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jaegeraether · 4 months

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Sunsets and footballers (Part 79)

Alexia Putellas x Character (35) - Ridley Part One

Masterlist (other parts here)

((**4.5k**))

This is PART ONE of TWO for Ridley. You DO NOT have to read this! This is simply me getting out what's been in my head for a while about Ridley and her darker side and military ties. Although this one isn't bad at all, part two will be a lot more graphic and morally grey.

Any Australian military mentions such as squadron types and specialties are 100% real and researched.

Feel free to skip these two Ridley parts as you won't be missing anything in the main story. :)

RIDLEY POV PART ONE

Ridley’s body was thrown into the straps of her five-point harness relentlessly. She was sitting in the jump seat of a C17 – a last minute military aircraft she’d caught from London to Dubai. She just needed to escape. To get far away from her in the hopes that it would stop her from hurting Alexia. She wasn’t too concerned with hurting herself.

“The CAT is easing, Commander,” came the voice of the pilot through her head set. “We’re almost through it.”

CAT – Clear Air Turbulence. Ridley was tired, but she couldn’t sleep. She was seated in the cargo hold which was devoid of any other human except herself. “Copy.”

The flight was 7 hours long, and most of it she’d spent staring a thousand-yard stare into that void of the cargo hold just thinking about her. Alexia. The way she’d whispered, moaned, begged for her. The way she felt, the way she tasted and fucking moved with her. Her sounds when she whimpered, when she’d was pushed to her limits… when she came. It had broken Ridley, like she knew it would. How could she ever want anything less than all of her after that? No, she deserved more. She deserved the whole fucking world, and not the monster she was. Alexia had no idea what she was getting herself into with her, and she needed to protect her from herself.

They landed at 2pm local time and she caught a lift into town with one of the senior ranked officers on base. Ridley was known in the military world, and she’d been around. Met a lot of people. Worked hard and climbed the ranks. She was respected for her accomplishments, and now could come and go as she pleased, as she held such a high security clearance.

“Are you sure, Commander?” The officer asked.

Ridley nodded. “Here is perfect. Thanks for the lift.”

“Give us a call if you need anything. Anything at all.”

He left and she waited for him to do so. Only when he was gone did she jump on public transport to get to where she was actually going. She was used to frequenting Dubai for a few reasons, one of which being that it was central and in her line of work, that was essential.

She exited the train and moved over to the bus line, making sure she wasn’t followed as she went. Always aware. Always watching. Avoiding cameras and drawing attention. The bus moved through six stops and she stepped off just before the doors closed. From there she walked to her destination, stopping at a café on the way to pick up some sweets. A popular local sweet dish in Dubai that she loved was knafeh, which she bought along with filled donuts which were a must.

She paid for her items, adding a bottle of water to the list and was off down the street. She arrived at her destination at around 2:45pm and stopped outside, looking up at it. It was a mechanic shop. And not just any mechanics, the best in town. Anyone who knew Dubai knew that expensive cars were a given. Almost everyone had one. And this was the place they all fought for bookings at.

She walked into the open floor planned warehouse which was lined down the outer edges with cars on different levels, each getting work done, and each more expensive than the last. Ferrari, Lamborghini, Aston Martin, Bugatti, Maserati, Rolls Royce. She walked through and acknowledged each nod she received from the people who worked there. She came upon the office of the owner and knocked twice, opening before he answered.

“Ridley!” The voice boomed. Ali was a rich man, though not the egotistical type. In fact, he was rather the opposite. Most of the money he made went straight back into humanitarian efforts and other philanthropic endeavours.

She greeted him with a kiss on the cheek as she placed the knafeh on his desk in front of him.

“For you.”

He hummed as he looked her up and down. “You seem different…” he said in a strong Arabic accent.

Of course she did. She was fucking heartbroken. Grieving. In love with Alexia and forcing herself to break her heart. Plus, she hadn’t slept in 46 hours and had been wearing the same clothes she’d thrown on hastily as she’d left her in bed 9 hours ago.

“I haven’t slept in a few days.”

“No, no. There’s something else…” he murmured, still wondering. Eventually he gave up like people usually did. Ridley was a closed book. “But alas, I think I’m tired myself. I’m guessing you’re here for that?” He asked, gesturing to the wall.

She nodded.

“I was told you weren’t coming. Are you staying for long?”

“Unsure.”

“You’re welcome as long as you’d like. Anything you need.”

Anything you need. She heard that during almost every conversation when she was in Dubai. Another reason she enjoyed the place so much.

He smiled as he opened the box and she forced herself to give one in return. It’s not that she didn’t want to – just that it was difficult to fake any sort of positive emotion at this point.

Ridley turned and moved through the second door in his office. The one that was barely used. It led to the part of the warehouse that no one was allowed to enter except Ali and a select few individuals. The individuals she was there to meet.

She entered to the darkened part of the warehouse and was greeted by four heads turning towards her with the majority of their expressions showing they were caught off guard. All except the one person standing. The big guy.

He stood in front of the trio with a projector behind him, and his hands held behind his back with discipline. Beckett. That's what everybody else called him. That or Lieutenant. To her, he was Becks.

The trio sat casually in front of him, their chairs met with desks either side for their notes and food. Their faces spread into grins as she approached, placing the donuts on the table.

“Oh no, she’s here! Fucking knew this was another BOHICA,” said the little guy known as Fuzzy. His real name was Kaupa and he was SASR for Australian Army. They all were. Together, the group was made up the Fourth Squadron of the Special Air Service Regiment, though the government had never acknowledged their existence, nor ever would.

To the public, there were four official Squadrons. The 1st, 2nd and 3rd were sabre Squadrons, made up of 20 troopers with differing expertise, and they rotated through counter terrorism/special recovery and warfighting/reconnassaince. Then there was the 152nd Squadron designed for electronic warfare and to support the sabre squadrons. There were more, of course, though these four were the basis of the SASR for Australia and were always closely supported by the Australian Secret Intelligent Service for any of their missions and activities.

Their fourth squadron was not the usual. Instead of five of each in their special fields, there was one of each. And they were the best.

First, there was the little guy, Fuzzy. He was called Fuzzy because he was born in Papua New Guinea and during WW2, the Australian soldiers in PNG named the locals the ‘Fuzzy Wuzzy Angels’ as they helped them, cared for them, gave them medical attention in support. Kaupa fit that description. He was a little loose cannon, though the best when it came to his specialty. Mountaineering and jungle warfare. You’d never even know he was there until you were dead.

The next was a typical Australian guy named Williams, though they called him Wombat. Short for eats, shits and leaves. Crass, but true. He never settled down and never slept with the same woman twice. The typical womaniser, though Ridley loved him. He was unapologetically himself and he was well aware of his shortcomings. You had to be a bit of a nutcase to be in their profession. His specialty was Airborne. He could pilot anything like Ridley, and she’d met him when they were in the Air Force together, prior to their being poached by the SASR.

The last of the trio was a woman named Morgan. Her nickname though, was Duce, short for Medusa. Why? Because she could level a man with a gaze and wasn’t there to fuck around. She was the toughest of the trio. Her specialty was Mobility. That was ground movements, land movements, logistics, terrain and sniping.

She grinned at Ridley who returned it without a second thought. These were her family away from family. The people she trusted with her life. Though she trusted no one beyond the big guy. Becks. His specialty was Water. Scuba diving, water raids, submarines, etc. They ran the Squadron together for some time and although she held a higher rank in the Air Force, they both held the same in the Army and refused to be made higher. They didn’t want a desk job or to be put in command of more platoons and squadrons. No, their job was perfect and to be quite honest, she doubted that anyone could replace any single one of them. That’s why they were so successful. That’s why everybody in that dark side of the world knew them, and yet the public never would. They did the terrible things so that people could live their lives in peace and a blind happiness.

“You always think it’s a BOHICA,” Ridley murmured as she stood next to Duce. The woman wrapped an arm around her waist and smirked up at her.

“We both know Fuzzy loves a bit of bending over and taking it.”

BOHICA: Army slang for ‘Bend over here it comes again’ i.e. we’re being fucked.

“Now, now, there’s no problem with swinging both ways,” Wombat teased with a wink. He wasn’t just a womaniser for women, that one. Wombat loved everybody.

“I didn’t think you were coming for this one, Wings.” Becks said from the front. The others went quiet. He was very well respected. They both were. And he was the only one who called her that.

She shrugged. “I was bored. Besides, I figured you’d all need the help.”

“Oh no she didn’t.” Wombat challenged and stood.

“Bad idea bad idea, Romeo will smack you down,” Fuzzy said – wanting to see the result.

“Need help huh?” He fake challenged again.

Ridley stepped forwards and got close to him. Real close. The one thing he couldn’t control with her was his dick, and she had never, nor would she ever have done anything past a friendly touch with him. So now with her so close, he froze and as her lips closed in on his, she swept his leg and shoved him hard in the chest, forcing him to fall hard on his ass on the chair.

“Keep dreaming, Wombat.”

He grinned and stuck his hands up in surrender.

Ridley took her seat near Duce and put her attention back on Becks. “The floor is yours.”

Becks started presenting their mission again, throwing her a pack to read through.

“Here’s the finer details, the basis of it is that we’ve had a task we need to complete tonight. The son of one of the biggest political figures in Dubai needs recovering. His father is of vital importance to the current political stability in the middle east. He keeps the peace between Dubai and the western countries, including Australia.”

“Where is the son?”

“Taken hostage by Somali pirates. They’re using him as a bargaining chip to have his father cut the relationship between the middle east and western countries, and also money. Lots of money.”

He wasn’t saying the full story and she knew it. “Spit it out, Becks.”

He studied her face with a neutral expression before he spoke. “Cumar has him.”

Fuck.

Cumar was one of the largest crime lords in Somalia. Up until this point, they hadn’t managed to capture or kill him. Though he had killed one of their own. One of the pilots she and Wombat had trained with. He’d killed him right in front of her as she hung from the fucking ceiling, beaten and bloody. She was lucky the group had found her in time. She had more than a few scars from that incident. That was the last time she’d disappeared from Alexia.

Cumar, however, had escaped. He was currently the most wanted man on the globe.

She turned and looked at Wombat whose jaw was locking and unlocking. James was his friend too. It was difficult to not involve emotions.

“This is not revenge,” Becks said, reading their minds. “This is an overdue extraction. He’s been with him for two weeks now.”

“Two weeks? Where the fuck are the SAS? Why didn’t they handle this?” Wombat growled. He had a point; they had a lot more riding on it.

“They’re stuck in the Ukrainian conflict, and the uprising in the middle east at the moment between Palestine and Israel.”

“Seals?”

“They tried. They lost contact with them before they even reached his base and the yanks received some… prizes in return.”

Body parts.

Cumar.

“They believe this to be impossible. They want the best.”

Silence again. They were an interesting group of personalities, though they all had that intellectual and professional persona when it was serious.

“You wouldn’t look so confident without a plan..” Ridley murmured.

“This is mainly mobility so Duce has made a plan and we need to expand on it and see if it’s viable.” They nodded. “Duce?”

They switched places, Duce taking the front and Becks sitting in the seat near Ridley. He put a hand on her shoulder briefly. That’s the most physical affection he tended to show, though it meant everything.

“I’ve been liaising closely with ASIS and we believe his location to be here,” she said, pointing to an area on the map. She spoke of the location, identified the hazards and from the intelligence they were given, where their security were posted. They all listened carefully, adding their expertise here and there to overcome each of the potential issues that were already onsite or that may arise at some point as they made their detailed extraction plan. As they were talking – Ridley knew that coming here had been the right choice. Sure, she hadn’t slept in two days, but this… this was distracting. It was the only thing that could have distracted her from the thought of Alexia.. the softness of her skin… the feel of her hands tangled with her own as she fucked her from-

“Romes?”

Ridley looked up and Duce smiled. “You weren’t kidding when you said you were tired.”

“Mmnhmn.”

“We were talking about this. This is where we believe the Seals had an issue. They chuted in but their carrier was spotted and fired upon. From there, they were already dead, it was just a matter of picking them off when they touched ground. There’s this strip here that we’ve noted which may potentially be large enough to land at…”

“If their carrier was spotted then engine noise is our other issue,” Wombat said before turning to Ridley. “Can we glide in?”

Wombat was a fucking good pilot. But he knew what he was asking was dangerous and beyond anything he’d done before. Ridley had much more experience testing the limitations of aircraft and maximising the efficiency of an aircraft within the relative airflow.

She stood and Duce automatically stepped aside. Ridley pulled up the live map of the landing strip, she checked the wind, the cloud levels, the distance to the first potential group of people who may hear them. She’d need to shut down engines early… though from the look of the air pressure and wind…

“It’s dangerous. It has the potential to go very, very wrong. But it’s not impossible. With the weight of everybody here… we can use a plane small enough for the strip. It’s a full moon with direct contact to the strip so we will have okay visibility without lights when we go engines out. We can pull lighting just as we come down to flare, the trees will cover it by then. The biggest issue is getting an aircraft with an incredibly high aspect ratio. Think gliders… with an engine.”

“What’s the range needed?” Wombat asked.

“If we get approval to base and depart from Mandy Bay… the round trip will be around 1000 nautical miles.”

“So… bladder tank.”

She nodded. “Definitely. We’ll calculate the fuel needed for the return before we land and dump the excess fuel for weight as we glide in.”

“Do we have contacts in Kenya?” Becks asked.

“I do,” Wombat nodded. “I have a guy who’ll have the aircraft we need. I’ll make a call.”

Becks nodded and turned back to Ridley. “We can do this?”

“I’ll need to monitor every and all weather changes, but for now, it will work. The strip is north east facing, directly into the forecasted wind. It’s also almost the perfect amount of headwind for the direction we hit it, and it’ll give us a bit of leeway too. Cumar’s location is north. It’ll be hard to hear us as we’ll be downwind of where they are. I’m thinking we can switch off the engine a little later than anticipated because of it. It may end up being a bit of a crash landing, though, depending.”

Duce chuckled and Fuzzy scoffed. “It’s all been crash landings with Wombat since you’ve changed to coming and going as you please. How’s life as a civvy?”

Civvy – a civilian. She rolled her eyes and ignored the attempt to get a reaction from her.

“Happy with the risk?” She asked.

Becks nodded and stood, offering a hand. He wasn’t big on physical affection, though this was a treat. She clapped hands with his large, rough one.

“I’m glad you’re here, Wings.” He was the only one to call her Wings, and she the only one to call him Becks. Their own little way of showing their respect.

“Me too,” she smiled. She was glad she’d come, knowing that she was the only one who could land this.

“But you’re sleeping on the cargo plane before we arrive.”

To anyone else, they would have taken that as an order. Although she’d moved to part time, coming and going when she wanted, it still didn’t take away her rank or the respect they had for her. Beckett always treated her like an equal, although he was technically the sole squadron leader now. She listened to him talk about sleep though, and she knew it was coming from a caring place. He wanted her safe. And the group. Fatigue was a liability.

“Wilco.”

An hour later, they were on another military aircraft to Kenya. Ridley had found a medevac stretcher and had settled there with her jacket over her eyes. She slept through the flight and only woke as they touched down. The landing gear hit the runway and she jolted upright automatically awake. Fuzzy looked at her and gave a somewhat sad smile. They all tended to have those reactions, after what they’d seen. And although the PTSD was mild and well managed with therapy – they all knew they were stuck with it for the rest of their lives.

They stepped outside to a bright moonlit night at the US military base of Mandy Bay, Kenya. Flying backwards, they’d gained an hour, as it was only 8pm. They were greeted by officers and taken straight to their prep room. Ridley and Wombat detoured on their way to scout the plane they were to use and made sure it was satisfactory for the job.

“Happy?” He asked as he inspected a prop.

She nodded from her place under the wing. “This will work.”

“How much fuel, Commander?” The US officer asked from his ladder. He was filling the bladder tank in the back of the aircraft.

“Hold five. And move it more central for our weight and balance. We can’t have an aft centre of gravity with the structure of this.”

“Yes, Commander.”

As he and another soldier moved the bladder tank more central under Wombat’s supervision, Ridley took out her tablet and double and triple checked her flight plans with the updated forecast of winds and weather.

“I need full wing tanks and that bladder with an extra 280 litres. I’m going in to prep. Standby in case the winds change before we leave.”

“Affirm - full wing tanks and 280 litres in the bladder.”

Their prep took hours – as it should. They were very, very thorough. It was rare they were ever caught out by surprises or unplanned events. They collected their packs, their weapons, and ran through their strategies with updated intelligence. Whatever happened – they didn’t exist. She wondered what Alexia and Blue would be told if she weren’t to come back. If she were to be killed. To be fair, she just wanted them both safe and happy. And then her will would provide the extra cushion of financial support for them.

Their off-blocks time was 10pm. They flew straight north, following the coast as the moon reflected the waves below. They flew high enough to not be heard, yet low enough to not be seen. There was a single road that ran across the border of Kenya, into Somalia and towards their target. It looked empty from above, yet they all knew better. There were definitely more of Cumar’s people checkpointing the road. Duce had intelligence on a few areas to expect them should they have to escape via road, though not all of them.

Being stuck in a situation where they couldn’t be seen or heard to approach, it meant they needed to conduct a non-conventional approach to the landing strip over water. This was to avoid the noise over the land. Ridley dropped them low over the ocean and joined an extended base for the strip. In the moonlight, they spotted it, but barely.

“Engines out is final.” She reminded. “We won’t be attempting to restart and we will be landing, regardless.”

“Affirm,” Wombat agreed from the right seat.

As they approached the height of engine out, he started to read her airspeed and altitude. This was the most difficult part by far.

“On spec… on spec… plus 4 on slope… plus 7 on slope… plus 10 on slope…”

Ridley had purposely increased her approach speed to compensate for the upcoming lack of power.

“Plus 15, plus 50…. 200 above engine out… plus 20, plus 80… 100 above engine out… 50 above engine out.”

“Established. Engines out.” She directed.

“Copy – engines out. Engine 1…”

Wombat shut down the first engine and Ridley compensated for the yaw with her foot pressed hard into the rudder.

“Feather engine 1.”

“Feathering engine 1…” The pressure needed from her leg eased as it feathered. “Engine 1 feathered. Engine 2 out…” He said with his hand on the second throttle.

“Affirm, engine 2 out.”

Wombat shut down the second engine, cutting the mixture and all went silent. They were gliding.

She compensated for the tiniest bit of yaw before, “Feather engine 2.”

“Feathering engine 2…” The need for rudder was eliminated until it was just to account for the wind. “Engine 2 feathered.”

“Gliding, lights out.”

“On speed, 50 below.”

He read her speeds and altitudes all the way down the approach, as was usual for a multi-crew environment. She checked her fuel and was satisfied with the remaining amount.

“Dump the bladder.”

Becks, Fuzzy and Duce dumped the bladder tank from the aircraft which made it lighter and put her back on slope.

“On spec.”

She’d adjusted perfectly for the engine outs and the weight loss from the bladder, and she could hear it in Wombat’s voice.

“Wind 030 at 15.”

She’d noticed the wind had shifted to a slight crosswind, though it was manageable. It was more difficult with a high aspect ratio of course. Longer wings means more area for the crosswind to push, though she worked the rudder and ailerons to crab into the landing strip.

“300 above. On spec…. minimums…”

“Continue.”

“200 above on spec. Lights on?”

“No until the flare,” she murmured. The trees were lower than she’d expected, and didn’t want to risk the lights being seen. “Lights at 70.”

“Affirm.”

“100 above.”

They were only 100 feet above the ground and descending at a rate that would result in disaster. But that’s exactly where she wanted to be.

“70 feet, lights.” Wombat said – powering the lights.

Ridley had a split second of vision to flare relative to the ground. She did so and held pressure back on the yoke, not having to compensate for the wind that was now blocked by the tree line. She held back pressure until the mains touched, and slowed with brakes until she could let the nose wheel down.

“Lights off.”

They went back to darkness, moonlight only, though that was enough. Ridley made the most out of the momentum of the aircraft to roll it to the far end of the strip and pumped the right brake in stages to turn them back around near the tree line. Ready for a quick getaway.

They stopped and parked there, pulling the park brakes on. She felt a hand on her shoulder.

“That was fucking extraordinary.” Duce said, speaking for the others. She leapt out first, with her pack and rifles.

Fuzzy tapped her shoulder in thanks on his way out also. “Missed you.”

Wombat gave her a grin. “You’ll always upstage me, huh?”

“Someone needs to keep you on your toes.” She shrugged as she took her headset off.

He leapt out and she went to follow suit when Becks murmured from behind her. “There will never be another you, Wings.”

The highest of Becks compliments. She didn’t have time to respond before he was out on the ground.

Ridley slipped out last, hitting the floor harder than usual with the weight of her pack. Now they were in Cumar’s territory. Any step could be their last.

All of the group were hyper focused on their surroundings and automatically took up positions where their backs were to each other, protecting each other. Regardless - Ridley hadn’t even had a chance to join when she felt a body against her back, and a knife pressed so hard into her stomach that it pierced through flesh.

#woso #womens football #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso soccer #woso x reader #alexia putellas #fcb femení #lionesses #fc barcelona #fc barca #culers

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yuuuta95 · 1 year

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Super Rich Kids

Pairing: Nakamoto Yuta x Reader (ft. Taeyong, Jaehyun, Ten, and Xiaojun)

Warnings: sexual content, mention of suicide (but not really)

Summary: Spending the summer at a country club sounds like torture. Spending the summer at a country club with Nakamoto Yuta, Lee Taeyong, Jeong Jaehyun, Lee Ten, and (a brief appearance from) Xiao Dejun is even worse.

Word Count: 18.4k

Soundtrack: Super Rich Kids by Frank Ocean

A/N: This is my first post. A reworking of something I wrote a while ago. I hope you like it! Let me know your favourite parts! ^^

one

“Stop being so dramatic; I’ll be joining you in two weeks. My new step-bitch wants to take me shopping in Dubai so we can ‘bond’ but I know it’s just a massive excuse to convince my dad to give her his credit card so she can fulfil her gold-digging fantasies”, Sana’s voice echoed through the loudspeaker of my phone as I finished packing my bags. I walked over to my bed, falling back onto it and turning my head so that I was facing the phone I had laid on my pillow.

“I’m sorry, Sana. If it makes you feel any better, while you’re splashing the cash in Dubai, I’ll be suffering a slow and painful death at the country club. God knows why my dad and Jessica insist on spending all summer there when there are so many other places to visit and so many other things to do that don’t involve making forced conversation with a bunch of rich, sexist men, their trophy wives and their spoiled children!” I sulked. I lifted my head as I heard Sana giggling on the other line.

“Didn’t you just describe your own family, Y/N?” she laughed. As the realisation hit me, I couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle.

“I’m not spoiled though”, I argued, though my smile never left my face.

“You are a little… Oh, shit, I have to go. The step-bitch is calling me. You’re so lucky your dad married someone who at least cares about you. My mommy treats me like a burden she has to bear in order to continue getting access to unlimited money. Okay, I really have to go now, she’s coming upstairs. I’ll see you in two weeks, yeah?” Sana didn’t give me a chance to reply before hanging up. Burying my head deeper into my pillow, I screamed. This was going to be another dull networking event disguised as a holiday. Same shit, different year.

“Y/N… sweetheart, we’re here”, I slowly opened my eyes and saw Jessica smiling down as she gave me another gentle nudge. “Your father and I are going to go check in; make sure you lock up the car when you get out”. With that, I felt car keys being pushed into my hand and the car door being closed. I lifted my head and looked out of the window just in time to see her shuffling away in her heels, struggling to keep up with my dad who clearly didn’t care that she was having trouble in her new shoes. He really didn’t deserve her. I reached into my bag and pulled out a mirror, trying to salvage my messy hair and clean up my smudged makeup. How had I managed to end up looking like such a mess within the space of a 3-hour car ride and nap? A few moments later I emerged from the car looking somewhat presentable. I locked up the car, not failing to notice that it was parked right in front of the club in a reserved parking space. It must have been one of the perks of being close friends with the club’s owner, Lee Soo-man.

“Dude, isn’t that Y/N?” I heard a voice mumble. I recognised it immediately… Jaehyun. My head whipped back to find what I could only describe as my worst nightmare. Standing in front of me, smirks covering their features as they each gave me a once-over, were Jaehyun, Yuta, Ten and Taeyong. I could feel my heart racing as I tried not to feel too insecure under their gazes. As always, Yuta was the first to speak.

“You look like shit”, he scoffed before adjusting his bag pack and making his way towards the reception building. I rolled my eyes. Typical prick. I looked over at Jaehyun expectedly. He was Yuta’s right-hand man and usually the one to add onto any insult that had been thrown my way.

“Hmmm, I’d still fuck you”, he simply winked before following on the heels of his best friend, shadowed by a bored looking Ten.

“In your dreams, Jeong”, I yelled after him. Frustrated and already planning how I was going to avoid those jerks for the whole summer, I turned to find Taeyong staring at me as a result of my sudden outburst. I shifted uncomfortably as I waited for him to say something. He simply smiled and nodded before following the others. As luck would have it, the boy I have been crushing on for the past year was the one who had just barely acknowledged my existence then walked away. Why couldn’t he have been the one to say he wanted to fuck me?

As soon as I got into my room, I collapsed onto the bed. Why was the universe punishing me? Not only could my best friend not be here for the first two weeks of this dumpster fire, I was going to have to deal with Yuta alone. I could handle Jaehyun; he was just a cocky playboy who used his admittedly gorgeous face to manipulate vulnerable, attention deprived trust fund girls into letting him fuck their brains out. I knew him too well to fall for his techniques. I could handle Ten; he was uninterested in everyone and everything, only looking up from his phone occasionally to drop a sarcastic comment or two. He didn’t care enough about me to bother me… I’m not going to lie, that actually made me crave his attention a little. Taeyong… I could barely handle him but anyone would only have to look at his face to see why. He was sculpted by the Gods yet was so unaware of his beauty. I didn’t understand how someone so sweet and friendly could be mixed up with someone like Yuta.

Oh yes, Yuta, the one boy I couldn’t handle.

He was the definition of a spoilt brat, using money to buy whatever and whoever he wanted. Urgh, I couldn’t understand what had possessed me to sleep with him repeatedly over the course of the five years I’d known him. He was rude, selfish, materialistic and arrogant, yet I’d managed to let myself get lost in him. I’d managed to let him whisper sweet nothings into my ear as he pulled my hips into his, thrusting desperately as I trembled beneath him. I’d even managed to repeatedly allow him into my mouth, my swollen lips wrapped around him as he tried to control his grunts out of fear that someone would discover us in the empty classroom. Despite our regular arguments and less-than-friendly manner of addressing one other, we had always found our way back together. I eventually broke it off when I realised that my crush on Taeyong would never become anything more than a crush if I was secretly fucking one of his best friends. Yuta didn’t take it so well. He accused me of being desperate for ‘pining after a guy who was worse than all the fuckboys he knew combined’. He tried to convince me that Taeyong wasn’t as he seemed and frankly, I found his attempt at sabotaging Taeyong to be pathetic. Since our ‘break up’ almost 6 months ago, I hadn’t seen or heard from Yuta, and had therefore mistakenly assumed I would never have to deal with him.

“Y/N, we’re going out to dinner. Do you want to join us?” I looked towards my door and found Jessica smiling at me. Before I could respond, my dad’s voice came booming from the living room.

“She has to go. What will Lee Soo-man think if my whole family isn’t there? It’ll look like we don’t appreciate his hospitality. Y/N, wear something presentable, and be out here in 10 minutes”, he bellowed. I could see the apologetic look on Jessica’s face as she closed the door, leaving me to get ready.

The ballroom where dinner was being served was massive to say the least. But with its expensive art, frosted windows, golden walls and extravagant chandelier, it looked like it was trying too hard. As we were shown to our table, I couldn’t help but notice that there were seven plate settings, meaning we were expecting to entertain four other guests. I sighed as I adjusted my dress, becoming more self-conscious of how low cut it was. I turned around and scanned the room looking for… Yuta? Taeyong? I wasn’t sure. Either way, I found neither. Turning back in my chair, I almost let out a scream as the previously unoccupied seat in front of me now had a raven-haired boy whose attention was consumed by the device in his hand.

“Hi Ten”, I tried to usurp his concentration. He simply looked up at me, gave a forced smile and returned to him device. “Okay then”, I mumbled under my breath. Ten’s father and mine were good friends so it was no surprise that they had chosen to combine our family dinners. Like I said, this was all a big networking event disguised as a family getaway.

“Ten, please put that thing away”, his mother said, her voice so overly sweet that it was obvious that she was upset with him. Ten let out a dramatic sigh before slipping his phone into his pocket and staring at me, as if to say this is your fault.

“You have my attention. What do you want?” he simply stated.

“Is being a total asshole a pre-requisite to being in Yuta’s squad?” I shot back.

“If it is then you seem to have a thing for assholes”. I furrowed my brows. “Don’t think I’ve missed your pathetic attempts to get me to talk to you. Or your whatever with Yuta. And, God, you look like a love struck puppy every time Tae walks past you. It’s only a matter of time before you start lusting after Jaehyun as well”, he mused, “Good thing Xiaojun is volunteering this summer otherwise I’d have to endure you eye-fucking him as well”.

“Ten! That is enough!” his mother had clearly been eavesdropping on the conversation, not trusting her antisocial son to interact like a normal human being.

“It’s okay, ma’am”, I smiled sweetly at her before turning my attention back to Ten. “You’re more observant than you seem”, I simply laughed. Without his phone, he was looking for some entertainment and clearly riling me up was his idea of a good time.

“You don’t have to be observant to notice the drool falling from your lips when Tae is anywhere within your line of vision”, he retorted, “As for Yuta, you two really weren’t as subtle as you thought… And me? Whenever you see us at school, you say hi to me first, even though we’re not friendly. It’s because you crave what you can’t have; it’s a subconscious thing. But who can blame you? Just look at me, who wouldn’t want a piece?” he winked. I rolled my eyes. For someone who was constantly looking down at his phone, he saw a lot more than other people did. I stated to wonder if he had discussed all of this with the others. As if he had read my mind, Ten simply smirked and said, “Don’t worry. These are all our little secrets”.

I had somehow managed to get through dinner, using all my energy to ignore Ten’s gaze. I was starting to want anything but his attention. He had this intense way of undressing people with his eyes. I’d felt naked as I took forks full of pasta to my mouth. This hadn’t been helped by the fact that my already low cut dress kept slipping down, resulting in Ten occasionally glancing at my chest.

“Ten, why don’t you walk Y/N back to her family’s suite?” his mother suggested when she noticed how restless I was becoming, having finished my food half an hour ago. Ten, whose gaze had now shifted to a red head a few tables down, looked at me and raised his eyebrow as if to ask do you want me to? I gave a subtle nod and got up from my chair. I made my way to the exit, and could hear Ten’s footsteps not far behind.

A refreshing gust of wind hit my face as I stepped out of the ballroom. It was its own separate building meaning that I had to walk across the artificial field to get to the building where our suite was. Although I could have allowed the short two-minute walk to be a silent one, I found that familiar craving for Ten’s attention creeping back into me as I noticed that he was already looking down at his phone.

“So who was the red head?” I questioned.

“Why? Are you jealous?” Ten grinned at me.

“No… I was just curious. You kept staring at her. Could you be crushing on her perhaps?” I countered.

“Leave the psychoanalysing to me, Y/N”, he laughed, “No, I don’t like her. But she likes me. I can tell she’s been crushing on me for a while. She was looking for me from the moment she entered the ballroom, and when she finally found me, she couldn’t stop looking back again and again… and again. I was bored so I looked back”, he spoke as if he was reciting a well-known fact.

“What are you?” I looked up at him in disbelief. He let out a laugh. A genuine laugh; and it was one of the most beautiful things I’d ever heard.

“I like psychology. I like analysing people. Humans are so fascinating. I read somewhere that humans are their true selves when they think no one is watching so…” he waved his phone, “I often pretend I’m not watching”. I couldn’t help but laugh at this new revelation that uninterested Ten was actually secretly analysing everyone.

“Apart from all that bullshit from dinner, what can you tell me about who I am?” I asked. He stopped in his tracks, looking taken aback by the question. I stopped and turned to see what he was doing. He unlocked his phone and tapped the screen a couple of times before clearing his throat.

“I have here in my notes…”

“In your notes?!” I cried.

“Shhhh. I have here in my notes, ‘obsession with Tae shows destructive personality, dated (or at least fucked) Yuta then broke his heart, desperation for Ten - that’s me – shows a desperation for male attention possibly brought on by paternal issues, pupils dilate when looking at Yuta suggesting attraction, actually pupils dilate when looking at Jaehyun, Taeyong, Xiaojun and Ten – me again – so possibly just super thirsty’. Again, I think that might be because of your paternal problems”. I stood there, shocked at the incredibly accurate yet also very invasive analysis.

“I have some questions”, I muttered.

“Naturally…”

“Why is my ‘obsession’ with Tae destructive? What makes you think I broke Yuta’s heart? And how the fuck do you notice my pupil’s dilating? You hardly ever look at me!”

“You did break Yuta’s heart. I can tell. He hasn’t been the same since you two stopped… whatever the fuck it was you were doing. He’s crankier and he just sleeps with a shit ton of random girls like he’s trying to forget something… or someone. How cliché. As for the eyes thing, I watch you closer than you realise. Don’t be embarrassed though, we’re all pretty fucking hot. You’re one of our many, many, many, many admirers”, he smirked as I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, “And Tae… You like him because you think he’s not like the others, right? That he’s charming and humble and shy? But honestly, Tae is as manipulative and cocky as they come. The only difference between Jae and Tae is that Jae is upfront”. My mind is suddenly reminded of Yuta’s own warnings about Taeyong. “Tae is like me; he likes psychology. But unlike me, he uses it to fuck with girls. Surely, you should be able to realise that it doesn’t add up that he is friends with people who are supposedly so unlike him… birds of a feather flock together. There are so many signs that he’s playing you and a dozen other girls but you’ve subconsciously erased all…”

“Okay, geez, stop!” I finally shouted, “You can go back! I can find my own way back to my room!” Ten really was using me as a form of entertainment because he wasn’t on his phone. Before he could respond, I was already turning on my heels and making my way to the building ahead of me.

“Be careful of wolves in sheep’s clothing, Y/N”, chuckled Ten. I ignored him as I continued walking.

two

Be careful of wolves in sheep’s clothing, Y/N.

Be careful of wolves in sheep’s clothing.

Be careful of wolves.

Be careful.

These words had not left my brain in the last three days. I hadn’t spoken to Ten since that night although I did occasionally catch glimpses of him and Yuta walking around the club. To my relief, neither of them even bothered to acknowledge my existence. I was still incredibly upset at the fact that Ten had essentially told me I had severe daddy issues which made me crave male attention. No wonder I’d never seen him or heard of him dating anyone; despite being insanely attractive, he wasn’t exactly a charmer.

“Y/N?” I heard a knock at my bedroom door. Panic set in my chest as I shuffled off my bed and cautiously made my way to the door. That deep voice didn’t belong to Jessica or my father, the only two other people with access to the suite. As I reached the door, another knock resonated through my room. Okay, if it was a murderer, they wouldn’t have been knocking, right? I turned to door knob and swung the door open only to come face to face with…

“Taeyong?! What are you doing here?” I made no effort to hide the surprise in my voice. He stood there in a plain white shirt and swimming shorts, a shy smile rested on his lips.

“Your dad told me you hadn’t left your room in a few days. I-I wasn’t asking about you; he was talking to my dad and I was just there and he saw me and he just asked me to invite you out or something...” Taeyong sped through his sentence so quickly I had to take a moment to process what he was saying. “Anyway, I don’t want you to be bored and alone, and some friends of mine have booked out the West Court Swimming Pool for a party that’s starting in about an hour so I was wondering if you wanted to come? I know it’s already like 9PM so I understand if you don’t want to come.” I froze in place, simply staring at the Greek God before me; this sculpted piece of art who had just asked me to hang out with him. As I smiled, about to accept his invitation, it dawned on me that his ‘friends’ were the boys I’d been trying to avoid.

“Actually… I don’t think that’s such a good idea…” I started.

“Is it because of Ten and Yuta?” he surprised me by asking. I looked up from my feet and into his eyes, nodding. “Ten told me what he said to you. It was pretty shitty but that kid just lacks a lot of social skills so don’t take it personally”.

“He told you that he told me you’re basically evil?” I found myself asking. Taeyong’s eyes widened and I immediately regretted what I had said.

“No, he told me that he told you that you crave attention or something like that… Wait, he said I was evil?” Taeyong held my gaze as I tried to think of an excuse. I couldn’t so I just nodded. “I mean; do you think I’m evil?” he asked. I shook my head and he seemed relieved. “Listen, you didn’t hear this from me but Ten likes you. He’s had a crush on you for about three years now so maybe he’s trying to weed out the competition because he’s – I don’t know – obsessed with you or something”. Overwhelmed by this new revelation, I stood speechless for a few seconds before deciding to use this opportunity in my favour.

“The competition? That would imply that you like me too”, I questioned. Again, Taeyong’s eyes widened at my response and he immediately ran his hand through his hair.

“Wow, I really shouldn’t have come. Your dad was worried about you so I just thought… Now I look pathetic; it looks like Ten and Yuta really did mess up my chances”, he stated. At the mention of Yuta’s name, my entire body began to burn up with anger. I just knew that he had been involved in this. Ten and Yuta were trying to sabotage Taeyong, and by me avoiding their entire group, I was playing into whatever this was. But if according to Ten, Yuta still liked me, and according to Taeyong, Ten liked me, why were they working together to – no, I was looking too much into this. I liked Taeyong and he had just revealed that he liked me too so that’s what I would put my energy towards.

“No, you don’t look pathetic. Actually, I’d love to come to the party”, I beamed. Taeyong immediately smiled back.

“That’s great! I’ll wait for you in the living room if that’s okay”. I nodded, closed my door and ran to my unpacked suitcase to pick out some swimwear before I changed my mind.

“You look nervous”, Taeyong observed as we walked hand-in-hand to the West Court. I looked up at him and he gave me a small reassuring smile. As we approached the swimming area, I couldn’t help but notice how quiet it was. I also began to realise that the West Court building didn’t seem to have any lights on as we walked towards it.

“It’s really quiet and dark”, I stated, hoping Taeyong could explain why there was no sign of life. As Taeyong opened his mouth to say something, I felt a sudden mass of water being poured over my head, completely soaking into the floral dress I had thrown on over my swimwear. Suddenly, I was being bombarded with what felt like water balloons. I felt Taeyong’s hand pull me so that I was standing behind him. My initial reaction was to laugh at this surprise attack but as my body started getting itchy and hot, I realised that something wasn’t right. As an influx of water balloons continued to come our way, I brought my hand to my nose and took a quick sniff; there was a faint smell that told me that this wasn’t just plain water. “WHAT THE FUCK?” I suddenly shouted. The water balloons continued at a steady pace until one hit my straight in the face, the liquid going right into my eyes. The intense burning caused me to collapse onto the pavement, my head in my hands.

“STOP!” I heard Taeyong call out. Almost immediately, the attack ceased. The lights on the side of the pavement that had previously been off suddenly sparked on. With my eyes burning, I couldn’t make out the faces of the figures around me but I could see their panicked body movements as they tried to defuse the situation.

“Fuck! Was that supposed to happen?” I recognise the voice that belonged to Jaehyun. I felt Taeyong pull me closer.

“What was in those balloons?” Taeyong asked as he used the back of his hands to wipe my now stinging eyes.

“It was water infused with-with some of-of those hot J-Japanese bath s-salts of Yuta’s. Shit! I don’t think they’re supposed to get in the eyes!” I heard Jaehyun panic.

“Well they did so now what?” Taeyong spat out. Another voice I couldn’t recognise spoke up.

“It says to seek medical attention on the package”, the voice said. My vision was now un-blurring and as I lifted my head to look up at the figures in front of me, Taeyong grabbed my head and used his thumbs to wipe over my eyes, getting rid of the excess liquid.

“I’ll take you to the medical centre”, he whispered as he helped me up. “You guys clean this mess up and go back to your suites”, he ordered the others. As Taeyong and I started making our way to the medical centre, I quickly looked back and saw four figures begin to clear up the mess they had created.

“I can’t believe you have to wear an eye patch for the next couple of days”, laughed Sana as I recounted the previous day’s events for her over the phone.

“I know right. And my dad is making me go out to watch a polo match in a few minutes”, I sighed. I had just finished putting on the final touches to my makeup but the massive black eyepatch covering my left eye and the redness still in the right eye took most of the attention.

“I’m sorry. Just wear a really big hat and keep your head down”, Sana tried to comfort me.

“This would have never happened if you were here!” I cried out.

“Actually, yes it would have. If Taeyong had come to your door and asked you to go to a party with him, would you have been like ‘no, Sana is here’?”

“Okay, fine! You’re right. I still can’t believe how sweet he was yesterday. He stayed with me until midnight in the medical centre and then walked me back to my family’s suite. Why does he hang out with those Neanderthals?” I felt myself getting angry just at the mention of his friends.

“I can’t believe Yuta and Ten would stoop to that level. Jaehyun, I can understand because when he’s not fucking girls, he’s harassing them”, Sana spat out angrily.

“Yeah, they must have been furious to find out that Tae and I were coming to the party together… If the party was even real. I bet they set it all up just for that attack”, I mused.

“But then they wouldn’t have known Tae was going to bring you… Unless he was in on it too”.

“Why would Tae be in on something like that? He was attacked too”, I shrugged off the claim, “I have to go now. I’ll talk to you later”. After exchanging goodbyes with Sana, I went into my dad’s room and grabbed the biggest hat I could find in Jessica’s collection before making my way down to reception to join my family.

The polo match was as dull as I had expected. I sat at our family’s table alone as my father and Jessica had gone to mingle. The tall lemonade in front of me had quickly become too warm under the intense heat of the sun. I found myself sweating but resisted the temptation to take off my hat as it had done a great job at hiding my eyepatch.

“Hello Y/N. Fancy seeing you here”. I felt the presence of two bodies sitting either side of me.

“Hello Yuta. Are you surprised because you were expecting me to be blind after your little stunt last night?” I shot back.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” he chuckled. He leaned his head forward and upon catching a glimpse of my red eye and eye patch, his smile fell. “What happened to you?”

It took all my energy not to slap him. “Oh it turns out that Japanese bath salt stuff isn’t eye-friendly”, I sarcastically retorted. Ten had now leaned forward and was studying my face too.

“You’re a weird chick, Y/N. What are you actually talking about?” Ten joined in.

“Why are you two even talking to me? You’ve been blanking me for days”, I changed the subject, tired of their fake innocent act.

“This polo match is dead and we thought terrorising you would cheer us up but it looks like someone beat us to it”, Yuta’s hand had found its way to my face; he gently stroked the involuntary tears falling from under my eye patch. I grabbed his wrist and pulled away his hand in an attempt to stop the fluttering in my stomach as our skin made contact.

“You don’t get to act like you care when you didn’t even say a word last night”, I hissed.

“You keep referring to ‘last night’ like I’m supposed to know what the fuck you’re talking about”, Yuta hissed back.

“Yeah, Y/N, you sound a bit confused. Are you sure you didn’t eat any of these bath salt things?” Ten continued analysing my face. “Your face is so swollen. You should go to the medical centre”, he added.

“You two are such assholes. You see how bad the damage is in day light so now you want to relinquish responsibility”, I scoffed.

“I’m literally going to fucking drag you out of here by your eyepatch if you don’t start making sense”, Yuta exhaled in frustration. As I opened my mouth to shout at him, I spotted Taeyong quickly making his way to the table.

“Y/N, come with me. Don’t let them bother you anymore”, Taeyong took my hand and pulled me away, leaving behind a very confused looking Ten, and a very furious looking Yuta.

“…so then Ten told me the party was a West Court and I should be there at around 9PM. I never knew they were going to ambush us like that. Yuta told me earlier this morning that it was payback – whatever that means”, Taeyong explained.

“How did they know I was with you? It didn’t even seem like there was a party to begin with so what if you hadn’t run into my dad then ended up inviting me?” I tried to make sense of everything.

“I-I don’t know Y/N. I just know that I texted them while you were getting ready to explain why I was running late”, he sighed. We were sitting in the reception area of the club’s main building enjoying the feeling of air conditioning hitting our hot skin. There were so many things that still didn’t make any sense. Taeyong looked at me and gave me a sympathetic smile before saying, “This is all my fault… You still look beautiful though”. I had long since removed my hat and allowed my puffy face to be revealed to him.

“No, I don’t. My face is swollen”, I echoed Ten’s words. Taeyong simply leaned forward, placing a chaste kiss on my lips.

“You’re actually kidding me, right?” Taeyong and I both quickly turned to face Yuta and Ten who were now standing just a few metres away from us. “Tae, we agreed that she was off limits”, Yuta growled.

“She’s not a possession”, Taeyong shot up in his seat and took a step closer to Yuta.

“You manipulative… What is this I hear from Jaehyun about bath salts and water balloons?” Yuta stepped closer to Taeyong.

“I don’t know. You tell me; they were your bath bombs. Stop trying to act innocent now that you see the damage you’ve done”, Taeyong didn’t back down and now the two boys were standing there with their faces only inches apart.

“Tell me, Y/N...” Ten suddenly spoke up, “… did you actually see me or Yuta wherever the hell you were attacked last night? You seem pretty sure that we were there”. I carefully thought back to the night before. The stinging in my eyes. The blurry vision. Only being able to make out dark figures. Only being able to recognise Jaehyun’s voice.

“There were four people who orchestrated the attack, and I know that one of them was Jaehyun. I didn’t recognise the other’s voice. And that leaves two others”, I worked out. Yuta rolled his eyes.

“Tae has more friends that just Ten and I. That could have been anyone”, he countered.

“Then where you last night?” Taeyong suddenly asked. Yuta turned his attention back to Taeyong.

“I can’t say…” Yuta’s voice was low and menacing.

“And what about you, Ten?” Taeyong smirked.

“…I can’t say either”, Ten cleared his throat.

“How fucking convenient”, I muttered before getting up from my seat and grabbing Taeyong’s hand. Yuta’s eyes immediately landed on our entwined fingers and I could tell he was angry.

“Dude, I said she was off limits”, he simply said to Taeyong before turning around and making his way to the reception door. Ten began to follow but turned around before reaching the door.

“Did you ever think that maybe five guys orchestrated that attack and one of them was the one standing by your side”, Ten chuckled humourlessly before leaving. Taeyong squeezed my hand tighter and looked down at me smiling. It made no sense for him to have been a part of it and so for the second time that day, I dismissed claims that he had been involved.

“There you are!” Jessica shouted from across the field. I ran over to her and my father; they were sitting at our table, my boiling hot lemonade keeping them company.

“Please put the hat back on, Y/N, your face is a bit of an eyesore right now”, my dad mumbled. I placed the hat back on my head. “Honestly, you go out one night and I get a call from medical at stupid o’clock telling me that some boy is bringing you back home”.

“She was attacked, darling”, Jessica gritted her teeth.

“What was she doing out so late at night anyway?” my dad huffed.

“You’re the one who told Taeyong I hadn’t left my room in days…” I countered.

“And why would I do that? What business do I have discussing you with this Taeyong boy?” he turned to me.

“Well, maybe he just overheard you when you were speaking to his father about me”, I stated.

“And what business would I have discussing you with his father?” my dad looked perplexed. Come to think of it, he had a right to be confused. The situation made little sense now that I thought about it.

“Tae came over yesterday and…”

“Oh, my fault”, Jessica laughed nervously, “He told me you two had plans and that he wanted to come and get you because you weren’t answering your phone… so I gave him our suite key”.

“You gave a boy the key to our suite so he could visit my daughter while we weren’t there?” I heard my dad start to argue but my thoughts were elsewhere. Taeyong had not tried to call me, and up until he had come up to my room, we did not have plans…

three

Taeyong placed another chaste kiss on my lips as we walked hand-in-hand down the beach. It was getting late but the summer sun was refusing to set. The beach was only a 15-minute drive from the country club but I knew we had to leave soon in order to make it back in time for yet another networking dinner.

“Walking on the beach. Who would have thought Lee Taeyong was so cliché?” I giggled. Taeyong smirked at me.

“What can I say? I’m full of surprises”, he whispered as we came to a sudden stop and he pulled me into an embrace. We stood there in silence for a few seconds before I pulled away from him.

“We should really be getting back now. My family is meeting up with the Jeongs before the dinner to pop open a bottle of champagne. Something about a business deal or whatever”, I mumbled, upset that I had to pull myself away from this perfect day. Ever since the stupid prank Jaehyun, Yuta and Ten had pulled five days ago, along with the mystery guy, Taeyong and I had spent every day together; we’d gone to restaurants outside of the club, we’d gone shopping, we’d walked on the beach and… we’d made out on more than one occasion. Taeyong wasn’t trying to rush me into anything deeper, and I truly appreciated that.

“Okay, let’s go. I’m sorry you’ll have to spend time with Jaehyun though”, he laughed as he led me towards the stairs to the car park. “I know you still haven’t forgiven him and the others for what they did”.

“I’d be less upset if Yuta and Ten would actually admit that they were involved”, I huffed. Taeyong let out a sigh.

“Like I said before, they’re both just trying to fuck with us. Ten is head over heels in love with you so he doesn’t want to see us together. And Yuta is still bitter over your break up, I guess”.

“Did everyone know about Yuta and I because I thought we were a secret”, I laughed nervously.

“Don’t worry. Ten and I are the only ones who really noticed. We’re more observant than other people”, he stated. I was immediately reminded of the night that Ten had told me that him and Taeyong were a lot alike but Taeyong used his ‘observations’ to manipulate girls. After learning that Taeyong had lied about having plans with me so that Jessica could let him into our suite, I’d been wary of him. However, having spent these last few days with him, I didn’t feel manipulated. He was sweet and considerate and hadn’t tried to get into my pants or anything so I was struggling to see how this benefited him in the slightest. Yuta and Ten had made no attempts to apologise or offer an explanation as to where they were during the night my eyes were almost burned out of my skull. Jaehyun had offered a very sincere apology but then instantly gone back to being his fuck-boy-self the next time I’d seen him. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing him at the pre-dinner celebration.

As luck would have it, I arrived at our family suite only to be met by my father, Jessica, Mr Jeong and Mrs Jeong toasting to whatever they were toasting to. Jessica immediately explained that they had decided to make it a ‘adults only’ thing and that I would have to go to the Jeongs’ suite to wait for them to finish their mini-celebration. Then they’d call us down to dinner. I’d essentially cut my date with Taeyong short to come back and be forced to hang out with the mess that was Jaehyun.

As I entered the Jeongs’ suite, I couldn’t help but notice that it was twice the size of ours. With its tall ceiling and grand furnishing, complete with a jacuzzi on the balcony, I could tell why my dad had been so eager to close his deal with Mr Jeong’s company. My father was nothing if not money and power hungry. It would explain why he spent most of my life trying to raise profit instead of his own daughter.

“All of this could be yours if you married me one day”, I heard Jaehyun’s voice cut through my thoughts. I turned around to see him standing there with his hair dishevelled and half of his shirt buttons undone, a small smirk playing on his lips. It didn’t take a genius to notice that he had just finished fucking some girl in his room. And sure enough, as I was about to reply to his comment, a disgruntled blonde stumbled out of his room with her heels in her hands.

“So, you just go around promising marriage to every girl you see, huh?” she spat out as she struggled to fix the strap of her red dress.

“It’s the fastest way to get them into bed”, Jaehyun shot back, smiling.

“You’re lucky you’re rich and hot, but at the end of the day, does that money buy daddy’s attention?” she taunted.

“See, all I heard was ‘you’re rich’, ‘you’re hot’ and ‘daddy’. I just fucked your brains out, okay… learn to share; Y/N is standing right there if you maybe want to…”

“You’re disgusting, Jeong Jaehyun. I can’t believe I actually liked you”, tears began forming in the girl’s eyes.

“Gee, listen, I’m sorry Rochelle…”

“IT’S ROSÉ YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!” And with that, the blonde spun around and stomped towards the door. She struggled with it for a second before flinging it open and storming out.

“How rude. She didn’t even close the door”, Jaehyun mused, “Sorry you had to see that, darling”.

“You’re disgusting”, I mirrored Rosé’s words. Jaehyun brought his hand up to his chest in fake hurt.

“I thought we were cool now”, he pouted. I rolled my eyes before falling back onto the large black sofa in the middle of the living room. I took my phone out of my pocket and began texting Taeyong. I heard Jaehyun’s footsteps coming towards me but I ignored them in an effort to remain calm and stop myself from attacking him. That Rosé girl clearly had very real feelings for him and he used that to his advantage then discarded her like a used tissue. “I said I was sorry about the balloons, okay?” he sighed as he took a seat next to me.

“No, not okay, Jaehyun. You, Ten and Yuta are such dicks”, I finally replied after realising that Taeyong would not be responding to my text for a while. Jaehyun looked at me, confused.

“I get why I’m a dick. But what did those two idiots do to piss you off?”

“The same thing you did”, I shot back.

“Babe, how many times have you been attacked by bath bomb infested water balloons this summer?” he laughed. I didn’t need to ask what he meant because I understood. Yuta and Ten hadn’t been there. “If you want, I can get Jisung, Jaemin and Jeno to write official apologies and we can get up at dinner tonight and read out our letters and cry and…” He continued with his sarcastic train of thought as I suddenly realised that I had spent the last five days angry at the wrong people. The three little Js, as everyone stupidly referred to them as, were boys from the lower year of our school who occasionally carried out Yuta, Jaehyun, Ten, Taeyong, and Xiaojun’s dirty work in order to impress them; I guess they hoped that by the time the older boys graduated, they’d become the new fuck-boy clique that got all the girls and was envied by all the guys. I felt disgusted that I lived in a world where young boys aspired to be like…

“Jaehyun. Shut up. I’m over it”, I snapped. At that moment, I realised that I could use this opportunity to confirm what my heart already feared to be true. “I forgive you, the Js and Tae”, I said. I waited for Jaehyun’s face to twist in confusion and for him to ask me why I’d mentioned Taeyong but he simply smiled and nodded. I suddenly felt so stupid. I’d let Taeyong manipulate me for these last few days and turn me against Yuta and Ten… but to what end? What was he getting out of this?

An hour passed and I was thankful that Jaehyun’s fuck-boy façade had faded after about 10 minutes. As much as he liked to believe he was this heartless playboy, and as much as he liked to make others believe it too, he was actually a very decent guy. Some would go as far as to say that he was actually… cool; and not in the school popularity way, in a genuine and fun-to-be-around way. I still had to deal with the occasional pervy comment every now and again though. But he helped me forget about the mess that I would have to deal with later that night; I needed to confront Taeyong and apologise to Yuta and Ten.

“What are you thinking about?” Jaehyun whispered. My head was rested on his shoulder and his head was rested on my head as we watched TV.

“I’m thinking… how are you this bearable when I normally want to punch you in the teeth?” I chuckled. Jaehyun laughed along.

“Don’t go around telling girls I’m bearable! You’ll fuck up my street cred”, he simply replied before we settled back into a comfortable silence.

This time dinner was held outside. I’d quickly run to my suite, changed and redone my makeup when I got a call from Jessica telling us that they were heading to dinner. My father would not have appreciated me showing up in a swimsuit cover up. The dinner location was stunning; it was next to the lake and the trees were covered in dozens of fairy lights. White tables and chairs were carefully placed across the grass, and live classical music filled the space. I immediately started looking for either one of the boys I needed to talk to tonight and as luck would have it, I spotted Ten sitting on a chair by the lake looking down at his phone. I quickly grabbed my own chair and made my way towards him, startling him a little when I took a seat beside him.

“Fucking hell”, he gasped.

“Sorry, I thought you’d see me coming. Isn’t seeing stuff your super power or something?” I laughed. Ten shot me a dazzling smile before he looked back down at his phone.

“Does this mean I’ve been forgiven for what I may or may not have done?”, he suddenly said. I knew he had realised that I’d worked out the truth and was trying to apologise. He wasn’t going to let this be easy, was he?

“I don’t know what Tae wants from me but yeah, I’m sorry. I was… I am being played and I didn’t want to believe it because of my stupid crush”, I sighed, “You have to admit it looked so suspicious though! You and Yuta wouldn’t tell me where you were on that night and you’d both spent all week together throwing me dagger eyes”. Ten observed me for a moment.

“You’re right. It was all a bit shady” he pondered.

“So I’m guessing you’re not head over heels in love with me like Tae said?” I could feel my heart pounding as I waited for an answer but Ten simply burst out into laughter. I looked over at him and saw him struggling not to fall out of his chair as he continued cackling. Eventually, his laughter died down and he wiped the tears that had escaped from his eyes.

“Sorry but that’s hilarious”, he stifled a giggle.

“Glad to know being attracted to me is that funny”, I made no effort to hide my hurt.

“Shit, sorry. I’m guessing Tae failed to mention to you that I am 100% gay?” he smiled at me. My heart stopped. Suddenly, things started coming together. I’d never seen or heard of any of his relationships with girls but I assumed that he was just more private than his friends. I remembered him telling me that he was looking at that girl ‘just for fun’ the first time our families went to dinner but I’d assumed he meant that he wasn’t interested in her specifically. He did spend a lot of time with Yuta and they had failed to tell me where they were the night I was hurt. Was he… was he…?

“Are you dating Yuta?” I suddenly shouted out loud. Ten’s eyes widened and he turned to face me. We stared at each other for a few seconds before he started howling with laughter yet again. This time, he failed to restrain himself and ended up slipping out of his chair, unable to control his breathing.

“Stop! You’re killing me”, he managed to choke out, “Yuta? Me and Yu… Oh my gosh, this is too good”. I sat in my chair, completely unimpressed by the entire situation. Why was he laughing at me?

“If you’re not secretly dating him, then where were the two of you that night?” I snapped. Ten had managed to regain composure and had found his way back into his seat, still wiping away at his tears.

“I don’t know about Yuta because I wasn’t with him but I… Okay, promise not to tell Yuta but… I went to visit my ex. I made Yuta promise not to let me see him again but I caved that night and drove out to meet him in town. Tae must have found out through Jeno or something, that kid is a super spy, and he knew I wouldn’t say anything in front of Yuta when he asked so I’d look pretty guilty. God knows what he has on Yuta. Dude, I can’t believe you thought I was dating Yuta. You two had a thing; you know he’s straight”.

“Sexuality is a spectrum”, I defended myself. Ten gave me a small shrug before looking out at the lake.

“Wow, Tae really has us playing into his hands, doesn’t he?”

“Why are you friends with him?” I asked the question that had been plaguing my mind all this time.

“Jae and Tae get on well because they both run on sex. I already told you that Tae and I are super similar so we just click. Tae and Yuta argue a lot because they both have ‘alpha male tendencies’ but they have this inseparable bond. Tae and Xiaojun have been friends for a very long time. They get on extremely well. I guess Tae is that one friend who is super annoying and starts shit all the time but the good outweighs the bad, you know. And to be honest, we usually don’t care about his schemes because they’re usually directed towards people we don’t really know or care about”, Ten mused. I sat there and thought about how strange this group’s dynamic was but apparently it worked. “What are you going to do now? Don’t think I haven’t noticed you running around with Tae”.

“I want to beat him at his own game”, I thought aloud.

“Good luck with that. Tae isn’t stupid. If you try and flip this around on him, he’ll see it from a mile away and manipulate the situation so that you end up worse off”, Ten warned me.

“I can handle him. I just need to get inside of his head”.

“Okay, so if I ask you right now what Tae is trying to get from you, can you tell me? It’s obviously not sex because no offence but if he wanted you, he would have had you by now… many times”, Ten looked at me apologetically but he had a point.

“I don’t know what he wants”, I sighed, defeated. I thought back to the information I had garnered and tried to figure out what he wanted.

I told you she was off limits.

Tae and Yuta argue a lot because they both have ‘alpha male tendencies’.

And then it hit me. Tae wasn’t trying to get anything from me. He was using me to get something from Yuta.

four

“I can’t believe you’re not even coming anymore! I spent all my time here counting down till the day you get here and now you’re telling me that you’re just staying in Dubai?” I yelled at Sana’s sun kissed face through my FaceTime app. I shot up from the comfort of my blankets and waited for her excuse.

“Y/N, I’m sorry! My dad surprised the step-bitch with a trip to Hawaii and so they’re going to be off doing God-knows-what for the rest of the summer. I can’t exactly show up to a family country club resort alone”, she pouted.

“You can stay with my family!” I almost shouted. Sana let out a sigh as she readjusted the angle so that I was now looking at the sunset from her hotel window.

“This is my view right now! I just want to chill here for as long as I can. The country club sounds so dramatic right now. I heard from Rosé that you’ve been hanging out with Jaehyun for the past couple of days. She says she saw you in his hotel room once and she’s seen you guys walking around together, eating ice cream and all that. Y/N? Is there something you want to tell me?” Sana had now readjusted the camera onto herself and she smirked at my shocked expression.

“No, I am not dating Jaehyun… He’s just been helping me with a plan to get back at Tae. I asked Ten to help but he said he didn’t want to get involved, especially with the losing team. He’s so sure Taeyong is already one step ahead of me. He’s so disrespectful!” I huffed.

“Hey, don’t say that about my future husband!” Sana scolded me. It had taken all my self-control not to tell Sana that Ten was actually gay. It wasn’t some big secret or anything, Ten hadn’t really hesitated to tell me, but it also wasn’t my job to go around announcing it to people who didn’t already know. I loved Sana but she was such a gossip; if I told her, she’d needlessly blow it out of proportion.

“Whatever. At least Jaehyun has been a big help. We’ve come up with a plan. It’s simple but effective. He wasn’t hard to convince; he was bored so…”

“He’s a billionaire with unlimited access to anything and any girl… He can’t get bored; it sounds like he just really likes spending time with you”, Sana wiggled her eyebrows. I rolled my eyes at her statement. “So, what is this masterplan?”

“Taeyong is using me to get something from Yuta but I don’t really understand what he could possibly want. I haven’t seen Yuta since I accused him of the water balloon thing so I can’t even ask and I’m pretty sure he blocked my number because he’s not responding to any of my texts. Jaehyun hasn’t seen him either and apparently every time he calls, Yuta always says he’s busy. Taeyong hasn’t talked to him either so his plan must not be working because how do you get something from someone if they’re not there?” Sana nodded along eagerly at my ramblings, “The plan is to step up the game. Tae must be getting desperate for Yuta’s attention so I’m going to make him think I want to sleep with him then when he comes into my room, I’ll tell him I’m going to get something and that I’ll be back. Then when I leave, he’ll get naked and Jaehyun will be in the room already with a camera, he’ll take a picture, and we’ll basically own Tae because we’ll have his nudes. Then we’ll make him confess everything”. I smiled proudly at my scheme.

“That is the single most ridiculous, convoluted, barely R-rated High School Musical bullshit plan I have ever heard in my entire existence”, Sana snorted, “No wonder Ten called you the losing team. That sounds like the plot of a Gossip Girl episode. It took you three days of talking to Jaehyun to come up with that?”

“Shut up! It was my idea and Jaehyun is just going along with it”, I pouted.

“Damn, that boy must be in love with you if he’s going along with this rejected Teen Wolf storyline”, Sana’s laughs continued to fill my room.

“You’re such a bitch”, I sulked, trying to hide my own smile. I had to admit, it wasn’t one of my finest plans. “I have to go now. I have an awesome plan to carry out”.

“Oh, you have second plan?” Sana cackled as I hung up on her. I laughed to myself as the room fell silent. Ten had told me that going against Taeyong was dangerous and that I would end up worse off so was this really the plan I wanted to go with?

“Sana is right. It is a shit plan”, Jaehyun simply said as we walked towards the pool.

“So why were you going to help me carry it out?” I cried as I playfully hit his arm. He stumbled back in fake agony as I rolled my eyes and tried not to laugh at his childishness.

“Because either way, it’s going to be fucking hilarious. I’m on both sides here, babe. Tae is my boy and you… you’re hot”, he smirked, snaking his hand around my waist. I quickly pushed him off and started walking faster.

“I can’t have someone who is on both teams. You might double cross me. I assume that in your twisted mind, Tae takes priority?”

“Bros before hoes”, Jaehyun shrugged. I had to admire his loyalty, I guess.

“Why are you even helping me then?” I finally decided to ask.

“Like I said, you’re hot”

“There are girls around here who are fifty times hotter than me that you could be… entertaining”

“You’re a different kind of hot”, Jaehyun simply smirked as he looked down at me. As I was about to ask what he meant, I heard Taeyong’s voice calling my name. Jaehyun and I both stopped and turned as we saw Taeyong running toward us.

“Hey baby”, Taeyong smiled as he finally reached us. He pulled me by the waist and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Jaehyun shifted uncomfortably as he watched the scene unfold in front of him. Taeyong must have noticed the shift in atmosphere too because he suddenly let go of me and looked between Jaehyun and I.

“Was I interrupting something?” Taeyong asked almost mockingly. He looked at Jaehyun, then back at me again before slowly nodding his head, “My bad. I’ll catch you tonight at Mark’s party, right?” he looked over at me. I gave him a forced smile and nodded.

“I’ll see you then”, I said, my voice barely a whisper.

“Hey, and I heard Yuta will be there!” Taeyong beamed. He turned his head to Jaehyun, “Me, you and Yuta seem to have a lot of catching up to do”. Jaehyun clenched his jaw and kept his eyes trained on Taeyong.

“I don’t think so. Nothing much has really happened lately”, Jaehyun shot back.

“Well then let’s change that tonight”, Taeyong smirked. He turned back to me and pushed his lips onto my own. I almost stumbled back but Taeyong’s arm snaked around my waist once more as he pulled me closer. He slid his tongue into my mouth and I stupidly let him. After a few seconds, Taeyong finally pulled away with his signature smirk plastered on his face. He turned to Jaehyun and winked before turning around and walking back in the direction he had come from.

“Are you sure you want revenge because from where I’m standing, you’re pretty happy being his play toy”, Jaehyun scoffed. I adjusted my dress, embarrassed.

“I can’t let him know I’m onto him”, I tried to justify my actions. Jaehyun let out a chuckle.

“He knew something was up from the second he saw us together… You know what, you’re boring me now. I’m gonna go find one of those girls who is fifty times hotter than you to entertain me”. And with that, Jaehyun turned around and started walking back in the direction Taeyong had gone. I stood there, confused by what had just happened. As I was about to follow Jaehyun, I heard a clap from behind me. I turned to see a smiling Rosé walking slowly towards me, applauding.

“I never thought I’d see the day Jaehyun got a taste of his own medicine”, she smiled.

“What do you mean?” I asked her.

“You just made out with Taeyong in front of him. I could practically see the jealousy bubbling up from all the way down there”, she threw her head back in laughter, “I should be more upset at you for stealing the guy I like but after the way he has treated me, I’m happy the universe is punishing him… even if that means I have to permanently lose him to you”, her smile faded a little.

“Oh no, it’s not like that. He was just helping with something”

“When was the last time you saw Jaehyun just ‘helping’ some girl with no ulterior motive?” Rosé rolled her eyes, “How do you do it? You managed to get Ten to actually fucking look at you for longer than he looks at that damn phone, you’ve got Taeyong making out with you and taking you on dates, you’ve got Jae crushing on you, and I even heard rumours that you and Yuta were a thing. Are you just working your way through the group? If so, let me just tell you, Xiaojun is a phenomenal fuck. I hooked up with him last year and to this day, he is still the best sex I’ve ever had. Don’t tell Jaehyun”, she laughed as she began walking away. I was left standing in the middle of the sidewalk again, alone and perplexed.

I sat on the sofa in our living room as I scrolled through Instagram. There were already a shit ton of stories from Mark’s party being posted. The party had only started about an hour ago but people had already blown up all of their social media, telling everyone what a good time they were having. After what Rosé had said to me, I’d realised that this was all getting too messy. This wasn’t just some summer drama; once we got back to our normal lives, I’d still have to deal with these boys on a somewhat regular basis. As I sat there in my tank top and pyjama bottoms, ignoring Taeyong’s texts, my phone vibrated yet again.

Unknown: Hey. It’s Yuta.

I immediately replied.

Y/N: Why the new number?

Unknown: I have more than one phone you know.

Y/N: What do you want? You blocked me on the other one?

Unknown: Yeah, sorry about that. Why aren’t you at Mark’s thing?

I looked at the message for a moment and contemplated what I could say. It then dawned on me that I was trapped in this stupid cycle of lies and manipulation. Why would Yuta contact me from a completely different number instead of just unblocking me on his other phone? Come to think of it, when we used to be whatever we were, I only ever saw him with one phone. I was tired of the games so I simply replied.

Y/N: Is this really Yuta?

The reply piqued my curiosity.

Unknown: Come to the party and find out ;)

By the time I arrived at Mark Lee’s suite, it was practically overflowing with people and some party goers had started drinking and hanging out in the corridors. It took me approximately ten minutes to actually get into the suite itself, and even then, it was so packed it took me an additional five minutes to get to the kitchen. As I reached the counter which was covered in drinks, my phone buzzed again.

Unknown: You actually came. You must still really be into me.

I rolled my eyes and replied.

Y/N: I still don’t know who I’m talking to. Taeyong, if this is you, I’m done with your games.

I pressed ‘send’ only to look up and immediately regret my decision. Taeyong’s frame made its way through the crowd. He spotted me, smiled and started making his way towards me. I looked back down at my vibrating phone.

Unknown: This isn’t Taeyong. I told you it’s Yuta.

I looked up again and saw Taeyong getting closer, no phone in his hand.

“I was scared you wouldn’t make it”, Taeyong shouted over the music as he finally reached me.

“Here I am!” I yelled back. He smiled at me and leaned in closer to my ear.

“I just wanted to say that I think I’m done”. I looked up at him, confused.

“Done with the party? It only started an hour and a half ago”, I was getting tired of straining my voice.

“No, babe, done with this”, he motioned between us, “You obviously aren’t as oblivious as I thought”. Wait, he was shutting this down? If anything, I was the one who should have been getting to dump him. Even though we weren’t dating, I wanted the satisfaction of breaking it off. I found myself sighing with relief anyway, glad it was all finally over. I was going to be on the next flight to Dubai tomorrow morning no matter what my father had to say. This place was suffocating me.

“Whatever. Bye Tae”, I turned to leave but turned back to ask one final question, “What were you actually trying to achieve here?” Taeyong simply smiled and looked around the room. He leaned into my ear once again.

“You’ll find out in a bit. I still need you for one more thing. Jaehyun asked me not to hurt you but I’m already doing him the favour of leaving you alone”, he simply said. I stood there, perplexed.

“I refuse to be part of any more of this silliness”. And with that, I turned to leave. As I reached the entrance, I checked my phone for any texts from Yuta I may have missed.

Unknown: Come to the room with the white door. I need to talk to you, Y/N.

I still needed to apologize for not believing him about the water balloons. I also now wanted to make sure we were in a good place. I missed him more than I liked to admit. When we weren’t too busy fucking, we actually had a great time together… secretly of course. Sneaky movie dates, spending time at each other’s houses, and even going on long drives out of town just so we could talk; I missed our relationship which wasn’t really a relationship. I wouldn’t admit this to anyone but Yuta was my first love and I wished my stupid crush on Taeyong hadn’t made me ruin what we were… what we could have been.

Y/N: I’m on my way.

I turned around yet again and pushed my way through a dark corridor, towards the white door which was decorated with a sign that read ‘DO NOT ENTER’. Looking around for any other possible options, I realised that this had to be the door Yuta was talking about. I twisted the door knob and attempted to push it open but it must have been barricaded from the inside. I attempted again to open it. Again. Again. Once more. Suddenly, the door flung open.

“Can’t you read, you fucking…?” Yuta stood before me shirtless and with his hair dishevelled. His eyes instantly widened as he saw me. It took less that a second for a gorgeous red headed girl to appear behind him in nothing but a bra and panties. She held onto his arm and looked over at me before attempting to hide her almost-naked body, embarrassed. “Y/N…”

“Is this what you wanted to show me?” I could feel the tears threatening to fall from my eyes. In reality, I had no reason to be this upset. But after finally admitting to myself that I loved Yuta, it hurt to see him with someone else. Even though I knew he’d been sleeping around. I guess seeing it with my own eyes hurt more than I anticipated.

“What are you talking about?” Yuta looked down at me. By the looks of it, Yuta had been a little too preoccupied to have been the one texting me. I could think of nothing but to run away so I did. I pushed my way through crowds of people yet again and made it to the entrance. I turned to look back and see if Yuta had made an attempt to follow me but he hadn’t. Before I turned to leave, I did however notice the big smile on Taeyong’s face as he watched me.

five

I knew I was being ridiculous.

It was 4AM in the morning and after crying in my room for what felt like forever, I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and just pack my bags. I didn’t know where I was going but I just knew that I didn’t want to be here anymore. I didn’t want to go to Dubai and ruin Sana’s drama free break, and I didn’t want to go back home because that would just remind me that when the summer comes to an end, I have to go back to school and confront… him. At this point I didn’t even know who ‘him’ was. I didn’t want to confront Taeyong because I could already see his smug grin mocking me. I didn’t want to confront Jaehyun because he was mad at me for some strange reason. And I most definitely didn’t want to confront Yuta after seeing him with another girl. Again, I knew I was being ridiculous. I was mad at Yuta for sleeping with someone else when we weren’t dating? Yeah, that’s insane.

I threw the last dress into my suitcase and hastily zipped it up. I’d made the bed and emptied the wardrobe; I was ready to leave. I wanted to go before my dad or Jessica woke up so that I wouldn’t have to deal with that mess. I took one last look in the mirror; my makeup was smudged and my hair was… I don’t even know what my hair was doing, but I didn’t care. I grabbed my suitcase handle and made my way into the living room. I quickly realised that dragging my suitcase on a hardwood floor wasn’t exactly the stealthiest escape plan so I ended up lifting the heavy case and waddling to the door.

“We’re almost there, doll”, the taxi driver looked at me through the rear view mirror. I had anxiously been fidgeting with the watch on my wrist, and the loose string from my jeans… and the handle of my bag… and my hair. He had obviously sensed my negative energy and felt the need to reassure me that I was almost at the airport. Little did he know that his statement only made things worse. The closer I got to the airport, the quicker I’d have to make a decision about where exactly I was going. I grabbed my phone from my bag; I hadn’t looked at it since I left Mark’s party. I had 3 new messages. One was from my service provider telling me about the ‘exciting new offers’ they would give me if I introduced a friend. The other was from Jaehyun.

JJ: Hey. Sorry about what happened earlier. I let Tae get the best of me. I also got sucked up in this fight for your heart and somehow managed to convince myself I liked you too. You’re fucking cool and we’d be great friends but I don’t think my feelings are that deep… Anyway, I told Tae to leave you alone and not hurt you so you’re in the clear now ;) Erm, also I saw you talking to Rosé after I left… Is she still mad at me? :’(

I laughed at his message but still felt annoyed by his attitude towards me earlier so I simply texted back.

Y/N: She said Xiaojun is a phenomenal fuck.

I felt petty but I knew he’d see the humour in it… eventually, and we could laugh about it… eventually. I really did want to be his friend. If there is one thing I’d learned this summer, it’s that Jeong Jaehyun was alright. I hoped he’d clean up his act and apologise to Rosé. I moved on to my final message. It was from Ten.

TenOutOfTen: Dude, what did you do to Yuta? He’s in my room practically crying?! I hope you burn in hell for indirectly making me wake up so early… bitch.

Again, I laughed at the text but my laughter soon faded when I re-read the first half of the message. Yuta was in Ten’s room, crying. And he must have mentioned me because Ten had asked me what I had done. I checked the timestamp on the message; it was sent 50 minutes ago. My curiosity had me wanting to tell the taxi driver to turn back immediately but just as I was considering this option, the taxi pulled up to the airport. It was large and bright yet startlingly quiet. I hopped out of the vehicle and paid my driver.

“Keep the change”, I smiled as I adjusted my bag and began walking away.

“Keep the change? Oooh, splashing the cash, are we?” I heard a voice laugh. I turned back to the taxi rank and saw a figure sitting on his suitcase. I didn’t immediately recognise his voice but as he turned his head back to me and I saw his face, I rolled my eyes. Xiaojun.

“What are you doing here? I heard you were volunteering or something like that”, I dragged my bag back towards him. He stood from his perched position and suddenly towered over me.

“I finished my volunteer stuff. It was fun but Taeyong’s texts told me that the real fun was at the country club. I came to see the drama is real life but it looks like the female lead is leaving before curtain call?” Xiaojun smirked.

“You left your volunteer position to come watch some petty feud between Yuta and Tae? I thought you were the more decent of the fuckboys”, I let out an exaggerated pout.

“Don’t flatter yourselves. The programme was a short one; I’m going to the club because my parents need me to complete their ‘happy family’ set up”, Xiaojun explained, “The petty feud between Yuta and Tae was just a nice little treat”.

“Well I hate to break it to you but it’s all over now”, I was about to turn around when Xiaojun chuckled.

“Over? According to Jaemin’s texts, you walked in on Yuta and Umji. Tae confronted Yuta about fucking his ex. And now Umji has broken up with Yuta because she doesn’t want to be part of their ‘sick little dick measuring contest’” Xiaojun turned around and looked down the road, “Why the fuck is my Uber taking so long? I can’t stand getting into taxis I didn’t order. It’s creepy as fuck; the dude could be some insane looney who bought his taxi sign on eBay and you just get in his fake taxi and…”

“Wait a minute…”, the cogs were turning in your head and you were finally starting to see the bigger picture. “Yuta was secretly dating Umji, Tae’s ex, so Tae started messing with me as a warning for Yuta to back off?”

“Basically, yes. Jeno accidentally told Tae that he had seen Umji leaving Yuta’s house one morning when he’d gone over. Tae and Yuta are idiots who never talk shit through so instead of Tae asking Yuta to stop seeing Umji, Tae decided to pretend he didn’t know and try to get Yuta to admit it himself. Yuta played dumb so Tae got pissed and decided to give him a taste of his medicine by targeting the one girl he knows Yuta gives a shit about”, Xiaojun pointed to me.

“Why was Yuta dating Umji anyway?” my jealously was getting the better of me, “When Yuta and I were… He told me he couldn’t stand her”.

“Ego. It’s all about ego when it comes to Dumb and Dumber. Even though you refer to us so lovingly as ‘fuckboys’, we do have our weaknesses. Tae’s is Umji and Yuta’s is you. We all know each other’s weaknesses and they instantly become off limits but after Tae and Yuta had yet another alpha male standoff, Yuta hooked up with Umji because he wanted to prove to himself that he was better than Tae. Umji was the first girl who ever really properly distracted from you so I guess he kept her around… I don’t know”, Xiaojun threw his glance down the road yet again but there was nothing in sight.

“You know you can track your Uber on the app. It tells you how far it is?” I simply stated.

Xiaojun raised his eyebrows and looked back down at his phone. “This is my first time using this. I usually have the family’s driver take me everywhere but I didn’t want to wake him so early”, he tapped at his phone, “It’s close”. We stood there in an uncomfortable silence before I decided to turn around and leave; I finally had the whole story. “Why are you leaving?”

“Why not? Your idiot friends have been using me as a prop in their game and I’m tired”, I sighed.

“It’s all over now though, right? Umji and Yuta are over. Him and Tae are pissed at each other but they’ll hug it out in a few days. Everything is chill”, at that moment, Xiaojun’s phone beeped and he looked down to read his text, “Maybe not…”

“What is it now? Did Umji reveal that she was pregnant? Did Jaehyun propose to Rosé? Did Yuta and Tae finally admit their feelings for each other and finally make it official? At this rate, nothing would surprise me”, I chuckled humourlessly. As I said this, Xiaojun’s Uber pulled up in front of us.

“You might want to get in and come back with me, babe”.

“And why would I do that?” I laughed.

“I just got a text from Ten and…” My own phone suddenly vibrated in my hands. I looked down and couldn’t understand what I was reading.

TenOutOfTen: Your idiot ex got drunk and fell off a roof. He’s at the General Hospital downtown!

six

Five years earlier

It was just my luck that the day my father had told me he couldn’t pick me up from school, it just so happened to start pouring down with rain. I usually had a driver who would come get me but my mother had asked my dad to do it for a month in an effort to ‘improve our relationship’. My father hadn’t been too fond of that idea but he did it anyway. He probably did it out of guilt; my mother was growing suspicious of his ‘innocent friendship’ with a new employee at his company, Jessica. I’d met her once and she seemed lovely. My mother was probably just being paranoid. Anyway, my father had promised to tell the driver to pick me up instead but he’d obviously forgotten as I ended up standing outside the school doors for 45 minutes.

“Are you okay, darling?” a voice rang from the bottom of the stairwell. A woman with beautiful long black hair had stepped out of her car and was staring at me, a wet, crying teenager at the top of the stairs, freezing my butt off. “Where are your parents?” she asked.

“I don’t t-thing anyone is c-coming”, I stuttered. She gave me a sympathetic smile and asked where I lived. I told her.

“Oh, you’re Y/N, right? We live just three houses away from you; we moved in last month. I met your mother at brunch a few weeks back and she told me she had a daughter but you couldn’t make it because of tennis practice”, she beamed at me.

“Oh”, was all I could say. This had all been true. I’d skipped brunch a few weeks back in favour of playing tennis with this girl I’d met a few months ago called Sana. She was very sweet and I knew we’d become good friends.

“I hope you don’t find this odd but… if you need a ride, I can take you home. I’m actually here to pick up my son Yuta; he should be finishing lacrosse try-outs in a few minutes. Maybe you know him, he’s your age so he could be in some of your classes!” I shook my head. I didn’t know him.

“But if it’s alright, I’d really like a ride back home, ma’am”, I sniffled. The woman smiled sympathetically and nodded, walking over to her car and opening one of the back doors. I strongly considered the fact that I might be getting kidnapped and that this Yuta kid didn’t actually exist but I was too cold and wet to care. Plus, maybe if I went missing, my dad would feel super guilty and actually care about me for a minute. I made my way down the stairs and into the woman’s car. She closed the door and walked over to the driver’s side, slipping herself into the seat. She drummed her fingers on the steering wheel as we sat there in silence for about 3 minutes. Suddenly, the passenger door swung open and someone took that seat. I couldn’t see their face properly but I could I could see their black, rain-soaked hair.

“Yuta, this is Y/N. She lives a few houses down from ours”, his mother turned in her seat to point at me. Yuta slowly turned his head and shifted his body so that he could see me clearly. He was beautiful. How had I not noticed him before? My eyes scanned his face at least ten times, my gaze lingering on his pink lips, before either one of us finally spoke.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N”, he smiled, “I’m Yuta”.

Present day

Xiaojun held me close as I cried into his coat. The Uber ride felt never ending. Xiaojun hadn’t said anything since I’d started sobbing after I read the text. He’d simply just walked over to me a hugged me, held me for a minute, then ushered me into the car. I knew this wasn’t entirely my fault but I had definitely played my part. If anything happened to Yuta, I would never forgive myself. I finally pulled away from Xiaojun and looked down at my phone. There were no new messages. I don’t know what I was expecting; maybe I wanted to look down and find a text that read ‘just kidding’ followed by an eggplant emoji and a winking face. I could handle this being some sick twisted joke better than I could handle Yuta actually being critically hurt.

“We’re here”, Xiaojun’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. I immediately opened the door and sped towards the hospital entrance. As I ran towards the building, I could make out two figures walking out; Taeyong and Jaehyun. They both looked distraught, Taeyong more so than Jaehyun. It was probably the guilt eating away at him. Jaehyun saw me and immediately called my name. I ran over to them and into Jaehyun’s arms.

“What’s happening, Jaehyun?” I tried to control my sobs.

“It’s alright, babe, he’s in surgery right now so there’s no more information we can get until after it’s over”, he whispered. We both stood there in our embrace for a while before we pulled away. I looked over at Taeyong who stared back with red, apologetic eyes. He was hurting, maybe even more than me, but I was too upset to care. I wanted to hit him, to slap him across the face and tell him this was all his fault. I wanted to tell him that if anything happened to Yuta, he would have to live with it for the rest of his life. He would have to understand that he caused all of this because of his stupid ego. But as I looked at him and saw the broken boy staring back, I realised that he already knew.

“I’m so sorry”, he simply said before turning away and walking towards an already waiting car.

“I should probably go with him. If you want to, you can come with us. Nothing is going to happen for the next couple of hours”, Jaehyun sighed. I vigorously shook my head.

“No, no, I want to be here. I want to be right here. Nowhere else”, I protested. Jaehyun nodded as a small smile appear on his face.

“Your guys have one fucked up love story, huh? I’d love to hear it one day”. And with that, he followed in Taeyong’s footsteps.

“Jaehyun, can you please take my suitcase back to the club. It’s over there with Xiaojun”, I smiled weakly. Jaehyun gave me a small nod and made his way to Xiaojun who was struggling with both mine and his suitcases.

“Y/N! Thank God, you’re here!” I heard as soon as I walked into the hospital waiting room. It was Yuta’s mother.

“Mrs Nakamoto”, I called as I ran into her arms. We held each other tightly and I found myself sighing with relief. She was probably the only person who truly knew the extent of my relationship with Yuta, well, apart from the hooking up. She knew how much he truly meant to me, despite the aloof demeanour I treated him with over the years.

“He’ll be alright! Don’t worry; I’ve prayed and I’ve prayed. He’ll be alright”, Mrs Nakamoto comforted me as she pulled away from our hug. “The injuries aren’t as bad as I thought they’d be. He probably broke a few things but his head wasn’t hurt that much so there is no possibility of anything more than a concussion”. A sigh of relief escaped my lips once again. I finally took the time to look around the small white room. Apart from myself and Mrs Nakamoto, the only other person in the room was Ten who was sleeping on the dark blue sofa near the vending machine.

“Why didn’t he go back to the country club with Tae and Jaehyun?” I asked.

“Jaehyun didn’t think it would be a good idea for Taeyong and Ten to be in the same car together. Ten is pretty furious at Taeyong. He said he was going to leave in a different car but then he fell asleep soon after. I wish I had a blanket for him”, explained Mrs Nakamoto. I look over at Ten one more time and smiled at his small figure, curled in a little ball as soft snores filled the room. “What happened, Y/N? Why did my baby try to kill himself?” I looked back at Mrs Nakamoto whose eyes were now filling with tears.

“Oh no! He didn’t try to kill himself. He was just being drunk and dramatic. Don’t worry, Mrs Nakamoto, he’s not suicidal”, I offered her small smile.

“I really hope you’re right… God, I’ve missed you. You never come by the house anymore”, Mrs Nakamoto sighed as she took a seat; I went and sat next to her.

“I know. I’m sorry”.

We sat in a comfortable silence for about ten minutes before the waiting room doors swung open and I turned to see the last person I wanted here tonight. Umji.

Three years earlier

“I’m not going to tell you”, I screamed through my laughter as Yuta tickled me. I tried to push him off of me in an attempt to escaped his grasp but he was too strong. I could feel myself edging towards the side of the bed so I decided to give in before we both fell onto the floor of Yuta’s bedroom. “Fine, fine, I’ll tell you!”.

Yuta immediately stopped his attack on my body, and he sat up at the foot of his bed. He looked over at me expectedly. “I don’t understand why you’re being so difficult. I know all the date-worthy guys at school. I could set you up with anyone”.

“I don’t have a crush though. I just think there are some cute guys”, I explained.

“Like?”

“Jaehyun”

“He’s such a player!”

“He’s cute! Okay, Taeyong”

“Even worse!”

“What? Okay, fine. Xiaojun”

“Better but still not good enough for you”

“Why do you hang out with them if they’re such bad guys?” I laughed.

“I’m a bad guy too”, Yuta shrugged, a smirk playing on his lips. I wished I could argue against this point but deep down I knew that he was right; I just chose to ignore his cocky rich boy side. “Choose someone outside of my friendship circle. And stop checking out my friends!”

“Hmmm, what about Ten?”

“I SAID SOMEONE OUTSIDE MY FRIENDSHIP CIRCLE, YOU IDIOT! Plus, that would never happen, trust me”

“Why not?”

“Just choose someone else!”

“Mingyu”. I’d seen him playing lacrosse when I went to watch Yuta and I remember thinking he was one of the most gorgeous boys I’d ever seen.

“Oh. Yeah, he’s cool, I guess. I could get him to ask you out”, Yuta mused. I tried to hide my excitement.

“What about you? Who do you like?” I found myself suddenly curious.

“No one in particular. Who do you think I’d look good with?” Yuta crawled across the bed so that he was now sitting next to me, our heads both resting on the headboard.

“You’d look good with… Sakura, or maybe Karina, what about Umji?” I analysed all the beautiful girls in our school.

“Hmm… what about Sana?” he asked, turning his head to look at me.

“You can’t like Sana! She’s my closest friend”

“Exactly! That’s how it feels when you say stuff about Xiaojun and Jaehyun and all those guys”, he pouted. I laughed and turned my head to face him. Our faces were close but we were used to invading each other’s personal space.

“Okay, fine. I’ll stay away from your clique of players and you stay away from Sana. I can set you up with Umji and you can set me up with Mingyu”, I smiled.

“No, I can’t stand Umji. She’s so fake, and she lives on drama. She loves starting it, being part of it and talking about it; she pretends she doesn’t but really, she craves being the centre of attention. She’s more Tae’s type”, he laughed and I laughed along with him. “Why are we talking about this again?”

“You said that this is the ages when teenagers start losing their virginity so we should start dating to get the process going”, I whispered against his lips. I hadn’t noticed that our faces had drifted even closer together. It was then I realised that if we didn’t stop, we’d kiss.

“Well, I just realised that things would move a lot quicker if we just skipped all that dating shit and went straight for the sex”. And before I could ask him what he meant his lips were on mine. I had never kissed anyone before and I was sure he hadn’t either so we both moved slowly and cautiously. Yuta pulled me up onto his lap, our lips staying connected. We moved them in sync for some seconds when I felt Yuta’s tongue slip through the small gap of my slightly open lips. It felt strange at first; someone else’s tongue was in my mouth, but I quickly found my own tongue beginning to explore his mouth. I felt his hands slipping under my t-shirt and working their way up to my bra. As he was about to unhook my bra, his bedroom door flung open. I pushed myself off him and innocently looked towards the entrance.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt!” Mrs Nakamoto looked between Yuta and I, flustered. Yuta awkwardly ran his fingers through his hair and jumped off the bed.

“You didn’t interrupt anything”, Yuta mumbled.

“No, I did. I’m sorry. I was just going to say I’m going out for a bit but now I’m not so sure”, Mrs Nakamoto chuckled. “I mean; I knew you guys liked each other but I didn’t know you were secretly doing whatever this is. Maybe I shouldn’t have let you guys have all those sleepovers…” she continued to tease us.

“That was the first time, okay. We were just… testing something”, Yuta walked over to the door and attempted to close it.

“Oh no, no! Just because I like the idea of you two being together, doesn’t mean I’m going to continue letting you hang out in this bedroom with the door closed. I’m too young to be a grandmother! No sex until you get married, guys!” Mrs Nakamoto exclaimed. Yuta groaned, and I simply buried my head into my hands and wished I could disappear.

Present day

“What are you doing here?” I jumped up from my seat and quickly walked over to Umji.

“The same thing you are. I’m here for my boyfriend”, Umji rolled her eyes at me, “Just because we went through a bump in our relationship doesn’t mean I don’t love him and care for his well-being”.

“You didn’t go through a ‘bump’, you broke up. And please don’t say you love him because you don’t and he doesn’t love you”, I spat out. Umji rolled her eyes again and took out her phone. She unlocked it and tapped at it until she seemed to find what she was looking for. She turned the phone to face me and I looked over the device; it was a picture of a big bouquet of flowers with a card that simply read ‘love Yuta’.

“He had this sent to me on my birthday, along with a custom-made Tiffany necklace. What did he ever do for you? From what I heard, you were a quick fuck when he was bored”, Umji smirked. I could feel my blood boiling at her words but the picture she’d shown me calmed my nerves. I remembered Yuta telling me that flowers and a necklace are…

“Excuse me, sweetheart, but unfortunately the doctor said there can only be a maximum of three guests”, Mrs Nakamoto suddenly chimed in. I turned to face her but her eyes were settled on Umji.

“Then why can’t Y/N leave? I’m his girlfriend”, Umji whined, “And who the hell are you to decide who stays and who goes?”

“I’m his mother”, Mrs Nakamoto retorted, “And from what I hear, you’re no longer his girlfriend… Thank God”. Umji’s eyes suddenly widened as she realised who she had just addressed in such a rude manner.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t know you were his…”

“I think it’s time for you to go, Umji”, I smiled as a flustered Umji tried to formulate an excuse. “And don’t pretend you care about him. If anything you’re probably just here to live tweet the drama for the whole school”. Umji looked over at me ready to say something but then decided against it. Maybe she could tell that I’d been crying and distraught and in no mood for her shit. She simply nodded slightly and turned on her heels to leave. Before she closed the door, she turned to look at me one last time.

“I know he doesn’t love me. And I know that you weren’t just an occasional fuck. Whenever I was with him and you walked by, I could feel all of his attention shifting to you. And you didn’t even have to try”, Umji confessed, a sad smile playing on her lips. She finally closed the door and left you standing in the waiting room.

“Occasional fuck? Hmm, it looks like my no-closed-bedroom-door rule didn’t help much” Mrs Nakamoto suddenly chuckled humourlessly from her seat. I knew that she was very religious and had truly not wanted me to sleep with Yuta outside of wedlock. I sighed as I walked over to her.

“I’m so sorry Mrs Nakamoto. We just… we couldn’t help it”, I looked at her apologetically.

“Hormones are a powerful thing I guess”, she smiled at me. “So when did it happen the first time? Where?”

I groaned and buried my head in my hands like I had when she’d caught Yuta and I making out on his bed.

“Oh come on, I’m just curious”, she laughed.

“This is so weird!” I joined her in her laughter. After a long pause I decided to get it over and done with. “It was about 3 months after you caught is making out in his room… My mother had just found out about my father’s affair with Jessica, she’d packed up her things and left without so much as a goodbye to me. I was distraught and angry. I just wanted to get away from everything so Yuta stole your car, sorry about that, and we drove for hours and hours and just talked. We went to a beach and I cried and cried and we talked some more. After that I felt much better and we decided to head back home. By that time, it was so dark and we were so tired that Yuta decided to take us to your beach house instead, again sorry about that. We watched my favourite film and ate my favourite snacks; I just felt so safe with him. One thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together that night”. I smiled at the memory. It was the first time I truly felt like I was in love with Yuta. I think I’d loved him before but that was the first time I really knew.

“I can’t believe my car and beach house were involved in this”, Mrs Nakamoto joked. I giggled. I wanted to tell her more, it felt good to share.

“After that night, we started… being intimate quite regularly. But as we grew older, Yuta became more and more influenced by his friends. I could no longer ignore the person he was becoming and it killed me. So, we drifted apart but we still…I don’t know, I guess we still loved each other. So it became more a hate-sex kind of thing even though there were times when he’d come over to my house and find me crying because of a fight I had with my dad. I’d expect him to just leave but he surprised me each time by taking me out for a drive and treating me like he did that day”, I took a deep sigh. It wasn’t until Mrs Nakamoto’s fingers were wiping away my tears that I even realised I was crying.

“Your mother loved you more than anything in the world. I hope you know that”, Mrs Nakamoto cooed.

“Then why did she leave without me?” I sobbed.

“Your dad didn’t give her much of a choice…”, Mrs Nakamoto admitted.

“What does that mean?”

“It’s not my responsibility to tell you. Talk to your dad when you get back, okay. Actually, I’m going to call a car for Ten, you should go with him. I’d really like to be alone”.

“I’ll see you back at the club, okay?” Ten gave me a sleepy smile as the car dropped me off at the beach. I smiled back and nodded, getting out of the vehicle.

It was now 7:30AM and I still hadn’t slept. My mind was too chaotic right now. It took less than 2 minutes for me to find the perfect spot in the sand to sit and watch the waves. I thought about every trip to the beach with Yuta. I thought about every heated encounter we had, both sexual and verbal. I thought about how no matter how much we fought and teased each other; we’d always find our way back in each other’s arms. Most importantly, I thought about how we’d never vocally admitted we were in love.

“He’s going to be fine, you know”. I looked up to see Taeyong standing next to me. I quickly got up from the ground and tried turning to walk away. Taeyong grabbed my arm. “Wait! Please!”

“What is it, Tae? You want to apologise? Because that’s not going to fix anything. Yes, he’ll be fine but the fact that it even had to escalate to this level is disgusting”, I spat out, pulling my arm out of his grasp.

“You don’t think I know that?” Taeyong fired back. He frantically ran his fingers through his hair. “Yuta is one of my best friends. But he hurt me. I love Umji so much. Yes, she’s a bit of a bitch sometimes but I love that about her. She’s such a fucking drama queen but I could sit there all day and listen to her talking shit about people I don’t care about…”

“Why are you telling me this?” I suddenly spoke up.

“Because you know what it’s like to ignore all the bad because the good outweighs it. That’s what it was like with Yuta, right? He’s an arrogant dick and he thinks he’s better than most people but you looked over that because you loved him. I’m telling you this because I don’t want you to think I did this for the sake of being malicious. I did it for Umji. You were just an easy target because I knew you had feelings for me; I’m sorry”, Taeyong looked at me apologetically.

“You know… I actually broke things off with Yuta because I wanted to be with you”, I laughed at my own stupid confession. “Goodness knows what I saw in you”.

“I’m hot”, Taeyong flashed me his killer smile. A few weeks ago, I would have fallen to his feet at the sight but now I felt nothing. Okay, not nothing, he was still exceptionally attractive.

“Why do I always fall for such conceited idiots?” I joked.

“Knowing you’re attractive doesn’t make you conceited. That’s just a mind-set sold to us by the beauty industry to make us insecure so we buy their crap”, Taeyong stated almost robotically. And it suddenly reminded me of Ten and how he’d warned me that him and Taeyong were extremely alike. “I don’t understand why you gave up on a guy you love for a guy you were kind of crushing on though”.

“I thought maybe if I moved on, I could forget him. I didn’t want to be in love with him forever. I wanted to be with someone who was always nice to everyone. Not just secretly nice to me. And I didn’t want to just be an occasional fuck”.

“We both know you weren’t an occasional fuck. Yuta talked about you so much without even realising it; ‘Guys, doesn’t Y/N look different today? I think maybe she did something different with her hair… she looks stupid’, ‘Hmm, this candle smells so good. Y/N has one like this… she’s so stupid’, ‘Why was Mingyu flirting with Y/N at lunch today? I thought he was dating someone else… Did you see her giggle? She’s so stupid’” Taeyong’s impression of Yuta coaxed the hardest laugh I’d had in a while. “The guys and I came to the conclusion that calling you stupid was his warped way of saying he loved you”.

“He’s so stupid”, I mumbled, and it was Taeyong’s turn to let out a laugh.

“I really hope this shitty situation at least brings you two together… properly this time”. I smiled at Tae and found myself wishing this shitty situation would bring him together with Umji.

One year earlier

Yuta quickly put his lacrosse shorts back on while I pulled up my panties. There wasn’t much room to move in the janitor’s closet but we’d made it work.

“I hope you realise that was the only time I’ll let you fuck me without a condom”, I scolded.

“I know, I said I’m sorry! You think I want a kid right now? I just ran out, okay, but I really needed you before this game”, Yuta rolled his eyes while he helped me fix my hair.

“You should keep track of all the random girls you sleep with so you can manage your condom supply”, I huffed, “I don’t want kids right now either”.

“I only have sex with you, idiot, we just go through boxes really quickly”, Yuta retorted. I froze as I processed the new information; Yuta only slept with me? He must have felt my suddenly static state because he stopped and looked down at me. “Do you fuck other guys?” His voice was small.

“No! I’m just surprised because I thought for sure I was one of many. I hear girls talking about all the gifts you give them and so I assumed you were wooing them or something”.

“Okay, first of all, who says ‘wooing’? And second of all, I give girls flowers and sometimes jewellery; it’s no big deal when you have money. Flowers and necklaces are basic gifts; you don’t have to think about them and they’re not really that personal. At least not to me. If I really like a girl, I’d buy her something with significance to our relationship, you know”.

“If you don’t sleep with these girls, why do you buy them flowers and all that?” I asked.

“My friends don’t know about us and I’d prefer they didn’t find out so I have to keep up appearances and make it look like I’m trying to get laid”, Yuta shrugged.

“You’re ashamed of me?” I gave him a fake pout. Yuta took a step forward and kissed me softly on the cheek.

“Of course I am. I can’t have people knowing we’re a… thing. I’m awesome and you’re… stupid”, he chuckled. I didn’t take anything personally; we’d both agreed to keep our escapades quiet to avoid drama and complications. “I have to go now. The game starts in 5 minutes and I told Coach I was just going to the bathroom really quickly”.

“Good luck, jerk”.

“Are you coming?”

“No, my dad wants me to have a family dinner with him and Jessica”, I gagged, and Yuta looked at me with sad eyes.

“Oh… well, since you can’t come to my game, you owe me. We can go to the beach tomorrow, yeah?” he smiled. He made it sound like I was doing him a favour because I was missing his game but I could tell that he was doing me a favour because he could tell that I was upset at my father who was trying to replace my mother.

“Fine, I guess I owe you that much… Thanks”, I smiled. Yuta leaned down one more time, this time placing a chaste kiss on my lips.

Present day

I’d been back home for three weeks now and the first day back at school was tomorrow. Summer was officially over. After that day at the beach with Taeyong, we’d gone back to the country club where my father had shouted at me for trying to leave without telling him then proceeded to have a driver take me back home. He didn’t even let me check on Yuta before I left. All updates on Yuta’s condition had being given to me via his mother’s phone calls, and Ten, Jaehyun, Taeyong and Xiaojun’s texts. They told me he was fine and that he hadn’t even broken a single bone, although he still had some damage in his right ankle and had to walk around with crutches. I wanted to talk to him but every time I tried to ask his mother while we were on the phone, I’d chicken out.

“I’ll see him tomorrow at school, Sana!” I groaned as she tried to persuade me to call him, “He still has my number blocked probably so it would be no use”.

“You’re just making excuses! Call him on a different phone. You can’t ignore a guy who practically jumped off a roof because he was distraught about losing you”, Sana whined over the phone.

“I’m not ignoring him. I just want to give him space… And I’m pretty sure he just fell. What time are you getting here anyway?”

“I’m closer than you think”, Sana chirped. Suddenly the doorbell rang.

“Wow, impressive”, I laughed.

“What is?”

“That you’re already at the door”, I said as I made my way to the entrance.

As I pulled open the wooden door, Sana’s voice rang out from the device in my hand, “I’m not at your door…”

I froze in place as I looked at the person staring back at me, mirroring my motionless state. “Yuta…”

“H-hey Y/N”, he stammered, “I was wondering if…” Before he could even finish his sentence, I’d crossed the threshold of my house and thrown myself into him, hugging him tightly. He seemed caught off guard for a second before I felt his arms squeezing around me.

“You’re okay! You’re okay!” I sobbed into his shirt. I’d been told multiple times that he was fine but seeing him here in front of me felt so unbelievably amazing.

“Yeah, I’m okay”, he laughed into my hair. We stood like that for minutes before we heard an awkward cough from behind us.

“Sana! You’re here”, I blurted out. Yuta’s arms fell to his side and I took a step back, separating us. Sana looked between Yuta and I, a knowing smile on her face. She silently walked past Yuta and myself, entering my house and shutting the door. I stood outside my closed house and awkwardly looked up at Yuta; he let out a short laugh while quickly faded back into the silence.

The front door suddenly flew open and Sana quickly snapped a picture on her phone. “Say cheese”, she beamed before slamming the door again.

“Umm, that was… weird. I… I just came here to… to let you know that… I’m not always that dramatic. You know, the whole roof thing. Yeah… I also wanted to apologise for…”

“I love you”, the words sped out of my mouth before I could stop them. Yuta stared at me; his eyes wide. “I just… I wanted to say it loud just once”.

“You still love me after all this shit”, Yuta chuckled to himself, “Wow…”

“Yeah, I guess I’m just stupid”, I giggled, embarrassed.

“You’re not stupid”, he smiled, “I love you too”. My heart stopped. I’d always imagined what it would feel like to hear him say those words but truly no fantasy lived up to the real thing.

“I guess we’re both stupid”, I whispered. Yuta closed the gap between us and rested his forehead on mine.

“If Sana wasn’t here, I would have loved to take you out on a proper date”, he mused. Suddenly, the door flung open yet again and Sana, phone in hand, sped past us and down the driveway.

“See you at school tomorrow!” she yelled as she disappeared into the distance.

“Your friend is so fucking weird”, Yuta laughed.

“Urgh, don’t even get me started on your friends”. We both chuckled, still holding each other. We had such a long way to go and so many broken things to fix but I loved him and he loved me and hopefully at the end of the road, that would be enough.

#nakamoto yuta #nct yuta #yuta #yuta fanfic #yuta smut #nct fanfic #nct 127 smut #yuta x reader #lee taeyong #taeyong fanfic #lee ten #ten fanfic #jung jaehyun #jaehyun fanfic #jeong jaehyun #xiaojun #xiaojun fanfic #nct oneshot #nct hard hours

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callmewrinkles3 · 1 year

Text

This Love - DR3 x fem!OC

Summary: An escape to Perth for a week helps Dan and Em to realise what they want. But they each have a secret to tell that could rip them apart before they can begin to fix each other.

Words: 5.8k

Warnings: Pregnancy loss, retirement talk, smut (piv sex, fingering, light choking)

A/N: A day later than planned, but the continuation of what’s going on to our babes in 2022! This part deals with some pretty heavy themes, so look after yourselves. Take this as a present for the 300 followers. Hope you like it and lots of love! 💜

June 2022

When Dan helped Em to bed that Monday night she didn’t really sleep. The fog that had clouded her thoughts and judgment basically since she’d left London was lifting and it was like coming back to 4K from an old VHS tape. The way she’d buried her thoughts and self in anything except thinking about what happened, the weight she’d lost, the way she didn’t feel like herself anymore. She’d buried her head in the sand and hadn’t realised what was going on until it was too late. She didn’t want to be like this anymore.

Having Dan there at her side helped. They’d decided to delay their conversation for the summer break, booking flights to LA to leave soon after the race there. It was a week talking about everything and building their relationship and a week of wine tours to celebrate her birthday. She knew it would be hard and they’d both struggle at points but it needed to happen. They were committed. They were going to tell the world about their relationship in Baku. It was going to work out for them. It had to.

Em tried to push the thoughts swirling in her brain aside but it didn’t work, her sleep fitful. She woke up to Dan kissing her forehead and she smiled up at her boyfriend. He was right there beside her and that wasn’t changing. He wasn’t leaving her. She could do this. She could talk to him about anything.

Grace and Joe were staying in Monaco and using it as a base to visit family in Italy while Em and Dan were packing for three weeks away, from Perth to Baku to Montreal. She had her packing list on her phone and Dan pulled it out of her hand.

“What happened to your screen?” He ran his finger along the broken glass, a plastic screen protector barely holding it together.

“It broke when I was away.”

“How?” She blinked and took a breath before answering. It was probably the most embarrassed she felt about how she acted when she was gone.

“I threw it against a wall.” That was a story for another day.

“We’ll get you a new one. It’s not safe to use like this.”

“Danny, it’s fine. I can get the screen changed.”

“No. Baby you’re gonna hurt yourself on it. You’ve had it nearly three years, you need an upgrade anyway.”

“Fine.” He kissed her and she smiled, not truly annoyed at him as he went to the bathroom. She was filling the case mostly for Baku and Montreal, she had clothes in Perth still. They were old but they’d work for while she was there.

Dan came out of the bathroom with the two toiletry bags, passing her the purple one she put in her checked bag and the clear one that went into her hand luggage. Em smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“I put a box of tampons in too. It’s about time you’ll need them, right?” The casual way he said it made her want to smile, but it nearly broke her at the same time. She had to tell him everything.

“Things shifted when I was away. But better safe than sorry.” They finished backing and Dan held her for a few moments as she got herself ready to leave. Final hugs went to everyone else before they went to Nice airport to start the trek to Perth.

Dan held her hand the entire way in the car, and for once they decided to take advantage of the VIP service the airport had. Usually they didn’t bother, but today it was worth it. They were escorted through security and to the lounge to sit and wait for their flight to Dubai. It was packed, a side effect of it being the day after the Grand Prix. Most of the other drivers who didn’t live in Monaco had already left the principality but they were ignored by most of the clients there. Another Formula One driver wasn’t a big deal. They spotted Kevin with his wife and daughter sitting a few tables away, smiling and waving to them.

As she watched Laura sit in Louise’s arms, babbling away, Em felt another pang of longing and loss hit her. The memories of that day four weeks ago when she realised her planned but delayed trip to the pharmacy for a test wasn’t needed anymore. That the suspicions she’d had but was too afraid to confirm for a few weeks were right but she was too late. Sobbing on her childhood bedroom floor clutching her knees to her chest because she was in the worst physical and emotional pain she could think of. She was losing the last piece of Dan she thought she’d ever have.

He needed to know. She needed to tell him and it couldn’t wait until August. It couldn’t wait for months because, selfishly, she couldn’t live with the guilt of not telling him if it was what would break them in the end. The internet had told her that it wasn’t her fault. That losing a pregnancy before twelve weeks was common, that late periods because of stress were normal. That running your pill together for three months and then not taking it for two could throw your cycle into chaos.

She had no true proof of what had happened apart from her symptoms and suspicions but it was enough for her to know. The way the constant exhaustion had eased, how the tenderness in her chest calmed within hours. The nausea she’d had stopping even though she didn’t want to eat. The nearly two week long period when before she was ever on the pill she’d been like clockwork.

Em knew the truth of what she’d lost. And she knew telling Dan was going to hurt both of them. Now that she could think clearly there was no alternative to telling him. She should have tried to get in touch no matter what to tell him and he deserved to know now.

She was quiet on the flight to Dubai, both of them taking a nap through it. Em woke to Dan’s hand on hers, his arm stretched awkwardly over the screen between them so he could hold onto her. He loves her. That was what could get her through until they were alone.

Arriving in Dubai meant that they were escorted to the first class lounge to wait out the three hours of their connection. As they got to the door Em stopped dead in her tracks. Dan was pulled back by his hand because of it and he watched her stare at the door.

“Emmy? Is everything ok?” He asked as she shook her head and bit back the tears she wanted to let out.

“We haven’t been here since last year.” She could see the moment the realisation hit him of their last time in the lounge together. When they said goodbye and he was going to Perth for New Years and she had to go back to London. The beginning of the end of everything.

“We’re going to find a table and sit, ok? Just you and me and some food. That’s all, Baby girl.”

“Ok.”

He found them a seat on the opposite side of the lounge to last time, both of them slipping into seats. Food was brought to them that Em didn’t want to eat but made herself take some bites. Dan’s arm was around her as he held her close and pushed kisses against her head. Fuck the rules, they needed this closeness.

The second flight from Dubai to Perth was eleven long hours as they fought to stay awake to try stave off jet lag. It was caffeine and watching films together, pressing the play button on their screens so they could watch them at the same time. The flight passed slowly but she held Dan’s hand whenever she could. They stayed connected like that as they got off the plane and she put her carry on over her arm to go through immigration and customs. They only let go when she had to join the non Australian line at immigration. Dan watched and waited for her as he was already through.

“What’s the reason for your visit?”

“We’re seeing my boyfriend’s family. I’ve only seen them once in the last two years and I had to leave Melbourne pretty quickly when I did. We have a spare week so wanted to see them.”

“Is your boyfriend Australian? Is he travelling with you?”

“Yes he is. He’s already through if you look behind you.”

Even in a hoodie and jeans to beat the Aussie winter Dan’s smile was infectious. It was the same grin as on nearly every Optus ad in the country and Em could tell the exact moment he was recognised.

“Oh, of course. Enjoy being back.”

She rarely used Dan’s celebrity for her own good, if ever, but it was worth it now to get through without extra questioning. Instead they collected the bags and went through quarantine with a smile and handing over the entry cards. The treats that they’d brought back were approved and just over an hour after landing they were in the familiar surrounds of Perth international arrivals. Joe had given them the keys to his car so they didn’t need to rent one. Instead they piled their bags into the boot to go straight to the farm. It wasn’t too cold for Em but Dan hated the thirteen degree weather and put the heat on as soon as they got into the car.

Their original plan had been to get to Michelle’s from the airport to see everyone but they couldn’t face it. Em was desperate for the hugs from her niece and nephew, for Michelle to wrap her in the big sister hugs that felt so good, but she couldn’t keep her emotions together if she saw them. It took all of three minutes to choose takeout to order on the way home to the farm. They sat at the table as Em nibbled the pizza she’d gotten while Dan ate chicken and rice that mostly fit his race diet. Once they were finished they curled into bed, wrapped around each other.

They lay there in the dark, quiet room, not sleeping or speaking. Em took a deep breath and let out a sigh as everything was screaming at her to speak.

“Penny for them?” Dan asked and she blinked, looking up at him and realising that this was the moment she had to say everything out loud for the first time. “There’s been something on your mind since you came back, right? What’s going on Wrinkles? You know you cal always tell me anything.”

“I’m afraid if I tell you then you’ll hate me.” His arms tightened against her while she closed her eyes and felt a kiss pressed to her forehead. He was there. He wouldn’t leave.

“I can’t hate you. I promise, Baby. I could never hate you. I love you. If you want to wait we can until we’re in LA and we have our talk. It’s whatever you w—“

“No. I need to tell you now.” Em pressed a kiss against his chest, holding onto him so tightly that she thought she might break him for a moment. “I…Fuck. When I was in Liverpool I was late. I was really, really late Danny.”

His sharp intake of breath was enough to tell her he’d heard what she said, but he stayed quiet and pushed his lips to her head until she was ready to keep speaking. Em took a couple of quiet breaths before continuing.

“I had a plan. I was gonna take a test to confirm, and when it came up positive I was gonna call you after the race. You had a right to know, y’know? I wouldn’t have kept that from you. I swear, Dan, I never could have done that. But the day I had the courage to buy it and take it I wasn’t late anymore.” Trying to get the words out felt like a clog in her throat. Tears streamed down her face as she forced herself to push everything else out. “Remember when we were here for lockdown and how I was when things got too much? I was like that and I was alone and in pain and I was so sad. I didn’t know I wanted a baby. But I really wanted your baby. And then I had one and I lost our baby and it’s my fault and I’m so sorry, Danny. I’m so, so, so sorry for losing them. I’m sorry.”

Her sobs overtook her but Dan sat up in the bed and pulled her to him. She didn’t know how they ended up like that but she was in his lap. His arms wrapped around her as he rubbed her back, soothing her and trying to calm her tears. She’d lost their baby and the only things going through her head was that it was her fault and if she’d looked after herself and not let herself be so upset and angry then things would have been different. It was her fault. It had to be her fault, it couldn’t be anyone else’s fault because she was the one who couldn’t keep their baby safe. As her tears began to slow and the wracking sobs eased she could hear Dan’s constant murmurs while she calmed down.

“How can I blame you, my Emmy? It’s not your fault and I will never, ever say it is. You’re so fucking brave, Baby. You’re so brave for getting through this and doing it by yourself and I wasn’t there to help you and I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. I’m so, so sorry that you didn’t think you could ask for help. I’d have been there in a minute, fuck everything else. Nothing else matters except you and me, Baby. You are wonderful and strong and brave and it’s going to happen for us. When we’re ready to have a kid we’ll get to. I promise you. You’re going to be ok. We’re going to get through this, you and me, like always.”

She clung to him as he spoke, a weight lifting off her shoulders. The miscarriage had been in the back of her mind ever since it happened, even when she hadn’t realised it was there. She’d been ignoring it since that day, nobody knew. But it was real. They’d lost their baby and she had hurt so badly because they had but they were going to be ok. They were going to make it.

“You back with me?” Dan asked as she stopped sobbing and he wiped at her eyes. His thumb wiped the tears away and all Em could see when she looked up at him was love. He loved her. Even after all this, even after her failure, he still loved her.

“Yeah I am. I’m not ok. I’m really not doing ok Danny.” They were some of the hardest words she’d had to say.

“I love you so fucking much. So much. I always knew you were brave anyway. Anyone who’s seen the crap said in the paddock knows that about you. You are amazing and wonderful and kind. We both know this is the kind of thing so many people have nightmares about. And you, my amazing and strong girlfriend, went through this on your own.” A watery smile went across her face as Dan pecked her lips quickly. “I’m sad we’re never going to meet that baby. I’m so sad we won’t get to see them grow up. But the worst part is that you went through that without anyone to support you. I’d have been there in a heartbeat if I knew. When did it happen?”

“The week of the race in Miami.” The pain was clear on both their faces. “I nearly texted Michael so many times. There was a photo of you—“

“The blonde who wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“Yeah. I saw that photo the day after it happened. Started. I guess. I tried writing and deleting a text a hundred times to ask him if you’d moved on but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to know.”

“Oh Emmy, baby. I was never going to move on from you. Ever.”

She believed him. She believed every word he said, every moment of them together. And that realisation made her curl against him even tighter.

“I’m so tired, Danny. I’m so, so tired.”

“You just sleep. We’ll see the kids in the morning before they go to school and we can pick them up after to bring them to dinner. Sound good?”

“That sounds really good.”

It was probably too early to go to sleep but for the first time in a week Em slept well with Dan’s arms tightly wrapped around her. She woke up to him shifting in his sleep with his lips against her forehead as he slept. She smiled as she woke and kept her head on his chest before Dan’s alarm went off to wake them.

“You up?” He asked as Em twisted her neck to loop up at him again.

“Yeah. You?”

“Just about. I love you.”

“I love you too.” She let out a breath she didn’t even know that she was holding as Dan caught her in a kiss. He grinned against her lips before letting go and watching her for a moment.

“I’ll put coffee on, we can get breakfast out later?”

“Perfect.”

They were able to take their time getting ready. Dan watched as Em got dressed in clothes she’d kept there, putting her jeans on and pulling the belt tight against her. It was an old belt but it was in a new notch. The jeans that she’d owned since the Chinese Grand Prix were loose around her legs and it felt wrong. She was physically and mentally exhausted and worn out and desperately needed to relax and spend time with Dan. He held her hand as they got into the car, Dan the one who drove back to Michelle’s home.

They arrived just in time as Michelle hurried the kids out the door to go to school. Isaac started asking who was in his grandpa’s car but when Em opened the passenger door and stepped out there were two excited yells as they sprinted to her. The force nearly knocked her backwards into the side of the car but Dan held her arm so she could keep on her feet. Bending down for hugs Isabella wrapped her arms around Em’s neck to be lifted for a cuddle and Isaac followed suit.

She shouldn’t have been able to lift them up. Not with how tired she felt, not with how weak she felt. But she made herself stand up with them in her arms. Dan’s hands were supporting her lift and helped her stay upright as she did, grabbing onto them and holding close. Michelle ran towards them in surprise and once the kids were standing on solid ground Em got a hug from her too. She was home and in her sister’s arms and even with how awful her body felt this was good.

Michelle had to go back to work but they both promised to be back for when the kids finished school to take the family out for dinner. But Dan and Em ended up in a hipster breakfast place Dan found online, sitting next to each other in the booth. She sat there with her caramel latte and avocado toast with a poached egg and listened to Dan’s accent get thicker the more he spoke to people. They could both tell he’d been recognised but the nice thing about Perth was that people left him alone there.

“I think this is technically our first date,” Em murmured and watched as he frowned and thought.

“Fuck. You’re right. I always figured our first official date would be something fancy. Bring you somewhere you deserve.”

“We’re sitting in Perth having breakfast together. It’s the first of many.”

“Yeah it is.” He grinned and gripped her hand while they finished what they were eating before leaving the cafe.

Em just followed Dan down the semi familiar streets. So much had changed in the two years since she’d been in Perth, stores closed and new ones taking their place. They held hands in the weak winter sun, still warm on her skin compared to England. Dan walked like a man on a mission until they arrived at their destination.

It was the Apple Store, quiet for the Thursday morning as they arrived. They went to the phones immediately, Em looking at Dan.

“You need a new phone, Baby. One that isn’t going to cut your hand. Which size do you need for everything?”

“Danny I can get this fixed.”

“Please? Fresh start. New phone, new iPad. You need a new iPad for work anyway, it was upgrade time. So we’ll get it all now.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive.” He pressed a quick kiss to her lips, both of them smiling as they separated from their first kiss in public. Em was still nervous about it and would have rathered just get her phone fixed but she knew what Dan was like when he got an idea in his head. So she held his hand as he explained exactly what they wanted.

“So it’s two 13 Pro Max phones, each one terabyte. Can we get a gold and a silver one? And an eleven inch iPad Pro with as much memory as you have.” Dan put the other accessories he’d picked up on the table beside the sales assistant, two cases for the iPad - one with a keyboard and one without - and two phone cases. Em’s was purple leather, Dan’s a bright blue silicone. She felt overwhelmed with the amount of money Dan was spending on her but just gripped his hand as he put it through his card. It was for them. Them as a couple, nobody else. It was worth it.

Instead of going back to the farm to come back to town they found a coffee shop to set up their new purchases. It felt a little ridiculous but Em loved it as Dan pulled her in for a selfie as he gave her a kiss on the cheek and set it as his Lock Screen. This was real. It was them.

“We’ll talk to Blake in Baku about when you start coming back to work? You left things easy for him to pick up so if you want some time you’ve got it.”

“What are you talking about, Dan?” She looked at him carefully. She’d quit her job. She didn’t have anything to go back to.

“I assumed you’d want to come back to work? If you don’t that’s fine. If you need time or anything it’s totally fine. But it’s there for you.”

“What about your new assistant?”

“What new assistant?”

It made the tears want to come out again. They hadn’t replaced her. She thought people were just keeping her replacement away but they hadn’t. They still wanted her. They always had wanted her and she’d walked away.

“Em. Emmy, look right at me ok? You and me.” She blinked the tears back to stare at Dan as he squeezed her hand. “We couldn’t even think about replacing you. Never. You’re right here and not going anywhere. And if you want to come back you’ll slot back in. If you don’t want to come back to work that’s also fine. It’s up to you.”

“I didn’t think I could come back.” The words were slow to leave her mouth, each one an effort as her panic started to recede.

“We wanted you back as soon as we could find you, Baby.”

“Thank you.”

“For?”

“For loving me.”

“Always.”

Dinner at Michelle’s was fun. The kids enjoyed seeing their Auntie Emmy and Uncle Daniel when it was least expected, and the idea of a sleepover for two whole nights was exciting. Most of it was casual until Michelle half cornered Em in the kitchen.

“Are you ok?” She asked and Em shook her head.

“I…no. The last two months haven’t been good. But we’re getting through it.” Michelle wrapped her in a hug and it felt so, so good. They were close together for a moment and Michelle kissed her cheek.

“If you need anything we’re right here. No matter what’s happening between you and Dan we’re here. Especially if my idiot brother needs a reality check.”

“Don’t call my boyfriend an idiot. But no, it was both of us. We’re fixing it. It’ll take time.”

“Still, if either of you need anything. We might be the other side of the world but we’re here for you.”

“Thanks. For all of it.”

They left before it got too late, the two of them exhausted from jet lag and a busy day. Dan navigated the turns back to the farm easily, his hand on Em’s thigh. When they got inside she sat on the couch, opening the iPad to set it up.

“I haven’t looked at my emails since I left Melbourne. It’s going to be scary to look at, isn’t it?” As she finished speaking there was a crash, Dan smashing a glass that had been in his hand. “Danny?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine. You haven’t looked at your email since then?”

“No. Why?”

“Fuck. I thought you knew.” He sat beside her and took her hand, Em staring at him as he did. “Two days before you came back I sent you an email. I…I’m retiring at the end of the year.”

“What?” The words were going around her head. Retiring. Dan. It didn’t feel right.

“Racing’s taken everything from me. It nearly took you from me. I can’t do this again. I can’t, Baby girl. I can’t do it. I’m not happy anymore, I hate this team, I hate the way they treat you and act about you. How they don’t listen to me and keep blaming me when it’s the fucking car. So I’m out at the end of the year.”

“Don’t do this for me. If you start doing this because of me you’re going to regret it.” The naked fear that he’d start hating her because of this decision filled Em. She didn’t know what she’d do if he hated her.

“It’s not just you. I don’t—“

“Do you still love racing?”

“Yeah. But not with McLaren. Not in this car. It’s fucking toxic.” She squeezed his hand and kissed him carefully.

“Then we’ll find a team for you. But don’t retire like this. Don’t let them chase you out of the sport you’ve loved. You’re the king of fucking Monaco, Danny. You’re an eight times Grand Prix winner, and you haven’t bottled multiple podiums the way your teammate has. I believe in you. So if you want to retire because it’s time then do it. If it’s like Kimi and you’ve done what you want to do. But not because you think it’s your only option. Don’t do that.”

His expression changed and Dan pulled her close. Kisses pushed against her head and she smiled up at him to kiss him properly.

“Do you really mean that? Mind another couple of years of travelling around the world?”

“I mean every word. This is your time, Danny. And in a couple of years we’ll move back and it’s my time. Deal?”

“Deal.”

He didn’t respond, instead lifting Em up and carrying her to the bedroom carefully. Her legs wrapped around his waist while he did, arms holding onto his neck for dear life. But she knew Dan wouldn’t drop her. She trusted him not to.

When they made it to the bedroom it was fumbling fingers, both trying to get the other naked and hold on at the same time. She gasped as Dan undid the clasp on her bra, his hands cupping her boobs for the first time in too long. He lavished kisses against them until he was interrupted by Em taking his shirt off, pulling her too him as he sat on the edge of the bed.

She moaned as Dan’s fingers slid through her folds, feeling where she was wet and slowly playing with her to make sure she was fully ready for sex. He held onto her cheek with the other hand. They each pushed soft kisses to their faces while they got ready, but finally Em positioned herself and slid onto Dan. The stretch as he entered her was perfect, everything she didn’t know she’d missed.

Every time Em tried to get a rhythm going Dan held her at her hip, slowly thrusting. It was shallow and didn’t feel like him, didn’t feel the way they always had sex. It just felt wrong and that terrified her. From the first time they’d slept together they’d always managed to make sex work. And now it felt wrong and if this was a sign of things to come then they wouldn’t be able to save themselves. She couldn’t lose him. Not like this. Not after everything they were fighting for.

“You can go like normal.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.” It was like a punch in the gut but Em held firm and looked at him. Her hand caught his chin and made him look into her eyes.

“I need my Danny back. I need the Danny who doesn’t treat me like I’m about to break back, the one who knows exactly what we need. We know each other so well, we know what we have. If we’re scared of each other this isn’t going to work for us. Baby, please. I love you and I believe in you.”

Em didn’t know what possessed her to do it but she took Dan’s hand from her cheek and carefully pressed kisses to each digit. The final one went to the centre of his palm. Watching Dan’s face carefully she pulled his hand from her lips and pushed it to the centre of her neck.

It had been their thing for so long she’d forgotten how it started. Her riding Dan, his hand on her throat controlling how she moved. She trusted him with all of it, with her. It was the ultimate way of showing how she felt.

“I love you and I trust you. Let me feel you, Baby.”

“I love you so fucking much.”

After the first proper thrust Em didn’t remember much else from the sex they had. She knew she came more than once because Dan would never let her be otherwise, and she knew his back was covered in scratch marks from her nails. Her boobs had love bites marked into them to mark her as Dan’s. The small spots where he gripped her hips to bounce her up and down would darken to fingertip bruises as well. There was a hickey on Dan’s collarbone that she knew Michael would kill her for but she didn’t care. It would fade.

But it felt right. It felt good. It was tiring and she was sore but Dan was all around her and it was everything. He brought her into the bathroom and ran the bath, helping her in and settle beside him. He even remembered a hair tie so her hair didn’t get wet.

“We’re going to make it.” Em said it determinedly, her voice quiet in the room. Dan pulled her even closer as she did.

“We’re gonna make it, Emmy. You and me, like we promised.”

“Yeah. We are.”

Dan helped her out of the bath and they got ready for bed, curling up with Em lying over him. A day ago she had the weight of the world on her shoulders, but now it felt like a new life for them.

“Ready for a weekend of chaos? I thought we could do the Zoo with the kids on Saturday, and Sunday bring them to the cinema and send them home hyper on sugar. Plus they want to spend time with you.”

“Yeah, that sounds good. We’re lucky to have them.” She could feel exhaustion hitting and kissed Dan’s chest once. “Gonna go sleep now. Love you.”

“Love you too, Emmy. Sleep well.”

For the first time in too many months, Em fell into a dreamless sleep with her boyfriend’s arms tight around her.

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