much happening all the time that it’s hard to get a proper read on clues when SJM throws characters like Gwyn at us...coupled with the fact that Lucien seems to still be in love with Elain (or at least he’s just lonely and doesn't know how else to react, never mind whatever is happening with Vassa and Jurian), and that Az seems intent on getting with Elain....but Az also seems to be the type of character who falls in love deeply without considering a number of things. He’s driven by his desires and often hurt by them, hence his love for Mor. Notice how shortly after he started drifting from his desire for Mor, he started to desire Elain? Part of me wonders if it’s because he found the person he’s meant to be with...or if he felt attracted to her and she was a distraction to his pain and a means to help him get over Mor. Like I said, I don’t know which way I lean just yet but these are all possibilities!

Then there’s the Gwynriel ship--totally didn’t see that coming but I can’t say I don’t enjoy it. I love how Gwyn teases Az in a way that many others usually don’t dare, and that she’s another character with a history outside of the IC. While there’s a lot to consider, like the fact that Az’s shadows shy away when Elain is around but “dance” and seem to be overjoyed when Gwyn is nearby, I think a truly noticeable parallel to the pairing could be this:

Azriel is no stranger to unrequited love. In fact, that seemed to be his overarching characteristic for the first two books. Now that he’s found Elain and she also reciprocates their shared desire, it would be easy to pair them together. However, Gwyn seems to be interested in Azriel and Az can’t seem to figure out his standings with her other than being enticed and not realizing what’s in front of him because he’s so determined to be with Elain since “she’s the third sister and he the third brother” etc so it must make sense somehow even though Elain is mated. But Gwyn, to that extent, is no stranger to unrequited love either. 

Just imagine: Azriel finally cracks in the following book and shows a rare display of emotions to either Gwyn or the IC (or both) and Gwyn decides to confront him about facing his fears (his past with Mor, his current standings with Elain, his desire to have someone) by claiming that she knows exactly what unrequited love feels like because every day she stares at him and feels precisely as devastated as he did/does whenever he sees Mor or Elain. Az will probably be shocked to all hell and maybe it’ll snap him out of his misery enough to think clearly on the whole matter.

The Rhysand and Nesta friendship was something else I wasn’t expecting, didn’t necessarily think I’d want, but now am excited to see bloom. They definitely do share traits and I can’t help but remember how Rhys once compared Feyre to Cassian and how Nesta and Rhys might be the opposite counterparts since they’re both haughty and respond to things with incredibly heightened emotions because they love fiercely. 

This post is much longer than I’d intended but oh well, some other things for your consideration.....

A Varian/Amren x Nessian double date.

Nesta taking on a similar military role as Cassian and either leading a female unit of Illyrians/ Valkyries or sharing the brunt of Cassian’s job (plus come on... those two training together is essentially their respective version of foreplay and I’m so here for warrior Nessian bonding).

I hope we get to see that mating ceremony scene!

Also....does anyone remember Balthazar--the Illyrian who showed up for one scene and fell asleep on Nesta’s shoulder during the Blood Rite while he helped them find shelter? There’s no way SJM would’ve written in a character like that without intending for him to show up again in the future....

Koschei the deathless? Wonder what will occur there. 

Damn, if you’ve made it this far give yourself a pat on the back. 

[nestacorvere]

acosf rant review

i finished acosf a while ago and i just can´t stop thinking about it so this is an attempt to get it all off my chest cause i have a lot of thoughts. 

spoilers below the cut 

i read the first 6 chapters when they were “leaked” and honestly that just set the bar really low. all these years that i´ve waited for the book i always thought nesta was going to illyria and that she would be away from the inner circle (except for cassian and azriel). but then came those chapters and i realized the ic would actually be in the book and i was pissed. 

the first few chapters were hard to get through. what mor said about sending nesta to the court of nightmares (and cassian not saying anything about it), what amren said about putting her in the dungeons in hewn city made me want to through my phone across the room. sure, send a depressed person dealing with ptsd, which is something they have all gone through before, to a place where she´ll feel more tortured. yay that´s so smart. it will certainly make her feel better (/irony). 

also this thing feyre says and sjm apparently forgets about it throughout the book to make us believe feyre acted solely on nesta´s wellbeing. (i dont´t hate feyre yall it was just clear to me she had ulterior motives to send nesta away and that quote proves it)

“It is about how it reflects upon me, upon Rhys, and upon my court when my damned sister spends our money on wine and gambling and does nothing to contribute to this city! If my sister cannot be controlled, then why should we have the right to rule over anyone else?”

but then the part where nesta calls rhysand “an arrogant, preening asshole” got me laughing so much. this whole scene is a fucking disaster but that part was funny af. 

i only began to really like the book after the scene where nesta helps gwyn by trading the books in merrill´s office. when nesta trully smiled for the first time i literally teared up. 

also nesta´s friendship with the House was amazing. one of the best things in this book. and the whole “the house likes romance books” made me laugh all the time. 

“The book,” Nesta said, a bit breatlessly, “is about...” Her nostrils flared and her eyes went a bit unfocused. “A book”. 

“Interesting”, Cassian murmured, “Sounds great.” 

and this dialogue... pure gold. i’m also like that when i’m reading smut and someone asks me what the book is about hahaha. 

now another thing that bothered me:

“Because illyrians are backward and horrible”  

why is sjm constantly depicting the only POC in acotar as monsters? wht tf did she make them to be abusers? it´s a rhetorical question btw. i think we all know the answer. i´m a firm believer that even though this is a fantasy book, stereotypes like this are still damning and wrong. 

the fighting scene between cassian and azriel and nesta fantasizing about a threesome was funny and weird. i understand sjm wanted to show us who the threesome would be with if she hadn´t deleted it and it actually made me glad she did. it would not have fit the narrative at all.

the sex scenes were great in the beginning but then i got tired of them. i always get tired when there´s that much sex scenes and ik sjm warned us. but it was nessian so i made myself read and care about them. 

nesta´s power damn i was shook. i loved it. all the scenes that showed her power were absolutely amazing. 

now moving on to the worst part of the book. nesta Made the weapons. with her power. therefore they are her weapons. they happened to end in rhysands hands but that doesn´t give him, or feyre, or the ic the right to choose not to tell her about her weapons. the whole high king thing sjm threw out there just to make us see that hey rhysand is not bad yall he doesnt want to usurp power even though he has the weapons for it and his friends actually suggested it. amren could go to fucking hell for all i care after this. also for the things she say when nesta confronts her about it. 

when rhysand and all them found out the baby could kill feyre and didn´t tell her i was already pissed. who the fuck they think they are to deny her the information that she might die and that her son would likely die with her? nothing and no one has that right. not even her fucking mate. no one. i think it was wrong of nesta to tell her the way she did and to only do it out of anger. but i was actually fucking glad someone told her at all. and rhysand threatening to kill nesta only makes me more angry. even feyre can see it was because of the parallel she saw between them not telling her about the weapons and she isn´t even angry at nesta. but rhysand thinks he has the right to be angry after not telling his mate she could die? oh fuck off. 

i actually enjoyed the major plot of this book. the dread trove thing, the queen and koschei was actually pretty interesting to me and i wasn´t bored. it actually made me more interested to read the next books. i had promised myself i would be done with sjm after acosf cause all i ever cared about was nesta but i might keep reading cause i enjoyed this plot. 

since i´ve talked about the worst part (to me) let´s talk about the best parts now. nesta´s, emerie´s and gwyn´s friendship was absolutely everything to me. i love them all so much. i was just so happy to see nesta happy and i fell in love with emerie and gwyn as well. i also love nessian and although some things they said to each other and the way cassian behaved toward nesta in some scenes didn´t really make me happy, i will always love this couple. i just like the version in my mind and fanfics better. and nesta´s whole healing arc was amazing to me. it made me so so proud of her.  

azriel´s present to nesta made me soft. i love them so much omg i wished they had interacted more.  

the scene where it´s revealed nessian are mated is so heartcrushing. it made me sad to see cassian say he was “shackled” to her because she had already admited she felt unworthy of his love and by saying that he just made her feel it all over again. sad sad sad sad sad. i actually cried. 

the whole blood rite thing to me was only to prove to us readers that nesta was strong even without her powers and it was preparing us for what would come. that being said i actually liked it. i think the bond the girls created there and nesta realizing how strong she was made it worth it. 

now to the ending. i unfortunately read spoilers of the ending before i finished the book. so throughout it was already preparing myself for that scene. i think that was part of the reason that i wasn´t pissed by the end of the book. i don´t think power means strenght and i also believe nesta is strong regardless of her power. but i just loved her power, you know. i don´t think she´s any less strong now because everything she learned makes her strong in a different way. but i was just sad. it made me think sjm just didn´t want anyone more powerful than rhysand. 

also sjm really made nesta think of rhysand as her brother, seriously. out of nowhere. he never did one good thing toward her. never. and he also didn´t apologize for the bad things he did. no one apologized actually. nesta and feyre were the only one´s that actually said they were sorry and that realized they were wrong. sjm made nesta apologize to everyone. but only one person apologized to her.  disappointed but not surprised. 

i think that´s all i have to say. this book was truly a rollercoast of emotions to me. i was angry, sad, i laughed, i cried (of sadness and of happiness) and in the end i was just happy. all the things i wrote here were because i couldn´t stop thinking about the book after i finished it and i started realizing some stuff. but i still loved it. nesta is my favorite character and in the end i´m just happy she´s happy. 

[illyrianbeauty]

What do you think of Nessian after acofas?

ACOFAS SPOILERS!! DO NOT READ IF YOU HABE NOT READ THE BOOK!! 

Ok….. So my Nessian heart broke into a million pieces as I was reading this book!! I honestly cried when I learned that Nesta had lost her virginity to a random fae!! 

But… I totally understand where she is coming from. She is dealing with some really traumatic events in an unhealthy way.  She is in pain. She doesn’t know how to deal with what she has experienced and she resents those around her for being able to move on with their lives when she can’t. She is a complex character and I totally love her!! I can relate to her so much! I watched my father die as well, and it had a huge impact on my life. I went down a dark road…. I used unhealthy coping mechanisms similar to how Nesta did. It took a ver scary event to wake my ass up. Nesta is not perfect and she is not dealing well, but that does not make her a bad person, or fae I should say. lol 

I really hope that we see a Nesta healing arc in the next book….. I still hold out hope that she and Cassian will be together, but they have a long way to go before that happens.  They need time to heal individually as well as together.  I think that the next book will be similar to Heir of Fire in that it will show Nesta’s healing process.  I love, love, love Nesta’s character and can’t wait to see what is in store for her!! 

Thanks for the ask Nonnie!!!

ASK ME

[maevelin]

1/2 What I found so difficult to grasp in acowar (I hated the entire trilogy, although acotar had a lot of potential), was that Feyre didn't fight. It completely contradicts her whole arc and journey up till that point. Acomaf was her realising that she wanted to play a part in the war, she wanted to fight to defend her sisters and Prythian. One of her biggest arguments with Tamlin revolved around that. She spent acomaf learning how to fight, how to use her powers. Except she didn't.

2/2 Worse, she didn’t want to. The only reason SJM did this was because she wanted a satellite to showcase what was going on and Feyre was right there for her to use. All seven of the High Lords fought, but the High Lady, who was supposed to be the strongest, didn’t. She spent her time observing and being with her mate. That’s all she did. Even her actions in the Spring Court turned against her. I hated ACOWAR for many reasons, but that was definitely one of my top ones.

—

ACOWAR was a mess in many ways. I don’t hate the trilogy (except Acowar lol) but I do think it is awfully overrated. Generally speaking SJM has the tendency to hype things to an epic extent and in the end, she just can’t deliver (anyone remembers the riddle in the first book? lol). It is beyond her writing capabilities in my opinion. She does have a vision that should it be executed correctly it would indeed give a great pay off that obviously, the execution was bad. There was no substance. No real stakes. No loss that gave no realism whatsoever so everything was just polished (as a conclusion because the writing and the editing were anything but) and easy. No substance. Most of the things were convenient and anticlimactic. Basically, we had so many pages leading to a halfhearted lukewarm narration because everything was more telling than showing. You could take out 1/3 of the book and it would be the same. In the end, all the buildup and led to a sloppy mess.

That been said I didn’t mind that Feyre didn’t fight. Yes, the first person PoV can limit some of the options to the writers that don’t know how to use it correctly so SJM used -badly- Feyre’s voice as a satellite around everything as you pointed out.

But in the narrative, it wasn’t exactly out of reason. Yes, everything before that seemed to be leading there. But the issue Feyre had with Tamlin was not that he was not letting her fight exactly. It was the lack of choice. She had no voice. She had no options. She was not free to decide if she was going to fight or not. That was decided for her and in the end what she wanted, what she thought, what she felt had no importance and was sidelined. Feyre breaking free from that and eventually deciding for herself not to fight was as empowering as it would be for her to fight. Because it was her decision and hers alone. 

Yes she is a massive weapon given the powerhouse she turned to be (and I have things to say about this that fall to the Mary Sue special snowflake department but I digress) and under a different leadership her powers could have been applied far more effectively but in the end Feyre’s worth was not defined by her powers and she was not treated as an object to win a war. Should she have been? Given how this war was described and the lack of options and what would happen if they lost (which they knew very well) and how it was a matter of desperately needing all hands on deck and not having the luxury of stepping back…mmm… It is a big discussion. That can bring arguments both in favor of it and against such a decision. Military wise it was one of the book’s weaknesses in the way it was handled anyway. Everything about this war was simplified and romanticized and didn’t add up with what we were told it was going to be or what it was presented to be.

The thing, however, is that Feyre was just 20 years old. She was and is too young. She barely had been able to tap into her powers and their potential. She had been traumatized and was still healing and struggling. She had never been in a war. It is easy to say ‘but why didn’t she fight’ but it is not so simple. She had never been inside an army. She never knew the horrifying reality of it. Sure, in theory, it was easy to say I’ll fight but the reality of it was different. Taking a very young inexperienced civilian (from another country to add to that) that has no understanding of what war means, has never been into a bloody battlefield and has no training whatsoever when it comes to this and throwing them into the field and expecting them to go for the slaughter and act like a badass soldier and even more so as a badass leader is far more unrealistic and I feel many people would also jump at the opportunity to point that out. It seems that in some cases Feyre can’t win no matter what she does or how she acts and by extension neither can SJM. But the truth is that into the battlefield someone like Feyre could be instead of an asset a liability. 

My issue in Acowar was not that Feyre didn’t fight but how everyone else fought and acted or didn’t. 

How these people won the war is something beyond my understanding. I am even putting the extreme powers, everyone conveniently has, aside. In the end, wars are won by careful planning and strategy. Did we see anything of that at any point? They were all acting like headless chicken running around.There was disarray. Everyone was doing what they wanted without any consistency or consequence. This was meant to be a tight teamwork under strong leadership. Did we actually see that? 

Rhysand had no plan really. He winged most of all and somehow his hidden agendas and ‘plans’ that were treated as “hey I have a secret ace in my sleeve that I haven’t told anyone about. Surprise!’ and were delivered as twists and it was just a sloppy mess. 

Azriel was able to infiltrate the Hybern camp so easily with no worry for the consequences and what it would mean for the outcome of the war if he died or was captured (given his position along with Feyre’s) or what it would mean if he went into the battlefield injured (imagine that) but then this was pointed as heroic instead of plain stupid. Yeah yeah they saved Elain and it was important but we are talking about a WAR here. 

Cassian was meant to be THE General. The Commander. He was instead a suicidal idiot that instead of leading the armies he was all over the place. Generals like him lose wars. 

Morrigan is my main issue here. Feyre not fighting made sense. You know what didn’t make any sense whatsoever? The fact that in the previous books it was hyped that she was THE Morrigan. That in the previous war she made a name for herself. That she had this awesome power that made her a legend. That in the battlefield this would be one of the saving graces that could win any war. Please do tell me what Morrigan’s power is? Really I want to know. I may have missed it somehow. What was her extraordinary value in the field? She fought yes. She supposedly has moves. Good. And we were told that she did and how good she is in combat. Great sure. I am not devaluing it but the writing itself did. Because the trilogy was not leading to that anticlimactic performance that basically gave no answers to the questions and the hype that surrounded Morrigan. Did you see the Night Court’s Third in Command anywhere in the book and more so in the final battle? I am not even here to address Rhysand’s constant vile treatment that deprived her her choices and her options and even her leadership (which was Feyre’s issue with Tamlin but here for The Night Court’s third in command it was just swept under the rug). But really. What was Morrigan’s extraordinary indomitable might everyone feared? Because if she had all that power that even the King of Hybern had seen in Acomaf and was in awe of then what was she waiting for? Why didn’t ANYONE had a strategy here? Why didn’t she used it? She was an awesome kickass fighter but so were all the soldiers that fought out there. What made her so different? They got to the point where they were losing the war and we didn’t see Morrigan being THE Morrigan. Morrigan that is centuries old. Morrigan that had fought in wars and was actually fighting in that one too. The Morrigan you know. Really…I couldn’t believe what I was reading or what I wasn’t reading for that matter.

In the end, everyone had an idea (usually wacky and stupid) and were like let us do that. Sure Jan. Go for it. It is not as if there is anyone taking charge and actually leading.

And do not get me started on how everyone was stopping in the middle of the battle to frigging CHAT! Like are you kidding me? Go and gossip and babble in your free time you idiots! 

Like seriously! It was no wonder that Elain was able to freely and easily take a walk through the battlefield and stab the King. No one else would have been able to do it anyway. It was not just the element of surprise. It was basic incompetence. From all sides concerned.

Not to mention that their half-assed master plan with the cauldron almost destroyed the world/universe because you know they were so clever about it. Which showed in the way they handled themselves in the war and in the whole book really. I mean I shouldn’t have expected much from the people that had as a great plan to show their ‘true’ selves instead of their ridiculous asshole facade and not stay calm in one meeting and couldn’t do that. And while they couldn’t decide with their mean girl invitations where they would meet and what they would wear the King of Hybern ‘ambushed them’ and acted faster which was such a surprise and such a twist.Who would have thought? Right? Riiiiight.

And then the actual war came and …sigh…

I kid you not I kept reading and for the most part when I was not rolling my eyes I was like…morons. 

That sentiment has not really gone away tbh. And that is not even me talking about the other parts of the book that made me salty like the OOC and the suicide pacts and the nonsense in general. 

[allthebooksbefore]

a court of mist and fury / sarah j. maas

book #19 of 2021 started: april 9th finished: may 16th

reading further contains spoilers

what it's about: "feyre survived amarantha's clutches to return to the spring court - but at a steep cost. though she now has the powers of the high fae, her heart remains human, and it can't forget the terrible deeds she performed to save tamlin's people. nor has feyre forgotten her bargain with rhysand, high lord of the feared night court. as feyre navigates its dark web of politics, passion, and dazzling power, a greater evil looms - and she might be key to stopping it. but only if she can harness her harrowing gifts, heal her fractured soul, and decide how she wishes to shape her future - and the future of a world torn apart."

what i liked: i tore through most of this pretty quickly, but then hit a busy handful of weeks at work, so i put it aside after part two. wanted to be fully present to read the rest of it, and finally finished it this afternoon. ughhhhhh it was soooooooo gooooooooood. probably a result of the large coffee i had earlier, but i was literally shaking with nervous energy from the moment feyre & co infiltrated the king of hybern's castle for the cauldron right through to the end. feyre grew a lot in this book, both as a person and through her depression, and it was wonderful to see. one particular moment that i thought showed her growth pretty well was when she ran off after learning rhys was her mate (side note, think we all saw that one coming). it annoyed me that she got angry over the fact that no one told her, because at that point she should have recognized the intention there, but she eventually did work out the why, and to her credit, pretty quickly. another moment that showed growth was her realization that her and tamlin really only had a physical connection as she started developing relationships with rhysand, mor, amren, cassian and azriel. it was commendable that she felt guilt over leaving tamlin, but she ultimately recognized that he and the spring court were not right for her. on another note, i love rhys as a character. he is this high lord of darkness, and can really feel that and hone in on that, but is innately good. i love how he knows who he needs to be at any given moment and is always a step ahead in some way, even if he is taken off guard. he also holds such respect and high regard for everyone who deserves/earns it, no matter who or what they are (he made feyre a high lady?!?!!!!) third, i loved the whole summer court fiasco, when amren and feyre went in to steal the first half of the book of breathings. i loved how feyre's earlier favor to the water faeries ended up coming back to save her and amren here, and how feyre and amren worked together and grew a bit closer after this whole ordeal. fourth - i like how feyre's sisters are now high fae. kind of had a feeling it would happen in some way after nesta and cassian had this immediate banter with each other when they met (think it's pretty obvious that eventually we'll get around to their mating bond, and an end to this muddled triangle between cassian, mor and azriel. although nesta actually reminds me a bit of amren, so those two getting together would be a bit of a plot twist). it also makes so much sense for who nesta is as a person. as i said in my post about the first book, she is strong and tough and cold. she has all the makings of what humans perceive fae to be, but in human form. the fact that she entered the cauldron kicking and screaming and emerged the same way, with wrath and revenge and cunning in her eyes.... UGH. i can't wait to see her develop as a character and as high fae. also excited to see what her relationship with feyre will be like going forward. will they grow closer? nesta has become the very thing she hated (though surprisingly tolerated) - will feyre help her out with that? nesta and elain becoming fae also makes sense with regard to how they're going to fit into feyre's life going forward. i am itching to start book three, but i think i need a break to process... still reeling from the ending of this one. feyre infiltrating the spring court will be a wild ride.

other commentary: (1) i'm still silently rooting for lucien. i do like him, and can understand/respect why he is loyal to tamlin, but it's really to a fault. you can tell he wants to do the right thing... hopefully being mated to elain will finally ignite some kind of fire in him to do what he really wants. in line with that... tamlin. as annoying as he is, i hope he has somewhat of a redemption arc as a character. dude has no idea what he’s doing. he has no backbone, nor does he take any risks, all out of fear. that goes for his time under the mountain (staying silent at amarantha's side), within himself (locking feyre up and all of his empty promises), and how he rules his court (the tithe - the direct act of taking from his own people for his personal gain, and how he explained to feyre that he doesn't necessarily like it, but it's tradition - DUDE.... you have the power to change that?!) even the bargain he made with hybern and everything he learned during that fiasco there... he really has NO CLUE what he's doing. he needs to smarten up and figure out what kind of person/ruler he wants to be. (2) i'm wondering if the high lords of each court will automatically have a mating bond with feyre (though not necessarily her with them), since she is an amalgamation of all seven courts. the bond with her and rhys has been there since before the novel started, so that's one. could be another explanation for tamlin's unrelenting obsession with getting her back, so that's two. tarquin was clearly interested in her, so potentially three. haven't really thought it through in relation to the other courts, so just a theory to throw out there. (3) feyre's father has been gone for a suspiciously long time. nesta and elain told feyre he was away doing business... did they lie? did they send him away for safety? did their father join a movement to destroy the fae? or did their father lie... knew war was coming, and ran like a coward, hoping that feyre would protect her sisters? or did he make a deal with the devil and is working for more evil forces... or for tamlin? was he taken by the king of hybern, as a slave or for future bait? (4) i'm excited to see how feyre continues to develop her powers. she’s only able to draw upon them in moments of life or death, so it’s obvious that she needs to continue learning the full extent of what she’s capable of, and be able to practice it when she is not in distress. interestingly, she seems to have only used her night court (darkness), spring court (shapeshifting) and summer court (water) powers - the only three courts she has spent time in. i wonder if she needs to visit the other courts to hone in on her other powers.

what i didn't like: first, when feyre and rhys finally got together at the cabin. thought some parts were a little cringey, but i'm not really bothered by it, it's very true to romance novels so it is what it is. second - i'm not fully comprehending what, exactly, the king of hybern's ultimate goal is? destroying the wall, removing high lords from power, beguiling the priestesses with potential for more rank, giving eternal life to the mortal queens? does he want to destroy the human race or not... turn them to fae or kill them all? a bit confused. may have to go back and reread more carefully.

[vidalinav]

true or false: nothing that nesta did in the cabin years was as bad as what happened to her in acosf

I don’t and will never deny that Nesta was written in the beginning to be a sucky person. I don’t claim that she is the only sucky person, and I don’t claim she’s worse than Rhysand, who was an extremely sucky person. But she was not a nice human being in the beginning. I will never refute that. 

However, I feel like it’s common to believe that Nesta stans have horse blinds on her actions, and I think at least for me, the reason I love Nesta is not because I blindly ignore that she made these mistakes, it’s because despite them, she actually showed more of herself than that. SJM made a complex, flawed character. Because she was not just mean. She was not just angry. There was a reason. There was a rebuttal. We have Nesta talking to Feyre in ACOTAR about what she did. She tried to cross the wall. We have her being afraid of the fae, and still doing that. Being afraid of fae in ACOMAF and not wanting them around, and trying to fight that and still she stood up to those queens and was like the humans, care for them! We have her angry asf, seeking revenge from the King of Hybern, taking from that cauldron, raising that middle finger, hating who she is, and then we also have her protecting Elain, caring for her so deeply, and we also have her telling her story even after everything she’s been through, even after she fights it, because she doesn’t want to feel like a coward, and she wants to fight for those humans. There’s this constant push and pull and I love that contrast. It’s so beautifully realistic. 

So, I think my issue with ACOSF, was that it made this idea that Nesta must either suffer to repay her sins, or that she has to prove that she is a “good” person, when... SJM made a perfectly good “morally grey” character. Just like she did with Rhys, before ruining him by deciding that no one was going to hold him accountable or call him out concretely where he has consequences for those decisions, where people may think bad of him. Eris, is a cool character now, because he’s that complex. This contrast between I don’t know if your evil, but you’re definitely not purely good. I even really liked that about Mor, that she was NOT just spitting things because she was bitchy, but because it was ruining a dynamic that had been in place for 500 years. I loved that drama and then it was reduced to petty mean girl who will get over it, as well as her issues, in like 200 pages you just wait. 

So... I will not say that Nesta’s treatment in ACOSF was worse, than what she did in the cabin or even the same. Because I feel that that was not the point of the story, nor should it have been the point of a healing arc or even a redemption arc. BUT that is what SJM made by not editing, or flushing things out, or writing well, or keeping characterizations and letting them change more organically. Because we could have had a HEALING ARC! Where we got character development and Nesta coming to terms with everything that happened, fighting once more but not with fucking swords or fists but internally where she really needed it! She could have been a warrior still but the war, itself, is in her mind. It plays itself over and over. She has PTSD. She did not need to be made into a sweet, summer child who’s so in love, who thinks so highly of people who don’t give a crap about her evidentiarily. She could have kept the anger. She could have kept the meanness even (like Amren my word!). The point was bringing her out of rock bottom, and then allowing character growth. But instead we got pages and pages of her being belittled, used, and then thinking so horribly about herself that NO ONE refutes, not even Cassian, and there is no choice to be “morally grey.” It’s be “good” (to us) or be nothing. Cassian says “you don’t need to be sweet and simpering,” but when did he prove through the whole book that she was allowed to be anything, but sweet and simpering when the mere act of her disagreeing was taken as a personal insult, to himself or to the crown and when every character didn’t even allow her to be a person with emotion or she was “coddling Elain” or she was “not being easy” or she was a “potential threat” or she was “expendable” which are all things that happened in that book. 

I hate this book!

[sanborg]

ACOWAR Spoilers here

I know I said I would, but I need to talk about some of all these feels ACOWAR gave me, so my heart will remain in one piece. Soo...

SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT!

Seriously, don’t read these if you haven’t read the book. I am being kinda vague some places, and dropping bombs that I think are far more impactful if you read it first. Come back, and nod furiously instead.

Okay, so first of all. Feyre, you’re a fucking badass. Even if what you’re doing is a giant fucking mistake. But it was still pretty rad and satisfying.  Flawless execution. 10/10

Jurian is... not how I imagined him. That’s a good thing, btw.

SWEET SWEET REVENGE TO IANTHE (and even sweeter later hahaha. Oh god that was satisfying.)

Road trip with Lucien <3 

I have never felt such utter relief as when Cassian and Azriel came in.

Feyre and Rhys reunion made my knees buckle too (good thing I was already sitting) especially what follows.

Lucien’s utter surprise there are children laughing in the Night Court. xD

Oh Elain, my sweet, sweet Elain. :’( Someone hug the poor girl!

Also, Nesta and Cassian interactions is my lifeblood.

I’m in full support of Elain and Lucien having a future together some day down the line, but right now... Elain and Azriel is just so, so, so sweet.

Cassian can’t stay away from Nesta oooooh. Because Nesta is death and Cassian is the Lord of Bloodshed. Oh my heart. (or, at least... that’s what the Bone Carver implied.)

The Bone Carver appears as Rhys and Feyre’s son, and it knows it too. Rhys’ utter shock when he realized Feyre wasn’t just seeing any black-haired, blue-eyed boy. *wipes tear from eye*

Dunno why everyone thought Azriel was going to be the one to die. After the Bone Carver scene, my bet is on Amren, pretty sure she wanted a way home. Perhaps the only way would be to die.

Friendly reminder that Cassian thinks Nesta is beautiful.

I love Helion, he’s great. He’s like the Day version of Rhys, albeit much gayer haha.

That Lucien twist tho. Holy frigging shit. Or like Rhys said... Holy burning hell.

I’m not sure what to think of Eris anymore. He’s better than Beron, that’s for sure. But it’s hard to forgive for all the shit he’s done.

Azriel is far, far, faaaar more terrifying than Rhys in his mask. It’s always the quiet nice guys, huh. Also the sass is real in this one.

The Suriel meant Rhys when it told Feyre to stay with the High Lord in ACOTAR. I freaking knew it. 

MOR IS GAY (well... bisexual, but homoromantic) I no longer feel guilty for shipping Elain and Azriel. Well... maybe a little.

Cassian wants to spend a lifetime with Nesta, and he was willing to wait beyond death to be with her. Just kill me already, this is too many feels..!

Nesta’s character development was better than I hoped. It was great to see her grow, to start extending her caring nature for Elain towards the rest of the world. In her own cold way.

Also, what’s with SJM and evil Kings? Does she have something against Kings? And why do they never have a name?

Probably going to be an unpopular opinion but... I don’t like the ending. I mean, it summed up everything great, and the epilogue is better than I hoped. But I’m not a fan of killing a character just to bring them back. To me, it’s a very delicate hit-or-miss action. I will always hope the character can come back, but make me feel anxious at the race of time, that it might not work.  That something could go very, very wrong. That is far more powerful than letting me mourn and then just go “haha, he’s ok.” The impact of the death is lost on me because I knew it would work, knew they’d come back, because it happened before, because of where it happened.  But that’s just my opinion, and I’m very picky about these things.

Last words, I really, really hope Tamlin will find happiness. I really hope he will find a way to better himself, to move on after Feyre.. I hope he will find his mate, and I hope she is as strong as him, perhaps stronger. I disliked what Tamlin did in ACOMAF, but I pitied him in ACOTAR. I felt sorry for him, and ACOWAR only made me do so more. I would wholeheartedly read a post-ACOWAR Tamlin novel, if only to see him fully finish that character arc, and heal. And grow. In the end, Feyre taught him something he’s likely never, ever going to forget.

[vidalinav]

Why? Why? WHY? Rant 2.0

ACOSF is very interesting to me, because there was absolutely no reason to have any of them be so antogonistic to Nesta when she was at rock bottom unless it’s to set up that they’re still going to be problems with Nesta in later books. That’s what SJM set up whether she meant to or not and only time will tell. But If the IC and the sisters had said nothing and were more neutral and the plot stayed the same... it would have been a better book. If they showed an ounce of compassion, it would have been a fantastic book. If there was a mixture of different views on the matter, it would have been a realistic book. Except in the narrative we got, the amount of antagonism is too strong for what didn’t happen to negate that, which is also why I have such a bad feeling about this healing arc. Let me explain.

Let’s say they said nothing. They told her about the intervention. Nesta agreed albeit still feeling a bit betrayed because she wanted more time to heal. Rhys was quiet, not sneering. Mor didn’t say anything. Amren was civil maybe business like. They were a bit pushy about using her powers, but Nesta conceded after learning about the baby. They were never directly antagonist. Elain stayed away, but we’d obviously know why from Nesta’s POV. We would also know why Feyre is not there, because Nesta doesn’t want to see her. Cassian would then be there to segment the romance and be the person she leans on, when she is healing. Maybe she’s a bit mean, but he takes it. He challenges, eventually he shows the more caring part of himself and the romance begins. Everything else can stay the same, mostly Cassian too. IF that all happened, then I would be more inclined to believe that the intervention was necessary, that Nesta had a skewed perspective, that they all might have tried to help at some point but Nesta was the one pushing them all away and did so up to this point. She would have her revelations, her epiphanies, and realize hey perhaps she is mean sometimes, or she would still have her personal hatred, and it would be about accountability, but no one is actively proving her right about her skewed perspective. The consequence is then not that she is being shamed into healing, but that without healing, she would lose her relationships and she wants them. She grows to want them. I would then be inclined to believe that the IC were waiting her out, possibly having Feyre or Cassian in their best interest if not Nesta, and that they were minding their own business until they directly needed Nesta involved. Not hostile, but wary perhaps. And then when Nesta did start healing and opening up, then their reactions would have made sense in that they were lightly friendly but not close, and it was up to Nesta to really fix those relationships. And when she did sacrifice her powers, then it would have been purely internal, that Nesta was proving to herself and to others that she’s open for love and that she loves them, particularly Feyre. The entire healing arc then would have been more internal because it focuses on Nesta and not the IC’s involvement with Nesta, and the outcomes and the ending are still the same. 

Opposite wise, let’s say that the IC/sisters were empathetic, as in the arc that would be more external. Healing not just for Nesta but for the relationships. A reciprocal sort of love. Feyre would tell her that they’re intervening, but because they care for her and she’ll learn in due time. Rhys would maybe be more hard-pressed, but we would see instances where he understands the darkness, the hollow feeling. We would have Amren who looks deeply concerned for Nesta, because she had been her friend at some point. We’d have Elain, who would come to the library desperately seeking comradery and even though she cries at what Nesta says, she understands that Nesta is hard-pressed and only recently started healing. Cassian would possibly be getting frustrated, but there would always be this internal monologue of I want Nesta to heal. I want that girl back. I understand as a soldier if nothing else. Having this deep sorrow in his chest from perhaps not being able to do anything but wait. Mor wouldn’t have to be nice, but she would see how Nesta fits in the library, know the pain of growing up in a gilded cage, would perhaps see Feyre and Cassian and feel compassion for her friends and want to perhaps help for them, so she offers to teach Nesta how to dance. Nesta then would slowly open up to them, open up to love, and all of the ugly parts of herself, the hateful, angry parts would then be juxtaposed with the action of everyone else, with the love that she needs to feel for herself, the love that came even at the last moment with her father. And when she sacrifices her powers, it’s just proof again, that she loves, and she wants to love, and she’s willing to be hurt for love, because she wants to feel it all. And then the relationships at the end would then be open to be made, to be healed more completely, but then I would understand this hopeful sort of ending where her story is complete, but also just beginning. 

Third option, is that we could get a bit of everything, because why does everyone have the same opinion as it seems in the book? Perhaps it’s Feyre and Cassian who completely show compassion, empathy. Elain could still have the problems, but either show empathy, or completely be antagonistic. Azriel is fairly neutral, Rhys is maybe more neutral where they’re waiting it out, but there are no bad opinions towards her. The antagonists could be Mor and Amren. Any of these people could be switched in that role, but the point would be that a few are neutral and more business like or minding their own. A few could possibly have bad intentions and it would be clear. And some would be undeniably empathetic, and I don’t mean to be kind--I mean that they understand, they have viewed Nesta through her eyes, and understand what she is going through and are unwilling to give up on her. The empathy would be the important aspect. But the point would be that none of them change their characteristics. The antagonists would still be fairly antagonistic. The mind your own’s would be open to a friendship, but the friendship would need work but there is a foundation for it. The empathetic would be completely close to the main, because they have stood by her, they have fought, and Nesta would realize this in her own personal journey. They have segmented a bond. The plot would be the same, except we’d now see that some characters suck more than others, and there’s definitely character arcs and growth that need to be made, but it would lead to future books that that might be highlighted and therefore leaves the door open for the rest of the series. 

HOWEVER, what we got is very odd. 

Because all of these characters start off antagonistic. All of them have some comments that are goading (except for Azriel). We have Feyre who makes the embarrassment comment, Rhys who... is antagonistic in many places. I won’t list them all. We have Mor and her lines. We have Amren and her lines. We have Elain and her lines. And no variation with anyone. Nesta gets proven right about her wrong perspective. She has an internal healing arc that seems to just morph into another odd perception, because she’s never proved wrong about herself, but she’s proven right about how good Cassian is (rolls eyes). She notes that she might like who she's becoming by the end, but how? Why? What has occurred to disprove her irrational thoughts? At the end, she is still very much irrational. Nesta still thinks too highly of Cassian, and she thinks too highly of everyone, and very little for herself. She is ripped wide open emotionally though, but that happens after the solstice scene where life suddenly looks very good. She apologies to Amren, who probably least deserved the apology, and to Cassian who also makes comments, but keeps making comments until the end where he means to apologize but doesn’t get the chance to by plot. Oh wait, she does apologize to Feyre about telling her about the baby, I think, but that situation is just swept under the rug for how dramatic it ended up being. Her not wanting to exist is also one and done. The necessity of the intervention is never highlighted, so the reader questions if it was necessary. I question if she might not need an intervention from them. Some of them stay the same throughout (Azriel, maybe Elain... maybe Feyre). Some of them miraculously change to neutral, even if nothing happens to change their mind (Mor). Some of them just change completely (Amren). Some of the relationships are only really fixed because of the baby plot (Rhys and Feyre). And Cassian is probably the only one who has the most reasonable scenario on why that relationship blooms, but it’s questionable if it was truly satisfying because ultimately the only person who really had growth was Nesta even though there are two POVs. And at the end, no one still has shown empathy. Well actually Gwyn and Emerie showed empathy, so perhaps the motivation in healing with Nesta was just added friends, a mate, and distraction. Which I guess... but why then involve so much of the opinions of the IC/sisters if they don’t mean too much? Why emphasize the danger of Nesta, the badness of Nesta, the problems with Nesta, and not negate any of these in scenes with the people that are perceiving her like that. Especially if the goal of this is not to just heal but to heal relationships, as it seems like that was the goal or should have been the goal if the perceptions of others were emphasized. So the end was almost too happy, too hopeful for an arc that started off with such deep trauma and every relationship seemingly failing to a point where the others are antagonistic, and who the narrator received the bare minimum at best to facilitate change... It’s a balance issue I’m telling you.

And, I am making general statements about what happened for good reason. I am trying to show how this could be more satisfying, if the aspects of the story was changed just a teeny bit. I have never read a book so deep in good and bad things. So easily arguable and all it took was how other people affected the narrative. So, I ask why? Why not make the IC/sisters empathetic or neutral or a strong variation of all three (empathetic, neutral, and antagonist). Why have all of them start fairly antagonist, very obviously antagonistic actually, and then have no major scenes of disproval? Because if you start that dramatic you need dramatic scenes throughout to facilitate the dramatic ending. If you start very low or very angry and the ending is suppose to be higher than rock bottom, the middle scenes should be a tug of war. So where was it? Why do it? 

WHy? why? WHY???????