#cardboard lookalike

[irisintheafterglow]

blood moonlit, must be counterfeit

summary: a guy at a party has a really good dynamight costume, and you two get to talking about your favorite heroes. (pro!bakugo x you)

wc: 1.68k

cw/tags: swearing ofc cuz it's bakugo, mentions of drinking and alcohol, halloween party, first meeting, emotionally constipated katsuki and reader is kinda oblivious lol

note: NEW HALLOWEEN HEADER BABY also this idea had me by the throat so i needed to write it down before it consumed my entire psyche. i'm back to writing for bakugo again because iykyk and halloween fics are giving me a lot of motivation right now. hope you enjoy!

likes, reblogs, and replies are always appreciated <3

“I have to admit–your costume is pretty damn good.”

“Yeah? Just ‘pretty good?’”

“Mhmm. Almost looks like the real thing,” you remark, taking another sip of the dangerously sweet jungle juice in your cup. It's an unreadable mix of bad ideas and bold flirtation, perfect for a Halloween party of barely 21 adults. The blonde guy beside you on the worn leather couch tilts his head slightly like he's re-affirming what you just said in his mind. “I think the real Dynamight would be impressed.”

“Would he, now,” he huffs under his breath, mouth curling into an unreadable smirk. He exhales a quick breath of what you think is amusement through his nose, eyes flicking over your body for the umpteenth time since he sat down with you. It makes your face heat up and you casually avert your gaze downward, catching more details of his costume that you didn’t notice before. 

The gauntlets were obviously the star of the arrangement, covered in numerous scratches, burns, and dents that attested to their “battle” usage. The boots were impressive, too, and you wondered how long it took to place every individual orange eyelet over the front of each calf. The cinder block rectangles sitting on his broad shoulders truly looked like real stone, solid like the toned muscle holding them up. It was the domino mask that threw you off the most, though. The guy must have been wearing bright red contacts, or something, because to look so similar to the actual Pro should have been considered a crime. 

“Who’d you come to the party with?”

“Just some friends,” he replies, shrugging an infuriatingly sexy shoulder. His entire look was putting the real Dynamight to shame, in your opinion. He nods upward in the direction of a guy in an equally accurate Deku costume standing with a very convincing Shoto lookalike. “They dared me to wear this and I lost the bet.”

“Must have been some bet, if you’re moping over here like a toddler.” The shrewdness of your words escapes you until they’re already past your lips; thankfully, he just smirks again and leans his head back, resting an arm on the back of the sofa.

“I’ll ignore that you said that, 'cause you're clearly intoxicated” he mutters, shooting you a brutal side-eye. Thanks to the alcohol, though, you’re far from deterred. 

“How gracious,” you chuckle and his smirk gets a little more arrogant. “What was the bet?”

“Some dumb drinking contest. That asswipe in the green can put down more shots than he looks.” He scowls and you fight down the urge to giggle at his bitter expression. He was the only guy you’ve ever seen that could make a grumpy face look hot. The only guy besides Bakugo himself, of course. “I wouldn’t have worn this shit to a party to save my life.”

“What, Dynamight isn’t your favorite Pro?”

“I’m more of an All Might guy,” he replies nonchalantly. He appreciates the classic heroes. Good sign. “If I had to choose a different one, I’d probably say Jeanist.”

“Jeanist is pretty cool. My best friend had a cardboard cutout of Eraserhead in her closet growing up.” He barks out a laugh and it startles you, but a mysterious feeling in your stomach wants to make him do it again. “What do you think of the current gen of heroes?” He hums thoughtfully, running his tongue over his top lip and you swallow back your drool.

“Red Riot’s a good guy. Deku pisses me the fuck off, but he’s got a good head on his shoulders. Same thing with Pinky and that Half-and-Half asshat. Chargebolt…” His expression turns into a frown so deep you’re worried that Chargebolt killed his family or something heinous like that. 

“What about him?”

“He’s just dumb. If given the choice between his life and a grain of sand, I’d take the sand,” he deadpans and you choke unexpectedly, wincing as your drink travels up the wrong tube and into your nose. His eyes widened in concern, reaching out to pat your back but deciding against it at the last moment. His glove-covered hands hover around you like you’re radioactive matter, carefully watching as you regain your composure. “You good, nerd?” Uses the same vocabulary as the real guy, too. Kind of weird, but I guess we all have our idols. 

“Yeah, I’m good. I just didn’t expect you to badmouth him like you two were friends from high school or something,” you joke lightheartedly and the guy blinks at you twice before computing what you said. 

“It’s whatever. They’re super fuckin’ easy to read, in any case,” he states with an air of finality and you down the rest of your drink, the dim lighting starting to blur everything around you into a single greenish-orange blob. “What about you? What are your thoughts on the new gen?”

“I can’t make such bold judgments as you, but I do think Dynamight is pretty cool,” you admit, suddenly feeling a little bashful when having the same question turned on you. The truth was, you followed the lives of the heroes a bit too closely than the average person should. It fascinated you so much that you were majoring in Quirk-specific journalism, studying the social and economic consequences of being a Pro. “I think his public persona is an interesting case when compared to other heroes.”

“How so?”

“Well, I’d like to imagine that he’s not always the loud, arrogant, obnoxious piece of shit that the press shows,” you start and narrow your eyes in confusion when he flinches at your description. You continue anyway but choose your words a little more carefully. Probably isn’t good to upset the guy who might have fashioned functioning gauntlets, if the costume truly is accurate. “There’s a side to him that I think the public doesn’t know about and doesn’t care to know about, since it’s easier to understand him as a loudmouth with no sense of manners. I just wonder who that guy is under all the yelling and testosterone.” His silence is deafening and you worry that you somehow offended him, but his tone is so gentle that your assumption becomes an impossibility.

“Seems like you’ve given this guy a great deal of thought,” he says lowly, voice barely audible over the sound of the blaring house music. 

“Well, he is my favorite,” you add quietly, not expecting him to catch what you said. He does, though, and that mischievous smirk returns to his face. Somehow, you two had inched closer together over the course of your conversation, and you were now close enough to smell his cologne. It was something deep and smoky, with a surprise note of sweetness, like caramel. “I’ve been following his hero career since I was in high school.”

“I didn’t take you for a superfan, but I do appreciate your support,” he chuckles and your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “You seriously haven’t figured it out?”

“Figured what out?”

“That I’m Dynamight, stupid. This is my actual costume and those are my actual friends. Hell, I'm paying for this whole shitty party,” he says incredulously, genuinely shocked that you didn’t come to that conclusion already. Your skepticism, however, rears its head and you burst out into rude laughter. 

Dynamight? Yeah, right. More like Dyna-maybe. 

“Excuse me?” He stares at you like you’d grown three heads and your heart drops into your stomach. You must have said your thoughts out loud. Fuck! “You’ve got some nerve, testing the patience of a Pro.” His words, under any other circumstances, would have cut down your pride like a knife. However, his eyes were conveying a different story, one of lust and want and holyshityouwantedhim. “Got anything to say, sweetheart? Or are you gonna just keep gaping like a fuckin’ goldfish?” You abruptly snap your jaw back into place, leaning your head into your hand and smiling in triumph when his gaze again uncontrollably rakes over your body.  

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“See what, gorgeous?”

“That a Pro kisses better than a normal person,” you murmur and his pupils blow to the size of pool balls. He wastes no time, gently but firmly grabbing your chin with two fingers and pulling your mouth onto his. His lips are ridiculously soft and you muster up the courage to bite him softly, heartbeat racing when he groans into your mouth. One arm drapes itself over the back of the couch, the other pulling you as close to him as humanly possible without practically sitting on him. Your hand combs through his hair and the other keeps him on you by the back of his neck.

Right when you run out of breath, he pulls away and swears colorfully at the phone buzzing in his pocket, answering it with one hand while his forearm is still pressed against your lower back. You absentmindedly trace his jawline with a finger while he curses out the person on the other line, eventually chucking the device over his shoulder like it was the last thing he was thinking about. “You need to go somewhere, sweetheart?” He lightly pinches your side at your mockery and you jump, flicking his forehead in defiance. 

“Nah, that was a job for Dynamight. Right now, I guess I’m still fuckin' Dyna-maybe,” he rasps and leans back in to kiss you again but you push his face away, giving him as sober of a look as possible. “What?”

“If you need to go kick ass, then go kick ass. I��m just some random makeout at a party,” you remind him, painfully aware of the sting if he was to leave you alone. His expression contorts into indignancy again but you still try to convince him to alleviate whatever situation he was called in for. “Your job is more important than a hookup.”

“I don’t do hookups, dumbass. I’m interested in you,” he states plainly and your face is set on fire. The Pro, who you just insulted to his face, was interested in you? “So, let’s get out of here, yeah? I can make you dinner that isn’t shitty pizza.” His mouth breaks into a devilish grin and you’re already grabbing onto his hand like your life depended on it. 

“If someone messes with us?”

“It’s a good thing I’m already in costume.” 

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[viofitz]

McDonald's Happy Meal Despicable Me 3

Introduction:

A Happy Meal is a kid's meal sold at the American fast food restaurant chain McDonald's since June 1979. A small toy or book is included with the food, both of which are usually contained in a red cardboard box with a yellow smiley face and the McDonald's logo. The packaging and toy are frequently part of a marketing tie-in to an existing television series, film or toyline. In this review, it's from Despicable Me 3 (DM3) movie aired in 2017. The line up had 22 toys in total counting from every region releases, unlike it's predecessors the line up expanded by featuring several human characters and a robot with different functions. It features Gru, Lucy, Agnes, Balthazar Bratt, Clive (there's Dru, Margo and Edith as well but, there's no physical toys of them), 12 minions figures, 2 kinds of board games, dominoes and a playing card game. Their gimmicks are very different compared to the predecessors such as shooting toys, wheelie toys, movable parts by button or just simply tapping their head, passing toy, hockey game, board games and playing card. The whole toys doesn't have any electronic gimmicks anymore which I'm quite okay since replacing the battery are kinda pain in the butt.

Human

New to this line, there're 6 human characters in total which 5 toys riding/driving their own vehicles (animal for Agnes). However, I don't have 2 Balthazar Bratt's toys including his robot sidekick Clive since I don't like them. In this review, only 4 of them that I will show, most of them are wheelie toys but, each of them got their own unique feature:

Gru's Hydrocycle, has a shooting feature which you need to attach Gru's Hydrocycle with his sub-marine cover then pull the button to shoot him out of the sub-marine. Gru's head is movable very little due to his head is close to both of his hands. This gimmick was made to recreate when Gru emerges out with his hydrocycle from the sub-marine (Although, we only get to see Lucy performed this while Gru and his minions are shown offscreen). In Indonesia, he can be bought by mcdelivery only.

Lucy's Hydrocycle, is a pull back bike which you only need to roll its rear wheel backward then release it to go forward in fast motion. Lucy's head is also movable and can rotate 360 degrees. Until now, this is one of the few toys made for her. Lucy is only exclusive to Australia and Canada.

Agnes' Rockin' Unicorn, it's Agnes riding her fluffy Unicorn doll. It has one wheel underneath the unicorn, when you roll them, Agnes toy will wiggles due to the mechanism made for this toy. Agnes head is also movable slightly.

Despicable Duo, a wheelie car toys that has rolling drill part by rolling the front wheels. The cockpit can be opened to reveal the interior and there's an attached sticker featuring the twins; Gru and Dru. The actual name of this car is Villain Wheels and was originally belongs to Robert Gru (Gru and Dru's late father). While the car is cool looking but, I really wished they'd made a mini figure of Gru and Dru for driving the car instead of a sticker but, it's understandable for a happy meal toys.

The Minions

There're 12 kinds of minion toys in total:

Minion Tongue, has tongue out feature by the button on his jumpsuit pocket, and he also got movable arms. Most sources claimed it's Dave but, he can be anyone that has similar looks to Dave. The toy packaging doesn't mention the minion's name.

Banana Launcher Minion, it's a shooting toy that is similar to Gru's Hydrocycle and Crab Bite Minion but, this has longer range. While I like the gimmick of this toy but, the banana design is kinda lame despite it fits for them. I was hoping like a gadget just like they did on Despicable Me 2 series. He has combed hair similar to Dave or could be his lookalike.

Crab Bite Minion, has a jumping hat gimmick by pressing the button on his backpack. I think this was meant to be Jerry since he's the only one who wore this kind of hat in the 3rd movie but, the toy got combed hair decal like Dave.

Minion Hydrocycle Surprise, has open lid part on the rear part of his hydrocycle to show an art of presumably Jerry. Which you need to push the button on the front wheel. This toy features Minion toy in mini size due to his large vehicle. They would later released more mini minion toys in Minions: Rise of the Gru line up. Minion Hydrocycle is exclusive to Asian region.

Rocket Racer Minion, this minion has wheels underneath his butt and pull back feature but, you'll have to slide the toy forward to make him go backward and will spin several times showing like a rolling rocket. The minion in this toy got also got messy hairstyle which presumably meant to be a spiky hair so, he could be Carl. I think they don't want to waste more materials to make a separate buzz cut hair part like they did in the previous releases.

Pumping Iron Minion, the feature is simply moving the peg on his back right to left to swing both of his arms to show he's having arms exercise by lifting heavy metal dumbell (since the dumbell was painted silver). This minion is shown with angry expression and he got a tattoo on his left temple. Despite having jail uniform, the uniform still got sculpted "Gru" initials on his pocket. Meaning this was supposed to be a minion with his usual jumpsuit. He looks similar to Stuart since he has combed hair.

Minion Antics, similar to Pumping Iron but, the gimmick is to spin his right arm like he's spinning a chain by pressing the button on his back. This Minion also has messy hairstyle so, he could be either Tom or Phil.

Groovin' Minion, this plump minion is given a swinging 2 arms gimmick by pressing his head to show like he's dancing and his legs will also shrunk down to his body. But, you can still make various position arms for him like dancing or playing DJ. He's wearing green colored headset and has buzz cut hair similar to most of fat minions, he's the only fat minion included in this line up. He could be Jerry the fat one or anyone.

Hillarious Hockey Minion, it's an air hockey toy which has 2 minion toy sitting as paddles and a hockey puck inside the paddles. The 2 minion toys are similar to Dave and Stuart.

Banana Flipper Minion, this toy is kinda special I think... Since he is included with 3 accessories; that is a red hoop and 2 bananas. The purpose of that hoop is for Tim/Kevin holding the hoop for us to flip the 2 banana accessories into the hoop hole. This tall minion can be either Tim or Kevin or anyone that has their looks. He's only exclusive to America and Australia continent.

Pass The Minion, like the name you play pass the toy with your family or friends. In order to determine the winner and loser, there's a wind-up gimmick located on his back which you'll need to spin, then toss the toy to your opponent's hand then your opponent also do the same to you. If the toy starts vibrating on you or your opponent's hand, you or your opponent lose. The vibration came from the wind-up's mechanism but, the trick on how the toy was able to hold up the vibration is because it was locked by the minion's hair sticking up. Another tall minion that has Tim and Kevin's likeness, he's only exclusive to America and Australia continent.

Variety Games

There're 4 kinds of variety games included in this set and all of them were only released in either US and Australia but, I only have Despicable Deck and Despicable Checkers:

Despicable Deck, this isn't actually a toy since it's a playing card, it features many characters from DM3, that is; Agnes as a ace spade, Unicorn doll as a ace clover, Edith as a ace heart, Margo as a ace diamond, Dru as a jack, Lucy as a Queen, Gru as a King, and Balthazar Bratt as a joker. While the minions as respective numbers, kinda surprised on how they designed the numbering cards features different kinds of minion arts. All artworks featured in this set were drawn in 2D style instead of using 3D renders. The card only available in Australia and US.

Despicable Checkers, It's a checkers game which requires 2 players to play the game. However, I don't know the purpose of the minion toy included in this but, we can make him glowing and his hat's headlamp will like flashing a light by putting flashlight/smartphone (flashlight mode) on the bottom of his foot. The glowing part is similar to Stuart Light Up Grabber but, without electronic mechanism inside the toy, and I like how the minion toy came to be in solid color except his foot and his headlamp. I think that's the only feature of this toy has. He may have Dave lookalike but, could be anyone with different hairstyle since his hat is sticked onto his head. He's only available for Australia release.

Thoughts:

Comparing between 2013 to 2015 line up, I gotta admit DM3 was the time where Happy Meal featuring Despicable Me franchise at it's peak as the details of the toys are even better than the previous 2 movies. Although, I kinda miss the electronic gimmicks but, this is a big improvements on the moldings. Minion's jumpsuit has sharper details such as seamline details, protruding Gru logo details, detailed shoes including shoe soles and paint quality is much cleaner for the minions. However, I still prefer the separated buzz cut hair part they did on the previous instead of simple paint dots or simply messy hair. And the variety of the toys are also interesting such as human characters and several board games, I'm amazed that they actually nailed their likeness as well, except Gru's nose😂. It is unfortunate, they went downgrade in 2020 onwards so, I'm nolonger interested collecting them anymore but, I'm interested on the 3 Minion toys featured in Japanese Happy Meal Universal Studios line up. I will review them along with other toys that I'm interested in. So far, Hydrocycle toys and Groovin' Minion are my personal favorite.

[clairehadenough]

This will be a little crass.. so sorry for that but..

Chris could be standing right in front of a …. certain someone and go

‘Look, here’s my wife Alba’ and introduce her and show off their rings. Then he could say to that certain individual ‘and now here is our sextape go and watch it’

And she would still claim that the Alba next to him is a cardboard cutout/ super exclusive robot and the video is all photoshop or lookalikes. 🙄😬

The scary bit in what you’re saying is that I don’t think you’re exaggerating. I can totally see her/them having this reaction

[leam1983]

Glass Onion

I'm staunchly in the "Miles Bronn was an unrepentant faker and his Mona Lisa copy was stretched cotton canvas" camp.

As to how his ultrarich idiot friends could've bought that; do you honestly think these are people who would visit the Louvre? Bronn could've set his repro up specifically for bragging rights with his guests. For more proofs, see his offensive piling of art for the sake of base ownership, and hanging a Marc Rothko upside down.

What was even less believable was a Dave Bautista lookalike maintaining a presence on Twitch. Founded or not, the entire Web just pointed fingers and laughed at Andrew Tate. Consequently, I doubt a wannabe ultra-virile debatable "stud" like Duke would've even managed to ascend to levels of wealth and fame needed to hang with Fake Musk. This is like saying PewDiePie could possibly be seen hobnobbing with a wealthy sleazebag.

What was incontrovertibly real, though, was Rian Johnson's skewering of the ultrarich, and particularly of Elon Musk. The sooner Western culture goes back to treating its financial elite like the vague specters they existed as prior to the two-thousands, the sooner we'll be freed of the Rich Bro grindset that's deluded half the planet into thinking that added capital translates into added IQ points.

That said, Johnson missed his chance to have a Musk expy crow "I'm not owned, guys! I'm not owned! I'm still totally based!"

The movie ended with Sarah glancing at our El Cheapo Mondrian repro on laminated cardboard, and lifting her glass of No Name orange juice with a smug look on her face.

"At least ours is hung upright."

[julianoleksiukcas]

Service - November (3 hours)

Me and my girlfriend Maria decided to help the local children hospital located at żwirki wigury. Through the foundation of Ronald Mcdonald we received a very interesting job to do in preparation of the upcoming holidays. We had to asamble 16 tree lookalikes from cardboard cut-outs. This has proven to be more challenging than we estimated as the pieces were not clearly marked to see which one fits which. Afterwards we had to distribute the trees one by one to each of the wards in the hospital. Finally we needed to clean up the mess we made from the small pieces of the cardboard cut out that was given to us, also we needed to throw out the larger leftovers to a special place located at the other end of the hospital.

I believe that we made a very good job, we took our time so that each tree could look it's best and bring the most joy to the ones that will need it. even though it took us longer than what we aimed for we know that our job was solid and up to a high standard. Afterwards came a very interesting experience, this is what I liked the most about that day, we could travel the whole hospital so that we find the correct room a tree was planned to be in. This meant that we could learn about the hospital and how it functions. This was a really interesting day for me. To top it all of for the last 40 min, we had to make several trips to the garbage area that was also proved to be unlike any other, some containers were sealed so that the medical, contaminated garbage does not endanger anyone.

[tenfoldrage]

Suddenly faced with their doppelganger, the Doctor's stance reads incredibly surprised and a little bit suspicious. They don't recall dying their hair red in their past, and now, as their lookalike speaks up, he certainly sounds different from them, too.

"I agree, actually. I would have much preferred to be ginger, but regeneration had other plans for me. Where the hell did you come from?" With blatant disregard for discretion and without waiting for an answer, the Doctor hops up onto the ledge by the window and begins inspecting the glass. Out comes their sonic screwdriver pointing at the glass, buzzing away as they try to analyze whatever it was that just spit out their doppelganger.

Upon jumping back down, they stare at the readings on their sonic, a frown spreading on their lips. Then, they look up at the other with the same furrowed intensity, reaching into their pocket with their free hand and pulling out a pair of cardboard 3D glasses (you know, the blue and red ones). Once the glasses are on their face, the Doctor's expression becomes somehow even more frowney. This guy is covered in voidstuff— a sure sign of interdimensional travel.

"You aren't from around here, then, I take it." They finally say, removing the 3D glasses and shoving them back into the depths of their pocket. "You just traveled through a dimensional gateway— or rather, more like a crack. It seems to have snapped shut behind you." The Doctor points their sonic screwdriver at the newcomer and scans him, checking the readings. "Who are you, anyway? How'd you manage to fall through?? Why was there even a crack in the first place? This is so, so wrong!"

GIVE ME COFFE OR GIVE ME DEATH! a pretty cruel but terribly valid name to name a coffee shop. it had quickly become crowley's favorite coffee shop. not that he drank a lot of coffee. but he liked sitting in it and staring out the window to look right at the book shop.

crowley liked sitting in his car but sometimes it was just nice to NOT sit in it, to sit somewhere warm and surrounded by chatter and laughter. it was nice. his gaze stayed locked on the book shop across the street, always anticipating aziraphale to either leave or arrive. but after some time something small seemed to slowly creep into his vision. it was distracting. like a snail it moved up the window and the demon pulled back to inspect it.

❝ ... ❞

what was that? the glass was about to crack? but then why weren't there any other cracks except right in front of his face? ❝ uhm? ❞ he lifted his hand but nina was too distracted to notice and no one else bothered to come to his table so crowley leant forward again, tapping the crack and preparing for a loud thud for when the glass might break. then he got the idea to just "fix" it with a little miracle. but quickly realized that it didn't work.

❝ wot... ❞ miracles didn't work on that crack? this made the demon a bit nervous and he scooched even closer, pressing his finger tip against it when his hand disappeared inside it. he looked at nina again but literally no one seemed to notice what crowley was just going through. he tried to pull his hand out of whatever sucked it in but the more he struggled the more of his arm disappeared. and then everything happened pretty fast. before he knew it he landed on his rear ... outside the shop (?)

❝ OUCH!!! wot kinda bloody coffee shop even is this? ❞ he complained, pushing himself off the ground and dusting himself off. everything seemed to look like always. he even saw his car, still carefully parked outside. what just happened? [ who are you? ] crowley raised an eyebrow and turned quickly. ❝ ... ❞ and what he saw was W E I R D.

❝ mate, you've got the wrong hair color! ❞

[agentboulder]

can i also say how happy i am so much of the sets are actually real. i shouldnt be surprised that james marsden was in a real canoe in actual water but i was! also mushroom planet seems to be a ton of real props?? as well as the mean bean after it transformers into the lab! and even beyond that i love how they used actual lookalike stand-ins for the cgi characters? they could have used a cardboard box really but idk i really love how much effort gets put into the sets and effects

[believeitseeitdoit]

Back To School Night

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: cursing, fluffy as hell, overload of cuteness? Don’t read if you don’t like happy endings

Summary: you’re setting up your school classroom when your boyfriend Bucky comes to support you and save the day

This is an un-beta’d Drabble, solely to be read for a smile and maybe some happiness, be kind or go away

You’re sweating like a whore in church as you set up the last of the chairs for your classroom. Every desk had a team logo and every chair had 4 tennis balls on the bottoms to prevent that horrid scraping noise. Your class theme this year was secret agents, and you used the old SHIELD symbol as your continuing logo. Each group was given a team mascot, a different avenger, and your desk was set up as the director’s office. You were insanely proud of how much work you had accomplished and put into this new adventure, finally getting your own classroom and students to teach, you hadn't stopped smiling for a week after you and Bucky had found out you got the job.

Climbing off the floor and dusting your knees off, you shoot a text to Bucky showing him your handiwork and get a thumbs up in response alongside an update on the meeting he’s in with Fury and Sam.

Bucky: I swear if Nick compliments the bird man again on his plans, ima slap a hoe.

You burst out a giggle at your boyfriend’s text lingo, and fire back a simple memo.

Y/N: Darling, murder is illegal, even for dead not dead ex assassin current hero super soldiers 😘.

Setting the phone back on your desk, you take stock of what else you need to be ready for the open house tonight. The interactive board is queued and your presentation bio for the families is ready, you have deodorant and your freshen up bag in your purse so you don’t actually look like a pig, and your work clothes are…. SHIT! You internally screech, you had left the other bag full of your nice clothes in the garage when you left this morning. Fuck fuck fuck, you continue to scold yourself while formulating a plan of how to get the rest of your room ready and get yourself taken care of in the next… hour?! Shit fuck shit damn it aghrrrrr FUCKKKKK ME!

You slap a palm to your forehead and decide to just roll with it. Quite honestly, leggings and a t-shirt in late July is not unheard of, and the parents might even appreciate your casual demeanor…. your boss is kosher, but you still worry about the impression you could make shine you have only been a substitute for her before now.

Instead of dwelling, you decide to speed through the finishing touches on your room; door decorations first, then the string lights in the reading corner, little airplanes and origami hanging from the ceiling tiles last. A few taps to the smart board bring up your classroom friendly Spotify and you get to work as The Lion King original soundtrack chimes through surprisingly decent speakers. The SHIELD logo and your handmade heli-carrier ramp lookalike instantly reinvigorate your spirit of setting up, and you sing along to the Disney tunes while you tack up the lights for a soft fairy glow.

Due to your rather pitchy and obnoxious rendition of “gonna make a man out of you”, you didn’t hear the knock at the door. So when Bucky slid up behind you and wrapped you in his arms for a hug, you screamed bloody murder and elbowed him in the gut.

“Ahh! Fuck what the- Bucky god damnit what are you doing?! You scared the hell out of me!” You run to pause the music and chastise your soldier for his sneaking.

“Doll, I did knock, but you were a little preoccupied getting ready for your Idol audition” he chuckled as he looked around the room.

“This looks great Y/N, your kids are gonna love this. I am so proud of you for finally getting your dream.” He wraps an arm around your waist and his vibranium hand in your hair to angle you up to meet his gaze.

Those eyes are more electrifying than a lightning strike, and a thousand times prettier, you can’t help but be sucked in by them. You smile and push up onto your toes, going in for a chaste kiss.

“I couldn’t have gotten this far without you baby, you have been there for me every step of the way. Now I have one question, can you reach up and fix that banner?” You look above him and notice a team symbol is out of sorts, conveniently the Falcon team.

Bucky chuckles and shifts the cardboard back into its frame, “Sam’s doesn’t deserve to be level, he needs the shift. Oh I came here for a reason, here you are my lady.” He picks up the bag you hadn’t noticed during your curse-scapade.

“Thank fucking god, omygod Bucky I fricking love you so much baby, I can’t believe I forgot it this morning I just had so much junk in the truck already and it slipped my mind.” You profusely thank your boyfriend and go to kiss him again when the intercom buzzes.

“15 minutes until open class night begins faculty, please be ready at your doors in 15 minutes!” The secretary calls out in her cheery voice, reminding you of your current debacle.

“Shit, ok, um I’m gonna change, can you just shut the door please? Stand guard or something so my principal doesn’t get an eye full of my sports bra or my boyfriend?” You run with the bag of clothing to behind your desk and quickly strip down the sweaty items and spritz a bit of smell good on between changes.

Bucky can help but smile at you and laugh as you fall sideways onto your ass trying to shimmy your work jeans on. The tight merlot dyed denim hugs you in all the right places, but in July your sweat does not help anything. Sparing you some bruised pride, he scoops you up and sets you onto the desk so he can help finish getting you ready.

“Doll, arms in the sleeves. I’ll button while you fluff your hair out of that ponytail and I grabbed your dry shampoo so use it. No greased pigs in the heli-carrier please.”

Bucky jokes with you while buttoning your sleeveless blouse.

A handful of minutes later, you are toeing on your ‘Jesus sandals,’ a knock off pair of Birkenstock’s that you love to wear for school. Bucky smiles from your desk chair and gives you a wolf whistle.

“Ya know what’s missing in this room?” He asks as he stands to hug you and walk to the front of the room by the doorway.

“What did I forget?!” You reply frantically, looking around for something else missing.

“Nothing love, I just think you need a sign that says Mrs. Barnes instead of Miss Y/L/N.” Bucky states casually as he pulls two items from his pockets.

You look into his hands and find a custom SHIELD office tag labeled “Mrs. Barnes” and a velvet box.

“Are you fucking serious, James Barnes? I just put on mascara!” You start to whimper and try to hold back the tears of joy.

“Soooo, is that a yes? You gonna be my wife? Make me the happiest man on the planet?” He asks impatiently.

“You bet your super soldier fine ass I am Bucky. But I’ll warn you, you’re gonna be coming to every school event from now on.” You wink at him before reaching up for a passionate kiss to seal the deal.

[sylvie-writes]

His Little Love

pairing: steve rogers x reader x sarah

word count: 1595

request: “I was hoping for Valentines day (I know it’s not even Christmas yet but I can’t get this idea out of my head, I had a dream about it the other night and I want you to write it) of Steve taking Sarah on a daddy daughter lunch date for Valentine’s Day, like he shows up at the house with flowers for her and rings the doorbell and takes her out for lunch and they are both dressed up(he’s trying to show her how a gentleman is supposed to treat a lady and to never settle for anything less) and they go have lunch then he drops her off with her grandparents and then picks up his wife and takes her away for the weekend for a romantic Valentine’s mini vacation and they talk about adding to the family while sitting next to the fireplace?” -anon 

author’s note: such a cute idea! thanks for sharing nonnie!

warnings: none

pardon any mistakes!!!

The simple ringing of the apartment doorbell sounded at the right time as you had just set down the hairbrush, now allowing for Sarah to be able to jump out of your lap and dash to the door. 

Today was Valentine’s Day and about this time last week, Steve had a brilliant idea to take Sarah out for a lunch date. Granted, it was midnight when said idea popped into his head, and he was so excited he forgot that you valued your sleep more than anything he had to say. Luckily, you had a soft spot for anything Steve did for Sarah and you allowed for him to get away with waking you up that time. Then a few days later, your husband hand wrote one of his infamous letters and hand delivered it to Sarah as she watched some cartoons on the couch that morning. While this all happened, you were in the kitchen, preparing breakfast for your daughter and heard her ever-adorable, squeal of excitement. 

Fast forward a few more days, and Valentine’s Day has arrived. Steve had gone out that morning, going to arrange things and what not, allowing you some time to dress Sarah. She had picked out one of her favorite dresses that was sparkly, as with everything else that resided in her closet. From there, you blow dried her hair and styled it which was a big deal as the little munchkin would never allow you to do so for any other event. That’s how she showed up to Nat and Bucky’s wedding with two lopsided pigtails. Out of tradition, you spritzed some of your perfume and Sarah giddily walked through the cloud. 

11:30 on the dot, Steve punctually arrived at your apartment door, and that’s when your toddler lurched from her seat in your lap and to the door to meet her date. On the way, she had forgotten a sock as you saw one foot bare. With a small giggle, you slightly jogged to meet the girl at the door where she was slipping on her shoes, and failing a bit. You slipped on her other sock and then helped fasten the buckles on her little mary-jane shoes. Sighing in relief, you stood up to answer the door where your husband waited with a bouquet in his hands, wearing a gray suit and tie that made him look even more dashing than usual. 

“You ready, my little valentine?” Steve bent down to slip on Sarah’s jacket and you could see a smile permanently etched onto her face. She then placed her hand in his and the two left but not without each kissing you goodbye. You stood in the doorway and wished the pair a good time. “I expect her to be home before ten, Rogers!” 

Steve looked back at you with a wink, “Of course, ma’am.” 

From the window, you could see the tall blonde opening the door for the smaller lookalike and his mouth moving a mile a minute, presumably saying something along the lines of, “Rule of thumb, if a guy doesn’t open the door for you, then he doesn’t deserve your time.” You knew that today he was going to be showing her how a real gentleman should act. Once they both got situated in the car, you chuckled to yourself and attended your own date with a pile of laundry.  

Around one o’clock, your family returned, happy, talkative, and smiley as usual. Sarah couldn’t stop talking and the minute she walked in the house, she ran to sit on the couch beside you. She seemed absolutely thrilled by the events of her lunch date with Steve, that she told you every single detail and it felt as if you were there with her, rather than currently sitting on the couch folding towels. 

At one point, about five minutes into your daughter’s story, you looked up for Steve who had seemingly disappeared. Scanning the room, you could spot his figure in your bedroom, on the phone with someone and whoever it was, they were making him smile just like the toddler before you. It piqued your curiosity to say the least, but instead of interrupting Sarah or Steve, you just stayed put and listened to the rest of the little darling’s story. A few minutes later, the recollection of the lunch date came to an end and Sarah had wandered off to get a fruit snack pouch, or was it a bottle of water? You had zoned out a bit, too preoccupied with a certain man’s whereabouts and just nodded your head as she asked if you wanted one. Suddenly, Steve put down his cell phone, and turned to catch your stare. A bit embarrassed, you looked back down at the daunting laundry basket that now held clothes. In a split second, the man had already crossed the room and taken the seat beside you on the couch. He kissed your temple before reaching down to help fold. For a few minutes, you both folded clothes in comfortable silence when Steve momentarily paused to remove his tie. You could see him struggling so you stopped your own folding to face him and untie the darn thing. He looked down on you with a smile and you returned the gesture along with a kiss to the corner of his lips. Slowly, you wrapped your arms around his neck and blissfully gazed at him. 

Steve looked at you with a smirk and you were confused until he spoke up. “You’re probably wondering who I was on the phone with, huh?”

With a small laugh, you nodded your head in defeat. 

“Well, it was your parents…” At this you cocked your head and raised an eyebrow, “I was asking them if they could watch Sarah this weekend.” He shrugged and you removed your arms, leaning back.

“Steven Grant Rogers, what are you up to?” He shook his head, signaling that it wasn’t anything that you should’ve been worried about. It was quite the opposite, in fact. “Nothing bad, love. I was gonna whisk you away this weekend if it’s okay.” 

The minute you agreed, Sarah coincidentally returned to the room with her backpack in hand. “I heard Mommy say yes!” Apparently she was in on it too and you let out a breathy laugh at their sneaky planning. Standing from the couch and leaving Steve to finish the laundry, you went to go and actually pack Sarah’s backpack. Although you appreciated her effort, stuffed animals wouldn't be enough for the weekend. 

That night, you and Steve arrived at a log cabin in the northern part of New York. On the drive over, it had started to snow, making the atmosphere even more enjoyable, especially with the outlook onto the icy lake. It was nice and quiet and you questioned how he was able to score such a place for Valentine's Day weekend. Needless to say, it had been a while since you and Steve had alone time such as this. Your husband had now changed into a flannel, and he looked a bit like a lumberjack which made you laugh as the burly man toted the bags inside. 

For dinner, Steve had ordered some Chinese takeout and drove into the nearby small town while you got ready for the night as it was nearing nine o’clock. In your duffle bag that was packed last minute, you had one of your lover’s long sleeves in there, the one that was your favorite to curl up in. Changing into that, you then waited for a few minutes on the couch when Steve returned, a bag of cardboard cartons in one hand while the other held your favorite bouquet of flowers. (Upon closer inspection, you noticed there were as many flowers as the years you two had been together.) The two of you then picked a movie and sat in each other’s embraces, cycling through eating, laughing about the movie, or chatting about anything and everything, including Sarah, of course. 

Empty takeout containers scattered across the coffee table, the movie’s end was nearing, the crackle of the fire had died down, and your head was now sleepily resting on Steve’s arm that had been wrapped around your shoulders. 

“Hey (y/n), you awake, darling?” You could feel Steve turn his head to take a peek at you. Sitting up, you shifted to face him, arm resting on the back of the couch and hand propping you up. “What’s up?”

“I have something important to ask you.” Steve looked a bit nervous and you reached out to soothingly grab his shoulder while giving him your full attention. 

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while, you know Sarah’s getting older, and we’ve talked about more kids. Now honey, if you don’t think now is the right time, that’s okay, but I figured I should bring it up and see what you were thinking.” By the end of his speech, Steve had taken your hands out of your own lap and now was placing soft kisses to your knuckles. All of this took you by surprise, but the good kind. For a while you’ve been thinking the same thing, but you never really thought to bring it up. Somehow you and Steve always seemed to be on the same page even if you didn’t know it. 

“I think that would be amazing, bubs.” 

There was the most endearing smile on his lips and he immediately pulled you in for a hug, whispering sweet nothings into your ear. 

taglist: @memissbee @tricereads @buckybarnesthehotshot @bval-1 @tonystankschild @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @turtoix @kelbabyblue @jakiki94 @aubreeskailynn @calirindo @lady-elena-adeline​ @siriuslyslyslytherin @sushiinmidnight​ @patzammit​ @iwik3it

[lambourngb]

For the first line meme: It's later than he thought when the knock on the door interrupts another night of staring at the computer screen.

the heart is a muscle - post season 2, mentions of forlex , getting back together malex fic for you dear @jule1122, and @haloud, and @christchex.

It's later than he thought when the knock on the door interrupted another night of staring at the computer screen.

Mr. Jones and his last words to Michael, before he was forced back into stasis, still haunted him. “You really think there was just one ship? We were in formation, kid. What you should ask yourself is, where did everyone else go? Did they just keep zippin’ on their way to the colony? Or did they stop and take a gander at this planet and what they did to the survivors?” 

The tiny bit of hope that this Max-lookalike psychopath didn’t represent the last of his species, had Michael diving back into his research behind the crash of 1947. The online conversations about Roswell had moved on to other topics since Michael had abandoned the message boards in the wake of Caulfield, but with some effort, he had found new threads detailing neighborhood folklore regarding newcomers with eerie talents, like the ability to grow food in droughts. Stories that peppered all over the world. Stories that might mean an alien colonist on Earth.

The thirst for knowledge about his planet and his people would never leave him, even if the actual urge to go had quieted down into just a soft whisper. Life was finally good in Roswell. After the mind games of Mr. Jones, Michael could admit now that he did have a family here, even if they weren’t related by blood. Sanders, Arturo, Mimi, Michelle Valenti had all stepped in at various times to offer a guiding hand to him, or just a quiet nod of reassurance that he was valued. Max and Isobel would always be his siblings, but now he could count Liz, Rosa, Kyle, and even awkwardly in their new friendship, Maria, as extended his family now.  

It didn’t escape Michael that not even in his thoughts could he attribute his feelings for Alex as brotherly. There was still a vacant place at the head of Michael’s overflowing table of family for a partner, a spouse. That somehow, the seat even as other people came and went, only seemed to fit Alex. 

Except they were still just friends.

Another knock, more impatient this time, rattled the Airstream’s door. Michael sat up, placing his ancient laptop on the counter and rolled off his bed to get to his feet. His life was had changed so much in the last couple of years that he had enough people in it, friends, who dropped by his trailer at all hours of the day, not just Isobel, that he couldn’t even guess the identity of the visitor. 

Backlit from the auto yard’s security lights, stood Alex Manes holding a cardboard drink holder from ‘Bean Me Up’.

“Alex,” Michael greeted, a smile already at his lips. He glanced at the coffee and back to Alex, “Couldn’t wait until tomorrow I take it?” This was part of the new normal for Michael, meeting Alex for coffee, three or four mornings a week. It was something that had grown out of a happy coincidence, Alex’s gym was near the Boys and Girls Club that Michael volunteered at, serving breakfast in the mornings and tutoring kids in math in the afternoon.

Same place at the same time, once, then twice, became a standard thing. Not a date. Just, taking advantage of the mutual collision to talk. And at first, it was awkward to share news with each other, like Alex’s dating experiences with Forrest or Michael’s attempts to recover his memories of his planet, but later things had softened into a routine. Order coffee, find a small table, and then spend the next hour playfully fending off Alex’s attempts to foist food on Michael’s side of the table while also stealing sips of his caramel lattes. 

Perhaps one day Alex would realize that Michael had only ordered the ridiculously sweet coffee drinks because he knew that was what Alex preferred to drink. It was still a damn toxic hold over from Jesse Manes that Alex still persisted in ordering black coffee with no sugar. Dating Forrest might have helped Alex be open with his sexuality, there were still lessons for Alex to learn in being gentle with himself, Michael observed. The act of indulging in pleasures, instead of engaging in deprivation, it was something he struggled with as well.

In the meantime, Michael could at least help Alex in this small way, letting him ‘steal’ his lattes.

“Alex?” Something about Michael had robbed Alex of all speech as he just stared up at Michael in response, still holding the drinks dumbly in his hands. “Are you okay? What’s wrong-”

The switch from teasing to urgent concern finally snapped Alex out of his apparent stupor. “Right, nothing, um, just- since when do you wear glasses?”

Michael’s hand went to his face automatically, realizing belatedly that he was still wearing his reading glasses. He started to pull them off, blushing in embarrassment, when Alex blurted out, “They look good! On you. The glasses. Um great even.” 

“Oh.” Now that. Michael did not know what to do with that. 

In the yellow-wash of light, Alex was clearly the same man from yesterday’s coffee visit physically. His soft mouth was there, but it came with his standard closed expression that he must have picked up abroad, wearing it now as Michael’s least favorite souvenir. His posture was the same too, forever changed from losing his leg, straight-backed and rigid but just then, he was someone Michael hadn’t seen in a long time. That awkward stuttering response was Alex Manes, the seventeen-year-old boy who had whipped off his visor nervously in the museum, the same boy who touched with soft gliding palms newly revealed skin before snatching his hands away at the first sign that it was unwelcome. 

Aware that it was his turn to stare at Alex, Michael forced himself to smile naturally, “I guess not even my alien physiology can beat back the glare of a computer screen. I forgot I had them on.”

“Did I interrupt something? I can go if you want,” Alex stopped, probably hearing the past echo between them but not in the benign way of before. “Or I can stay and help, even if it’s with surprise coffee?” This time he lifted the tray up between them, an offer or a barricade of politeness, Michael wasn’t sure.

“I’m looking for other survivors,” Michael admitted, before looking down to avoid Alex’s sharpened gaze of interest. “On the internet, obviously, since I don’t think I can trust that I could sense them with my mind.”

It was clear that Alex hadn’t forgotten any of the various tactics Jones had employed against them, but Michael in particular. A frequent repeated taunt was about how damaged their psychic abilities were for adults, to the point no one had sensed Caulfield, but that from his pod prison Jones could hear Nora calling for help nightly right until the end. The twisted knife of how Michael had grown up waiting for someone to save him. Alex pursed his lips to object, “Michael-”

“Jones was full of shit about a lot,” Michael assured him quickly, “but I think he was right about the ships, that it wasn’t just one that crashed. I’m just combing through stories, basically internet mythology, looking for clues about strangers who might have some sort of power. It’s a lot of ‘world’s biggest cucumber’ stories right now, but hey, come in, you’re the computer genius and I could use your help and your coffee.” He placed his hands on the coffee holder, carrying it for Alex and backed away from the steps to let Alex have as much room as possible to navigate the cumbersome metal steps into the Airstream.

The seating area of the Airstream had been folded away and stored in order to make room for the drying rack of his clothes from laundry day, leaving only his narrow bed for seating. Michael had half-a-minute’s pause in reconsideration. They could relocate outside to his fire pit with the cheap camp chairs, and sit pressed together elbow-to-elbow around the dim screen of the laptop between them. Or. Or they could squeeze together on his bed, a place where that sort of contact between them had always led to sex. What was the safer option for their friendship? 

His heart always strayed too far from the safety of his bones when it came to Alex. 

Ignoring his pounding pulse, he grabbed the coffee cup marked “Alex” and pulled it to his lips to drink and made a gesture to the bed. At least he had made the bed up earlier with clean linens, the spread was neatly tucked into the corners, almost military sharp. That made it feel slightly less risqué to him than inviting Alex into warm mussed sheets that reeked of Michael’s skin. That rain and bourbon scent that Alex had pointed out.

“Um, your coffee was the other one.” Alex picked up the abandoned cup marked with a ‘M’ and followed him over to the bed. 

“No, I’m drinking the coffee I always end up with. Your black tar juice.” 

Alex smiled slightly, caught out by the observation before gingerly sitting next to Michael as Michael scooted over toward the wall of the Airstream. “Yeah, I guess I do end up stealing yours.” He brought his left leg up easily on the mattress and then passed his coffee cup over to Michael’s waiting hands as he brought his prosthetic up with both hands for balance. The smile faded, as Alex reclaimed the ‘M’ cup to sip from deep in thought as he seemed to review the history of their morning encounters. “I’m sorry-”

“Alex, come on,” he teased leaning his shoulder against Alex’s. “You haven’t caught on by now? I only order that sugar monstrosity because I know you won’t let yourself do it. I don’t even like caramel that much.”

“What? Come on, that’s what you ordered that first time-”

“I ordered that for the director at the community center.” Michael placed his coffee on the window of the Airstream and concentrated on bringing the laptop back up to rest on his knees between them not daring to look at Alex. He would never be able to confess the next bit and see Alex’s too-expressive gaze at the same time. But. As he had reminded himself earlier, he needed to work on indulging in pleasures as well, not just holding on to the pylon weight of depriving himself, of never believing he was worthy of good things. And being Alex’s friend was that. A pleasure. A good thing. The best thing.

“Once I saw you though, I kinda forgot the errand I was on in the first place. Then, I might have gone back at the same time the next day. And the day after that. For reasons.” He glanced to the side, meeting Alex’s wide eyes briefly before turning back to the laptop. “So I guess it's my turn to apologize? I might have had an agenda.”

It was quiet between them, as Michael clicked through a few different forums. He wasn’t paying any attention to where his cursor landed, he just kept scrolling through window after window as a distraction because the urge to pull back, to crack a joke, to do anything but let Alex process in silence was hard to suppress but needed. That was a part of becoming friends, learning that Alex needed extra time to formulate a response, something that came from needing to shut all emotional responses off during a drone operation at work.

“Me too,” Alex replied softly. “About the agenda. I mean, I don’t even have a membership at that gym.”

Michael frowned, the words not making any sense to him.

“That first time was dumb luck, I mean, I stopped in that morning because I had stayed the night at Forrest’s for the first time and I found out he doesn’t drink coffee. Doesn’t even own a coffee maker.” Alex scoffed quietly, before leaning against Michael affectionately, “I should have known that it was doomed from the start, just on coffee alone but what really put the nail in the coffin was the fact I pretended to go to that gym for two months because I had a bag of clothes with me when you saw me.”

“That was your clothes from staying over with him,” Michael said slowly, almost to himself, before he frowned even deeper as the connections fell into place. He didn’t know whether he wanted to laugh or not, but this was a new level of avoidance of an awkward subject for Alex.  It did make sense considering the timing, and maybe that was why he was confessing now to Michael because not that Michael allowed himself to show it, the early days of Alex’s relationship with the historian were difficult for him. He didn’t begrudge Alex being happy or being with someone else, but there was still an old, gnarled bit of Michael’s heart that pinched painfully at seeing the romance play out for everyone in Roswell to see. “Alex, I know you guys are dating, you didn’t have to lie about that and pretend you had gone to that gym.” 

“Were dating,” Alex patiently corrected. “Pay attention, Michael. I just said it was doomed from the start.”

“Because he didn’t drink coffee?”

“Because I was engaging in a deep cover operation that involved a fake gym membership, rescheduling my appointments to the afternoon and blocking out time in my mornings all, so I could see you.” The gears were still turning too slowly for Alex’s liking as he rolled his eyes at Michael and continued, “I ended it with Forrest about a month ago. Or well, he ended it with me because I was always too busy in the morning for breakfast and I never wanted to stay over at his.”

Michael blinked, then looked down at his laptop. The ancient fan and processor were making a soft whine of effort, much like his own brain at the moment. Alex was single. Alex has been single for over a month. A month where he didn’t mention it once during their get-togethers. 

Alex exhaled slowly, draining the latte before placing the cup out of range. “I’m really trying to use my words here, but you have exactly one minute to understand what I’m saying before I have to get creative-”

“Are you saying that you-”

“Yes-”

“Still want me?”

“I never stopped,” Alex reached for Michael’s hand, stilling the rapid clicking. “I came here because I wanted to be honest with you. It occurred to me that somewhere along the line, those meetups for coffee had basically become the most important part of my day. I … I was turning them into dates in my head. With you.” He licked his lips, his eyes drifting down to Michael’s mouth, causing Michael to bite his own lip in response. The anticipation between them thickened, until Alex groaned softly, his head briefly ducking toward Michael’s. “In the past, I’ve been guilty of thinking we were on the same page, and we weren’t, so I’m- Michael, I will still be your friend no matter what, but I want-”

This time, Michael didn’t let him finish and closed the scant distance between them on the bed to kiss Alex. The laptop fell to the side of their legs as Alex surged into it, pushing Michael down flat on the mattress in his eagerness. Michael opened for Alex, letting him have whatever he wanted and buried his fingers in the soft, black hair as they traded kisses.

Suddenly, a bubble of laughter burst from Michael’s chest, the lightness of the situation that felt almost too good to be real spread through his veins. “Oh my god, you brought me coffee to tell me that getting coffee together wasn’t just getting coffee for you, Alex-”

“Shut up!”

“You need a new job, nothing in intel, sweetheart-”

“I am, I did, that is.” Alex lifted his eyebrow at Michael’s too-still pause before he sweetly brushed the long stubborn curl out of Michael’s face, “Done with the Air Force as of next month.”

“Fuck me.”

“I can do that too.”

[fa1rytunes]

pairing: xiao/chongyun rating: mature word count: 3k tw: implied rape attempt tags: atypical angel/demon au, suggestive themes, dirty talk, finger sucking, mutual pining, soulmates

> NO ONE UNDER 16, SUGGESTIVE CONTENT <

ao3 link: here other notes: written for xiaoyun weekend day 1, angel/demon au

When faced with the fact that they have all eternity to be together, angels Xiao and Chongyun choose a path much different from that of their demons.

It was a rite of passage. Usually, they’d have done it alone, but Xiao and Chongyun were like two peas in a pod. One moved, the other followed like his shadow. They completed each other so perfectly, so uncannily perfectly that they had to do it together.

Meeting their assigned demons for the first time, that is.

Both of them sort of hoped that, after meeting their demons, they’d be able to safely return to the tranquil life they’d been living as companions.

They didn’t know why they had been matched together, but it was not exactly uncommon for angels to work in pairs. However, at first glance, Xiao and Chongyun made an odd duo.

Xiao had become an angel after living a very troubled mortal life. He had his fair share of blood on his hands. And… It wasn’t all good blood to have on one’s hands. While he had spent most of his mortal life working as an emergency surgeon in an ER, he had also lived a double life, helping criminals. He wasn’t sure he really deserved to be made an angel, but the role seemed perfectly suitable for him, because of his tendency to save and protect anyone who asked.

As for Chongyun, he wished he could remember his mortal life. Instead, all he had to cling onto was the immediate pull he felt towards Xiao after he opened his eyes next to him in the afterlife. Like quite a few angels, his memory had been wiped clean. This was a new beginning for him. No one really knew why some angels remembered their mortal lives and some didn’t, but all figured it was part of someone’s plan. Nevertheless, what remained of Chongyun’s mortal life was his personality: meek, but always cheerful, trying to keep a positive outlook on everything—quite the opposite of Xiao, who had a temper that pushed away pretty much everyone else. Only around Chongyun did his temper mellow out, but nobody quite understood why.

The both of them spent some time in the angels’ realm, getting acquainted with their new state of existence and learning how to use their wings. They knew that this time wouldn’t last.

The notion of time had little meaning to angels, but all angels were fated to meet their demons, and to engage against them into the eternal struggle to keep them from wreaking havoc on the mortal realm. But just like no one had had to explain angels how to fly, or how to cross the boundary between the angels’ realm and Teyvat, nobody had to tell Xiao and Chongyun that the time to meet their demons had come. It was a question of instinct, really. Nobody had to tell them where to go, either.

And thus, they found themselves in familiar territory—for Xiao, at least. The high cliffs surrounding the pool in the middle of Wuwang Hill were a sight he remembered very well from his mortal life. Fireflies floated around the calm waters of the pond, and the sound of frogs and crickets singing into the night filled the atmosphere. Many times he found himself in this area for stargazing. Part of him feared that the fond memories attached to this place would be tainted by what they came there to do, though.

Chongyun gave his hand a firm squeeze.

“It’ll be alright,” he said quietly.

Xiao gave a silent nod in response. He didn’t have the heart to explain Chongyun how he felt, but maybe he didn’t need to. It seemed like Chongyun could read him like an open book, and that was often a relief, for Xiao was not particularly skilled at putting his feelings into words.

They walked alongside one another, their steps in sync on the rocks in the pond, and then on the dirt path that meandered through the hills and the forest. A warm, humid breeze swirled around them. Chongyun’s hand felt cool and soft under Xiao’s fingers. It always did.

They exchanged a quick glance as a wave of shivers ran down their necks. They’re here.

A honeyed laughter echoed from their right, just beyond a large rock on the side of the path. When they came into view, Xiao and Chongyun frowned in unison.

It was easy to guess that those two really were Xiao and Chongyun’s demons. Their resemblance was uncanny. The other Chongyun looked like a splitting image of the one standing next to Xiao, only, he was dressed in navy blue instead of white, with lighter blue details. The other demon was bare-chested, and dressed in red instead of jade green and purple.

What was most troubling, though, was how they acted.

They were laying down in the grass, the demon who looked like Chongyun on top of the one who looked like Xiao, and it took both angels a moment to realize where the demons’ hands were going. They were going in… not very appropriate places. One was firmly groping the other’s ass, and the other’s hand was dangerously close to the first one’s crotch. And they were… aggressively making out. The demonic Xiao lookalike interrupted his kissing session to look up.

“Oh, look, there they are, finally,” he said.

The Chongyun lookalike turned around to stare at the two angels.

“Hm… They look so stiff. Are they made out of cardboard or something?” He nonchalantly trailed his hand on the other demon’s chest.

“Darling, you know all angels are made out of cardboard. They can’t take a joke, can’t have fun, can’t have sex. That’s how dull they are,” he sneered.

Xiao turned around, letting go of Chongyun’s hand, but Chongyun caught his arm.

“I’ve seen enough,” he hissed through his teeth.

He spread his wings, ready to fly back to their home, but Chongyun held firm.

“Are you sure that’s all we need to see?” the blue-haired angel asked.

“Whatever more they have to show us, I don’t want to see,” he replied.

“Oh, a little flustered by our display of affection, are we?” Chongyun’s alter ego asked, smirking.

“Oh, don’t tell me… Those two haven’t fucked yet?! Wow, I’m impressed. Maybe angels really are that prude,” the other demon replied, chuckling.

Xiao itched to shut them up, but he knew that the demons were deliberately provoking them. Getting them to react was, without a doubt, the demons’ goal from the get go. That was the reason Xiao wanted to fly away. That, and the fact that seeing both demons so obviously touching each other, making it very visible that their relationship went way beyond Chongyun and Xiao’s companionship, roused a strange confusion deep within his heart, and he was not sure he wanted to face those feelings.

“Oh—could it be…?! Could it be that they haven’t even told each other they like each other? Oh, dear Abyss, I don’t believe it!” Xiao’s lookalike added.

Chongyun scowled. For the first time since Xiao and him had met, the contact of his hand on Xiao’s arm felt warm, not cool. Concerned by the sudden change in his companion’s energy, Xiao turned back to Chongyun.

“Let’s just ignore them and get away from here, they’re doing this on purpose, they just want to provoke us,” he whispered next to Chongyun’s ear.

Chongyun gulped. His face was painted red all over and, if he had been a mortal, his heart would’ve been racing in his chest at that moment. Xiao felt a squeeze from Chongyun’s hand on his arm and guessed how flustered the blue-haired angel was.

Chongyun wouldn’t have had any qualms about leaving right away if the demons had been wrong about everything they’d said so far. But they weren’t.

The two demons burst into a fit of laughter at the same time.

“Oh, in the name of the Abyss Prince, just look at them! They’re so stupid, they haven’t even realized why they feel pulled towards one another,” the demon who looked like Chongyun exclaimed.

He wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes.

“Damn, guys, you’re really passing on an occasion. Did you know that Xiao has a huuuuge cock?” he added. “I mean, look at that bulge!”

Just as he spoke, he stroked the other demon’s crotch through his clothes, and the other hummed in satisfaction, canting his hips under the touch.

“And it just so happens that my darling right here has a mouth perfect for dick sucking, among other things,” the demon looking like Xiao added, grabbing the other demon’s chin and pulling his mouth open.

Without any care in the world, he shoved two fingers inside the blue-haired demon’s mouth, to which the demon replied by greedily licking and sucking on them.

Chongyun was standing there, speechless, and Xiao spoke into his ear again.

“Let’s go, I’ve seen enough,” he growled.

Chongyun snapped back to his senses.

“I… Yes, okay, let’s head back,” he said.

They both turned their backs to the demons and spread out their wings, ready to take flight.

“Oh no, look, honey, it seems like our little angelic guests already want to flee! We can’t let them get away with this, now, can we?” Xiao’s alter ego cooed. “The fun is only starting…”

“Got it,” the other demon replied.

The next moment, Xiao and Chongyun had to jump back to avoid getting slashed by the greatsword the demon waved in front of him. The air temperature dropped sharply, and the angels’ exhale produced mist in front of their mouths.

“Out of our way, hellspawn,” Xiao snarled, calling forth his jade polearm.

“Funny you should say that,” the Xiao double said from right behind the angel. “With the kind of blood you have on your hands, don’t you think that I should be the angel, and you the demon?” He let out a sinister cackle.

Chongyun moved behind Xiao, facing his companion’s red-clad lookalike.

“Careful, demons, you know our strength is equal. There’s no use in fighting,” the blue-haired angel declared.

“Yes, we may be matched in strength, but as for cunningness, we certainly are not,” the demon replied. “Be careful, you two, we just might be able to trick you.”

He smirked, and winked. Chongyun’s claymore materialized in his hands and he lowered his stance, waiting for the demon to attack. On the other side, Xiao and Chongyun’s demon glared at each other with eyes that could kill, silently observing each other, waiting for an opening to strike. As soon as the blue-haired demon moved to swing his blade, Xiao got ready to parry. They engaged in a fierce battle behind Chongyun, delivering hit for hit, without any sign that one of them was going to win over the other.

The noise of the struggle distracted Chongyun for a moment, and thus, he barely had the time to jump to the side to avoid his opponent’s spear. The demon used this opportunity to sneak much closer to Chongyun, grabbing him by the collar and knocking him off his feet. He then jumped on top of the blue-haired angel, holding him down with his spear across the throat.

“Hey, Chongyun, I should take you for myself, make you my little fucktoy, don’t you think? Since Xiao is too stupid and too much of a coward to take you…” the demon said, licking his lips.

“You’re dreaming, malignant spirit,” Chongyun uttered through clenched teeth.

He kicked his knee up into the demon’s stomach, knocking him off from him. While Xiao’s double was getting back up, Chongyun sprinted to Xiao, who was barely dodging the attacks from his opponent. Without a word, the blue-haired angel spread his wings and kicked the ground, and flew just above Xiao, grabbing his outstretched arm in the process and lifting him up in the air. Once they were out of sight of Wuwang Hill, Chongyun dropped Xiao down, and Xiao stretched his wings to fly alongside Chongyun.

Their trip back to the angel’s realm happened in a stunned silence, both of them too unsettled and confused by how the encounter went to dare speak up yet.

Once they finally settled down under a tree, sitting side-by-side, gazing far away into the horizon, only then did Xiao speak up.

“I’ve never heard of demons being this aggressive before,” he let out. “We’re not supposed to fight, it’s pointless.”

“I trust you on that one… you’ve hung around other angels for a long time before we met,” Chongyun replied, and his hand found Xiao’s.

“I have… I was waiting for you,” Xiao quietly said.

As he intertwined their fingers, Chongyun thought about their alter egos’ words. The sight of them making out on the grass had felt surreal. Deep down, the blue-haired angel knew that Xiao and himself were soulmates. There was no denying the pull they felt towards one another. It was magnetic. Most angels met their soulmate in the afterlife, that much was to be expected. But a soulmate could take on the role of a friend, of a sibling, of a parent, and, of course, of a lover.

And although they had spent all this time together, none of them had dared to make the first step towards making their relationship more than platonic.

Now that their demons had made it very obvious that this was a possible outcome for their relationship, the idea seemed almost repulsive to him. Wouldn’t it be the equivalent of giving their alter egos victory over them, to make their relationship more than friendship? Chongyun shuddered at the thought.

And yet, when he looked at Xiao, when he felt the warmth of his fingers between his own, when his eyes dived into the smouldering amber of Xiao’s eyes, Chongyun had to admit to himself that he had thought about kissing him.

He’d thought about it, and then abandoned the idea, because what if Xiao doesn’t want their relationship to be that way? What if they were only meant to be friends?

Chongyun wished that the mysterious entity who was in charge of all of this—angels, demons, soulmates, the structure of the universe, everything—had provided them with more than instinct to deal with all of this.

As naturally as the leaves fall down with the coming of colder months in the autumn, Chongyun’s head fell onto Xiao’s shoulder, his eyes still lost on the horizon. In front of them rolled the grassy, soft hills of this corner of the angel’s realm. Trees grew behind them, forming a dense forest, and the singing of birds and the soft rustling of the wind through the tree’s leaves filled the air. There was nothing but peace, nothing but softness to be found in this realm, and yet, Chongyun’s mind was filled with confusing thoughts brought about by their arch nemeses. They had introduced chaos in their blissful retreat, and for that, the blue-haired angel could not repress a hint of anger.

Xiao wished he could ignore it, too. He knew, deep down, that what he felt for Chongyun was more than friendship, more than a family bond. But he was in no hurry to explore that, since they had all of eternity to fall in love. He wanted to discover Chongyun piece by piece, to learn every corner of his soul, patiently. But their encounter with the demons had casted a seed of doubt in his mind. Xiao had never been one to be forthcoming with his feelings, but perhaps taking his time was a waste, since he knew what the outcome would be, in any case.

He looked down at Chongyun, at the crown of icy blue hair, soft against his bare shoulder, and sighed. Why did it have to matter that their demons teased them about taking their time? Why did it have to matter that they handled their relationship how they saw fit? Just because their demons were very obviously much more than friends didn’t mean that Xiao and Chongyun had to be more than friends right away.

Plus, just because the Sustainer had intended for their demons to be romantic soulmates didn’t mean they had the same plan for Xiao and Chongyun.

But… There was little doubt in Xiao’s mind that this was what the Sustainer had intended. The flutters in his stomach when his gaze crossed the crystalline purity of Chongyun’s eyes, or when the other angel leaned against him like this, or when their fingers intertwined like it was the most natural thing in the world, none of it could lie.

And so, when Chongyun sat up to ask Xiao if he was okay, sensing the trouble within his heart, it was a bittersweet smile that painted itself on Xiao’s lips.

“I’m fine… it’s just…”

“They… they were right.”

“Yes. But… it doesn’t mean that we have to be like them,” Xiao said.

“No, it doesn’t,” Chongyun said, and he smiled.

He took in a sharp inhale before continuing.

“But… I still want to kiss you. And I know that it’s giving them—”

Chongyun could not finish his sentence, not as Xiao leaned forward and closed the space between them in a soft, warm kiss.

“It doesn’t matter what it’s giving them. This is us, it’s none of their business,” he huffed, softly cupping Chongyun’s cheek.

Chongyun’s face had heated up a few degrees, his cheek now feeling warmer than usual under Xiao’s fingers.

“Y-yes but… a-are you…” Chongyun mumbled, trying to get a hold on himself.

“Sure about this? Yes.”

The blush on Chongyun’s face was renewed, and Xiao let out a light chuckle. They were definitely quite different from their demons. Time had little meaning to angels, yes. But it was because they had so much of it that they could afford to take things slow, to savour every bit of the pleasure of falling in love gradually, to learn each other’s mind patiently like a map, one street, one avenue at a time.

“Okay,” Chongyun murmured, and he laid his overheated cheek back against Xiao’s shoulder as he leaned against him once again.

There was not much to add, for everything left unsaid would eventually be said, when the time would be right.

If you liked this, please leave a Kudos on ao3! And you can also comment there, I read and reply to every comment. :)

[ask-shslpianist]

.... I suppose That You Could Try getting your hands on some metal Chewing Acid? Maybe you could lure them as Bait, or a fake Keebs or Chiaki (maybe a cardboard cut out or lookalike) and spill it on pixel.

"There's no time... I can't find all that and put it together on such short notice..."

[after-witch]

I had a dream that I was being chased by a vague Joe (”You”) lookalike for days and days, because he saw me talking my way into getting a free day spa treatment (... I was watching Frasier before bed) and decided we were perfect for each other. 

And I pretty much couldn’t stop moving because he would catch up to me. Running, hopping into cars, riding a bike, etc. The chase ended on a hill that randomly turned into a bunch of giant cardboard boxes. I couldn’t climb them so I hid inside one, got found, then I woke up when his face peered into the box I was in.

all in all, 8/10, would dream about being chased again.

[davidtennantxmichaelsheen]

The Tenth Doctor’s son

(tenth doctor x reader,you try to convince the 10th doctor to let you keep a pet adipose,warning lots of cute fluff)

The 10th doctor took you to a market day,you saw a adipose looking sad locked in a cage.

y/n: poor thing,how can you treat an adipose like that!!!.

man: you can have him,i’ve had him ages no one wants an adipose anymore,there not in fashion.Pting are the most popular pet now.

10th: No,absolutely not,your not keeping an adipose in my tardis.

y/n: Doctor have a heart...well hearts,he’s just a poor baby adipose,no one else wants him.pretty please Doctor.

10th: fine but your looking after it.

the man handed you the adipose,you held it in your arms the adipose smiled and waved at the doctor.

y/n: aww he likes you. Where going to your new home it’s called the tardis.This is the doctor,he’s your new daddy.

10th: y/n it’s your pet,i am not his daddy!!!.

you carried the adipose to your bedroom you made him a bed from a cardboard box and put a blanket inside and laid the adipose in it for a nap.

y/n: your daddy is gonna love you just as much as i do,he’s just in a grumpy mood right now.He’s a kind and sweet timelord once you get to know him.

as you left the room the adipose started to cry you picked him up in his blanket and rocked him in your arms carrying him to the tardis kitchen.The Doctor was sat at the kitchen table drinking tea reading a book called good omens.

10th: what is all that noise about?

y/n: i think he’s thirsty i’ll give him some milk.

you gave the doctor the adipose to hold while you went to the fridge to find him some milk.

y/n: where out of milk i’ll go to the shop and get some,i won’t be long.

10th: wait a minute you can’t just leave me with him.

the doctor cradled the adipose in his arms,he started to find the adipose cute.The adipose stopped crying and fell asleep.The doctor smiled at the sleeping adipose,you walked through the tardis doors after 20 minutes holding a bag of shopping.

y/n: just look at you two,i knew you’d grow to love him eventually,hand him to me and i’ll put him to bed now.

before placing the adipose in it’s bed you dressed him in an outfit you’d bought for him.The next morning the doctor went to check on the adipose and was shocked to find him dressed in the same outfit as him.

y/n: do you like his new outfit? now he looks just like his daddy.

10th: your kinda weird sometimes you know that?,but your my favourite companion and i wouldn’t have you any other way.

the tenth doctor hugged you while holding his mini lookalike.

The end

[n8thegr8-stickanime]

Cerise and Ronron

Hidden in a cardboard box resigned to a shadowed alleyway, Cerise watched the legs of people swing by on the brighter sidewalk before her. She wanted to join them, but she knew that adventure would quickly turn sour.

“I like this weird bowl thing too much to move anyway,” Cerise whispers as she pats the box.

Then from behind her, Cerise saw a little collared cat amble over to her box and climb in, possibly not believing Cerise to be alive. The doll responded to this with a contemplative stare. The thought of destruction crossed her mind… but Cerise banished it.

“Not too much to share,” she says.

The cat just gazed into the sunrise with tired eyes. Cerise lifted one of her mittens to pet it, not before hesitating. When she placed her hand on the animal’s sleek fur, it felt like air. That was when Cerise remembered that she can barely feel beyond what the doll’s static charge allows her to, which was very little.

“Do you… like this?” she asks the cat, which weakly purrs in response.

Cerise was unsure what that meant, but the fact that this lookalike creature wasn’t trying to shoot her already was encouraging enough.

“I’m Cerise,” she says. “What’s your name?”

The cat’s given name was of course on its collar, which Cerise would’ve known if she could read. The cat just purred again.

“Huh,” she replies before replicating the cat’s sound. “That sounds way different from the other fleshies! Not that there’s anything wrong with that though, I think it’s uh… genial! Did the big ones call you that?”

The cat did not respond this time. It still watched the sun.

“Well, that’s how I got my name. I did some ‘research’ a while ago, and I think it comes from something really common here, like firecrackers.” Then, the doll’s excited expression started to dim.

“But you know, not as inspired as yours. Really, even though we just met, I wish I was more like you in a lot of ways. You’re so easy to talk to, while I hate being around just myself. I know there’s a lot you can teach me, Ronron. What can I do to be just like you?”

The plush ceased her rambling as instinct seemed to take over, and placed her gem to the forehead of the quiet cat. “Ronron” saw the ruby orb illuminated by the sunlight enter its view and found that final image satisfying enough to finally close its eyes.

“Ronron?” Cerise now notices the sad truth regarding her new friend. “Are you still there?”

The cat’s voice sings back, “To be yourself is all that you can do.”

[kmp78]

so, photos of him out in the streets in the middle of the protests - let me guess what you will claim ... he's fake, he didnt mean it, he doesnt care really, he was paid to do it, he was forced to do it, its a cardboard cutout, he paid a lookalike, he hired actors, etc etc ... which one will you choose?

Well he def seems SUUUUPAH dedicated to the cause since he went out there among 25 000 people in the middle of a pandemic wearing a mask that ain't gonna do FUCK ALL to protect him if an infected person sneezes near him...

Oh but he TOTES is a germaphobe! 🤭