#cant tell you how utterly delighted i am every time someone is nice to me about it!!!

[corviiids]

I have found out that all your marvellous works are by the same person!!! Telltale, the funny twitter thread, the uquiz... I thought these were all by separate people

You make all the best death note thingies and I am delighted to find out that you are in fact one person

HEY IT'S YOU!!! AUTHOR OF MY FAVOURITE EVER COMMENT!!! im so happy to see you. thank you so so much for your kind words this made me grin so big

[shadowturtlesstuff]

you belong with me- thomas

this is thomas’s pov. i like doing both pov (i dont know if you can tell) but there are a few things im working on but enjoy!

“How could-? Are you even hearing yourself speak you fool? No- no. God, you know what I'm done.” I throw my phone on the bed, scaring Sir Issac in the process. I cringe even as I begin pacing back and forth. It was truly absurd, utterly crazy, that William lived in such a world where he would ever consider me being with anyone but Audrey Rose. Whilst we weren’t together per say, it was clear there would be no one else for me. The fact that he had already caused trouble for us once makes this even more irritating. I turn and find Audrey Rose already watching me. Her hair disheveled in a messy bun which tells me she is studying or researching something. I give her what I hope classifies as a smile and watches as she pulls out a familiar notebook, searches for her pen and then writes: Are you okay?

Of course she would ask if I'm okay and not what happened; using our absurd way of talking to each other instead of using the window or even messaging me. I shake my head but smile and make my way towards my window. The wind hits me, sending my hair flying but I embrace the fresh air as I watch her move herself off her bed, cursing at her stiff legs. She has been there most of the day, not moving and lost in her work and music. She curses once more as she hits her elbow on the window sill and she looks truly adorable. “You have a wicked mouth Wadsworth. Did you not learn cursing is unlady-like?” I try to ignore the other thoughts I have of her mouth.

“Fuck you,” she scowls at me. It always makes me smile hearing her curse, she always sounds confident in them somehow, making them seem so real. The first time she swore was the time she failed a science test. Well, not exactly a fail, but she was marked wrong by a substitute teacher who didn't like her so she decided to berate him in front of the whole class, starting with her shouting ‘bullshit!’ as soon as she saw her results.

“I assume dear wadsworth, you want to ask what has made me so irate?” As much as I would rather climb across the gap and make her watch another one of my romance films again instead of talk about it, I know that I should. Otherwise it'll eat at my mind when I go to sleep. As well as it being used against wadsworth in some way too.

“Perhaps,” she says, eyes sparkling with mischief as she rests her head on the wall and brings her knees to her chest, “perhaps I merely wanted to ask if Sir Issac was okay.” I nearly burst out laughing at her. She has a love hate relationship with my cat. She pretends to hate the ‘beast’ but will often let him sit on her lap or pet him whenever she is over here. When I first got him, she stayed round mine for the night and we settled him. Even then she had tried to pretend not to like him but she doesn’t remember that she fell asleep with him curled up next to her. I had to sleep on my chair because they were sprawled out, surrounded by her work.

“Really? You always refer to him as a little pest, whereas as with me, I am your dearest person, of course you want to know how I am feeling. My son is good though, very energetic today.” Said cat brushes against me and I look at him, the memory still clear in my mind. Yet I know I need to stop avoiding the problem, Audrey Rose is too kind to push me into telling her, and will let me avoid it for as long as I need. It is not the worst thing we’ve faced yet I still hate it.  

“I assume you saw the call, well that was William,” she nods, her face already falling at the mention of his name, “Yes, awful. Apparently though, there is a rumor that I'm with Miss whitehall. I don't even remember her first name, but he was convinced of our relation despite my protests. Madness.” I scoff at the sheer audacity of him and his friends. Sir Issac nuzzles into me, knowing that I'm upset and wanting to change that. As well get attention.

“Is this the same William that had convinced everyone I was dating him?”

“Yes.” Anger rolls through me at the memory of that disaster. What hurt Audrey Rose the most is that she truly thought he was a friend. She’d explained that with me she didn't try, but everyone else she had too, so when they'd fallen into easy conversations during lessons she really enjoyed having someone other than me and lize and her uncle to talk to.

“Bitch. Why on earth is he such a problem? Where on earth does he even make this assumptions about us?'' She begins pacing, her mind working faster than her steps as she no doubt recalls everything that happened. I am inclined to do the same. I can still remember her walking into her room, looking at me and falling apart. I climbed into her room and held her letting her calm before she spoke to me. I cried as well, slightly, knowing how much that friendship had meant to her. I'd made us watch a really cheesy film and she'd fallen asleep in my arms.

“I have never once,”I say to drag her back to the present “shown interest in her, nor will I ever.” I drag a hand through my hair. “She's just- a lot.” the first time id met her she was just very loud and demanding, I couldn't stand her. I'd watched her insult so many people for being themselves, for liking childish things, or in Audrey Rose's case, morbid things.

“That is the understatement of the year Cresswell. Besides, you wouldn’t work, she's too- your,” she falls silent, either lost in thought or not wanting to tell me those thoughts. Her cheeks turn a light shade of pink and I smile. She doesn't meet my eye as she sits herself down and I raise my brows as she asks what? As though she didn’t just show me that she has many inappropriate thoughts about me. She curls herself into a ball, hiding in her oversized hoodie, which is mine that I'm not sure she realizes is.

“I’m what? I'd be delighted to know your innermost thoughts of me, Wadsworth.”

“You're absurd but fine I'll elaborate,” she rolls her eyes though, even as the pink deepens slightly. Her eyes focused on my own. So I face her fully, like an astute student in class dying to seek knowledge, “you're too kind, too witty and clever and Whitehall wouldn’t appreciate you enough. You-” she stops talking immediately, as though whatever is in her mind she cant voice. Her face twists into something unreadable and I get the sense that she would rather not ever speak about me being with someone other than her.

“You forgot to mention how handsome I look, or how charming I am, but I'll take it,” she suppresses an eye roll and her smile and ignores the way my voice deepens ever so slightly. I pat Sir Issac off me and earn a whine but he jumps off me. I reach out to her and she leans, her hair ripping free of her bun with little effort from the wind. Her dark curls cling to her face, framing her perfectly too. It makes me want to hold her face in her hands and kiss her deeply.

“I don’t need to inflate your ego further Thomas.”

She inflates my ego every time she smiles at me, whether that be because of my joke or simply smiling at me because I am her friend. “I know but it would've been nice. I did say the inner most thoughts but we’ll get there. Audrey rose-I don’t belong with her, you’re right, my heart would never belong to her especially since it already belongs to someone else.”

She blinks at me, her face falling flat. Silence falls over us and I realize she thinks I'm talking about someone else. And idea forms, one that she may hate me for but one I'm going to do anyway.

“I-” she begins, no doubt going to tell me she wants me to be happy without whomever I'm with. I stand before she can say anything and she stares at me for a second so I motion for her to move. I want to be able to hold her and be next to her. I climb over and set myself on her window sill, leaving enough space for her on the other side. “I hope you are happy with whomever has your heart Cresswell.” I try to hide my smirk at her. Preparing myself for the worst. Preparing myself for her calling me an idiot and that she doesn't like me that way. I wouldn’t blame her.

“Of course I'll be happy. She's amazing. Let me tell you all about her. I met her many years back and was instantly smitten with her emerald eyes and her quick witted mind. How she sings to herself every morning and how her dark curls fall across her face whenever she sits on her bed and reads. I adore her curiosity for the dead and how wicked her mouth is and how delightful it is to watch your mind at work. I love when she shows me a note through the window to see if I'm doing okay and-”

“Wait,” she blurts out, her cheeks red now and eyes bright with shock, “Thomas, are you talking about me?”

I can’t help but laugh. She is one of the smartest people I have ever met yet she, just like I do, struggles with social cues sometimes. Albeit it she is better than I will ever be. “Yes, finally! I thought I'd have to keep speaking forever till you realized it was you.” Not that that would be a problem. As of right now I'd happily list the way her eyes are filled with both relief and shock and happiness and it's a look I want to capture whenever I need a reminder of something good in life.

She scowls at me, ignoring her blush. I take a risk and reach out my hand, moving closer so that her back is straightened on the wall, her attention fixed on me completely. No fake scowl or bright smile, just an intent gaze I can't quite pick apart. I rest my hand on her leg, now free of her (my) hoodie. “Wadsworth, darling, I have been in love with you for some time now.”

I stare at my best friend, my love, as she tries to convince herself this is real. It's truly adorable. Then her eyes widen slightly as she whispers: “I have something to show you.”

She jumps from my grip, running the short distance to her bed and then shuffling through the mountain of books and papers sprawled there until she pulls out a notebook and shakes it, letting a piece of paper drop. It's folded and creased a lot, as though it has been opened often. I watch as she faces me and slowly, her face fixed on the sheet as she opens and holds it out to me.

I read the words: I love you.

I love you.

I read them over and over and over, trying to imprint it on my brain. Her delicate handwriting and her confession reaches out to me and I desperately want to reach out to her, hold her against me and press kisses and make her laugh.

Audrey rose takes her seat across from me and I instantly reach out, holding her leg again. Anything to reassure me this is real. “I wrote that the night after you came here the second time.” her voice is soft, her curls once again framing her face as she looks at me, “Something in me clicked that no matter what you'd find a way to comfort me. Not save me, but work alongside me. I wanted to tell you I just couldn't face it. But I needed to acknowledge it. So I wrote it down, and I look at it every time we use the note system; I try to convince myself to show you.” Audrey Rose would never need saving, never want it, yet her words save my own dark heart that she has felt this way for so long, and we have somehow lived alongside each other and been so blinded by our love entwined with fears that it has taken so long to finally acknowledge them.

I debate pinching myself. Only minutes ago was I miserable and upset, yet Audrey Rose has taken her time to cheer me up. Yet even if I had left it as I am fine, even though she knows me better than that, she wouldn't have pressed for answers; would have waited for me to open up. So i lean in and the world stops as we both wait until our lips are pressed together It's a light kiss, one full of promise and wonder. When I lean back we are both smiling so freely my heart feels as though it too is reaching out to hold Audrey rose. We trade kisses, never wanting to leave this loop but I do lean back away from her. I’m already too drunk on her kisses, I need to breathe, to process this so I can remember it. Once my back is against the wall I pull her, twisting so her back is against mine, leaning into my warmth and I rest my head atop hers. Trying to contain my smiles but to no avail. My hand covers hers and as i look down at her i notice she doesn't bother controlling her smile. It is a magnificent sight.  

“Now would be a perfect time to tell me how handsome I am, my love.”

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[datingadviceonreddit]

I used to day dream about her. I'm sitting there, in 2nd period math, in my chair, and the lecture currently underway is merely a background murmur. I'm not in the class, I'm laying on my back in a grassy field looking up at the clouds with her, and were smiling. "Uh HuM?!" No, I'm in fact in 2nd period math.I want to tell her how I feel. I go through these scenarios in my mind, endlessly. There she is, its time. "Hi Lani, I like you. Can we hang out?"...."no, I kind of have a boyfriend".I'm crushed. I had thought of this moment for weeks, months even. What was wrong with me? How could I be so stupid to not know she had a boyfriend? What makes him better than me? She doesn't want me.This theme continued for me. In high school I blossomed. I joined the football program as well as track and field and went on to be a first team all league two way starter I was champion middle distance runner as well. I was tall, and super fit, and handsome. I had one girlfriend my whole high school experience and it lasted 3 weeks, and I kissed her one time. I was terrified of being rejected.College was similar. I played football, was a team captain, biology major, smart, handsome, and was utterly ineffective with any woman. I was the worlds leading specialist in the "crash and burn" approach. It was soooo hard for me to talk to women. The fear of being rejected and confirming that I am somehow flawed to the point of utter unwantedness was always there. I fact, even at victory house parties for the football players, I was there feeling lonely and having to drink a lot of beer to build some semblance of courage. Mainly the drinking was to silence the inner monologue of doubt. From time to time the stars would align and I would go for it. "Hi, I'm Nate. How are you doing tonight?" Sounds like a normal question. To me, it was like an alien probe sent out to detect even the smallest indication of interest. I'm holding it together, and I'm hoping we can get to phase 2. Phase 2 would be actually talking, as that would mean she may possible be interested, and maybe down the line, she may want me. Well, what usually would happen is that my anxiety would gradually build up, and I would be trying to make jokes to keep the conversation going while also assessing her every gesture, glance, and movement as to ascertain what she maybe thinking and in particular, how she might be feeling about me. And BOOOM. It would happen. The balloon of hope I had inflated by having her stand there interacting with me would pop. "Hey, you seem really nice, but I'm going to go find my friends now. Have fun, nice meeting you". Yep, truly unwanted. Another rejection.You know, for those "ugly" people that imagine this easy world for the attractive folks, I can say from my perspective that I would never wish to actually be ugly, but on some level I thought it would be easier. For me, to know I'm good looking, tall, and have a lot going for me, and to still be unwanted, that rejection and failure was about the essence of ME. I as a person was broken. I wasn't short, I wasn't fat, but I was flawed as a human being in some unknown way that I could not overcome with all the effort in the world. All the jokes. All the beer. Do you feel sorry for me? No. Good, me neither.Well, I have come to wake up to something really big. I have come to understand the nature of rejection, and in a way that has provided me freedom from the experience of being rejected. It doesn't remove the risk in life, and it doesn't guarantee any results, but it has freed me from ever living in the impact of getting told no in my life. That I can put myself out there, get told no, and not in anyway invalidate that no. In fact, when I think about it this way, I find some delight in being told no because I get to experience the utter triumph over who I used to be in this regard. That being told no doesn't have to mean im not wanted. It doesn't mean im not good enough. It doesn't mean that I can't have what I want in my life. No just means No. It's someone saying no to whatever I proposed, and that is very much separate from any judgements I make about myself.Everyone can relate to the experience of rejection. Everyone. But the question I present to you now is can you relate to being free from the experience of rejection? Not many can, because many people don't see rejection as simply and experience as I have come to. You live as if rejection is something that is actually happening. Go back to my first experience. What did Lani say to me? She said she maybe has a boyfriend right? Well then, who said that means that I'm not good enough? Who said that I am not wanted? Who said I'm hurt? Who said that I was rejected? Did Lani say those things? Did she intend to hurt me? No and no. So what I experienced was real, but only real as an experience. Lani had a boyfriend! She couldn't say yes to me>Do you know that most people fear being asked out because they hate having to say no? They feel pressure because they are aware of this human phenomenon called "rejection". Yet for the person being "rejected" they almost feel victimized. In fact, many harbor anger towards people who they feel rejected them.When you really look at the world of rejection, you see that someone is putting their whole identity at stake in a loaded invitation. Their emotional status, sense of self, future, happiness, it is all riding on the response of someone you barely know and doesn't know you other than whatever sentences you create. In this world where rejection happens out there and is real, your sense of self now requires no freedom for anyone else. You depend on a yes, and so subconsciously are applying the pressure to the other person who you are now dependent on to feel okay. IF they say yes, you will be overcome with joy or excited, and if they say no you maybe devastated or disappointed. Do you think this has any impact on the other person? Do you think that they may experience a loss of freedom in this scenario, even if not full aware of why this feels a little awkward? How many people take that No and have it be positive? How many actually feel hurt, embarrassed, or disappointed and try to win and oscar by stuffing that feeling and looking like they are okay? Like, no, that didn't bother me. I'm fine. In fact I'm so fine and dandy, ill spend the next few weeks showing you I'm not at all affected by ignoring your existence and being "happy" whenever I see you.So in the world of rejection, there are billions of opportunities to feel rejected, and people start to slow down. They stop going for it. They don't want to feel that pain, and they start to reduce their goals. They lower their standards. They pretend to not want things so they can avoid having to put themselves out there to get them. And, they think that rejection is real. Its out there waiting for them.I will say this, and some may get it. Rejection is ONLY real as an experience. It is a valid experience, and its shared almost universally in its many possible forms. It is however not real in the world, that rejection does not come from others. It is merely and interpretation, one that we are all individually responsible without exception for creating for ourselves. In fact, most people are not saying no to your whole being. It just no i don't want to get coffee late. It's just no, we are not hiring. It's just no, I don't find you attractive as a preference. IF someone truly intends for you to feel the sting of rejection when you ask them out, would what that sick person thinks of you really matter? What kind of a sociopath would conjure ways to inflict people with all of those feelings? And why on earth would you even care what that really hurt person thinks? Wouldn't them being that way warp them enough to no qualify to have any opinion.Its funny how when a new relationship forms, we have this consensus that tells us there has to be some time that passes before anyone truly knows each other. So saying I love you is off limits maybe for months, as nobody can know someone in only a week or two even if they dated everyday. IF that is the case, then why would you feel entirely crushed when someone you have known for 3 minutes has said they don't want coffee with you? How can that person really reject you? How can their choice actually define you in anyway, or have any meaning about you? Does that NO alter your credit scores? Does it retroactively change your GPA? Does it force you to miss payments on you car? Does it mean you cant be trusted to pick kids up at soccer practice? Does it affect the quality of the scrambled eggs you can make? Does it change the trajectory of your career? You feel like you lost something in life, but did you? No, you just made an effort to create something new, and it didn't happen. You lost nothing. So the experience you have is in fact not at all grounded in what is happening. It is a valid experience, but it is nonetheless not real other than as and experience. Its a phenomenon that only exists as a projection onto life, and you have mistaken it as life itself as if rejection has been actually happening. Nope, it never happened actually. It only occurred to yo to happen. It seemed to happen to you. But you in a sense said all those things about you. Even if someone said them, or highlighted some reason to reject you, they didn't make the impact. You had to give agreement to that to create the experience of rejection.The question is, what does life look like when NO is no longer experienced as "rejection" but rather simply experienced as NO? What if you can take NO and experience disappointment, but not ever rejection? What if you could actually try this today? Go deliberately try to get a NO just to notice what YOU make No mean. What happens to someone when No simply means No? It's powerful. You give up resisting no, and many of them become a yes as you take the pressure on the other away. You take the attachments away. Your reaction to NO is refreshing and can be surprising even. When you can take no as just no, you will have more freedom to get back on track with what is important to you, and start to look at how many goals or things you said you loved or wanted in life you have pretended to move on from. How many things have you given up on in life just by fearing being told no? And this whole time you have lived like that rejection was out there, and in a sense, have been dominated by that concern to a point where you have stopped yourself.No means No. The rest is your interpretation. You can keep it. Its valid and real for you. But, you are the sole author of that interpretation. Nobody else. When you start to accept no, and you can give up the ideas around rejection actually happening to you, you will have freedom and you can start to try to get as many NOs as possible because it is also inevitable that you would get that YES that would make the difference. So go and try to get a no. It doesn't mean anything about you. Being able to be with no, that is power. via /r/dating_advice