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[2jaeh]

Last Summer / Kim Doyoung 

Genre: smut, angst 

word count: 16k

f! college student reader, aged up! Doyoung, slight badboy!Jaehyun and fwb!Jaemin

warnings: dilf!, age gap, old money fic!, cheating, affair, public!, unprotected, daddy!, alcohol!, blackmail!, gaslighting?, multiple smut scenes, let me know if I miss anything. 

A five week business vacation with a bunch of elite families, filled with gossip, rumors and people doing anything to climb the social ladder. But through all the chaos the last thing you suspected was a whirlwind romance with your friends father. 

appearances: college friends : Haechan, Jaemin, Chenle, Sungchan, Jaehyun 

aged up! Johnny and Kun. 

A/N: hello! its author SIN here! I haven't wrote a monster fic since FREAKS but im here for old money Doyoung after so many requested a full fic of Country Club. Sorry i've been so IA i hope you enjoy this one !

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It was that time of year again and you and your mom were being dragged to one of your father’s business vacations which entailed around five weeks of your summer at your family’s world renowned resort. Now anyone else would be joyous that they’d be spending a luxury vacation at the hot spot for celebrities in the Summer, but now entering your twenties, and spending almost every summer of your life at this place, you figured it had lost its wow factor.

“Why couldn't we go to the Maldives or Greece like normal families” you groaned, slipping into a cashmere sweater that matched with a pair of capri pants and tennis shoes. You watched your  mother frantically  order the resort employees to prepare the bungalow to her liking until her eyes rested on you.

“Darling I thought I told you to throw those tacky shoes out” she sighed, coming over and giving you a tight squeeze, “and…you can go to Greece on your next semester break okay ? right now we need to mingle with your father’s investors, big smile!”

You gave her your best fake grin before returning back to your room and exchanged your shoes for a more high quality taste. You had no idea why your mom was being so particular about your dress code  being it was only day one and the more important guests only ever arrived in the second week.

You folded your arms and returned back downstairs to the lounge area when a familiar face completely caught you off guard.

“Jaemin!” you squealed, running into the toned man’s arms as he lifted you into a tight hug and engulfed you with his Givenchy perfume. Jaemin, your friend or rather fling whom you actually met via one of your father’s parties, was the son of a very big tech company CEO and your father’s current favourite golf buddy.

Mr. Kim Doyoung, the most handsome man you'd ever laid eyes on.

Jaemin released you from the hug and you took the opportunity to smile at both Mr and Mrs Kim as they briefly greeted you before returning to the conversation with your parents. You watched as Mr Kim pushed his glasses up as he laughed at some joke your father supposedly told, his gummy smile broke his stoic character and for a second you almost forgot your surroundings.

“Quite the surprise hey” Jaemin snapped you out of your trance and you quickly nodded. “You guys never do summer vacation, what's the special occasion ?” you questioned the dark haired man.

Jaemin chuckled and shrugged. “Dad said there’s a huge investor visiting this time and he doesn't want your dad to fumble any business proposals.” You hummed and looked back at the parents and watched your dad enthusiastically show Mr Kim around.

“Hey Doyoung it's a win win hey” your dad boasted, “our wives are happy, our kids are happy and we get to have a rematch of that golf game you cheated me out of last month.”

“Cheated?” Mr Kim smirked, “are we still running with that ?”

You gulped at his cockiness. Yes this was wrong. Entirely wrong because this was your friends father for fuck’s sake, but you’d been crushing on him for years, way before you met Jaemin. You hated to admit it but Mr Kim was your first real crush.

It all started on the night of your 18th, when he came to the party on his own because he and his family were going to leave on a business trip the next morning. He only stayed about 20 minutes, most of it was spent talking to your father and then he came over, introduced himself and placed a gift in your hands before planting a sweet kiss on your cheek.

“It's Viviene Westwood, your dad said you’re a big fan” His voice was so light and smooth. “My son starts at the same university as you next year, I hope the two of you can help each other out.”

And with that he said his goodbyes and you’d only see him at very special events after that. He did attend your 21st this year, but you and Jaemin had already established a friends with benefits situation and you decided that crushing on a man twice your age who now happens to be your fling’s father was not the path you were seeking.

“Do you think I’d have to sneak into your room every night ?” Jaemin pinched your side and you playfully pushed him before bringing your arms around his neck.

“Honestly our parents are going to be so blackout drunk every night im sure you could walk straight into my room and do whatever you want” you bit your lip and Jaemin smirked in return, enjoying the challenge.

The first two days were pretty much uneventful even with Jaemin railing you into your bed the very first night. Luckily for the two of you your dad managed to get the Kims’ the bungalow right next door and Jaemin made good use of the maintenance ladder and your balcony.

You were grateful you had Jaemin around until the morning you heard a voice you wished was in your head. The voice you thought you’d only hear when University resumed.

Lee Haechan.

“Jaemin hurry up, my arms are killing me here” You heard him say as you stepped out on the balcony to oversee the commotion. Your uni friend, well rather Jaemin’s, was standing outside their bungalow with luggage that definitely exceeded a five week stay which meant that it was likely computer equipment.

Great.

“What are you doing here ?” making sure your voice was definitely unwelcoming. “Wow y/n way to be hospitable to your good friend” he dropped his bags and clapped sarcastically. You watched the workers scramble for the luggage as Jaemin stepped outside to greet his very annoying friend.

“His parents kicked him out for the summer” Jaemin looked up apologetically.

“Can't say I wouldn't do the same” you scoffed while Haechan stuck out his tongue. “My boy and I are going to build a gaming pc, you know good old fashioned bonding” Haechan threw his arm around Jaemin while your poor friend knew you weren't in the slightest happy about this new arrangement.

“Great” you sighed, “hope you two lovebirds have a lovely vacation.”

“You can join us, you know, it's really fun.” Jaemin tried to look hopeful but he already knew you'd rather eat dirt than spend more than two hours with Haechan and build a damn pc on top of that.

You unenthusiastically waved them off and returned to your bedroom and threw yourself on your bed ready to dive into a solemn state until you heard a voice coming from downstairs.

His voice.

You tiptoed down the wooden stairs and you saw Mr Kim sitting at the corner bar with your father both adorning golf wear and engaging in conversation when your father quickly noticed your presence.

“Hey sweety, you're not hanging out with Jaemin today ?” he said while taking a sip of his scotch whiskey.

You groaned while approaching the two men, making sure your attention was on your father and not Mr Kim. “Haechan is here and they're going to spend the entire vacation building some stupid pc” you complained with a pout and your ears perked when you heard Mr Kim chuckle.

“Sorry about that, Haechan can be pretty persistent and I just wanted to help his parents get him out of their hair for a bit” Mr Kim smiled sweetly and you could tell he was genuine with his apology. “If you're bored why don't you come out for a round of golf, make sure your dad isn't cheating.”

“Uhm I don't want to impose…” you began to say and your dad quickly jumped to his feet and threw his arm around you. “My angel will be the best judge I can assure you!” he squeezed your shoulder, “go get ready sweetheart we will leave in 20.”

You stood under the caddy’s umbrella shielding yourself from the blistering summer heat as you watched Mr Kim and your father tee off on the fifth hole. Most of the banter was inside jokes they had going on and honestly you almost regretted joining their session until you saw how immaculate Mr Kim was at playing golf. His form, the way he stuck out his tongue slightly as he concentrated on his next shot and ofcourse how accentuated his muscles were through his golf gear as he swivelled his body every shot.

The heat wasn't that bad after all.

“Sir you have a call at the front desk” the caddy held the phone up for your dad to receive it.

You watched your father’s frown turn into a wide smile signalling it was either a big investor or one of his work buddies. “Hey Doyoung Johnny is here, i'm going to check him in before our wives make a big deal about his sudden appearance” your dad chuckled and hung up the call.

“Ah yes the wives biggest enemy, i'm surprised he actually showed up” Doyoung rested his hands on his golf club. “He didn't bring…her…did he ?”

Your eyes followed Mr Kim’s to your fathers and your dad quickly shook his head as he began handing his equipment to his caddy.

“Oh you know he wouldn't do that, gosh imagine what the investors might think.”

Now this story you were definitely clued up on thanks to Haechan practically interrogating Johnny Suh’s nephew, Sungchan. Mr Suh was a high end lawyer and had been working with your father’s circle of friends for years. He was a prominent figure, anyone and everyone fell in love with him and that's exactly how he got into trouble.  You're not sure of the timeline but according to Haechan Mr Suh had an affair with a young divorcee who’s case he’d been working on. Almost everyone expected his career to plummet after the news broke but it just made him more popular amongst young naive women who thought they too could bag the richest newly divorced big time lawyer.

Your mom couldn't stand him especially because she and the other wives were friends with his ex wife. But your dad never bothered since he’d always say that his ex wife was a gold digger and would have ‘ran him dry’ eventually. Surprisingly Haechan noted that Sungchan was also more than happy to know that his uncle was finally free from that woman.

There’s two sides to every story you guessed.

“Are you really leaving in the middle of the game ?” Mr Kim sighed, “this isn't just an excuse to get out of losing again is it ?”

Your father scoffed and waved his hand. “Oh please we are picking this up tomorrow, but for now why don't you get a little practice with my daughter ? she's got a wicked right swing!”

“Dad I don't think-”

“Let's do it.”

You turned to face Mr Kim who was now holding out his golf club to you as a stunning smile spread across his face. You swallowed hard as your father zoomed off in his golf cart and left you alone with just Mr Kim and the unattentive caddy.

“Mr Kim I'm not the best player so-”

“Hey my rivalry is with your father not you” Mr Kim waved his hand and grabbed a bottle of water. “I’ll go easy on you.”

You refused to be a stuttering mess so you tried your best to concentrate on the task at hand. It should be easy since there’s nothing the two of you could really talk about besides your father or Jaemin.

Oh you hoped he wouldn't bring up Jaemin.

You took your first swing and honestly like you expected it wasnt that grand. You turned to him apologetically while he let out a charming chuckle before joining you on your walk to the next hit.

“You're too tense” he commented and tapped your shoulder. “Since we're just practising, how about I coach you and next time you can win against your father.”  

You watched as he consulted the caddy on the perfect golf club and watched him stroll back over to you and replaced the club you clutched in your hands. The next movement almost had you weak at the knees as he slowly moved behind you and placed his slender fingers on your shoulders and squeezed lightly.

“Relax y/n” he calmly said in your ear. He may have been thinking this was just a friendly exchange but God your mind was thinking very different things. Vile almost absurd things. You nodded and did as he said, exhaling deeply while your heart was practically beating out of your chest.

“It's all in the hips you know” he said before clearing his throat, “May I ?”

You nodded again and within seconds his hands were on your waist. It was all very PG but anything he did always felt erotic. You kept your concentration on your posture making sure he wouldn't pick up on your strange behaviour but every touch, every breath coming from behind you felt like electricity.

“Now be gentle, allow your body to lead you to the shot rather than the strength of your hit” He continued and stepped back to watch you take your next shot.

The next shot was better but again you were no Lydia Ko. Mr Kim however seemed to be a perfectionist because yet again you were given another club and his hands returned to your waist. This time it felt a little different. You felt his breath against his neck and his hands were a lot more firmer as he guided you to redo your shot. “Now I know you can do better than that” His voice was low and you felt a sensation develop between your legs. You had no idea how you let your impulses get the better of you but you allowed yourself to arch your back a bit until your ass pretty much grazed against his crotch. You know it was evident too because you heard him suck in a deep breath but you didn't dare turn around.

“Like this..?” you managed to say and heard him hum before slowly stepping away and allowed you to take the shot.

Surprisingly that one was the best you had all day and it even ignited excitement out of you as you jumped in celebration, completely forgetting what had happened a mere seconds ago. “Oh my God did you see that ?!” you squealed and turned to face Mr Kim who had been chewing on his bottom lip before it turned into a sweet smile.

“I knew you had it in you, you're a natural and a quick learner” He held his hand out for a high five but as your hands collided, his fingers entangled with yours and your eyes met his in probably the most intense unspoken exchange in your life. You had no idea what was going on in his head and you were unaware that his thoughts mirrored yours. He had no idea why he did what he did and his head swarmed with so many unresolved questions.

This was his friend's daughter. His son’s college friend.

The caddy called the two of you up to drive over to the next hole and you both silently jumped in the backseat, hoping the situation was just an awkward exchange and nothing more. The drive was bumpy and unusually long. Both you and Mr Kim opted for looking in the opposite direction until the caddy hit the brakes causing Mr Kim to quickly shield you from impact.

“God what the fuck?” Mr Kim cursed and you mentally hated that it gave you another reason to find him attractive. There was no hope at this point.

“S-sorry sir there was a rabbit crossing the path” the caddy looked up into the rear view mirror and you swore you saw fear in his eyes. Mr Kim sighed and muttered that it was okay and to keep moving but as the trip resumed you realised his arm was still draped across your lap.

You adjusted your seating which pushed your tennis skirt higher and now his hand was exposed to your thigh as you waited to see what his next move might be. Mr Kim cleared his throat and you almost gasped when you felt him squeeze your exposed thigh before the caddy finally came to stop.

“I need you to go to the front desk and get more water and please let them know that the rabbits are roaming free on the course at this hour, it's quite dangerous for everyone involved” you watched Mr Kim tap his resort card on the payment machine and watched the caddy leave  you and Mr Kim completely alone.

“What do you study again y/n ?” Mr Kim asked casually as if nothing suspicious had happened all day and set up his next shot. You wiped the beads of sweat forming on your head. “I…study accounting Mr Kim.”

His chuckle made your eyes narrow as he took an effortless shot and turned around to face you. “Call me Doyoung, you do call Kun by his first name don't you ?” his new demeanour confused you. Was he just being friendly all this time and you were mistaking it for something else ?

“Yeah well Kun has been my dad’s friend for ages so-”

“So am I a stranger then ?” he poked his tongue into his cheek, “I guess we have to work on our relationship then.”

Mr Kim, Doyoung gestured for you to set up your next shot. Seeing as you were unsure of his intentions you decided to test the waters again. What was the worst that could happen anyway ? Him peacefully rejecting you would actually solve a lot of your current problems.

“Can…you help me again ? I kinda forgot the posture thing” you battered your eyelashes at him and you watched as his jaw tightened for a brief second before he nodded and came over to his usual position. You wasted no time in pressing back into him but this time you turned your head slightly to see his reaction.

“W-what are you doing y/n?” his low voice sent a shiver down your spine.

“What do you mean, I'm just..playing golf” you replied innocently and you heard him chortle in amusement. You felt his fingers press into your hips as you practically settled in his crotch, a bit proud that you had him a little flustered.

“You’re…a very naughty girl” he hummed as he straightened himself and allowed his fingers to dance on the band of your skirt.

You sighed and hummed in agreement. “I know Mr Kim and it seems like you're not so innocent yourself.”

Doyoung raised his eyebrow at your snarky comment yet mentally cursed his inability to keep his arousal in check. He was in dangerous waters but his head was too clouded with how this was about to play out for him to think about any consequences right now.

“Are you saying that this….exchange has you a little excited as well?” he queried and you felt absolutely delirious with lust.

“You can find out for yourself if you want” you curved your back a bit standing like an open invitation for him to do as he pleased. You expected him by now to at least lecture you that the two of you were out in the open and this whole ordeal was just absurd but instead he carefully stood behind you as your hands tightened around the golf club and his fingers ghosted its way up your skirt.

Doyoung’s breath was deep and steady as he caressed the skin of your inner thighs before taking his index finger and grazed it over your soaked panties. You heard him groan at your wetness while you bit down on your lip at the contact. You thought it would stop there but you almost collapsed when he pushed your panties to the side and allowed his long cold digits to feel your arousal.

“Fucking hell” he cursed as his other hand held onto your hip to keep you steady.

“Mr Kim…please..more” your voice quivered, not sure what you were asking for exactly but whatever was happening couldn't end right now, not like this.

Doyoung was completely immersed in how wet you were for him. He loved how your folds felt between his fingers and you were like putty in his hands. You gasped when he inserted a finger into your core and he heard him groan once more this time in frustration.

“Youre so fucking tight, id ruin you sweetheart” his words were like venom in your ear as he continued to finger you at an agonising pace.

Euphoria quickly came to an end when you heard a golf cart and it was Doyoung’s caddy returning from his errands. Doyoung quickly wiped away his hands and the two of you stood innocently as the caddy jogged over.

“Sir, they are requesting the both of you back for brunch” the caddy spoke and immediately began collecting the golfing equipment and packed the cart. You looked up at Doyoung trying to search his face for what all of this meant and whether it might happen again but he returned back to his stoic self. His eyes never met yours and he was silent and to himself the entire way back up to the resort.

If you thought your crush on him before was dangerous, well you've just entered a new territory.

By the time you washed up and arrived at the restaurant your father had picked for lunch you noticed everyone was already settled in. Doyoung sat right next to his wife and chuckled along with your father, Mr Suh and your father’s long time friend Qian Kun. Doyoung glanced up for a millisecond but returned to the conversation as if nothing had ever happened on the golf course.

“Darling, what took you so long ? Doyoung said you guys arrived two hours ago” your mother embraced you before one of the waiter’s pulled out your chair next to Jaemin.

“I had to take a shower” you pressed your lips into a smile and looked over at Doyoung, “It was extremely humid down there.” You watched his fingers twitch around his wine glass but it wasn't enough of a reaction for anyone else to notice. Your eyes drifted to Mr Suh who flashed you a friendly smile that you forcefully returned back before leaning into Jaemin.

“Why the hell is he here ? I thought our mothers hated him” you questioned as Jaemin rubbed the small of your back.

“Apparently his ex wife had been cheating on him too, way before he started his affair” Jaemin popped a cheese cube into his mouth. “Yeah right that’s what he wants everyone to believe” Haechan chimed in and you weren't going to admit it but you definitely shared his sentiments.

You looked up and noticed that Sungchan, Mr Suh’s nephew had also joined the trip as well as Kun Qian’s son, Chenle. You weren't too familiar with Sungchan despite him being in the same university as you but you knew Chenle really well. The two of you practically grew up together.

“I thought you were going to Dubai for the summer” you took a sip of your white wine while the ash blonde boy shook his head and sighed.

“Yeah I thought so too” he scratched his head, “My mom convinced my dad to come to the resort this year for the big networking party, God are they not tired of doing business ?!”

“Who else is gonna pay for your trips to Dubai ?” Haechan mused and Chenle rolled his eyes. “Whatever,” he retorted, “What are you even doing here anyway Lee Haechan? I thought your parents were going to London.”

“They went without him,” Jaemin snickered, earning a shove from Haechan.

“I would've done the same,” Sungchan added.

“That's what I said” you giggled and Sungchan gave you a thumbs up while Haechan erupted in a long groan.

“Face it, without me, you losers wouldn't have any fun” he pouted.

For a minute you too had completely forgotten about Doyoung, lost in the childish banter of your friends until the memory flashed back and you felt your stomach turn. There it was. The guilt was finally settling in as Jaemin squeezed your thigh under the table while he entertained whatever conversation they were now engaged in. How could Doyoung just sit there, as if nothing had ever happened. Was what he did just something to overlook?

You couldn't have been more wrong as Doyoung’s thoughts were completely scattered from the very moment he saw you in your tennis outfit. He was engaging in conversation but wasn't really retaining any information. He couldn't help himself but to steal glances at you from the other end of the dining table. Doyoung thought he was being subtle enough until he felt a tap on his shoulder from none other than Johnny Suh.

“Gonna take a smoke break, wanna join ?”

Doyoung stepped onto the balcony that overlooked the pool area as he twirled his red wine in his glass and exhaled deeply.

“Doyoung Doyoung Doyoung, you dog” Johnny blew a cloud of smoke into the sky as he erupted into laughter, “I didn't think you had it in you buddy.” “What are you talking about?” Doyoung muttered, leaning against the marble balustrade. Doyoung’s eyes shifted to the window making sure no one was paying attention especially since Johnny’s voice was the equivalent to a megaphone.

Johnny took a step closer with a smirk spread across his face,  “Doyoung, do you know who you're talking to ? I am the King of reading the room, especially when it comes to sneaky glances at your good friend’s hot daughter.” Doyoung’s jaw tightened again and he looked back into the restaurant before gulping down the last of his wine.

“I don't know what youre talking about,” he answered coldly.

Johnny narrowed his brows and cleared his throat, “Okay so she walks in, directs a very weird innuendo at you after you two played golf alone all day and you two have been eye-fucking each other for the past half hour.”

“Would you lower your damn voice ?!”

“So it's true ?”

Doyoung ran his fingers through his hair in frustration and pulled Johnny aside. He had no choice but to come clean but luckily for him Johnny would never ever spill the beans on his adultery seeing as Doyoung had been hiding Johnny’s string of affairs for ages. Yes there were more than one and no his now ex wife and all his friends have no idea about them.

“She baited me” Doyoung wet his bottom lip, “came up to me like a fucking minx and I-”

“You fucked her on the golf course ?” Johnny asked amusingly.

“No,” Doyoung deadpanned, “I…used my fingers for a bit but the caddy interrupted.”

Doyoung hated the smug look that spread across Johnny’s face and honestly actually explaining the situation only made him feel more guilty. He was the older, more mature one; this was entirely his fault and not yours at all.

“That’s your son’s friend oh my God you're worse than me” Johnny grinned and Doyoung turned back to look at you in a hearty conversation with his son and your friends. Johnny was right. This was so much worse than whatever he has done, but he could end it right here right now.

“It’s not going to happen again, I made sure to get my point across to her very quickly” Doyoung chewed on lip.

“Oh please, you said your wife hasn't given you any in a long time and I still have the divorce papers you filed for last-”

“Throw them away” Doyoung cut Johnny off.

“What ?!” the taller man exclaimed.

“There’s no need, I'm not going through with it” Doyoung replied calmly despite his thoughts still scrambling about both his marriage and you. Johnny ashed his cigarette and shook his head as the two of them entered the restaurant.

“Whatever man, all I know is that just a small taste of that kind of adrenaline doesn't go away that easily.”

Doyoung slipped back in his seat and put on his best smile but Johnny’s words still stuck with him like a thorn in his side.

Would he be able to stop ?

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few days had passed since the golf course incident and you were grateful that your dad had been entertaining his friends on his own as they attended seminars and did God knows what until late hours of the night. It was one of those nights where all the parents had gone out to one of the bars at the resort and you and your friends figured you’d also drink the night away.

“God Sungchan I swear if you don't finish your drink I will push you into this pool” Haechan threatened as the younger boy grimaced at the taste of his 8th drink of the night. Honestly having all of them around this year wasn't that bad because usually you'd either be babysitting your parents or drinking with the resort staff.

You sipped your cocktail and danced along to the music blaring from the poolside bar in your Miu Miu two piece wrapped in a mesh skirt. Jaemin threw his arm around you and you could tell by his slurred words and sloppy kisses that he was needy.

“Are you not fucking Haechan tonight ?” you rolled your eyes.

“Don't ever say that again” Jaemin groaned while his hands ghosted over your thighs and moved to grope your ass.

“Ew get a room” Chenle spat and you sighed. As much as you’d love to get railed right now you couldnt stand that this arrangement with Jaemin only worked when he was in the mood rather than it being mutual. You already knew he’d be in your room for the night and you won't see him the entirety of the next day unless you were out looking for him.

“Yeah totally not in the mood doll” you pried his hands off your figure and took a sip of your drink, “you should call it a night, don't want to be hungover when you have a pc to build.”

Jaemin never bothered to argue back. He knew how stubborn you could be and honestly he needed to get Haechan back to the bungalow before he ended up swearing at the bartenders. You waved off Jaemin, Haechan and Chenle who went along since his accommodation was on that end anyway while you took care of Sungchan.

“You all good there buddy?” you joined him on one the loungers as he gulped down his third glass of water.

“I'm alright, sorry i'm still getting used to the whole alcohol thing” he smiled sweetly.

You giggled and tutted in response, “don't force yourself if you don't want to, Haechan may think he is the boss around here but trust me he’s a pushover.”

Sungchan nodded shyly until you saw his eyes perk up. You followed his gaze and from all people in this entire goddamn resort in walks Johnny Suh and Kim Doyoung.

Just great.

“Hey Nephew” Johnny greeted, his face absolutely red indicating he was definitely more drunk than his dear nephew right now.

You looked up at Doyoung briefly who just stood awkwardly while Johnny babied his nephew, smothering him in hugs and compliments. Sungchan stood up and stabilised his uncle, praying he wasn't going to be stubborn about heading back to their bungalow.

“Come on Uncle Johnny, time for bed” Sungchan held him by his waist while Johnny pinched his cheeks and coddled the younger boy.

“Doyoung isn't my nephew just the cutest ? He's the cutest right ?” Johnny slurred as Sungchan bid his farewell to you and guided Johnny back to their bungalow.

You wasted no time in making sure there were no awkward silences and grabbed a new drink from the bar and began heading down a dimly lit path. You couldn't look at him. Especially since he had ignored your existence for most of the week.

“Where are you going ?” he questioned, as you heard his footsteps follow close behind.

“To the beach, leave me alone” you replied carelessly. Did he expect you to respect him as your father’s friend after the stunt he pulled ?

“You are not going to the beach in the middle of the night drunk and on your own” he lectured, still following you down the path until the two of you reached the white sandy area that met the moonlit shore.

He watched attentively as you turned around and removed the mesh skirt as you soaked in the moonlight and the salty sea breeze.

“You're not my father Mr Kim” you groaned, “I can do whatever I want.” “Do your parents know where you are right now ?” Doyoung questioned as he shook the sand that filled up his sandal.

You walked over to one of the beach recliners sighing that the umbrellas were all down and sat down your drink on the table. “My parents think I'm at the overnight spa, smart of me don't you think ?” you smirked as you struggled to open the umbrella that was twice your size.

Doyoung massaged his temples before walking over and helping you open the umbrella before taking a seat on the opposite recliner. He knew he was doing the right thing by taking care of you while you were acting recklessly, but a part of him wondered if being around you in that scantily clad bikini and the amount of alcohol running through his veins and yours, was a good idea.

“What are you drinking ?” Doyoung watched you take a sip of your cocktail as you laid back in the recliner and crossed your legs.

“Rum and Coke” you replied, handing him the drink.

You were amused by how much he drank, and watched as he set the glass aside and shook his leg anxiously while his entire body tensed up.

“For someone who told me that I'm too tense you're really one to talk” you commented and pointed to his fidgeting fingers and anxious leg. Doyoung quickly took notice of his actions and gathered himself. He turned his focus to the dark sea, while you studied him wondering what the hell was going through his head right now.

“You know any normal married man would be back home laying next to his wife after a drunken night” you sighed and Doyoung’s eyes quickly darted to yours.

“I'm here to make sure you get home safely,” he said in a calm tone.

“Oh please” you scoffed, “you had no idea I was out here until you guys stumbled across us at the bar. Mr Kim it seems like you love to keep your distance from your wife regardless whether I'm here or not.”

Doyoung’s jaw tightened at your words. He knew you were not  taunting him because everything you mentioned was pretty much how it's been for the past few months in his marriage. Most of the time he met with your family on his own and your father had always commented on how divided the two of them had become after Jeno had turned 18.

“Its probably why youre so needy too, when was the last time youve even fucked anyone ?”

“Is this a joke to you ?” Doyoung retorted, “Do you not see how wrong this is ?”

You rolled your eyes, finishing the last of the drink, and sat  it back on the wooden side table.

“Honestly I dont,” you shrugged, “I did at first ofcourse, hell Ive been wanting to fuck you since my 18th birthday but now that I know youre miserable  in your marriage I dont see the harm in it.”

Doyoung pondered on your words and of course he was miserable but his reasoning for coming onto you wasn't because he needed a quick fix. God he saw beautiful women at so many investor parties but nobody had him riled up like you did. For him though it was your 21st birthday, when you wore that Elie Saab sequin dress and you carried yourself with such poise and class that he’d never taken notice of before. There was always a mystery surrounding you and with that neverending curiosity he disciplined himself into keeping his distance.

That was until a few days ago.

“You’ve been wanting me since then ?” Doyoung asked in that low voice that always hit the right spot.

You pushed yourself up from the recliner and stood up to hover over him. Doyoung’s eyes dragged over your body until his eyes locked with yours as you placed your thumb under his chin.

“Oh Mr Kim I fantasise about having you every…single..night” you mused and with that you pressed your lips against his and sighed into the passionate kiss. Doyoung quickly pulled you into his lap, his lips never leaving yours as you straddled him and immediately gripped onto his dark locks.

“I'm not going to be able to stop this time y/n” Doyoung groaned into your neck as you pushed your body further down into his lap, already feeling his hardened member against your clothed core.

“Don't stop…please dont stop” you moaned into his kisses as he grabbed your ass and buried his face into your chest, littering your collarbone and breasts with kisses. You both knew that taking your time would only raise concern so you were in agreement that it needed to be done as soon as possible.

You fiddled with his dress pants as he unbuttoned his shirt revealing the very toned body you were suspecting. God the sight of him alone like this could've made you orgasm. Doyoung quickly pushed down his pants and then suddenly pulled away.

“Fuck…Fuck!” he cursed.

“What is it ?” you looked around thinking one of the employees was lurking around.

“I don't have protection. '' Doyoung looked up at you and bit down on his lip.

“God i'm on the pill please just fuck me already” you whined and returned your lips to his desperate to regain the momentum you had earlier on.

“Are you sure this is okay sweetheart ?” He asked once again his voice filled with concern. God the age difference thing was really showing right now because everyone around your age was careless and dumb. Any guy in their 20s (and probably Johnny Suh) would be ecstatic to know they'd be able to do it raw.

You found his concern endearing.

“Do whatever you want Mr Kim, I just need you inside me” you whispered and Doyoung literally felt dizzy with ecstasy at your lewd words. He quickly responded by pushing aside your bikini bottom and rubbed circles on your clit before entering two digits into your core, preparing you for what's to come.

You were so lost in the magic he was putting in his fingers that you almost gasped at the difference when he inserted his member inside you. He was much bigger than you imagined and the biggest you ever had. He was right when he said he’d ruin you.

“Oh my fuck-” you moaned in his ear as Doyoung guided your hips to ride him. He wasnt sure if it was the impromptu fuck, the lack of sex he’s had recently or the girl on top of him right now but it was a fucking hell of a experience. You moved your hips roughly against his, expertly making circles with your hips as you built up your orgasm. Doyoung’s moans were like music to your ears as he groaned according to your movements as his nails dug into your thighs.

“Doyoung im-”

“Is my angel close hmmm” he hummed and the pet name just inched you closer to your high. Doyoung moved his hand to the front so his thumb had access to your clit, stimulating you until you were ready to give in. Doyoung watched in awe as you beautifully threw your head back and came so hard on his cock that he wished he could do it again almost immediately.

You rode out your high and to Doyoung’s surprise you removed yourself from his lap and settled between his legs. Your hand grabbed hold of his member as you looked up at him and pumped his member.

“You know, so you don't have to stress about coming inside me,” you brought your face down to meet his tip, “well coming inside me in a different way.”

Doyoung leaned back in his seat and grabbed a fistful of your hair as you went to work on his length. He knew he wouldn't last long, not with already fucking you and now with your tongue skillfully pleasing him. You hollowed your cheeks as your hand met your speed and the grip on your hair signalled that he was close.

“Fucking hell” was all Doyoung could say when he finally released in your mouth and with heavy eyes watched you swallow every bit of him.

“We should get back before they close up the bar” you said, straightening up your hair and outfit.

“Yeah we should” Doyoung agreed and buttoned up his shirt and tucked himself back into his pants. God he wished he could at least help clean you up and lay in bed with you but unfortunately that could never be on the agenda. He honestly had no idea what to say or what to do. The two of you walked in silence until you reached the bungalows, making sure to stay in the shadows just in case anyone was awake at this hour.

“Well good night I guess” you folded your arms, slightly embarrassed that regardless of what you said you still felt a pang of guilt and jealousy that he still  wasn't yours for the night.

You were about to walk off when Doyoung grabbed onto your arm and turned you to face him. He placed a kiss on your forehead and then a softer one on your lips.

“Meet me tomorrow at the squash court at 2:30,” he whispered as his thumb stroked your cheek, “Only if you want to though.”

You nodded and smiled up at him before finally parting ways and leaving both of you revisiting one of the most incredible nights of your life.

—--------------------------------

The next morning you took your time to get ready, completely avoiding the voices of your hungover parents downstairs. You knew they'd pester you about where you were, what time you got home and most importantly who was the last person you were with last night.

That was the last thing you needed to be questioned about.

“Princess are you done pampering up, we're going to the gym” you heard Haechan’s grating voice call from outside your balcony. Of course you still had to pretend you wanted to hang out with them today but it just gave you a better alibi to showing up at the squash court. You quickly slipped into a cute Ralph Lauren polo shirt and bike short set and doused yourself with your Chanel no.5 before heading out to meet your friends.

“God I can smell you a mile away” Chenle dramatically coughed as the five of you strolled down to the fitness centre.

You sighed and stretched your arms above your head, “It's called perfume, you should try it sometime” you teased and the boy stuck out his tongue in return.

“Hey did you get home okay last night ?” Sungchan tapped your shoulder looking down at you sheepishly, “I needed to get Uncle Johnny home before he decided to extend his drinking hours.” You waved your hand and hooked arms with the taller boy, giving his bicep a tight squeeze as you stepped into the air conditioned wellness centre.

“It’s all good I went straight home anyway” you lied.

You and your friends were already welcomed with green juice, herbal tea and smoothie selections by the staff while you scouted the area for where you might bump into Doyoung. The centre was quite vacant, I guess not everybody could recover as fast as your family and friends as drinking to your limits never delayed the schedule of the next day. You walked through the essential oil aroma of all the various spa treatments until you finally reached the gym and caught your first glimpse of Doyoung laughing along with the rest of the parents.

God he looked extra hot today in just a pair of black track pants and a fitted white tee.

“Dude your uncle is jacked” Haechan gaped at Johnny Suh who was walking around in just a pair of training shorts, his sweaty toned body on display for everybody. God knows why. It's not like you didn't think he was hot, you would be stupid to think otherwise, but Mr Suh was never your type. He never had the sex appeal that Mr Kim had.

“Hey kids!” your dad waved as you all strolled over to join the gathering. You put on a friendly smile as your mom already pulled you into her side and gushed to the other mothers about how thankful she was to have a daughter or something along those lines. Your mother spoke but you avoided Mrs Kim’s eyes completely, while flashes of last night kept running through your mind.

“How about you gym buffs finish up and we’ll meet for lunch later” Mrs Qian spoke even though she knew her husband would rather join in on spa treatments than play any form of sport.

“Why are we doing sports on a vacation again ?” Kun Qian sighed as Johnny shoved a racket in his hands. “Come on now Kun, you gotta look good for Mrs over here” Johnny winked as Mrs Qian giggled shyly. Johnny Suh was truly a menace for any married woman.

“Well I'm guessing you're going to sweat it out with the boys” your mom fixed the headband on your head and sighed, “My dear daughter thrives on competitive sports, especially when it’s beating her own dad in them.”

“Not this time honey, I'm feeling lucky” your dad ended with his infamous catchphrase before he’d probably rage quit later on.

“Alright so I’ll be playing basketball with the fit young guys” Johnny threw his arms around both Jaemin and Chenle who both looked enthused by this idea. “Sure then I guess Kun, Doyoung, y/n and I will head to the squash courts” your father saluted Johnny as he began making his way to the back of the gym where a row of brightly lit squash courts lined up.

“Are we playing singles or doubles ?” Doyoung asked as he grabbed a baseball cap to push away the loose strands that fell over his forehead. He was pretty composed for someone who was literally fucking you raw on a beach a few good hours ago. You wondered what was going through his mind now that you showed up to his invitation.

“Doubles, my daughter and I verse you and Kun” your father called over an employee to bring over a few iced bottles of water. Your father suggested a round with each opponent and tally the score after.

Everyone agreed to the plan and you had your first round with Kun who was a pleasant opponent that always complimented your serves no matter how lazy they were eventually becoming. You liked Kun. He was such a good husband and father that you believed he truly set a standard for men everywhere. You always wondered how he even dealt with your father and his erratic friends but clearly it never bothered him.

“I'm going to talk your father into a quick foot spa before we get onto the next round” Kun said cheekily and you smiled sweetly as the two of you stepped into the hallway for the opponent swap.

“Did she go easy on you Kun ?” Your dad came over and high-fived you while Doyoung rolled his eyes. “Well you'd have to bet that she destroyed Kun after the beating I gave you” he said, the cockiness yet again in his voice drove your arousal.

“We both did just fine” Kun snapped back, “I'm just going to rest up a bit before the next round if you are planning on drinking tonight again.”

“Okay old man,” your dad conceded and followed Kun, “You guys coming with or going on with the game ?”

Doyoung waved his hand, “I know you two will never come back and I need to get my fitness in, go ahead.” He waited until the hallway was clear and followed you inside one of the courts in silence. There was tension in the air now that he was finally alone with you.

As soon as he was certain the two of you were alone Doyoung backed you up against the corner of court, a blind spot from both the entrance, hallway and the cameras above. He exhaled deeply as he grabbed onto your thigh, pushing your legs apart and settling his own leg in between for you to nestle on his toned thigh. His slender fingers ghosted up your body until his thumb brushed over your pouty lips, awaiting to meet his.

“I thought about you all night” he whispered before leaning in and peppered kisses along your jawline. He smelled exquisite, and  you had no idea that you were already unconsciously rubbing your heat up and down his thigh.

“Why’d you ask to meet here?” you whimpered into his touch, “we could get caught very easily.” Doyoung silenced you by pressing his lips against yours passionately, moaning into the kiss as he slipped his tongue inside and wrapped his hand around your neck ever so delicately.

“I thought I’d be able to control myself in a public setting and we could sneak out after, but I can't help myself” Doyoung pushed you harder onto his thigh and snaked his hand around you to grab onto your ass. He seemed way less in control than the first two times you two were in a situation like this. It was so out of his character to be the one to initiate such intimacy especially when his family were literally just a stroll down the hallway.

Doyoung had worked himself up to the point you thought he was going to recreate the golf incident  but something quickly brought him to his senses and he immediately stepped back and neatened himself while his eyes shifted to the entrance of the court.

“What’s going on ?” you frowned and looked into the empty hallway and back to the man who just had his tongue down your throat a few seconds ago.

“We cant do this, what the fuck this is just..its too much!” he was pacing the court and biting on his nail as if sanity had just hit him.

You groaned in frustration and gained some sort of composure before approaching the older man. “Are you serious right now ? you can't just do that and then tell me youre chickening out” you spoke in a low voice obviously frustrated that he was still so indecisive regardless of what had happened last night.

“Everytime I see you it's like I throw away my morals and then reality just…hits me” Doyoung frowned and his words really pissed you off, rightfully so.

“So what am I huh ? someone you can use until reality just hits you ?” you snapped back feeling your face heat up, “I have feelings too you know and I thought I made it very clear last night.”

Doyoung became stoic. You watched him grab a racket and ball from the floor as he got into position on the other end of the court.

“Let's Play” he said in a cold tone.

“Youre fucking unbelievable” you cursed and pushed open the clear door making your way back to your bungalow and as far away from Kim Doyoung as you possibly could. You hated that for him it was purely just physical and you had to deal with the emotional side to all of this. You had no idea how much you liked him until his attention drifted from you, until he was showing some affection to his wife or when he was just purely existing in the same space as you.

You hated it. You absolutely hated having feelings for Kim Doyoung.

You spent most of the day locked up in your room, catching up your best friend on the whole ordeal to which she just said ‘find someone new to fuck with and get over it’. It was easier said than done. Jeno was completely out of the question seeing as he was the son of the man you were trying to get over. Most of the employees were annoying frat boys and you weren't sure if any man would be able to satisfy you the way Mr Kim did.

“Honey get ready, we're having dinner at the Greek place tonight” your mother called from downstairs and you inwardly groaned. What was with these people and doing almost everything together. Sighing you got ready anyway because missing a dinner would not only have your parents nagging you about it you’d also be letting Doyoung know that the quarrel you had earlier was a lot more serious than you wanted him to think.

You needed him to know that you didn't care and you were going to be the one to move on. Pulling out your Versace black cocktail dress or the revenge couture collection as your friend calls it, you made your way  down to dinner making sure to keep your head up high and your attention off Mr Kim entirely.

You hoped.

“You guys finally made it” Johnny Suh’s voice boomed from the grand table that was set up on the fairy lit private deck at the back of the quaint restaurant. You began making your way over to your friends when you noticed an extra man had now joined the festivities and boy was he something.

He looked around your age, dressed in Prada with his hair slicked back which emphasised his sculpted face with the prettiest set of dimples you'd ever seen. His eyes immediately locked with yours as you took the seat across him and his lips curled into a friendly smile.

“Good evening everyone” you greeted and Sungchan quickly cleared his throat and gestured at the man seated next to him. “y/n this is my older brother Jaehyun, Jae this is y/n” he introduced the two of you and the man reached over the table to shake your hand.

“You're the infamous y/n then” he smiled, his voice was low and utterly charming.

“Infamous ?”

“Well,” he shrugged, “the beautiful heir to this luxurious resort, best believe you're talked about.”

You blushed at his words ignoring the irrelevant comment from Haechan and continued getting to know Johnny Suh’s other nephew, a true god sent distraction from Kim Doyoung. The two of you spoke for hours. You learnt that Jaehyun was an up and coming actor, and his family were in the textile industry. His hobbies were photography and collecting vinyls from his favourite artists all the way down to his great grandfather's favourites. You also learnt he frequented Milan for fashion shows, and it was his favourite city in the world. A place he already offered to give you a personal tour of.

“You know I heard that he goes to Milan just to fuck these old rich women” Haechan whispered as the two of you snuck around the back of the resort for a smoke.

“Why would he need to, he’s too rich to be a sugar baby” you rolled your eyes and drew in the freshly lit cigarette.

“Bro is just a milf hunter, it gives him bragging rights and those cougars love it” Haechan grabbed the cigarette from your fingers and brought it up to his own lips. You peaked around the corner and watched as Jaehyun conversed with the rest of the men, laughing along with their jokes. He looked so innocent compared to the perverse things you were now hearing about him.

“Probably runs in the family, streets already calling him Johnny Suh’s prodigy” Haechan ashed out the cigarette and used a tester cologne to mask the smell.

“God he is so hot though, you think he could retire milf hunting for just one night ?” you smirked as the two of you made your way back up to the restaurant. Haechan gave you a pat on the back as he followed your gaze back to Jaehyun.

“If he’s anything like his uncle he probably already fantasised you underneath him during dinner.”

All the scandalous chats with Haechan and the obvious flirting with Jaehyun completely grabbed your attention from Doyoung and you almost forgot about the argument earlier on. You took the opportunity to steal a glance but to your surprise his eyes were already on you and he barely bothered to look away. His stare was dark as he twirled his whiskey glass in his hand and ignored the conversations that were happening around him.

“Honey the girls and I are all packed and off to the overnight spa” His wife interrupted his stare and he gave her a sweet smile and never bothered to share his plans for the night. That's the kind of relationship they had. No questions, no suspicions, just a facade for the friends and family that everything was perfect.

The ladies said goodbye to their tipsy husbands and thanks to your white lie that you already spent time at the spa the previous night you got away scot free from the outing. Haechan, Chenle and Sungchan decided to hang out at the arcade with Jaemin following close behind, seeing as you hadn't paid him any attention thanks to the appearance of Jaehyun. Which meant it was just you, Jaehyun and your father’s friends still lingering around the restaurant and bar for the rest of the night.

“So y/n what do you guys do for fun around here ?” Jaehyun shot back the last of his drink and leaned back into his seat looking so goddamn inviting.

“Well,” you held up your glass, “we drink, we play sports nobody cares about and we complain about our embarrassing parents.” Jaehyun followed your eyes to your father doing his best impression of what looked like the moonwalk and chuckled.

“Hey he’s pretty good!” he mused while you shook your head and stood up.

“You wanna get out of here?”

You and Jaehyun strolled around the empty courtyards as all the restaurants started packing up for the night. The summer night finally began cooling down and Jaehyun’s body seemingly got closer as the two of you walked around aimlessly.

“Why don't we take a little pitstop?” Jaehyun smirked and pulled you behind one of the restaurants where both of you were out of sight to onlookers. You could tell he was an expert in these circumstances, he definitely was a man who always got what he wanted.

Consensually of course.

“I heard something about you” you bit down on your lip as he began giving you butterfly kisses along your jaw and down the nape of your neck. Jaehyun hummed as you felt him smirk against your skin. “Hmmm and what did you hear about me ?”

“That you’re a milf hunter” you giggled as he licked the weak spot he found just under your ear. Jaehyun pulled back and an amused smile spread across his face. “A milf hunter ?” he repeated your words as if it was the first time he was accused of such.

“I mean I generally meet older women,” he added, “but I don't actively search for….milfs.”

“So I'm not just a second choice for tonight then ?” you mused, pulling him back to your body by his half buttoned dress shirt. Jaehyun licked his lips as he stared down at you and his large hands massaged your thighs while you moaned in his touch.

“I came all this way after Sungchan sent me pictures of you guys hanging out, baby i'm here because of you” Jaehyun lifted your face to bring you into a deep sensual kiss that figuratively and literally had you weak at the knees. The kiss was amazing but it was still sub par in comparison to Mr Kim. Jaehyun was a lot like the guys you've met at country clubs and student events. They were all drop dead gorgeous but lacked the experience, the class you craved. The type that came natural to someone like Kim Doyoung.

God you were thinking about him while another man, your rebound was practically worshipping you right now.

“You wanna come back to my place ? my uncle won't say anything” Jaehyun asked in between breathy kisses while he tried to hike your dress up for better access.

You ran through the pros and cons of the indefinite possibility that Johnny Suh’s big mouth might spill your escapades to your father despite his nephew trusting him this much. The only pros you could think of were getting fucked by Jeong Jaehyun and possibly getting over Mr Kim.

Possibly.

While you were in a mini dilemma Doyoung’s mind was a mess. He obviously couldn't let go of how you had left him at the squash court earlier and secondly how you spent the majority of your night with Johnny Suh’s promiscuous nephew. He downed another round of brandy, wincing at the taste while his friends fooled around on the roulette tables.

With a free night away from his wife and the happy hallmark family agenda Doyoung assumed it was finally the night to let loose. But all he could think about was you and where you were right now. What were you doing ? Did you not want him anymore upon meeting Jaehyun ?

“Need a top up ?” Johnny tapped Doyoung’s shoulder and the dark haired man nodded and held out his glass. “Hey you good ? my man you’re free tonight be happy!” Johnny cheered but his smile turned into a frown when Doyoung just appeared more stressed than usual. “Hey is this about..” Johnny turned to look at your father, making sure he was at a good distance from the conversation, “y/n ?”

Doyoung nodded and Johnny sighed.

“It happened, we went too far and now all I can think about is my wife and my son,” Doyoung sighed, staring at the brown liquid in his glass. “I truly fucked up.”

“You know what's fucked up ? you and this trainwreck of a marriage” Johnny scoffed, irked at the fact that he had to have this conversation about his friend’s failed relationship once again. “She is not the reason your marriage is not working, honestly she has nothing to do with your marriage regardless.”

“I know I know” Doyoung responded and sipped his drink, “I just cant get her out of my mind.”

“My advice is spend actual time with her, not these little sneaky one hour sessions and see how you feel after” Johnny suggested and Doyoung was quite surprised that the advice Johnny had given wasn't a total waste of time.

“If you're genuinely interested in another woman, it will make signing those divorce papers much easier, that's all i'm saying” Johnny concluded and topped up his own glass with the remainder of brandy.

“What about her family, Jaemin God what would everyone say if-”

“We will get to that when it's serious enough” Johnny interrupted before Doyoung dug himself into more worries. “For now just figure out if you're finally ready to call it quits.”

Doyoung decided to take a walk to clear his mind and ponder on the advice Johnny had given him earlier. He knew very well that his marriage was pretty much doomed a few years back but he hated that he stuck around to the point where he felt guilty to be the first one to bring up a divorce. What was even worse was that during a conflict over dinner some time back Jeno had come up to him and told him he’d be okay if it happened and it was better than both of them pretending to be happy for other people.

It was that very conversation that prompted Doyoung to have the phone call with Johnny, ready to begin the divorce  process but his sudden interest in you made him retract it. He felt insane. Careless. He made himself believe that he was only interested because he was unhappy in his marriage.

But of course that was never the case. You were different.

Doyoung stepped down into the courtyard and just as he was about to retreat he caught a glimpse of your figure that was partially lit by the overhead light of the restaurant. You were up against a wall, pinned against it by Jaehyun as he ravished your neck with kisses and you grabbed onto him for dear life enjoying every second of it.

Doyoung felt his body heat up at the sight of you with another man. He had never experienced that amount of jealousy and just pure anger up until this moment. Did he have a reason to be ? no. Could he have walked away and allowed you to do whatever you wanted seeing as you weren't his ? yes.

Was he going to ? not likely.

“Sorry, uhm Jaehyun ?” Doyoung cleared his throat causing you and Jaehyun to quickly move out of the shadows and gain some composure. Doyoung’s presence made you roll your eyes as Jaehyun approached his uncle’s friend unaware of the tension between the two of you.

“Oh hey Mr Kim” Jaehyun grinned and Doyoung’s jaw tightened as he took in your lipstick stains all over Jaehyun’s swollen lips and neck.

“Your uncle…He is looking for you…probably needs help getting back home seeing as Sungchan is preoccupied at the moment” Doyoung reported as his eyes briefly met yours.

Jaehyun looked back at you and shrugged. “Hey my offer is still open” he winked and gave you a quick peck on the cheek before moving his lips to your ear, “if you still want me just knock on my bungalow.”

You watched him say his goodbyes to Doyoung before quickly disappearing into the resort in search of his uncle and began your own journey home before you were interjected.

“y/n..” he held onto your wrist as you looked up at him.

“What ? you want to take over from where Jaehyun left off hmm ?” you raised your eyebrow, “you want to use me for about twenty minutes and go back to your happily married life ?”

Doyoung chewed on his bottom lip and exhaled deeply. “Look,” he began, taking a step forward, “I apologise for making you feel that way but please understand that was never my intention. I would never hurt you or purposefully disregard your feelings y/n” he loosened his hold on your wrist and caressed your cheek.

“A Lot of it is overwhelming but I've never done this before and  you're not just some random hook up y/n, believe it or not I actually like you” Doyoung’s words made your cheeks heat up, not completely sure how to react to his confession.

“Now listen,” he continued, “I had time to think about it and If we're both on the same page that it's not just a physical attraction then I want to spend time getting to know you better.”

“But how would we-”

“I managed to get an extra room up at the hotel away from the bungalows and I'll schedule myself free time for ‘business meetings’ throughout the day for us to hang out” He answered by pulling out a hotel keycard as evidence.

“How did you get a room isn't it at all suspicious that you're not at your bungalow ?” you frowned, still trying to process everything he was suddenly offering you.

“Y/n, me sleeping in a different room let alone a different suite altogether than my wife is not all that surprising to anyone around me” he admitted as he stuffed the keycard back into his pocket.

“If your little white lies work as well as you say they do then this should be a breeze right ?”

Your head was muddled and you wondered if he was being genuine about getting to know you or just stringing you along until he had another guilt trip fiasco. You needed some type of leverage to not only save your feelings but to also prove that he was in this for real this time.

“If you change your mind and for whatever reason decide ‘this is too much’ during the rest of the vacation  i'm going to come clean to both your wife and Jeno” you folded your arms and stood your ground.

“Sure, you have every right to” Doyoung answered, quicker than you expected him to. “Even though I will be going through a divorce in the possible future, if there is truly something between us, I'll sign the papers as soon as the vacation is over.” His words gave you goosebumps. He was absolutely serious. He was ready to go all in ?

You looked up into his almond eyes and nodded. “Deal.”

The next two weeks were probably some of the best moments of your life. Not only could you indulge in mind blowing sex with Doyoung but the two of you started to develop a genuine emotional relationship through your scandalous affair.

“What’s with this obsession with Greece y/n ?” Doyoung brushed the wet hair from your face as the two of you soaked your naked bodies in the spa bath of his hotel room.

“I love Greek mythology” you shrugged, “from the time my dad took me over there in elementary school, I had a school project on a Percy Jackson book” you giggled.

“I didn’t care much for the fantasies of Percy Jackson until I saw the real thing in Athens, it took my young breath away.”

Doyoung listened to your little story as he always did while watching the water droplets cascade down your shoulders and disappear into the soapy water. He finally felt relaxed for the first time in God knows how long.

You noticed you were babbling on and turned around to face him, giving him a cheeky smile.

“Are you daydreaming about screwing me while I was talking about a treasured memory ?” You raised your brow and Doyoung chuckled.

“Well I wasn’t thinking of it until you mentioned it just now”

You pulled him into a deep sensual kiss as you settled into his lap and sighed as he wrapped his delicate hands around your waist. Doyoung moved his lips down to your neck and nibbled on the sensitive skin, smirking when you moaned out his name. He loved hearing you praise him.

“Baby let’s move this to the bed” he whispered into your ear before pulling you out of the tub and quickly dried the two of you up before carrying you over to his bedroom.

“Someone wants to take his time tonight” you hummed and Doyoung gave your thigh a quick smack, ordering you to get on your stomach.

“That ass has been grinding up against me for the past hour and I can’t help but want to get a piece of it” his words made you wet in an instant as you slowly arched your back, giving him what he wanted.

Doyoung’s fingers danced across your spine and with his index finger he pressed into your core, sticking his tongue in his cheek as you already begged him for more. “Does my Angel want a little more?” He asked innocently as his second finger came in contact with your clit.

“Please more” was all you could say and Doyoung granted your wish, pushing two digits into your core and feeling your core clench around him. You loved when he took his time but you hated that you couldn’t last long when he did. You were already feeling an orgasm building way too early and quickly reached for his fingers and pulled away.

Doyoung chuckled darkly behind you and realised you weren’t going to hold on for long tonight and began lining up his member and pushing deep inside you. He sighed as you let out a gasp and gripped onto the bed sheets as he moved in and out of you in a brisk movement.

“That feels so good Mr Kim” you mewled, knowing it drives him insane in the best way possible when you refer to him formally in this type of setting.

Doyoung grabbed a fistful of your hair as he pounded into you. Your back arched in the best possible way for him to find your sweet spot. You were going delirious with ecstasy as his cold fingers moved to your throat and squeezed lightly. He was a professional in knowing what made you weak at this point.

“Come for me my Angel” Doyoung spoke between strokes and you could hear in the strain of his voice that he was close too.

Doyoung bit down on his lip as he watched you draw circles on your clit to help you finish. You were completely fucked out and he loved looking at you weak under his touch. Your pants became faster and Doyoung held on a little longer so you could cum all over him before pulling out of you and brought your mouth to his tip.

“Open up pretty” he swiped his thumb over your quivering lip and slipped his throbbing cock into your mouth until he finally came undone. Doyoung watched you swallow every bit of him until he was completely cleaned up and he stroked your head in satisfaction.

“Good girl.”

The next day you had plans with all the moms while Doyoung attended a few meetings with his friends. Everything was finally running smoothly until what you had feared most had already begun stirring.

Jaemin got a text from his mother to retrieve her ipad from his father’s suite, where she assumed it would be considering her husband only hired the suite for work related activities. Jaemin showed his identification to the hotel and headed up to the room until he realised that he didn't have keycard access. Mentally cursing himself he pulled out his phone in order to text his father until he heard a trolley park behind him.

“You need access to your dad’s room bro ?” the young bellboy smiled and held up the employee master key.

“Yeah thanks man” Jaemin nodded and watched the boy open the room for him and disappear down the hallway.

Jaemin stepped into the apartment and he immediately had an unsettling feeling fill his chest. From the unmade bed to the alcohol and chocolates spread across the coffee table, this looked a whole lot more than a ‘work suite’. Brushing it off knowing his parents have their issues anyway Jaemin began searching for the ipad. He slumped into the couch and looked in the crevices until he pulled out a very interesting piece of material.

“What the fuck ?” Jaemin murmured as he inspected the lingerie until the set started looking familiar to him. There was no way he thought. His heart began racing as he looked around the room once more and everything started to make sense. Your favourite chocolate, your favourite champagne left on the table. There was a new edition of Vogue magazine laying on the floor, the same one he saw you with at the pool the other morning.

Jaemin felt lightheaded. Who was he mad at more? Was it you ? the girl he was sleeping with just before the summer break or his father. The man that raised him and the man he respected. He was angry but reality hit when he realised he couldn't react.  He couldn't  cause a scene amongst the hundreds of socialites that could probably ruin his university reputation. This was how their lives worked. Everything needed to get buried before anyone outside their circle found out.

Jaemin sucked in a deep breath and left the room in silence. He needed to discuss this with the only person who could bury this messy affair.

His father.

While you were blissfully unaware of the shitstorm that was about to come, you happened to bump into Jaehyun and Mr Suh in one of the conference room lobbies. Both of them smiled down at you giving you an uneasy feeling that you couldn't explain.

“Looking for someone?” Johnny Suh smirked annoyingly.

“M-my father” you lied, “where is he ?”

“I think I saw him head over to the pool bar with Kun” Jaehyun draped his arm over your shoulder and escorted you very far from a confused Kim Doyoung who had just joined his friend Johnny Suh. The more you seemed to converse with Jaehyun the more awkward things had become. Since the night you made out with him you ofcourse cut it off after your deal with Doyoung, but you wondered why Jaehyun never bothered to question your sudden disinterest in him. He just moved on. You greeted him during dinners and said goodbyes when he left, that was about it.

“So where do you disappear to at odd hours during the day y/n ?” Jaeyhun brought you over to a table, pulling your chair close to him.

“You expect me to hang around Haechan and friends ? no thank you” you scoffed and Jaehyun stuck his tongue into his cheek and shook his head.

“You never answer my question sweetheart”

“Is it any of your business ?” you raised a brow and you hated the smug smile that spread across Jaehyun’s face. Him getting you heated probably got him off or something.

Jaehyun leaned in and you caught a whiff of his overpowering Tom Ford perfume. “I know you’re fucking Mr Kim so cut the innocent act” he smirked, enjoying seeing the fear that now filled your eyes. There was no point in denying since he probably found out from his loud mouth uncle who Doyoung admitted to letting in on your little secret.

“Like I said, that’s none of your business” you kept your cool, waving at a waiter to order something strong to keep your nerves down.

Jaehyun politely waited until your order was received and again leaned in close enough to make you tense up.

“Let me cut to the chase here y/n” Jaehyun began, “this little secret might be the juiciest story in the last few years and if it gets out your dad’s reputation, Mr Kim’s reputation…”

“Nothing is going to happen because no one is going to find out” you cut him off. Jaehyun raised his brow as if you just challenged him.

“Help me out and I’ll keep your dirty little secret” he leaned back in his chair and smiled as the waiter brought over your drinks. You glanced over Jaehyun, trying to figure out what he could possibly want when he practically had it all.

“Remember I mentioned that the only reason I’m here is because of you” Jaehyun sipped his drink, “well turns out there’s a lot of perks in dating the heir of this resort.”

“Oh really like what ?” You rolled your eyes at him.

“There’s this film I want to star in and the director is obsessed with wanting to come to this resort during these ridiculous networking vacations” Jaehyun explained, “Now I don’t have the power and neither does my uncle have a say as to who gets an invite, only your dad.”

You frowned as you tried following what he was getting at.

“Why can’t I just tell my dad to invite the guy why do I have to be dating you ?”

Jaehyun sighed and placed an arm around your waist. “Wouldn’t it be just romantic ?” He smiled, “y/n and Jeong Jaehyun met at her fathers resort and now she’s accompanying him to the Cannes film festival officially as his girlfriend.”

“You’re delusional” you rolled your eyes.

“And you’re fucking your boy toy’s father let’s not play the morality scale here sweetheart” he smirked and honestly you wished you could punch him in the face.

“Remember, your fathers entire empire could come crashing down” he added and you felt a shudder go down your spine.

“..how can I be so sure you won’t say anything after the festival is over?” You asked in a small voice. This felt like a dead end situation.

Jaehyun pulled out an envelope from his pocket and placed it on the table in front of you.

“My uncles a lawyer and I’ll make sure this little agreement between the two of us stays equal and authentic, no fine print.”

You couldn’t believe this was happening. One minute you were in paradise with Doyoung and now you’re in a law and order episode with Jaehyun. But you couldn’t risk it. Not for Mr Kim and definitely not for your parents. Image was absolutely everything in this socialite world and one little mistake could ruin it all.

“What were the two of you planning to do after he divorced his wife anyway ? Get married ?” Jaehyun chuckled dryly beside you.

That was another question that always kept you up at night. Yes he was going to divorce his wife and be with you but the two of you could never go public. Your parents would be livid plus the press would have a field day. You could be dropped in university for your actions, the sin count was endless.

Maybe there was no happy ending after all.

You signed Jaehyuns agreement and decided to retire to your bungalow before contacting Doyoung about everything that had just happened. This may even be the last night you could spend with him.

While you were wrapped in your own thoughts Jaemin watched as his father got ready for the dinner party your father was hosting tonight. Everyone was invited but Jaemin already felt sick to his stomach that he’d have to be in the presence of both you and his father.

“Dad, are you almost ready ?” He knocked on the door as he watched his father scramble for a necktie.

“Yeah yeah almost done son” Doyoung chuckled as he finally picked one out, “gotta look good for the last big dinner here.”

Jaemin leaned against the door frame as he watched his father spruce himself up. He actually never noticed how much his mood had changed since they had arrived. He was dressing nicer, he was smiling more and honestly just felt like his old self again.

Jaemin couldn’t stand that he knew the reason for his fathers happiness.

“Okay let’s head out!” Doyoung draped his arm over his son's shoulder as he met his wife at the entrance and they made their way over to the grand dinner party.

All the investors were there and it seemed like they kicked off the drinking festivities quite early as the restaurant was brimming with lively chatter and clinking of glasses. You decided that despite your sombre mood you’d still dress for the occasion and stepped out in a lacy Versace midi dress that you had been saving for the end of the trip.

“Hey y/n that milf hunter has been lookin- wow you look great!” Haechan’s eyes widened as he took a second to look at you.

“Thanks Haechan, who knew you’d be the least hated person on my trip this year” you nudged him playfully.

“Character development” he winked before realising what he came over for, “oh I was saying that Jae-“

“Hello y/n '' Jaehyun approached you in a Prada custom, you figured at this point he was probably sponsored since that's the only brand he wore the entire trip.

“Hi Jaehyun” you forced a smile as he gestured for you to take his arm. Your stomach churned as you watched him flash that gorgeous smile to all your fathers elite guests, all the older women gushing and giggling when he acknowledged their existence.

“What’s going on with your brother and y/n?” Chenle asked Sungchan who just shrugged as he was just as confused as the rest of them. Jaemin was especially confused. Could he have been wrong about the woman his father had seen ?

Doyoung was a bit distracted by all the guests but he managed to catch a little glimpse of you when you were being introduced to a board member by your father.

You looked breathtaking and he couldn’t wait to tell you that. He wished he could just steal you away just for a minute and have you all to himself. He wanted to pepper your skin with soft kisses and tell you how beautiful you were. He wanted to show you off to everyone here that you were his.

But Doyoung’s smile faded when he saw Jaehyun slip beside you and his hand was placed on the small of your back as he joined the conversation. Jaehyun was behaving differently. He was attached to your side and now he had the distaste of watching Jaehyun press his lips against your cheek.

“Whatever he is doing I am not involved” Doyoung snapped out of trance to Johnny's voice beside him. The taller man offered him a whiskey as they watched the scene from a distance.

“I thought you said he’s not interested in her,” Doyoung said as he winced at the taste of his whiskey.

“You know how these kids are” Johnny shrugged, “one day they’re fighting next day they’re fucking like rabbits.”

Doyoung shook his head at Johnny's crude words as he continued to observe the strange interaction. That was until Jaehyun had locked eyes with him and he sent him a wink.

God he knew.

“You told your nephew ?” Doyoung pulled Johnny aside who was still pretty much oblivious to everything that was unfolding.

“Told him what ?”

“What do you mean! You know what” Doyoung shot back the rest of his whiskey in frustration. “Johnny, did you tell your indecent moronic nephew about y/n and I ?”

Johnny thought about it for a second and then raised his hands in defence. “He must have overheard me on the phone or maybe I….mentioned it while I was drunk.”

“You’re unbelievable” Doyoung spat and shoved the glass into Johnny's hands before making his way out onto the terrace for a breath of fresh air.

Meanwhile you finally found an excuse to get away from Jaehyun who decided that his next target for the night was some film star from the 80s that he wanted as a mentor. You walked out into the courtyard and blew out a sigh of relief that you were finally free from that place.

“Y/n….”

You looked back and noticed Doyoung was making his way down from another exit, probably sick of this party as well. You were so happy to see him finally, he’s the only person you wanted to see tonight. Doyoung moved down a path that was dimly lit and away from anyone at the party and waited until you were able to make your way over to him.

“Doyoung” you practically ran into his arms as the two of you  embraced tightly under the moonlit sky. You didn’t want to let him go. Especially after everything that had happened earlier on.

“y/n what is going on?��� He asked with concern as he studied your face.

“That bastard ugh” you cursed, “Jaehyun knows about us and now he’s blackmailing me into dating him for some film feature.”

Doyoung felt a burning sensation in his throat. Having someone like Jaehyun in on the secret meant it was done, it was over for everyone involved.

“Should I talk to him, what he says something after ? I could-“

“No” you replied, pressing your hands to his chest. “He made me sign an agreement that he wouldn’t say anything, as long as I do a few PR couple things for him.”

“This is my fault I should’ve never told Johnny I should’ve -“

“It’s not your fault” you cut him off again, “this relationship we have is complicated and after speaking with Jaehyun I realised that it’s going to be difficult regardless if he knew or not.”

Doyoung licked his lips as he figured what you were getting at. He never thought about how hard it would be to even start seeing you in your day to day life once he was a divorced man. Your father and him might ruin a good business relationship and opportunities for you could be removed based on what the public opinion would be.

“So this ends here then” he said defeatedly as he watched you fight back a few tears.

“I wish it could be different” you replied and looked up into his comforting eyes. Doyoung leaned down and pressed his lips against yours. The kiss was sweet and soft, it reminded you of the one night you were able to sleep over and finally fall asleep in his arms.

It wasn’t long until the kiss became intense, and Doyoung had you up against the stone wall pressing his body against yours as he ravished you with kisses. There was absolutely no way the two of you could sneak off so you were okay to get whatever little time the two of you had left. Doyoung pushed up your dress in a hurry as you undid his pants and got into a position that would give him easy access in the short space of time. Groaning as he entered you, Doyoung pushed your hair to the side and left open mouth kisses along your neck and jawline as he pounded into you, a few feet from your father’s dinner party.

“Doyoung I can't hold on any longer” you panted as you chased your orgasm. Doyoung planted a soft kiss on your cheek before quickening his pace and his soft whispers made you weak at the knees.

“Baby i'm going to fill you up and don't you worry this won't be the last time, I promise” he grunted until he finally released inside of you and quickly grabbed hold of your waist to help your balance. That was probably one of the best orgasms of your life and you wondered if you’d ever feel something  like that ever again.

“Did you mean it ?” you asked in a soft voice as Doyoung helped you neaten up.

“That it won't be the last ?”

You nodded and he cupped your face with his large hands, smiling down at you.

“It's tough right now, but after things begin to settle we can try going on a little private vacation, just you and me” he promised with a kiss on your forehead, “look at it this way, being apart for a while will just build excitement to seeing each other again.”

You chuckled and nodded once more, softly embracing him before realising it was probably time to get back to the party. As you walked away you felt a lump develop in your throat because while his gesture was sweet, you honestly had no idea if you'd see him like this again. Doyoung shared your exact sentiments and only said what he said to give you a piece of mind.

He watched you walk off and decided to go in the opposite direction to use an alternate entrance when he noticed Jaemin had been sitting slumped on the terrace chair watching him make his way over.

“Son, what are you doing here?” Doyoung cleared his throat and shoved his hands in his pocket to appear less nervous.

“Where were you dad ?” Jaemin deadpanned.

“I was..I was just-”

“How long have you been seeing y/n ?” Jaemin looked up at him and Doyoung’s chest felt heavy as his son looked at him with such disgust in his eyes.

“Jaemin what are you talking-”

“Look,” Jaemin cut his father off, “I went to your hotel room and figured it out, I didn't tell anyone and I don't plan to because I don't want to be embarrassed.”

Doyoung sighed and it felt like his entire world just crashed once more. From being a shitty husband the last thing on earth he ever wanted to be was a shitty father. He was selfish because he was unhappy in his marriage but not once did he consider how Jaemin would feel if, when he found out.

“I'm so sorry Jaemin, I really am and don't worry it started and ended on this trip” Doyoung tried to reassure the boy. “I made a huge fucking mistake because-”

“You wanted out of your marriage” Jaemin sighed and Doyoung nodded with guilt. Jaemin chuckled bitterly and looked off into the distance. “What’s more annoying is that Ive never seen you happier you know, I just assumed it was being away from the office.”

Doyoung listened intently as Jaemin shared his sentiments. “I cant believe the reason you had to suffer and stay in this awful marriage was probably because of me” Jaemin frowned and looked back at his dad, “Of course I hate that it was y/n but dad please live for yourself, I can't stand this person you have become in the last few years.”

Jaemin’s words surprised Doyoung but he hated that he didn't want him to think that you were the sole purpose for his new found joy. Being free was the root of his happiness and being with someone like you made him feel free.

“Look son, firstly us staying together was our choice and I apologise that you felt guilty for my change in character, that is not your fault and never will be” Doyoung reassured him and placed his hand on Jaemin’s shoulder, “y/n have ended what we have and shes with…Jaehyun now, don't worry about it okay?”

Doyoung would rather use Jaehyun’s blackmail to avert all attention all together and in turn that part of the deal seems more realistic and eventually everybody is happy. Almost everyone.

Jaemin felt a sense of calm that the affair was over and that you were moving on. He obviously hated Jaehyun but it was better to bury all of this and for it to never be revisited ever again.

“Okay cool” Jaemin finally said, “God I hate this resort.”

“That makes two of us.”

Back at the party you were practically on autopilot, doing the rounds of small talk with all of your father’s guests to distract your mind from Doyoung. This was what being a socialite was all about. Your lives were a mess just like anybody else but the media could only show the good side of it. The lavish parties, the power couples, the perfect children with the perfect grades.

That's all it ever was and will ever be.

The next day all bags packed you had your father’s closest circle had a grand breakfast then gathered in the lobby for the last goodbye.

“What a time huh?” Johnny Suh bellowed as he shook your father’s hand, “next time at the Maldives resort ?”

Were not fishing your drunk body out of the ocean Johnny” your father quipped as the two of them laughed in unison. You said your goodbyes to Chenle whose father was already rushing them into their car.

“Mr Qian is a true airport dad” Haechan shook his head.

“What is he late for ? He literally owns a private jet” Sungchan added.

You smiled as Jaehyun came over, you really played up the fake girlfriend thing because you had no idea what the psychopath was capable of next.

“Aw look at you, so sad to see me go” Jaehyun pouted as he moved a strand of hair out of your face.

“Hmm so sad” you gritted your teeth as you pulled him into a hug that involved a cheeky pinch to his side which only made him laugh. Jaehyun pressed his lips to your cheek and slipped his hand down to your lower back.

“Be a good girl now and I’ll be seeing you in New York next week” Jaeyhun smirked and made his way out with Sungchan and his uncle.

Jaemin shuffled awkwardly as it was now just your family, his and Lee Haechan. He watched as you and his father paid each other no mind as if nothing has or ever happened between the two of you. Doyoung tipped an employee that loaded their car and waited until his family had finished their goodbyes.

“Oh please do come to the next vacation, it was a pleasure having you” your mom hugged the Kims before Mrs Kim, her son and Haechan jumped into the vehicle.

“Yes Doyoung don't you dare go off and work in solitude like you always do” your father gave him a firm handshake.

“We shall see what the future holds,” Doyoung smiled before coming over to you. He almost felt like a stranger again with the way he stood his distance and held out his hand to you.

“I hope when you're not too busy we can play golf again” He smiled and you felt your heart flutter.

“I’ll let you know when my schedule is free Mr Kim.”

The End

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[the-green-musings]

Sustainable Fashion: Access is Key

Image by Priscilla Du Preez | Upslash In a previous post, I talked about Twitter's Menswear guy, an account by a man named Derek who shares about building a sustainable wardrobe with high-quality and long-standing pieces. Unfortunately, quality pieces always come at a cost, and the discussion of accessibility is a heated topic. A William Lockie Cashmere sweater mentioned in one of Derek’s tweets has been with him for 9 years and counting but costs roughly 500 USD or Php 27,237 (1 USD = Php 54.48). Derek himself expresses several strong views about accessibility, and while he acknowledges the issues regarding access, he stands firm in saying that quality pieces are something that most can afford with budgeting, second-hand shopping (which he creates guides for), and a change in mentality towards prioritizing quality over quantity.

As with the nature of Twitter, it’s easy to imagine that Derek has been in many arguments with people claiming that the kind of lifestyle he advocates for is simply impossible for some people. What stayed with me is a time Derek said he would be happy to offer advice for people earnestly struggling to find a way to shop for quality clothing, but he was not going to entertain exaggerated scenarios of parents trying to feed a family of five kids for the sake of argument.

Derek is clearly an American under the impression he is speaking to an American audience, but Twitter is an interconnected global space. In the Philippines, this exaggerated scenario is not so far from the truth. While a family of five is uncommon, it very well represents how many conversations around sustainable fashion do not keep the Global South in mind. The pricing issue is as clear as day, but even among those with the willingness and means to afford sustainable fashion, information, and accessibility is a key issue here in the Philippines. 

Fast-fashion brands dominate even the most high-end shopping malls. We would be hard-pressed to find physical stores for the brands Derek mentions such as J.Crew, Magee 1886, and Paul Stuart, and to ship these products from overseas would simply be counterintuitive to sustainability. Another approach could be to buy from local sustainable fashion brands. Finding these brands is an exercise in itself. While there are many local brands that use recyclable fabrics or practice waste minimization, the approach taken by these companies is still underpinned by the same pursuit for newness and variety that motivates fast fashion. The clothing is still affordable, and while biodegradable, would not be expected to last a lifetime.

I prefer the perspective on sustainability that Derek advocates: sustainability is buying less but buying better. It is a difficult mindset to adopt in terms of both price and access, but what Derek can do for a global audience is to create awareness for this lifestyle. To an American, these brands may be obvious but unaffordable alternatives, but as a kid in the Global South, they are possibilities I could have never considered until now.

[mercurygray]

@shoshiwrites really just handed me 'single dad falls in love with his daughter's ballet teacher' and then didn't think I would do anything with it.

He wasn't really sure what you wore to the ballet.

It wasn't really a ballet, at least in the formal sense, just a technical rehearsal for the local company, but for six year olds there really wasn't a difference, so out came a collared shirt and a sweater, and a party dress for the six year old, and the sparkly mary-janes that Annie had bought because 'everyone ought to have a pair.'

Emily had been so happy when they'd learned they were having a daughter - bought the little pink shoes, and the hairbows, and the Angelina Ballerina book even though everyone had reminded her it would be a long time before the baby was old enough for books with sentences. It was a foregone conclusion that Olivia would be signed up for ballet classes when she was old enough - even if Emily wasn't there to bring her when the day finally came.

Your mom would be so much better at this, Dick thought to himself, realizing, with a pang, that Olivia's braids were crooked or her hair tie was falling out or her leotard was on backwards.

He didn't like being bad at things, particularly when being bad meant all the other moms gave him pitying looks and sweet smiles and told him how wonderful it was that he was trying so hard.

(He told Harry and Kitty about this, once - Kitty laughed over her rosé and told him it wasn't just pity.)

They were out in force today, the mothers, all dolled up for thier afternoon mother-daughter dates - and, here he was, in cashmere and khakis, feeling out of place. (And again, the smiles - god save him from the smiles.)

They'd gone to lunch, beforehand, at thier favorite Italian restaurant. Olivia had played at being very grown-up, and had asked for a candle because, she said, very seriously, that 'they were on a date.' The hostess had taken them very seriously and had not only brought the candle but tirumisu for dessert. Dick remembered wiping whipped cream off Emily's nose and tried not to cry.

She was always going to have options. They'd decided that early. She was going to have dolls and trucks and dinosaurs and wear whatever colors she wanted and they would sign her up for soccer and for dance and she could keep whichever one she liked better. And Olivia just kept loving everything. Just like your mom, Dick would think to himself.

"Do you remember what your teacher said about best behavior today?" Dick asked, the flowers in his lap crinkling in their plastic.

Olivia nodded. "She said we should be really quiet, and we shouldn't clap until the very end, when the music ends. And she can't wave to us, but she can meet us afterwards. And we have to sit still through the whole thing, even though she has a solo."

Dick nodded. "You did a very good job of listening to Miss Joan."

Olivia preened, pleased to be good at following rules. (If anyone doubts you're my kid, there it is.) The lights dimmed, and a voice from above reminded everyone to take their seats, and Olivia bounced a few times in her chair before Dick laid a hand on her arm and reminded her that ballerinas were always very good at being still.

Kitty had helped him find the studio - one of the other teachers at her school had a roommate who worked there and had the fives and sixes classes, and was said to be really good. A real ballerina, Olivia had said, on the first day of class, practically skipping out of the studio. "We got to see pictures of her in her tutu and everything!"

A real ballerina, indeed - attached to the local company, teaching classes on the side to make a little extra cash, and more than happy to provide a little outing for her students when it came time for the annual fundraising performance. She was kind like that, Miss Joan. As teachers went he counted himself lucky that Olivia had a nice role model to put up alongside Annie and Kitty and Emily's sisters - women who went out and did things, like Emily did.

The lights went down, and the six year olds quieted, and the music started, and Dick took a deep breath and let his eyes adjust to the darkness. The whole performance was a series of vignettes from different dancers - an ensemble piece from Coppelia, a more modern thing in blacks and blues and moody lighting - and Miss Joan's solo, of course.

Ballet, where the women were always princesses and the dresses always sparkled - at least in the version you gave to six year olds, usually just The Nutcracker and maybe Swan Lake, if you didn't actually tell them the whole story. What is Miss Joan dancing today? Juliet, was the reply. She's from a play by Shakespin - Shookspea - Shakespeare. She has a really pretty blue dress, but she's not a princess so she doesn't get a tiara.

Listen, the tiara was important stuff, when you were six.

But then the music started, and she came out onstage, and he was…overcome.

There wasn't anything particularly sexy about how one showed up to ballet class - just black leotards and leg warmers and slip-on shoes, and a smile that wouldn't quit. But to see her onstage in glitter and gossamer, capering and smiling like a girl at her first party, shy and unaware of her own charm was…something else. And it wasn't just…the line of her leg, or the length of her back, but…something else, something just out of reach. Where's Romeo, Dick wondered. Can we hold him offstage so Juliet never dies?

But then the music ended, and the dream did too, and Dick found himself clapping as loudly as the rest of them, the flowers in his lap falling to the floor. (He remembered where he was, and picked them up again - Miss Joan didn't deserve crushed flowers.)

The girls were a giggling, electric mess after the performance, romping around the lobby trying to do pirouettes they'd never been taught to do and humming along nonsensically to music they couldn't quite remember. Dick stood back from the group of moms and scrolled through his phone, glancing up every now and again to make sure no one had started to climb a chandelier.

The dancing gave way to a circle, which gave way to a game of Red Rover, and finally - finally! the woman of the hour appeared, and the children flocked to her like magnets, bouncing and shouting and all talking at once. Dick hung back, waiting until everyone else had had a turn before calling his daughter's name so she could come and stand by him.

"Did you forget something?" Dick asked, gesturing with the flowers. Olivia clapped her hands and grabbed the bouquet, presenting it to Miss Joan with a flourish.

"Oh, thank you, Olivia. These are lovely."

"Daddy helped me pick them out. He said girls always like roses."

Dick felt himself blush, never wanting to be outside a conversation more - or away from someone's gaze. "Well, he's not wrong," Joan said with a smile that was clearly meant for the both of them. "Thank you for bringing her. I'm sure Saturdays are very busy."

"We went on a date!" Olivia announced proudly.

"Were you going to tell Miss Joan something else?" Dick asked pointedly, feeling himself blush again under the mortifying idea that it had been three years since he'd been on anything resembling a date. Olivia looked at him like he'd asked her to speak in Greek. He mouthed "her dress" in a stage whisper until she realized what he meant.

"I think your dress is really pretty!"

Her smile could have lit up the stage. "I think your dress is really pretty, too, Olivia," she said. "We should take a picture, and your dad can send it to me."

He took several, Joan striking a pose that Olivia could copy, his daughter positively radiant with delight. "Please do send them," she said, reviewing them on his phone. "Let me give you my number."

Her number! You sly dog! He could almost hear Lewis crowing somewhere. Focus, Dick. Focus. She's Olivia's teacher. I'm sure there's something unethical here.

[tenta-cute]

Dumb Little Harringrove Thing 4/∞

Hell hath no fury like a Billy Hargrove creatively constipated. Or, well, maybe not fury—not anymore—but definitely some firm annoyance.

The abandoned poem lies scattered over the pages of his notebook, reviewed so many times it’s a miracle his favorite pen still has any ink left. Old habits keep prompting him to find something to drink—some mediocre rum or maybe a shitty beer for old times’ sake—but it’s been years since he had last enjoyed a drink without someone nearby to keep him company.

Some habits are not worth returning to.

He makes tea instead.

Bathed in the warmth of the setting California sun, his little nest looks like something out of a fairy tale; warm and cozy, soft in the way that Billy would’ve never associated with himself, and yet here he is. The smell of orange and cinnamon swirls in the air.

He burrows deeper into his cardigan, chasing warmth provided by high-quality cashmere. It’s a bit silly to be wearing such a thing in Cali, where winters are sunny and mild, but he always feels a bit cold these days. When he was a kid, he used to run hot in more ways than one, shirt unbuttoned all the way to the navel even in fucking December in Indiana, but then the Shadow happened and here Billy is, not even thirty and already down a spleen and one kidney, with busted circulation and nerve damage that sometimes keeps him up at night. Wrapped in bulky sweaters. Doing yoga instead of lifting weights. Drinking cinnamon tea instead of alcohol.

...It’s not that bad. Better than the alternative in which he’s rotting in a tiny wooden box, that’s for sure.

Now armed with a cup of hot tea, Billy looks at the coffee table, where his work remains temporarily abandoned.

When he had first started to write it was as a form of self-therapy—half-assedly picked from the list suggested by Owens, chosen purely by virtue of being less girly than, say, knitting or scrapbooking—but somehow it turned out that Billy Hargrove has a knack for something other than fist fighting and being a disappointment. Words that he would never say out loud turned out to be easy to put on paper, flat and disconnected from the emotions they bring, thus significantly less threatening.

Billy filled the first notebook before he re-learned how to walk.

Fast forward ten years and he now gives people business cards with the word Writer right under his name.

Sometimes he still has to sit down and ponder how the fuck it happened. William Hargrove, former playboy and general menace, current writer with two moderately successful tomes of poetry to his name and a small but dedicated fan base that does shit like write him letters about how touched they were by his words and how much they related to his struggles, what the fuck. (He tries not to cry when he reads stories from people who are just like him.)

Billy sits down, drinks some tea, and picks up his notebook. He winces immediately.

He always feels guilty when writing about Max.

They don’t hate each other anymore, but their relationship is still strained and built on old hurt that new understanding never quite scrubbed clean. There was a time when everyone expected them to start over, rebuild themselves from scratch in the context of a real brother and a real sister, and they tried. They tried for years, until they realized that the best they can do is polite amity and decided to leave it at that.

Sometimes Billy wonders if its because in his heart he had enough space for only one sister, and the gap was filled almost immediately by Jane. Sometimes he wonders if he hurt Max by allowing someone else—a stranger—to take the place that was prepared for her.

Maybe he should write about Jane instead.

Billy drinks his tea and re-reads the poem for the hundredth time, as if he doesn’t know every single line by heart by now. The more he reads, the more he feels words slipping out of control, as if his thoughts are drifting away. Leading him somewhere else, somewhere he doesn’t care to go right now.

“Fuck that,” Billy announces to the empty room and drops the notebook back on the coffee table. He’s been trying to avoid the elephant in the room for hours now, but there’s no point in pretending he can write anything while in this kind of shitty mindset.

He doesn’t deal well with loneliness, is the thing.

Billy brings the empty cup to the kitchen, washes it, dries it off with a towel, and puts it back on the shelf—an old routine, one too useful to bother uprooting from his brain. Neil is quietly rotting in his shitty little house back in Hawkins, destined to die alone in the small-town prison he tried to condemn his son to. Billy can pick and choose which rules he wants to obey now. He can keep the useful ones and ditch everything else.

The little post-it note he’s looking for is stuck to the fridge with the horrible plastic magnet shaped like a slice of radioactively yellow pizza—a small piece of Argyle’s brilliant idea of a housewarming gift, that is a pack full of weed and pizza-themed memorabilia.

Billy consults the note a couple times as he dials the unfamiliar number. Counts the beeps. Waits.

“Hello?”

Billy sighs. His shoulders relax at the sound of familiar—albeit unpleasantly tinny—voice in the receiver. “Hey. It’s me.”

“Hey, you,” says Steve, and it’s like all the miles and miles stretching out between them are suddenly gone.

Steve sounds tired—the kind of tired that even enthusiasm can’t quite mask. It’s late in New York. He should go to sleep soon.

But Billy is a selfish bastard.

“How’s work?”

Steve groans.

“Somehow both very shitty and very rewarding? The team is awful—getting them to do anything is like, a major achievement. No idea where the hell my dad found that project manager. Fucker is worse than Keith from Family Video.” Steve laughs tiredly. Billy basks in the warmth.

“Yeah?” he asks, almost breathlessly. “Tell me about him.”

It’s not that he’s particularly invested in Steve’s job. Steve’s job is fucking boring, some paper-pushing, meeting-organizing, numbers-watching thing that Mr. Harrington had eagerly pulled out of his Burberry-clad ass. Steve doesn’t really hate it—at least not the way he expected to hate it back when he was a teenager and the prospect of working for his dad was just a looming threat—but it’s still a brain-dead office job without much potential for personal growth.

Such is life. You don’t always get what you want. You don’t always get what you deserve.

At least it pays well—more than it should, really, not that Billy is complaining.

Steve talks about some guy named Cliff who sounds like a complete prick, one of those older guys who are too close to retirement to give a fuck, too comfortable in their belief they are irreplaceable, too confident in their outdated ways to listen to some kid young enough to still have all his hair. Billy closes his eyes, tries to tune out the tinny static. Pretends that Steve is right next to him, leaning against the wall with a cup of his gross yerba that smells and tastes like wet cigarettes.

“But I’ve somehow managed to whip them into shape,” Steve is saying, a little more lively now. A little satisfied. “Maybe this branch won’t collapse the second I skip town.”

“When are you coming back?”

Yeah, yeah, Billy is clingy and pathetic. Sue him.

“On Thursday,” Steve says firmly, and from the unyielding tone of his voice Billy can kinda tell that he must’ve waged at least one office war for this. “Abigail wants me to stay till the end of the week and fly home Saturday morning, but fuck that. I’m not a miracle worker.”

Their conversation briefly strays towards Abigail, who apparently still believes that Steve is one of those ambitious and bloodthirsty young sharks instead of a glorified office worker he actually is, and as such keeps trying to help him bump up his position in a rat race he is not at all interested in participating in.

Abigail is a bit dense.

“Okay, enough about my shitty job,” Steve says. “How’s the poem going?”

Billy scrunches up his nose. Ugh.

“It’s not going.”

“Ah.”

“Yeah.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Yeeeeah,” Billy drawls, toying with the coiled phone cord. “I think I might have to… Dunno, either scrap it or sit on it for a couple days. When it comes to Max there’s something I can’t get out of my system.” He yanks at the cord a couple times, watching it stretch and bounce back, stretch and bounce back. “It’s like I’m constantly chasing after closure I’m never gonna get—don’t tell me to just talk to her.”

He can hear Steve’s mouth shut with a click on the other end of the line.

Yes, Billy should talk to Max. Yes, Billy knows that. No, Billy is not going to talk to Max. Even the usual hour-long catch up sessions they do whenever a holiday demands a customary phone call end up sapping all the strength from his body, and they rarely go beyond the safety of small talk. Maybe it would be different if they could talk face to face, but Max and Lucas live in fucking Canada where there’s even more snow than in Indiana, so there’s no way in hell Billy is ever going there. Cold temperatures make him—nah. If he could, he would move to fucking Africa. Either way, he can’t ask Max to leave her perfect little life abroad just to come all the way to California so they can talk.

It’s fine. They’re fine the way they are. No point rocking the boat.

“Billy? Baaaaabe?”

Billy coughs. “Yeah,” he mutters, “Yeah, sorry, just… You know. Max.”

“I know,” Steve says. “Anyway. What else are you up to?”

“Not much. This morning I spent three hours on the phone talking Jane through an oil change.”

“How did that go?”

“She’s getting the hang of it,” Billy says, and tries not to sound as overwhelmingly fond as he feels. “Would’ve probably went faster if we didn’t spend at least one of those three hours talking about fashion.”

He waits for Steve’s affronted squawk and is not disappointed.

“Why is she talking to you about fashion? You used to have an honest to God mullet!”

Billy grins at the absolute indignation in Steve’s voice. “Yeah, and you fucking loved it, asshole,” he drawls.

“Yeah, no. It was like a rat’s nest. Gross,” Steve argues, as if he’s not completely obsessed with Billy’s curls, no matter their shape or style.

“She’s a rebel, baby. Of course she’s gonna talk to the guy who wears a leather jacket and knows the importance of waterproof eyeliner,” Billy purrs into the phone. “If she talked to you… Man, you’d probably try to put her in pastels.”

“I don’t think this is as strong an argument as you think it is,” Steve says slowly after a brief moment of nearly audible cog-turning. “I put you in pastels and you look stunning.”

Billy idly picks at the sleeve of his cardigan.

It’s yellowish beige. Like sand on the beach.

“Fuck off and go to sleep, Harrington,” he mutters, lips curling faintly at the sound of Steve’s victorious laughter. “I’m serious. It’s late. Go to sleep.”

“Jesus, I really should, huh? I have a conference in the morning, because, you know, Abigail fucking hates me. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Sure. In the evening, okay?” Billy glances at the coffee table, where the abandoned notebook somehow manages to look outright accusatory. “I gotta drop by Brianna’s office. Get a fresh perspective and shit.”

He’s pretty sure that Brianna is just gonna tell him what everyone else is telling him—that he needs to talk to Max—but Steve won’t be back home for two more days and Billy’s already had enough loneliness to last him an extra lifetime or two. So he’s gonna talk to Brianna and maybe even offer to write some blurbs for her, even if Billy really fucking hates writing blurbs. They make him feel like a used car salesman.

“Alright—“Whatever Steve wanted to say next drowns in a massive yawn.

“Bed time,” Billy says pointedly.

“Yeah, yeah. G’night, babe.”

They’re too old to play the you hang up, no, you hang up game, so Billy just grins and makes an exaggerated kissing noise, a saucy mwah that makes Steve cackle.

The line goes dead.

The apartment is still empty, but. Warmer.

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[mandoalorian]

Loving You For You [Maxwell Lord x GN!Reader]

Summary: Maxwell Lord is struck with a panic attack when he's getting ready to shoot one of his famous infomercials. He's hit with the trauma of his youth and begins to spiral, until you, his loving partner, show him that it's okay to feel afraid and it's okay to find admittance in his struggles.

Warnings: descriptions of poverty, starvation, body dysmorphia, panic attack, general insecurity, brief mention of addiction (alcohol and gambling), brief mention of abuse.

Rating: PG-13

Word count: 2000>

Author's note: So many of you loved 'Perfect to Me', which was about a reader who had their own body dysmorphia (you can find it in my Masterlist under ‘Maxwell Lord’, and asked me to write more. I put a little twist on things and wrote this, a one-shot in which Maxwell suffers from body dysmorphia and struggles to leave his past behind him. Reader discretion advised.

Masterlist

When Maxwell Lorenzano was 6 years old, he owned one pair of shorts and two t-shirts. He had no choice but to wear them throughout the coldest winter in history, his knees red raw from the cold, and they lasted him for two years until he quite literally was growing out of them. When he finally parted with them, his mother gifted him with a dark blue knitted sweater, and Maxwell swore it was the best present he'd ever received. He'd finally feel the warmth he craved so desperately. The warmth that other children got from their parents embrace...he was getting from an itchy sweater that smelt like cheap beer and cigarettes. But it was his, and it was all he had.

After Maxwell's father stole all of the money for his gambling and alcohol addiction, he left Mrs Lorenzano with just five pesetas to feed the small family for a week. The brown eyed boy remembered that winter as the worst one yet. The bedwetting had gotten bad again and he had never gone so hungry. He remembered his stomach rumbling in class and his cheeks would flush as the other kids teased and laughed at him for it. He remembered stealing a banana from another kid's packed lunch, getting caught, and told that if he continued to steal, he'd be nothing but a criminal low-life just like his father. But he was just hungry. His shoes had holes in them so his toes poked out. He bathed in a tin bucket once a week right up until he was a teenager.

And thirty years later, Maxwell Lorenzano, or Lord, as he now went by, was staring at himself in the full length bedroom mirror. Everything was perfect. He'd proved everyone back home wrong. He became someone. Someone esteemed, someone important and someone with a heightened self worth. People asked for his autograph in the street and preached to him about their love and admiration for his work. He was a man who could make dreams come true. Everything was perfect… or so it should've been.

It didn't fit. Maxwell picked at the way the pale pink polo shirt clung to his body. He turned to the side and sighed when he saw the way it highlighted his little tummy. He sucked in his breath, trying to flatten it, but it didn't really work. And for a split second he considered how many meals it would take to lose that little bit of weight. This whole outfit had been tailored for him just two weeks ago and it was perfect but now he hated it. He didn't just hate it. He felt disgusting.

It was weird. Sure his insecurity about his body image was rampant as he took in his appearance, but he didn't feel like himself.

Truthfully, when he changed his name from Lorenzano to Lord he had done it to start anew. That name was his father's and he wanted no association with the man who had abused and tormented him and his mother. But when Maxwell Lorenzano became Max Lord, it was like the struggle ended. He'd fought for so long and so hard trying to fit in with the modern-day example of a successful businessman. He was the least American all-American man. He dyed his hair blonde, even seeked a vocal coach to try and rid himself of his accent. And it worked. Everything was being handed to him on a silver plate. He was the coverboy of Forbes, the owner of three country clubs and day spas across America. The Wall Street Journal were constantly on his case, wanting to interview him. He was swimming in cash. He had everything he could ever want. But it wasn't him.

He felt like a fraud. A liar. A con-man. And as he looked at his reflection in the mirror, he saw nothing but the broken little boy he was thirty years ago, wearing ill-fitted clothes and a fake smile. It wasn't meant to be like this. He was spiralling.

"Hey honey?" he heard your sweet voice call from the next room, your footsteps approaching down the corridor. His tense composure relaxed ever so slightly when he heard you coming, and he grabbed the white suit jacket from the top of the dresser, quickly pulling it over him. He didn't want you to see him like this. See his tummy and the way the stupid shirt didn't fit him the way it did two weeks ago. You'd seen him naked plenty of times and deep down Maxwell knew that you wouldn't care, but he just felt so vulnerable in his own skin. "The camera crew are waiting downstairs in the lobby and they're getting antsy," you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose in frustration as you padded into the bedroom. "The director is insufferable, Max. I keep telling him this is your infomercial, not his, but he just-- hey, Max? Are you listening?" you narrowed your eyes with concern. Maxwell hadn't looked at you once since you walked into the room.

"Hmph? Oh yeah." he murmured, turning back around to see if his tummy poked out even wearing the white jacket over the shirt. It didn't, which was a relief for him, but the padded shoulders of the jacket made him look huge and boxy. And it was just another thing he began to hate about himself.

"Are you okay?" you asked, biting your lip and walking towards him. You wrapped your arms around his waist and placed your hands over his tummy. He winced. "Max?"

"Yeah I'm fine." he said quickly, pulling out of your grip and buttoning up the suit jacket.

As he was about to leave the bedroom to start shooting the latest infomercial for his company, Black Gold Cooperative, you grabbed his arm and pulled him back. You popped open to the button of his suit jacket, freeing his tummy, not that you noticed. "You should keep the jacket undone," you hummed. "I like you in pink." You placed the palm of your hand on his chest and subconsciously began to brush him down, straightening his collar so he looked as smart as possible.

"I might get changed. Don't really like this outfit." Max muttered with a frown that made your heart ache.

"Wh-what? You loved it when you tried it on for me at the tailors the other week. And you look so good. Is there something going on?" you asked curiously as Maxwell stepped away from you.

He sighed in defeat (and slight frustration), before ripping the jacket off his body and letting it pool to the ground. "Look." he said, pointing his finger aimlessly at his tummy.

"What?" you asked, genuinely bewildered.

"Look." he repeated again, wiggling his ring clad finger this time.

"Maxie you gotta help me out here," you replied. "What am I looking at?" You noticed Maxwell's lips begin to quiver and tears prick his dark glazed eyes. He swallowed a lump in his throat that he didn't realise he had before slapping his hand over his face in shame and breaking down into a heaving, sobbing mess. "Oh Max," you cooed, taking him in your arms and guiding him over to your bed. You sat him down on slid next to him, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him into your chest. "Baby what is it? You can talk to me."

"Nothing fits," he hiccuped, and you felt his tears dampen your own blouse. "I feel disgusting. I feel fake and. Disgusting. It fit two weeks ago- and now-"

"Max," you hushed him, running your fingers through his golden locks of hair. "It fits you perfectly. You look amazing, and I'm not just saying that because I'm your partner, I'm saying it because it really truly does. You look so handsome." you promised him.

"When I look in the mirror all I see is the old me. The me who wet the bed, who starved and stole and who couldn't save my mother from my father's horror and abuse. I moved here to escape it all, but it still haunts me. It follows me and I can't- I just want it to stop." Maxwell confessed, the tears now streaming down his face.

You had dated Max Lord for three years now, and you were both deeply in love with each other, but he had never quite opened up to you about his past trauma. You knew little things here and there but you never expected it to be so bad. Your boyfriend was suffering and you felt so helpless.

"I hate myself." he continued through a choked sob. He began to feel so constricted in his clothes, tugging his pink shirt. It felt like he couldn't breathe, and you saw the panic on his face.

"Hey, breathe with me. Let me help you." you whispered, cupping his face with your hand and wiping away his tears. He found himself subconsciously leaning into your touch and he followed your breathing. Inhale for seven seconds and then exhale. And repeat. It was working. As he followed your breathing, you gently began to undress him and as you discarded the garments of clothing he began to feel better.

Leaving him on the bed, you promised you'd be back in one second, quickly darting into the walk-in closet and bringing out some of his comfiest cashmere pyjamas.

"I- I can't," Maxwell panted. "I have to shoot the- the infomercial."

You shook your head, unfolding the pyjamas. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, okay? This is your infomercial. Not anyone else's."

"I can't let them down." Maxwell insisted, looking back at the clothes that were pooled on the floor. He had to be brave. For once he had to be brave.

"No," you said sternly. Maxwell looked at you with doe eyes. "I want you to change and get into bed. I'll be back in one minute, I'm just going to let the crew and the director know that we'll do this another day."

"Yeah but-" As always, Maxwell Lord was the most stubborn man on the planet. "I can do it. I can- I can-"

"Sweetheart," you whispered, planting a kiss on his forehead. "There's no shame in admitting when you can't do something. No shame in struggling. I love you all the same."

"You aren't embarrassed of me?" he sniffed wearily.

"How could I be? I feel like the luckiest person on the planet because I scored with you. You're the most amazing, gentle, compassionate guy I have ever met. Max, I wish the rest of the world got to see you the way I see you. You are perfect." you smiled and Maxwell felt his cheeks flush pink.

"I love you so much." he confessed, and you giggled, leaning in to brush your lips against his.

"I love you too," you smiled warmly, nudging your nose against his. "Get comfortable and I'll dismiss the crew. I'll bring a VHS up and we can watch a movie in bed too. Anything you fancy?"

Maxwell pondered for a second, trying to remember his wide selection of filmography he kept in one of the living room cabinets. He could always go with one of his favourites— a guilty pleasure he liked to indulge in when he craved comfort. "Breakfast at Tiffany's?" he asked with a hopeful glint in his eye.

"Oh yes, we haven't watched that one in a while! I'll make us both some herbal tea too," you exclaimed, handing him a comb so he could brush out all the hair product and reveal his natural waves. "We've been needing a movie day." you commented.

"Let's not do anything," Maxwell grinned. "For once. Let's just relax and cuddle and watch movies."

"I can't think of anything better." you smiled cheerily, pinching his cheek and giving him another kiss.

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[fific7]

Dangerous and Divine - Part 3

Billy Russo x Reader

Summary: Billy Russo is an itch you don’t want to scratch. But he’s all over you like a rash.

A/N: This does not follow canon, it’s mainly lemon zest 🍋 The GIF is from Exposed, unreleased pilot show in case you’re wondering 😌... Billy vibes.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content including oral sex, between consenting adults. Some drinking & swearing.

(My GIF)

“Nothing to see here,” you muttered and scooted across the café as quickly as you could, heading for the sanctuary of your office.

Closing the door firmly behind you and heading straight to your fancy CEO swivel chair, you sat down and shakily placed your hands flat on the desk. You took some deep breaths. That stupid big idiot and his BDE! How dare he kiss you like that in front of everyone.

And even worse, leaving you all hot and flustered like some kid who’s never been kissed before! Let’s be honest, that’s what was really getting to you... he hadn’t actually bent you over the counter and fucked you, but by your reaction he might as well have.

How ridiculous, you told yourself sternly, get a grip! You put your forehead on the desk’s cool surface. They’d all been staring at you, and you could feel your face heating up again at the thought of them watching Billy kiss you really quite passionately. And you melting like a complete fool in the process.

After a couple of hours hiding out in your office, you knew you’d have to face the music sooner or later and made your way back down to the café. The regulars, you saw, had gone by now so that was something but by the mischievous looks on your co-workers’ faces, you knew you were in for some serious teasing.

You made your way over to one of the two monster Gaggia coffee machines in the café and started making yourself a cappuccino. “Anyone want one?” you asked over your shoulder. Jake said he’d have one too, but the other two passed. You could just feel their curiosity crackling through the air like electricity. They were of course fully aware of the Ex and that whole daytime soap plot, but were just about losing their shit as they didn’t know anything about this hot dude, who’d walked in to the café and kissed you like he knew you extremely well.

You handed Jake his coffee and helped yourself to a danish cinnamon pastry - yeah, eating the profits again - munching into it and then pointing at your staff members with it. “Okay, guys. Here it is. In its entirety. I went to little cousin’s cocktail party last night as you know, and met the guy who was in here earlier. We left the party, went for a couple of drinks elsewhere, he drove me home, I got out of his car and he drove away. Like, immediately I got out.”

You really didn’t feel the need to mention the kiss he’d stolen before you got out of his car.

Gabrielle’s mouth fell open, “You met him last night???” The implication being that A) how was that possible and B) where did that kiss come from if you hadn’t slept with him? You sighed, taking another bite of pastry. “Yes! And as I’ve just told you,” you looked around to make sure there weren’t any customers in earshot, “he did not stay the night, okay? He didn’t even get out of his car.”

“It’s just that it looked a bit ...” Steve trailed off nervously. “Well...umm... friendly... for someone you’ve only just met,” finished Jake. You nodded. “I’m aware of that. What you saw there was the Billy Russo Show, done purely to embarrass me. He’s a cocky big shit. And trying to get me to go out with him.” “Are you going to?” asked Gabrielle. “Oh, hell yes! Wouldn’t you?” Jake almost got whiplash, he nodded so emphatically, “Yes. Yes, I would.” You all had a good laugh at that.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

There were only 2 days to go until Friday, and you found yourself panicking. What to wear, what to wear? OK, after mentally reviewing your wardrobe you decided that a shopping trip was in order.

Hanging up your new purchase in the wardrobe, you felt pleased with your choice. Nothing too flashy - you weren’t sure of the venue, so went with smart/casual - a sleek navy number, wraparound style, mid-thigh length and showing only a hint of cleavage. Less is more right?

Teamed with a pair of metallic navy heels, it would be fine. You hoped. What if he was taking you somewhere really low-key? Oh well, you shrugged, if you ended up looking a bit like Cinders at the ball in some local pizzeria, so be it.

Jake and the others were still buzzing about your upcoming date, in fact you’d eventually asked them if they wanted to come along too. They’d at least had the decency to look guilty, but only a little. You were sure that if they found out where you two were headed, they’d follow you. You decided you’d better check for shadowy figures tailing you on Friday night.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

8pm on the dot, the buzzer sounded in your apartment, Billy’s voice announcing that he was downstairs. You were not quite ready, still had a couple of tweaks to make so buzzed him up. He strolled in as you opened the door, leaning in for a kiss to which you turned your head, so it landed on your cheek. “Lipstick!” you trilled, moving back towards the bathroom. “I won’t be long, have a seat. You’re looking good, Russo, by the way.” “Thanks,” you heard his voice from the other room, “and you’re looking absolutely gorgeous, sweetheart.”

You’d felt happier when you saw that he was also smart/casual.... what looked like a cashmere burgundy sweater over black jeans, with a leather jacket. He looked edible.

When you emerged back into the living room five minutes later - a veritable vision in navy, you mockingly smirked to yourself - Billy Russo was nowhere in sight. You stopped in your tracks, and then heard a drawer opening in your bedroom. You walked through to it, just in time to see Billy picking up a pair of your lacy silk panties out of your underwear drawer.

“Russo!” you yelled, “put those back, you perv!” He slid the smooth fabric between his long fingers, grinning devilishly at you. “Mmmmm, are you wearin’ something similar right now?” Before you could stop yourself, you bit back, “Who says I’m wearing any at all?” His eyes widened, a big grin appearing on his face. “Oh, really? Wanna prove it?” “No!” you replied, knowing your face was scarlet, “just forget I said that. I’m joking with you.” He shook his head, “Yeah, like I’m goin’ to get that image out of my head anytime soon.”

“Let’s go, Billy,” you said, walking to the front door and pulling on your own leather jacket. “Hey, we’re matching,” he laughed, pointing between your jacket and his, “ain’t that sweet!” “It’s creepy, actually. Matching clothes? Vomit-inducing.” He laughed, “You’re funny.” “No, I’m just not some soppy sappy woman who’s going to fall at your feet, Russo.” He took your hand as you closed and locked your front door, and the two of you headed for the stairs.

“Yeah, I’d kinda got that vibe already,” he grinned at you, “but it doesn’t matter, I know I’m gonna get you in the end.” “Just keep on telling yourself that,” you snarked back.

Looking at the back of his head as he walked down the stairs in front of you, you really wanted to run your fingers through that hair but managed to keep your hands to yourself.

Fastening your seat belt, back in the gleaming Wraith, you watched Billy’s fingers as he fastened his and then placed his hands on the steering wheel. You mentally shook yourself, you were beginning to fantasise about different parts of his body and you’d better snap out of it, you told yourself.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

He took you to a really nice Italian restaurant, not too posh, just nice and relaxed with friendly staff and really good food. The conversation from the night in the bar was picked up where it left off, each of you adding more and varied information. You learned that Frank had sadly lost his wife and kids when they innocently got caught up in a savage gang war gun battle. Billy told you that his friend had gone off the rails for a while, but had recently met a lovely lady called Karen and they’d started dating. He was really pleased for him, as he’d been so worried about him for a while. You thought you’d quite like to meet Frank sometime.

You told him something more of your life, thankfully not involving assault and cheating ex-boyfriends this time. He’d been fascinated and truly appreciative of the struggle you’d had to get your business off the ground, saying that he’d been lucky in having a major investor lined up before he’d even left the Marines.

You saw a dark look flit over his face for a moment, but then it cleared and he went on to ask you more questions about your business. You’d both chatted easily together until it was almost midnight, and you’d become “that couple” who were the last ones in the restaurant. You realised that, when he dropped the ‘Billy Big Dick’ nonsense, you really enjoyed his company and felt that you two had clicked even more this evening.

He drove away from the restaurant, and it took you a few minutes to notice that he wasn’t driving the route to your apartment. “Billy,” you sighed, “are we heading to your place by any chance?” That damn smirk was back on his face. “Yeah,” he said, “I’ve seen yours, so now you can see mine.” ”Oh, ha bloody ha. I’m not sleeping with you, you know.” A grin appeared on his lips as you glanced across at his profile, illuminated by each passing streetlight. “Just keep on tellin’ yourself that, sweetheart,” he replied mockingly. You laughed out loud, “You cheeky big bastard.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

His apartment was everything you would’ve expected - open plan, with modern, sleek furnishings and decor in dark masculine colours. You settled yourself onto the large sofa, and he headed to the kitchen area; a moment later, you heard wine being poured then his tall figure reappeared, holding the two wine glasses. He handed one to you, and you took a sip - it was very good wine. “So, Billy... I’m guessing your li’l batchelor pad here sees quite a lot of action, and not the type you saw in the Marines, huh?”

That smirk. He sat down next to you, hand going to rest on your shoulder and playing with a strand of your hair. His expression became serious, “No. I don’t bring women back here.”

You scoffed, “Oh come on, Billy... you’re...” then you stopped, looking away from him. “I’m what?” You shook your head. “C’mon, what were you going to say?” “Never mind. Well, if you don’t bring them here, let me guess... you go to their place and disappear before the morning light?” He shifted uncomfortably on the sofa, breaking eye contact with you. “Okay... that, I can’t deny. How did you guess? And what were you going to say before?”

Oh to hell with it, you thought.

“I was going to say... you’re hot, Billy. So obviously - unless you’ve got a problem down there and need some little blue pills...” his eyebrows rose, his mouth dropping open slightly before he started grinning, “...you won’t be a saint and you’re more than likely a player.”

He leaned in towards you, eyes staring deep into yours, “Firstly, I have no problems with my equipment in any way shape or form,” ....smirk... “it’s in perfect workin’ order. And I’d be more than happy to prove that to you.” His lips met yours in a kiss, quickly growing heated. He pulled away, making eye contact again, “And you’re right, I’m no saint. A player? Yeah, maybe. But I can be a saint for you, if you want me to be.”

“But that wouldn’t be the real Billy Russo, would it?” His eyes were still on you. You carried on, “Look, I’ll level with you. I like you - when you’re not wearing your BDE persona. It’s a total clichè, but I really don’t intend to be just another notch on your no-doubt designer bedframe.”

He smiled at you, “I get it, I really do.” He trailed a finger along your cheekbone, “I wouldn’t be tryin’ to be someone I’m not. I just meant that I like you too, and I feel comfortable dropping the persona with you.” You smiled back. “OK, but Billy?” “Yeah?” “I’m still not sleeping with you.”

Laughing, “Oh, yeah?” pulling you against his chest, a hand going to your cheek as he kissed you long and hard. Breaking away, hand on his chest, you whispered, “Yeah...”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy was poised above you, looking down at you as if you were something he wanted to devour. Your clothes had joined his on the bedroom floor a little while ago; you were both lying on his very large bed, and yes it was designer-made - you’d asked him.

He gently pushed aside a strand of your hair, before kissing your lips. His mouth then made its way slowly but surely down to your neck and collarbone, and you felt little nips on your skin before his tongue licked your skin slowly. He moved slightly lower and sucked your nipples while his hands were busy massaging your breasts. Your hands moved to his broad shoulders, pulling him down further so you could feel more of his skin against yours.

You heard a chuckle, “So yeah, I guess you really aren’t gonna sleep with me after all, huh?” You shifted out slightly from under his body, “Shut up Billy, and put this to good use,” letting your fingers trail down to his hard length. You slid your fingers around it and gave his tip a firm squeeze. His breath hissed between his lips, and those big hands pulled you back underneath him. “Don’t worry, I was gonna.” You smirked, “I confess I was impressed when I saw what you were packing,” another squeeze, another hiss, his mouth on your neck, “but actions speak louder than words.”

He laughed, “Be careful what you wish for, sweetheart.” Deciding to head for the mother lode, you gave him one last squeeze, firmer than before, sniggering as his hips shot forward. “Same to you,” you said, before sliding your hands into his silky hair at last. Running your fingers right back through it, you sighed out loud and grabbed a handful with each of yours, and tugged. “I see you like my hair,” he smirked.

You leant forward and kissed him, hard. He groaned, kissing you back even harder. Then your hands ran over the muscles of his chest, down the trail of hairs on his lower stomach, before grabbing his cock and wrapping your fingers round it. He growled, “And what ya gonna do with that, sweetheart?” You began stroking him firmly, “This.... until you decide to get off your ass and do something.”

He laughed out loud, and suddenly his hand was between your legs, his thumb on your clit, rubbing hard. His lips at your ear, whispering, “Something like this?” and you felt a long finger plunging into you, swiftly joined by a second one. He began sliding them in and out, curling them, and it had an instant effect on you, your breath hitching. “Billy,” you sighed, your hand stilling momentarily on his length. You heard his low chuckle, and he increased his pace. Okay smartass, you thought, and gave his tip a very firm squeeze. “Aahhh!” you heard, and gave him another one for good measure. “You minx,” he laughed, then picked up pace with his fingers again. Then they were gone from you, and you saw him moving his head downwards, hands moving to your hips, his tongue replacing his fingers. He was lapping at you, his thumb back on your clit, and now you really were in trouble.

You grabbed his shoulders, digging your nails in, beginning to writhe on the bed, and then his fingers were back, sliding in next to his tongue. The combination of thumb, tongue and fingers was like an incendiary bomb going off in your core, and you could feel your climax building by the second. His pace increased and that was it, the explosion happened and you now grabbed his head like a vice, keeping him where he was as the aftershocks of your orgasm washed over you in waves. Very pleasurable waves. Finally, you released his head and you saw his dark eyes meet yours, a satisfied glint in them. “That was only number one, angel,” he grinned, “fasten your seat belt.” “Cocky bastard. And I’m an angel now, am I?” He moved up and back over you, hands sliding up your body.

“For sure,” kissing your neck, nipping the skin lightly with his teeth. “And I’m so lucky, havin’ one in my bed.” He sat up, opening a drawer in his bedside table, scrabbling around until he produced a condom, unwrapping it and holding your gaze as he rolled it on.

His hands moved to your breasts, palming them then circling his thumbs over your nipples as they peaked once again. You grabbed that hair of his again, little gasps making their way between your lips. Your feet were flat on the mattress, knees either side of his thighs and you felt his hand moving down, then the head of his cock was between your legs, edging its way in. Billy thrust right inside you, and there were loud groans from you both as he sunk in. “Mmmm...” he kissed you, tongue diving into your mouth, then he pulled away, gazing at you, “you don’t know just how good you feel around me.” You shifted a bit, rolling your hips to his, “About as good as you feel inside me.”

A low growl, then he was moving on you, fast right from the get-go, his thrusts forcing a moan from you on each stroke. Your legs moved - seemingly of their own accord - around his hips, and this new angle obviously pleased both of you, as the noises the two of you made got even louder. You felt him deep inside you, and every time you squeezed and held him there, he actually whimpered.

“Good puppy!” you managed to gasp out, hearing an answering snort of laughter from him. “I am not...” he gasped back at you between thrusts, “...a fuckin’ puppydog, sweetheart.” “But Billy, you’ve got those big brown eyes ...” your own eyes closed at a particularly forceful thrust, “...and you are fucking me, so...”

His only answer this time was to pull one of your legs higher onto his back, thrusting deep as he did, and then his hand cupped your breast and massaged it hard. That shut you up.

His fingers were at your inflamed core again and then he was rubbing at your clit, making your back arch with sheer pleasure. He was switching between kissing you hungrily and nipping and sucking love bites onto your collarbone. Thank god he wasn’t targeting your neck, you thought, that would look so professional at work. You, meanwhile, were over-indulging in your obsession with his hair, running it back off his forehead with your fingers and tugging on it to your heart’s content.

Finally your over-pleasured body couldn’t take any more, and your climax hit you like a truck. Your nails dug into his muscled shoulders, grabbing him in a death grip and a small scream of “Billy!” exited your open mouth. You felt him give a few sharp thrusts, realising that he was about to come; you heard your name, then a long groan and he released his warm seed into you. He sunk down onto you, kissing you softly but with passion, long fingers laying gently along your jaw and neck as he did so.

“Angel....” he sighed.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

@blackbirddaredevil23