#cant wait to feast at the bar later in the evening

[reginaldubel]

LEVELLED UP

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Dont Leave Camp

Im not entierly happy with the ending but i hope you enjoys it i have a few different imagines im tweaking atm which will hopefully be up within the next couple of days xx

Masterlist

Warnings: spanking, swearing, mentions of periods

A certain witcher punishes you for disobeying him

Dont Leave Camp

You huffed as you sat at the fire with Ciri and Jaskier. Yennefer had gone to the village on the other side of the small wood for something. To be honest you were to busy pouting to listen and Geralt had made his way in the opposite direction to take care of a small contract. You werent staying in the village as there had been an outbreak of a pneumonia it had killed four people then apparently the bodies attracted ghouls who were killing more people who was attracting more ghouls. Vicious cycle when you think about it. Which was what Geralt had been hired to get rid of. So the three of you were confined to the camp. You pulled your new black fur trimmed cloak tighter pushing away the hair that fell into your eyes, you cringed it was soo greasy to the point your scalp hurt. Shifting you grimanced as the other reason you were desperate for a bath made itself known. Thats right your pill had worn off and you had your fucking period which probably wasnt helping your mood. You didnt see any reason why you couldnt quickly have a bath in the village then return but no. Yennefer had put her foot down when you had asked. You tried to argue that your immune system was going to be better than theirs and that you knew the appropriate steps to take but Geralt had stepped in agreeing with her then left ordering you to stay at camp and that you could all bathe in the stream tomorrow. They didnt understand that your used to a much better hygiene routine then the people here. You sighed again seething not even aloud to bathe and Geralt definatly knew why you needed one. Having enough you got up going to your tent grabbing your wash cloth, soap and fresh undergarments leaving your cloak on the bed roll catching both Ciri and Jaskiers attentionas you made your way back out.

"What are you doing?" He asked tentatively

"Im going to find a stream and bathe." You said tersely befor making your way out across camp. Ciri got up befor grasing your arm pulling you back

"But Geralt said its not safe, you should wait untill tomorrow" you sighed and patted her hand.

"Im not waiting i really really really need a bath, im only having a quick rinse ill be about 10 mineuts ,if that? besides im going in the opposite direction to geralt and the ghouls" she didnt look convinced turning to Jaskier for back up

"Why do you even need one that bad you smell fine to me?" He offered a weak argument.

"Why? Ill tell you why iv spent all day sitting in blood stained knickers" you growled out at him ,he went a funny shade of green.

"Right then. 10 mineuts .be back before Geralt." You nodded and patted Ciri's head as you walked past

"No wait y/n i really think you should wait you dont want to make him angry" she tried to convince you to stay

"Ciri i'll be fine ok its not that far" you called over your shoulder as you made your way towards a small stream. You frowned as you went deeper into the wooded area and still couldn't hear the tell tale sound of the stream the camp had quickly dissapeared. It must have been nearly 10 mineuts before you heard it the trickling of water quickening your steps before you heard somthing else. You froze scanning the area with a shiver of fear before stepping backwards. As you heard things moving around in the woods the hairs on the back of your neck stood on end. You held your breath as you heard the mix of inhuman growls and bushes and twigs snapping under the weight of what ever it was. Your heart was trying to beat out of your chest. You decided it was time to go back to camp stepping back slowly retracing your steps slowly and quietly. You squeeked out when you saw a hideous creature crawling around the bushes a few feet infront of you quickly spotting another three wandering aimlessly with it. You ducked holding your hand across your mouth trying to quiet your panicking breaths tears flowed freely down your face. You found yourself shaking from quiet sobs as your fear took hold trying to scamper backwards faster. What ever it was began sniffing the air making their way towards you then they found you snapped their gazes locking onto you. You dropped your things hefting your skirt and ran as fast as you could with them on your tail. You screamed as loud as you possibly could trying to get anyones attention looking either side of you as one ran along side you and dived at you, quickly changing direction your thighs burned you jumped over small rocks and logs. You heard them behind you screaming bloody murder as one pounced onto you just clipping your dress you lost your footing crashing to the forest floor skidding down a small slope your vision was blurred with tears as you used the slope to roll up onto your feet staggering and continued running through an opening in the woods you cried out as your foot was snagged again by the one behinde you. Tumbling to the ground you felt its weight on you. Befor you heard an order being barked at you from infront of you.

"HEAD DOWN!!" You obeyed tucking your forhead into the dirt as seconds later you felt a rush of wind across your head the grusome sound of flesh and bone being struck with a blade followed by a gush of warmth on your back. The weight was removed You made to get up only having a foot pressing you back down.

"Stay there!" You could have cried as you saw geralt standing over you staring down the other three things he stepped one foot over you putting you between them feet. They eyed him wearily before all pounceing on him. With ease he twisted around them cutting each one down quickly. He stood back then knelt down collecting you into his arms looking down at you checking to see if you were ok you swore you felt his body tremor but only once.

"Are you hurt?" You shook your head not trusting your voice as you began sobbing into his chest clawing at him he sighed heavily wrapping himself around you tighter. He let you cry yourself out before pulling back scowling at you.The tenderness he had shown was replaced with disapproval and anger.

"What the fuck did i tell you?" He growled at you he shook you by the shoulders you shook your head at him whimpering he grabbed your chin forcing you to look him in the eye

" what .did. i. tell. you?" He grit his teeth as his anger broke throuhg his voice you sniffed placing your hands on his wrist

"G-geralt im sorry" he shook your face lighty his eyes were ablaze and burned into you scalding you with his anger.

"Y-you said not t-to leave camp." You answerd between sniffles

"Thats right i said not to leave camp." He forced you to look at the mix of blood flesh and body parts strewn across the floor.

"Because those ghouls are stalking this whole area , if i hadnt found you they would have ripped you limb from limb, kept you alive as they feasted on you." He explaind as you began sobbing again trying to look away he tightened his grip slightly still carefull not to hurt your jaw.

"No look because thats how i could have found you." Geralt grunted he was unimpressed and realeased your face after a few moments you felt his anger rolling off of him in waves grabbing you by the scruff of your dress and hoisted you to your feet. He growled at you effectively stopping all protest

"where the fuck did you think you were going anyway?"

"I wanted a bath" you said in a small voice. He scowled at you deep as you avoided his gaze.

"So you ignored my orders and warnings about the ghouls and put your life at risk for a bath?"

"....i didnt know that they were this way.... im sorry?" He threw you over his shoulder walking across the clearing.You began wriggling trying to throw of his hold that felt like an iron bar across the back of your waist.

"Geralt im sorry"

"Oh your not sorry ! not yet" he grunted out as he tensed his arm around you.

"WhhaAh" you hissed through your teeth as he stuck your upturned bottom with more force than you'd ever experienced from him before.you put your hands on your throbbing bottom rubbing, tears gatherd in your eyes at the harsh stinging he'd caused.

"I suggest you be quiet" he sat on a stump and lower you to your feet infront of him keeping a firm grip on your wrist. Pulling at his hand looking panicked.

"Geralt, i want to go back to camp." He shook his head at you befor using one hand to unstrap his swords placing them beside him on the floor.

"You dont want me to do this in camp." His words made you stop struggleing. Your eyes grew wide as you realized what he meant when he tugged you across his thigh you bucked at him.

"NO! Nonononono please im sorry! Geralt please you cant! i didnt mean to" He held you firm dragging you skirt high leaving it to pile at the small of your back ignoring your pleas.

"I will put up with a lot but i wont have you putting yourself in dangerous situations like this if i hadn't heard you you'd be dead" He started scolding you as his held you still and struck your rear followed by a second and third each felt like a palm sized brand he quickly laid slaps across the seat of you smalls. You wailed at the instant burning sting, there wasn't a slow build up or easing you in to it. He was only holding back enough of his strength so he wouldnt cause any damage apart from a sore bottom peppered it with heavy spanks. You threw your hands back coving yourself.

"Move your hands" You wriggled against his leg shaking your head he sighed smaking each palm then pulled them up tangling them in your heavy skirt holding them still and laid four much heavier spanks to your bottom. Crying as each one fell onto your swollen bottom you pushed against the floor with your tippy toes trying to make distance between you and his offending palm.

"Geralt pl-please. im o-on my monthly" you called out around hiccups and sobs teribly afraid of bleeding on him.

"Why do you think im leaving these up? you can guarantee you'd be bare if it was any other time." He grunted at you pulling lightly on the material. Unbelievabley even this harsh spanking was setting your body on fire you felt conflicted as your arousal built inside you, it was as if your body was no longer your own, his dominant display managed to control your basic desires even when he was punishing you so thoughrly.

"Ow! Geralt st-sto-op im sorry" he scoffed as he continued his blistering assault on your cheeks before moving to your thighs. You shreiked as he left your sensitive skin deep red and throbbing. Kicking your feet out like a chastised child. He took it in his stride and tucked them under his calf pinning them down.

"Will you stop this bratty behaviour? next time you nearly get yourself killed i will spank you in camp bare do you hear me?" You cried louder flushing when your pussy clenched at the thought of being punished infront of the others.

"Yes yes stop!" You shouted out at him as he left harder swats against your already bruised bottom rocking you forward.

"No more tantrums and when your told to do something you will do it. No more arguing with yennefer either" you nodded weakly and stopped struggling succumbing to him discipline laying limp over him sobbing uncontrollably a mix of yelps sniffing and shaking breaths babbling that you'd be good and wont argue, promising anything if he stopped he huffed continuing untill your skin was a deep red from your knees to the top of your bottom pulling you skirt back down he rubbed your back.

"What you did today was stupid you could have easily died had i not heard you you would have,we wouldn't have even found your body y/n. There would have been nothing of you left." He said but there was somthing in his voice it almost sounded like fear. You sniffed as he rested a heavy hand on your stinging swollen bottom.

"And i mean it you ever do anything like this again and i wont care where we are or whos there youll get a bare assed spanking then and there."

You shrunk knowing full well he meant every word he slowly sat you up on his legs faceing you.

"This is the last time you leave camp alone,from now on you always have some one with you no matter what. When you get back you will aplogize for worrying them." You tucked your head under his chin nodding still sniffing back sobs as your ass and legs burned. He sighed leaning to collect his swords heaving them back into place before standing with you cradled in his arms.

"I can walk" you said meekly he tightend his hold inhaling your scent

"I know i want to hold you...i thought id lost you" Your heart broke alittle at the crack in his voice he must have been worried when he heard you screaming. It took nearly 20 minuets to get back you camp you used the time to collect yourself wiping your swollen eyes and tear stained eyes. Once you got to camp Geralt placed you by the fire you yelped as your bottom made contact with the ground. Ciri gave you a sympathetic smile knowing exactly how you felt. Yennefer rushed beside you pulling you to her in a desperate hug then leant you back holding you at arms legnth.

"What were you thinking? I dont believe you could be so stupid-" her rant was interupted by geralt

"Yenn iv dealt with it" you blushed at his implication as the others heard to she nodded giving you the once over noting your destressed apperance.

"Good." Was all she said then handed you some thick rags

"I got these for you, there for your well... you know.." you smiled a small smile

"Thank you." You took them tucking them in your pack. Geralt cleared his throat looking at you pointedly

"Im sorry i was a brat and for worriying you..all of you i didnt mean to i hope you can forgive me for being such a bitch." Yennefer chuckled and kissed your head

"Thats ok we all have bad days but its all forgiven" you nodded as fresh tears gatherd in your eyes latching onto her and she returned the hug before she pulled back kissing your cheek then sat behind you letting you lean against her you hissed as your bottom slid along the floor. Jaskier took note and blinked at you

"Did he hurt you? Your really quiet" You blushed and dropped your head embarassed Yennefer chuckled and Geralt sighed already knowing where this was headed. Ciri piped up understanding the situation.

"Jaskier leave it" he frowned watching as you kept shifting uncomfortably then gapped laughing.

"He spanked you" you cringed as the word seemed to make your ass throb even more he laughed.

"Shut up! You little shit" you leant over thumping him he let out a manly squeel and tried avoiding you then laughed again

"Ah ah behave yourself or geralt will spank you again for being naughty" you growled and launched yourself at him and you both began wrestling on the floor

"You sound jealous" you quipped as you landed on him pinning him.He yelped and crawled away from you you growled at him as yennefer pulled you to sit beside her , whimpering lightly as you sat on the hard floor you glared at him as he sat down smug snickering at you.

"Jaskier carry on and you'll join her" he stuttered at the witcher before scoffing

"Youd have to catch me first" Geralt smirked and tilted his head.

"That a challenge?" Jaskier bit back any remarks he had making you Ciri and Yennefer chuckle at the meek looking bard.

[hakyummy]

Backstage (Ken smut)

Genre: smut

Length: 2.4k

Pairing: Lee Jaehwan (Ken) + reader (female)

Summary: Jaehwan seems to be different when he comes off stage and Y/n tries to find out was wrong. However, she got more than she bargained for when Jaehwan initiates a dangerous activity in the dressing room.

All of the smuts that mention Vixx’s comeback I actually planned before any teasers came out it just takes me so long to get them done that it seems like I came up with the ideas recently. By the time I finish all of them it’ll be their next comeback lol. 

I had just started writing this smut when I got the request in for Ken smut luckily I felt blessed. I’ve been having so many Jaehwan feels lately so I enjoyed writing this. Here you go @kensprincess or other Ken stans or people that have been personally targetted by Jaehwan (eg me)!

ps not proof read, please let me know of any mistakes i might have made

(Support Shangri-La !!!)

As you stumbled around backstage you could hear Hakyeon giving everyone a pep talk, encouraging them to make this comeback stage ‘their best one yet’. You jogged into the area where they waiting before they were called to go on stage and saw the 6 boys stood in a circle with their hands in the centre. Vixx were in their new stage outfits for their comeback and you must say Jaehwan pulled the look off pretty well.

Jaehwan’s eyes lit up when he noticed your presence, but he couldn’t come and greet you due to Hakyeon’s never ending pep talk. He mock-rolled his eyes at Hakyeon and you had to stifle a giggle to prevent him from being caught. Your boyfriend smiled brightly at your response and continued making silly expressions at the leader when he wouldn’t notice. At one point Hakyeon noticed Jaehwan just as he was crossing his eyes and sticking his tongue out at him. Giving him a disapproving look, Hakyeon continued his motivational speech to the rest of the boys, although it didn’t seem to appear that any of them were actually listening.

It wasn’t long till the boys were called up on stage to perform. Jaehwan gave you a small wink which made you weak at the knees before disappearing on stage with one final look over his shoulder. Your heart fluttered as you watched the members take their place on the stage. It was their first performance of their new song and you couldn’t be prouder of Jaehwan and the rest of the boys.

Their performance went off without a hitch and soon enough Vixx were all clambering down the stairs from the stage, all bouncing around with adrenaline; laughing and chattering excitedly with each other about their first performance. Hakyeon praised all the members, offering to go out and buy drinks for all of them to celebrate their comeback stage which resulted in a loud cheer from the rest of the group.

You cheered along with the members as your eyes scanned over them to find Jaehwan, you just wanted to hug him and congratulate him on the amazing performance. He still wore the same bright smile on his face, but something seemed different. You wondered if maybe you were imagining things, but as your eyes met you could tell something was up. His happy and smiley face still couldn’t mask the fact that he had a different aura from before he went on stage and you were determined to find out what it was.

As you pondered over what could be on Jaehwan’s mind, he stalked over to you, grabbing your arm and dragging you away. You didn’t even have time to congratulate them all on the great performance.

“Jaehwan hyung, aren’t you coming out to the bar with us?” You heard Wonsik question.

“Y/n and I have dinner plans so we’re gonna leave early, maybe later.” Jaehwan dismissed him before exiting the room.

You had no time to rest as Jaehwan tugged you through the narrow hallways backstage. You were disorientated, unaware of where you were. Suddenly, Jaehwan pushed you through an open door and you stumbled in, recognising it to be Vixx’s dressing room. Jaehwan quickly scanned the hallways in case anyone was there, but once he saw the coast was clear he followed you into the room, abruptly closing the door behind him.

Unsure of what had gotten into him, you gingerly placed your hand on Jaehwan’s shoulder as he blankly stared at you. Before you could even utter another word out to ask Jaehwan about what was wrong, you were pressed against the far wall. You gasped out as Jaehwan attached his plump lips to the junction in your neck, immediately finding your weak spot. Rapid breaths left your mouth as you eyed the door. No lock. Anyone could walk in and see you. Despite knowing this was wrong and could possibly damage Jaehwan’s career, the risk that someone could walk in right now and see the two of you excited you. Any member of staff or crew member could enter the room and witness the sinful act that Jaehwan was performing.

Due to the lack of privacy you assumed Jaehwan would stop at kisses, but oh how you were wrong. His fingers teased underneath your shirt as he pushed it up and over your head before you could even object. His eyes bored into yours to silently ask for your permission to continue, chest rising and falling in anticipation. Your only response was to wrap your arms around his back and pull his body closer into yours, joining your lips together again. You knew you shouldn’t have been doing this but you couldn’t help yourself, Jaehwan was your weakness and whenever he wanted something you gave it to him.

He happily indulged in the feast you were offering him, but still craved more of it. Jaehwan’s impatience got the better of him and he slipped his tongue into your mouth to taste more of you. You whimpered into the kiss as your nails clawed into Jaehwan’s arms, scrabbling to get his outfit off; if you were doing this now, you were going to do it quickly. He smirked at your eagerness, rapidly discarding his clothing. Within no time at all his lips were back on yours, tongue exploring your mouth as his body pinned you to the wall. Due to the lack of clothing you could feel his obvious bulge against your leg and it made your insides heat up in anticipation.

Jaehwan’s fingertips teasingly ran across your upper thighs, sliding up underneath your skirt to taunt you. Your breath hitched in your throat and Jaehwan smirked, loving the effect he had on you so easily. You felt like you couldn’t breathe as his fingers gently caressed your covered folds. You wanted to speed him up, knowing you didn’t have long, but you couldn’t find your words as his fingers slipped underneath your underwear and began parting your folds.

You let out a soft whimper at the feeling of Jaehwan’s calloused fingers skimming over your core, biting your lip and leaning your head back against the wall. He smirked at your reaction and upped his ministrations, trailing the pads of his fingers up towards your clit and applying slight pressure on it. You whined and rutted your hips, hoping to get more friction from Jaehwan’s teasing touch. However the look on his face didn’t seem to look like he’d be giving you what you wanted anytime soon. You knew that look in his eye, you had to beg.

“Jaehwan please,” you seeked for more from him, “We don’t have much time please can you just touch me properly”

He pretended to consider your request, but you knew all too well from that look that he wanted more from you.

After a few moments you tried again, “Please Jaehwan, I need to feel you inside me”

His cock twitched in his boxers, yearning to be in you too, but he felt like he needed to play with you a bit, enjoying the way you were at his mercy and granted him with whatever he wanted to ensure you were satisfied in the end. He knew he wouldn’t be able to wait much longer until he took you here against the wall, but he thought he’d play it out a little longer until you were desperately sobbing for him with all you had.

He tilted his head at you and you knew you still hadn’t done enough for him. The cogs turned in your brain as you desperately tried to think of what to do to get Jaehwan to listen to your pleas.

“Jaehwan I need your thick cock to fill me up.” You whimpered, making eye contact with him.

That plead was what made him snap. Jaehwan rapidly shed himself of his clothing and held up your right leg, resting it on his hip. Not having time to remove every item of clothing, he simply pushed your skirt up around your waist as he readjusted himself and pushed your underwear aside. You took in a breath to prepare yourself for Jaehwan’s thick length to enter you. The slight pain that was expected from the lack of foreplay didn’t occur, since you were already so wet from the way Jaehwan had handled and treated your body prior. He tried to hide the small groan that was pulled from his throat as he nuzzled his face into your neck but you still heard loud and clear and gave out a small whimper in response. You loved when Jaehwan was vocal.

Realising that you didn’t have much time, Jaehwan didn’t take long to relax as he pulled back his hips then canted them forward again. You let out a small squeak in response before hurriedly covering your mouth with your hand in order to muffle the sounds Jaehwan was forcing from your body. He didn’t let up the relenting thrusts in your core, letting out quiet grunts each time he reached deep inside you. Your eyes were closed from the amount of pleasure you were feeling, but as you opened your them after several minutes you saw the most erotic sight of your life; Jaehwan had his head thrown back from the immense pleasure he was feeling, revealing his glorious neck to you. It shone with sweat and the his veins in his neck were straining up against his skin. His adams apple bobbed furiously as he kept trying to swallow back the sound of his moans and his jaw was clenched in concentration. Through all the vigorous movements you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled his face towards you. His eyes tried to focus on you through the pleasure that clouded his pupils and his fluffy hair was matted against his forehead from sweat. Just the sight of him alone made you moan and you clenched around him, pulling a growl from deep in his throat.

It was a mutual idea to crash you lips together to collide in a passionate kiss that left the two of you breathless. He growled into your mouth when he felt your nails dig into his skin, the pain spurring him on. Jaehwan hooked his other arm under your left leg, hoisting your body onto his. He panted from the effort of holding your body in place and maintaining his powerful thrusts, but it was worth it to feel you like this around him.

His head fell to your neck again, but this time in exhaustion as he panted breathlessly onto your skin, stimulating you further. His hips slowed down slightly, but the pleasure wasn’t decreased as when he reached deep inside you, he rolled his hips to help reach that spot that satisfied you the most. You threw your head forward when he reached it, biting onto his shoulder to stop your scream from echoing around the room. Jaehwan just always treated your body so well and it was hard to hold back the way he made you feel.

As you felt your peak nearing, the door suddenly opened. Jaehwan bought his hand to your mouth in lighting speed as fear filled his eyes, who had just walked in? As your ears focused you could hear Sanghyuk’s voice humming Shangri-La. Jaehwan relaxed a little hearing it only being another band member, if it was someone from management he would’ve stayed frozen until they were long gone down the hall. Jaehwan wasn’t ashamed about getting caught by his maknae, a smirk lifting on his face when an idea crossed his mind. You knew that look in his eye and desperately whispered for him to not do anything and wait until Sanghyuk left the room before he could continue.

Of course, he didn’t listen to you. Jaehwan secure his grip on your hipbones and lifted you up his cock slightly, before bringing you back down onto him again. The loud music of the stadium made the wet movements inconspicuous in the dressing room, going unnoticed by Hyuk. He just rummaged through one of the draws, presumably searching for something, completely oblivious of the incident that was occurring in the very same room.

It felt so wrong to do this when you could literally still hear Sanghyuk humming, but you were too far gone to stop. You don’t think Jaehwan would have stopped even if you asked him to do so anyway. You were hidden just around the corner and if Hyuk took several more steps to the right, he surely would have seen you what you two were doing, making your heart race- you weren’t sure if it was from anxiety or arousal.

Jaehwan worked you perfectly on his cock, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. You were almost there, just needing a little more to have the desire inside you to explode, but you were determined not to make it happen with Sanghyuk in the same room.

Luckily, Hyuk quickly fond whatever it was he was looking for and exited the room, closing the door behind him. When he entered the hallway you could hear him shouting, “I found it Wonsik-hyung.” You didn’t know what ‘it’ was, and frankly, you didn’t really care. All that mattered right now was you and Jaehwan.

Several more thrusts later you were gone, the heat coiling tightly in your abdomen as Jaehwan exploded inside of you. Your nerves tingled as you came down from your best orgasm in a while and you continued panting as you tried to let your body recover.

Jaehwan was quick to set your body down on the floor and your knees wobbled, obviously not being stable right now to support yourself. Jaehwan, however smirked at the effect his cock had on you body and quickly dressed himself before hurrying over to the door. You tried to walk with shaky legs to the dressing room door as Jaehwan bounded out. “Hyung! Actually we decided that we will come out for drinks tonight!” Hakyeon made a noise in acknowledgement and Jaehwan smiled and turned back to you with an innocent look on his face.

“Hurry up y/n!” he pretended to scold you playfully for being slow but of course he knew the real reason for your leisurely pace.

You huffed, you were going to get Jaehwan back for this later for sure.

[katef-m]

field notes

saturday: sun-filled drive along the blue ridge parkway playing John Denver and bruce. learn that it is not a good idea to wear sunglasses when driving through tunnels. the road through the great smoky mountains twists around the sun so that it is cool and cloudy from one vista and blinding hot from another. we coast back down to the valley and stop by the French broad, squat and lazy through the hills, the water sparkling but as brown as the tamar. I see my first wild snake and remember a distant relative got bitten by a snake in North Carolina and spent many weeks in hospital. I see a lot of things for the first time: fields of sunflowers, freeway verged banked with sunflowers, fireflies, bluebirds, the snake, several unidentified bugs, butterflies the size of handkerchiefs, a raccoon dead on the side of the road. in the evening we drink sour beer as the sun flattens down the grass by our cabin. sunday: coffee from a double decker bus and a town mooch, and then we hit the road, eating sour patch kids and listening to Sharon van etten and tift merritt and all of nebraska. there is the usual getting-lost-on-terrifyingly-corporate-airport-roads nonsense but once we have returned the rental car we spend the night in a motel near the Amtrak station and eat really good burgers for dinner. I forget my ID and cant order any of the sour beers in the bar. on the way home our uber driver tells us he can't wait for his third daughter to graduate so he can go home to Nigeria. he used to live in new york, in the 'boogie down bronx'. he also warns us of the perils of the city: 'but with Uber, you are safe.' my window is down, cool wind lapping my face under a fat white moon. Monday: early rain and the carriages clanging into the station, industrial and majestic, and thirteen hours watching the grand American landscape sweep past, rain sodden woods and big white clapboard houses, fields thick with maize and sunflowers, small towns and run down cities, grain elevators, rotting barns, lakes ruffled purple with cloud, the Washington monument. train cafe coffee and nightfall in New Jersey, and the first glimpses of the city lights, and then we are in penn station and the subway is hot and noisy and friendly. Tuesday: run up round greenpoint and back, then take I to the most Williamsburg coffee shop I know, and we wander along the water and up to Peter Pan donuts for a carb feast. The uniforms are very Wes Anderson and the coffee is cheap and the donuts dangerous. a middle aged lady with a strong New York accent sits next to us with coffee, and asks the waitress in a tired voice, 'Isabella do you have a white cream left?' She does. later we take beer up to the roof of our building for the glitteriest New York sunset yet. consumed by the fear that I am taking this for granted or not making as much of it as i would have at 21, and how I still think I'm 21 in my head but how vastly I have changed since then. Wednesday: pick up coffee on the way to the subway and ride into manhattan, walk straight on to the Staten Island ferry. I have never ridden it in daylight and there are no clouds in the sky. on the way back we stand at the front as the Manhattan skyline grows larger and larger to fill the horizon, until you have to bend your neck again to see the top of the freedom tower. I eats a pretzel and we walk past the world trade centre memorial, and then I take her to union square and strand bookstore, and we buy craft beer on the way home and drink it on the roof where the sunset flames even harder than last night.