#cant wait to see Anora

[rhearipleysragdoll]

Jus Mikey 🫄

[gaming-thoughts-by-an-idiot]

Dragon age origins: Human Warrior

"I've never had this many evil choices during dialog... being human is terrible"

[Return to ostagar DLC]

"I was thinking 'why haven't I played this last time' and then I remembered this is a dlc"

"I hate that I cant log online on origins"

"Stop showing me flashbacks to the battle, I was there ish"

"I wish we could've found Duncan, and burned him too :( "

"What the fuck do you mean you 'disagree', Morrigan? Da heck is wrong with you"

"Omg the deserter prisoner is still in his cage"

[DLC done]

"Why was there just a drake wandering out here?"

"Oh my god, stopped again? Ugh"

"Yeeesss bleed out"

"Does all these spider webs remind me of the hobbit or Harry Potter? Both? Both."

"Killed the werewolves, got a random thing for a dalish woman put hunting for random werewolves... alright then"

"I want to tattoo the Grand Oak on me, with the stupid rhyming tree joke"

"I love him so much, ugh"

"I read a letter to the king from Arl Eamon, and he said that Anora was like 30 and getting too old for having kids, and that he should find a new wife to have kids with like- yooo wtf"

"Having Shale and Sten in the same party is so weird"

"dWARVEN CRAFT- buy dwARVEN CRAFT- direct from Orzammar... you wont find better"

"Meeting Alistair's sister, let's goo"

"Save first, always save first"

"Fun fact, his mom is actually an elf, was a warden, got cured, and then we meet her in Inquisition"

"UM?? ALISTAIR IS JUST LIKE, HES GONNA ASK ME SOMETHING WHAT"

"NERVOUS???? SIR WHAT??? AAAAA, YOOO IM MAKING HIM LIKE, UNABLE TO EXIST CUZ IM SO PRETTY OMG"

"Oh wow, the options are so good:

1. Oh? Thanks a lot.

2. Pull yourself together, will you?

3. That's very sweet.

4 I feel the same way

Like??? What's up with these replies??? Being human SUCKS"

"Nr 4"

"I'm such a catch- AAA HE LOVES ME SO MUCH, IM DYING"

"-but you're gonna be king :( - she says, as if that's not the end goal"

"I DO NOT WANT TO BREAK UP, BABY NO-"

"Saving saving saving, and then talk to him again"

"I've played 34 hours, damn"

"I named my human warrior for Anna, cuz it sounds like a royal name"

"??? ANOTHER SERIOUS CONVO??? SIR-"

"A HAJAHXGAKNAJAJAJSHSHAHHAHAKSKAKALA????? I FUCK I HI AHDBAKAHAHDKAB OKAY OKAY OKAY SIR ALRIGHTY MAN ALRIGHT HEY SO HM"

"Okay, okay, I'm calming downnnnnnnnnnn... okay phew ok, so, I was like '??excuse I am just a friend' but then the fucker dropped 'and I... love you' BITCH, SIR, MY HEARRRTTT"

"HE WENT FROM "your wish is my command" TYPE OF GREETING, AND NOW??? WE ARE FUCKING GOOD, HE JUST SAID 'SOMETHING YOU NEED, MY DEAR' HE CALLED ME DEAR, BITCH ITS LIKE WE'RE MARRIED AAAA LOVE THISSS"

"Kissing him<3"

"I'm not saying I don't love Zevran, but like 🥺"

"Saving saving, in case I say something bad"

Anna: Where do u see this going between us?

Alistair: Idk, but maybe if I'm king? Maybe we have to stop :( but I dont wanna think about it

Anna: I'll never let u go, bitch

Alistair: I sure fucking hope not

"More or less what happened"

"Let's go to bed, bby"

"Sten gets all of Cailan's armour"

Anna: its either YOU or ME, and it isnt gonna be me!

*whenever we approach danger*

Anna: my warden senses are tingling

"Being human is so weird"

"Remember to pickpocket your targets before killing them, that's how you get coin"

"Omg, I stabbed him in the throat, it went through, whoa"

"I asked Sten to knock someone out and he started to evil laugh, wtff"

Anna, fighting a thug: is it just me, or do you really think you have a chance?

"Damn, who is she"

"I accept all jobs, I dont care who or what I do, give me money"

"Wait, I'm of high ups blood, I should behave..... moneiiii"

"I just threatened the dude who stole Sten's sword, basically just 'break his bones' like damn"

"Doing the mage quest last"

[misscricket]

Coming up in Carver Smuttage...

Next: #58 Has anyone ever told you you’re cute when you beg. (Carver / Alistair) Requested by @professionalfruitgremlin

Basic plot premise is a bit off the wall, I cant control where my brain goes when I hear these prompts. Basically Carver and Alistair get ambushed by a Blood Mage on the run from the Circle and shit goes wrong. Cue ‘I almost lost you’ kisses and sex.

#17 I’m not wearing anything underneath this. (Carver / Alistair) Requested by @softadmin

AU. Alistair is celebrating his 5th year as King with the, by now, traditional coronation ball. This year they have some foreign guests, including Lord Carver Amell who is a problem the instant Alistair lays eyes on him. Includes matchmaking, waltzing and getting hot and heavy in formalwear.

#38 Get on the desk. (Carver / Cullen) Requested by @yuki-hitomi-chan

Cullen can tell his Inquisitor is heading rapidly towards a breakdown, their flirting is getting more and more strained by the day as Carver’s temper gets shorter and shorter. When Carver blurts out that he’s so tired of people looking at him for orders, like he has any answers, Cullen knows exactly what he needs. And provides it. Amply

#14 Call me "daddy." (Carver / Anders) Requested by @imsuchafuckinlady

Anders has issues with Authority. To put it mildly. And he also has a lot of pent up daddy issues after his father handed him over to the Templars without hesitation. After an embarrassing confession during a game, he suddenly finds himself under the intense attention of the younger Hawke brother. 

FEEL FREE TO REQUEST ANY MORE YOU WANT. And if you’ve already requested, feel free to request again!

Sidenote: The only major notp’s I have are Carver / Merrill, Carver / Varric, Carver / Any Hawke Relation and Carver / Dorian. Otherwise, everything else if fair game!

Ships I love: To give you ideas, I ship all these people with Carver. Alistair, Cullen, Anders, Fenris, Nathaniel, Cousland, Anora  and many many many more.

The More the Merrier!

Remaining Open Prompts

Clothes. Off. Now.

You’re mine, all mine.

(COMPLETED)

You turn me on so fucking much.

Fuck me.

(COMPLETED)

[talking to friend] “I am a hoe for [insert character]."

I want to fuck your brains out.

Please do.

Try me.

Would it really be so bad?

I’ve been waiting all night!

Would you rather have me, or your hand?

(In Progress- See Above)

You’re my little Hufflepuff.

My hands look good around your throat.

(In Progress- See Above)

You can be louder, can’t you?

I like seeing you a moaning mess.

You’re lucky I put up a silencing charm.

You’re so fucking hot!

You like that, don’t you?

Am I too rough?

Faster or slower?

You won’t ever get fucked like this.

I want to drag you to my room, and fuck you ‘til you can’t stand.

I’m gonna break your back.

I want to bend you over, and fuck you from behind.

Make me.

Too deep?

But this is the bathroom!

Top or bottom?

What if somebody sees?

Do you even know what you’re doing to me?

The thought of you with someone else…

Nobody takes this dick like you do.

I want my head, between your legs. Now!

(In Progress- See Above)

My bed or yours?

How was it?

5 orgasms!

That was amazing.

Me or the orgasms.

If I ever hear or see you with anybody else, you won’t get to experience that again.

Are you alright? Your legs are shaking!

Oh, fuck me!

Gladly.

Is that it?  

Stop teasing!

But I love to see you beg...

You should use your mouth for something better.

For who now?

You’re everything I’ve wanted

I thought casual is all you’d ever want from me!

My little birdy.

You fuck me so good.

Fuck him again, and I might never let you finish.

(In Progress- See Above)

I want you inside of me.

Don’t worry, I will be.

[gaymingbinosaur]

Favorite Character + Dragon Age

Sorry it took so long and @sexyshoelessgodofwar asked for DA too so I’m tagging them. Also @restitutor-orbis.Computer problems. Also 

Favorite Character: Probably between Cullen and Alistair. I relate to Cullen’s tramau and I admit I do sometimes crack jokes about it so I really relate to Alistair.

Least Favorite Character Technically Meredith but that feels like cheating so Anora. She reminds me of someone, named Megan who I don’t like. So my brain just goes

5 Favorite Ships

Though I have a Trevelyan for Blackwall, I prefer Cadash/Blackwall. Like my game glitched so I couldn’t do it, but from what I’ve seen he’s the only one (that talks about it at least) that has no shame about their criminal past. The rest was kind of putting shame onto them.  And he was like “Woah,woah. I’m not upset, I understand sometimes you are backed into a corner. I know your a good person.” And I’m sorry I ship it. Also Cadash I think out of all the orgins would be the most forgiving, I think. They both probably did bad stuff, y’know.

Cullen x Trevellyan. Like I like Lavellan but when I nailed down Nichole that became my hyperfixation. It was my first otp when I entered fandom, the last OTP I hade was when I was like ten watching teen titans. Also helped me deal with some shit. I always will have a soft spot for them.

Alistair/Warden. Friends to lovers and smart asses. I don’t have much else to say. I am simple when it comes to them.

Morrigian and my Brosca. I just think they would confuse the shit out of people.  Like Banar is just a sweet ray of sunshine. Would save the world with the power of friendship. Is in love with Morrigian and she loves him back. The party talk I imagine would be less “He could do better.” but “How?”  Also sucker for opposites attract. And they fulfill that for me.

I also think Nichole would be cute with Alistair. Like cute awkward adhd warriors trying to flirt. So Alistair/Trevelyan.

Character I find Most Attractive: As a Bi woman this question should be illegal.  Cullen,Alistair, Josie, Leliana. Also Isabella, if I ever get DA2 expansions I’m kissing her. 

Character I would be best friends with: Alistair. If you shove him in my irl friend group. He would fit right in. A dorky goofball that makes smartass comments. That is both Alistair and every friend I have.

Character I would marry: Probably Alistair. Like we have the most in common, personality wise and he’s just really sweet.

A random thought: Not having a mabari in Inquisition is stupid we got mounts but not a dog. Stupid.

 My Canon OTP: Cullen x Trevelyan

Non Canon Otp: I guess Varric x Hawke. Like I love their friendship but it’s like c’mon. Like they always have each others back, and he’s not a romance option. Wait Merril x Isabella x Hawke I love. Just love those three’s dynamic.

Most Badass Character: Leliana. Just the stealth and politics are such a deadly combo.

Most Epic Villain: Mereidith. Like I hate her so much. 10/10 great villain. 

 Pairing I’m not a fan of: Samson/Cullen. With Cullen being such a coping character for me I struggle putting him in toxic relationships and I personally cant see it as healthy. If you do or like the toxic nature or whatever that’s fin. Just not my thing.

Character I feel the writers screwed up in one way or another.

Oghren. I could go on forever about how much I hate the path they did with Oghren.  Like take away Orghen’s jokes his story is a man whose wife disappeared,assumed dead that then loses his honor after accidentally killing a man, is “coping” with all these loses by drinking. And then he loses even more when the warden came. He finds his wife insane, he may even have to kill her and then he goes to the surface and loses his home. And then the game pretty much makes it just a joke.Like they focus on the fact that he’s an ass but I fucking wish they would focus on all the things he lost.

Fav Friendship: Cullen/Cass, Dorian/Cullen, Dorian/Inquisitor, Blackwall/inquisitor couldn’t pick.  I like how loyal and protective Cullen and Cass are to each other.  I like Dorian/Cullen highlighting Cullen’s change on his attitude towards mages. Also he helps him relax and not overthink things. Dorian/quizzy are a found family and you can’t change my mind and I want Blackwall to adopt me.

Character I most Identify with: Alistair followed by Cullen. I relate to trying to not making people worry with jokes and pretending I’m fine. I also relate to Cullen’s anger a lot. Like not the mages part, but I’m angry at so many things. Some justified but I still have to remind myself not to blame people who did things that they thought was for the best, even if they were wrong.

Character I wish I could be: Um, Sten being vaguely threatening and eating cookies all day. That’s the dream. Seriously though, um Josephine. She has her shit together, I want my shit together.

I’ll do Alistair since every knows my opinions on Cullen.Also to my followers who followed me for awhile. Sorry for the Cullen spam, like in general.

How I feel about this character: Relatable as fuck and absolutely charming

Any and all ships I have for him:

I’m going to channel my Galavant blog energy and ship him with everyone I can.

Warden/Alistair obviously. Can be canon and them flirting by seeing who can make the funniest joke. Is how I view the relationship. It’s great when they accidently confess something when screwing around. Like Alistair calling you beautiful without realizing it. Amazing.

Leliana and Alistair: In Origins both lived in a chantry, both cheerful despite trauma. Both can be hardened during the events of Origins so that cheerful bubble of thinking the world is generally a good place is always threatened to be burst through out the game.  I think they have some interesting similarites that could work.

Morrigan x Alistair. Not my Fav but I get it. Enemies to lovers, with a dash of Andy and April. I understand it at least.

Trev/Alistair: Mainly because Nichole. But also all quizzy ships.  Seeing him crushing on someone when he’s not 19 would be interesting.

I’ve seen some ideas of Zev x Alistair. Still not sure what to think. It has potential in the opposites attract kind of way but I haven’t thought about it that much. They haven’t hit that wire in my brain that made me realize where the strongest potential lies or seen metas that make me go oh shit. Like I ship it a little because I’m curious but I haven’t found the emotional core of it.

Fav Non Romantic relationship for him: Easy Wynne is his mother now.

My unpopular opinion for him: I don’t know, like any opinion I have I feel is popular in some circle. Like some people view Alistair as whiny and I disagree and a lot of people would back me up. So I don’t think it counts as unpopular. I think he has adhd I only seen one other post mention it.

One thing I wish will happen in canon: He has a son named Duncan, either by birth or adoption, and the Warden brings the cure back.

Favorite friendship: Wynne, isn’t this the same as the non romantic question?

Crossovership: I’m going to do a Galavant one since Dragon age and Galavant are the two main reasons people recognize me here. Um  I kind of ship him with both season two Richard and Roberta. A goofy dumb royal with a god awful family and Roberta a sweet and slightly awkward warrior that is the mom friend of every group. I think King Richard and Alistair would be hilliarious and sweet and Roberta/Alistair would be heartfelt. I’ll polly ship them since Roberta/Richard is canon. 

[queerloquial]

okay i know the wiki says anoras marriage to cailan was first agreed on in 9:10 and that she wasnt much for playing with other kids but like

i want fic of the baby nobles being a bunch of little shits together. maura and anora and delilah running around with all the confidence and actually-rather-calculated recklessness that comes with being twelve year old girls. gilmore awkwardly trailing along behind maura because hes her best friend and shes not going to let him just sit out of their adventures. cailan being dragged along when they can sneak him out of whatever hes Supposed to be doing. sometimes nathaniel gets roped in because hes older than everyone else and they need someone who can be the vaguely-adult supervision. thomas howe is younger than everyone and so gets left out a lot but he still tries to keep up because theres no other kids his age around

and fic of the kids all growing up knowing that theyre going to have Responsibilities, some of them are going to marry each other (they just dont know who, or who they want it to be if theyd get a choice), but it hasnt like. sunk in and become Real. its a problem for when theyre grown-ups, and so they grow up more or less a very relaxed polycule that works itself out over time. maura kisses all the howes and decides she likes anora best, gilmore kisses maura and figures out he doesnt like anyone at all really, anora kisses maura and cailan and wants them both and when it sinks in that she cant have both she accepts it but on the inside she sulks for a week

and a small part of her, the twelve year old with neat braids and dirt-scuffed stockings, whispers that cant a queen do whatever she wants? but no, little one, theres expectations and reputations and an image to maintain, so she marries cailan when theyre all barely adults, and maura refuses to speak to either of them, or visit, or even reply to her letters. for seven years she doesnt see her but in flashes here and there at landsmeets, and then as soon as she blinks cailan is dead and highever in ruins and she refuses to cling to the rumors of the warden who escaped ostagar, the towering woman with bright red hair and a silver tongue to match two long gleaming daggers

but the twelve-year-old remembers the girl she loved, proud and stubborn and long freckled limbs and a smile that could get them out of almost any trouble. she hopes, and she dreams, and she stays quiet and waits

[rue332-blog]

DWC: "I can't do this. I can't see you anymore."

I’ve Never did a story like this. Or used my OC like this. Just an idea I got hope it’s Ok.Rue woke to the gentle sounds of the waves lightly bumping the hull of the boat. She sat up and wrapped the blanket around her. Took the bottle of rum of the table by the bed and went to the port hole and look out. The moons shone on the water with a haunting glow. Rue look back at the man laying in her bed. He was handsome with his shoulder length dirty blond hair. She new what she had to do, and it was a weight in the bottom of her heart. With every thought of hurting him a piece of her breaks tears were stinging her eyes. With that thought she felt a warm hand touch her on the shoulder. His strong arms pull her to him with to him and he kissed her on her neck. “Are you trying to escape? I guess I’ll have to sleep with one eye open from now on.” He said moving his kisses. Rue’s body was getting warm and tingled she groaned, “ mmm, s..stop Cailan.” He chuckled “Your voice says no but the rest of you is saying yes.” He whispered in her ear. Rue leaned against his well built chest. She always felt save and loved in his arm. “Please, I would like to talk to you.” Rue Said smiling sadly. Cailan look a little confused but said, “ok my dear, what’s on your mind?” She turned to face him and took a deep breath hear it goes she thought as she said, “ I cant do this. I can’t see you any more.” “What are you talking about? Your frigging kidding me, right. If I’ve done something I’m sorry.” Cailan said as he looked like some one hit him with a Boulder. “ You married and the king of Ferelden. Not to mention my cousin Fergus and brother Manius child hood friend. If my brother and father found out the drag me out to the center of the keep and give me at least two hundred lashes you know how my father treats me.” Rue replied. “Please don’t do this I need you. You make me happy. Manius will understand.” Cailan said as he reached out to grab her but she moved. Rue threw up her hands she was livid and said, “ You have no right! No right to ask me that. Every time I see you I fall for you more.” Now it was getting hard for Ferelden to talk but she kept going, “Every time…time you leave my heart breaks more. Then you g…go home to her, or one of other woman it’s rumored you have.” Now Cailan was mad. She didn’t even see it coming. Cailan grabbed Rue threw her on the bed got on top of her to hold her down. “Get off me, let me go!!” yelled Rue. “No, you are going to listen to me. Yes I cheat on Anora, but you are the only one. I married her cause my father told me to. She never liked me, and I never liked her. It’s a problem I’m trying to fix promise me you’ll wait. Before you run off with a guy." Rue shook her head yes. They spent the rest of the night. Holding each other. @silent-of-spirit @dadrunkwriting