#cara reads eldrie the healer

[agardenandlibrary]

me: I will write a short review on this book and throw it on the website and be done with it

me, 1000 words later: ... apparently I will talk about this book on the podcast

[agardenandlibrary]

New episode of my podcast Backlog Books out now (link in pinned post)

Eldrie the Healer by Claudia J. Edwards

So I didn’t like this. This is what I get for picking up random books at the half-price bookstore. You’d think I would’ve learned my lesson from years of doing this and having disappointing experiences, but here we are.

The whole time Eldrie is like “Hey, I’m just a normal person and I’d like to be treated like one, please stop treating me like I’m royalty and above reproach, because I’m not.” And the whole time Huard is like “Don’t be ridiculous, princess, I will introduce you to everyone as royalty and constantly talk about your responsibility to go home and rule your father’s kingdom, even though you are a bastard and he has legitimate heirs still living.” She must want to be royalty and have royal responsibilities, despite what she says every day.

Huard is the worst and I do hate him and he is in the entire book and he never improves even a little.

This is not even getting into Eldrie giving Huard the contraceptive for his partner (which he doesn't give to his partner of course, or even tell her about)!

*kicks them both out to the curb*

Similar but better:

The Hero and the Crown by Robin McKinley

Song of the Lioness quartet by Tamora Pierce

Oathbound by Mercedes Lackey

[agardenandlibrary]

bro what the fuck

Eldrie just gave the contraceptive effective for women to the man and said "hey, if your new girlfriend doesn't want to get pregnant, give her this"

Eldrie, you have a decent enough relationship with the girl to give her the contraceptive. You yourself make your own contraceptive decisions. Why the fuck would you fob it off on the girl's new partner. Her first partner. This girl doesn't know anything why are you putting the decision into the man's hands whyyy

[agardenandlibrary]

"I always obey you, Eldrie—at least, I obey the real commands you give me."

"Then don't ever mention going home again. Don't call me a princess. And don't natter on about royal gifts and royal burdens."

He chuckled. "Those aren't real commands."

"Somehow, I thought not. Oh, well. How about this one? Let's get up and get some breakfast."

"Now that's an order I can follow with enthusiasm. I hear and obey, O Princess."

Mama mia. Here we go again. The exact same bullshit as FBA. A couple of points in this book's favor:

It was published in 1989.

Eldrie is never convinced that she can hold her own physically against this guy and the book also never tries to convince me.

I'm holding out hope that Eldrie will dump his ass and carry on without him because he is weirdly intense about insisting that she go home and be a princess. (She is the king's bastard daughter and acknowledged as such. The king chose not to give her any particular title or status so without anything to do there she left 16 years ago.)

Like, he keeps calling her a princess and bought her a ton of fancy clothes, and just recently presented her as a princess to a bunch of people.

You know what royalty really loves? When someone goes around claiming to be royalty. They really dig that.

[agardenandlibrary]

I finished Eldrie the Healer. It sucked! Okay that's it bye!

[agardenandlibrary]

oh thank god there are no sequels

[agardenandlibrary]

ah, 80s fantasy.

[agardenandlibrary]

"And she can outride and outwalk anyone I ever knew. She was born to be a caravan master."

I glanced dubiously at her comfortably round form. She saw the look.

Eldrie, honestly, fuck you.

[agardenandlibrary]

Ughhgh eldrie doesn't want to be royalty but she has "the king's magic" and can, like, command people with it.

Idk if it wasn't vaguely in the vein of "divine/magical right of kings" it might be more interesting but alas.

[agardenandlibrary]

"oughhh eldrie you gotta go home and take up the mantle of royalty, divine right of kings, blah blah"

Leave him to drown in stagnant water, babe. Throw out the whole man.

[agardenandlibrary]

The king has a couple of legitimate children already!! Eldrie's mom was dumped and no longer in favor at the court!! She has no reason to expect a warm welcome or any kind of status back home! She wants to learn healing magic!

"I always obey you, Eldrie—at least, I obey the real commands you give me."

"Then don't ever mention going home again. Don't call me a princess. And don't natter on about royal gifts and royal burdens."

He chuckled. "Those aren't real commands."

"Somehow, I thought not. Oh, well. How about this one? Let's get up and get some breakfast."

"Now that's an order I can follow with enthusiasm. I hear and obey, O Princess."

Mama mia. Here we go again. The exact same bullshit as FBA. A couple of points in this book's favor:

It was published in 1989.

Eldrie is never convinced that she can hold her own physically against this guy and the book also never tries to convince me.

I'm holding out hope that Eldrie will dump his ass and carry on without him because he is weirdly intense about insisting that she go home and be a princess. (She is the king's bastard daughter and acknowledged as such. The king chose not to give her any particular title or status so without anything to do there she left 16 years ago.)

Like, he keeps calling her a princess and bought her a ton of fancy clothes, and just recently presented her as a princess to a bunch of people.

You know what royalty really loves? When someone goes around claiming to be royalty. They really dig that.