#cant even get on this app peacefully now

[cncxoxo]

You really have a pinned post on your blog saying no n*zis or antisemites allowed but you're saying in the same breath no zionists? That's some clown shit right there. Zionism isn't inherently anti-Palestinian. Denying the Jewish people their right to their indigenous homeland is fucked up.

Well, first of all I would like to be excused if this comes out as rude.

I'm there, on my blog on a "pinned post" stating clearly no zionists are allowed. And here anon really putting up the nerve to come and police about it.

What we are discussing in the post is zionism as a form of discrimination where there is no right for other people to have an access to their land, when that land is being taken away from them forcefully. Also, zionism being anti-palestinian or not (im not an expert to this) but people are still using it for their leverage to promote oppressive measures to gain their "indigenous land"?!!

Again,not an expert of anything that's being discussed here so feel free to add or point out any info that seems wrong.

The feeling of one being superior to another also through establishment of a state based on religious majority rather than something uniformly civil and why do people always be in their little privileged bubbles, I'm not going rant about some history lecture that needs to be taken up by anon but really what pisses me off is the amount of nerve it took for them to be this level of ignorant.

also making it clear that I will not interact w any of this in future and will gladly report and block this (and by "this" I mean the type of ask I got above)

[juli19varez]

Sur...prise? | Alejandro Balde X Reader

summary: alejandro tried to do a surprise to you, but... well.

warnings: fem!reader, attempt to make it funny, reader described to be overworked (not too explicitly), fluff.

author's note: this was a request but my app excluded all of a sudden 😭 anyways, really liked that request and i made it a little more longer than i wanted (still good i swear) hope you like it and sorry for any mistakes <3 (requests open)

it was almost midnight, you were still studying on your dorm for your next exams, almost sleeping on your books, when you heard a knock on the door. confused and exhausted, you got up to see who was there at such a time. when you opened the door, you could see alejandro smiling, while carrying some bags with him, your eyes widened.

"ale, what the hell are you doing here?!" you said whispering. you knew the rules of the dorm very well. no one from the men's dorms could go to the women's dorms after ten o'clock.

alejandro grinned, entering your room. "i was bored, so i was thinking 'why not go visit mi princesa preciosa?' and here i am!" he said proudly, putting the bags on your desk.

you sighed closing the door, approaching him quickly. "you know the rules here and how much this is dangerous! are you crazy?" you whispered, touching his chest. ale looked down, smirking. "maybe i am, but it was worth the risk," he whispered, giving a little peck at your lips, making you blush.

ale smiled, taking your hand. "come on, i bought you presents, dont be mad at me" he pouted giving you puppy eyes, you shook your head in disbelief. ale pulled you closer, hugging you.

"okay, I'm sorry, that must be some stress because of the finals." you sighed, hugging him back tightly. he stroked your hair, nodding.

"I know that, that's why I'm here." you looked at him confused as he goes to grab the bags again, handing them to you. "open up!" opening the bags, you saw a stuffed animal, and the other, some chocolates.

"I know how stressed you get with these things and overwork yourself, and i cant be by your side all the time, so I bought that bear so you could use some company, he's even using my perfume!" he pointed, looking happy. "and the chocolates... well, you love chocolate."

you smiled, looking at him happily. "you're literally the best boyfriend ever!" he chuckled as you started to kiss all his face, hugging him like a koala. "wow, you really do love me, hm?" you nodded, feeling his arms around you.

"uhm... we just have one problem..." ale hid his face on the crook of your neck. you murmured telling him to continue. "i can't get back to my dorm right now, you know? and im really tired right now... and you need to rest a little, dont you think?"

you tried to say something to complain, but knew he was right, it was almost impossible to leave the building while the guards were everywhere, and wouldn't be a bad idea to sleep together after so much time studying. you nodded, leading him to your bed. "just this time, you troublemaker, don't get used to it." he laid beside you, babbling something you didn't really paid attention, too focused turning the lights on your side off.

you turned to face him, smiling at his sleepy face. "good night, amor" he kissed your nose, hugging you by the waist, resting his head on the top of yours. "good night, preciosa."

8:00am. you heard someone knocking on your door again, you tried to get up, but alejandro was hugging you tight, it made you smile. when you were about to get back to sleep, you heard someone outside.

"y/n!!! you promised to us that we would study together this morning! open up, girl!" your eyes widened realizing it was your friends, you whispered a 'holy shit' when you glanced back to ale, who was still sleeping peacefully by your side.

"u-uhm... one second!!! im... im in the bathroom!" you said back, trying to wake alejandro up. "please, wake up amor" you begged, and finally he opened his eyes, stretching himself and smiling tired. "good morn-"

"no time for it!! hide in the bathroom, right now" you whisper shouting to him, amost pushing him inside there. he looked so confused that made you feel bad, you murmured 'sorry' for him all the time while he just chuckled. "I'll explain later, just don't make any sound until i open the door again." he nodded, and you headed to the girls, still knocking on the door.

"why did you take so long?" "sorry, i was going to take a shower, and then you two appeared." you smiled awkwardly, trying to hide your nervousness. you took a little look até the gifts of the last night, at the same time your friends did. oh no.

"OMG! who gave you this?! this is so cute!!!" they screamed in awe, looking at the heart shaped box with chocolates.

"i-i.... uhm, someone not really important! just a... guy i know..." you grabbed the bear and the box quickly, putting them behind you. "ooh, come on! tell the truth."

"i-it was a guy i met sometime ago... i like h-him, you know?" you said shyly, feeling your cheeks burning, the two girls continued to say how cute and romantic that was. you interrupted them to make some bad excuse to cancel your plans, and they left.

you sighed in relief, hearing the bathroom door crack. "so... you like me?" alejandro hugged you from behind, kissing your red cheek. you laughed, pulling him off. "shut up!"

[words-for-holland]

Quarantine Series: Beat the Heat

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Tom hasn’t had to worry about another guy taking Y/N away...but the heat? Well that’s a story worth telling.

A/N: Only 1 more part left after this?! 🥺 Definitely not trying to prolong the wait on this just so QS can live on.

Check the Rest: Burnt Out | A New Look | Secret Cuts & Kisses | Breaking Friendships |The Birthday Week | Movie Night | Silence is Golden? | Birthday Date Night | Orinthophobia

Masterlist

Summer in London was anything but hot. It was your typical short, comfortable, partly cloudy type of summer with periods of rain here and there. It’s rarely below 60’s and never went over the 100’s. However one stubborn week in July turned out to be the hottest week London had ever seen. Forget high 90’s, the area’s temperature would push to 104 degrees that London itself might as well test postive for Cornavirus. For Tom, Y/N, Harrison, Harry, and Tuwaine, it was going to be a game of survival of the fittest.

“I swear global warming is a thing. This heat, the pandemic...It’s the end of the world!” Tuwaine groans as he desperately fans himself with his hand.

“Relax you drama queen.” Tom replies, as he sets up the air conditioner. “Okay so according to the Nest. If I just tilt the circle to left, it should turn the AC on in about 10 minute.” He states, reading the instructions aloud in hopes that cooling device works as expected.

“Well that was easy. So as long as we all stay inside and hydrated, we should be fine and there wont be any need for hand fanning.” Y/N justifies as she looks at Tuwaine, who was still fanning himself with his own hand.

“What? I sweat a lot when Im hot. Im just doing my part.” Tuwaine defends, as he shrugs his shoulder. “When the ten minutes pass and the air is on, I’ll stop fanning.”

Surprisingly, the air conditioner was working as expected! Tom had never felt so proud of himself, that it was all he talked about for the remainder of the day to everyone in the household. Especially since Y/N’s career was all so focused on technology. Tom wanted to make her proud and show that he too can handle techy stuff on his own. “See Y/N, I programmed the Nest all by myself, and I even downloaded the app so I can change the temperature from my phone no matter where I am.” He gloats proudly. “If you feel hot when Im away in Berlin, you can call me and I’ll lower the temp for you.”

Y/N rolls her eyes while she laughs at her fiance’s nerdiness. Of course she knew just about anyone could figure out how to work a nest, but Tom was so proud of what he’s accomplished, she couldn’t really stop him from celebrating his personal victory. “What about me? If I get hot will you turn down the temp for me when you’re in Berlin?” Harrison mocked, as he batted his eyelashes to his best mate.

“You have a phone. You can do it yourself.” Tom says bluntly as he comes around to Y/N’s side on the couch.

“So does she!” Harrison points, accusingly.

“Yeah...but it’s Y/N.” Tom points out, speaking as if it was the most obvious reason.

Harrison turns his face back to the television shaking his head, mumbling “Whipped.” with a slight smirk.

Tom did not hesitate to throw an extremely large pillow toward his best friend before saying, “Of course I am, you div. That’s why I proposed to her and not you.”

Later that night, Y/N and Tom had already cuddled into bed, falling into a deep slumber...Well one more than the other. It got extremely hot for Y/N as she noticed the change in atmosphere. The air felt much warmer, her body feeling slick and sticky from her sweat. The heavy comforter, Tom’s arm wrapped around her body, and his warm breath behind her neck were making her extremely uncomfortable. It wasn’t odd for Y/N to move a little in her sleep. Tom was very much aware of that the moment they spent their first night together, but it was rare that she’d push him off and face the other side with no blankets covering her.

Tom felt an emptiness in his arms, and no extra weight on his legs and waist. Something was definitely off for him, and he lazily put his hand out to feel for Y/N with his eyes still closed. “Y/N?” He grumbled in his sleep, trying to cuddle back to her. “Why...you move?”

“Too hot.” Y/N mumbled back as she pushed him away again. “AC broken.”

“Fuck.” Tom groans, as both tried to go back to sleep. Unfortunately, it was nearly impossible for Tom to go back to sleep. Not only was it extremely hot, but he didnt have Y/N on top of him. A position he’s so used to sleeping in his own bed. He certainly wasn’t going to let a good 8 hours of sleep do him dirty like this. He rolled off the bed, as he padded his barefeet on the hardwood floor. Tom went downstairs finding exactly what he needed, carrying the bulk slowly as to minimize the noise and avoid dropping them.

He makes it back to his room, where Y/N rolled on her side snoring peacefully. Tom shook his head smiling at how adorable she looked even though it was probably way too early and dark to even make that assumption, but there was no need. He knew Y/N always looked beautiful to him even on her worst days. Tom plugged the two fans in, turning it to the highest setting. Air was blasting through the fans as it turned rapidly. The room that was once hot and sticky, was now cool and refreshing. In fact it started to get so much cooler, Y/N could feel the goosebumps on her arms. Her eyes were still closed but she instinctively turned on her other side, facing Tom. “Mm. It’s cold.” She mumbles in her sleep.

Tom smiles at her, slowly lifting her leg onto his and pulling her close. “I know darling. Come ‘ere. I’ll keep you warm.” His arm was now wrapped her waist, and he smiled even brighter in victory. As if a broken AC was ever going to prevent Tom’s cuddling sleep with Y/N. Broken house appliances should know about Tom is that when it comes to Y/N...if there’s a will, there’s a way.

The next morning, Y/N and the boys had already made their way to the kitchen, installing mini fans around the house. Tom was the last to come down after his victorious slumber, where he was greeted by a sacastic applause from his best mates. “Well done, Tom. Absolutely smashed it with the AC.” Harry cheers, sweat already drippin from his forehead.

“Yeah and nice going stealing the fans last night.” Harrison laughed, chiming in.

“Oh piss off.” Tom scowls at his younger brother, making his way to the Nest. “I don’t understand. I followed the directions.” He groans trying to check what went wrong.

YN popped up from the back, phone in hand. “Well sorry boys, looks like we wont have a working AC until the end of this week.”

“What?!” The three boys shot up in unison.

“Yeah, the AC’s parts are really old, but the electric company said that they can order new ones today and have it installed on Friday..so no worries guys. We’ll all just sleep downstairs in the meantime, till then.”

They all groaned loudly, like the drama queens they were, making their own way. Tom comes up behind Y/N. “Uhh that totally defeats the whole purpose of why I put those mini fans in our room last night.” He objected with a cheeky smile his face.

“Thomas Stanely Holland. You do not steal fans for yourself just so you have an excuse to cuddle me in your sleep.” She teasingly chastises, sticking her tongue out at him.

“Steal?! I’ll have you know I don’t steal fans..I gain them.” He wiggles his eyebrows ar Y/N, making her laugh. “Plus don’t act liek you didn’t love cuddling with me last night to protect you from the cold.”

“Stop. That’s too cheesy.” She snorts, trying to walk away from him.

“Make me, darling.” He dares, holding her in place as he continues to wiggle his eyebrows.

Y/N smiles at him, her hands slowly making their face to both sides of his face. His eyes closes, as she gently strokes on side of his cheekbone down to his jawline. She leans ever so slowly into him, just barely touching his lips. Toms arms around her loosen, ready to lift her chin up just so their lips could close the painful tiny distance of air. It was then Y/N took her shot, and ran away from Tom, yelling at Harrison that Tom was going to steal the fans for himself.

“Hey! That’s cheating!” Tom yells out, chasing after Y/N.

“No that’s called being clever.” Y/N cackles, poorly mocking her fiance’s British accent.

“God I cant wait for this AC to start working again.” Tom groans as he makes his way after Y/N.

Taglist:

@hollanddolanfangirl @parkerspillow @joyleenl @kihyunwifes @holland-bowen @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @marvelobsessedteenager @viwihere

[tiktok-storys]

J. Hossler - Hate

(Not my GIF)

Your 17, you are pretty skinny but you always were self-conscious

Pairing: Jaden x y/n

Warnings: angst, insecurity, disorder eating

Summary: You live in the Sway House with your boyfriend Jaden and a bunch of your friends, a couple days ago Zoe Laverne started drama with you because you passed her in followers. Since then you started getting a ton of hate. Jaden notices your change and tries to help.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You are currently sitting in your room, which you share Jaden, and scroll through your phone trying to avoid all social media apps. After playing Among Us for 30 minutes you get bored and open Instagram and see a new TikTokRoom post. You know you shouldn’t look at it since its Zoe again, but you don’t really care and watch the screen record of her live stream where she and her mother made fun of you. They say stuff like “She doesn’t deserve her followers” “She is too ugly anyways” and stuff like this, you start getting upset and click at the comments to see what the fans have to say. You see a lot of people agreeing with Zoe, but you also see comments from every Sway member saying she should keep your name out of her mouth and stuff like this. You just keep reading the comments, after a while you get up and walk into your bathroom, take of your T-Shirt and look at your body in the mirror. You keep starring at your body and find more and more flaws, your stomach isn’t flat, your legs are fat and so on, after 10 minutes you put your T-Shirt back on and go into your closet to find a pair of sweatpants and a big hoodie from Jaden. You put it on and walk downstairs and look for the boys, you find all of the sitting on the couch just in shorts because its way too hot today, you are kinda hot but you also don’t want the boys to see your body. You are scared they get disgusted when they look at you. You walk into the living room and just sit down next to Jaden without saying anything; the boys exchange a look because normally you are a very happy and talkative person. Jaden takes your hand without saying anything and you lean against his shoulder, the boys are planning their new YouTube videos right now so you don’t really listen. Actually you are very tired because you haven’t slept last night duo to your thoughts racing through your brain. You close your eyes and slowly fall asleep. After Jaden notices you are asleep he lays down and pulls you onto his chest while rapping his arms around you.

JADEN POV

I look down at y/n, she’s sleeping peacefully, but what’s worrying me is the Hoddie because its around 95 degrees outside. As if Bryce could read my mind he shoots me a questionable look and says

Bryce: Do you know what’s going on? She’s acting kinda weird Jaden: I don’t know two hours ago everything was fine Kio: do you guys think she saw the new post on TikTokRoom with Zoe? Last time she was pretty upset Jaden: that could it be, but what could we do about it? Bryce: Maybe talk to her later? Jaden: Yeah good idea

We keep talking until I notice y/n slowly waking up

YOU’RE POV

You wake up laying on Jaden’s chest, but you’re just not in the mood to talk to them so you just lay there not saying anything while the boys talk. You notice that it’s just Kio, Bryce, Jaden and you. After a couple minutes Kio gets up to his room, Jaden turns his head to you and asks Jaden: you alright y/n? You are so quite. You nod your head you: yeah I am fine, just tired

Bryce: you sure? You know you can talk to us! You: yeah I know, but I’m really fine Jaden: okay, if you say so, but talk to me if something is bothering you You just nod your head, Jaden keeps stroking your hair while he talks to Bryce, you know that they noticed that something is off but you don’t really care.

After a couple minutes Jaden asks Jaden: we are getting dinner you want something baby? You think about all the comments and get disgusted with yourself again, so you shake your head Jaden: you have to eat! I haven’t seen you eat anything today You: I ate while you were at the gym I’m fine just really tired… Jaden knows that arguing with you now won’t help so he lets you go and you walk back into yours and Jaden’s room, you lay down and immediately fall asleep.

SKIP TWO WEEKS

The past two weeks you have barely eaten anything and lost 20 pounds, you know it’s not healthy but you don’t care. You still get a ton of hate and Zoe noticed that she can affect you with her lives so she keeps doing it, even though she gets a lot of hate for doing it she just keeps going. Everyone in Sway noticed your change, but they don’t noticed your weight loose because you always wear wide and baggy clothes, but Jaden knows since you two share a room. Right now you are standing in front of the big bathroom mirror and look at yourself, the only thing you see is fat all over your body. You’re just wearing a bh and shorts. Suddenly the door opens, you try to grap at least your hoodie but it’s too late, Jaden walks in and as soon as he sees you he looks at you in shook. You immediately start crying so he comes over to you and pulls you in for a hug. After a couple minutes he lets go of you but still holds your shoulder Jaden: why didn’t you talk to me? I would have helped you You: I’m fine, it’s just the hate got to me a little too much… Jaden: you aren’t fine and you don’t need to lie to me, I’ll help you okay? We are getting through this together You: thank you so much, but… Jaden: no buts I am your boyfriend and I am going to help you okay? you just nod your head. He takes your hand and pulls you back into your room, you put on a Hoddie and a pair of his sweatpants. After your done he takes your hand and walks down into the kitchen with you. You really don’t want to eat but you know you don’t have a choice anymore. In the kitchen Jaden takes out a prepackaged salad from your dinner yesterday and places it in front of you. You take the fork and start eating slowly, you gag after you took the first couple of bites and really cant eat anymore, so you push your plate away and just shake your head, while tears start forming in your eyes. Jaden reacts immediately, he comes over to you and pulls you in a hug Jaden: that wasn’t much but at least a bit, don’t stress to much about it okay? You let go of him, whip your tears away and nod your head.

PART 2 ???

[gtseven7]

My Seven Idols

this is the picture mentioned in the story

Summary:

Got7 as highschoolers as they deal with graduation and college at the same time starting up their own Youtube channel as idols. 

A/N:

So this is chapter 1. Really, I wasnt supposed to write this thing but it has been bugging me for months and I just cant shake it off okay? I tried resisting thinking, dude you're on your way to the juicy parts of Seven Princes. But whelp I lost a battle within myself and wrote this anyway. I hope you guys like it!

masterlist

//prev

1

The click-clacking of the keyboard echoed in the room as Y/N furiously typed the remaining subtitle of the video she had been editing the last few nights. Hitting the export button, the brunette could finally exhale and relax. The beach aesthetic video she had been working on was now in the process of being complete. She just has to wait till it loads to a hundred and her hard work will pay off. Smiling to herself, she minimized the editing software and opened up her InstaBook. She scrolled leisurely, seeing the pictures of her peers and some from her photographer idols. Y/N was examining an aesthetic cityscape picture from one of her favorite photo blogs, Def, when her notification alerted her of a great news. Ding! And the words that popped up from the right corner of her screen made her screech. As it was almost midnight, she had to restrain herself and not wake her parents. But she can’t help the giggle that escaped her mouth. She quickly clicked the pop up. It said: pjy_01 updated his profile picture. When the picture loaded, Y/N's jaw almost unhinged. Park Jinyoung a.k.a. Mr. Student Council President rarely posts a picture of himself. His feed was usually just books, food and random sceneries. He did have few self-taken pictures and Y/N was happy with it (some of them are really just bad quality but she’ll take it) but this one? This one’s just beautiful, amazing, gift from the heavens. He was sitting on a comfy white couch, staring directly at the camera with puppy eyes. His white button up was slightly unbuttoned(!!) as he wore an innocent face and a cute peace sign as a cherry on top. Y/N was just about to scream and jump around. But before that, she made sure to save the picture in her Jinyoung Stash folder. “Woah. What is this Jinyoung? You should always post things like this. I’ll be a happy woman.” She sighed dreamily, staring at her screen but missed the notification of her software that finished exporting her video. 

Y/N was rudely interrupted when her phone suddenly rang. Not even looking at the caller id, she answered the call with an annoyed tone. “What?” No one would be phoning her at this time other than her best friend. “Yo chill out Y/N.” Youngjae laughed at the other end, knowing he most likely disturbed her from her hobby. Which isn’t entirely false, he just didn’t know that the hobby at the moment was staring at their president and not videography. ”It’s midnight Youngjae, what do you need?” She elicited another hearty laugh from the guy. Any other circumstance, she’ll laugh along since his laugh is contagious but this time was not it. “Well?”

“Geez, aren’t you such a joy tonight. I’m just gonna ask if you already finished the essay homework due tomorrow.” 

Blank silence. It was then that Y/N laughed at the ridiculing situation. Homework? Was there ever one? And she voiced it out, still half cheerful and half threatening. Youngjae might be pranking her once again. “The essay homework Mr. Kwon asked us to do. The one about Romeo and Juliet. Don’t tell me you don’t remember?” Youngjae chuckled a little too, thinking that his friend was making fun of him. When the only sound he heard was the bark of his cute dog Coco beside him, Youngjae started to sweat. “You haven’t done a single thing didn’t you?!”

“I think I’m gonna puke. Youngjae-ahh~ What do I do?!” 

Y/N's eyes bugged out, realizing that yes, there is indeed an essay due tomorrow. And it is for Mr. Kwon’s subject, her most feared teacher. Oh how that teacher terrifies her whole being. How could she be so stupid?! “Youngjae!!! What do I do? What do I do?!” Panic was starting to rise from her gut, her heart beating too fast that even midnight coffee can’t do. Add the obvious panic in her bestfriend’s voice on the other end, it made things worse for her. “I don’t know! Uh… I can lend you mine? Just modify some parts. Paraphrase things…”  

“Oh my God Youngjae I love you. You’re the best!!” 

“You owe me one Y/N.” 

“I do, I do. Thanks so much.” 

They bid goodnight to each other, Youngjae promising to pick her up from her house so she won’t be late; she once again praised his goodness before hanging up. And as promised, he sent her his homework, Jinyoung’s picture on her screen forgotten. Y/N once again typed relentlessly through the night. 

“I bet Jinyoung never had a problem like this. Y/N you must do better!”

That motivation fueled her to write the essay about Romeo and Juliet even if she didn’t understand what it was about aside from it being a romance story. Little did the sophomore videographer know, her high pedestaled president sat on his chair under the dim light of his study desk at the same time as her. He was hunched in concentration on the essay he stalled on doing days before it was to be submitted. 

No words flowed, his pen stuck mid-air. “Argh. What the heck is this shit about anyway?” Jinyoung huffed as he crumpled his nth paper and tossed it in the bin beside him. His brain was not cooperating with him that night and it’s just frustrating. Why does he have to explain why the economy of their country is not thriving as it used to? It’s just plain bullshit to be honest. He had mountains of council work the past few days and he wasn’t able to attend few classes including the class he was supposed to write this essay for. This is why he hates skipping, when things like this essay arrive, he doesn’t know what to do. He didn’t have time to read up everything that’s why he just went straight to bluffing his way out of the conclusion of the paper. The distracting noise of the instrument app on Jaebeom’s phone didn’t help him much either. “You have your own room, your own bed. Why are you always here?” His housemate just shrugged and continued his melody making. It was sounding good to be honest, not that his friend ever made a bad song but the other’s process was just making the writing too difficult for him. “How can I even finish when you distract me like this?”

“One, Jinyoung, it was your fault for not doing it earlier. Two, you are not distracted by my music. You just don’t want to do that stupid paper.” 

And it hit him too well. He’s right. Most times, Jaebeom’s music calms him but this time his brain just straight up refuses to do a thing. His long haired companion exited the app after saving his work. Jaebeom laid down on Jinyoung’s bed. He patted the space beside him, encouraging the other to lie down with him and sleep. “Don’t push yourself too hard. Get some sleep first, you’ve had a harsh week.” 

“Get out of my bed.”

“Hmm…”

And with that, Jaebeom closed his eyes to sleep. He’s not a fast sleeper per se, he’s just waiting for Jinyoung to join him but he didn’t. He opened his eyes just a slit saw the student body president scribbling again with a determined face. 

Few hours after, it was almost three in the morning. Jinyoung has to get up at six to prepare for their eight o’clock class. He doesn’t like not sleeping properly but for the sake of that damned paper, he had to sacrifice. He sighed once again and turned off the lamp. Looking to his right, he saw his friend sleeping peacefully, facing him from the farther half of the bed. Jinyoung shook his head in exasperation. He sat on the unoccupied side and stared at his friend of ten years. His face lax and serene. The nose ring glints under the soft glow of the stars from the window. Jinyoung’s hand inched towards the other’s face, stopping midway. He clenched his fist and brought it back to himself. ‘Ah, I really wanna remove that nose ring so badly.’

Morning came and the sunlight was harsh on Y/N’s face. She finished her essay in time, luckily. She trudged along the hallways of their small house, the only thing that woke her up completely was the smell of fresh bacon being cooked. She quickly ate her breakfast, showered and said goodbye to her parents with a tired smile. The sound of the bell announced the arrival of Youngjae by their door. She opened it and her friend almost screamed bloody murder. “I thought a zombie came out to eat me.” 

“Shut up.”

Youngjae laughed and slung an arm on her shoulders. He ruffled her already messy hair further. “Did you finish the write up?” She gave a gloomy thumb’s up while yawning, earning a giggle from the boy. “Ah seriously, you should take care of your studies more Y/N.” 

“Says you. You were up all night long playing. I can see it on the bags under your eyes.”

“At least I finished my work before doing so, unlike someone I know…”

Y/N clicked her tongue in disapproval but she knows he’s right though. “I got carried away with the good shots I had when me and Yeji went to the beach last week. Aah, I made such a good video last night.” Youngjae smiled at her friend as he watched her walk half asleep. 

Y/N and Youngjae were friends since they were toddlers. With their mothers practically sisters because of their closeness, and their houses are just one backyard away from each other, the two developed a close friendship. Oftentimes they’d be hanging out in their places, playing video games or reading comics. Although when they started to grow up more, they drifted away slightly, having different circles of friends. That didn’t bother the two of them though. They thought that it’s better to have their friendship outside school so that they won’t get sick seeing each other’s faces all the time. With this, they rarely go to school together anymore. Their classmates are in the dark about their closeness as well.  

Youngjae pulled out his phone and scrolled his pictures. He suddenly got excited about showing his bestfriend about his dog’s new outfit he bought recently. “Y/N, Y/N, look at Coco. I bought a new shirt. It’s so cute.” He practically shoved the phone on her eyes but it didn’t matter much to her as she was as excited as him. They practically raised that cute dog together. “Omo! Coco’s so adorable!” They were both bouncing on their steps as they look at the dog’s pictures posing differently with each new clothing. The two of them were cooing. “Ah, Coco is such a joy.” 

"Y/N!” 

They both stopped on their tracks when they heard a familiar voice. It was Yeji, Y/Ns other bestfriend outside Youngjae (he’s still the bestest but Yeji doesn’t know that). She happily waved at her two classmates, a teasing smile forming on her face already. ‘Youngjae and Y/N walking together eh? How interesting!’

Yeji’s appearance was their cue to head apart so Y/N smiled at Youngjae and said goodbye. “See ya later in class!” He just hummed in agreement, seeing as his peers are also in sight. He waved at Yeji and parted with Y/N He walked towards his other friends and greeted them. 

"So Youngjae huh?”

“What about him?”

“Nothing…” Which wasn’t true because now she is sporting a silly smile on her face. Probably imagining things outside of this world and conjuring up different ways how her friend and Youngjae fall in love. Yeji is a fangirl at heart and she just ships everybody. She never imposes it to everyone though, she’s just happy to think about it and keep it to herself. Amazingly enough though, the people she secretly shipped usually ends up together at some point. But Y/N knows her too well and she knows the outlandish things going in her mind right now. “We just happened to meet along the way Yeji.”

“I didn’t say anything!”

The school entrance as it always is, was full of commotion. More so today than usual. Y/N saw a hoard of students lining up the gate with annoyed expressions. ‘Ah, it’s probably President Jinyoung.’ She giggled to herself, happy to see him early in the morning. She’s still a little bit over the moon with his latest picture. “Do I look okay?”, that question snapped Y/N out of her daydream (the picture still lingering at the back of her mind). Yeji took out a small mirror and checked herself out. She combed her hair with her fingers, checked her uniform, straightened everything that doesn’t look ironed out. “You know he just nags at those who violate badly. We’ll never get reprimanded.” Yeji breathed deeply as she puts her mirror back to her bag. “I’m just making sure you know. I don’t want those cold eyes stare at me. It’s scary.” Y/N wanted to protest, ‘Jinyoung’s not scary! It’s a part of his charm!’ but a whine stopped her from doing so. While they were talking, they have pushed inside the crowd to get in and not be late for class. They reached the front where Jinyoung was standing sternly, his mouth thinned in disapproval. “Bhuwakul. How many times do I have to confiscate that earrings of yours?!”

“Why are you so keen on getting these anyway? Would I do better in my tests if I don’t wear them?” The boy, with his id lace yellow (which means he’s a *freshie), was so close to stomping his feet. But Jinyoung was not fazed and just stared at the boy with a piercing stare. “If you wear them, would you do better? No right? So hand them to me. You violated the school dress code. Come get it at my office after school.” 

The people around them were murmuring, Y/N even caught what the others are saying. They think that Jinyoung was being unreasonable and harsh for no reason. ‘Which isn’t true! He just cares about what the students of this school looks like.'  The sophomore turned to glare at the onlookers that defamed their president. ‘Ungrateful fools.’ But she was startled when the tall boy (oh my he’s tall) beside the one named Bhuwakul spoke innocently. “Let him be, he probably just wants to wear your earrings.” Even Yuna, the student council secretary, was shocked at the carefree manner of his dialogue. The president just raised his right eyebrow, “Kim Yugyeom, button up your uniform and tie your necktie properly.” and reprimanded the other freshie without hesitation. Yugyeom grimaced a bit but did what he was told. ‘You should be the one buttoning your clothes last night President huhu’

Despite the commotion at the front gate (which happens almost everyday as Jinyoung loves to greet the student body with “Rule # 5 under the clause of the dress code law….), Y/N and the students of their campus managed to get to their class safely. When they entered their homeroom, Y/N and Yeji was greeted by Ga Young, another friend of theirs. It seemed that she had only arrived a few minutes before them. “Yo! Entrance was pretty hectic today.” 

Yeji made a face and flipped her brow wavy hair away from her face as if she was hassled on their way over. “Ugh, don’t tell us. We had to push our way out earlier.” They both giggled and chattered mindlessly about the events that morning. 

“Don’t you think the foreigner freshie earlier was kind of cute?” Ga Young said dreamily, looking at the ceiling as if he could see his face there. “Oh, that one with the earrings?”

“Yep. We’re blessed with another foreigner beauty.” That’s true, the videographer thought. He’d look good on camera. 

“Yeon Seo isn’t a foreigner.” Y/N countered, debating that her friend’s crush wasn’t exactly from another country. He grew up in their city just like everyone else is. 

“He’s a half-half though.” 

“The tall freshie had a face too.” 

Yeji and Ga Young started to talk about the new eye candy they found. Those two are fans of idols, especially the amateur ones they have in their school. Y/N absentmindedly listened to the two’s gossip. Sometimes she thinks she’s in a webtoon or something. These kinds of things exist on books and comics even dramas that she consumes. Y/N still can’t believe such things are in her reality. Aren’t groups of popular boys with a cheesy group name only in fiction? She wondered if it’s possible that this is not a real world. 

“But you know, I heard rumors that Bhuwakul's gay.” 

That piqued Y/N's interest. Not that there’s any problem with being gay, the rumor just caught her interest. Not many people are brave enough to admit their sexuality in their community so it was pretty interesting. 

“Eh? Who told you?”

“My freshie cousin told me. He said that he’s close with girls and gives fashion advice. He’s on the softer side as well.”

Huh… Y/N thought it was a baseless rumor after all. “That doesn’t mean he’s gay though.”

“That’s true.”

When the talk about the foreign freshie Bhuwakul ended, the other two started to talk about their favorite topic once again. The Five Roses. Y/N was just done with that subject and had heard enough to last her a lifetime. She couldn’t even understand why the girls in their school seemed to be under their spell. In Y/N’s opinion, they aren’t that good looking. Heck, even Mr. Cold Eyes Jinyoung was much more handsome. ‘Especially if they saw last night’s picture. How come they don’t talk about it?!’ 

“Ji Woo looked handsome today too!” 

‘Oh come on, even Youngjae looks better than that guy.’ At the thought of her bestfriend, she turned to glance at him. He seemed to have caught her and gave him those warm sunny smiles that made her heart beat a bit faster. Even if she doesn’t consider her childhood friend as a man, she’s sure that he’s a good looking guy. 

//next

[perfectionistincrisis]

Day 37 (& 36,35,34,33 ..blabla)

Not much to tell.

It’s just that um. Yeah, things are different. Life is different. I am different.  I am not that familiar with this version of me and don’t know how much I am capable of. But I know that I got a lot weirder. I could hardly care or give a shit about most of the things. Ignorance is my best defense mechanism; I tend to ignore/ keep away things which get to me.  However, everything comes with a price. I get crazy crayyy crayyy zee cravings from time to time. Sometimes it’s food, sometimes it’s shopping. Sometimes it’s taking a perfect picture of food maybe, or of something. Idk. depends on situation os surroundings. Sometimes its looking for the perfect shoe online, and other times the perfect lipstick shade. Or other times its making a list of all the make up products I want to buy. Sometimes im deciding which mall to go to and when. Other times i am thinking which restaurant to go to and when. Sometimes in the most random way possible i start thinking of any specific food and crave it badly and almost feel its taste in my tongue, other times I am making decisions of how I will be eating healthy and making big lifestyle changes.  Sometimes thinking of how little minor details in life, the ways people interact, the comments people make, the way people look at you, the way you respond to someone, the feelings that are being expressed, the feelings that are being suppressed can mould a persons life in such different ways and affect someone so deeply.. thinking of it all draws tears to my eyes.. The world is a harsh place. We might consider ourselves as “human beings”; the civilized creatures but in reality.. I think there is not much difference. We are only a little better than animals who need to be “tamed”. Infact, even harder when we are the ones who need to tame ourselves because everyone is damaged in their own way. No one is perfect, no one was taught how to survive life. Its like you were dumped on earth and you need to figure things out for yourself but hey that’s kind of okay once you know that this is what youre supposed to do. But what about those people who think they are doing right. Who think it is okay to be exactly the way they are now. Hahaha, I guess I sound like I am angry with humans lol. But nah, I dont really care tbh. Now this would be a lie maybe in the past where I would just be “trying” to not care, but now! I actually dont! but that doesnt mean I can totally ignore bullshit happening in this world. but yeah, it doesnt really get to me so much! Anyways, moving on. So yeah! How i survive. Well at times I kind of lose it and get really attached to materialistic/ worldly luxuries! Like i-neeed- to buy this. I -need- to go there. I -need- to eat this. Sometimes it is posting a pic on instagram, where life is so sugarcoated and nice. I have been working on it for a long time. I really have a thing for taking pics of food mostly or other things or myself and when I pick some of them, and put them together and theres a chronological order being maintained to some extent. Just scrolling through it, your life flashes in front of you to an extent. Its nice.  Now one might think that i could do the same scrolling through my gallery too but theres a difference. First, since i am a person who is a sucker for taking pics, my gallery is overloaded! Back in high school, my pictures wouldnt just take up the whole of my gallery but also would fill up my friends’ phones too! they would literally have way more pics of me than their own selves. But the difference is that id chose pics which i would want to upload, which are okay to be shared. Btw its not really like i upload my -best- pics. most of the times it is one of the average ones. As much as i would like sharing ‘dark’ parts of me, I am also not comfortable sharing good ones all the time. well anyways, so yeah thats enough about pics i suppose lol i can go on talking all day wow ‘-’

Okay then there’s me having this strong urge to eat something, or go shopping and buy something and all of that. How i deal with that? well sometimes it really gets on my nerves and that is bad. And then i realize i am diverting my aims in life and yeah that is pretty much it. I just get my mind to think straight and I am fine for some time. it sounds really simple yeah, but its really really bothering when i crave for anything! like it really gets to me to really extreme levels. its all i think of and i cant concentrate or do anything peacefully. but when i get back to my senses, everythings fine again.

This was just one side of things. There is another side to. This one’s easy! I sleep. or just sit and do nothing. When i say nothing i mean it. Its not like i am on my phone and im going through every social media app scrolling on and on and doing nothing. its not like i am sitting on my laptop and doing nothing. It notttttt! When i say doing nothing i mean it. Nothing. I am just sitting with no gadgets, nothing. No i am not even lost in deep thoughts about anything. Like i said, ignorance is my escape. I just dont care enough to get to do something, anything. So i end up sleeping! And except for pee breaks, i can sleep for hours and hours like wow! this was so not me lol! I actually didnt like sleeping so much, well not like i like it now. I mean yeah i do sleep a lot but not because i like it. I am neutral, there is nothing it like about it and i might have hated it earlier but now i dont hate it either. I mean before i used to think there is so much to lose of people keep sleeping all day. Well right now I still have the same idea but i mean at this phase in life right at this moment, for me, there isnt much I am losing while sleeping so its ok. 

So yeah, those are the two extremes i keep shifting between! extreme cravings for the weirdest things followed by letting go of all this materialistic desires/ urges and getting my thoughts clean! Or doing literally nothing, not caring at all, ignoring anything and everything and sleeping! 

Um well thats it. Now before finishing up there are two things I wanted to point out! 

One is that my food cravings dont really have anything to do with the fact that its Ramadan, because I havent fasted a day yet. i mean food was always important to me. It helps me deal with things both mentally and emotionally since always.. Same as spending money on shopping! 

And the other thing I wanted to point out is him.  There is nothing new i can tell about him. just that he is always on my mind. Always. To keep it short, its like the ONLY  thing that has changed is that we dont talk. AND that is a big big big thing. but that is the only thing. That is how i feel! And since it is a big big big big thing (way bigger than all the bigs I put in there) it s not cool! But idk  I just miss telling him how much i love him.. Okay i was never a person who was into ‘telling’ that cause i really really believe that actions speak louder way louder than words when it comes to those 3 words -i-love-you- but yeah! that doesnt mean id be cool if someone would just act it out and not tell me so lol.  And yeah so its the same right now. I mean i really feel like I would never fail in acting out my love for him. I am  just that certain and aware of how much he means to me. So yeah, that is why i said. that i miss telling him so. that i love him.. I miss being able to do so.. Ummm yahhh So that’s it! Pretty long post ik but kinda making up for the extremely tiny mini posts for the last few days but yeah i pretty much covered what is going on with me this whole time so yeah!  :) 

[seriesrants]

PLL 7x11

lmao, strap in and prepare yourself for another 10 episode of PLL before the long awaited finale. 

alright lets gets this shit show started 

Yvonne is revealed to be in a comma (find me someone who cares) 

aria starts to pack her bags and hall ass, conveniently Ezra turns up at the door, says very little words but is like “nay you ain’t leaving yet” 

Hannah pinches Caleb, shes all “is this a dream” and Caleb is like “lets keep fucking??” 

Paige and Emily are now working at the school, as well as Alison. *cue like 10 000 scenes of awkwardness*. surprise! Ali takes a swing at Paige and Paige fights right back. YAY! reminds me of how annoying they were.

Ali is like “i’m having a baby with a stranger” sorry babe. not really tho. 

aria is all “hey, hows Nicole?” pretending to give a fuck and shield her jealousy. and Ezra is all “yeah i tried talking but she ain’t ready” - haha Ezra fuck up about Nicole now, please!

all the liars join together to open this big old box. its an electrified game board with a complimentary iPhone that has a high tech app on it. (who the fuck puts this much effort in. seriously dude. how much time is on your hands?) and A.D is like “lets play a game” and the girls are like “nah, we gonna pass on this one aye” Hannah is all “dude i’’m gonna fucking stab it with my knife” 

Hannah tells aria to quit bitching and plan a damn wedding. Holden pops up, (cause gotta invite all the old cast back for a last hora, right?) and is all “yo as if your marrying your teacher hahah” 

aria gets all stressed cause her and Ezra aren’t talking about the wedding and she cant tell Holden what season she wants the wedding to be during. oh no!

detective fury is all “yo Spencer, Jenna didn’t shoot you someone else did” and Spencer is all “dude wtf! why is everything so damn complicated, just say Jenna fucking shot me!” 

Emily continues to defend Alison even tho Alison is being a total diva and totally pushing Emily away. and Paige is all “i dont need your protection, watch your own back, how bout that?” 

Mona gets Hannah her first client. *claps for Mona for being the only one to get shit done* 

Spencer spills all the beans to her ‘mum’ and sounds hella insane and is all “yo ‘mum’ want some wine cause i’m ready to down this entire thing?” and then shes all “Mary drake is my mum, why didn’t you tell me? like wtf that’s so dog”

Spencers mum chucks a pity party and is all “your dad fucked Mary thinking she was Jessica cause he is a cheating asshole, but i couldn’t let you be adopted out so i got took you 5 minutes fresh from the womb. your welcome” 

Spencer is all “why the fuck are you with dad still? mum grow some fucking balls and dump him wtf” 

Ezra pops up for like 5 seconds to tell aria he is ditching her again for Nicole, and aria has to act like she ain’t gonna burn his shit when she gets home. seriously Ezra. tell us wtf is going on, are you gonna marry aria or not?

Ali takes a couple more swings at Paige and brings up her anger issues in school but then Paige is like “nah bitch, your an asshole”. Ali is all jealous of Paige but still pushes Emily away, and bitch no one is getting anywhere with that attitude.

A.D is all “i’m fucking bored! Spencer play the damn game” and Spencer is all “yolo” downs the glass and is dared to see Toby (how scary!) its just awkward and uncomfortable between them. lmao. 

Spencer proceeds to read her prize from the board game which is basically an apology letter from Mary. bitch your gonna have to come up with a whole lot more to convince me you ain’t a fucking psychopath. PLL as embedded some hard core trust issue in me. 

Emily quickly reminds Ali that her life isn’t the only one that’s fucked up. so quit your wining Ali and fuck Emily. it’ll make everyone happier. 

Hannah is all “wtf Spencer as if you got to play them game first! no fair! i’m gonna break it” but then A.D is all “nah Hannah, look at this video i have of you burying archer, yeah remember that? dont pull any weird shit aye.”

Jenna sips her fucking tea in a weird ass blank room, reads a book in braille and is all “yessssss, slay dude, fucking end game, yessssss, i live for this shit.” Jenna! where the fuck are you bitch, you dont even know!

anyways. this episode was shit - no surprise- and i cant wait for the rest to be over so that i can live my life peacefully. 

^^^ me after this damn episode