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[ramonathinks]

matters of the heart — Nanami K.

summary: finding out your ex-boyfriend wrote a novel detailing your relationship isn’t how you expected this week to go and to make matters worse everyone on the internet now thinks your “character” is a total bitch. you decide to pay your ex a visit, but can you do that without succumbing to your natural urges? well, no!

tags: 18+(MDNI/blank blogs) slight porn with plot, oral (f! receiving), brief nipple sucking, daddy kink, creampie, i guess nanami is a bit toxic in this lol, nanami might also be a bit ooc in here

to the moaners: has this been sitting in the draft for about 3-4 months? yes! but happy birthday month, kento 😚. artwork by @/_3aem (twt); @ryomens-vixen (this was the fic I mentioned a while back) word count: 5.6k (yuck), I don't really like this

I’m going to kill him, that was the only thing on your mind once you closed out of the novel. Normally, your weekends were spent relaxing with a fruity bubble-gum colored cocktail but today was different. Shoko called your phone at exactly 9:26 am claiming it was time she divulged some news to you. At exactly 9: 28am, she sent you an online copy of a book titled, “Matters of the Heart” and told you it was nothing but a two or three hour read and then to call once you finished. 

The book had a slow start and it seemed pretty average, just any old love story. Lately, anything was getting published and it seemed that was the case here — wait, you paused your reading and sat up straight. No. Just no. Something just clicked for you which led you to completely start over from page one. 

The moment you finished, at exactly 1:01 pm, you grabbed a salmon colored low cut shirt and light washed jeans, slipped on your white shoes and hurried to get into your car. You didn’t need to call her phone because you were going to talk to her face to face; this situation warranted a real conversation. It was nothing but a 17 minute drive to Shoko’s house, so when you arrived at exactly 1:18 pm, her door was already open. “They’re bashing me, Shoko. Fucking bashing! How could he do this to me?” Were the first words that flew out of your mouth, holding your phone close to her face so that she could see the reviews. 

“Well, it’s not like anyone would know it’s you.” She yawned, handing you a cup of water – probably because of how crazy you looked – before she ushered you to a seat on the couch. A golden brown blanket was lazily thrown on the seat, which she hurried to move. You sat down and faced her with a look of what Shoko could only describe as pure sadness. She had seen you like this many times before, all because of one person. 

“You did.” You sniffled with an eye roll, you couldn’t help but feel uncertain. Reading this book only brought back more uncomfortable feelings towards the breakup and him. You thought that you were over him and the memories that the book produced made you question everything. One question remained which is: Why?

She giggled drily. “Hey, I read all his works. Pseudonym or not. He can’t hide from me. Plus, I know you both and everything that went on. I was there too, remember?” She mumbled the last part. “Maybe this was his way of coping?”

“It’s been years… and I heard he’s announced a sequel. Shoko, a SEQUEL! It’ll be released later this year.” You spoke in a shaking watery voice while she rubbed your back in an attempt of comfort. Your mind could only think of what the reactions would be to your character in the sequel… insecurities that you never knew were there flooded your mind.

“There was enough material for a sequel? I thought he covered everything…” Shoko rubbed her chin and looked deep in thought. You just stared at her, she couldn’t be serious. “Sorry, ignore me.” She shook her head ignoring your stare.

“Do I even confront him over this? A-and how would that make me look, like I still check on him right? I’ll look crazy and bitter… which apparently I am. Oh and I’m bitchy and a ‘total cunt’ as they’re putting online.” He didn’t know just how much you changed, he missed your growth. Rubbing your eyes, you ask:“Why did you tell me about this? What made you take so long… I just don’t understand.”

“Well, at first… I didn’t think you’d care.” Moving a strand of her nut-brown hair out of her face, she continued. “Then about a month ago, I decided it was right to tell you, just in case someone else pieced it together.”

“Gojo read it then, huh?” You mentally cringed at the thought. It was the only person you could think of who’d be so crude about it. He knew how damaging the breakup was for you but not as bad as Shoko knows. Now, you’re just grateful that she told you before he did.

“Yep, so I figured that I had to tell you before he did.” She clicked her tongue. “But let’s just calm down before you make any rash decisions on how to handle this.” 

“He wrote a fucking duality series about me, our relationship, our sex life and you want me to calm down? Are you listening to yourself? This is a serious matter. I am being called a bitch, a slut and more on Goodreads and multiple websites, reviews, etc. and he didn’t even have the audacity to give me a heads up. You had to call me.” You let out an unladylike snort.“Why couldn’t he stick to his mystery novels? Wasn’t he doing good at those?”

“Writer's block.” Shoko said in a singsong-like voice. “He hadn’t written a mystery book since you two broke up and then… he alerted his supporters he wanted to switch things up and then… that was that. Ladies loved it, a big hit. By the way, if you two were really fucking like that I need to se—”

“Shoko, now is not the time!” Your face felt hot all over, your mind racing. “I just can’t believe this.” You wrapped your arms around your body and squeezed, giving yourself one big squeeze. It was hard not to cry but you could feel it all in your throat. 

“I’m sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think his intentions were to make you feel bad.” She hugged you to her chest, pressing a small kiss to the crown of your head. “I think he still loves you. I mean, isn’t this book proof? After all these years, he wrote about you.” 

“I’m sure he moved on by now.” You whispered, your eyes growing tired already and the day had barely started. “I just need to lay down. I need to rest.” Your mind seemed to finally grow calm and your breathing steady, a small hiccup now in your throat but with a gulp of water, you were better.

“Just stay here. I don’t trust you to be alone right now.” Shoko’s voice drowned out as sleep overtook you, you could only feel her warmth as she held you and honestly it was all you needed at this moment, Shoko always made you feel safe and you couldn’t thank her more than enough for that right now as you slept.

You were a light sleeper, it was always something that Nanami pointed out about you. He always said how he felt like he couldn’t leave the room while you slept even if it was to use the bathroom afraid to wake you. He knew how important sleep was to you and he’d risk having a bladder infection if you got all 8 hours that you required. Nanami was sweet and caring like that. 

You didn’t think you’d break up with him ever. He was the one for you and he always made that clear. He pampered you and even after the breakup – though you didn’t need it – he left you with a check for five thousand dollars, saying it was for his half of the lease for the next few months. 

The breakup was brutal for you. You almost quit working entirely. Shoko was the only person you’d confined into and the only friend you left to check in on you especially when you didn’t want to leave the house. She brought you groceries and helped you shower until you finally were able to get up again.

Though it was hard to believe, it was Nanami who broke up with you. You thought it was a joke, a cliche little joke. 

“Baby, I’m not joking.” His voice was quiet and husky, he spoke as if he was going to cry. “I just need some time to myself. I need to figure out if this is what I want. You don’t have to wait for me, you just keep on living your life and being happy. But… I think it’s time we let this go.” 

You didn’t cry in front of him. You didn’t cry when he packed his things up. You certainly didn’t cry when he shut the door, leaving his key on the table because you knew he was joking. He had to be. But when you called him and his number was disconnected and you were blocked on any form of social media… that was when you broke down and cried. 

It happened out of nowhere. You overanalyzed every aspect of your relationship for where you went wrong. You wrote down every conversation you could remember and dissected it word by word. You watched every video and picture you had of the two of you looking for a bit of regret or anything on his face. You read every text message, looking for malice. He said he needed time to figure out if he wanted this but he always made it clear that he did and even that he was looking forward to having kids together, you two had even gone ring shopping months ago. 

You didn’t sleep and when you did, it was only for 4 hours and sometimes barely that. Your heart had an ache in it and the tears wouldn’t stop. You could only think why wasn’t I enough?

When you opened your eyes Shoko was still holding you and a small smile grew on your lips. “Thank you Shoko.” You knew if you could count on anyone, it was always going to be her. She was the one who pieced you back together and made sure that life didn’t destroy you and you couldn’t help but to be grateful. 

“Of course. ‘M going to let you spend the night here, okay? Let’s get some takeout and watch your favorite movies, how’s that sound?” She knew the way to your aching heart like the back of her hand. 

“It sounds amazing!” You stretched your arms out wide, leaning off of her and sitting up. “Should we start with Uptown Girls or Legally Blonde?” 

It took two days before you confronted him. Shoko was adamant about not giving you his address and you were tempted to get it from her phone. But luckily, you wore her down, she was probably tired of you bringing him or his book in every conversation. So now you stood there, nerves washing over you in waves.

The mahogany colored door stared at you – mocked you – and you returned the glare before you knocked on it, hard. This was just a door and you were angry at the person behind said door, not the door itself. 

It was almost like he was waiting on you because the door unlocked and opened. He even stepped aside to let you in, quiet. His straw-colored hair was parted differently and he even looked taller or broader – you couldn’t completely tell – but he looked different… seemed different. The atmosphere around him made your stomach clench and it made you mad; why did it feel like only you suffered from the breakup? Here he was – strong and tall – and you were nothing or rather the same.

“You wrote a romance erotica novel about our relationship?” It was what you practiced saying before you got out of your car – making sure your voice didn’t tremble – this time, it didn’t. 

“Well, hello to you too. Even after three and a half years, you still like to get straight to the point.” He grinned, putting a hand on your back to guide you to a seat on his couch. “I must ask, what makes you think it’s about you?” He does a slight laugh and raises his brow.

“We have the same initials, almost the same name. Are you kidding me?” You retort, folding your arms across your chest. You tried to ignore the fuzzy feeling in your chest that occurred when you heard his voice after so long, hearing him and seeing that damned smile… your nose scrunched up.

“Sorry, I just didn’t know you kept up with me… with my books…” He muttered, glancing your way, a demure look in his amber eyes. “Should I be flattered?” Almost in an instant, he turned on a slight cockiness to himself, though his body language showed his nervousness – his thigh bouncing a bit and his fingers tapping on the couch handle. A light sense of relief filled your system knowing that you weren’t the only one being affected by this.

“I don’t.” You inhaled deeply. “Shoko told me about it and then, I checked it out.” Fiddling with your fingers and even picking at your nails, that was your tell all sign of nervousness and right now you were engaging in it more than ever before. 

“I wanted to tell you or rather, to ask you. I know you got the voicemails I sent last year…and then you kept dodging my calls.” He tells you, you could feel his eyes on you – or more so your fingers… the nasty habit that he had finally got you to stop all those years ago rushing right back in an instant.

“Writing a book to trash me and our relationship… to make you look like some sort of… ugh, like you’re so amazing and I’m just shit. Yeah, that certainly got my attention.” If you were coming off bitchy or rude right there, you couldn’t care less especially when there were worse things that you could’ve said or even could’ve done at this moment. You really wanted to slap him. 

“Is that all you got out of it?” He asks with his head low, almost as if he was admitting defeat or as if he couldn’t believe you came up with something so trivial. 

“Was there anything else to get?” You counter, shifting your body towards him. Maybe it was best that you sat down and actually listened to the author and his interpretations of his work.

“How about that I love you regardless of any flaws… how about I find your stubbornness and attitude sexy and how I knew this breakup would be good for you. I was holding you back. I mean, I heard you got promoted 3 times since we broke up… I just felt like I was changing you, hindering your growth. I needed to reflect on myself and this book helped that.” He tapped his fingers against his thigh, yet another sign of his anxiousness. “Believe it or not, I still care about you. No matter what happened between us.”

“What happened? You mean when you decided to just leave? You could've told me everything you just told me and I would’ve understood better. We could’ve talked and came to a compromise. You don’t understand what you put me through after it.” You were close to tears but you straighten your posture and sniffled, it was best not to think about what happened before. “I just needed a bit of closure too, I guess that’s why I came. I just was caught off guard. You could’ve knocked on my door or something, forced me to answer… forced me to talk.”

He met your eye for the first time since you came over. “You wouldn’t have listened,” He huffs. “Didn’t I mention how stubborn you are? Plus, I meant what I said. I needed time to myself and I think we both did.”

“I guess…But Nanami, this book was too much. A letter would’ve been fine if you needed closure, don’t you think?” You see his lips quirk up a bit before he licks them, trying not to laugh it seems.

“My publisher got a hold of some of the documents where I was just going over things, writing here and there. She loved the idea… plus I’m in a contract for six books so I had to put something out soon, it had already been a year.” He told you, sitting his chin on top of his knuckles. “I honestly didn't mean to hurt you. I was writing for fun… reminiscing about us and then later down the line, I realized I was writing because I wanted you to read it, I just didn’t exactly know how to get you to since you were very adamant on avoiding me, which is understandable. But regardless, I didn’t think it’d get on the bestseller list or for the reviews to get so harsh.” He admits, reaching for your hand before his hand froze in midair and he stopped himself, choosing instead to put it behind his head.

“Is there anyway you can stop the sequel from being published then… since you got my attention after all this time?” You asked, putting your most dazzling smile on, hoping to sway him. 

“I can talk to my publisher. Everything’s in print and materials are already done… but I’ll try to see if I can stop production.” His adam’s apple bobbles when he does a harsh swallow. “Are we… okay? Do you forgive me?”

The question made you pause. He always made it hard for you to not forgive him; it took one look or a smile and a small explanation and it made it easy to fall in love with him all over again, no matter what he did… it seems. But it made you ask yourself: Were you too easy? Did you really forgive him? It was thoughts like that swirling around the corners of your mind. You wanted to forgive him, he was just writing and telling a story… but it was your story, not just his. Using this for your attention when he could’ve written about anything else, he didn’t have to. Were you just ready to forgive him because you still loved him? 

You hadn’t realized how deep in thought you were until you felt the couch dip and even then, your mind was still spirling.“You don’t have to…” His voice brings you out of your thoughts, his body so close to yours that it was getting hard to breathe. He still smelled the same; citrus and woodsy and it was easy to get yourself sucked back in. 

“So you can write another book about my stubbornness?” You give a quiet giggle, scooting a bit away from him, seeing him frown from the corner of your eyes. You didn’t want to fall back but he made it all so simple. It was easy and you were already falling back on him and you didn’t need that… Did you?

“Baby…” Your body buzzed and hummed, turning to him with wide eyes. “I’ll do anything I can to make this right. Anything for you to forgive me… If they can’t stop publication, what can I do to make us right?” He was doing more than a gaze, he was full on staring and from how close he was it was hard to avoid. 

“Nanami I–” You stopped yourself. You couldn’t really think of anything he could do but you could think of several unhealthy things you could do to ruin your progress on going over him. He had betrayed you and made you a laughing stock so why are you stuck thinking about forgiveness when you should be leaving.

“I never stopped loving you.” His fingers traced up and down your pants but his eyes stayed on yours. “I never thought about anyone but you… I never slept with anyone… it’s always been you. But, I understand what I put you through and I’ll apologize every second until you forgive me…” The blond man who you never saw shed a tear looked more than close to it. “But just please… forgive me.”

“I’m sorry, honest.” He tries again after being met with absolute silence. “Just… let me show you, okay?” His breath tickles your face for a second and when you look into his cocoa brown eyes, you feel everything you once felt again.

Memories of good times dulls out the odd feelings in the pit of your stomach – the confusion and pain – instead are replaced with joy. The trip to Malaysia where he rubbed sunscreen on your entire body and laid back to read a book and you watched as his eyes kept drifting to you while you played in the cerulean water; how you kept begging him to come in until he complied and how eventually in the early hours of the morning when you wanted another dip, he fucked you twice — once in the golden lush sand and another in the cool ocean water. 

His face is in your thighs and you couldn’t help but feel better, feeling his breath fanning so close to your pants covered pussy, your body felt scorching hot. He’s grumbling, “Will you let me make it up to you? Will you let me show you how sorry I am?” 

You must’ve nodded because he was already unbuttoning your pants and helping you lay back, pulling your shirt up just a bit to see your perky tits – he must’ve remembered how you never wore bras unless you felt it was necessary, which was mainly work or any important events. 

He blew a bit on your hardening nipples before he took one into his mouth – playing biting them with a smug look on his face before he began licking around your areolas and kissing around the swells of your breast. He doesn’t say anything but he looks deep in thought as he kisses down your body, his fingers scraping down your sides as he works your pants and your panties all the way down. Bringing his head up for a minute, he looks in your face. “I love you.” He says it simply, heavy emotions swirling in his brown eyes.

Removing your pants and underwear completely from your body, he spreads your thighs and looks over your body – a trimmed low pretty bush sits between your thighs and it makes him smile, he always loved seeing the curled hair on your delicate lower lips. He spreads your pussy, watching the skin stretch with a deep smile on his face. You could feel yourself … the wetness leaking down under your body and it made you cringe, but the way he was staring at you made the insecurities vanish. “All this for me?” He takes a tentative lick before he slurps, clutching your hips. “I know you like to run… but I need you to stay put, got it?” It was hard for you to listen to him, your head already fuzzy and the thoughts swirling around were only about him, nothing more. 

Then your body bucks up, “Wait–!” A broken moan escapes your mouth when he presses a soft wet kiss to your clit. Nanami had always been gentle and very careful whenever he ate you out; making sure his tongue was wet enough and that he wasn’t too rough. His tongue was wide enough to make your back arch, your body leaving the couch when it finally hit your clit and he gave you no time to recover before he peeled back the hood, sitting the tip of his tongue there and rapidly flicked at the bud. 

Hearing the lewd squelching noises coming from the mixture of your cunt and his mouth made you close your eyes, squeezing them shut tightly. He spits before he licks it up and down your aching slit, nudging his tongue inside only slightly, much to your dismay. You’re gasping every second when more of his tongue slips in and out of your pussy; sliding a bit more each time and it makes your thighs shake. When he finally slips his entire tongue inside of you, curling it just enough that you can feel it everywhere, your legs attempt to close up around his head. “Please– ‘m so… soo–oh…” His fingers join in on the fun and in small sloppy circles he rubs your clit, pressing down on the pearl while his tongue continues flicking inside of you. The split second that you open your eyes, his are already on yours and it was that moment, that made your body tense up and for you to cum. 

It happens fast, clear sticky wetness leaks out of you and Nanami still tries to get more of it on his tongue, catching anything that drips and sucking on your folds. “Always so fucking good…” He mutters, spreading you again and smearing more of your slick on his face by shaking his head between your thighs, so that he’s completely covered in you. 

When he moves his head, embarrassment comes over you, looking at his wet face… even his forehead was wet and you couldn’t bring yourself to meet his eyes. “Nothing to be embarrassed about, baby but… I’ll be right back, stay wet for me.”

Your heart hammers against your chest, lying there on this now wet couch. You didn’t come over here for this and yet here you are… about to get fucked and really, it was no turning back now. You’d been on dates with men after Nanami but they never lasted past the second date and you certainly hadn’t had sex in a while, but he made you come apart like it was nothing.  

But then again, Nanami knew your body… so of course this was a walk in the park for him. It honestly annoyed you right now, you couldn’t even make yourself cum half the time especially these last few years and now, barely an hour here and he has you right where he wanted you… bare and practically back in love with him.

Nanami came back with a fresh face and unbuttoned pants that he was currently pulling down. You clenched around nothing, your mind thinking only of the perfect dick that was going to be coming out of those pants. You licked your lips, this would be the first dick you saw in years and it was his. 

His drooling cock slapped his stomach and you swallowed, your mouth felt unreasonably dry. The length of his cock always impressed you, standing tall at seven and a half inches, he shakes with laughter which snaps you out of your daze. “Now let me look at you.” His whispers and even though he already saw you, both years ago and right now, you can’t help but feel hot all over again. He’s staring – drawing his eyes down every inch of your body –  focusing on your breast before getting to the stare of the show yet again. He smirks, laying you back down, pressing his body against yours to kiss you. 

Your breath was caught in your throat, his tongue still tasted of you and his hands cups your jaw. He’s gentle, his tongue moving around your mouth messily before he stops, saliva breaking apart when he does so. His fingers make a ghostly featherlight touch on your clit that makes you jump, the head of his cock at your entrance. He holds out his hand, close to your mouth. “Spit.” Gathering up some, you spit in the palm of his hand and stroke it along his length, huffing at the sensation. 

He pushes in, taking his time to work himself inside of you, a strained expression on his face. Hips pulled back, he focuses more on just the tip of himself fucking you, watching your pussy stretch with just the tiniest bit of resistance. Inching himself inside, you watch his torso flex and he groans, obscene noises plop and plap around the apartment, his heavy cock pushing in and out of you, your toes curling. 

“Pussy still mines, right? Didn’t give it away, did you?” You’re struggling to talk - to fucking breathe - your eyes rolling back and your jaw slacked but you babble out a soft ‘no’ which makes him finally thrust in you harder, completely bottoming out. You feel him in your belly, feeling full and embarrassingly wide with him stretching you out, his balls sitting on the crest of your ass before he moves. 

He moves you a bit, your bodies flush to each other and he moves his hips in harsh circles, his pelvis so close to your clit. His hands on your calves, he pushes your legs so that they rest on his shoulders, your knees touching your ears makes you tighten up and he groans above you.

“Nanami I-” You call out, eyes closed with pleasure shaking through your core, wetness slapping between the both of you. 

“Nanami? No, call me what you used to call me.” His hips slowed down, a whine escaping your lips. His cock dragging inside of your walls, pulling out slowly, awaiting your response. 

“Please…don’t slow down, Ken—” before the word even left your lips, his hand slapped your cunt, leaving your legs shaking a bit and your eyes snapping open. Drops of tears run down your cheeks and you sniffle, reaching for him… you couldn’t help but feel so small in his presence.

“Say it.” Then, you knew what he meant. A name that now feels foreign in your brain and even when it leaves your mouth, it comes out in a strange rattled whimper.

“Oh, oh… daddy, ‘m sorry. Please, keep fucking me. It’s so goooood!” He’s grinning before the words leave your mouth.

“Still my good girl huh? Always so fucking good for daddy.” He licks up your neck and it makes you tremble, your tongue lolling out a bit and he moves to suckle on it. “Did you skip over all those sex scenes or did you rub this pussy out to them?” He asks, his fingers digging in the back of your thighs. 

You choked out, sobbing, “I did, daddy… But I-I don’t want to remember everything.” 

“You don’t remember all the words I used to describe this cunt? This pretty pussy? That changed his life… my life? That made him always crawl back? That made him so fucking hard? The pretty words I used to describe you? To describe how pretty she always looked when he fucked her? How his heart felt like it was going to explode when she looked at him too long because he loved her so damn much?” He’s groaning in your ear, thrusting into you, his depth reaching your g-spot, your pussy spasming and begging for his cum at every word he uttered. 

Pumping himself inside, you could see the white creaminess that was on his cock, most likely because of you, he was constantly fucking the cream inside of you, your nails digged into his arms and he moaned at the feeling. Your stomach tightens and you move to push him away, “I’m going to c–cum!” You felt him throbbing inside of you, signaling that he was close too. “Please, cum inside of me… I can’t take it.” You couldn’t stand it any longer, it’s been years and you needed him to fill you up. He stopped for a moment, changing positions so that you’ll be sitting on his lap, grabbing your hips and forcibly bouncing you on his dick, dangerously slow. 

Wetness gushes on him as his tip hits you from a new angle, seeing the outline of him in your tummy, he’s stretching you again with each nasty thrust. Each drag of his cock making you go crazy and the aching between your legs continue, your body shaking and both of you moaning loudly and over each other. 

Finally, your orgasm rattled and shook your entire body, your pussy sucking him in, milking him for all he’s worth and it makes his body shake and he releases inside of you, trying to stay quiet as his body jerks up, unable to stop himself from fucking you through both of your orgasms.

It’s quiet for a while, just heavy breathing with you laying on his chest. “I love you too…” Your voice is scratchy and your face tear stained. He doesn’t say anything, his cock still pulsing inside of you.

“I know. I love you too, never stopped.” 

“Did you at least read the acknowledgements or did you just dive right in?”

“I never read the acknowledgements for books, thought you would’ve remembered that.” You watch him get up, walking around the living room, looking for something. You were both still naked and the entire room smelled of sex. 

“I did remember that and when you barged in my door, I already knew that you still hadn’t changed when it came to that. Here, read this part right here.” He brings you over a copy and you run your fingers around the softback cover with a small smile on your face; this silly thing had brought you both back together and right now you could give less than a fuck about those reviews. 

Feeling the spine of the book, you open it and can practically smell the scent of an unopened new book. Turning the first few pages, you go to the one page acknowledgment and read it aloud: “She might not read this book. But if she does, by chance. I hope she knows that I still love her.” You wiped your eyes and smiled. “You’re an asshole, you know?”

He lets out a hearty laugh, “I know baby.” Kissing the top of your head, he gets up and grabs his phone from the kitchen counter and you follow him. “I think I have enough material to write a third book now.” He grabs his phone and starts typing, his eyebrows furrowed as if he was deep in thought. Attempting to grab his phone he chuckles and uses his height to his advantage by standing taller.

Standing on the tips of your toes you snort, “Don’t even joke about that!” But a smile takes over your face and he can’t help but smile too. 

[nereidprinc3ss]

i keep you clean; you surrounded me

in which husband!spencer reid spirals after realizing he can't be your daughter's hero forever.

angst, fluff warnings/tags: this fic is about spencer's past addiction, and how he's afraid it will impact his relationship with his daughter, conversation about alcohol, this is a fix-it fic for my life, ends on a hopeful/positive note, lots of self-loathing from Spencer, uses the phrase "shooting up", PLEASE do not read if this is going to upset you!! PLEASE!! fem!reader a/n: this felt healing in a way for me but that might not be your experience reading if you also have issues with a parent with addiction so please tread lightly and make the right choices for you. CHOOSE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH OVER MY DUMB FANFIC I CAN'T STRESS THAT ENOUGH!! and ily

“Daddy?”

Ada’s not asking for you, but you look to her anyway. She’s squeezed between you and Spencer on Rossi’s swing, and her cheeks are still feverish—remnants of a recent and rather hysterical fit of giggles. She has a glass of lemonade between her little hands (you’re trusting her with a big girl cup, if only because it’s not your glass or your house) and she peers into it intently. Her little grass-stained feet kick. Spencer pushes the swing back ever so slightly, for her entertainment. 

“Huh?”

She holds her glass up for him. 

“Our drinks are the same color.”

“They are,” he nods. “Do you like yellow?”

Ada shrugs. It’s exaggerated—one of her favorite moves as of late. “It’s okay.”

Spencer glances at you like he always does when he sees glimpses of you in your child, eyes sparkling as if her opinionated and bluntly honest nature is in any way reminiscent of you. 

“Yeah, I agree. Yellow is just okay.”

She leans against him and he’s quick to accommodate her, affectionately brushing his knuckles over your bare shoulder as he slings his arm across the back of the swing. 

“Daddy?”

��What, lovebug?”

You smile, letting your head fall back and your eyes close. The sun is warm on your face. 

“Mommy’s drink is red.”

Nothing gets past her. Rossi had pushed the drink into your hand almost the second you stepped through the door, insisting it would go well with lunch. It sits otherwise untouched on the glass table. 

Spencer hums. The swing rocks gently. 

“That’s because she’s not having lemonade like us. She’s having a grownup drink.”

“Oh.”

You think that’s the end of it, that she’s satisfied with the answer, until another moment passes, and her voice, sweet as the tinkle of little fairy bells, is posing a very loaded question. 

“Why don’t you ever have grownup drinks? Me and you always have the same.”

Spencer’s already looking at you, brows drawn as you sit up. Your eyes, open now, go wide, and you shake your head slightly to signal you have no idea how he’s supposed to respond either. 

His hand goes to Ada’s hair, gently scratching her scalp as his eyes dart over your face. You can see the gears turning in his head. This is one of very few things he clearly didn’t read about in any of the literature on raising kids when you were pregnant. 

“I… some people don’t like grownup drinks.”

It’s an inadequate answer, especially coming from Spencer—just this morning he explained to Ada why the sky is blue. Rayleigh scattering. Blue light scatters more than any other kind of light. Which then led to an impromptu lesson on oxygen molecules and other basic chemistry in the car on the way here. 

So there are standards. 

“Why not?”

You interrupt, unable to watch Spencer flounder any longer. “Ada, why don’t you go see what Henry and JJ and Uncle Dave are doing? That looks fun, right?”

You gesture down the yard to where JJ and Rossi are teaching Henry to play cornhole. 

She looks at you with big brown eyes—the set of them, the color—those are all Spencer.

“Can you and daddy come?”

You straighten out her dress and take the half-full glass from her little hands, setting it next to your own on the table. 

“In a minute. Go ahead.”

Spencer’s hand slips from her hair as she pushes off the swing and bounds down the yard. You make sure she arrives to her destination without incident, before scooting closer to your husband and taking his vacant hand. 

“Spence?” You ask quietly, leaning in to try and insert yourself into his eye line. He doesn’t look away from Ada. 

“That was bad.”

“It wasn’t. She doesn’t understand. It’s fine.”

“I didn’t—”

He looks down, lips pressed together, and your heart twists and drops like overripe fruit from the vine as you realize his eyes have glossed over. 

“Baby,” you whisper, relinquishing his hand only so you can rub his back. Your other finds his knee, drawing as close as you possibly can. “It’s okay.”

“How am I supposed to explain it to her?”

A tear falls, making a dark splotch on the fabric of his pants. 

“You don’t have to. She’s only five. I guarantee she’s already forgotten all about it.”

“I will. I’ll have to tell her one day. She thinks I’m perfect, how am I supposed to—”

He stops himself, voice tightening to a halt. You watch him hold back a cry like you haven’t seen in years. It’s an old, familiar ache for you. You can’t imagine how it feels for him. 

“Spencer,” you coo. “She adores you. She loves you so much. That’s never going to change.”

His nose twitches. 

“I’m going to disappoint her.”

“How? How are you going to disappoint her?”

“I think it’s pretty disappointing to find out your dad is a junkie.”

His tone isn’t particularly harsh but the words are like a slap anyway. 

“Spencer…” For a moment you don’t know what else to say. It’s not a secret that he’s ashamed of that chapter in his life, but you had no idea he was contending with this much self-loathing over it, even after all this time. It seems like such a distant point in the rearview mirror that the two of you almost never need to talk about it anymore. “You are not a junkie. It’s been, what—a decade?”

“I don’t want to have to tell her what drugs are, let alone that I... she thinks I’m the smartest guy in the world, and one day I’ll have to tell her that drugs are extremely dangerous, and I was shooting up for four months anyway. No matter how I try to explain it to her the ultimate takeaway is going to be that I’m weak and I wasn’t smart enough and she’s never, ever going to forget that. How am I supposed to—I can’t be a role model for her. I fucked up so badly.”

Your chest aches, somewhere deep and hollow, as he leans forward, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes, only for a moment—before Ada shrieks and his head snaps back up. Henry is chasing her with a worm. Spencer watches on, tears still leaking from his eyes and expression otherwise neutral. It’s bittersweet to hear him express such deep insecurity about the thing he’s best at in the world, even as those parental instincts kick in and he’s setting aside his own feelings to keep an eye on her. He’s never trusted himself. He’s never seen himself the way you do. 

“Baby, you are her dad and she loves you. Her love for you is not contingent on your past. You are so, so good to her. That’s all she knows, okay? She doesn’t care what you were doing when you were 25. She cares about whether you’ll be home for dinner, and if you’ll play dolls with her, and if you’ll tuck her in. That’s all she needs to love you.”

JJ wrangles the kids and after a moment Spencer looks down again, brow furrowed deeply as drops like rain dot his lap, but he hardly makes a sound. You lay your cheek on his shoulder. “And until she’s old enough for the whole story, which involves a lot more violence than I am comfortable with her being subjected to right now, you don’t need to explain it to her. You have time.”

“She wants to know now.”

“She also wants icecream for every meal. But I can’t make her understand why that’s a bad idea. What she wants and what she needs and what she is capable of understanding are all different categories. I know you love answering all her questions, and you’re a really good teacher, but you can’t make her understand something as complex as addiction.”

Spencer sniffs. 

“Developmentally she’s only really capable of understanding the world as it exists in relation to herself.”

“Exactly. So give her some time, and give yourself some time.”

“What if she asks again?”

“Then… you say you don’t like how it makes you feel. And tell her to clean up her toys. Condition her to stop asking.”

Spencer stumbles over a teary laugh he hadn’t been expecting. You sit up straight, holding his face between your hands and encouraging him to look at you. His cheeks shine with tears, but you wipe them away tenderly. 

“You’re perfect to her,” you whisper, pressing a kiss to one cheek, “and you’re perfect to me.” He cups your elbow as you kiss the other and looks at you with so much sheer adoration you could get all choked up, too.

“Wow,” he sniffles, and takes a deep breath, pulling you into him, “I don’t deserve you.”

“Of course you do,” you mumble into his shirt, eyes fluttering shut as he presses three kisses to the curve of your neck where he’s buried his face. 

“I could be canonized as a saint and not deserve you.”

Sainthood. You ponder that. 

Saints have to live virtuously. They also have to be dead. 

You hold him a little tighter. You like him exactly how he is: technically imperfect. Probably not getting into heaven. Still venerable. Very much heroic. Alive, and with you.

“I’m really glad you’re not a saint.”

He chuckles. His hand slides up your back, and then side to side—a path it’s made time and time again which has only ever led you to wonderful, perfect places.

“Me too.”

[lustspren]

P.S.T EP. 16 | And The Snakes Start To Sing ft Karina, Yeji.

length: 16.9k words ✦

Karina, Yeji X Male Reader

genres:  threesome, anal, facial, double blowjob, pussy eating, dirty talk, creampie, rough sex, bi, blowjob, daddy kink, footjob, titjob, face fuck

✦✧✦✧✦✧

✦✧✦✧✦✧

The air felt different that morning, and so did the mattress and pillow beneath you.

But of course it did. After months of hotel after hotel, after dozens of different beds, you were finally in the comfort of your own bed, in your own place. It was a necessary commodity, since you were close to chronic fatigue or even back problems from changing mattresses so often without optimal rest.

It seemed like an unbeatable scenario for you, only that it could actually be improved; the two beauties you had under your arms when you woke up confirmed it. The two of them, realizing that you had already woken up, snuggled closer to your sides, both with their heads on your chest.

"Now that you're unemployed can we just stay like this all day?" Rina asked in a tender, low voice, clinging to you with her arms and legs.

You weren't prepared to even contemplate how to answer that question; it sounded too weird to hear, like it was a joke to catch you off guard.

"I know a few girls who might be interested in seeing him if he wanted to," Yeji interrupted you from your left to give you a peck on the collarbone, before you could say anything. "But I'm happy to stay with my two bros as long as you two want."

After bringing your hands to rub your eyes and a yawn you put your five senses together to be able to talk.

"We can certainly stay like this for a while," you squeezed them against you with your arms crossed over their soft backs, both pairs of soft breasts pressed against your ribs. "But there's something I didn't tell you last night..."

THE PREVIOUS MORNING.

You didn't know what was scarier, the spooky hangar you were walking to once you got off the jet, or the men in suits waiting for you inside. In the end you decided it was a draw.

The hangar had no lights inside, it was only lit by sunlight filtering through small rectangular windows at the bottom of the wide doors at the back that made the floor shine, which was very worn from probably so many years of one without maintenance. It was obvious that it had not been used for a long time.

But inside they were. The devils in suits. As haughty and visibly detestable as you imagined them. They were not exactly few; at first glance you counted more than a dozen, which led you to think that not only high executives of SM would be there. There had to be at least one from each big company with their respective entourage of assistants and security guards.

However, something caught your attention: neither Irene nor the reporter were there. Confused, you turned to look at Jihye as you crossed the threshold and were covered by the shadow, but she seemed to know perfectly well what was happening. It had to be the part that she left out of the plan for you.

She approached a tall man wearing sunglasses and stopped in front of him. You and the girls stopped behind Jihye. The man had to be the SM delegate, judging by how two men stepped forward from behind him as soon as you approached.

“Are the cars ready?” Jihye asked the man, who merely nodded before he began issuing orders to his men.

“Take them to the airport,” he ordered one of his aides, pointing directly at Rina, Minjeong, Aeri, and Ning. “They don’t need to be here for what’s coming next.”

“Huh?” Rina stepped away from the man who went to escort them to the car, her brow furrowed. “No way, we want to see Irene!”

The other girls came out in support of their leader and joined in the argument, insisting that they wanted to see the bitch who almost ruined their entire career.

The SM representative snorted and took a sharp step forward.

“Shut your fucking mouths and get in the car!” he pointed outside, where the caravan of black-tinted SUVs were. “SM, JYP, YG, and even HYBE have done miracles to be here and clean up the mess that damn bitch made,” he jerked his chin at Minjeong, who cowered in fear and embarrassment.

“Hey!” yelled Aeri, stepping forward and facing the man. “Watch your fucking mouth, you piece of shit!”

You were about to come to Minjeong’s defense as well, but Jihye grabbed your hoodie from behind like you were a little kid.

“It’s okay, girls,” she said, stepping between you and the man, and motioning for Aeri to get away. "Get in the car and behave yourselves. We'll all be meeting up soon."

You wanted to hold onto that as a comfort to them, but you got the slightest bit of a feeling that she didn't quite believe what she was saying. Rina, however, being the responsible person she was, gathered her entire troop together and nodded at them reassuringly. The four of them then hugged you and Jihye.

"Good luck, guys," Rina said, hugging you.

“Thank you, Jiminie,” you said, hugging her back with a few pats on the back.

By the time you and she pulled away, Minjeong and Jihye were still hugging each other for a little longer than you expected.

“Thank you for saving me, unnie…” you heard Minjeong say in a soft voice. “Even though I don’t deserve it.”

Jihye didn’t respond, just closed her eyes and let out a heavy breath. Minjeong stepped away from her a second later, and joined the rest of the girls in letting the man lead them to the car. You had no choice but to watch as they entered and disappeared from your sight behind the tinted windows.

“Very well,” the man continued, as the car carrying the girls pulled away. “The matters discussed at the meeting have already been handled,” he nodded at you. “Does he know all the details?”

"He knows enough," Jihye replied flatly.

That felt like a pang in your heart. Aren't you two supposed to...?

"W-what?" you said to yourself.

"Let's go to the other hangar then," the man nodded, and motioned for Jihye to go with another guy. Then he looked at you. "You'll go with him."

He pointed to a different man, shorter and visibly younger. From the quality of his suit and the classy air he carried, he seemed to be another big shot. The man approached you, and after a bow invited you to follow him to the car. None of that gave you the slightest bit of confidence, but you couldn't feel anything but a deep stupor at Jihye's words, so you just followed him.

When you got into the backseat of the car it was like being on autopilot. You thought you knew the plan; you were supposed to have everything under control, you knew your part and what you had to do. But those words hinted that there was something going on behind the scenes that you didn't know about, and you were terrified just thinking about the possibilities.

The caravan of SUVs set off towards the hangar where Irene and the reporter were. On the way, the man you went with, who was also the one driving, cleared his throat and looked at you in the rearview mirror.

"Irene has a point, doesn't she?" he asked, in a polite and friendly tone of voice. The complete opposite of the SM representative.

Now you weren't just stunned by what had happened, but by that statement as well. The combination didn't let you answer.

"Be honest," he continued, now looking straight ahead. "Don't you think the industry is too cruel to aspiring boys and girls?"

"Uh..."

"I understand that part of the product is formed based on building a parasocial relationship with the fans," he interrupted you, answering his own question. “Honestly it’s cruel even for them. But I like to think that even with all the negatives…” he paused slightly. “The industry has done more good than harm.”

Noticing that he got a little carried away by his thoughts, the man glanced at you in the rearview mirror again and let out a small, embarrassed laugh.

“I apologize, buddy,” he said. “I’m Lee Gunwook, the JYP representative. And well, JYP himself shares the same vision: he just wants to make good progress in the industry for everyone involved.”

“I’m not surprised,” you said finally, looking out the window at the runways. “He looks like an open-minded man.”

Gunwook let out another laugh.

“You have no idea,” he replied. “But I go back to my question: don’t you think Irene has a point even though her methods weren’t the most ethical?”

The hatred and anger you felt towards Irene made your blood boil, but you had to be honest with yourself.

“Yeah,” you said quietly, just enough for him to hear.

He grinned from ear to ear.

��Alright, then you’ll need this and keep your mouth shut during the meeting.”

Gunwook reached into the glove compartment of the car and pulled out a visibly new phone. He handed it to you and you took it. It was a Samsung, you didn’t know which one exactly, but it was certainly a lot better than your current phone.

“Uh… well, I’ll need some time to get all the contacts and pictures from my phone onto this one.”

“Ah, you don’t have to worry about that, it’s already taken care of.”

He pulled his phone out from between his legs and fiddled with it. A few seconds later your current phone completely lost signal, and the new phone turned on displaying the Samsung logo.

“May I know what the hell you did, Lee Gunwook?” You asked, seeing that there was absolutely nothing on your phone, no pictures, no contacts, no working mobile network.

“The number is the same, so I don’t think you need to worry about giving a new one to anyone,” he said, as if that was your biggest concern at the moment.

The caravan stopped a few moments later, and by that point you had already realized the immense amount of power that the people involved in this whole situation had. It was kinda scary.

Before getting out of the car, Gunwook turned around to look at you directly and not through the rearview mirror.

"By the way, thanks for taking such good care of the ITZY girls," he told you, with a sincerity that you recognized. "I have a soft spot for them because well, I recruited them years ago," he smiled proudly. "But well, let me and Noze take care of you, please."

Gunwook then opened the door to the snake pit, and you got out of the car with him.

That hangar did look like it had been used recently; it had nothing to do with the previous one. In this one the white floor was perfectly polished and shiny, and it reflected the multiple rows of white lights hanging across the room. The men in suits, you and Noze walked inside.

Inside were Irene and the bastard, and damn, you wished you could have pulled out your phone to photograph Irene’s face as she realized how much firepower Jihye had gathered in such a short time. You approached the two of them in quick steps.

“I see I made a mistake in underestimating such a wonderful woman,” Irene said when you stopped, a tone of affection in her voice and a weak smile on her face. “I should have been more cautious.”

As much as you wanted to crucify her and the other jerk, you couldn’t help but nod discreetly. Jihye just avoided her gaze and crossed her arms, looking up and down one of the hangar walls.

The SM representative quickly stood between them, hands behind his back.

“You are not going to speak to her, Bae Joohyun,” he said, stern. “There are far more important people here right now that you and your pathetic accomplice need to talk to.”

He waved his hand and with almost robotic efficiency, four men began setting up folding chairs and tables for everyone to sit at. The tables ended up pushed together, forming a long single table that looked typical of a boardroom. Irene and the reporter took the seats at one end, and you sat on the right side, between Jihye on your right and Gunwook on your left.

You looked at Jihye and examined her face for a moment. She didn’t seem nervous, or scared. Rather, she looked somewhat calm and impatient at the same time, as if she just wanted to grab her stuff, run away from there, and disappear. You understood that feeling, so you took her hand under the table.

But to your surprise, she didn’t reciprocate even though she always did. And you, after feeling another pang in your heart, let go of her hand and looked down at the table.

"Well, gentlemen," the SM representative began from the other side of the table. "I don't need to remind you why we're here." His gaze went to Irene and the reporter. "I respect your ambition, really. No one had ever managed to get the big companies to collaborate like this. So tell me, Bae Joohyun, what are you trying to achieve?"

"Hey!" the reporter shouted with a bang on the table, butting in. "She's not the only one you're negotiating with!"

The men in suits burst into laughter, Gunwook at your side in a somewhat more discreet manner. You and Jihye weren't amused in the slightest, in fact you didn't even understand why they were laughing so haughty and creepy.

The SM representative raised a hand, and silence fell again at the table.

"I'm afraid you're wrong," he said, still between small traces of laughter. "This isn't a negotiation. You're not even worthy of attention, mine or whoever else's at this table."

"I have the power here!" the reporter shouted back, very sure of his words. "I don't care what she says. I have the photos and enough information about the spa's clientele to have all of you in my pocket!"

"Oh yeah?" the SM delegate chuckled. "If you feel that powerful then go ahead and do it. Send your pathetic photos and publish your pathetic article. We won't stop you."

You looked up from the table and frowned at both the delegate and the reporter. Then you looked at Jihye, but again, she didn't seem the least bit fazed. You searched for her gaze to demand an explanation, but she avoided you. Lastly you looked at Irene, who did share the same terrified look as you.

The reporter pulled out his phone, causing absolute silence inside the hangar. Tension and uncertainty filled the air, but the only sources seemed to be you and Irene. The rest of the men, including Jihye, didn't seem worried. They looked more like orcas having fun with their prey before tearing it apart.

Minutes later the man set his phone down on the table, a triumphant smile on his face. The phones of the men in suits rang with notifications shortly after. The reporter laughed, thinking he had won the battle.

But the men in suits laughed louder than he did after checking their phones. The laughter reverberated through the hangar, like a malevolent chorus of demons rejoicing in the power they knew they had.

A creepy vibe entered your body and made you shudder immediately. You felt tiny. Helpless in that hostile environment where you felt like some really fucked up shit was simmering. A few hours ago you would think your solace would be Jihye, but she seemed to ignore your existence completely.

You were alone. In a deep pool of turbulent waters filled with sharks.

“I’ll spare you from having to read the message we all just received,” laughed the SM delegate, who then looked across the table at another big shot. HYBE or YG, most likely. “Haven’t you guys made a very generous contribution to Dispatch lately?”

That led you to think it must be the HYBE. YG was more disinterested in such matters.

“And not only that, the editor-in-chief and I are old college buddies,” the HYBE delegate nodded, in an exuberant display of arrogance.

“You see?” the SM delegate turned his gaze to the reporter. “I don’t think you understand, mate. What I mean is that you have no power over shit.” he pointed at his HYBE namesake. “That message we just received was from the editor-in-chief letting us know that neither your photos nor your article will see the light of day.”

The reporter and Irene suddenly found themselves backed into a corner, and you had a feeling that the knockout was coming soon.

“Just because Dispatch isn’t going to publish the article doesn’t mean other media won’t,” the reporter said with a nervous chuckle, somewhat desperate to somehow comfort himself.

“What?” The SM representative frowned, pretending he hadn't heard him correctly. "You mean the article you wrote about an illegal and scandalous spa that you and I operate?"

"Huh?" The reporter frowned, confused by that statement that even you couldn't understand. "What the fuck do you mean?"

"For fuck's sake," snorted another bigwig, who by elimination had to be the YG representative. "You think we don't know what goes on inside that fucking spa?" he asked, and slammed the table. "It's ours and we operate it! Through shell companies, of course."

Suddenly you felt like something was wrong with the way you perceived reality at that moment, as if a control tower inside your brain had failed. Did that mean...?

No, fuck. It couldn't be fucking possible.

"Oh, and I should add that I made sure that a certain judge's daughter passed our auditions." The YG representative added, bragging perhaps a little too much. "The good man paid us back by advancing some documents that showed a new owner of the spa. Can you guess who this new owner is?"

It had to be a lie, you were sure.

No, that wasn't the lie. Your job was the lie. Everything you had believed up until that moment was a fucking lie. Were you then... just another fucking pawn? Did they play puppet with you too? You clenched your fists under the table, unable to take it in.

"Do you understand what we want to tell you?" Gunwook asked at your side, for the first time in the entire meeting. "You are powerless. You have no control whatsoever. Just like the idols of our companies."

You were in complete shock, realizing that you had only been another puppet of the industry for much longer than you imagined. You weren't able to take it all in, it was too many revelations in too little time. You could only sink a little in your seat, staring blankly.

“How could you take their side?” Irene asked in a small voice, sounding betrayed, defeated. You didn’t need to look at her to know who she was addressing. “You may have moved on, but the reason I did all this in the first place was because of what these monsters did to us!”

Jihye swallowed thickly and pursed her lips to keep from opening her mouth. She stared at the ceiling lights, nervously moving her leg up and down.

“What did the monsters do to you, Joohyun?” the SM representative asked, in a tone so passive-aggressive that it made your hair stand on end. “Make you a global icon? Make you incredibly wealthy?” he slowly raised his tone of voice with each question. “Make you the face of major global fashion companies? Make thousands upon thousands of people look up to you?!”

“You took my love away, motherfucker!” She screamed, standing up with both hands on the table. “YOU TOOK HER FROM ME!” She pointed at Jihye.

Her words were so heartbreaking that you couldn’t help but feel sympathy for her. If only the images of Ning running out of the dressing room in tears and Minjeong cowering on the couch weren’t burned into your memory, maybe you would have even come to her defense.

Jihye moved her leg faster, and you noticed in her hand how she was trembling. All of this was tearing her apart too, you knew her more than well. You wanted to be able to reassure her somehow, but this was not the place or the time.

And you weren't sure she would have accepted it either.

"So we finally got to where you wanted us to," the SM representative said. "You don't really care about the industry. You just wanted to make us feel guilty and end up just like now. Us here while you express your love for Jihye."

Jihye twisted her head and clenched her fist, visibly cringing at the man calling her by her real name.

"As I was saying," the SM representative continued with a sigh, in a terrifying serenity as if this was just a child's game. "I admire your ambition and your ingenuity. But from a public relations point of view it is much better to handle this matter internally than just terminating your contract and ruining your image," he turned to look at Jihye. "Tell her about the agreement we've reached, Noze."

"No..." you said quietly, realizing that this was when everything would break off.

Jihye stood up and raised her hand, still trembling. Her lower lip was quivering as well.

"I, Noh Jihye, resign from my position as Aespa's manager..." she gulped and squeezed her eyes shut. "And I am honored to accept my new role as division manager for all girl groups under SM Entertainment."

That was the final blow, but not for Irene or the reporter. For you. The multiple stabs in your heart had now turned into one, accurate shot. Betrayal always hurt when it came from the front, but this was like a stab in the back, full of rage. And the worst: it came from the person you loved.

True friends stab you in the front.

Jihye then left your side and walked to sit on Irene's left. You couldn't take your eyes off her, and she knew it, which is why she kept staring at the floor. She was afraid that if she looked into your eyes she would break.

"The four delegates here assured me that they will not interfere in our relationship anymore," Jihye continued, her gaze downcast, kicking you to the ground when you were already unconscious. "No more threats. No more changes in our careers. They will also move to the main office so that I can be here in Seoul with you."

Irene didn't believe it much more than you did. She kept looking at Jihye as if she had gone completely crazy.

"W-what?" she said.

"It will be hard for me to forgive you for all the harm you have caused," Jihye said, a robotic and emotionless tone that led you to think that this was all scripted. "But I know that you did it out of love. We can fix it."

All of that could have been previously agreed upon against Jihye's will, but still, the stab wound hurt like hell, especially since it was still open and receiving blows. So without thinking, you tried to stand up to intervene in all of that, but Gunwook pulled you down by the hoodie and physically prevented you from doing so.

He approached your ear, still holding on to you despite your attempts to get away.

"Trust us," he said, and you had no choice but to swallow dirt and stay still.

"All they ask in return is that the evidence be handed over to them," Jihye continued. "Photos, articles, videos. Everything."

"B-but!" the reporter stood up. "This is not..."

"Shut up!" Irene shouted, cutting him off short. "I'll make it up to you for everything, I promise," she then looked at the SM representative. "We accept the terms."

The SM delegate tapped the table with his knuckles and leaned back in his seat. The cocky grin on his face made you want to jump over the table and knock out every single tooth in him.

“See? Easy,” he said, and looked at all of you present. “I love happy endings, don’t you?”

All the men at the table burst out laughing again, except for you and the reporter.

“Well,” the SM delegate said again. “Can someone take Noze and Irene to the main offices so they can sign their NDAs and have Noze sign the paperwork for her new job which, I might add, comes with a pretty hefty raise?”

Two of the men flanking the SM delegate stepped forward and went to Jihye and Irene, who stood up and were led out of the hangar and into the car.

You just stared at Jihye as she left, still unable to believe that the most wonderful woman you'd ever met had done that to you. And not just to you, but to the girls she claimed to love.

It all seemed like a fucking nightmare. A very fucked up one.

"Next business," the SM delegate said, now looking at the reporter. "Very well, we all know that Irene will more than compensate you. And from the kind of scum we all know you are here, I think that's all you care about."

The reporter gulped and slammed the table, clearly still furious.

"You're not getting away with..."

The SM delegate leaned forward and clasped his hands on the table, looking at him over his sunglasses. That was enough to shut up the reporter.

"Once she's paid you, you'll leave the country, never come back, and you'll stay away from any overseas activities that any of the companies at this table handle," he said menacingly, letting the reporter know that he was on the tightrope. "I think we've made enough of a display of our might for you to know that we're not to be messed with."

The reporter, acknowledging defeat, sat down and crossed his arms.

“Alright, alright…” he grumbled. “I accept the terms.”

The SM delegate returned to his natural position and placed his hands on his thighs.

“Take his phone, give him his plane ticket, and get his stinking ass out of here,” he ordered.

A new team of men went with the reporter and escorted him out of the hangar, in a not-so-gentle manner. You could almost say they kicked his ass out.

All the shock caused by Jihye’s betrayal made you ignore the fact that you were now alone in the snake pit. You only took it in when the SM delegate locked his gaze on you.

“And finally, the last matter,” he said, and looked you up and down as if you were a piece of shit. “What do we do with this upstart who doesn’t know his place? We let him fuck our idols, we pay for his fucking plane ticket, and how does he pay us back? By getting us into this fucking mess.”

Before you could open your mouth and bring up how sharp your tongue felt at the moment, Gunwook poked you in the thigh to shut you up.

“Come on, Sanghyeok,” Gunwook said. “Why torture the poor guy? We’ve all already agreed on what we’d do with him.” He looked at you. “I’d also say we owe him a pat on the back, don’t you think? He took care of our idols as discreetly as he could and made sure this whole thing stayed under our control.”

“Gunwook!” the HYBE manager complained with a chuckle. “It would have been fun to see him squirm a bit before we told him what we had planned for him.”

The anger you felt at how those bastards talked about you like you were a toy made your blood boil like hot lava. But that only made you realize that that was just a portion of what both trainees and idols must have felt over the years.

They were trash. You were surrounded by fucking trash. Scum that didn't deserve the slightest bit of respect. They disgusted you.

"I guess you have a point, and I'm already tired of being here." Sanghyeok, the SM representative, admitted, then looked at you. "Alright kid, you have two options: you can sign the NDAs we have right here and never interact with any idols ever again..."

"I don't think we need to tell you what would happen to you if you broke that agreement," the HYBE representative added, to which you didn't even look at him.

"Or," Sanghyeok continued. “You can run your own contracting company focused on cultural integration and consultation. Of course this will all be a facade, for you to solve the problems we’d like to stay away from and for you to continue fucking our assets.”

Of all the things you heard that day, for some reason that was the one that left you the most baffled. Running your own company? What the hell was that fucker talking about?

“I’m sure I’m wasting my time asking, but what do you choose, kid?” he insisted.

Gunwook put a hand in front of you and again stopped you from answering yourself.

“Hey, hey, why don’t we give him a set of both documents and I’ll advise him on both options before he signs anything?” he proposed.

Luckily for you all the big fish agreed, and then the session was finally adjourned after two folders were handed to you. The tables were pushed back, as were all the chairs. Gunwook escorted you out, while you did nothing but glare at each of the bastards as they drove away.

"Sit in the passenger seat, please," Gunwook said as you approached the car.

You agreed and climbed into the passenger seat. Gunwook climbed into the car as well, and looked at you after a heavy sigh.

"I'm sorry, I'm sure that was hard to watch," he said, then started the car.

You didn't know how to respond. You didn't even know how to feel at that moment, with so many emotions churning inside you and isolating you from reality.

Jihye had betrayed you, dammit. And not only that, she had agreed to get back together with the person who hurt her so much in the first place. You were sure a kick in the balls could have hurt less at the time.

"Well, luckily everything went according to Noze's plan," Gunwook said, driving on the way to the airport. "I certainly owe that woman one."

You frowned and turned to look at him.

"Her plan was to betray me in the worst way possible and spit me on the ground once dead?" you asked. "That's fucking bullshit, mate." you looked out the window again.

Gunwook sighed.

"Did you know Noze and my little sister used to be trainees together?" he asked, staring ahead. "My little sister developed a really bad case of anxiety and an eating disorder because of that life. But that never stopped Noze from wanting to take care of her like she was his own sister."

You turned to look at him and realized that it hurt him to talk about it. So you politely paid attention.

"It was a tough time," he continued. "My little sister really kept hitting rock bottom, over and over again, but Noze was always there for her. Even when..." he started to say something, but swallowed hard and took it back. "Anyway, the reason I'm telling you this is so you know you can trust me. I know what my coworkers are capable of."

"You didn't seem to disagree with anything they said."

"What would you have done in my place?" Gunwook asked. "Get up, insult every single one of them, and screw everything up? That's not how it works, kid. You gotta be a little hypocritical in this life every now and then. It'll keep you afloat with certain people."

"Are you afraid of what they might do to you for being rebellious or what?"

"I've seen a lot of shit, mate. Dark shit. Of course I'm afraid," he said. "That's why I stay out of the way and work under the table."

"I guess I can't judge you then," you said with a shrug, and looked ahead.

"Besides, this was Noze's idea too," he said.

"The what?"

"Me sharing our past with you. She said she knew it would be just what you needed to hear."

You couldn't help but let out a disbelieving chuckle, and looked out the window again.

"It doesn't heal the knife wound, but I appreciate it."

When you arrived at the airport, Gunwook was considerate enough to walk you to the point where you would have to go through the re-entry process. Before you left, he grabbed your forearm.

"Boy, I'm asking you, Noze is asking you," he looked you in the eyes. "Take the job, and do everything in your power to protect the girls." He squeezed your forearm, not in a rough way, but rather affectionately. "It's your decision, and if you want to just leave we will respect it. But we need your help."

"Gunwook... I-I..."

"I'll call you tomorrow to discuss the details and explain everything," he interrupted you with a gentle wave of his hand. "But you must know that with or without you, this whole thing with Irene was just the first battle. The industry is about to go to war."

With that said, he nodded at you and let go of your forearm to go back the way he came, leaving you with a nest of angry hornets in your head that didn't let you think clearly.

It was all fucking overwhelming. You would never have imagined carrying a weight of that magnitude on your shoulders in your life, and you certainly weren't prepared for it. All things considered, it was like sending a poor, inexperienced 17-year-old bastard straight into a trench in 1916. Maybe you were exaggerating and it wasn't that bad, but it wasn't what you had in mind when you agreed to go on tour with Aespa.

Speaking of Aespa, you weren't surprised to find Rina waiting for you once you went through the re-entry process. Amidst all the shit that day, seeing her was like seeing your guardian angel. A safe place at last.

"God, you're finally here!" she said as you approached, taking steps towards you. "What happened? How was everything? Where's Jihye?"

Your only response was to hug her tightly and bury your face in her neck. She must have figured this wasn't the time to ask questions, so she just hugged you back and rubbed your back.

"Where are the girls?" you asked after a few long seconds, still clinging to her.

"They distracted the fans at the airport so I could wait for you." Rina replied softly, stroking the hair on the back of your neck.

You pulled away from her with your arms still around her waist so you could look into her eyes. She looked back at you, visibly worried.

"I promise to tell you everything," you assured, and squeezed her waist. "But really, I'm exhausted and I need to process all of this."

"It's okay, honey," she nodded, and pulled you in to kiss your forehead. "Let's go."

Rina led you outside, where a vehicle with tinted windows and a driver was waiting for you. You got into the back seats.

“Do you want to go to your apartment or ITZY’s house to see Chaery?” Rina asked you, removing her hood and mask.

Fuck, the ITZY girls. You hadn’t even let them know you were back in the country. They weren’t expecting you until the next day.

“My apartment,” you answered immediately, still overwhelmed by it all. “I’m not sure I can look Chaery in the eye right now.”

Rina leaned in to examine your face in a small moment of silence.

“Does it have to do with your mood back in Mexico City?” she ventured, knowing you perhaps too well.

As the car pulled away you took a deep breath and sank into the seat with your arms crossed, staring out the window. And before you knew it, you were telling Rina everything that happened that morning between you and Jihye. It wasn't hard to tell; you remembered every word she had said to you. Unfortunately.

"Fuck..." she said under her breath, and sank down into the seat with you to wrap an arm around your abdomen and hug you, her cheek resting on your arm. "Sounds like you need a bros night."

"I couldn't agree more," you said, and uncrossed your arm to wrap it around her.

You and Rina took a short ten-minute nap, until you were woken up by the driver letting you know you had reached your destination. You looked up and looked out the window, immediately recognizing the ground floor of your building.

"Hey, at least tell me something," she grabbed your arm. "Someone hit Irene?"

"I wish." you replied with a disappointed sigh.

Rina snorted.

“That’s a fucking shame,” she let go of your arm, and you opened the door to get out. “Hey, get some sleep okay? I’ll be ready to talk whenever you want.”

“What about the girls?” you asked, hand on the top edge of the door. “They’ll want to know.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Rina said. “I’ll keep them at bay until you feel comfortable sharing the details.”

“Alright,” you nodded. “Thanks, Jiminie, really.”

She gave you a loving smirk, and blew you a kiss.

“Nothing to thank, silly.” she said. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Okay.” You smiled back, and then closed the door to let the car drive off.

Going up to your apartment you hoped you could find some peace of mind in the comfort of your place. After all, you'd been gone for a couple of months, anyone would have breathed a deep sigh of relief.

But as soon as you opened that door and stepped through the threshold, your first instinct was to walk straight to your couch, sit down, and sink into tears with your hands on your head.

None of it made sense to you; you couldn't wrap your head around it. You still wanted to believe that it was all a bad dream that would pass at any moment, and that you would wake up next to Jihye in Mexico City as if nothing had happened.

Everything had rotted. Everything.

Between heartbroken sobs you couldn't do anything else but stare at the ceiling, wondering why everything had to turn out that way. Was anything with Jihye real? Did she lie to you all this time? No, fuck, it couldn't be. You weren't even prepared for what was coming, much less did you know if you wanted to find out.

Rina. You needed her. But you hadn't the slightest idea how to break all the news to her; it made your stomach turn just remembering all that. To top it off, you didn't know if it was the right thing to do to tell them everything. That job belonged to someone else.

But that damn person had to be on her way to SM's offices, holding hands with her ex.

No. Not her ex. Her girlfriend. Again.

You couldn't call Rina, not at that moment. So you turned to the only other person you knew you could trust and vent to. You took out your phone to text Yeji.

With that done, you were finally able to calm your sobs. You didn't have the energy for anything else at that moment, even though you were hungry. You just got up from the couch, went to your room and laid there like a sack of potatoes. Your eyes were burning from crying so much, so it wasn't hard for you to fall asleep.

When you woke up you weren't next to Jihye, unfortunately. It had all really happened, and it still felt like the worst nightmare you'd ever had in your life.

But fuck it. You had to face that head on. There was no point in drowning in a glass of water. Things had to work out, by hook or by crook, and it was not the time to be downcast. You would force yourself to get out of that damn bed and get ahead.

You grabbed your phone and sighed in relief when you saw that you hadn't slept too late; it was barely 7PM. You got into Yeji's chat, just to ask her what time she'd be coming over. However, you hadn't even finished typing the message when your apartment doorbell rang.

You got out of bed and walked out of your room straight to the door. When you opened it, Yeji was waiting for you under the threshold with two bags in her hands, dressed in comfy sweatpants and an oversized white hoodie. She wasn't wearing any makeup, and yet she still managed to look stupidly gorgeous.

"Hi!" she smiled from ear to ear, and you automatically did too, having missed that cute cat smile so much.

You didn't even have time to say hello back when she walked inside as if the apartment was hers. She walked into your living room as you closed the door, setting the two bags on top of your circular coffee table and striding over to give you a hug that felt like a breath of fresh air.

“Hey, light fury.” you said softly, squeezing her tight in your arms.

“Do you know how much I missed you, donkey?” she asked, her head on your shoulder. “A lot.”

“And I missed you too, sweetheart.” you replied. “These two months felt like an eternity.”

Yeji pulled away from you and nodded toward the coffee table.

“I brought beer,” she said. “And Lia made you food.”

“Wait what?” you frowned. “Didn’t I tell you not to tell anyone? How did Lia know to make me dinner?”

Yeji made an awkward face and scratched the back of her neck.

"About that... well, I had no choice." she shrugged. "Before I could come up with an excuse to justify being out until morning, Lia came to my room."

You sighed and walked over to the bags to find the one with the tupperwares.

"She and the girls were planning a welcome back surprise for you..." Yeji said, turning to you.

"Which isn't a surprise anymore." you interrupted her, stacking up the three tuperwares.

"No, certainly not." she agreed with a sigh, arms akimbo. "But the thing is, she wanted to know if I wanted to go shopping for swimsuits and party supplies with them, so I had to tell her so she'd cover for me."

As you opened the tupperware your stomach growled, and in your head you blessed Lia in the name of every god you knew. One had bibimbap, the other had kimchi jjigae, and the last had japchae with marinated spinach. The bag also had two metal chopsticks. Everything looked delicious.

“Chaery looked so adorable,” she said with a giggle. “She wanted everything to be perfect, and she was even baking you a cake.”

You hated the fact that Chaery had gone to all that trouble for nothing, but you smiled as you imagined her yelling at everyone while she was in the kitchen. She was just too cute.

“So?” you prompted her to continue, sitting down on the couch.

“Nothing, Lia told the girls that Rina told me you wouldn’t be landing tomorrow due to flight issues.”

You looked down and let out a deep breath.

“I’m sorry for making you lie,” you said, chopsticks in your hand as you looked at the food. “And especially for bringing Lia into this too.”

“Oh don’t worry.” she walked over to one of your counters, where you had your record player. “Just don’t make it a habit. Now eat, your food is going to get cold and Lia put a lot of effort into it.”

Your stomach was growling so much that you didn’t need her to tell you twice. First you tried the bibimbap, some zucchini with some beef. Fucking delicious, as was the kimchi and the japchae.

While you ate, Yeji began to examine your vinyl records. You trusted that she would know how to operate the record player, so you just let her choose. In the end she opted for a jazz classic: Time Out by The Dave Brubeck Quartet. A choice you didn’t expect but appreciated.

She then sat down next to you and crossed her legs to look at you.

“Alright, honey, what’s wrong?” she asked as you chewed on some pork.

You knew you had to be as brief as possible, but in the end you ended up telling her every detail: everything Irene had done, what she had put Minjeong through, why you had unexpectedly returned, and finally, what happened at the meeting that morning.

By the end of your story Yeji was speechless, unable to take in any of what you had told her. A living reflection of what you felt. In her eyes you could see that she was waiting for you to tell her that some of it was a lie, but you wish you could.

"What the fuck..." she said quietly, her gaze lost. "I mean, Irene does have a point, but taking advantage of her hoobaes like that? That's fucking vile."

"I know." you replied, finishing the jjigae.

“I’ve teased the NMIXX girls too, but I’ve made sure to never hurt them,” she leaned back and sank into her seat. “I love those girls like they’re my little sisters, and I’d kill for them just as much as I would for ITZY.”

“Well… I have to admit,” you covered two tupperware containers and focused on the japchae. “That even though I was so fucking upset, seeing Irene so fragile while talking about what the industry had taken from her made me feel some…” you took a moment to measure your words. “Sympathy for her. A smidge.”

That statement caused an awkward silence between the two of you, with nothing but the third track from the record, Take Five, playing.

“So… how are the girls of Aespa handling the loss of their manager?” she finally asked.

“I haven’t told them that,” you admitted. “I thought Noze deserved the right to break the news to them herself.”

Yeji stood up suddenly, startling you.

“HOW COULD YOU HIDE THAT FROM THEM?!” she yelled at you, and you just hung your head like a scolded dog. “The only relationship that’s more important than the one we have with our manager is the one with the members themselves!”

“Yeah, yeah, I get that,” you said, both hands up as if she was going to hit you at any moment. “But Noze and them have been together since day one, and I honestly didn’t feel like going through any more shit today.”

Recalling everything you’d told her, Yeji resigned herself and sat back down beside you to rub your back. But you knew she was right.

“Look, I know we’re close friends and all, and I definitely don’t want to be rude or nosy,” she said. “But… why did you want to spend time with me tonight and not Chaery?”

"Well..."

Your doorbell rang, and with it two knocks.

You frowned in confusion and looked at Yeji, wondering if she had invited anyone else.

Three more knocks, this time louder and more frantic. Yeji then looked at you, also confused and even a bit scared, you might say. You stood up to walk to the door.

"Are you expecting anyone else?" she asked behind you, and you just shook your head with your hand on the doorknob.

Your heart started to beat fast. There were very few people who knew where you lived, including the reporter. Had the bastard returned to take revenge and pay you back? Ready to open it and beat him to a pulp, you suddenly opened the door.

Only to find the four Aespa girls, their beautiful and innocent faces lighting up once they saw you. They were all wearing casual clothes, and you could tell by the looks on their faces that they had taken a well-deserved break upon arriving.

“I’m so sorry for the surprise,” Rina told you with a nervous little smile, before you could say anything, and then held up the bags she was carrying for you to see. “But we brought soju.”

Before you could say anything—again—Yeji ran up from the couch and elbowed you aside to hug all the Aespa girls. They were taken aback at first, but then recognized who she was.

“Gosh, I’m so glad you girls got here safely,” Yeji said, as she was pulled into everyone’s arms. “I’m so sorry for everything you had to go through.”

“We’re sorry for showing up unannounced.” Rina said, and then giggled. “And interrupting whatever was going on.”

You locked eyes with Ning, who blew you a cute little kiss, then Minjeong, who gave you a cute little smile, and finally Aeri, who just made a V with her fingers.

“Can you guys come in?” you said. “The air conditioning is going out.”

You stepped aside to let the five of them in. They all went to sit on the couch. Yeji was the only one who had to sit on the single couch. And you, well, you stayed standing.

“We’ve been texting and calling Noze since we woke up,” Rina said, her forearms resting on her knees. “She never checked in at the dorm manager’s area.”

You and Yeji locked eyes. And you took a deep breath, hands on your waist.

“Look, I know you don’t feel like repeating what happened this morning, but the girls and I are worried about Noze,” Rina said, concerned. "We just want to know if she's okay."

You looked at Yeji again, who just nodded.

"Time for some courage, sweetheart," she said, then stood up to give you her seat. "I'll go to your room to call Lia and you know, tell her you're okay and tell her everything that happened."

You nodded and sat in Yeji's place as she walked down the hall and to your room. So you stayed with the Aespa girls, and damn, it was hard to look them in the eyes with all you had to say.

"Mother of God, where do I start..." you took a deep breath, and brought your hands together to your mouth and nose.

It was hard for you, but you ended up touching on every topic: Jihye's resignation, how she didn't tell you the whole plan, what happened with the reporter, and finally, how she left the hangar with Irene. By the time you finished you felt like you had spat blade after blade from your throat. That's how uncomfortable it was for you. You didn't break down crying again because you had to be strong, but you were close.

In all of them you recognized the feeling of being betrayed, you knew it by their looks, because it was the same one you had earlier. You expected some of them to burst into tears or even make a scene of rage, but no, they were so shocked that they barely blinked. And honestly, it was the most logical reaction for you.

“I guess there’s nothing we can do now…” said Ning, who was the first to speak. She was the one who looked the closest to tears, but she was surprisingly strong.

“We’ve always relied on Noze for everything,” Minjeong said, looking at all of them. “And I think… well, I think it’s not the time to question her.”

Minjeong could say that, but in her low voice you could tell she felt a disappointment so great that it overwhelmed her. The same could be said about Ning.

Rina nodded and turned to Aeri, who had her gaze lost on the floor. You noticed one of her hands shaking. She was not only disappointed, but also furious. You were sure she wasn’t making a scene just because she was in your apartment.

“Gigi, can you make sure the girls get home safely?” she asked. “I’ll be there in the morning.”

“And why don’t you come with us?” Aeri asked back. "I'm the dad who can't take care of two whiny brats and panics easily, and you know it."

"I know that, but my bro and I have a conversation that's been pending for a while."

Aeri sighed and stood up. Ning and Minjeong followed her.

"Alright, just come back tomorrow before noon," Aeri said. "I refuse to cook lunch."

Aeri went with you and leaned down to give you a peck on the cheek. Minjeong was a little more affectionate and cupped your face to do the same. Ning on the other hand went a step higher and took your chin to plant a small kiss on your lips. You grabbed her forearm before she left with Aeri and Minjeong.

"I'll call you, okay?" you told her.

"You know I'll always answer, dear." she nodded, her lips curled into a weak smile. Then you let go of her so she could leave with the girls.

Once you were alone with Rina, she stood up and went to sit on the right side of your lap, wrapping her left arm around your shoulders.

"Well, there's no point in thinking about what happened this morning anymore, but..." she paused as she rubbed your back. "I never got to talk to you about what was bothering you in Mexico City."

Just then Yeji appeared out of the hallway. You looked at her and let out a sigh.

"Good thing you two are here for that."

"For what?" Yeji asked, going to sit on the other side of your lap. It felt good to have them both there, but your legs were going to fall asleep at any moment.

"Oh girl, just listen because it's fucked up."

You hated having to spit it all out again, but you had no choice. You blurted out everything as quickly as you could without letting too many details slip: the incident between you and Jihye, what she said to you and how she even made you question if all of this was fair to Chaery and Ning, and even to the two of them.

Only this time you couldn't hold back a couple of tears, realizing how desperate the situation was.

"Oh honey..." Yeji said sadly, cupping your face with one hand and wiping a tear away with her thumb. "Yeah, it's certainly a fucked up situation."

"God, I hate that you have to go through this, you don't deserve it." Rina said as well, stroking your hair. "Look, you're technically unemployed now, so your career can't put you in an awkward situation anymore. It's up to you who you want to be with, right?"

"Yeah well..." you then stared at the bags piled up on the table. "It would be a shame if we let the beer and soju get warm, wouldn't it?"

Having to keep your new job offer from them sucked, but you hadn't even made a decision yet, so it would be best to keep everything under the table for the moment before jumping to conclusions.

"Yup, I think the three of us deserve a drink," Yeji said, giving you a peck on the side of your head before standing up. "Do you have any shot glasses?"

You shrugged.

"I don't know, look in the kitchen," you said. "I guess I do."

"And I, if you'll excuse me, am going to turn on the Switch," Rina said, giving you a peck on the cheek before standing up and walking over to the TV. "Help me?"

As you and Rina turned on the Switch and TV and set everything up, Yeji came back with the three shot glasses and set them on the table.

“I had to wash them; they were dusty.” she said, standing behind two of you. “Hey, you have a Jenga right? I thought I saw one in your room.”

“Indeed,” you nodded, turning on three joy-cons before setting them down on the coffee table. “Give me a sec.”

You quickly went to your room to get the Jenga game. It was also somewhat dusty; you had to blow it off and wipe the pieces a bit with your hand before walking out and setting it down on the table. Yeji and Rina were waiting for you on the couch, with the three shot glasses already filled with Soju.

The vinyl record Yeji had put on had worn out a while ago, so before you sat down with them, you went to your record player and put on a new one: Too Low For Zero by Elton John. Another classic that you definitely needed to hear right now.

You finally took a seat between the two of them as they grabbed their glasses.

“A little warm-up round before we start,” Rina said, picking up the glass before downing it.

“Geonbae!” Yeji toasted, before downing her drink as well. You followed suit.

That was just the beginning of the fierce drinking olympics that was coming up. Of course you played Jenga first, a game that Yeji turned out to be hilariously terrible at, so she drank the most. You and Rina drank a couple of times as well, but Yeji had to down like six shots.

You then played Two Truths and a Lie, which made you realize how good Rina really was at lying and messing with other people's minds. She had you and Yeji as weak links, drinking over and over again for not guessing almost any of her lies correctly.

You got your revenge when you played Caps, a game where you sat apart from each other in a triangle to throw bottle caps into glasses in front of you, and the player who got a cap in, had to drink. Rina turned out to have a pathetic aim, and the only two caps she managed to hit were more luck than anything else. You and Yeji, on the other hand, were Deadshot and made her drink non-stop.

"Aight stop it!" Rina shrieked, already pissed off. "Let's have some real fun, I don't like this anymore!"

You and Yeji couldn’t stop laughing, forced to stop when Rina glared at you.

“Alright, alright,” you said, controlling your giggles. “What do you propose?”

“Beerio Kart,” Rina said. “But striptease.”

“Uhhh,” Yeji butted in. “I was hoping you’d say something like that.”

“At your own risk, then,” you said with a shrug and standing up.

The three of you grabbed your Joy-Cons, popped open your beers, and quickly set the rules, which were pretty simple. The most notable being that the person who failed to finish their beer before the race had to take off an item of clothing.

And you were just too good; you kept winning, over and over again until you had Yeji and Rina in nothing but a bra and panties. But they, being the devilish and competitive duo you knew they were, teamed up to play dirty and stop you from winning so easily. That turned the tables on you too quickly, and without even noticing, you were the first one to be completely naked. With a hard boner in full view of the two of them, caused by the semi-nakedness of that pair of hot perfect bodies.

"Hey, you remember what I told you the last time we drank, right?" Rina said next to you, with a mocking giggle.

She was on your right, lying on her side and leaning up on her elbow as she played. You didn't hesitate for a single second to grab her head with one hand and shove it down against your cock, hard and without gentleness. Rina took every inch without complaint, until her nose rested on your pubis.

Yeji giggled with her gaze fixed on the screen.

"I'm glad to know I'm not the only one he gets rough with," she teased.

You let go of Rina's head and she was free to pull out for a deep breath. But that didn't stop her from continuing to suck half of your cock in slow pumps, focusing on the race as well.

"God," you gasped, trying to focus. "Enough of the games. I want to fuck you two."

Rina pulled you out of her mouth and looked up to share a small smirk with Yeji.

"There's just one little problem with that, sweetheart," Yeji said. "Neither of us are completely naked yet."

"You have to earn it," Rina added, giving your cock a peck before focusing completely on the race.

They had you in constant agony to win race after race, as they kept playing dirty like the vile rats they were. In some races Rina kept sucking your cock, moaning on purpose just to drive you crazy. In others Yeji masturbated while downing the beer, knowing that her cold hand would make you shiver.

In another race they took it further and took advantage of your weakness for pretty feet, and both of them put their legs up on the couch just to alternate from side to side and give you footjobs. At times it was just Rina's feet, at others it was just Yeji's, but the craziest you went was when they used their feet at the same time to stimulate every part of your cock.

Eventually that pace became unsustainable for them, and it only took one short moment of extreme concentration for you to finally win that race.

As soon as you crossed the finish line and knew victory was yours, you threw the joycon on the table and grabbed Yeji's legs by the calves to shove one of her feet into your mouth.

"About time you got serious, huh?" Yeji teased, reaching behind her back to take off her bra and free her pair of nice perky tits.

"It only took him four races." Rina laughed beside you, caressing your balls with her toes.

After sucking, licking and kissing both the soles of Yeji's feet and her toes, you helped her take off her panties and then went to repeat the process with Rina, who had already taken off both her bra and panties and was waiting for you with her pretty feet up.

Yeji settled herself on the couch and positioned her head facing you, lying on top of your left thigh to take your cock in her hand and take it into her mouth. You, meanwhile, focused on Rina's soft, pretty feet, caressing the tops of her thighs and moving up to grab her tits with strong squeezes.

Having had your fill of her feet, you moved away and she adopted the same position on the couch as Yeji, her arm over your thigh to pepper the side of your cock with kisses and licks while Yeji sucked the tip up and down, pumping it faster and sloppier. Rina followed that trend as soon as it was her turn to have you inside her mouth, only she took in more inches with each pump, until soon your cock was soaked in a combination of both of their thick saliva.

You extended both arms out to the sides and ran your hands down their delicious bodies. Your caresses went from their backs, down their arms and all the way to their hips, where you then just squeezed their buttocks before leaving your hands there. But the excellent job they were doing on your cock made you want to reward them by running your fingers between their butt cheeks and rubbing both their butt holes and pussies.

"Alright, enough." you panted after less than a minute. "Let's go to bed so I can eat you out comfortably."

"Mmm, yes daddy, as you order." Rina said, pulling you out of her mouth, spitting the accumulated saliva onto your tip.

"Are you gonna make me call him that too?" Yeji asked, collecting the saliva Rina had just spit out to spread it over the side of your cock. "I don't refuse, honestly," she looked up at you. "What do you think, daddy?"

"I think you two better get up and walk straight to the bedroom before I go crazy," you gave Yeji a small spank.

"Coming on, daddy," Rina laughed, standing up from the couch and wobbling a bit. It was worth noting that by this point the three of you were walking the fine line between drunk and just turned on. “No need to get grumpy.”

Yeji and Rina held hands and headed straight down the hall to your room. You took a moment, just to pick up the things scattered on the table and turn off the TV and the console before going into the room with them.

You found them wrapped around each other with arms and thighs intertwined, sharing a fierce and sensual kiss that only fueled the flame inside you. They broke the kiss and Yeji turned to look at you with a mischievous smile, while Rina showered her neck with kisses and groped her.

If that was a way to hurry you, then it had worked perfectly, because you threw yourself into the bed like a hungry leopard. First you got between Yeji's legs to get on top of her and lower your mouth directly to her tits, which you kissed and sucked before going up and kissing her.

Rina put her hand between your bodies and reached for your cock to take it and stroke it, now being the one who was eating Yeji's tits while you two were making out. But soon you gave her her turn, directly grabbing her chin to crash your lips together.

In the middle of your kiss with Rina you brought a hand between her thighs and rubbed her pussy up and down before rubbing it in circles. She continued to move her hand on your cock, while you received kisses on your shoulders and neck from Yeji. Then you broke the kiss and moved down to Rina's heavy, round tits to eat them.

Once you had your starter with both of their tits, you decided to move on to the main course. You kissed Yeji again, but just a couple of seconds later you moved down to her cute belly to cover it all over with wet kisses. Before long you were now between her legs, and you grabbed her thighs to push them back and plant your mouth on her wet pussy.

"Oh fuck yeah..." Yeji moaned, arching her back and gripping the pillow behind her head. "I missed that sexy ass fucking mouth so much."

And you certainly missed that nice, delicious pussy, but instead of putting it into words you did it by eating it hungrily, reflecting the whole time you spent without even laying a finger on her. She let you know she loved it by tangling her fingers in your hair and giving it light tugs.

"Daddy's mouth is amazing huh?" Rina teased, lying face down with one knee drawn up as she had one of Yeji's tits inside her mouth. "I had it whenever I wanted for two months, and even a whole weekend."

"Mmmgh then I congratulate you," Yeji gasped, gently twisting her hips as you gave her clit quick licks. "But now daddy's back with me, and I'm not going to let you off easy."

"I don't think there's a problem with that," Rina replied, and you listened as they kissed, Yeji muffling moans against her lips. "Daddy has no problem fucking us both as much as we want, right daddy?"

"No problem at all." you replied, and you pulled away from Yeji's pussy to now go right, pressing Rina's ass cheek up and burying your mouth in her also shiny and silky pussy.

Rina moaned against Yeji's lips and pulled away to look down at you, while you ate her pussy from behind and groped both of her soft ass cheeks. Yeji then began to kiss her tits and neck, but she also put a hand between her thighs and rubbed her clit.

You could have spent the whole night between pussy and pussy feasting and satisfying your hunger for wet flesh, but your cock was so hard that it was starting to hurt. As a measure you adopted what they were most waiting for, and the first to taste it, of course, would be the one who went the longest without you in the first place.

"Tell me something, little cheshire," you said, kneeling up with one hand rubbing your cock. "How long have you been waiting for this?"

Yeji stared at your cock and spread her legs wide for you, massaging her own tits.

"Two fucking months daddy." she replied, biting her bottom lip. "Two months where I didn't have that delicious, juicy cock inside me."

You knelt between her legs and slowly rubbed the back of your cock between her wet folds. She looked into your eyes, holding her legs by the back of her knees.

"So what should I do, baby?" You now grabbed your cock and rubbed the tip up and down, teasing her entrance.

"Fuck me so hard that I can't walk properly tomorrow?" she asked with a moan. "Please? Please daddy, please!"

Not wanting to see her whimper anymore in pleas you grabbed your cock and finally pressed it forward. Yeji's tight pussy met you with only a little resistance, but within seconds you were burying yourself inch by inch inside her.

"Mmmgh yeah daddy put it all inside me!" she moaned, looking straight into your eyes, before you gave one last hard thrust to take your entire length all the way in. "Fuck!! Yes!!"

With your cock resting all the way in her pussy you let out a satisfied moan, realizing how much you truly missed her. It felt like picking up an addiction, and this was a dangerous one.

You removed Yeji's hands from behind her knees and replaced them with your own, pressing her legs back as you gave her the first few slow thrusts, which did nothing but make you both moan equally. Rina made no complaints and looked at you biting her lower lip, turned on by how the two of you were having pleasure. She pressed herself against Yeji's side and kissed her, groping her tits as well.

As you began to move your hips faster, you let go of Yeji's legs and leaned forward to plant them on either side of her torso, getting a close-up view of her and Rina swirling their tongues together and kissing. Rina then pulled away from Yeji's lips and raised her back enough to reach yours. You gladly accepted the kiss, but you also went harder on Yeji.

"Oh fuck fuck fuck!!" Yeji whimpered, your cock going all the way in and out of her tight walls and shaking her back and forth. "Harder daddy! Harder!! Yes!!"

You were forced to pull away from Rina's lips so you could focus entirely on Yeji. You straightened your back, and grabbed her legs to bring them together, holding her thighs and pressing them fully against her upper body. You were now thrusting hard up and down, filling your room with the sounds of flesh slapping together.

"Mmmmgh!!" Yeji squealed, biting the side of one hand and gripping the sheets beneath her with the other. She then released the hand she was biting and swatted it back to the bed to grab the sheet with it as well before arching her back. "Yesss!! FUCK!!"

After a few more thrusts Yeji exploded in spasms and violent contractions, covering her mouth with one hand to stifle screams of pleasure against it. Rina watched every detail with dilated pupils, eager and needing you to fuck her that hard too.

"You want that too, baby?" you asked Rina, slowly pumping in and out of Yeji's pussy as her orgasm passed.

"Yes daddy!" she answered immediately, and she followed your gaze as you pulled out of Yeji and got on top of her. "Use your pretty cumslut and fill her up, please!"

You adjusted your knees on either side of Rina's hips and sat on her thighs, squeezing her ass cheeks sideways to reveal her butthole and pussy, where you brought your hand up to rub a few times up and down. You first brought your thumb inside her pussy, and then pressed it against her butthole to get it halfway in.

"Stop playing around and fuck me already." Rina moaned, lifting her hips impatiently to rub her ass cheeks against your cock.

"You'll have me all night, why are you in such a hurry, baby?" you asked, your thumb now fully inside her ass.

"Because I'm so fucking wet!" she protested with a squeal, fingers gripping the sheets.

"You're just being a whiny bitch." Yeji said from the side, already recovered from her orgasm. "Daddy, should I make her shut up?"

"Go ahead." You nodded, pulling your thumb out of Rina's ass to now bring your index and middle fingers inside her pussy.

Rina moaned, watching as Yeji positioned herself in front of her with her legs spread and her pussy right in front of her face. Yeji didn't even ask for permission, she just grabbed Rina by the hair and sank her mouth against her pussy.

"Mmmgh," Yeji moaned, fingers tangled in Rina's dark strands. "That's so much better."

Teasing Rina was so much fun, and as she ate Yeji's pussy you pumped your fingers at a torturously slow pace for her. She wasn't complaining anymore, but she still desperately twisted her hips upward, looking for any kind of friction with your cock that would make you want to penetrate her already..

You put that moment off for a few seconds, as her pussy looked especially juicy and pretty that night. Watching your fingers enter and then come out soaked and shiny was too hot to ignore, and you kept pumping them slowly until you couldn't take it anymore and grabbed your cock to take it inside her.

That took Rina by surprise. She pulled the sheets under her hands and squealed against Yeji's pussy, with your cock almost completely inside her already. You had never fucked her prone bone, and that was your perfect opportunity to do so.

Sensing that she was intending to pull away, Yeji caught Rina's head between her thighs and squeezed to hold her back. Rina had no choice but to hold onto Yeji's legs with her hands, eating her out as much as her own moans would allow.

"What are you waiting for to fuck the brains out of the whiny brat, daddy?" Yeji asked you, looking into your eyes, a sexy half smile on her face. "You weren't gentle with me at all, and I don't think she deserves any less."

"You hear that, Jiminie?" you asked Rina, hands on her waist as you slowly pumped in and out of her warm, wet pussy. "Because of you I have to agree with Yeji."

You noticed Yeji's annoyed look at that comment, but you did a miracle to hold back your laughter. You made it a priority to move your hips faster and faster, your right hand moving up Rina's soft back until it rested on her right shoulder.

As the seconds passed, you began to get into a rhythm, until you had the bed shaking slightly from how hard you moved your hips, both hands gripping Rina's shoulders. You saw her desperate to break free so she could scream out loud, but Yeji showed no signs of wanting to please her, so you had to intervene.

"Give her a break, baby." you told Yeji between gasps. "I want to hear her cute whimpers as she begs me to fuck her harder."

"Ugh, fine." Yeji replied, and reluctantly untangled her thighs from around Rina's head.

"Agh fuck!!" Rina screamed as soon as the movement of her neck was released, turning to give you a sexy look over her shoulder. "Yeah daddy I fucking love that!!"

You let yourself fall forward and placed your hands on the mattress on either side of Rina's head. She held onto your right forearm with one hand and lifted her head to look up at you. All it took was for her to stick her tongue out for your chip to activate and you spit right on her.

"Fuck, you two really get dirty don't you?" Yeji teased with a playful tone, moving one leg to put one of her feet in front of your face. You caught it with your mouth without hesitation. "Have you ever spit anywhere other than her tongue?"

You certainly hadn't thought about it before, so after a few seconds of sucking Yeji's toes, you grabbed a handful of Rina's hair with your hand and pulled it hard to keep her face looking up at you. Then you spit again, this time on her parted lips and part of her nose.

"Mmmgh yes!!" Rina moaned as you hammered her pussy rapidly up and down, visibly aroused by how you had spit on her. "Use me like a dirty whore daddy, don't hold back, give me all you fucking got!!"

With one hand you had to signal Yeji to move back a little, so you could put that same hand on the back of Rina's head and roughly press her face sideways into the mattress. You left that hand there, and the other you left pressed against her lower back, supporting the full weight of your arms there to keep her completely still.

Rina muffled screams against the mattress, completely trapped beneath you. You used her pussy like a cheap fleshlight, fucking it so hard and so fast that you sweated even with the air conditioning on. Yeji's feet were still at your disposal right in front of your face, so you took her toes in your mouth to muffle your own moans against them.

"So gooood, so gooood!!" Rina squealed beneath you, tears in her eyes. "I'm so close daddy, make your little whore cum and then use her as a fucking cumdump!!"

Her dirty talk was just what you needed to feel close too. You knew you were going to cum together; it was some kind of crazy connection you and her had that for some reason always came true, so you let go of her head and let your body fall on top of hers, wrapping your arms around her neck, lifting her head and kissing her as you gave her your last few pumps.

Just as you had anticipated, the very moment you exploded, she followed just milliseconds later. Moans were muffled against each other's lips, between small wet kisses and spasms of both bodies. Rina grabbed your head, raising her hips to fuck herself against you as you filled every space in her pussy with jets of thick cum.

Your connection when fucking was so strong that once you both came you didn't even realize you were supposed to stop, you just kept going and going no matter how sensitive you were. It was a kind of addiction that you both had to notice first before you could stop. In this case, you were the one who stopped moving.

"Are you satisfied with the load daddy gave you, baby?" you asked, giving her little kisses near her mouth.

"So fucking satisfied..." Rina nodded, looking at you with a pair of eyes that to be frank, you were starting to develop a soft spot for. "Daddy's load feels so warm inside me."

"Daddy, can you come kiss me?" Yeji asked in front of you. She was lying on her side, her legs drawn up and one hand on her thigh. "I deserve it for waiting so long for you."

"It was only two months, Hwang Yeji." You replied with a mischievous smile, coming out of Rina and giving her a peck on the forehead before going to Yeji.

"Are you kidding? That was an eternity for me." she said, as you laid down behind her and wrapped your arms around her. "You're not leaving for a while, are you?"

"Nah, I don't think so." you replied, giving her pecks all over the side of her face until you found her lips.

"Unnie, don't you want to clean daddy's cum off my pussy?" Rina asked a few seconds later, as you and Yeji kissed.

Yeji immediately pulled away from your lips and looked at Rina.

"That's an offer I can't refuse," Yeji said, before licking her lips and going to get on top of Rina.

Yeji got on her hands and knees and had Rina lift her hips to put her in a similar position, then she put her hands on her buttocks and planted her face right between them to start the cleaning process. You watched it all with your hands clasped behind your head and the comfort of the pillow beneath it.

A few seconds later Yeji knelt up. She had a little cum on her upper lip, but she noticed it quickly and ran her tongue to clean it up as well. Rina finally dropped her hips down and crawled to lay beside you, one arm over your chest. Yeji did the same but on the opposite side. You wrapped your arms around both of them.

"Daddy has more where that came from for us, doesn't he?" Rina asked, giving you little kisses on the chest. "Because we don't feel tired at all."

"I bet he does." Yeji said from the other side, a hand caressing your abdomen and her mouth on your neck. "And I don't think he wants to waste having two it girls in his bed."

"You're being modest today, huh?" you teased, turning your head to kiss her. "Why don't you put that big mouth to work to get daddy hard again?"

"I'm not telling lies, am I?" she asked with a smirk, kneeling up. "Anyone would dream of having a threesome with the two of us."

Yeji bent forward over your cock with her ass facing you, then grabbed your limp shaft and took it into her mouth to suck on it. You raised a hand and groped her ass to turn to face Rina.

"You know what I'm going to ask you, don't you?" you said, rubbing the tip of your nose against her forehead to make her look at you.

"It has to do with how much you love my tits, daddy?" she asked, and moved a thigh up over yours to rub them together to press her tits against the side of your body.

"And not just yours," you replied, and looked at Yeji as you sucked on her now hard cock. "Wanna give it a try, sweetie?"

Yeji pulled you out of her mouth with a pop and looked at you.

"My tits aren't that big," she placed kisses around the tip, her hand going up and down. "But with some lube it'll be fun."

You smiled and gave her a small spank.

"I like the way you think."

Yeji put your cock down and climbed off the bed.

"Where do you keep it?" she asked, searching on top of your dresser.

"In the drawer of the nightstand." you nodded to the right.

Yeji went and opened the drawer to take out the white bottle of lube. She shook it and giggled.

"Oh, water-based, perfect. And wow, it's half empty." She looked at you. "You and Chaery sure were busy that week, huh?"

"I'll refrain from answering."

Yeji and Rina laughed in unison, as Yeji climbed back into bed with you. She rolled onto her back.

"I'm not going to go first, no way." Yeji said, and looked over at Rina. "Unnie, the honor is yours."

"I know, I wasn't going to let you go first either," Rina replied, and laid down next to Yeji as you knelt up. "Go ahead daddy."

"You can lube up our entire bodies if you want." Yeji said, handing you the lube.

"Oh yeah?" You raised an eyebrow, taking the little bottle and opening it. "Well, you don't have to tell me twice."

It was a bit of a late process for how hard and horny you were, but lubing up every inch of that pair of beautiful bodies was worth every second. It also served to refresh your memory a bit as to your massage skills, as the moment reminded you directly of that first therapy with Yeji a few months ago.

Damn, time was flying by.

"Mmm, I think someone will have to change the sheets later," Yeji said with a giggle, seeing how soaked everything was beneath the two of them.

"And you're going to help me," you said, putting the bottle of lube aside. "Don't think you're getting off scot-free because you have pretty privileges."

"As long as you fuck us properly we'll never complain, daddy." Rina said, and she brought her arms together a little to press her pair of oily tits together.

"Fuck, it's so easy for her!" Yeji protested, and imitated Rina. She had to bring her arms together a lot more to press her tits together, but she still looked stupidly hot.

"Now who's being the whiny brat?" Rina teased with a giggle, as you straddled her torso.

"You! You almost cried for his cock!"

You sighed and closed your eyes for a moment, remembering the night with Aeri and Rina and how unbearable they had become. The difference was that Yeji was way worse than Aeri.

"If you two start arguing I'm going to the living room to watch Breaking Bad." you said.

"NO!" they both cried in unison, looking at you with puppy dog ​​eyes.

You smiled.

"Good girls."

Rina's tits were at your disposal right below you, and you had lubed up your cock as well. You just had to lean forward a little more, sit down, and slide your shaft between those soft, pale pillows. You moaned immediately. It was a feeling you were never going to get tired of.

"God, it even seems to disappear between them," Yeji sighed, watching as you pumped your shaft in and out of Rina's tits slowly.

"I have to use my good genes for something, don't I?" Rina asked, biting her lip as you squeezed her tits and rubbed your fingers against her nipples as well.

You didn't remember ever trying to fuck Rina's lubed up tits, but if you hadn't, you cursed yourself for never thinking of it. It was such an overwhelmingly amazing feeling that you even entered a little zen moment where you had to close your eyes to keep from exploding right away.

"Feels good, doesn't it daddy?" Rina asked with a moan. “That’s it, use me as you please.”

You reached the maximum speed your hips would allow in record time, pumping in and out of that slippery meat sandwich. But you were forced to stop so you could give Yeji her well-deserved attention.

“Come on baby, you can do a good job too,” you said, now getting on top of Yeji.

You honestly didn’t understand her complaints. It was true that she had to put in more effort than Rina to be able to do the same, but the result was almost as hot to look at and perfect for the task. Putting your cock between her tits didn’t exactly give you the same feeling, as you were missing being wrapped up from above as well. But for that, Yeji used her hands, using them to press her tits together and at the same time catching your cock from above with her fingers.

“Oh fuck, you feel wonderful too, Hwang.” you gasped, moving your hips somewhat quickly from the start.

"Great," she replied between small moans, "because that's the most my modest tits can offer you, honey."

But you didn't need much more, and the lube made everything just perfect. You pumped over and over between Yeji's perky tits, one hand reaching out to the right to grope Rina's tits and slick body, also reaching her pussy from time to time.

When you went back to fuck Rina's tits you repeated the same, now having your left hand squeeze Yeji's tits and moving up and down her flat belly. Without realizing it you lowered your hand a little too much, and ended up between her legs but not to play with her pussy, but with her butthole.

"Mmm, what are you doing daddy?" Yeji asked with a moan, feeling your fingers rubbing her down there. "Starting to feel withdrawal symptoms because of my ass? It's understandable. Two months without fucking it must be hard."

"Do you want to fuck our asses already, daddy?" Rina asked as well, licking your tip every time you pushed your cock forward.

"How do you know?" you replied between labored gasps.

"Because you have a finger inside mine." Yeji said. And it was true, without realizing it you had brought your finger inside her butthole and were pumping it slowly.

"You'll be the first then." you said, and you let go of Rina's tits to get off of her.

You picked Yeji up and laid her on her side, and she automatically pulled her legs up so you could kneel in front of her. Her body had small dry spots, so you took the lube and poured it back on as many parts as you could, including her butthole, which you ended up fingering with two fingers just to get it ready.

Rina went to lay on her side in front of Yeji, getting between her legs so you could put their breasts as close together as possible. They wrapped their arms around each other, rubbing their tits together as they looked at you expectantly. You didn't make Yeji wait. You just grabbed your cock, pressed it against her butthole and pushed forward to get half of it in one motion.

"Oh fuck yes!" Yeji moaned, arms around Rina's head. "And I definitely missed that big cock inside my ass so much!"

You moaned too, focused on getting your whole length inside her as soon as possible. Having achieved that, you put a hand on her waist and decided to give her a fuck worthy of a reunion. Rina did her bit by putting a hand between their bodies and reaching Yeji's pussy, to rub it with the full extent of her palm.

The lube made everything ten times easier. Within seconds there was almost no friction between your cock and Yeji's ass, making the movements smooth and fluid. You took advantage of this to immediately accelerate, pounding her ass and bouncing her tits against Rina's.

"Did you miss my tight little ass daddy? Mmmgh?" Yeji asked between squeals, as Rina quickly fingered her pussy.

"Yes I did." you replied with a grunt, your left hand behind her knee and the other on her ass cheek.

"Then fuck it like your life depended on it." she said, and moaned loudly as Rina moved her wrist faster and made it slam into her pussy.

And so you did for the next minute, hammering her ass with one hand permanently on her ass and thigh and the other varying between squeezing her tits or grabbing her neck. She came in the process, but let you continue fucking her for a few seconds until you suddenly pulled out.

"Now you, Katarina Blu," you said, looking into her eyes.

Rina automatically rolled onto her back and grabbed her legs behind her knees to spread them wide like a good girl. You quickly knelt in front of her, and without much foreplay took your cock into her ass for the second time in 24 hours.

Her ass was so wonderful it felt like another pussy, and a great advantage of fucking it missionary was watching her glistening tits bounce hypnotically as if they had a life of their own. Yeji, quick-witted, pressed herself against the side of her body and took one of her tits into her mouth, sucking that nipple and pinching the other.

With her you of course had to follow the dirty trend, which she loved. You spit in her face several times, choked her, and even slapped her a couple of times that made her clench her teeth in pleasure. Yeji, for her part, had reached between Rina's legs to rub her clit with such frenzy that you swore she was going to set it on fire.

Rina was soon cumming in a violent storm of spasms and moans. Her first instinct was to turn around and meet Yeji's lips to share a sloppy, passionate kiss, while Yeji ran her fingers up and down between her folds. Rina's ass was tight around your cock, but you didn't feel close to cumming yet.

"I'll use your mouths." you warned, but you didn't even give Rina time to respond before you climbed on top of her and buried your cock straight inside her mouth.

Rina didn't complain, instead she grabbed your balls and squeezed them as you pressed your cock against her throat.

"Oh fuck..." Yeji moaned, watching as Rina took you all the way down her throat between cute gagging reflexes. "Daddy, I also-"

But you didn't give her time to say a single word either, because you quickly pulled out of Rina's mouth to penetrate hers. Yeji's eyes widened, and her face scrunched up as you took your cock all the way in. The lack of preparation made her cough and gag even harder than Rina, but within seconds you gave her a break, as you were now going to fuck Katarina's pretty mouth.

You sensed that you had gotten a little too carried away and that you were fucking both of their mouths with less care than you should have, but as you received no stop signal from them, you just continued pumping your cock completely in and out of their mouths, holding their heads and chins to keep them still and making saliva spill everywhere.

After a frantic minute of alternating between mouth and mouth you finally felt close and knelt in the space between them.

"On your hands and knees in front of my cock, now." you ordered, quickly masturbating yourself.

Rina and Yeji quickly complied with the order despite how dizzy the facefucks had left them. The two of them got on their hands and knees, their cute lubricated asses raised. Their faces were now in front of your cock as you rubbed them, and they decided to help by kissing and licking around your tip.

"Paint our pretty little faces, daddy." Yeji moaned, squeezing your balls with one hand.

"We need it." Rina moaned too, giving your tip little sucks.

Within seconds you exploded without even warning. The first drop fell on the sheets, but they quickly closed the gap by pressing their faces together, so that the rest of the jets painted that pair of gorgeous faces with parted lips.

"How warm... fuck." Yeji moaned, drops of cum running down every corner of her face.

"And delicious," Rina added, in exactly the same situation as Yeji.

When your orgasm passed they both took turns eating your cum off each other's faces and also cleaning your cock with slow sucks and licks up and down. So you let yourself fall back to lie down and stare at the ceiling. But soon your view of it was obstructed by Pinky and the Brain.

"Daddy? Tired yet?" they both asked at the same time.

You forced them to let you rest for about ten minutes where you only kissed each other, but you continued fucking for at least two more hours. You fucked both of them doggy style; you fucked Yeji from behind against the wall; you let Rina ride you in reverse while you ate Yeji's pussy; Yeji also rode you but facing you, with Rina fingering her ass from behind. You beat all the records for duration and orgasms that you could beat.

By the end, every bone in your body felt like it had been ground by an industrial steamroller. Yeji and Rina were exhausted too, after you had made them cum at least five more times each. Both of their legs were shaking, and they were shaking badly, so they couldn't help you while you changed the soaked sheets.

Around 1AM you laid down snuggled up under the sheets. You played the big spoon for Rina, cradling her in your arms with her back pressed to your chest, and the little spoon for Yeji, who had her breasts pressed against your back and a shaky leg up against your body.

It would have been one of the best sleeps of your life, if it weren't for the fact that as soon as everything was over and your room was completely silent, your thoughts played tricks on you again and prevented you from falling asleep as quickly as you wanted.

It was a caress on your face from Rina and an affectionate kiss on your back from Yeji that made you calm down until you could finally fall asleep.

BACK TO THAT MORNING.

"Oh my god!" Rina protested, with a little punch on your chest. "Why do you keep hiding things from us!"

"Yeah!" Yeji joined in, tugging on a lock of your hair. "Stop that or I'll kick your fucking ass!"

You smiled even though the tug hurt. But only a little.

"I still hadn't decided what I was going to do yesterday," you said. "But spending the night with you two brightened the way for me. It made me realize that the answer has always been simple."

The two of them stayed silent and looked at you with narrowed eyes and frowns.

"What the fuck does that mean?" Yeji said, confused.

You then told them everything that happened regarding Gunwook and the two possible contracts that had been presented to you. Then you opened your heart a little and told them about how you felt about them and the nice times you had spent together.

"And well... I can't just leave all that behind; it's too precious to me, you literally changed my life for the better." you continued. "So yeah... I'll take the job."

"Wahhh!!" the two of them squealed in happiness, and shook you between kisses.

"Yeah, yeah," you laughed, receiving kisses on both sides of your face. "Besides..." you looked at Rina. "According to Gunwook, Jihye's last request was for me to take good care of all of you. And you know I can't refuse that."

"And you know we're not leaving you alone in this, sweetheart." Rina said, stroking your hair and looking at you with a cute smirk.

"Never." Yeji added, also smiling, and gave you a peck on the cheek.

You hugged each other for another long moment, while you stared at the ceiling with a silly smile on your face. After a minute, however, Rina lifted her head from your chest.

"Wait, does that mean we can stay like this all day?" she asked, unable to hide her excitement.

"Nope," you shook your head softly. "Today marks the start of a new phase in my life, sweetie. A new career!"

"Then that means there's more to celebrate than just your return!" Yeji said, then looked at Rina. "You know what I have in mind, right?"

Rina tilted her head and looked at her with a weak grimace.

"No, unnie, not really." she shook her head. "My head doesn't work in the mornings, much less after fucking all night."

Yeji looked at you and smiled from ear to ear, already excited about what she hadn't even said yet.

"Come to our house next week for a pool party!" she said. "You and the Aespa girls. All five of you are fully invited, and I insist."

"I'm in!" Rina said immediately, a bright smile on her face as well before looking at you. "Come on, say you're in too!"

"You say that like you're going to accept another answer." you chuckled.

"Indeed, we weren't going to accept another answer." Yeji said.

Rina sat up, her bare back facing you.

"Wait a minute," she said. "Will this pool party be anything like Twice's legendary pool parties?"

Twice legendary pool parties? Now that was something you didn’t expect to hear. Literally never.

Yeji laughed and sat up too, and you swore to god you wanted to take a picture of that pair of gorgeous backs covered in gorgeous long hair and frame it.

"I mean, we've never thrown a party on our own," she said. "But Nayeon and Mina unnie have told me a few things. And since you know I'm a competitive bitch... I want to do something even better!"

—-------------------------------

Well, I'm so sorry about all that lol. It was also really fucking hard for me to write, but I promise you that everything has its reason and it will be for the best lol Also, I'm so fucking happy to bring Itzy back. I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do. MASTERLIST HERE!

[luveline]

Hiii!! Could I request a bombshell reader x Spencer where someone (a local police maybe) says something rude to her about her appearance or something and normally it doesn’t really get to her, but something snaps and she kinda shuts down/is rude to Spencer until he coaxes it out of her? Sorry it’s long I had an idea and ran w it loollll

ty for requesting angel! confident fem!reader, 1k

Spencer shouldn’t expect his colleague to hold his hand, especially one so confident. What sense would that make, a woman as established as you are, who smiles without a lick of worry nor smugness, wanting to hold his hand? 

But you do it all the time, is the thing. In the car on the way to crime scenes, in the hallways of the office, under the round table. It started as a tethering for his distractedness, when one day he’d wanted to talk but hadn’t had the presence of mind to walk at the same time, so you’d taken his hand and led him to the office. You’ve been taking it at your discretion ever since.  

Spencer knows something is wrong —you haven’t tried to hold his hand all day. And even if you aren’t interested in him romantically, Spencer has come to crave the touch. He’ll accept platonic hand holding. Anything, really. 

“You’re staring very deeply, Dr. Reid,” you mutter, shades from your usual lightness. 

“I’m thinking.” 

“Aren’t you always?” 

“About you.”

“Well,” you smile fleetingly. “You should always be thinking about me.” 

“You’re truly humble.” 

His joke doesn’t land, it crashes and burns; your smile fades completely into a short, sharp line. Your gaze moves back into the restaurant, waiting for the team's food order in silence once again. 

Spencer’s pinky finger twitches across the gap. 

“Is everything okay?” he asks. 

“Fine.” 

You stay quiet, Spencer worries. He takes the bags before you can when they bring your food to the collection desk, two lumps of heat he holds to his thighs as you begin the walk back to the hotel. Tonight, the team will pick at their food together and rehash the same arguments they’ve been making all day, filling in each other's gaps, and tomorrow the work will start again. He can’t have you this unhappy again tomorrow. 

“You’re amazing,” he says, watching you turn to him from the corner of his eye, “you know you are, we all do, everyone who meets you. I know you don’t need me to tell you that, or to feel better, but… I’m here for you. If you want to talk. It’s been a hard couple of days, and talking about traumatic events as they happen and directly afterward make them easier to recover from.” 

“I’m not traumatised.” 

“Upsetting,” he corrects. “Having a shoulder to cry on is good for you, and I can be that shoulder. You know, if you need me to be.” 

He can’t know this in the moment, though maybe one day you’ll tell him, further down the line when the hand holding is better defined, but you look at him and you love him. To know Spencer is to love him. Or at least that’s how you’ve always felt. You’d love to cry on his shoulder about what transpired that morning if it weren’t embarrassing to think about, you’re upset over a throwaway comment made by nobody important. 

Spencer offers his company earnestly. He stammers. It’s amazingly sincere, as he usually is. He won’t mind if it’s embarrassing, he’ll just listen. 

You clear your throat. “I know I’m not to everyone’s taste. I know that the way I… present myself isn’t what most men like. People love confidence, but not when it’s bossy, not when it’s– when it’s vain. And I am vain. I think about my appearance a lot, I think I’m beautiful most of the time, I try so hard to have that be true.” You eye him thoughtfully. “Do you realise that?” 

He shakes his head gently, one ear toward one shoulder and then the other, as though balancing. “Sort of. I know you put effort into your appearance, but I also assume a lot of it to be natural.” 

“Right, well. It’s not natural. Not really. My natural beauty wouldn’t be all the beautiful to most people. And I’ve accepted that, I know what I like about myself, and–” You’re losing the thread of your point, an upset creeping into your melodic tone and turning it ragged. “When people tell me they don’t like how I look now, I guess it hurts because I know they wouldn’t like me before, either, and I feel defeated because I know I can’t win.” 

“Who said they don’t like how you look?” Spencer asks, confused, on his way to annoyed. 

“Officer Friendly.” You look to your shoes, watching the steps you take. “Guess he wasn’t as nice as we thought.” 

“What did he say to you?” 

You shrug. “Same story. He doesn’t like girls who wear makeup. Doesn’t like uppity women.” 

“Did he call you that?” 

“What are you gonna do if he did?” you ask without malice. 

“Morgan’s teaching me self defence for a reason.” You smile at his light joke, though it doesn’t last. He transfers the takeout bags into one hand, the other held out to you, his fingers sliding down your arm to your wrist. “You know you’re beautiful, with or without makeup. And you’re not uppity, you’re out of his league. There’s a difference.” 

“You’re flirting with me.” 

“No.” He wishes he had the wherewithal sometimes, but this isn’t flirting. “I’m being honest with you. Men like that don’t like you because they know they’ll never, ever have you, or anyone like you. There isn’t anyone like you,” he adds, sliding his hand into yours. 

He squeezes all your fingers together twice in quick succession. 

“Don’t let a jealous chauvinist halfwit make you think you’re not good enough,” he says. 

You curl your fingers around his before he can take his hand back. Slowly, you squeeze his hand. Then, smiling, you let him go. 

“I’ve never heard you say something mean like that,” you say. “Halfwit. That’s crass.” 

“I was going to say he’s an asshole, if that’s better.” 

Your laugh echoes off of the sidewalk. “That’s perfect. Say something meaner.” 

The insult he uses next doesn’t bear repeating. 

[gghostwriter]

Out of Sunshine

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary: Having forgotten your dinner date, Spencer comforts his usually sunshine girlfriend Trope:Fluff & Comfort w.c: 1.2k a/n: been very overwhelmed with responsibilities and wants lately that I just needed to write a self-indulgent fic. Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated! 💗 masterlist

Spencer’s knock on your apartment door was met with silence. It was a starry Friday night and he had arranged a dinner reservation with you, his girlfriend for a year and a half, to the newly opened French restaurant along the main street. With a certain spring in his step, he settled with Hotch, and by extension the team, that he couldn’t be disturbed unless an emergency case comes in—something he silently wished not to happen. He had also picked up a bouquet of your favorites from the local florist. An array of whites that reminded him of the dress he first saw you wearing at the park.

He knocked again, ears straining to hear anything behind the dark wooden door. There was nothing. He balanced the bouquet on one hand and reached for the phone inside his satchel. It was quite unlike you to not answer the door.

The number you dialed is either unattended—

“Strange,” he muttered under his breath. During his morning phone call with you, a much needed routine to tide him through the macabre of his job, you sounded so excited about the dinner he’d planned and had even promised to wear the same white dress that had plagued his eidetic memory. He chuckled in reply before asking any plans for the day. There was a slight pause on your end, no doubt thinking of ways to pass time before night winds down, and you answer—

The studio, he remembered. You mentioned passing by your art studio to occupy time. He sighed in relief as he enters his vintage blue car parked on the the sidewalk, bouquet placed securely on the passenger seat. The clock on the dashboard tells him there’s still time to make it to the reservation, granted he wasn’t sure if you were ready to go.

A non-descriptive tune played from the radio as he turned left to enter the designated parking space of your studio building. It was a mixture of soft piano keys that sounded like spring and sunshine, both adjectives he loved to use to describe you.

When he finally found the courage to fumble his way in asking for your number, the smile that flashed on your face was blinding. It was as if he stared directly into the sun with little to no protection for his vision.

Over the course of multiple dates, he found himself waxing prose about you in his head. The pinking of your cheeks reminded him of strawberries ripening, so tempting to touch with his own pair of lips. The twinkle in your eyes, full of adoration and trust, made him feel strong and protective—like he was some kind of crow guarding his loot of sparkling treasure. And the bounce in your step wherever you’d go had him envisioning a sprig of wildflowers growing from each footprint, the nymph of his very own Spring.

He let himself in the studio, grateful you’ve trusted him with a spare key. “Sunshine,” he called out.

The light inside the four cornered room was on, windows all open for the paint fumes to escape, and there you were, hunched over an easel, furiously painting without any care of your surroundings.

He called your name, softer this time, as if to slowly ease you out of the artistic trance. The timber of his voice and his sudden presence led you to squeak in surprise, paintbrush dropping on the wooden streaked floor.

“It’s me, sunshine,” he raised his hands in front of him in surrender. “It’s me.”

Your nose scrunched up in question, a streak of blue dried paint on your cheek, adorable. How adorable you were in his eyes.

“What are you doing here?” you bent down to grab the brush before resuming your old position.

“It’s 7:50, love.”

You swiveled to face him, eyes wide in distress. Hands promptly reaching to turn over the faced down phone. “No, no—oh my god, I am so sorry!”

“It’s alright,” he tries to placate you but his words of comfort seem to fall on deaf ears. “Really, it’s alright. It happens to everyone.”

Tears were starting to build up in your eyes. Your hands were wrangling with the apron tied around your waist as you mutter a series of apologies again and again. “I’m sorry. So sorry—we can’t make it to our reservation now, can’t we? Spence, I’m so so sorry. I—I forgot,” a sob escaped from your throat. “I don’t know what to do.”

He puts down the flowers on the nearest available space, your stool, and steps into your space. Filling it with his perfume and warmth meant to comfort you. He could see how distressed you were—rocking on your heels, hands unable to stay put, and lower lip sandwiched in between your pearly teeth.

“Breathe. It’s completely fine, love. No harm done. Really, it’s alright.”

The tears come rushing down, staining your flushed cheeks with its tracks. “It’s not—how could I forget?”

“Sunshine, it’s okay. It happens to all of us and I know you’re quite busy, it’s understandable.”

You burrow into his chest some more, afraid of separating from him and the haven he brings.

He continued on. “I also know you’re overwhelmed, the exhibit is just around the corner and I know how important it is to you, I understand.”

Laying your cheek near his beating heart, you mutter a reply. “It’s really not—I don’t want you to think you’re not important to me too.”

His hands cupped your face to stare into your saddened eyes. Spencer couldn’t see the warmth and brightness that was always present in his sunshine. There was a cloud of rain and doubt covering its’ greatness. He understood no one could always be happy all the time but it bothered him to see you breaking down from stress.

“Shouldn’t I be the one worried about that?” he lightly joked. “I’ve cancelled on dates so many times and did those ever make you feel less important to me?”

“No. Never,” you sniffled.

“Then what makes you say I’d think that, sunshine? I would never, I promise.”

The corners of your lips lifted up to a small smile. There it was, the rays of sun peeking behind the clouds, bringing warmth back to the dark crevices of his being.

“I’m sorry about your shirt,” your lower lip jutting out in a pout. The air of anxiety slowly dissipating around you.

Spencer laughed, noting the tear stained marks littered on his purple button down. “That’s alright. Why don’t we order from your favorite Indian place down the block? We can get your favorites and have our dinner date here instead?”

“You’d be okay with that?”

He leaned in to kiss your temples, taking in the twinkle back in your eyes framed by your wet long lashes and the flush on your cheeks from emotion—good and bad.

For Spencer, you had never looked more beautiful. The reason behind of your breakdown was raw, intimate, and it made him see you in a new light. Heat bloomed in his chest, like a series of red roses, filled with love for you.

“Anywhere with you is good for me, sunshine.”

Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!

[bluetimeombre]

You, Oscar and Hugh

You and Hugh have stared in the most talked about movie of the year, so, for the biggest night in Hollywood, the two of you are all people can talk about.

[based on the request for oscars night. I had so much fun writing this!!!! genuinely, how Hugh didn't even get a nomination for Logan is a crime! I'm working on another request for Logan and I've got like dozens of drafts but I loved this and wanted to get it out, I hope you enjoy!]

The Oscars- Hollwood's most prestigious event. Neither Hugh, nor you were strangers to the hall. Hugh had not only been nominated but even hosted and you had been nominated and performed.

But this was new. Both of you had worked hard for your nominations. You and Hugh had been on opposite ends, he was the X-man, the Wolverine while you had been staring in Marvel movies since the very beginning, a friendly rivalry becoming of the two of you which came to fruition when you both stared in 'Deadpool and Wolverine.'

Now, the two of you were in the drama everyone had been talking about- mainly because it featured the hollywood couple. Hugh was nominated for best supporting actor while you had a nomination for best actress in a leading rule.

The camera's flashed as Hugh walked the carpet, alone. Everyone noted that fact. They'd assumed you would be on his arm but there was no sign of you.

He followed his agent as he led him to the row of interviewer's calling his name.

'First of all, I wanted to say congratulations on your nomination, your second nomination!' said the interviewer.

Hugh was all smiles, dapper in his sleek black suit and tie. 'Thank you, man, thank you.'

'So, what's going through your head at a time like this?'

'Honestly, not a lot. There's- there's almost too much to think about that I can't think of anything at all,' he chuckled.

'Are you proud of this movie?' he asked.

'I've never been prouder of a project before, and there's so many reasons why. Maybe that's obvious,' he grinned, thinking of one reason he was incredibly happy to be celebrating this movie. 'Not only does it touch on subjects that need to be touched on more, but we had an incredible direction, an amazing writing team and the rest of the cast.'

The interviewer gave him a knowing smile. 'By cast, are we-'

He didn't even have to finish before Hugh was closing his eyes and nodding. 'Oh yeah.'

Almost as if that was a cue, the yelling and flashing of the camera's intensified as many people turned to look.

'Oh, who's here?' asked Hugh, peaking over peoples heads until he saw. 'Oh.'

You stepped out the car like a star from old hollywood as you waved at the cameras and gave them your dazzling smile. You, like him, were dressed all in sleek black, looking effortlessly beautiful as you took to the carpet.

'There she is, the woman of the hour!' cheered the interviewer.

'Of every hour,' said Hugh, the microphone just picking it up. 'Pleasure to talk to you, man.' He hardly waited for a reply before he was making his way as casually as possible across the carpet to you.

You couldn't hear anything over the yelling, or see much over the flashing lights. All you could do is pose as your agent told you to and smile at the right direction.

You were led away but heard your voice be called from a corner. With a grin, you hurried over to Guillermo, the best part of Jimmy Kimmel shows. 'Hello handsome,' you winked, joining him quickly.

'Hello!' said Guillermo. 'Do you want a shot?'

You laugh. 'Do I want a shot- what? A shot of vodka?'

'We can do vodka,' he said, already prepping the shots.

'Let's do it, why not?'

Together, you take a shot and the camera focuses on you squinting and coughing. 'That was tequila.'

'Oh, sorry.'

'No, I loved it. I love you Guillermo!' you call as you slowly walk away.

Any other celebrity might have wondered why the crowd suddenly got louder, why camera's shifted. But they would've seen Hugh approach you in long strides, would've witnessed your grin as his arms wrapped around your back, careful not to ruin your dress.

They would have wondered what he was saying to you as he held your arms, soothing his thumb over the skin. They would've seen the simmer in your eyes and the way his arm slid around your waist effortlessly. You leant into him and the two of you posed for few pictures, offering them like rare jewels.

You and Hugh had never made it official, whatever it was between the two of you. But everyone knew what it was without words. There was only one word to describe the way Hugh looked at you. But you kept it private, he was some twenty years older and not long out of a marriage. Fans had watched you go from co-stars to friends to possibly (almost definitely) lovers. And they loved any crumbs you'd offer them.

The two of you did little interviews, only really stopping to talk to Amelia Dimoldenberg.

'Wait, the two of you are each other's dates?' she gasped.

'Amelia, I literally sent you an email asking to be my date,' you said. 'I didn't get a reply.'

Hugh stood back, looking between the two of you. 'You asked her, but I asked her first.'

Eventually, the two of you made it into the hall, sitting with the rest of your cast and crew for your movie. You all get situated, smiling and greeting any other friends.

Hugh and you were sat next to each other, something every camera in the room ate up. Since the rumours had started, you'd been all the people could talk about, and they'd be making stories of this for years. They snapped every shot of Hugh watching you talk, arm around the back of your chair, smiling and brushing parts of your hair away. Or how you'd reach out to brush his jacket or straighten his tie.

You couldn't keep your hands off each other.

Finally, the event started and the camera's were zoomed in on you and Hugh, which you didn't trust.

'Ladies and Gentlemen, Hollywood's greatest please welcome your host, Hollywood's worst... Ryan Reynolds!'

Everyone cheered but you and Hugh who's jaws dropped. People laughed at your reactions as you watched him walk out on stage, no less, in an 'I am a child of divorce.' and a picture of you and Hugh at the bottom.

Ryan waved at the two of you as everyone settled. You hid your face from laughing while Hugh was glaring playfully. 'Yeah! I know right! Who's Oscar did I have to shine to get my very own hosting gig! Wasn't yours Jackman, as you've never got one, you know?'

The crowd chuckled.

'And looks like you'll be getting one for, yep, let me check, contribution. Hey, win some you lose some, Wolvie.'

You were still chuckling loudly, the camera never leaving your reactions as the actors and crew laughed at you. So, you sat through Ryan's opening monologue as he spoke about each film individually, most with jokes, and most about how he nor Dogpool were nominated.

'Now, my good friends, well, what I like to call my parents, are both nominated for their movie. Yes, applause, please, they're very fragile,' said Ryan. 'Y/n plays a strong, confident woman who is only ever knocked down by Hugh's character and charm. But enough about what they get up to in the bedroom- this film-' Ryan halted, waiting for you and Hugh to stop playfully smirking at him and for the crowd to stop chuckling. He gave it a few serious words, before letting the rest of the ceremony play out.

You and Hugh were called out several times. When Halle Berry came out to present and gave Hugh a flirtatious wink that you gave back to her, blowing her a kiss.

When your friend Emma Stone tried to get you up to dance and you had to awkwardly shake your head.

Or when Hugh took to the stage, getting ready to take over hosting and you came up to drag him off as a joke.

When best supporting actor came up, they had last years best actress winner- Emma Stone- read out the names.

Hugh smiled and clapped when appropriate, but you seemed more nervous for him. A hand on his thigh, the other biting your nails. He was holding your leg, stopping your jerking knee.

'And the winner for best supporting actor, goes to... Hugh Jackman!'

The crowd erupted, but nobody as loud as you. You were on your feet before Hugh, arms thrown in the air as you cheer and clap.

Hugh's eyes, though he knew should be on the stage, fell to you as he pulled you in for a hug.

'I'm so proud of you!' you yell into his ear.

Hugh kissed your cheek, your temple, your hair, anything he can. Still hugging you, he reaches out behind you to shake hands with the director.

You pull away, kissing the back of his hand as he kisses your cheek again before rushing up to accept the award with a grin and a pep in his step.

He hugs Emma and offers her a polite kiss before taking to the microphone. 'Thank you! Thank you very much, everyone,' he says as they slowly stop clapping. They take their seats as he catches the director handing you tissues.

Hugh reaches into his pocket, taking out a piece of paper. 'I wrote this in 2013 but never got to use it, so excuse me if I just change the title of the film,' he joked as everyone chuckled. 'First, I want to thank the academy for this award. To the director, who had such an eye for art in this film, to the amazing writers for telling a story that needs to be told and should've been told a long time ago. It is because of your amazing work I am able to stand here and take only a fraction of the credit. To my agent, who thanks for getting me this job.

'To my children, I love you so much. I hope you think dad's a little cooler now. To my mum, whom I love and know is watching this at home. And to my dad, who I miss every day but I know... I know is here,' he choaks on the words as you watch, knowing you smudged your make up. Hugh turned to look at you and not the room, smiling through tears.

'And to you, my love, my reason for everything I do. You are the real heart of this movie, and you are my heart. My one and only. This is your award as much as mine. And I am yours. I love you so much, so, so much. I could stand up here and talk for hours about how much I love you, but I won't because I want to sit where you are and watch you win yours. I love you! Thank you!'

He holds up the award and blows you a kiss before walking off the side of stage.

You knew the camera was on you as you stood up again and cheered, a tear down your cheek.

Ryan walked back out on stage, this time, dressed in a cosplay of the iconic Wolverine suit. They all laughed. 'Gee, Hugh, thanks. I-I love you to.'

There was an award or two and a break before Hugh was rushing back to you all.

You leapt in his arms as he cradled you close, handing his oscar to the director. His hands roamed your back, fingers bruising the skin there as he kissed your shoulder and neck. 'God, I can't believe it, I am so proud of you, baby.'

Hugh pulled back, looking down at you. 'I love you. I love you so much.' he pecked your head. He wouldn't kiss you, you guys had a plan for the camera's to get that.

Not long after you'd taken your seats, the nominations for best actress in a leading roll were led out by Robert Downy jr.

Hugh held onto you tightly, tighter than you had him. It wouldn't feel right if he walked home with one when you, the real star, didn't. But you couldn't care, you were more than happy to sit with Hugh for the rest of the night, for the rest of your life.

'And the oscar, goes to...' Robert trailed off, opening the envelope and taking his time. He took in a deep breath. 'Oh, my lovely dear, get up here. Y/N!'

Just as they had for Hugh, everyone around you cheers. Your first instinct is to lean forward, holding your head in your hands and hiding as Hugh hugs you, pulling your body into his and yelling in glee. Finally, you pull back and hug the director, keeping a hold on Hugh's hand, you say things to the writers before turning and throwing an arm around Hugh's neck.

You're still gripping his hand as he helps you to the stage, you trembling so much you dare not go without support. He kisses your hand and hugs you once more before leaving you to walk up the stage. The cheers grow louder as you greet Robert.

The man was like your father, after staring in how many Marvel movies together. He hugged you tightly, smiling at you and bowing to present you with the oscar.

You approached the microphone, tears in your eyes as you did and everyone clapped. You waited until you could hear a pin drop until you took a deep breath. 'This is stressful as shit,' the people laugh. 'Oh my- thank you! Everyone! Thank you Robert! To all the other amazing, talented and intelligent nominees, I give a piece of this oscar to you all cause you were all amazing, truly!' you celebrate.

'Thank you to the director, to the writers, the cast, the crew. This story meant so much to me but more to all of you and you worked incredibly hard every day, your talent aspired me to work harder and thank you cause now I got one of these,' you show them the oscar, laughing. The crowd chuckle with you.

The camera cuts to Hugh, who watches you with stars in his eyes, reflecting in a pool of his tears.

'Oh god, who else. My agent, thank you. I appreciate it. Um, thanks to me I guess for being a good actress,' you shrug as the room laughs. 'I should probably thank Ryan or he'll force Hugh to do another Wolverine. Hugh,' you focus on him as the crowd chuckles. 'I am so in love with you. I didn't think a heart was capable of beating with so much love but it does- mine does- for you. All time. I love you more than words can describe, more than the whole sky. Thank you all! Thank you!'

Just as Hugh had, you head off to the stage, taking Roberts hand as he smiles and kisses your temple before leading you off.

Backstage, you and Hugh took to doing the interview together. They clapped as you appeared, hand in hand. Both of you looked dishevelled. Your hairs messy, Hugh's collar tugged and your dress crinkled at the end. Your lipstick was smudged too but you still managed some class. While Hugh looked like he'd been laid for the first time.

Still, you held onto each other with one hand and your oscars with the other.

'Hello!' greeted Hugh.

You giggled, hiding your face as Hugh coax's you to stand up, but laughs with you.

Many serious questions were asked as you and Hugh tried your best to pay attention.

'Y/N you looked great tonight, I just want to know what was the process of getting to look so good?' a man asked.

You chuckled, thinking about it as Hugh hid his grin, watching you. 'The process was... um... I took a shower, shaved just in case, you know, I got lucky tonight,' you nudged your hips with Hugh's smirking, 'I raided my friends wardrobe, found this old thing, it fit thank god. And um, yeah?'

Hugh barked a laugh as the crowd laughed at your antics, you having to bend over to laugh with him. Finally, he straightened up, wiping tears from his eyes. 'Sorry, what a night.'

'What a night,' you agreed. 'We've been celebrating so.'

The crowd again laugh, guessing just how the two of you have been celebrating.

As best you can, you answer a couple more questions before you were swooped away to take pictures, Hugh's arm falling lower and lower down your back until it was reasting above your ass.

Some reporter wolf whistled as you guys went and Hugh gripped you, bending his head to kiss you. It wasn't how you'd planned, but he needed to kiss you. Sure, your lips had been all around him less than ten minutes ago, but it wasn't enough, was never enough.

The two of you took your pictures with best actor and supporting actress. All four of you posing together, when it came to just you and Hugh, the two of you were laughing messes as you angled your oscars to kiss like a kid would with barbies.

Then, Hugh wrapped his fingers around the back of your neck and drew you in until he was kissing you, his lips moulding on yours, hand gripping you and camera's flashing.

The next day, Ryan was wearing a shirt of that iconic shot.

taglist (thank you!): @oatmilkriver, @angstdaddy, @chronicallybubbly, @white-wolf-buckaroo, @th3mrskory, @wolfyychan, @chaimshelii,

[absdoll]

drug dealer! ellie!! reader’s brother is a usual customer of hers but he’s busy or whatever so he asks reader to go pick it up 😈🤭

cw: car sex ♡ , kinda player!ellie , mentions of weed & smoking it , strap sucking (e!rev) , strap sitting (r!rec) <3 that’s it !

also songs are linked throughout this , just to add to the dealer!ellie hot car sex ambiance hehe ♡

“dude, can you stop being such a fucking baby and just go?!” your brother hisses at you, frantically packing for his soccer match. “if i get home from this game and i don’t have anything to smoke, i’m beating your ass.” he rolls his eyes as he walks out of the door, “i’ll text you her address and let her know you’re coming, don’t fuck this up.”

ellie. ellie williams. ellie auburnettetattedsofuckinghot williams. the scrawny masc you’ve had a crush on since junior year of high school. you’ve maybe said 5 words to each other, in passing when she glares at you with her hazel eyes, making you squeeze your thighs together. “sup?” she’ll nonchalantly throw at you, not knowing you go home and ride your fingers to the sound of her voice.

your phone buzzes as you’re about to get in your car, an unknown number.

8:29pm “yooo, u on the way? i got somewhere to be”

“ohmyfuckinggod” you mutter under your breath. you manically type a response, not even thinking before pressing send.

8:31pm “yeah! be there soon sorry!”

8:34pm “all good cutie”

the butterflies in your stomach are swarming. as if you weren’t already nervous to face your going on 4 year crush, she just … flirted..? with you? it’ll be a miracle if you even survive the drive over there.

you pull up to an apartment complex, the 3rd floor balcony lit up with purple LED lights. your phone buzzes again.

8:59pm “this u?”

you look back up to the balcony, now seeing a lanky figure in a black tank top, grey sweatpants, batman socks, and a black beanie leaning over the railing. she nods her head up at you, and you can just hear her silky smooth voice saying “sup?”, but this time you can’t relieve the pressure between your legs.

9:00pm “do i come up there or??”

it’s been 5 minutes since you sent that text.

before you know it, there’s a subtle knock on ur passenger window. it’s dark outside, no streetlights in the parking lot, but you knew it was ellie. you unlock the door, and she dips her head in, slouching down into the seat next to you.

ellie smirks, eyeing you up and down, noticing the way your thighs erupt in goosebumps at her stare. you’re wearing black denim shorts and a black tube top, ellie’s eyes immediately falling to your collarbones.

“it’s $35” she says in a low tone, handing you a sealed ziploc bag.

your fingertips touch her hand as you grab it from her, causing you to choke on your words, “c-cool, thanks” you smile at her, feeling like your nerves are gonna make you pass out at any second.

ellie’s so calm and collected, watching you nervously fumble with your wallet trying to retrieve the cash your brother gave you. and god, she smells so good. her scent is intoxicating. vanilla mixed with musk and sugar and leather.

all of a sudden you feel her hand fall on your thigh. “nervous or something?” she teases. she grabs at the jelly flesh with one hand and pulls a joint out of her pocket with her right hand. you audibly let a big sigh fall from your mouth when her hand leaves to light her joint. ellie passes the burning paper to you, and you don’t smoke so you’re just holding it, contemplating to make yourself look cool by taking a puff. she’s adjusting her sweatpants — and that’s when you notice it. the thick bulge outlined in her pants, her eyes fluttering up to yours.

“wanna sit on it?” she chuckles, grabbing the joint from your hand. you can’t tell if she’s serious or not, so you just giggle back.

“open up.” ellie takes a long drag, yellowish smoke filling her mouth.

you’re confused, but in an effort to not embarrass yourself, you open your mouth. ellie’s face now inches away from yours, her eyes staring deep into your nervous gaze. she blows the thick smoke into your mouth, “inhale.” she whispers.

within a minute, your nerves have subsided and you feel lighter. ellie watches as you shift in your seat, putting your hands under your thighs. “are you cold? i’m cold. do you care if i turn the a/c off?” you ramble at ellie. she smirks, “first time smoking?”

you roll your eyes at her, the car quieter now without the buzz of the air conditioning. “you ever heard of a hotbox?” ellie says, shifting her body towards you. you shake your head ‘no’ and ellie just giggles. “c’mere” she motions for you to sit on her lap.

“w-what? why?” you spit out, embarrassed immediately.

“your eyes haven’t left my crotch since you noticed my cock that’s tucked in my pants. if you want it, jus’ c’mere.” she hits the joint again, blowing smoke towards your face.

she adjusts her seat, making room by her feet for you sit on the floor. you’re on your knees, looking up at her with reddened eyes.

“go ‘head, take it out” she lowly mutters to you, not even looking at you, she’s preoccupied by trying to connect her bluetooth to your car speaker.

your shaky hands move to the band of her sweatpants, sliding them down just enough for her purple, curved, silicone strap to plop out onto her lap.

her eyes dart to yours, grinning at the look of amazement on your face.

ellie uses one hand to wrap around the back of your neck, guiding your head closer to her crotch, the other hand twisting the volume nozzle up, speakers blaring. “open your mouth angel” she breathes out. as your lips part, she swipes her thumb across your bottom pout, slipping the tip of her cock towards the back of your throat. her hand moves up to grab a fistful of your hair, “gooooood, good job baby” she praises.

as ellie bobs your head up and down, you start moaning around her girth. “mmm you like this baby? like my cock deep in your throat? dirty girl.” you nod up at her, causing her to throw her head back.

ellie’s one hand atop your head, other hand typing on her dimly lit phone screen. “gotta make this quick, told you i had somewhere to be.” she throws her phone into the backseat, moving both hands to the back of your neck. her thrusts are quick and steady, grunts falling from her chapped lips.

“mm fuck, you’re drooling b-baby” she half chuckles and half stutters, the base of her strap striking her clit. “uuuuuhhh fuuuuuck” she breathes out.

“f-fuck, get on top.” ellie grabs you by your hair, hands moving to your hips, setting you down slowly on her long, wet member.

“o-ooh s-shit-uuhhhh” you moan out, the feeling of her thickness sliding deep inside you. her hands still groping your ass, slamming you up and down on her length. “bounce on it baby.” she grunts out as she pulls your tube top down, revealing your fatty tits.

ellie moves her hands to behind her head. watching as your boobs slap against your chest. your moans barely audible as the rap song fills the car, “lemme hear you, l-louder” she’s doing little to no work, her hips every once and awhile bucking up into you, which causes you to yelp and ellie lets out a chuckle.

“mm-ahh ellieeeeuuhhggh” “f-feels s’fucking gooduuuhhh” you’re practically screaming at this point, ellie’s eyes filled with darkness and lust, just watching as you fuck yourself on her cock.

your legs start to shake, inner thighs sore from relentlessly pounding your pussy on ellie’s strap. “need help baby?” ellie wraps her arms around your waist, lifting her hips up. she stops her movements, grinning as you whine from sudden lack of friction.

ellie stuffs her cock deep inside you, watching her girth move in and out of you, agonizingly slow. “m-more ellie p-please” you’re whining and she takes it as her cue to vigorously thrust up into you.

“ommm-mm-g-go-god-dduuuhhh” with every slam of ellie’s hips, your moans get louder.

you start cumming all over ellie’s cock, her dark red bush covered in your slick.

your high is dizzying, you open your eyes in a tired, fucked out state to see ellie, again, typing a text on her phone.

she pats your ass, “that was hot baby, but i gotta go.” as you slide yourself off her lap, falling into your seat and pulling your shorts back up, ellie goes to open the car door. “tell your brother you’ll pick up for him more often.” she tuts with a grin.

you feel your whole face start to burn as she slams the door and walks away.

did that just happen?

a/n : hi hi ♡ i’m well aware this isn’t the best , i’ve mentioned i’m struggling to write lately & it shows ! i’m proud of the concept & whatnot , just bad writing gdjdhjsjs . anyways i need to bounce on ellie’s strap rn u don’t understand .

🌙 @whore4abby @enbesbians @hersweetheart 🌙

[le3worl]

“Say it” - jjk fic

—“Look how good we’d be together ____, we look so fuckin’ good together hmm? Say it baby..”

you always looks forward to having date night with your boyfriend Yejoon. You guys have been together for a little over and year and after him being so busy with work he finally takes you on a date. You’ve been spending most of your time with Jungkook, your best friend. Never in your whole life would you have ever thought that you’d be sitting at a table with your boyfriend while your best friends cum drips down your leg.

pairing :: bsf,jk!! + fem-oc!!

genre :: smut ‼️ (little angst if you really think about it when someone confesses 🤫)

wc :: 3.2k

warnings :: cheating oc!! lying, sorta public sex (?) confession, cursing, not choking but hand wrapped around throat, boob play, oral sex (f receiving) protected sex! (birth control), cumming inside ☺️

hello everyone! this is just a random story I wrote that I wanted to post on here. I hope you guys enjoy it and if you have any ask’s please feel free to ask me!

𖧐𐮚~~~~~~~~~~~~~~𖧐𐮚~~~~~~•

“Jungkook for the last fucking time I am not about to ditch Yejoon just to hang out with you” I said to the phone that is sitting on the edge of my vanity as I do some finishing touches to my makeup

“Come on ____! You know you wanna see me right now” I heard him say from the other side of the phone, his smile clearly being heard in his voice. I rolled my eyes and picked up the phone so that I could check if my boyfriend had texted me about our date

“I have to leave my house soon, Yejoon gonna pick me up in a bit” I said before tapping the facetime screen and seeing Jungkook look at me through the screen with a small pout on his face. “Get rid of the pout Jeon” I said and he rolled his eyes at me

“Pleasee ____? I haven’t seen you in so long” He said in his whiny tone, I shook my head at him before getting up from my vanity chair and picking up a pair of my black heels that will go with the black dress that I am wearing

“I have to go Jungkook, we can hang out some other day. Byee!” I said giving him a small wave before I hung up the call. I put on the heels that I chose out and I looked at myself through the body mirror that I have in my bathroom. As soon as I left the bathroom I heard a soft knock on my apartment door. I swung the door open and I was greeted with the sight of my boyfriend

“Hi baby” he said as a soft smile was placed upon his lips before he held out a bouquet of flowers for me. I quickly grabbed them and gave him a hug and placed a small kiss on his lips.

“I missed you” I said as my own smile started to form on my lips as I saw him look me up and down. He placed a hand on my hip before he led me out of my apartment and towards his car.

“You look so pretty tonight, I love this dress on you” I heard him say as he opened his car door for me like the gentleman he is. I quickly step in and he shuts the door when he sees that I'm in and about to buckle up. He gets into the car and starts to drive us to dinner, our car ride is filled with small talk and little giggles here and there. My eyes sparkle as I see the view of the beautiful restaurant that has a lake view behind it. Yejoon parks the car before he gets out and opens my door. He held his hand out and helped me get out before we both walked towards the restaurant. When we walk in Yejoon goes to talk to the waiter about the reservation that he’s made. Once we both get seated, I finally take in the beauty of this place. We sat next to the huge window which gives us access to the view of the lake that has the lights reflected over it.

“This place is so beautiful, Yejoon, thank you for taking me here” I said, giving him a soft smile before I looked over to the table next to us and saw another couple holding hands and looking at each other with love. Yejoon and I talk for a bit while our waiter comes up to us and gives us some wine and takes our orders before leaving us alone. I hear my phone vibrate next to me and I pick it up to look at who's texting me. ‘Jungkook- Go to the bathroom’ I look at my phone with a confused expression on my face. I excuse myself and Yejoon simply nods at me before I grab my bag and make my way to the bathroom. Once I get to the bathroom I simply stand in the hallway before I get my phone and right as I’m about to dial his number I feel a light tap on my shoulder. I jumped slightly before I turned around and was greeted with the sight of Jungkook’s warm smile

“Hi baby” he said mocking Yejoon’s voice as I rolled my eyes at his ridiculous behavior. Just as I’m about to say something to him I feel him drag me into the family bathroom. He locks the door behind himself before I turn around at stare at him

“What the fuck are you doing here?” I asked him as I placed my bag on the sleek marble counter, I crossed my arms before I continued to stare him down. He looks so fucking good right now, he always does. I would almost feel bad for the way I’m looking at my best friend while my boyfriend is outside waiting for me to join him at the table again. He walks toward me and leans against the counter giving me another one of his famous smiles that shout ‘you know you can’t be angry at me’

“I told you I missed you and I wanted to hang out no?” He said simply before he himself looks me up and down, I notice him briefly looking at my hips before he brings his eyes back up to mine

“Jungkook, I’m having dinner with my boyfriend right no-”

“No you’re not because I'm standing right here and I wasn’t at the table with you” he says, cutting me off. I feel my cheeks turn red as he says that and I look down at the floor. His finger hooks under my chin before he leans my head back up so I’m still looking at him. “What’s wrong? Got my baby all flustered for me?” I heard him say before giving me a slight smirk

“Why are you here?” I said pushing on his chest gently so that there could be some space in between both of our bodies. I see him tilt his head at me and a fake ass pout sat on top of his pretty pink lips that are decorated with two silver hoops on his lower lip

“Are you saying you didn’t miss me at all?” he says, stepping closer towards me so that the space between us is closed. Clearly not liking the distance between us

“No I didn’t, I was with Yejoon. Why would I think of you?” I say and I see him eyeing my lips before they make there way back up to my eyes

“That’s a shame because while you’re over here enjoying your night with your boyfriend I’m over here dying. You take up all my headspace, I was thinking about what you were wearing, what you would get, where he is going to take you, and why you are with such a shame of a man and not with me.” I heard him say while I felt his hand gently caress my cheek

“Jungkook, what?” I said with confusion written all over my face

“____ baby, you can’t possibly think that you should settle for him” he said while he looked in my eyes as he only saw pure confusion in them, “Wow you really are dumb”

“Excuse me?” I said before I felt his hand drop from my cheek to my hip. I know it’s wrong and I should probably tell him to stop and get his hands off me but at the moment everything just felt right. His hands on me and both of our bodies pressed together just felt right. I felt his breath gently brush against my lips and I just felt like melting in his hold. His hand grabbed mine and he placed it on top of his chest just enough so that I could feel the faint feeling of his heart beat.

“You feel this ____? This is because of you, I'm only for you. You have me whipped for you and I just have to sit back and watch as you blindly fall in love with this asshole. It hurts me because I have to see you fall in love with someone who isn’t me. I beg you to be by my side so often because it just feels so complete to me, you complete me” He said softly as I felt his heart beat on the palm of my hand quicken. I look at him in shock as he looks down at me with his soft brown eyes filled with pure emotion. “So please ____, choose me. Let me be the man who shows you love and affection. I’m sick of having to tell myself I can’t have you because I know I can and I will” He says, his hand lets go of mine and I feel him brush some hair out of my face.

“Jungkook, I can’t, and you know it too I love him” I said softly as I felt my heart ache as I heard his confession

“No you don’t” He simply says to me before he cups my face in his hands gently. “You can love me and you do it’s just you don’t want to tell yourself that”

“Jungkook, I love him” I said as I felt some tears fill my eyes. My own mind is filled with confusion as I keep thinking if I really see myself with Yejoon. As I think of him Jungkook is the only name thats pops up in my head

“If you truly loved him you wouldn’t let your bestfriend hold you and confess his love to you huh?” He said as I felt his face inch closer to me. He had me stuck, I didn’t know what to say. It was like I’m intoxicated with him. I feel his lips touch mine and that's all it took until my mind is completely made. I love my best friend, I always have. His hands dropped from my face down to holding my hips and my own arms snake up to wrap around his neck. I felt him let out a slight smile against my lips before he picked me up. My legs wrapped around his waist as I felt him place me on top of the marble counter, our kiss never breaking. His lips found their way down to my jawline then slowly trailed down to my neck, his hot breath hitting my neck felt like heaven to me

“Fuck kook” I breathed out as I felt him gently suck the sensative skin behind my ear. His hand trailed their way down from my hips so that they are now resting on both of my thighs. His fingers hook onto the bottom of my dress before he looks up at me to see if I was okay with him doing this. I let out a slow nod then I felt him lift my dress up enough so that my lacy panties were exposed to his eyes. He went on his knees before placing gentle kisses on the insides of my thighs causing me to bite my lip gently, I watched as he slowly made his way up to my covered pussy, my wetness was starting to leak out through the thin material of my panties. Jungkook let out a soft smile before he placed a soft kiss over my covered heat

“So wet for me hm?” He said softly against me before his finger moved my panties to the side so that he had full access to me. I felt him press a soft kiss against my clit which caused a soft moan to escape from my lips. His tongue dipped into my folds and I felt him suck my clit teasingly then letting his tongue fuck my pussy. My hands find their way to his head, I let my fingers get tangled in his hair before I bite my lip and I try to maintain my moans so that they are quiet enough not to be heard outside of the bathroom door. My head falls back as I feel Jungkook’s tongue lap in my pussy. I always knew Jungkook had a past of being so good at sex that he had girls begging and crying for him to come back to them, each and everyone getting rejected. I had even thought of what it would feel like to fuck him or even just have him eat me out. All those thoughts went away once I started to date Yejoon. (sort of)

Jungkook pulled away from my pussy, his chin glistening with my wetness and he smiled at me before he stood up. “Get off the counter, I’ve been waiting so long to be able to fuck you” He said as I jumped off the counter before he turned me around and fully took off my panties letting them fall to the floor. He lifts up my dress higher so that it wouldn’t get in our way. I feel him take his belt and black jeans off before I could feel the clear outline of his hard cock rubbing against my ass. “Shit, I don’t have any protection” He said from behind me

“We don’t need it, I'm on the pill” I said and looked at him through the mirror, a slick smirk placed upon his lips before I heard him take his boxers off. His hand held my waist while the other held his cock and aligned it with my entrance

“Baby if you ever want to stop just let me know, you’re in control” I heard him say while making eye contact with me through the mirror. He gave me a soft smile then he pushed his cock inside of me

“Oh shit” I moaned out once I felt him fully enter me. He lets out a soft groan while his grip on my hips tightens. My mouth fell open in ecstasy once I felt him thrust into me, it felt as if I was being brought into heaven

“Fuck ____, you’re so tight” He said while his head got thrown back as he continued to thrust into me at a erotic pace. I felt him bring the top of my dress down a little, enough so that my boobs spill out, Jungkook quickly grabbed one of my breasts and played with it in his tattooed hand. Quiet moans escaped my lips as He continued to fuck himself into me. His free hand wrapped around my throat before he pulled my body up so that I’m looking into the mirror. I could almost cum at the sight of him fucking himself into my pussy, his long fingers grabbing and playing with the sensitive skin of my breasts. “Look how good we’d be together ____, we look so fuckin’ good together hmm? Say it baby” He said before I felt his grip slightly tighten around my throat. I try to form a sentence but the only thoughts that come into my head are about how good he’s making me feel. I hear him chuckle in my ear with his deep sexy voice, his lips place soft kisses on my shoulder and up to my neck. “Awe, look at how pretty you look struggling to answer me, getting all brain dead while getting fucked with my dick” He said in my ear before he let go of my neck and let his hand fall down to my clit as he began to rub it slowly. “I want you to look at yourself while you cum for me hm?” I nodded at him before my back arched against his back, a louder moan escaped my lips as I felt a knot in my stomach form.

“Kook, im gonna-” I tried to warm him but I just couldn’t, I looked at myself and saw my face all sweaty and my cheeks a bright red color

“Cum baby, I wanna feel you cum around my dick” He said before letting out another soft groan as he continued to rub my clit. I do exactly as he says. After a few thrusts I come undone while he continues to thrust into me. My mouth fell open and my head fell back so that it was resting on his shoulder. Not so long after I felt his thrusts grow sloppy and he came inside of me. Once he pulled out he turned me around and placed a loving kiss to my lips. “God, I love you so much” He whispered against my lips before he helped me clean myself up

“Jungkook,” I said softly as I watched him put his clothes back on after he helped me fix myself so that Yejoon wouldn’t know anything about what just happened. He looked up at me, his soft eyes meeting mine again as he finished buckling his belt. “I love you, I don’t want this to end” I said and he smiled at me before walking towards me putting some hair behind my ear while placing a gentle kiss on my forehead.

“You think I’d just quit on you after I confessed to you? Hell no” He said before letting out a light laugh looking at me with admiration in his eyes. “We can talk about us when you go home later okay baby?” He said pulling away from me, I quickly nodded at him before I saw him exit the bathroom door. I felt a little piece of me disappear as I saw him walk away from me. I look at the mirror and quickly fix some of my makeup before I walk out to Yejoon again.

“Hey there you are! I thought you ran away from me” He says chuckling at me as he takes a bite of his steak. Damn we took so long that the food already came. I sat down in my chair and gave him a fake smile placing my bag down next to me

“Sorry my aunt was going through something and I needed to help her through it” I said laughing awkwardly before I took a bite out of my now cold food. I heard my phone ding, I picked it up and saw a notification from Jungkook. ‘Jungkook- Now that I think about it, you never answered me when I asked if we looked good together. Now I wanna hear you say it.’ I looked up and saw Jungkook standing near the exit looking down at his phone with a small smirk. I ignored his text and took another bite of my food. Ding. I let out a scoff before I opened my phone again and saw another text from him. ‘Jungkook- Don’t ignore me. Say it.’ I giggled quietly to his text before I typed back, ‘- Don’t be an idiot, of course we look amazing together.’ I typed back and I turned off my phone before I saw Yejoon looking at me

“Was that your aunt?” He asked

“Yeah she was just telling me some funny story of my uncle, I’ll tell you later” I said before taking another bite of my food

“I love you ____, you’re such a perfect woman I don’t know what I would do without you” he said smiling at me brightly

“Me too baby” I said, forcing another smile at him as I felt Jungkook's cum slowly make its way down my leg. “So much”

𖧐𐮚~~~~~~~~~~~~~~𖧐𐮚~~~~~~•

Okay guys thank you so much for reading. This was my first time writing smut so I really hope that I did okay 😓 like I’ve said before thank you so much for reading and I’ll post again soon!

- le3worl

I

[aamircoeur]

just distressed (not a damsel) - ultraman, ken sato.

getting familiar with your robot-like saviour after his nth time of saving your life.

PART 2.

cw: brief mention of blood. sfw, female reader. UNEDITED

"hello again, little ma'am." the huge character looked down on you, his glowing eyes acting as a spotlight as he held you on his palms. a purple-colored, lizard-like kaiju had destroyed the top of the apartment building that you were staying at, and luckily, ultraman was there to save you.

only for, like, the sixth time this month.

"not causing trouble again, are you?" ultraman teased, and you just rolled your eyes, making the being laugh.

the first time was when you were on your first (and after that incident, also the last) date with a guy you met at a bar. he took you to sumida river for some sight-seeing, and a kaiju appeared from underneath the waters, targeting those who were at the bridge. out of fright, the people screamed and scattered like ants, including your date who left you to flee for his own safety.

upset, you took a moment to process the happenings around you while you stared at the back of the guy as he ran. without noticing, the kaiju creeped from behind you in an attempt to catch you off-guard and eat you for its lunch (you assumed). fortunately, ultraman was there in the nick of time, blasting the kaiju with his powers that came from the moon or something, you thought. you really didn't understand how he or his powers worked, and you really couldn't bother learning either.

being the only person to stay on the bridge, ultraman approached you after sending the kaiju back to where it emerged from. "uhm, hi," he said, looking down on you as he was wiping debris off of his shoulder. "you okay?" he tilted his head.

"yes, i am. thank you!" you shouted at him, hands cupped to both sides of your cheeks.

he nodded. "okay, get home safe, little ma'am." he said before walking away. you looked at him as he made his way through the water. you thought about the weird nickname and shrugged, thinking that everyone must be little to him when he's that big.

upon arriving home at your apartment, you saw a series of messages of apologies and excuses from the guy you went on a date with. you scoffed and blocked him without responding.

the second time that you were saved by ultraman was when you unfortunately got in the crossfire between him and a kaiju that looked like a dinosaur. you were underneath a separated car door after trying to run to safety, your left leg and forehead dripping with blood, and you were too light-headed from the blood loss to help yourself out of your current position.

after the shaking of the ground has stopped, assuming that the battle has ended, you opened your eyes only to reveal that everything was blurry. an elderly woman was crouched in front of you, slightly tapping your face before wiping the blood off of your forehead. "oh, you poor thing," she said. a tear made its way across your cheek, finally feeling the pain after the numbness had faded away. "you'll be okay," the woman said before standing up and walking into the middle of the street, and it was the last thing you saw before passing out.

the elderly woman had called for ultraman, waving her arms out as high as she could. seeing her from a few streets over, ultraman rushed to her, careful with his steps to avoid stepping on a car. "hello! is something the matter?" ultraman greeted.

"here, here!" the woman called and led her to where you were. shocked, ultraman knelt down and lifted the car door, placing it down on the sidewalk before scooping you up into his palms. "poor girl has been bleeding since i saw her." she added, her hands cupped together, worriedness heard in her voice. "if you rush, we might save her!" she exclaimed.

ultraman nodded and stood up on his feet, slowly moving covering you with his other hand. "thank you, madame. please, go home to where you'll be safe." he said before flying off.

hearing a constant beep woke you up from the hospital bed that you stayed in. you squinted your eyes as you adjusted to the light on the ceiling, you then saw your right leg with a cast. groaning, you took a deep breath before looking around more. there was a desk beside you with a folded piece of paper.

you reached for it and unfolded it, and there was a note in blue ink that said, "the bills have been covered. please, get well soon."

the third time of being saved by ultraman was when a kaiju attack has been reported near you once again and ultraman took you to safety via his palm because you couldn't walk properly with your cast.

by the fourth time, you simply greeted the character with a simple hello despite having yet another kaiju attack near you. ultraman greeted you back, laughing after realizing that he was getting used to seeing you when there's a kaiju attack and saying, "hello, little ma'am."

for the fifth time, you were in a restaurant for dinner that had unfortunately caught on fire because of a flame-spitting kaiju. although you had the opportunity to leave early the moment smoke was seen to guarantee your safety, you helped every person you could to leave the restaurant instead before helping the staff control the growing fire.

the fire department in the city was handling the fire in a hospital which led to their lateness in handling the one in the restaurant you were staying at. fortunately, the five million meters tall (your exaggeration) superhero was there, helping the humans put out the fire and successfully doing so.

as the staff were being interviewed by news reporters, you went on your way to a different restaurant instead to continue your dinner. a few streets down from where the restaurant was, you walked downtown to where the road was quiet and empty, and you just casually bumped into ultraman.

by casually, you meant that he almost stepped on you after not looking before taking a sharp turn. "woah there!" the huge being exclaimed, his robotic voice echoing throughout the evening. you had your hands in the pockets of your jacket as you looked up at him.

"wait, i know you." he said before going down on his knees and lowering his body to take a better look at you. "little ma'am!" he exclaimed, his bright eyes widening.

you squinted your eyes at the brightness and smiled sheepishly. "hey, ultraman."

ultraman sat up and held out his palm for you, which you accepted. you stepped on his finger before making your way towards his palm, and he then lifted you up before holding you in front of him as he looked at you.

"what brings you here?" you asked, crossing your legs on his palm, making yourself comfortable.

he let out a small chuckle at how used you were to stay on his palms. "uh, fire, in the uptown," he explained. your eyes widened as your eyebrows lifted. "woah, were you there?" he asked, worried.

you nodded. "yeah, i was supposed to have dinner but then the ceiling started burning. i tried to help some elderly people to head outside." you explained.

ultraman smiled down at you, happiness obvious in his robotic facial expression. "you've helped greatly." he said.

you laughed and swatted your hands in front of him. "nah, the cook and waitresses helped control the fire before you got there." you said.

"no way," ultraman shook his head. "don't undermine what you've done, because you've done great. i never would've dumped the bucket of water if i had known that there were people inside, and it would have been hard for me to help them out with my big size." he said. "really, thank you for the help."

you just smiled at him and scoffed playfully. "just another day for a super human," you joked.

you and him shared a laugh and continued your talk. "so, what're you gonna do now?" he asked you, now leaning on the office building behind him as he got more comfortable throughout the conversation.

"ah, i wanted to continue my dinner, but there's this big bug that just wouldn't stop pestering me," you joked, referring to him which made him drop his jaw playfully as if he was offended.

the two of you laughed. "what about you?" you asked.

ultraman tilted his head to the side and rested it on his shoulder. "oh, man, i am beat. i might nap for weeks after tonight, so i'm leaving the city-saving to the new superhero called "little lady". ever heard of her?" ultraman said.

"nah, never. she sounds cool though, probably pretty with big muscles, i assume?" you rode along with his joke, making him laugh.

"oh, yeah, definitely. really pretty thing," he said casually.

your laughter halted upon hearing what he said, making your cheeks and ears flush at the compliment. when he finally realized the words that came out of his mouth, ultraman fixed his posture and stuttered an excuse. you laughed and patted his palm. "don't worry, hypnotizing people to make 'em think i'm good-looking is part of my one hundred and three superpowers."

ultraman let out a hearty laugh at this, making your stomach warm by hearing it. "yeah? better get started to knowing each one."

you smiled at him and took a deep breath. your conversation had finally stopped, the two of you thinking about your own things. after a few more small talk, ultraman had decided to call it a night to let his body rest after the fight with the kaiju. you agreed and he let you down from his palm before standing up to his height that surpassed the building's.

"also, if you want dinner, tonkatsu tonki is the place to go." he said before waving off and flying off.

and the sixth time was now. "hey." you greeted, a tired expression visible on your face.

"always in the centre of the tornado, huh, little ma'am?" he said as he had you in his palms once more, walking you towards the evacuation center.

"lucky me," you sarcastically said.

"lucky you, my personal damsel in distress." he echoed you jokingly.

you rolled your eyes.

taglist: @ttulipwritezz @c-losur3 @saeyari @luvly-writer

[enhard]

park sunghoon — “birthday sex”

pairing: best friend!p. sh x fem!reader

: you celebrate your birthday with your friends. who knew that your best friend had a special present to offer?

cw: SMUT, everything is consensual, implied first time, car sex, alcohol usage, unprotected sex, creampie, oral (both receiving), squirting on face, making out, spitting, somewhat pussy drunk sunghoon, fluff (if you squint)

this is so long for no reason ejrisjsjssk

not proofread, specially made this for my wife 🩷 happy birthday love !

————————⁺˚⋆｡°✩🎂✩°｡⋆˚⁺————————

“WAKE UPP!!” is all you hear in your ears while being half asleep. you jump out of bed terrified, then sigh when you see that it’s just heeseung. you refuse to make eye contact being mad pissed that he woke you up like this.

“well… happy birthday grumpy!! you have so much to do today. come in the kitchen, jay made breakfast.” he adds, smiling at you while you’re fuming trying not to curse him out.

“k..” is all leaves your mouth, pairing it with a death glare, giving heeseung the sign to leave. he luckily gets it before you jump him so you start getting ready. you spent the night before in their dorm, in their spare room. you decide to look through the dresser to see if you can find any clothes to wear for the day since you didn’t bring any..

you find a grey hoodie, you can tell it’s one of theirs but you just shrug your shoulders to yourself and wear it. you take off your shirt, with your bare back at the door since you didn’t wear a bra to sleep.

right as you were almost putting your hoodie on, sunghoon comes in through the door. he freezes seeing your bare back like that, and he does stare. but he quickly apologises and closes the door when you scold him to get out.

it wasn’t alot and.. he did see you in a swimsuit before, this couldn’t be any worse right? why is he feeling different about this? well he just bites his lip, gives himself a slap over the head and sits down with the others.

you’re mad embarrassed, in shock even. but you quickly put the hoodie on and do your hair a bit. you go brush your teeth and awkwardly sit down at the dining table.

all members are smiling at you, about to say happy birthday. you slowly look up at them except sunghoon, giving them a smile.

jake breaks the silence by clearing his throat. “happy birthday y/n!! sooo… what plans do you have today?” you shrug your shoulders at him. “i’m not sure.. i was thinking about spending my day with you guys.. if that’s okay.”

sunghoon suddenly chokes on his ramen, looking at you with wide eyes. you glare back at him giving him a “what?”. he shakes his head, trying to swallow his food. his adam’s apple bobbing up and down with his swallowing. “nno im fine.. nothing”. you sigh at him and look back at jake.

sunoo furrows his eyebrows at the hoodie you’re wearing. he points at it while pouting his lips. “isn’t that sunghoon’s hoodie?” your eyes widen again. “..huh?” . sunghoon looks a bit embarrassed remembering what happened before. “you can keep it..” he says, looking down. —

you all finish eating what jay made, and start getting ready to attend a bar for your birthday. the led lights from the dark room are shining in your eyes, seeing so many people there. you notice jungwon and go up to him. he made you a flower crown, softly putting it on your head. you smile at him widely. “thank you won, seriously it’s so pretty!” he smiles back, “anything for our queen afterall.”

you notice sunghoon staring at both of you, then looking away when you make eye contact. “the fuck??” you think. what is wrong with sunghoon today? he’s always so nice, why is he avoiding you now? well still. you brush it off to hang out with the others.

your girl friends are there too, dancing to certain songs with sunoo and riki. you laugh at them by how not in sync they are it’s actually hilarious. then you notice heeseung and jay playing a game involving shots at the bar. you go up to them, trying to lift up your mood a bit. “heyyy guys, what are you doing?” “oh! y/n ‘sup! wanna join us?” heeseung says. “you know what, sure. give me that.” you down 2 shots before thinking its enough for now.. you don’t want to get too drunk.

you start dancing along with the others, enjoying yourself and smiling.. until someone grabs your hand. it’s jake. “hey y/n .. let’s go outside, the others are waiting. we got a surprise for you.” you get a bit confused but you hold jake’s hand tighter, letting him guide you outside. you see the others sitting on a big blanket under a tree very close to where you are. you walk with jake up to them, seeing a lit up cake in the middle. you smile, appreciating their gesture. sunoo picks the cake up to hand it to you while they start singing you happy birthday.

“happy birthday to you,

happy birthday to you,

happy birthday dear y/n,

happy birthday to you!”

they all sing at the same time with big smiles on their faces. the sun is out already, yet your face lights up with the light from the candles. after they finish singing, you make a wish and blow the candles. they clap and sunoo screams out of excitement. you put the cake in a box to bring home. “now.. the presents!” sunoo says. you get pretty shocked that they even got you presents but you sit down in between sunoo and jake, smiling at them. “guys.. you didn’t have to..”

“nonsenseee!! of course we had to! you’re the best.” sunoo smiles at you.

they all take turns giving you a symbolic present or the stupidest but cutest present you’ve ever seen. no in between. you notice that sunghoon didn’t give you anything but.. you don’t pay much attention to him, being busy thanking them all and giving them hugs. “thank you.. guys seriously you’re the sweetest.” they all smile at you, standing up finally. “well, what are we waiting for? let’s go party now.” riki says. they all nod, running back to the building. you’re the last one to stand up so you’re a bit behind.

then..

you feel sunghoon’s hand grabbing yours, forbidding you from leaving. “wait.” he says in a low voice. before you can reply, he pulls you into an embrace. your bodies so close to each other, holding eye contact.. you were freaking out a bit. “hoon..what are you-“ but before you can finish your sentence, he pulls you into a kiss. you two never kissed before, yet you loved it so much. you push your lips onto his even harder, beginning to make out right there.

you slowly wrap your arms around his neck, forcing him to take steps back. you break the kiss to look into his eyes then back to his lips. “hoon.. should we really be doing this?” “what, you don’t want to?” “i do… i really do.” sunghoon smiles, grabbing your hand again. “alright then, let me show you my birthday present.” he walks with you to their shared car, making you get in the backseat. you lay down, waiting for him to get on top. as soon as he does, you start kissing him again, craving his lips endlessly.

“take my shirt off.” he says. your eyes widen a bit but you do exactly as he says. you lift his shirt above his head, revealing that abdomen you missed seeing each winter. only then you realised how badly you needed him, and how badly he needed you.

you move your hands down to caress his body, stopping your hand at his pants. you get this sudden urge to please him. you want to see all his reactions.

you manage to flip both of you over, now you being on top of him, looking down to focus on his bulge. you quickly unzip his pants and take his boxers off. sunghoon was surprised how fast you were too but, he does not mind a bit. you stare at his cock, already leaking precum, looking so pretty, so untouched. you grab it to start stroking him, but sunghoon grabs your wrist, making you stop. “spit on it first.” and you do. that lubes it up pretty good so you keep going.

you stroke him a few times but then you decide to just get over your fears. you move your body downwards, now facing his cock. “let me suck it, please?” i mean, how could he refuse. he nods once, sitting up to grab onto your hair. you start licking at his tip, slowly pushing him in your mouth. you start choking a bit but he encourages you to keep going. so you start bobbing your head up and down, making sure to get his whole length in. he lets out small moans, assuring you that you’re doing well.

you never thought you would do this with your best friend but you don’t regret it. in fact your subconscious has been waiting for this moment.

since he sat up, you can’t look at him anymore, so you push him back down so you can make eye contact again. the way you pushed him caused him to pull at your hair, you don’t mind but he really thought he hurt you so he caresses your head a bit to ease the pain.

this keeps going for a pretty long time, drooling all over his cock getting so messy all of a sudden, he’s even getting closer to cum and you can feel that. you try sucking him as fast as you can, the lewd wet sounds overpowering the silence from the car.

when he’s right about to cum, you pull your head away still drooling a bit. you pump him a few more times with your fist but he actually pushes YOU down now. he needs to taste you right now, and he’s going to show you what he can do. he looks up at you for reassurance before taking off your clothes, one by one.. leaving you in your underwear. he slides your panties off, revealing that pussy he’s been dreaming about.

“fuck.. baby you’re perfect.” he bites his lip, getting ready to go down on you. he starts with licking your folds, moving up to your clit.. sucking and licking that bud so roughly. it caught you off guard but you don’t want him to stop.. you grab onto his hair tightly, throwing your head back. after he moves back down to your folds, to insert his tongue inside you. he whines a bit as he’s eating you out and those vibrations made you squeeze his head between your thighs. you’re moaning constantly like your mouth is chatterbox. he uses his hands to part your thighs again, keeping them there. you can barely hold on anymore, getting close to your release. “cum on me love..” he says between licks. his words giving you goosebumps, you squirt all over his face.

he gives your pussy a little kiss before standing up, now you can barely look at him.. he’s drenched. you try to wipe it off how you can but his face is still glistening from your wetness. he smiles at you to reassure you again that he enjoyed it. a bit too much.

“please fuck me hoon.. fuck me already i need it please..” you’re becoming so desperate for his cock like you’re about to explode. he doesn’t keep you waiting though, he gets into position, stroking himself a few times before shoving his cock inside you. you’re gonna drive him crazy with how good you feel around him. you’re so wet it’s making his head spin.

he wants to fuck you dumb right now. but he needs to be patient for you. he lets you adjust to him and when you give him the signal, he thrusts into you like there’s no tomorrow. he makes sure not to hurt you but at the same time he’s bending your legs into a mating press just to get deeper inside you. he’s fucking you so rough the whole car is shaking with both of you worried that someone will catch you.

you’re both letting out such loud noises, moans snd curses that you swear someone from the bar could hear. he grabs your legs to place on his shoulders, just to fuck you until you can’t anymore.

after a bit of that, he finally grabs onto your thighs, as he’s about to cum. you clench around him out of pleasure, making it impossible for him to continue.

“fill me up..please fuck fuckfuck”

he fulfills your birthday wish. he cums deep inside you, still leaving small thrusts after he was done pumping.

he slowly pulls out, all that cum oozing out onto the seats.. heeseung won’t be very happy about this that’s for sure. but atleast you had an amazing time.

you pull him into a hug, kissing his neck a few times. you both catch up your breaths not actually believing what just happened .

you both help each other clean up but there’s no way you’re returning to that bar. you might as well go home.. but there’s one thing sunghoon forgot to say.

“happy birthday, pretty girl.”

[vanteguccir]

── ୨୧ !　𝗙𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗛𝗘𝗥 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗔 𝗧𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗗

　　　　　　　　　𝒄𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x reader

SUMMARY: Where Chris has the idea of doing the famous TikTok trend "fighting my girlfriend in front of my brothers" with Y/N, just to see Nick and Matt's reaction.

WARNING: Fake fighting, yelling, crying.

REQUESTED?: Yes, by anon

AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism, copy, or "inspiration"! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

　　　༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

It was a typical sunny Sunday afternoon. The family of four were at home, enjoying the weekend to relax after their recent trip to Boston.

Nick and Matt were in the living room, playing video games on the big television, loud sounds of car and guns accompanied by laughter and swearing echoed through the large room; while Y/N and Chris were in the kitchen, the girl cooking lunch for them while her boyfriend was leaning against the closed refrigerator, enjoying the light cold that the stainless steel surface provided for his body.

His hands were holding his phone, where he was absentmindedly watching videos on TikTok, scrolling mindlessly, his blue eyes occasionally looking up at his girl, watching her with passionate and careful eyes.

Y/N was cutting some vegetables when Chris quickly approached out of nowhere, surprising her by suddenly touching her back, a wide smile already resting on his face.

"Babe, look at this!" The brunette shouted in a whisper, raising his right hand and resting his cell against his own palm so that the screen was facing Y/N, touching his thumb to the softly lit surface.

Y/N put down the pointy knife momentarily, focusing on the video on low volume that showed a couple pretending to fight each other over something silly in the presence of the boy's parents, apparently waiting to see the reaction of the elders. She had already watched some similar videos on her own app, vaguely remembering the new and already very known trend.

Her confused eyes looked up at her boyfriend's face after the video ended and went back to the beginning automatically, seeing him already looking back at her with a euphoric gaze.

"That's cool, baby, but what does it mean?"

Chris explained his plan in detail in a hushed tone, keeping an attentive eye to his brothers, not wanting them to see his actions.

He would go to their room to "get something" and seconds later, he would go back upstairs pretending to be furious, holding a broken mug that he would also pretend that was his favorite. He would accuse Y/N of breaking the dishes and say horrible things to her in front of Nick and Matt, all to see his brothers' reaction.

"Do you think this is a good idea? What if they take it too seriously?" Y/N watched him explain in detail, her teeth capturing her bottom lip in a light grip momentarily, feeling hesitant.

"Relax, it'll be so cool! Nick and Matt will understand when we explain it after. Plus, it'll be funny to see their reaction." Chris explained quickly, pushing his girl's right shoulder with his own before gluing his hands in a praying gesture.

After a few moments of reflection, Y/N agreed, rolling her eyes playfully at his happiness before picking up her knife again and going back to cutting the vegetables, watching from the corner of her eye as Chris opened one of the cabinets above the stove and fished a dull, white mug from the bottom of the triplets' collection.

The boy showed the piece to his girl excitedly, receiving a laugh and shaking of head as a response. He leaned slightly towards her, sealing the top of her head softly before turning around, walking in discreet steps to the stairs that led to their shared room.

It didn't take long for the sound of footsteps to be heard again, this time firmer and faster. The boy quickly went up the last steps, already getting into character. When he entered the double room, his face was red with "anger" and he held the shards of the mug tightly.

"Y/N!" He shouted, his voice echoing through the house. "Did you do this shit?" His hand, which was holding the broken mug, rose into the air, rudely showing the pieces. "You broke my favorite mug!? How could you be so careless?"

Nick and Matt, who were sitting on the couch, looked up quickly, stopping playing instantly, focusing their widened eyes on Chris. They had never seen their brother so upset, not with his girlfriend.

"Hey! I'm talking to you!"

Y/N dropped the knife on the counter with a dull thud, turning around slowly in fright, a fake expression of surprise resting on her face.

"Chris, I swear I didn't do it on purpose." The girl said, her voice slightly shaking as she raised her hands in surrender. "I was just cleaning up the mess, trying to help..."

"Help? You messed everything up! As always." Chris retorted, walking quickly towards the kitchen table and throwing the broken pieces of the mug against the wooden surface, the sound of more shattering ceramics echoing through the room. "That was my favorite mug! Do you have any idea when I got it? Years ago! You're useless, Y/N. Honestly, I don't even know why I'm still with you!"

Nick and Matt looked at each other, visibly uncomfortable and shocked. Nick shook his head, trying to understand if this was serious, while Matt bit his own lower lip, seeming to have an internal struggle between intervening or not. The sound of the video game coming from the television sounded muffled to their ears.

"C-Chris, I'm sorry, I can try to find another-"

"There's no other like it, Y/N! How could you?!" The boy growled, his features tightening more.

"Chris, hey, that's enough." Matt finally intervened, rising from his seat on the couch and approaching with cautious steps. "It's just a mug. You're overreacting."

"Overreacting? You don't understand, Matt. She always does this! Always ruins everything!" Chris continued, walking around the table and advancing towards Y/N, who took a few steps back until her back was against the counter, pretending to be scared. "Look at her! She can't even do a simple task without ruining it!"

"I'm so sorry, Chris. I didn't mean to do that..." Y/N made her bottom lip tremble slightly, forcing her own eyes to water. "Maybe it can be fixed-"

"Apologies aren't gonna fix it, Y/N! I'm sick of your messes!" He shouted as he gestured furiously, moving even closer.

Nick stood up from the couch abruptly as he saw his brother getting closer and closer to his best friend, his own fists clenched.

"Enough, Chris. I'm not going to let you talk to her like that. This is ridiculous! You're losing your temper." The oldest triplet shouted angrily, approaching Matt and glaring at Chris, who completely ignored him and continued advancing.

Matt realized within seconds that his brother wasn't going to hear Nick, sending a look towards the older triplet, who quickly shook his head. Nick approached the girl with quick steps, feeling Matt's eyes on his back, moving closer to the couple and placing himself in front of Y/N, crossing his arms firmly, his eyebrows knitting together in an angrier expression.

"Get out of the way, Nick. This is none of your business." Chris imitated his posture, crossing his arms and glaring at him, taking a quick look at his girl behind his brother, seeing her slightly wet face below the light of the room, feeling like crying himself. He hated seeing her upset.

"Oh, but it is my business, yes. She doesn't deserve to be treated like that!" Nick replied, his voice firm. "And if you scream one more time, I swear I'll shove all these mug pieces in your mouth and make you swallow them."

"You're crossing the line, Chris. It's just a mug, man. That's no reason to act like that. She's your girlfriend and a woman, have some respect, Mary Lou didn't teach you that." Matt joined Nick, nodding as he walked over as well, standing close to Y/N, casting a quick look of concern in her direction.

"How can you defend her? She broke my favorite mug due to lack of attention! I'm so sick of-" Chris's sentence was rudely interrupted by Nick, who took a step closer to him, his right hand coming up quickly and his fingers grabbing the tip of Chris's exposed ear, pulling it down hard. "Ouch! Are you fucking crazy? Nick!"

"You will see crazy if you insult my best friend one more time." Nick quickly responded, shrugging and looking down on him.

Chris held his glare for a few more seconds, his blue eyes darting from Matt - who was stroking Y/N's right shoulder lightly, asking in a hushed voice if she was okay - to Nick and back again, his ear starting to burn with pain, until he finally couldn't take it anymore and started laughing.

Y/N stopped pretending to cry and smiled, relieved, quickly wiping her face as a tearful laugh escaped her throat, jokingly pushing Matt lightly.

"Surprise!" Chris said, still laughing. "You've been pranked."

Nick and Matt broke their tense postures within seconds, Matt lowering his arms so they were straight at his sides before turning, looking at the two, confused for a moment.

"You two are such idiots!" Matt exclaimed, raising his right hand and running his fingers furiously across his face, trying to ease the tension that had settled there. "I almost had a heart attack here!"

"I really thought you were out of control, Chris." Nick said, letting go of his brother's ear, rolling his eyes at the wince the younger let out. "Don't ever do that again!"

"You almost got my ear off!" Chris exclaimed, massaging his ear and casting a look of fake horror towards his girlfriend, who laughed quietly at his reaction.

"You'll see what I'll really get off if you do that shit again. You too, Y/N." Nick pointed at the girl, receiving a look of false shock.

"It was his idea!"

taglist:

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(If you want to be added to the taglist, go to this post)

[starkwlkr]

american royalty | max verstappen

kennedy!reader

US GRAND PRIX (TIME SKIP)

Max was in panic mode. Little baby Luke did not want to leave his father’s side. Yeah, it was cute, but Max had to be in the car in five minutes.

“I don’t want to leave you either, baby, but papa has to go race.” Max whispered to the seven month old. It amazed y/n and Max how quickly Luke had grown.

Y/n wanted to burst into tears right then and there in Max’s driver’s room, but she held it in. She loved her boys so much.

“You should go, I don’t want you to be late.” Y/n told Max, which made him frown. “You’ll see us after.” She chuckled and grabbed Luke from Max’s arms. Instantly, the boy started to whine.

“It’s okay, Luke, papa is just going to win the race and then he’ll be back for more cuddles.” Max pressed a light kiss to his son’s head.

Y/n and Max kept your relationship very private so no one apart from their families knew about their relationship or baby Luke. When she did attend a race, she watched from Max’s driver’s room. Usually she was alone, but now she had Luke to keep her company. Before y/n could say something, Max turned to her.

“How much longer do you think you and Luke will be watching from here? Don’t get me wrong, I love you both for coming. I think it would be better if my family watches from the garage.” Max waited for you answer. He was sure y/n was going to be mad at him for even suggesting that idea, but she smiled at him.

“You read my mind.” She kissed his lips.

So without hesitation, Max grabbed her hand and together as a family, they walked in the direction of the Red Bull Garage.

When Max saw photographers start to notice y/n, he grabbed Luke from her and took off his Red Bull hat, using it to shield Luke from the cameras. They both agreed to keep their son away from the media. They quickly arrived to the garage just in time.

“Check’s wife, Carola, is here. You can sit with her so you don’t have to be alone.” Max said as he led her through the garage. “And she has kids so that’s something you both have in common!” He tried to lighten up the mood.

“We’ll be okay, won’t we?” She tickled Luke’s side, which made the boy giggle.

“Max!” His race engineer, Gianpiero, called out. “Who’s this smiley boy?” He waved to Luke.

“My son, Luke, and this is my wife, Y/n.” Max introduced her to the British man. She didn’t correct Max on the term he used for her, it felt right coming from his mouth.

“Welcome to the Red Bull family!” He smiled at y/n.

After talking for a short time, Max had to leave so he gave y/n and Luke a kiss and a hug then left. She was introduced to Carola. It didn’t take long for the two women to get along.

Halfway through the race, the camera was focused on y/n for a few seconds. She was looking at a different monitor so she didn’t even realize she was on tv.

“And we have American royalty in the paddock today. There she is, Miss Y/n Kennedy, daughter to the late JFK Jr. and his wife Carolyn. Didn’t know she was a Red Bull fan.” Crofty said.

Immediately, Twitter was having a field day.

Y/n’s phone was flooded with notifications, but she ignored them. Baby Luke and Y/n were about to witness Max win.

As predicted, Max came in first with Checo taking second place. While Carola took her kids to watch their dad on the podium, Y/n stayed behind with Luke. As much as she wanted to watch Max, she didn’t want to expose Luke to everyone.

While the Red Bull team celebrated another win, y/n looked down at her son. “I think dad would’ve loved to be here, don’t you think?” Y/n asked. “Mom on the other hand . . . She would’ve loved Max that’s for sure.”

The topic of her parents made her emotional so she stopped talking. But it was definitely clear that y/n’s parents would’ve loved Max. Even if the media painted him out to be some kind of villain, Max Verstappen was far from it.

Max quickly made his way back to his family after the podium celebrations. He was eager to show his son his trophy, but before he could do that, he was stopped by Charles.

“You’re dating THE y/n kennedy?!”

“How do you even know?” Max wondered.

“Mate, you’re trending all over twitter. The cameras showed her, but what I want to know is why didn’t you tell me? I thought we agreed to tell each other everything!”

“You agreed, I didn’t.” Max corrected him.

“Still! You’re basically important in the eyes of america now. So if you get married, does that mean you’re automatically a US citizen and you can be president?” The Ferrari driver asked.

“I’m pretty sure in order to be president you have to be born in the US— why am I still talking to you? I have to go see my family.” Max said as he ran to the Red Bull garage.

“Congratulations, mr. president!”

Of course calling Max ‘mr. president’ became an inside joke in the paddock.

When Max made it back to the garage, he saw y/n talking with several drivers, one being the only American driver, Logan. At least they were keeping his family company.

“When Max is on break, he sleeps through the night, but he wakes up several times when his dad is gone. He’s such a daddy’s boy.” Y/n explained to Logan, Lando and Oscar.

“Of course he is, I’m the best dad in the world.” Max interrupted.

“Look at you, daddy Max.” Lando joked.

“Oh god, mate. Don’t ever say that again.” Oscar said.

“Anyways . . . How’d you like the race, y/n?” Logan asked the kennedy woman. He felt so at home at the moment. He was so honored to even be talking to someone related to the president of his country.

“It was amazing. Luke and I enjoyed every minute of it. Maybe we’ll just have to come back for another race.” Y/n looked at Max with hopeful eyes. Baby Luke cooed at his father.

“We are going to Mexico next and you love Mexico . . .”

“Great, we’ll be seeing the first family back in the paddock. It was great to meet you, y/n and you too baby Luke.” Lando smiled cheekily at the mom and son.

“You know Charles just called me Mr. President and now this? What else is going to happen?” Max laughed.

“Who knows, maybe you might end up being the president?”

[suntoru]

✧˖°. PRINCESS TREATMENT ONLY!

summary: genshin men being huge simps and spoiling u every chance they get &lt;3

feat. diluc ragnvindr, kaeya alberich, childe, kazuha kaedehara, scary mooch, xiao, thoma, ayatoe, al-haitham, kaveh

a/n: i swear i was working on the masterlist but the brainrot finally got to me hnghhhh

warnings: gn but feminine implications (ie. princess treatment, reader wears heels and makeup, passenger princess), simping for reader, maybe ooc? swearing, fluff, some are modern aus, maybe innuendos?

─ ✰ DILUC is the gentleman we all deserve in our lives. if it’s raining outside, he’ll make sure to protect you from the wetness! he makes sure you’re fully bundled up in his coat, and that when he’s walking you home, the umbrella is fully covering you. oh, his shoulder’s getting wet? that’s fine, a little bit of water never hurt anyone. but if it happens to you? all hell breaks loose. what if you get sick from the rain? are you feeling alright? do you need medicine? a doctor? and if you’re in a modern au, he’ll definitely let you be the passenger princess 🥰 you can take naps, eat snacks, and pick all the songs! you don’t ever have to worry about giving him directions, you can just do whatever you want. he even installs led lights in his car so you can take asthetic pictures <3 if you’re tired, don’t worry about him, he’ll be fine alone, take your beauty sleep :) he drives you anywhere you want, no questions asked! you want to go to his mansion? you’ll be there in ten. grocery store? sure. nail salon? he’ll even accompany you to get your nails done just so you won’t be alone, pays for everything too!

─ ✰ KAEYA is absolutely whipped for you. to most people, he’s the town flirt, and a drunkard, but to you, he’s the most caring and softest person you’ve ever met, even if it’s hidden under layers of hurt. if you go out drinking with him, and come back drunk, he’ll carry you bridal style back home. pressing your body closer to his, he makes sure to prop your head so your neck won’t get sore. and if you wear makeup, he won’t put in the low effort to wipe your face with a makeup wipe, he’ll do your whole skincare routine for you! first, he uses makeup remover to take everything off, then, gently, he massages the cleanser into your skin and washes it off. he applies your creams and serums, making sure to be as tender as possible, even if you whine that all you want to do is go to sleep. he soothes you, whispering that all he needs is ten more minutes to brush your teeth and get you changed so you’ll feel clean in the morning. and for the hangover in the morning? he makes you special soup and showers you himself so you don’t even have to lift a finger.

─ ✰ CHILDE loves spoiling you whenever he gets the chance to. other people might think it’s just another sugar baby dynamic, but in truth, it’s far from it. it’s a selfless love, not just based on materialistic items. but even then, he’s willing to sacrifice his time and money for you. you’re his baby and his top priority always, no matter what. are you hungry? well, get ready, because he just booked a reservation at the highest star restaurant in town! you’re having a bad day? no problem, he’ll send one of the lower ranking fatui members to do the dirty work and he’s coming home early! he’ll bring home a large bouquet of flowers and a cute stuffie to match. you need new clothes? he’s driving you to all your favourite stores on his card <3 his wallet is practically bottomless, so don’t be afraid to spend what you want! a couple thousand mora is nothing to him if he can see your frowning pout turn into the pretty smile he loves so much. he even carries all your bags for you without asking! he can’t have his darling getting tired after all :(( just as long as after you give him a smooch on the lips and an hour of cuddles, the only payment he’ll accept (´∀｀)♡

─ ✰ KAZUHA, even after years of being in a relationship, still finds ways to give you butterflies in your stomach. when you come back into your quiet home after a long night, too exhausted to take care of yourself, he leads you to a chair and sits you down. he ever so delicately unlaces your heels for you, taking his time doing so, but don’t worry! you won’t ever be bored. if the silence is too much, he’ll ask you how your day was, talk about his, and spill all the tea that happened on the crux. and if your feet are tender, he’ll massage them gently so they won’t be sore in the morning :(( he’s putting the utmost care and effort into whatever he’s doing for you, and that never fails to make your heart skip a beat. he still opens doors for you, dedicates hundreds, if not thousand of poems and haikus to you, and never fails to make you feel loved. he’d never forget an important date, even if you don’t mention it for months before! he always asks for your hand, and when you place it in his with a knowing smile, he gives you a fairytale-like kiss on the top, making sure to peck every little fingertip in the process.

─ ✰ SCARAMOUCHE never thought he’d bow down to anyone again in his lifetime. he’s trained every little bit of himself to be the most powerful, the strongest being he could so he’d never have to go through that humiliation. but yet here he is, tucking away his ego and pride, bending down on the ground for you. yes, he may grumble, telling you to hurry up, and that he doesn’t have all day, but the fact that he’s basically submitting to you speaks for itself. you taught him what love meant, healing, and promised that you’d never leave him, and for that, you have his eternal loyalty. as you climb on his back, he gently hooks your legs against his arms as he stabilizes both of you. the proximity of your face resting against his neck causes him to go up in flames, throwing his oversized hat on your head, telling you to hold on to it for him. but really he’s hoping the large structure obstructs his rosy cheeks. he does every little ‘embarrassing’ thing for you, from painting his nails barbie pink to being shrek for your matching halloween costumes. if his younger self were to look back at him, he simply wouldn’t believe it, but now, he wouldn’t even consider the possibility of even saying no to you.

─ ✰ XIAO never, ever, takes you adventuring with him, simply because he believes someone as precious as you shouldn’t risk getting hurt and scuffed up. so instead, he brings you little gifts that he sees while adventuring. a glaze lily, protective adepti charms, and almond tofu are all gifts that he’s brought to you before. he’s also much softer with you, never raising his voice and being cautious about his choice of words. if you ever get caught in a physical situation with him, automatically he moves to stand in front of you, one arm protectively circling your waist, pulling you closer to him. being xiao’s s/o, you also get special privileges. while he answers most who call his name, if you even utter his in a whisper, he’ll be there in a heartbeat, no matter if it’s an emergency or not. whether you called him to join your tea party, or if you are in the slightest bit of danger, he’ll be there. he also trusts you more than his logic, even if everyone else is against you. if you’re in a scuffle with other humans, he makes sure to hear both sides, but his heart already knows who’s right. whether there are 100 witnesses who all say you’re wrong, he’ll still believe you anyways.

─ ✰ THOMA is absolute malewife material, no questions asked. sometimes, if he’s not busy in the mornings, he’ll surprise you with breakfast in bed without a special occasion. he’ll peck your cheek and give you a soft ‘good morning’ as to not break the sleepy trance you’re in, carefully placing the tray onto the nearest nightstand. whenever he’s around, he does all your chores too, from washing the dishes, to dusting the house and sweeping the floors. you wom’t even have to lift a finger, he goes as far to make lunch too! since he’s not home by then, usually somewhere in the kamisato estate, he leaves handwritten sticky notes on each lunch box he gives you. he fills them with messages like, “the perfume you wore smells good today!” “your smile is blinding, my ray of sunshine” or “you’re gorgeous always, my lovely.” never once is a message repeated, he believes someone as special as you deserves to hear something unique each day. he even goes as far to make your food cute! he’s made panda shaped onigiri’s, cat-like dango’s… all because you asked him once, it’s become a tradition now.

─ ✰ AYATO never leaves you bored when he goes to one of his meetings. his maids set up a spa day, complete with a makeover and evening gown to go with it, but it’s just not the same without your husband :( thankfully, being the significant other of the head of the yashiro commission has its own perks. for instance, you can walk around like you own the place and join in on in his meetings, albeit later you might get punished by ayato for interrupting, but really, he doesn’t mind. seated on his lap, you play with his fingers and let out a quiet huff. why did you think this was a good idea again? what they’re talking about is so boring, you’re beginning to regret your desicion to join ayato, wishing to be soaking in the tub with a face mask again. thankfully, shortly after, he cuts the conference short, apologizing and telling them he has more pressing matters to attend to. you lead him straight home holding his hand, giddy that he’ll join another one of your salon days. he makes sure to pamper you, giving you a massage and washing your hair for you, praising you for being so patient, even if you were the reason the meeting ended early.

─ ✰ AL-HAITHAM, i headcanon, thinks he’s being subtle with putting up with your shenanigans, but he couldn’t be farther off. he might seem indifferent on the outside, but he cares much more than you might think. can’t sleep? just wake him up at 3am, he’ll wrap you in a blanket burrito and read to you until you fall asleep! just got your nails done? he’ll carry all of your books, what else would he need his giant man boobs muscles for? he revolves around you, as if you are the sun and he the earth. and god forbid if you’re ever mad at him, his whole life comes tumbling down. although if you can’t see it in his facial expression, all of his rationality goes flying out the window. he’s snappier than usual, getting annoyed at the littlest of inconveniences. even if you’re in the wrong, he’ll still apologize first, he just wants you to start talking to him again 😢 if you have conditions to making up, he follows them all to the tee. give you one kiss for every hour he’s made you upset? done. buy you the newest line of makeup or skincare? absolutely. cook dinner for the next two weeks? he already does that.

─ ✰ KAVEH is placed 1st on the list of simps. just pout your lips and whimper a “pretty please?”, he’s down bad. he lets you braid, curl, and play with his hair whenever you want, even if it was already styled in the beginning. he lets you steal all of his clothes, who cares if he’s worn the same thing five times in the past week? you look so adorable in his white shirt, he can’t complain. oh, and if you don’t like his style? he’ll let you pick out his clothes and style him yourself, he’ll stand there patiently for you like a mannequin <3 technically it’s not allowed, but he shows you all of his top secret projects and all the cool things he’s doing, you’re the only one allowed in his office! oh, what’s this? you want him to do your makeup? just give him a week, he’ll perfect cat eyeliner, lip liner and blending eyeshadow colors for you! after you’re done, he lets you do his makeup too, praising you for your talent. even if the blush is patchy, foundation cakey and lip gloss smudged, he still thanks you endlessly with unlimited cuddles and a new handbag matching his briefcase!

©hawkssimpsblog 2023.

[dreaming-medium]

No Contact

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader

Word Count: 7.6k

Tags: ANGST with a happy ending, amnesia, memory loss, grief, pining, yearning, hurt/comfort

Summary: It was one of the worst car accidents the city has seen. You weren't supposed to be in that car, but you were. When you lose your memories from the incident, Chan is ordered to stay away for your recovery's sake; but it takes a larger toll on him than anyone could have imagined. Until one day, he just can't take it anymore.

A/N: inspired by this post. Angst ahoy <3 I had too much fun writing this. Maybe I like writing emotions. Enjoy <3

—————————————————————

No contact. That’s what Chan was told was best for you. That’s what was going to help your healing process. 

No contact whatsoever. No texts, no calls, no little surprise visits. No fucking contact. None. 

He was told it would just hurt you if he talked to you— that he would just make it worse. That you would only become more confused and upset. It would be absolutely detrimental for him to see you.

Hell, it might even make you worse. 

It’s killing Chan slowly. Every single day feels like torture for him. The days get exponentially worse. He feels like a hollow shell of his former self, like the wind goes through him when he steps foot outside. It feels like his shoulders are permanently sagged forward. 

But the worst part is that you don’t even know it. You don’t know how he’s collapsing inwards like a dying star. 

It was one of the worst car accidents the city has seen in years. A friend was driving you home that night; Chan had begged to be the one to pick you up, but no, you said it was fine, the friend was heading that way anyway. Why make the unnecessary trip?

You told him he needed sleep. Always putting his needs before your own. You always did. 

He should’ve put up more of a fuss. He should’ve put his foot down. He should’ve already been outside the house in his car with the passenger seat warmer on by the time you left that stupid party. 

He should’ve gotten out of the car and opened the door for you and had a cold bottle of water waiting in the cup holder. He should’ve kissed you on the cheek and asked you all about your time. He should have been there.

But he wasn’t. 

A drunk driver slammed into the passenger side of your friend’s car at a speed that you shouldn’t have even survived.

Miracles do happen, though. But what a price to pay for a miracle. 

For as long as he lives, Chan will never forget the sheer panic and terror he felt when the call came in from your mother. You were already at the hospital undergoing emergency surgery.

He was the last to know. 

After all, he wasn’t your emergency contact. He’s only your boyfriend.

Was. Was your boyfriend. Was? Is that the right word? He isn’t. But he is. There was no breakup. 

Is that what he’s going through right now? A breakup? 

You’re not on a break. But what is this? What is this loss? This severance is so horrible. 

It’s fucked up. It’s a fucked up, amnesia induced breakup. 

Memory loss is a funny thing. Doctors scratch their heads and shrug their shoulders without any answers. The brain is a tricky thing. 

Chan did what he was allowed to in that hospital. He sat in that stark white room under those harsh LED lights and he waited until you were awake. He even waited much longer after that because only two visitors were permitted inside your room at a time— and he wasn’t about to force his way in and kick one of your parents out. 

He let your sister go in first. He even let your cousin go in before him. But when it was finally his turn… 

He never got to see you. 

“The last five years?” Chan asked with a tight throat. Did he even have any more tears left to cry? How is there any liquid left in his body?

“She says doesn’t remember anything, Chan.” Your mother’s voice was just as hollow as his. “She was asking about her freshman roommate.”

A doctor stood in between him and your mom. “It’s best if we don’t throw everything at her at once. Amnesia victims rarely never get their memories back, but we’ve found that it needs to happen organically. Seeing her will overwhelm her and that could stunt the healing process.”

Chan’s mouth opened and closed several times but no words came out at all. His heart may have stopped. 

Does that mean…?

No…

“He can’t see her at all?” Your mother asked quietly. “Not even to visit? He doesn’t have to mention he’s her boyfriend, he can just say that he’s a friend, or a coworker, or—“

The doctor cut her off. “No contact. Not until we’re a bit through recovery and she’s starting to get her memories back.”

Chan was suddenly in a chair. 

When did he sit down? The Doctor’s hands were on his shoulders and he was looking down at him with a sympathetic stare.  

“It’s not forever, son.”

Chan was only able to nod. His mouth was so dry, the back of his neck felt clammy. His head was spinning.

Books often speak of moments as ‘Earth-shattering’. Of moments so catastrophic that the planet stops spinning on its axis and time stands still.

He gets it now. 

The doctor spoke a few more words to your mother before walking away. She looked down at Chan sadly. 

Your mother sat on the chair next to him and wrapped him up in a hug. His world was falling apart around him. You were slipping through his fingers. He couldn’t even see you.

Hot tears poured down his face while he sat there with his head in his hands. Why does it feel like he’s losing you? Why is this the only way? Why are these the cards that are being dealt?

Why didn’t he pick you up from that fucking party?

“She loves you, Chan… she’ll come to her senses, I promise, I promise.”

It’s been two months, one week, two days and eight hours since he’s talked to you. That long since he’s known peace. Since he’s known any sort of comfort. 

You’re the last thing he thinks about before he closes his eyes at night and the first thing he thinks about in the morning. No matter how many times he wakes up and feels the cold bed next to him, it never dulls the ache in his chest.

It’s not a healthy mindset, he knows. And it’s not that you were codependent on one another, that’s not it at all. You were just… ripped away from him. 

Food has no taste. The sky isn’t as blue as it used to be. Clouds don’t make fun shapes like they did with you by his side. The stars are still in the sky, he thinks, he hasn’t had the guts to look at them. 

God, you love the stars so much. You always talked about how pretty they are— how absolutely breath-taking you think the universe is. Chan would simply listen, he would always listen. All he ever wanted to do was listen.

How is he supposed to look at anything the same way? How is any day supposed to be normal when half of his life is suddenly missing. What’s the point of making music if you’re not there to listen to it?

5:00 PM is the hardest hour to get through. You don’t open the door to his apartment when you get off work. You don’t tell him about the things that happened during your shift. 

He can’t leave little snacks out on the counter for you to eat when you get home like he used to. 

Mice would get to it before you did. 

His lonely apartment is slowly losing your smell. He could spray your perfume, sure, you keep a bottle at his place, but it’s not the same. You somehow made the scent sweeter by letting it linger on your skin. 

All of your old toiletries are still there where you left them. Your spare toothbrush has been bone dry and untouched since 9:28 AM that morning. Your shampoo bottles are still half full and waiting for you on your shower shelf.

It had rained a few days before your accident. You had started a puzzle on his dining room table that day– you told him it was the perfect rainy day activity. It was a picture of different comic book covers. It’s now collecting dust. Unmoved and unsolved. 

Just like him.

It was a battle and a half to throw away your leftovers from two nights before your car accident. He felt like he was throwing away your normal life, your tiny domestic traces. 

He didn’t want to cleanse you from his life, but you were washing away. Your ghost was eroding with time. 

Your spare car keys are still hanging on the key ring. Your rain coat is on the third hook draped right over your work bag. Even your phone charger is still plugged into the wall on your side of the bed.

Did you know you forgot to put your favorite gold earrings on that night? You left them on the nightstand. They’re still there, don’t worry. Right next to the glass of water you drank half of. 

Do you even remember them…? He got them for you for your first Christmas together. 

There are so many signs of a life interrupted integrated so deeply into his. 

You’re a clock whose hands stopped suddenly at 1:24 AM. 

This sort of haunting is unbearable. You’re not a phantom in his life, though. You’re something so unattainable that he had once but it was taken away with empty promises of return. 

It’s like you’re a shiny diamond hidden away beneath lasers and traps like in those stupid, cheesy spy movies you love so much. 

Do you know what he would give to watch one of those with you in his arms right now? 

Chan feels like he’s banging on the glass of a one sided window, screaming for you to remember him. Meanwhile you’re on the other side only staring into a mirror, trying to pick up the pieces from before. 

Your mom sends him updates on your condition all the time. He knows that you started working at the local library about three weeks ago. 

You had worked there in college before graduating and getting your last job. It was one of your favorite jobs you ever had. That library was so special to you. 

To him too. 

It’s the library where he first met you. 

The same library Chan finds himself in front of now. 

He shouldn’t go in. He can’t go in. He absolutely should not go inside. 

Bang Chan you should not and cannot go inside this library. Under no circumstances should you step foot inside this building where your other half is working. 

Absolutely not. 

The door emits a soft ding when he opens it. Electronic. Quiet. Peaceful. 

There’s a certain type of silence that sits in a library. It’s closer, thicker— warmer. It’s an expected silence. They’re supposed to be quiet. 

Chan can hear his sneakers take every step on the carpeted floor. There’s no one sitting behind the front desk; that’s where you usually were. 

His eyes look all around, but there’s no sign of you anywhere. A few people toddle around the shelves. 

There’s more soft beeping coming from the self checkout. That’s new. They didn’t have that when you worked here years ago. You probably hate it. 

On the day he met you, you were wearing a pair of dark green pants and a black long sleeve shirt. Your hair was clipped behind your head and pieces were falling over your face. 

Chan was only in the library to look for the bathroom. He was on his way to lunch with a friend, but he just had to stop somewhere. The library was the closest option. 

When he had heard the sound of books falling, he investigated and found you in the center of the carnage, the glasses on your nose sat crookedly and you rubbed your head. 

Your eyes met. He was a goner. 

How disgustingly poetic that he finds himself here now. Where he really shouldn’t be. He was quite literally prescribed a restraining order against you. 

Chan meanders around with his hands in his pockets, the silence getting louder and louder the further he gets inside.

Maybe you’re not working today? 

No one is anywhere to be seen. He’s checking down all the aisles but he doesn’t see you anywhere. 

Maybe it’s for the best that you’re not here. He’s not supposed to see you anyway. He’s breaking the doctor’s rules by doing this anyway. 

He needs to leave. He needs to get out of here. 

His feet stop in front of the very aisle where he saw you for the first time. 

Empty. 

You-less. 

If he thinks hard enough, Chan can picture you in front of him, laughing quietly with the most adorable, embarrassed blush on your cheeks. 

What a moment. 

Is it possible to spend eternity in that moment? Obviously internal clocks can be rewound, paused, flipped every which way; can he go back to that day? Can he go back to the day where every single poem suddenly made sense?

He would take any day, really, any day that had you in it. Birthdays, holidays, late night dates, Hell, he’d even take a day where he only saw you when you dropped off a drink for him in his studio. 

Anything, he would take anything just to see your smile bloom on your face while he watches.

“Can I help you find something?”

His breath catches in his throat, it feels like he’s physically punched in the chest. That voice. That beautiful, melodic voice. He hasn’t heard it in person in months, only in videos he had on his phone. 

Slowly, Chan turns to face the source of his favorite pitch. 

His throat immediately tightens. 

There you are. You. Beautiful you. 

Standing right there. Looking at him like a complete fucking stranger. 

“I…” his voice is hoarse. Chan can feel the tears in his eyes begin to form. He didn’t think this through, did he?

You’re staring at him expectantly, waiting for him to say anything. You’re waiting, come on, Chan. Speak up. Say something. 

Looking up at the shelf, you look back down at him with a smile. “A history guy, hm?”

No.

“Yeah.”

You giggle. “I always had a thing for History.”

He knows. 

“Really?”

“Mhmm.” You respond with a grin. 

Specifically Ancient Rome. He knows. 

You continue. “Specifically Ancient Rome.”

Chan nods and clears his throat. His palms feel so sweaty. His chest is almost panting. Every single cell in his body just wants to lunge forward and wrap you in a hug. 

He wants to bury his face in your neck and sob while you hold him. He wants to tell you that he missed you so much. He wants to tell you how your pillow is losing the scent of your shampoo. He wants to tell you that he’s been DVR-ing your favorite show so that you can watch it later. He wants to tell you about his day. He wants to kiss you until you’re breathless. He wants you to hear the new song he’s been working on.

But—

“If you need anything, let me know.”

You start to walk away.

Chan feels his heart physically break. It’s happening again. He’s on the other side of that one way mirror. It’s happening again! No, no please. 

His eyes widen, the words get caught in his throat. Fuck, Y/N, please!

“W-Wait!” he says quickly. 

You turn around with a curious look. 

“The Odyssey,” he blurts. “Where uh… where can I find it?”

Your eyes light up. “Oh, I love The Odyssey.”

He knows. You collect different translations of it. 

“I collect different translations of that book, here I’ll show you where it is.”

With a little hop in your step you lead him towards all the classics. 

He watches you like you’re an oasis in the desert— maybe it’s because you are. You’re what he’s been crawling towards for two months. 

You lead him all the way to the shelf where the Odyssey lives. Your nimble fingers reach forward and grab one of the copies. 

Green nail polish. You still paint your nails green. You picked that habit up a year after he met you. 

The memories have to be there, Y/N, they have to be. Chan bought you that first bottle of green nail polish as a joke on Saint Patrick’s Day. 

Y/N, please. 

“This translation is my favorite,” you whisper and hand him the book. 

Chan smiles sadly and takes the book from you, unable to meet your eyes. He knows if he gazes into those gorgeous eyes that he’ll lose it. He’ll fall to his knees and cry. 

“Thank you,” he whispers back. 

You stand there for a moment, he can feel your eyes on his face. He always has been able to tell when you were looking at him, it’s a little, secret superpower. 

From foot to foot, your weight shifts. 

You only do that when you’re confused. Why are you confused? Y/N, are you confused?

“I’m sorry…” you start, sounding so unsure. “You remind me of someone…”

It feels like a defibrillator was hooked up to his chest. Chan’s eyes widen and he finally looks up at you. 

You’re looking at him so carefully. He can see the gears turning in your head. Your tongue pokes out of your lips and wets them. 

Y/N, please. 

“I just… I can’t figure out who. Do I… do I know you? I was—” You stop yourself. 

Fuck. Fuck! What was he supposed to say? Fuck! 

Chan wants to scream. He wants to grab you by the shoulders and cry that he’s your soulmate, that he’s the person that knows you better than anyone else in this world. 

Yes, you do, you do know him. And he knows you. He knows how you take your coffee, what movies make you cry, what color jell-o is your favorite. 

He knows that you never wear matching socks and you always lift your feet when driving over railroad tracks. 

He knows that when you were 6 you ran into the corner of a cabinet and that’s how you got that scar next to your eyebrow. 

Chan knows that your entire life you wanted to be an author but you’re so scared of failure that you decided not to chase after it. 

He knows everything. 

“I just have one of those faces, I guess.” It comes out of his mouth so strained. 

You stare back at him so carefully. Do you see right through him?

“Maybe,” you say slowly. You don’t believe him. He knows that tone. You absolutely do not believe a word he’s saying. “Are you sure?”

Chan swallows, he grips the book in his hand tighter. The lump in his throat almost doesn’t go down, more tears prick at his eyes. 

“I would never forget a face like yours,” he chokes out. 

Your eyes widen and you blush, looking to the side with a smile. You always were a sucker for cheesy compliments. 

After thinking for a second, you reach into your pocket and take out a little slip of paper. 

“Here,” you say after scribbling something down. Holding it out, Chan sees it’s your phone number. He has it memorized. “If you ever need more books to read… or find… call me.”

Chan takes the paper with a racing heart. He gives you a smile, his dimples showing. “I think I will,” he whispers to you. 

Another few moments pass of you just staring at him before you nod and giggle nervously. “Well, I gotta get back to work, so..”

Chan nods and moves to the side. You walk past him. 

Your perfume curls around him like a blanket and he craves that sweet serenity he finds when he holds you close and breathes you in. 

Three steps after you pass him, you turn around. “Oh, I didn’t catch your name.”.

“Chan,” he answers softly. 

“Chan,” you repeat. It goes right through him. 

Your voice. Your sweet, beautiful, melodic voice. Finally, he heard you say his name again.

“I’m Y/N,” you whisper to him with a friendly smile. 

“Nice to meet you, Y/N.” Chan has to physically force the word ‘meet’ out of his mouth. 

“You too, Chan.”

And with that, you were gone, retreating back into your fortress of papyrus. 

—————————————————————

A bad idea was going into the library that day. 

An even worse idea was texting you the day after to ask how your day is going. 

And then an absolutely fucking idiotic move was asking if you wanted to go to dinner with him. 

And the worst part? You said yes. 

So, now here Chan was, standing in front of the mirror in his bedroom getting ready for what you thought was a first date, but to him was just a dinner date. 

How is he supposed to do this? He’s not, that’s how. 

Chan fiddles with his bracelet right before his phone rings. 

His heart drops when he sees the caller ID, your mother. 

“Ah, fuck…” he whispers before grabbing his phone. Of course you were going to tell your mom, you tell your mom everything. 

“Hello?” he asks warily into the phone. 

“Hi, Chan,” she says slowly, she sounds nervous, why does she sound nervous. 

“How are you? Is everything okay?”

“It’s Y/N…” Her voice lowers. Chan’s heart drops. “Before you panic, she’s okay! It’s um.. she’s getting ready right now… for a date…”

Chan isn’t moving. Yes, he knows you are. He knows it. But words won’t form in his mouth. 

“Channie.. I’m starting to wonder if that doctor isn’t right.. I can’t stand the thought of her finding someone else when you’re waiting for her… I tried to talk her out of it but she just seems so floaty and happy. God, I feel sick to my stomach.”

His jaw clenches. Now or never. 

“It’s with me,” he blurts. 

Your mom goes silent. Then a huge sigh comes out of her mouth. 

“I wish I could say I’m angry,” a little laugh follows it. “I think I’m only angry that you didn’t say something.”

He tells her everything, down to the way he pretended not to know you. 

“Well, you’re going to have to tell her eventually.” Your mom sounds unsure, herself. 

“Or maybe she’ll remember me.”

“What if she doesn’t?”

Chan sits down on the edge of his bed. His eyes are staring at the wall, unfocused. 

She’s right. What if you don’t? 

“Then, I’ll just … do it all again.”

Silence greets him on the other side of the line. Another tiny laugh comes from your mom. “I always knew you two were perfect together. Just like two magnets, you always come towards one another.”

—————————————————————

“I’ve never eaten here before,” you say with a chipper smile on your face from across the table. 

Yes, you have. 

“Really?” Chan asks, taking a sip of his water. 

“I pass it all the time and always wondered how the food was.”

He looks back down at the old menu. 

This restaurant was more than special to him. It’s where he took you on your first date. It’s an old fashioned burger joint with the greasiest, most delicious French fries in town. 

The first time you guys came here, you talked and talked until the place closed. And even after that, you drove around and talked until it was late. 

“I’ve been here a few times, it’s really good. The milkshakes are some of the best I’ve ever had.” Chan’s sweaty hands fiddle with the menu. 

He’s more nervous now than on the first date. 

“What’s the best one?” you ask with a smile. 

A small laugh comes out of his nose. “The peanut butter one.”

It was your favorite. 

“Yeah but then you can’t have any,” you say so nonchalantly, looking down at the menu. 

His eyebrows knit together. “What?”

“‘Cause of your allergy.”

He stops. 

You stop. 

He has a peanut allergy. Chan has a peanut allergy. 

His lips purse like he’s going to say something but you beat him to the punch. 

“I’m sorry,” you blurt out. “I… I don’t know why I thought that.” Your hands grip the menu a little tighter. “Maybe I’m thinking of someone else?”

Chan shakes his head. “No, no, it’s okay. I… I do have a peanut allergy. Maybe I said something before?”

You stare at him for a long second before looking back down at the menu once more. “Yeah… um. Maybe.”

He definitely did not say something. 

Dinner continues on. Chan listens to you talk and pretends he’s never heard your stories before and he tells you ones he knows he’s said before. 

The entire time, you were beaming at him, just like you used to before the accident. Your face never loses its constant happy glow. He’s not sure that the muscles in your face know how to frown.  

You’re the last two people in the restaurant. The staff doesn’t seem to mind. Maybe they recognize you both. Maybe. 

A lull dips into your conversation. Both of you know you should leave. Neither wants to. Especially the broken man sitting across from you. 

Chan takes the last sip of his drink. The bill has been paid for about an hour at this point. You’re looking down at your lap with a pink flush on your cheeks. 

You bite your lip and look up at Chan carefully. 

“Are you… are you sure I don’t know you, Chan?”

He stares at you. Did you know that you always bite your lip like that when you’re confused? 

“I just… I really feel like I know you. There’s just…” you pause, trying to find your words. He knows you want to tell him about the accident. He knows you want to say it but you don’t want to weird him out. 

What the fuck is he supposed to do? What is he supposed to tell you? 

“Something happened to me a little while ago, my brain’s been… fuzzy since then,” you explain shyly. “I know you said you don’t know me but I just… I can’t help feel like that’s not true.”

Chan’s jaw clenches, his knee bounces anxiously underneath the table. His head turns to the side in his typical nervous tick. 

Your mother’s words echo in his mind, his tongue suddenly feels like it’s swelling to the size of his mouth— making him unable to speak. Should he tell you? Is it now or never?

“I don’t mean to make it weird, Chan.”

He licks his lips and opens his mouth. 

Your phone rings. 

A sigh of relief comes from deep within Chan’s chest. 

Reluctantly, you pick up the phone and hold it to your ear. “Hello? …. No, I didn’t know…. Yeah, of course…. Sure… Yeah, see you tomorrow.”

Just as quickly as you answered the phone, you hang up. 

“Sorry,” you mumble. “Someone called out of work for tomorrow, they need me to come in.”

“Do you need to get going?” Chan asks, looking down at the time. It’s well past 10 o’clock. 

A sad smile crosses your face. “I mean… probably.” The time on your watch flashes back at you. He can tell you don’t want to go home yet. 

“Come on, Y/N, I’ll walk you home.”

Chan’s already standing up from the table, picking his jacket up off the back of his chair. You watch his movements and slowly get up, your movements screaming reluctance. 

—————————————————————

It’s three dates later when the two of you are walking down the street towards your house. It’s only a few blocks from here, but you both decide to take a tiny detour through the local park. 

“I have to say I’m a little excited to meet your friends,” you giggle. “I hope that’s not weird.”

You already have. 

“It’s not weird at all. I’m sure they’d like you.” Chan nudges your arm with his elbow, his hands staying in his pocket. 

“Changbin sounds like a blast.”

He was your favorite before.

“The two of you…” Chan thinks over his words carefully. “The two of you would definitely cause some mischief.”

And you have. 

A tiny lull of comfortable silence falls over the conversation. 

Both of you meander towards the swings. A cold wind blows through the air but neither of you react to it. 

With a tiny giggle, you sit down on one of the swings and hold onto the chains on the side. 

You are just so… you. You’re just your authentic self. Amnesia or not, you haven’t changed a bit. It’s so charming.

“I can’t remember the last time I went on the swings.” You start to move your body back and forth, not too much but enough to get the tiny thrill the toy brings. 

Chan walks up and stands next to you, his hand coming out and grabbing at the chain of the swing next to yours. 

The brightest smile stretches over your face. 

God, it really doesn’t take a lot to make you smile, does it? He guesses that means it doesn’t take a lot for him either since he smiles when you do.

He can’t help it.

He watches you move back and forth, the cold breeze kicking up a bit more and blowing dead leaves across the sidewalk. 

“What’s wrong, Chan? Allergic to swings?” you tease. 

He rolls his eyes with a smirk. “No, I just far more enjoy watching you have fun.”

Your cheeks flush. If he didn’t know you, maybe he would’ve chocked it up to the cold. But he knows the difference between your blush and the elements now. 

“You’re a smooth talker, Bang Chan.”

“It comes easy with you, Y/N L/N.”

Another laugh from you. 

“Shameless flirt.”

He puts his hand on his chest in mock hurt. “Ouch! I just speak the truth, that’s all. Not my fault I like seeing you blush.”

Every word that comes out of his mouth feels so natural. If he really thinks about it, he’s in a weirdly unique situation. Not many couples get to start over, to feel those butterflies again. But here he is, his palms starting to get sweaty as he imagines kissing you. 

Would you call it a first kiss? Maybe. 

It has been four dates. It wouldn’t be.. inappropriate to kiss you, would it? The two of you kissed on your third date a few years ago. 

He wants to kiss you so bad. 

Should he? Shouldn’t he? God, why is this so hard?

Chan reaches out and grabs the chain of your swing, pulling it to a very gentle stop. 

“Uh oh, fun police,” you tease and look up at him with a grin. 

Looking down at you, Chan allows his eyes to look over every detail of your face that he already had memorized. You haven’t changed at all except the new scar on the side of your forehead from the accident. 

It’s the same eyes, same nose, same chin that he fell in love with so long ago. 

The same asymmetrical eyes that you’re so self conscious of but he loves. Your hair is wind blown and splayed every which way. It adds a childish charm to your features. 

Very carefully, Chan moves his free hand down to cup your cheek. His warm palm soothes your ice cold face. He hears your breath catch in your throat at his touch. 

His thumb swipes over your cheek, fingertips run down the soft lines of your jawline. Eventually his thumb ends up under your chin which he tilts up. 

Your eyes sparkle. They somehow capture the light of the lamps around the playground. But they’ve always done that. 

You’re always so enchanting.

Is this a good idea? 

Is kissing you the best option? 

But does he even have the strength to stop himself now?

Almost three months without feeling your lips on his has been torture, and here he is, with you in his hands and there’s still this nagging feeling that he should stop. 

One look into your eyes quells that anxiety. 

Your eyes keep flickering down to his own lips, the shaky breath you let out is hot against his fingers. Everything feels warmer compared to the air outside. 

He can’t take it anymore. 

Chan leans down and presses his lips to yours. They’re warm and slightly chapped.

But, my god, he’s never felt anything this heavenly before. It’s like his entire body unwinds. Like a fire was lit inside his stomach. 

He moves his hand to the back of your head and keeps your lips pressed against his. Your head tilts to the side slightly. It’s just like he remembers. 

It’s just the first kiss, he can’t let himself get carried away. He can’t. 

He can’t let his fingers wind through your hair. He can’t melt into your touch on his cheek. He can’t let himself drown in your lips. 

But he is. 

He’s letting you consume his very soul in one kiss. 

How can something feel so healing yet hurt so badly at the same time? It’s like you’re ripping open a wound and bandaging it at the same time. 

No matter how hard he tries, he can’t bring his lips away from yours. Your hand slides down to caress his jawline with those soft, manicured fingers. 

Your lips open and close over his like mirror images. The feeling shoots straight down into Chan’s gut. It’s like the first time for him all over again. 

Those butterflies are going insane in his stomach. Your scent kicks up in the wind and he can’t help but take a large breath through his nose. 

God, he can’t stop himself. It feels too good. 

His hand moves from the back of your hair to cup your cheek and bring you closer. 

He immediately stops. 

Why is your face wet?

Chan pulls away from the kiss and looks down at you with concern written all over his expression. 

You’re crying. Why … why are you crying?

Your eyes open and you look at him confused. 

“Chan?” you whisper. You’re confused too. What?

“Why are you crying, Y/N?” he asks with a thick voice.

Your eyes widen and your own hand comes up to swipe at your cheeks. Sure enough, you’re met with tears. 

“I… I don’t know,” you say so quietly. “I-I’m not sure.”

Chan starts backing away, your eyes snap to focus on his. Your hand shoots up to grab at his to keep him there. You’re still so confused. 

Emotions are flying through your eyes. It almost looks like someone is clicking a light switch on and off in the back of your mind. A lightbulb is flickering in your soul like a dying neon sign in an old shop window. 

Every muscle in your face is twitching.

What’s happening?

“Channie—“ your own voice cuts off by a sob. 

Chan’s heart jumpstarts. You haven’t called him that… not in two months… that’s what you and your mother called him before the accident. 

Are you…? Are you remembering? What’s happening?

Please. 

Slowly, your hand falls from his. 

Chan stays there, unmoving like a statue. What’s happening inside your mind right now? It looks like you’re reaching and reaching for something that you can’t quite put your finger on. 

He's watching you struggle. It’s like when you can’t remember a word. It’s right there. It’s on the tip of your tongue.

You gulp, your eyes leave his and you look down at your lap. The dirt crunches under your feet as you shuffle your shoes around.

Chan swipes his thumb over your cheek, brushing away the tears. He’s biting back his own. 

“It’s okay—“ “I’m sorry—“ are both said at the exact same time. 

He knew it was coming. He knows you. But you don’t know him. Not anymore. 

But you do.

“It wasn’t the kiss. I—“ 

“It’s okay, Y/N.”

You know him. 

“Chan, I really loved the kiss.”

Chan. Not Channie. 

He brushes his thumb over your lips. “It’s okay,” he repeats gently. “You don’t have to explain.”

His other hand comes up and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Your eyes slide shut at the sensation. 

Your bottom lip quivers and you pull it into your mouth and bite it. With a tight swallow, your throat bobs. 

“It happens sometimes,” you whisper. “It’s from the accident I had.”

Chan continues to soothingly rub your skin with his thumb. Slowly, he kneels down to be in front of you rather than leaning over. 

The dirt is cold on his knee. It seeps through the fabric of his pants. He couldn’t care less. 

“You don’t have to talk about it,” he whispers back to you. 

You shake your head gently, your hands folding in your lap. “No, no. I… I want to tell you. I need to tell you. It’s been happening more and more whenever I’m around you. It’s like every touch, every word you say bounces around my brain and makes me feel the worst case of deja vu.

“Every time I’m with you I feel like I’m trying to recall a dream I had last night but I just can’t remember what it was.”

You’re rambling. You only ramble when you’re overwhelmed and scared. 

“Chan, every time I’m with you it feels like some part of me is screaming to be let out.”

Your eyes open and you stare right through him. Chan feels his heart squeeze and almost stop completely. Despite your best efforts, the tears keep coming. 

“I was in a car accident a few months ago. I had such a severe concussion that I lost the last five years of my memory.” 

How is your voice so even?

Chan’s jaw clenches. Fuck fuck fuck. 

He knows. Yes, Y/N. He knows. Fuck, does he know! If anyone fucking knows, it’s him. 

“I—“ he starts but you cut him off. 

“Please,” you choke out and take a deep breath. “And since then I’ve been getting bits and pieces of my memory back. Sometimes they’re in large chunks, other times they just … come back.

“When I try to think about my life before the accident. There’s this… person there. Someone important. Someone so, so important that it physically hurts me to think about how I don’t know who it is. They’re a constant. And I love that they’re a constant.”

Your hand comes up to clutch at your jacket right over your chest. 

More tears come out of your eyes. The whites get more pink the more they flow. 

“But I know them. I do! I know them like I know the back of my hand. I-I know they love music. I know they take milk and sugar in their morning coffee. I know they don’t get enough sleep at night.”

Louder and louder your voice gets as you grow sadder and sadder. The sobs between thoughts wrack your chest. 

Him. You’re talking about him. 

Chan’s hands hold your face gently. His thumbs can’t keep up with how much you’re crying. 

Nothing has ever hurt this bad. 

You know him. You just don’t know it’s him. 

Nevertheless, you continue. “I remember that they have the most obnoxious phone alarm in the morning. I remember the passcode to their phone is 032518. I know that they have this one black sweatshirt that I love to steal even though it’s their favorite.”

Chan’s own eyes begin watering, he can’t stop it. You know him. You know him. You’ve remembered him this whole time and you didn’t even know it. 

You reach up and grab one of his hands and place it on your heart. Underneath your jacket, he can feel your heartbeat thudding violently against your chest. 

That same heartbeat he’s been dying to listen to while you play with his hair and tell him about your day. The heartbeat he would give anything to hear as he falls asleep. His throat gets tighter and tighter. 

“I’ve been surrounded by bits and pieces of a ghost and no one wants to help me. No one will tell me anything, and I’m so confused, Chan. I can tell that there’s something that everyone is avoiding telling me.”

A gust of wind picks up through the playground. It nips at his cheeks. It’s now he realizes how many tears are falling. 

A sob tears from his throat. 

You grip his hand tighter. 

“Tell me It’s you, Chan.” You’re begging. You’re actually begging while keeping his hand pressed against your heartbeat. 

“Tell me that you’re the person that I see in my dreams. Tell me you’re the one that loves when I draw hearts on the bathroom mirror after I shower. Please tell me that you’re the one that loves the smell of lemon cookies but can’t stand the taste.”

Oh, god, Y/N.

“Tell me that you’re the one that wanted to pick me up from the party that night but I said no.”

He breaks. 

He breaks right down in front of you. Every single ounce of self control leaves his body and he grabs you out of the swing, yanking you towards his body and holding you against his chest. The emotions that were being kept at bay come out like a raging storm. 

He falls backwards into the dirt, you come crashing into him. Your arms wrap around him at the same time he wraps around you. 

Chan buries his face in your neck, one hand on the back of your head and the other firmly around your waist. 

Wails leave his mouth as he holds you to him. They’re deep and come from the very depths of his soul. The wound that’s been open for months is bleeding.  

Every lonely night. Every dinner where he cooked for two instead of one by accident. Every long day he came back to an empty apartment. It’s all coming out. 

You’re crying just as hard as he is, both of your hands gripping the back of his hoodie like a lifeline. 

Your body in his arms is like a piece of a puzzle. Like he’s the dusty one sitting on his dining room table and you finally came in and finished it. 

Weeks and weeks of grief come crashing down on him. He can’t lie anymore. Not to you. Never to you. 

“It is me,” he cries into your neck, his hand running over the back of your head, feeling your hair slip through his fingers. It’s just like he remembers. “It’s all me, Y/N, It’s me.”

Your cries get louder, your body starts shaking in his arms. 

“I’ve missed you, Y/N,” he cries harder. “Fuck, I’ve missed you so much. I missed my girl. Oh my god, I’ve missed you.”

Chan can’t pull you close enough, he can’t get you close enough to his body. You shift around and press yourself into him. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry I didn’t pick you up that night. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m so sorry you got hurt.” 

Every ounce of grief is surfacing and clawing its way out of his throat. 

“I’m sorry I had to lie to you these last two weeks. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I was so broken without you. I broke the doctor’s orders. I needed to see you, Y/N.”

Despite how hard he has you gripped against him, you manage to pull away slightly. You sit up in his lap and look down at his red, tear soaked face. His eyes are puffy and his chest is sputtering with sobs. 

Both of your hands cup his cheeks and swipe away the tears the same way he did for you only a small bit ago. There’s a sad smile on your face. 

“Please don’t apologize, Channie, it’s okay. I forgive you.”

Channie. You called him Channie.

He cries harder and buries his face into your chest. Your arms immediately come around him and keep him there, fingers threading into his hair. 

You’re still crying. Both of you are. 

“I know you were just doing what you were told to,” you whisper into his hair. He can hear your voice reverberate in your chest. 

All he can do is cry. 

Months of build up led to this moment. Endless days of going through the motions just for the next to be as dull and tedious led to him falling into you in the middle of a playground at night. 

The only thing you do after that is hold him. You press kisses to the top of his head and whisper that you forgive him over and over. 

Each one adds a stitch to the wound, shutting it.

You’re finally in his arms. You’re finally back where you belong. 

“I missed you,” he says again, his cries dying down. He doesn't know what else to say. There's so much he wants to tell you, but everything dies on the tip of his tongue.

“I missed you too, Channie. My heart missed you so much.”

He sniffles and looks up at you. You pull your sweatshirt sleeve up and wipe away his stray tears gently. 

“Every day it just felt like something was missing. It was you. You were missing.”

Chan can’t find any words to say. He just stares at you. 

"I don't care how long it takes to remember, or even if I never do. I need you by my side for it, Chan."

His eyes sparkle at you for a moment but he leans up and captures your lips with his once more. It feels even better than the previous one.

The two of you relish in the contact, holding each other close and clinging to the closeness of it all.

It's taking everything within Chan not to start crying again. He's worried than any moment now, he'll wake up and this will all be some cruel dream.

But when you pull away from his lips, and he opens his eyes-- you're still there. You're still in his arms and smiling at him like you always did.

The burn is soothed.

“If you think about it,” you start with a tiny smile. “We’re lucky— in a way.”

His entire face screws up, even more confused. “Lucky?”

“How many people get to say they fell in love with the same person twice?”

Chan blinks twice before it feels like his entire body thaws. 

You and your glass half full attitude. He’ll never fucking get enough of it. 

His arms wrap around you again, bringing you down into his chest. You let out a breathy giggle 

“You’re never leaving my sight,” he breathes out. “Never again, baby, never.”

“I don’t ever want to, Channie. I never will.”