#cant believe it isnt online anywhere like get real

[macbethheadband]

My pop culture white whale is the midnight commentary with dt rtd and alice troughton. Anybody got a box set they wanna give me.

[fungalwarp]

this is a mix of an old post that never made it here and some new stuff bc atp this is just kinda funny to me, then imma drop it bc it's also just so boringggg

but im gonna put this here bc ik this loser is still stalking my acct and whatnot, so my final piece or w/e

-"Dont even think abt my sister/talking shit abt my family😡😡" couldnt care less abt ur fuckass sister or family. i cared when they were sticking their noses in shit by sending messages or checking our accounts because?? get a life??? i dont choose to think abt any of u, ever, and would celebrate the day i completely forget abt u

-"YoU wEnT tO mY mOmMy" yeah because we were fed up. because there is a message where you admit you sent at least one thing, along with a vile message from a burner account that mentioned the exact same shit u did in dms, and a whole tumblr with my bf's full name that only families and you knew him by. at least three seperate instances that can be directly tied to you and only you. whether that was you or someone in your system doesnt change that it isnt okay in any degree. it being from a disorder doesnt create a free pass and if you cant keep it in check yourself, someone else needs to be involved. also the screenshot i sent your mother of your dm didnt meantion 'headmates' anywhere, as far as i was ever informed everyone mentioned there was a real person. nothing on there explicity point to DID, i didnt out that

-"he's 27 he should be able to deal with some anon hate" this isnt anon hate. this is repeated harrassment. this is someone implying my mental health is someone's responsibility, and then getting mad when I buy cats that I begged him to let us get and when he's gifted a pc. and i only bring those up bc those are two things you mentioned directly to me along with those being in a vile message from a burner that also implies his father's passing was his fault in any way. that is deranged and subhuman to do and i stand by it. because absolutely nothing justifies a reaction like that. along with an entire tumblr containing his first name and legal last name. something only a small amount of ppl know both of. that account was a recent one too, we have pictures that are time stamped!! so once again, yes, i did send those to ur mother! she should know what vile shit is being sent and that you need serious help

-"Id never go to ur mom!!!" i dont care. if it reached a point of genuine concern when it comes to mental stability, i would hope someone would. ive had people contact my mother over things ive done and i hold 0 resentment bc it helped me in the long run

-"you told someone to kill themselves online😡😡" yeah... i do it a lot... youve heard me do it.... if someone is gonna come into my space and get triggered abt a joke i make w my consenting partner, i will tell them to end it. bc they rlly should. i genuinely believe if ur life is that sad it probably would be better off just ended. what abt it. i dont say it to random ppl for no reason. i say it to people who think i care abt their opinions when it comes to a harmless aspect of my life. oh no, sue me

-"I probably have bpd and i dont run around saying i for sure do" do u have a formal diagnosis for DID? if not then that shouldnt have any standing either. but if we suddenly dont care abt that, yeah i talked to two professionals, both of which agreed i was very likely borderline and one of which is qualified to diagnose but-like my autism-said while i do match criteria it isnt going on my record bc of the walls it can put up in life and they gave me resources before i moved to help w my disorder. and as someone who claims to probably have it, u dont seem to understand how easily it alters ur mood and view on ppl 🤨

-this is a repeated thing and a couple things at once but ur obsession with 'real' names for both humans and animals is just weird and you should probably talk to someone about that. god forbid we have fun with the name we give two cats and ourselves bc we dont live with a stick in our ass? and then ur need to go after his art is wild as if 1) art isnt subjective 2) u have any room to talk abt art skills

[virtualduckbrigade]

i think the thing that gets me the most about stupid ass internet discourse about the moral purity of using the objects that are fictional characters as meabs and modes of sexual pleasure is that the excuses that people who are against it and think thought crimes are a thing are so *fucking ablist about it*. Like let me be clear, a solid 95% of people who are into that kind of shit are trauma survivors/victims. We get into it sexually as a way for our brains to cope with the traumatic events that happened to us. To make things that WERE and ARE *fucking terrifying*, things that keep us up at night in fear, not only palpitable, but pleasurable. AND SINCE ITS ALL FICTIONAL-- no one is actually getting hurt!!!! we can recontextualize our feelings in a way that is safe to LITERALLY everyone! and guess what! as long as you can still enjoy sex without the need to think about your fucked up kink, youre actually fine!! in fact, youre normal and healthy!!

Now, dont get me wrong. I DO think that if you make art about it, it needs to be tagged and posted places where minors cant get at it, because some people do get into certain things because of a minor(as in small and not underage) trauma around having unsupervised internet access too early minor(as in underage and not small), and thats what we're starting to see pop up around now with a lot of folks; but either way, if it is tagged and filterable, YOU, yes you, are the one responsible for curating your internet experience and if you dont know how to, frankly you shouldnt be anywhere outside of a search engine online. digressing from that too, if you filter out the things that you dont want to see and are triggering to you because you healed in a different way, you are 100% valid in doing so, so long as youre not screaming at the people who are healing in other ways that theyre "doing it wrong" because then, really what that says is that youre NOT healed. Because if you were healed, you wouldnt care what other people do if no real living person/animal was getting hurt.

You are not entitled to anyone elses personal information, when you go online. Some people might even be doing things to make it look like whatever is wrong with them ISNT wrong with them. You saying "anyone who does this is a freak and a pervert and a pedo who needs to be shunned from society" isnt helpful. it doesnt stop it. The only thing youve done is assert that "hello. i am an ablist and absolutely NOT a safe space for ANYONE who has any desire to heal from their trauma-related disorder. In fact I hope you die instead. You should be absolutely nothing but ashamed of what happened to you and the well-documented psychological responses it left your developing brain with". Like i get it, its fun to shit on Freud because 95% of the time the things coming out of his mouth were batshit. But Freud Was Right about A Lot Of Things. Specifically about Developmental Trauma and things people find uncontrolably sexually arousing down the road. AND AS LONG AS YOU CAN RECONTEXTUALIZE THAT AROUSAL TO *ONLY FICTION*, YOU ACTUALLY HELP *SOLVE THE PROBLEM*!!

and dont even get me STARTED on people with OCD who LITERALLY cannot move on from fucked up intrusive thoughts after they have them, or after someone makes a comment like, say, this post. All youve done is make them feel horrible too, over things that arent true and arent hurting them. Or the folk who suffer from delusions, who will believe more people are out to get them than the amount they thought prior.

Youre not "proctecting kids" or whatever the fuck, because if you WERE, you'd be lobbying for not only more therapy and better sex ed, but also better control over our collective internet experiences including advertising-free safe spaces for kids, and more massive archives of free well-tagged and correctly-tagged sometimes pornographic art something similar to ao3! but youre NOT. Youre projecting a belief not dissimilar to the religous trauma some people experience growing up that is only going to serve to blow up the issue and get more people to look at more fucked up shit online, earlier.

Youre not "taking a stance and stopping pedos", youre in the denial stage of your own minor(as in small) traumas because theres no safe spaces on the internet anymore since social media and capitalism fucked all of us, and the people with Major traumas dont have anywhere else to recontextualize that shit in a safe way anymore.

[tigerdrop]

hey i just wanna say the long posts genuinely make my day. also can you talk more about gordon freeman character because the way you write him makes me quake in my gay little boots

i would love to talk about gordon freeman. thank u for the opportunity

the first thing i need to communicate about gordon is that this dude sucks. and i say this in the fondest way possible. he is a bitch from the moment he drops into the world until the moment he goes out. if you dont believe me, give it another watch! gordons mouthy and rude for no real reason, at least so far as “being a regular dude on his way into work” goes, and this dude goes around calling his coworkers names with zero provocation. (of course, we all know that the reason is because its a funny guy improv stream that borrows a bit from freemans mind, but im talkin from a character sense.)

but my argument isnt just that gordon freeman sucks. its that he sucks in a very specific way that i find insanely endearing. i love this dude. i love to hate him. hes awful in a very mundane sense - weve all known a guy like this, at least if youve spent too much time online - and its cathartic to watch him suffer because of it.

gordons a smart guy. as written, hes gotta be - hes a recent MIT grad, on his way to work at a top-secret research facility to do weird shit with crystals and theoretical physics. but the thing about smart guys is that theyre often......selectively intelligent. we can see this in the way that he has a hard time navigating his surroundings, and needs the science crew to guide him through it and keep him alive.

this is one of those things that is a natural consequence of somebody going through the game for the first time, but that i am interpreting as “gordon is kind of stupid sometimes”. its uncharitable but its not like he doesnt deserve it. he likes to boss around the crew as if he knows what hes doing, when he often very much does not, and is fond of demeaning their intelligence. hes real bad about this with tommy in particular, treating him like hes a kid whos playing at being a scientist when tommy is actually a decade older than him. all i am saying is that gordon ought to stay humble. hes awful cocky when he perceives himself as better than others.

which, i think, tracks with how cocky he gets when he gives up on the whole “well-meaning citizen” thing and just unloads bullets into people. he puts up a front of being a Nice Guy, you know, just some dude caught in a bad situation who doesnt like seeing his companions obliterate every NPC they come across, but that doesnt stop him from cackling like a fucking madman and mowing down aliens (and soldiers) every once in awhile. when he stops seeing himself as helpless and starts seeing himself as the one in control, the gloves come off. he gets mean. and i think thats very sexy of him

this, among other things, is why i am insistent that gordon freeman is a control freak. he desperately wants to be in control of the situation at all times, shepherding around the science crew primarily by bitching at them, but its of limited success. its futile. sisyphean. tommy, coomer, bubby, and benrey exist almost to torment him with exactly the thing that would make him suffer the most: a gaggle of people running around causing problems for him, but he cant go anywhere without them b/c hes reliant on them to make it out alive.

its perpetual suffering, and its cathartic to watch. and funny, too. and if youre a little weirdo like me, its very, very enjoyable. how twisted up he gets when nobodys listening to him! how sweaty and frazzled he must look. its cute, and it also makes me want to reach through the screen and shake him and tell him to just be a little nicer. he wants control but he doesnt know how to attain it, he doesnt know how to play nice like a real leader. i think its a neat contrast to gordon freeman as we know him in HL2, where he literally is the leader of the resistance and has to live up to it. this is gordon freeman but if he was moe through helplessness.

“helpless” is, i think, a great way to describe him. a core bit of imagery in half life is this sense of railroadedness and helplessness, with gordon freeman being put into play like a chess piece and having no choice but to move forward. and this iteration of gordon leans into that by being totally dependent on the science crew in order to make progress and Not Die. and hes also subject to the whims of benrey, local eldritch weirdo who has basically made it his life mission to fuck with gordon.

gordons anxieties dont help with that. if he wasnt so fun to stress out and fuck with, the science crew probably wouldnt do it so much! too bad for him that they like fucking with him so much that he was driven into a panic attack (multiple times, even, depending on your interpretation). hes got that real neurotic mindset. always worrying about shit that could go wrong, and attempting to exert control over his surroundings in an effort to control the anxiety.

IMO the real way to nail the Neurotic Gordon Freeman Experience is to combine the ever-present anxiety with his pervasive sense of self-loathing. he openly states that he has no friends and nobody seems to like him, and to that, i really gotta say, i wonder why. he doesnt really seem to factor in that hes kind of a bitch, and has way too high an estimation of his own intelligence relative to everybody elses. its really one of the worst ways to be: aware that people dont like you, but unaware of exactly why. if he was like, 10% nicer, he probably wouldnt have had half as many issues getting through black mesa, but also, its funny to see him squawking his way through the game. so, you know.

its stuff like that that makes me headcanon him as a dude with low self-esteem in general. convinced that hes not likable, not attractive, out of his element......impostor syndrome, except that theres some truth to it. this is a guy who truly does not realize how good he has it: he really is just an average shitty dude, and yet, somehow, benrey took a shine to him. some poor motherfucker out there actually likes him and wants to suck his dick. thats dedication

also, i keep bringing up ��repression” when i talk about gordon. and hopefully, what ive been talking about helps explain why. he has a strong desire to be a regular dude, not just murdering his way through black mesa, but if hes pushed hard enough he leans into it. gets bossy. picks up a cigar off a dead soldier and takes a long drag, before smacking forzen around with a pistol and ordering him around. gordon freeman is a regular, kind of anxious guy who likes competitive swimming and streaming on justin.tv and making anime references, and he is also a guy who takes a filthy pleasure in making a trained soldier his bitch. and i didnt make up any of this shit - this is purestrain canon, baby. this is a guy with problems

to me, this screams the kind of guy who represses a lot of shit b/c he doesnt feel like its morally decent. you run into this guy a lot online: the wokeboy, the online leftist, the guy who spends too much time on social media websites. (like reddit. i think he would actively use reddit and he would never get any appreciable amount of karma but he never stops posting. its sisyphean! cathartic.) from the way he talks about “bootboys”, i think it tracks. he knows about imperialism, he knows about feminism, but at the end of the day hes your average american white dude who struggles with internalizing it.

a lot of those dudes struggle with sex and gender issues. (dont we all.) when youre trying to be a Good Person(tm), you spend a lot of time thinking about your own relationship to sex and kink and all that shit. and i maintain that a too-online dude who buries a lot of his control freak tendencies would also try to bury a lot of weird sexual shit in an attempt to seem Normal and Well-Adjusted and not like a little freak. i justify this by the sheer number of times gordon blurts out weird sex shit as a joke. there are only two outcomes to making that many piss jokes: either youre secretly a piss guy, or you lathe-of-heaven yourself into becoming one. i will stand by this

ive talked a lot about why this dude sucks. now, let me talk to you about what makes gordon so much fun to write. first things first: hes funny! a subjective evaluation, yeah, but both in- and out-of-character, hes aiming to be funny. and being the straight man to everybody else plays into that whole “helplessness” thing.

secondly: underneath it all, there is a good dude under there. gordon worries when his companions get hurt, he tries to clean them off and patch them up, and hes got his lil leftist heart in the right place. you could even read a lot of his bossy, bitchy demeanor as him wanting to make sure everyone gets out okay and doesnt hurt themselves. when it comes to animals and anti-imperialist sentiment, gordons a pretty good guy.

hes the kind of guy who would probably see a dog on the street and get excited and play with it, but would get really prickly about the correct way to put dishes in the dishwasher. control freak tendencies.

finally, subjecting such a miserable, tormented guy to even more psychological anguish is really, really fun. you feel a little bad for him, but he kind of deserves it. so many problems he goes through are purely of his own making, and if gordon would just relax and quit trying to hard to maintain control - of himself, of the people around him - and own up to having Problems and Issues, he would be a happier guy. but thats why its fun to bend him until he breaks. being a little control freak myself, putting gordon freeman thru psychosexual torment is cathartic.

when it comes to writing his thought processes, the fact that he is canonically some kind of psychotic (yes, i am boldly claiming this. suck me) and i am also canonically some kind of psychotic makes it easier to write what i think his thought processes are. i just give him my brain issues of “getting lost in thought” and “overthinking fucking everything”. a touch of paranoia helps. even if i dont explicitly label him as schizophrenic please know that i am writing him as a paranoid little nutcase at all times because, uh, you write what you know.

paranoid. anxious. of the mindset that everyones out to get him (which isnt helpful when everyone is out to get him). repressed and deeply Not Normal but trying so very fucking hard to be normal and well-adjusted. a control freak with sadistic tendencies who also really, really likes getting bullied by his best frenemy. a hapless little nerd who sounds really cute when his voice starts to break from nerves. and, most importantly, a dumb jock. do not ever forget this.

thats gordon freeman, babey. hope that helps

[felidaeng]

@tikki-tok this is under readmore because i dont want any of my followers taking this as a cue to be rude or anything? but i.. okay, i dont like to talk about the specifics of my sexuality bc im still unclear of my orientation, and i dont think i ever will go back to labels as they feel constricting and cant cement my personal identity, so i dont feel comfortable putting it anywhere on my blog, but i am by all means asexual. i get the “feeling broken or wrong”, not just for not having sexual feelings but also for struggling with not knowing whether i was experiencing romantic or platonic feelings towards others. i get it!!

the uncertainty on the matter comes from the fact that someone automatically being deemed lgbt for being ace, even if they are cisgender and heteromantic, doesnt make much logical sense, but JUST AS MUCH, if someone is aro/ace, they arent straight, are they? thats where i struggle, and thats why i dont have a true opinion. i read through thoughts from both sides, educate myself through them, and become more aware of the points being made. i used to actually be a staunch exclusionist back in high school, but then i realized i wasnt getting the whole picture. 

so, here i am. believing that ace people getting actively kicked out of lgbt spaces is of course not okay, but also thinking that someone whose only connection to the lgbt community is being asexual will never be able to understand what lgbt really go through. does this mean i think they should be removed? no, of course not, but you have to understand that just because you do not experience sexual attraction does not mean you can equate yourself to a gay or trans person. oppression isnt the only thing that defines lgbt, but it does play a major role in every lgbt persons life. i was once in a lesbian (at the time, because this was before i realized i was trans and then society viewed me as a woman) relationship. and frankly, i was never once treated poorly for being asexual, while on the other hand, i lived in legitimate fear of my relationship being discovered, and was almost outed multiple times with the chance of it coming back to my bigoted and abusive family. not to say that asexuals arent targeted or put down by others at any point, but you gotta understand that most of it is online. if you go to any sort of physical lgbt space, more often than not they’ll be supportive of including asexuality. meanwhile, oppression is a very real thing that lgbt people face every day without fail, directly or indirectly. comparing bigotry against ace people to bigotry against trans or bi, etc, people cant be done, theyre entirely different ballparks!!

as for the reblogging from exclusionists... i didnt check any of them to see what their stances on the ace discourse was bc i only reblogged for information regarding the ace flag, some of them straight up being from googling for more sources. turning the conversation to exclusion or inclusion at that point would be derailing from the hypocrisy and lesbophobia that google displayed, and it really is not the time nor place to be discussing this. again, i say this as someone who is asexual.

sorry if this isnt as coherent as id like it to be, and i wont ask you to unblock me, but i just wanted to let you know my viewpoint.

[whiteanti]

sry if that's gonna turn out long but i really want your onion on it. in relations to that anon who asked you abt white passing people - what do you think about "west asians" loool. like caucasians, not white europeans but people from the caucasus like armenians georgians azeris etc. personally i could never consider them poc lmao first of all demographic region such as west asia doesnt exist, most countries from that region are middle eastern and the ones who are not are BETWEEN europe and asia

and not to bring that up but armenians have been legally classified as white like 100 years ago, ntm how they never looked racialized in the first place its just that white americans considered anything that’s not white american as impure. like even white southern and eastern europeans. and cool you could say they’re white passing poc but there are not Any specific racialized features that make you go oh thats a poc.. its not fucking 2012 anymore we cant still push that race is social bullshit

(i think tumblr ate the 3rd or 2nd ask so im rewriting it) even if it was its still made to not only benefit them but put them on top. with tht circassian beauty shit that was spread among both europe and the global south w circassian women and their “big beautiful hair” as the beauty standard while black women were and still to this day are abused degraded etc for their hair then you have white ass circassians and other caucasians using as an argument about not being white that white russians call thm bl*ckies or the white version of the n word lmaooo can you believe… and like ok your ppl faced genocide and ethnic cleansing from white russians but how does that contribute to you being racialized ESP in the modern day world. 

not only that but so many of them have pale skin, blue eyes, blonde hair like straight up cracker and they still insist on being poc just cuz they’re not Straight from mother europe. its just a caucasian online thing to claim the racialized experience for white ppl jokes access and extra oppression points. 

if you ask the average middle aged lets say armenian person what race they are they’re gonna tell you white. and with the amount of anti asian sentiment in their communities how tf do they expect to be accepted as asian like they’re truly playing with us. 

also wht bugs me is how they cant tell the difference btwn racism and xenophobia/ethnophobia sjhgahsj how do you insist on facing racism without being racialized? they face as much discrimination in white countries as any average white foreigner would but go explain that shit to them that if you’re not racialized you cant use the terms racism and xenophobia interchargeably. 

to me the only asians are east, southeast, south, central and north, also anything mixed inbetween. all these crackers lite from the caucasus mountains can go fuck themselves and shove their forced victimization up their asses cuz at this point i’m so tired of their white asses trying to prove me they’re on the same level as us whn it comes to discrimination. 

like yes s and se asians are way more discriminated than the rest of us but we (east central north) do face racial discrimination unlike caucasians lmao. and sure they face intergenerational trauma from the genocides of their countries but so do we, in way bigger amounts. thats why im so sceptical abt terms like visible poc cuz you either are a poc or not… they have so many tactics as a gotcha to racialized asians to make us seem as if we’re bigots who invalidate their genocides and talk so aimlessly abt it when all we want is for them to acknowledge their whiteness, white privilege, white guilt and self victimization against us. but anyways im so sry for making it this long but i needed to get if off my chest and you’re like the only person i know who can understand it and give a well thought out opinion. i rlly wish you all the best and good luck on all your exams 💓💓💓

btw for the previous asks i only said “mixed inbetween” bc i talked about monoracial asians specifically not that someone isnt asian if they’re mixed w black or anything else, also idk much abt indigenous ppl from oceania or how they identify so that’s why i left it out

ok so I reformatted some of the asks to make them easier to read (as in I changed where paragraph breaks were bc wow there r so many) but my answer is below the cut! 

[EDIT] since a few ppl r asking me abt this no I don't fully agree w this anon. I don't think arabs are white. I don't think Iranians are white. I don’t know if Armenians or other ethnicities from the Caucasus region are white I think thats an ongoing discussion w in their communities, but as far as I knew I thought people saw Armenians as white. again I could be wrong but that is what I think the general consensus is. if you want to have in in-depth discussion abt this topic pls ask someone from within those communities or at the very least has researched it in-depth.

ok so just from what I know a lot of ppl from the caucus region classified themselves as white during segregation, etc in order to escape racial discrimination. Armenians as far as ik r generally classified as white? the Kardashians are Armenian and I don’t think anyone has ever said they’re poc. geographically Armenia is in west Asia so technically they’re asian but does that mean they’re poc? but if u say Armenians r white then r arabs white? Armenians do face discrimination and they have faced a genocide which is denied by the Turkish govt. but most ashkenazi jewish ppl r also white so….. idk.

as for in Europe they would definitely be seen as poc or at the very least not white. basically anywhere east of turkey (ofc excluding Russia) is seen as Big Scary Middle East full of ppl who want to invade Europe. but again in America I’m not too sure bc race relations r definitely different there.

I think its a rlly complex question w a complex answer and tbh I don’t know enough abt any of this to b able to give a cohesive opinion. what I will say is that I think this is a different discussion completely from whether mixed white poc r poc or not. this is a discussion is to whether a whole ethnicities of ppl who look ‘white’ are poc or not. its complicated bc race isn't ‘real’ as in theres not way to divide humans into 5 groups. ppl like from the caucasus region don’t fit neatly into white or asian and if u look historically the region is closely tied w Greece, Iran and the Mughals in India so again… theres no definite answer. but as far as ik they definitely have a large degree of white passing privilege but I would still say to a lesser extent than full white europeans. they’re also mostly racialised in europe or at least demonised to a certain extent. more than Eastern Europeans and less than poc but like idk lol. I hope this is an ok answer bc to b honest my brain is so fried rn

[forxignweirdo]

Another askk

@extantem :))

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?- Soundcloud/Itunes 

is your room messy or clean?-Very messy

what color are your eyes?-Brown

do you like your name? why?-It’s alright but noone can pronounce it

what is your relationship status?-Singular 

describe your personality in 3 words or less-Tired, observer, funny

what colour hair do you have?-Brown

what kind of car do you drive? colour?-Havent even started driving lessons too lazy

where do you shop?-Online

how would you describe your style?-Whatever i find that’s clean imma wear

favourite social media account-Twitter (@miss_nyams) :)

what size bed do you have?-Singular bunk

any siblings?- 4 brothers

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?-Honestly the countryside

favourite snapchat filter?-I have none

favourite makeup brand(s)-Not a makeup person

how many times a week do you shower?-It’s everyday bro (sorry)

favourite tv show?-Game of Thrones

shoe size?-UK5

how tall are you?-Not 

sandals or sneakers?-Trainers

do you go to the gym?-Ew

describe your dream date- June 19th when my exams are over

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?-I don’t carry cash it’s all about apple pay

what color socks are you wearing?-Wearing tights

how many pillows do you sleep with?-4

do you have a job? what do you do?-I do, kids soft play centre

how many friends do you have?-Close friends like 5

whats the worst thing you have ever done?-Mind your own

whats your favourite candle scent?-Anything that’s from Jo Malone

3 favourite boy names-Idk

3 favorite girl names-i had one cant use it anymore but Letita and Anastasia 

favorite actor?- Benny Cumberbatch

favorite actress?- Lupita Ny

who is your celebrity crush?- Thick daddy Winston Duke

favorite movie?-Idk Kill Bill?

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?-Cant choose, wont choose

money or brains?-Brains could easily make money

do you nicknames? what is it?- Chels (friends), Ropa(siblings), Korinde(parents)

how many times have you been to the hospital?- Like once

top 10 favorite songs- Fluorescent adolescent, Mardy bum, mad over you mashup, The kill(bury me), same girl, bambi, save me, Did you see, Holy grail, house of cards (these change regularly so idk)

do you take any medications daily?-Iron tablets but that isnt med

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)-Dry and sensitive

what is your biggest fear?-Snakes

how many kids do you want?-depends on whats happening in my life 

whats your go to hair style?-Out of the way

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)-Semi detached smol

who is your role model?-Michelle Obama (GET YOUR DEGREES SIS)

what was the last compliment you received?-’You have an incredible body’

what was the last text you sent?-’I’ll get over it in due time’

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?- never believed in the thing

what is your dream car?-Gwagon or a spaceship x

opinion on smoking?-Issa no from me dawg

do you go to college?-No

what is your dream job?- disaster relief aid worker/diplomat/actor??

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?-Rural

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?-nope not for my hair type 

do you have freckles?-no

do you smile for pictures?-yerp

how many pictures do you have on your phone?-500+

have you ever peed in the woods?-Yep

do you still watch cartoons?-We call it anime around here 

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?-Neither i only like chicken dippers

Favorite dipping sauce?-BBQ

what do you wear to bed?-Oversized Tshirt

have you ever won a spelling bee?- A what? 

what are your hobbies?-Sleeping, crying...?

can you draw?-Not well

do you play an instrument?- i could play the piano and the recorder but das it.. is the voice an instrument?

what was the last concert you saw?-I dunno

tea or coffee?-Tea

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?-Dunkin Donuts

do you want to get married?-Not really

what is your crush’s first and last initial?-Dont get crushes

are you going to change your last name when you get married?-If i want to

what color looks best on you?-Yella

do you miss anyone right now?-Yes

do you sleep with your door open or closed?-Closed wtf

do you believe in ghosts?-Hell yeah there is one in my room

what is your biggest pet peeve?-Loud chewers

last person you called`-Kels

favorite ice cream flavor?-Peanut butter

regular oreos or golden oreos?-Golden oreos are literally custard creams

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?-hundreds and thousands

what shirt are you wearing?-wearing a bodycon black dress

what is your phone background?-Barack Obama

are you outgoing or shy?-Outgoing

do you like it when people play with your hair?-No

do you like your neighbors?-Yes/no

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?-Just wash your face

have you ever been high?-uhmmm

have you ever been drunk?-yes

last thing you ate?-cereal 

favorite lyrics right now- YOU GOTTA BE NICE FOR WHAT TO THESE NI**AS

summer or winter?-Spring

day or night?-Night

dark, milk, or white chocolate?-White chocolate

favorite month?-July

what is your zodiac sign-Taurus

who was the last person you cried in front of?-One of my drama teachers

[tmntl0verthings]

Textual Contact

Ch.8 x  Eh

L: hey

3 min later

Y: hey whats up

L: nm. Just working out. Getting buff. The usual.

Y: lol are u making up for something too 😏😏

L: shaddup😒

Y: lol so whats ur plans for today?

L: relaxation. Specially since its Sunday funday.

Y: F is for uuu and meeee. U is for....idk. N id for anywhere and anytime down here in the dee blue seaaa

L: lol wow. Spongebob fan much?

Y: lol nah but i am upset they discontinued it

L: really? I thought that was a false rumour!

Y: nah bruh

L: huh mikey isnt going to like that.

Y: lol so what Are you doing?

L: chillin.

Y: chillin like a Mofo. I see.. hey so for christmas. I wanna give u and ur family gifts. But what are ur suggestions?

L: okay first suggestion.. don't get gifts for us.

Y: what u dont celebrate Christmas either?

L: either?

Y: halloween. Remember? Duuhhhh

L: oh~ yes. That. 😒

Y: leonardo. Whats really going on. Please open up to me. I feel so left out. Like third wheel on a date.

L: i wanna tell you. But i cant. My dad strictly forbids it.

Y: why though? What religion is he anyway.

L: we..dont have a religion. More of a martial code.

Y: ... Idk what else to do. I feel like this is gonna be one of those relationships online with a friend and then one day...there not there anymore cause they choose not to be. Is this whats gonna happen to us?? 🙁😢

L: no of course not. I really want to meet you in real life. I just...cant.. im sorry.

Y: what about April. Has she met u?

L: no..

Y: its just weird. I feel like i miss you.  But i havent even met u. Idk..its weird.

Y: maybe its a girl thing. We are such emotional teddy bears.

L: hah XD I wouldn't know.

L: hey i gotta go. Training. Ttyl

Y: by boo

L: boo?

Y: u dont like?  I could call u leo beo again XD

L: lol boo is fine.

  You went for a walk to clear ur head. Ur period did just start yesterday. Stupid thing. Sometimes u wished mother nature would call u and say 'your good, girl. No pregnancy here.' you exhailed as your breath froze in the nightly air. You then saw these men running. I believe they call it parkour. It was so fascinating. You saw them jump down into an alley. "why an alley of all places?" U thought. But they might have a backdoor to their home in an alley. You walked along your way, but just being curious you went down the way the men did. You felt a cramp kick you in the side and middle. You flinched cradled your intestinal area. You then felt relief and continued your way. You saw they were gone. You huffed and realize you have been seeing things come and then disappear. Is this coincidence? Like for real?? You were getting a bit agitated though also..ur period could be mistaking confusion with annoyance. Or maybe u r annoyed. You leaned your back against the wall as you slid to the ground. No one was around. Surprisingly. Everyone is usually hustling and bustling. You were feeling tired as you then stood back up to go home. You got a text.

L: hey

Y: hey what's up

L: finished training.

Y: well thats good

L: i suppose. Wbu.

Y: walking home. Im tired..

L: its 11:45 pm. Why r u out??

Y: felt like it

L: its dangerous

Y: mehhh. I told u i was on my wanm.mmmmsnssii88993+__?:?!'))

Was going to be ur reply but u never did.

Leo assumed you forgot to text back and got home.

DUN DUN Duuunnnn💙💙💙💙💙

Your face was being covered by a bag of some sorts. A tight one at that. It was hard to breath in. U tried drawing air into ur mouth through the threads of fabric. "You got the wrong girl! Idiots!" You then heard a crash of glass from above. You felt some shards. Their cold tiny pieces instead a pain. You heard men yelling and an older man yell. You were picked up and you felt like this man was climbing something. A rope or a ladder. You were to scared to fight back. You couldn't tell anything apart from good or bad given the situation. And you were deathly afraid of heights.  "Who are you?" You asked but was never given an answer.

The bag was still on your head as you heard men talking. It had to be men. Only one of them sounded like a teenager. "what do we do fearless? We cant exactly show ourselves to her." "And what if she did. No one would believe her!" A gruff voice barked. "Raph! I said no!" 'raph?' you thought. 'no. It couldnt be. Could it?' you pulled your wrists apart to see how tight the rope was. It was pretty tight but tried to squeeze your one hand Through your the tight hole. Your wrist being scratched and dry rubbed by the sharp rope and splinters. Your teeth cringed. "Dudes! Now isnt the time for fighting. We literally just got out of the hashi because you two faught. Please." Mikey pleaded. "mikeys right." Leo admitted. "what do we do now? We cant hit her over the head and drop her off in an alley somewhere." Don said.  "Oooor can wweeeee?" Raph stated. "raph no." You got your hand free and then took off the bag. Your eyes widened to see these...creatures talk amongst themselves to not even notice your looking at them. "imma hit her." Raph pulled out his sai. Mikey jumped onto his back holding on by the neck. "MIKEY GET OFF!!" "NEV'A!" Leo laughed as don was fooling with his watch as it released a hologram and turned around to see you through the hologram. He minimized it "guys. We got a-um problem i guess." They all froze as they looked at you. You sat there staring not sure what to think, do or say.

To be continued...

[6-v-6]

1-100. Just give it to me all

ALNLSNGLSG ARE YOU SERIOUS OMFG im so sorry this is going to be Long

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? I’ll say Pandora just because it’s the only one I’ve actually ever used. If I used Spotify I’d probably like it the most but I don’t use those apps so

2. is your room messy or clean?VERY VERY MESSY I need to clean it but im lazy

3. what color are your eyes?Brown!

4. do you like your name? why?My birth name? No. And that’s why I changed it ahahahaha yes I like the name Jae since i chose it myself. It’s short and simple

5. what is your relationship status?Single 

6. describe your personality in 3 words or lessContradictory ....... Situational 

7. what color hair do you have?Currently it’s blue c: Natural color is a lightish brown

8. what kind of car do you drive? color?I don’t have a car nor a license :/ I want a motorbike tho ! a black one

9. where do you shop?I shop pretty much exclusively online. Buyma or Amazon, typically

10. how would you describe your style?I’ve been told that I dress like a “bad boy”. I like leather and black and ripped skinny jeans but I do like casual stuff too. Like hoodies and sweats

11. favorite social media accountIf this is talking about my own social media accounts, then this one right here on tumblr. I’m not very active anywhere else

12. what size bed do you have?uuuuhhhh I don’t know proper terminology but it is small

13. any siblings?Yup! I have an older sister and a younger brother

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?Japan probably? It’s super pretty and I’ve always wanted to visit

15. favorite snapchat filter?hmm I don’t use snapchat that much but probably the flower crown one it’s cute

16. favorite makeup brand(s)I don’t wear makeup tbh so i dunnooooo 

17. how many times a week do you shower?7 I don’t ever skip showering 

18. favorite tv show?Psych? I also like the 100 currently

19. shoe size?asglnasg... god .... im a 6 in mens nd like a 7 in womens i have small feet

20. how tall are you?ALNSLGNSG im trusting no one has read this far so it’s okay to disclose this info...exposin myself.. im 5′2″ ............

21. sandals or sneakers?Sneakers !! I don’t wear sandals like ever

22. do you go to the gym?Yes! Only recently, actually! I just bought a gym membership with my friend and we’ve been going 3 times a week c:

23. describe your dream dateoh geez I havent really thought about this? I’m not very romantic or anything (im on the ace spectrum) but... i dunno. I think it’d be nice to just have fun together. An amusement park maybe? And just a lot of hand holding and smiles

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?Upwards of 100 bcuz my mom keeps giving me money even tho i dont use it

25. what color socks are you wearing?HAH im not wearing any 

26. how many pillows do you sleep with?1-2 it depends on the night

27. do you have a job? what do you do?I work at the cafeteria in my school. I run the register and help to stock items and also serve food to people

28. how many friends do you have?wow this is a Tragic question. Online I have quite a few! In person i literally have....... 2. Barely that lol. More like one

29. whats the worst thing you have ever done?Killed my sister’s fish (on accident)

30. whats your favorite candle scent?I’ve never thought about this or really smelled many candles to begin with :( something mild though. Maybe a mild vanilla??

31. 3 favorite boy namesuuhghg 1) Cain 2) Luka 3) Eden

32. 3 favorite girl names1) Erin 2) Rayna 3) Kira

33. favorite actor?I rly dont give a crap about actors if I’m being honest lmao. Uhh choi minho :)

34. favorite actress?Lupita Nyong’o?? she’s gorgeous

35. who is your celebrity crush?I don’t have a crush on him but does Lee Taemin count

36. favorite movie?Princess Mononoke

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?I read ff more than books these days. I don’t have a fav book

38. money or brains?is this what I prefer? Money binch if I had money I wouldn’t need brains also I’m dumb anyways 

39. do you have a nickname? what is it?No I do not

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?Twice? Maybe 3 times

41. top 10 favorite songscheck out shinee’s entire discography 

42. do you take any medications daily?Nope

43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)i ?? have no idea?? I guess oily? My skin doesn’t get dry so

44. what is your biggest fear?Probably flying. I hate planes

45. how many kids do you want?Exactly none

46. whats your go to hair style?? uh side-swept? I have no idea what to call it just what my hair normally looks like I guess

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)A moderately sized house

48. who is your role model?Not to be cheesy but Lee Taemin also Kim Kibum also Choi Minho also Kim Jonghyun also Lee Jinki

49. what was the last compliment you received?that I’m great? lol

50. what was the last text you sent?’okay’ to my mom lmao

51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?ARE YOU TELLING ME SANTA ISNT REAL??? okay but for real who remembers the age they find out omg .. i was Young so idk maybe like 13

52. what is your dream car?ohhh boy a lambo for sure

53. opinion on smoking?Gross. Smells terrible

54. do you go to college?I do indeed. I’m gonna be a senior ya’ll

55. what is your dream job?To be a writer I guess. I don’t really have a dream job

56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?Suburbs? I dunno. I like living in the city I’d probably die of boredom in some rural area

57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?hell yea binch

58. do you have freckles?nope!

59. do you smile for pictures?Not for selfies but for other pictures yes I feel like it’s weird or rude not to

60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?like 300 something

61. have you ever peed in the woods?what the fuck?? lol?? no??

62. do you still watch cartoons?does voltron count :/

63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?neither if I’m being honest but Wendy’s I guess. I never ever eat at mcdonalds

64. Favorite dipping sauce?barbeque sauce?

65. what do you wear to bed?An oversized shirt and boxers lol

66. have you ever won a spelling bee?no i cant say I have

67. what are your hobbies?Writing, sometimes. Playing video games. Bein unhealthy

68. can you draw?Naaaah

69. do you play an instrument?No :( I wish I did but I never learned any

70. what was the last concert you saw?SHINEE WORLD V IN LA!!!!!!!!! BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!

71. tea or coffee?Coffee bcuz i h8 tea

72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?Well the coffee at dunkin donuts is worlds better so dunkin donuts

73. do you want to get married?no

74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?i dont have a crush

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?’when’ lol i dont plan to get married

76. what color looks best on you?black, in my opinion

77. do you miss anyone right now?no not really

78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?open because if it’s closed my cat will scratch on it incessantly until she’s let in

79. do you believe in ghosts?hell yeah dude

80. what is your biggest pet peeve?when people like, dance around a subject. I prefer it when people are straightforward. Especially if they want something from me

81. last person you called`Honest to god I can’t remember. I don’t ever call people lmao so probably my mom

82. favorite ice cream flavor?I like Rocky Road a lot!

83. regular oreos or golden oreos?regular. Golden oreos are a lesser creation

84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?RAINBOW. GIMME DAT GAY SHIT

85. what shirt are you wearing?It’s just a plain white t-shirt

86. what is your phone background?ot5

87. are you outgoing or shy?Horribly, annoyingly shy although I can mask it pretty well

88. do you like it when people play with your hair?yes :D

89. do you like your neighbors?lmao I don’t know them?? They arent noisy though so yes I like them since they aren’t annoying or anything

90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?Both. I take a shower in the morning and wash it then. And then do a skincare routine at night

91. have you ever been high?no.... not that I know of. One time I took nyquil though and it Fucked Me Up i felt high but idk if I was or if that’s even possible

92. have you ever been drunk?nope. I’m not a huge fan of the idea of getting drunk. I don’t like letting my guard down like that so if I ever do it’ll be when I’m alone

93. last thing you ate?a mento 

94. favorite lyrics right nowthe entire lyrics to So Far Away by yoongi

95. summer or winter?WINTER. I hate summer fashion i like being able to wear my jackets and jeans and not Die of heat stroke

96. day or night?night I guess just bcuz I can be alone

97. dark, milk, or white chocolate?dark chocolate is superior in every way

98. favorite month?uhm.. December? Because its the end of the year and I’m on break then and Christmas and cold weather and hot chocolate

99. what is your zodiac signI’m a virgo 

100. who was the last person you cried in front of?uhhhHHHH I really make it a Goal to never cry in front of people since im just super uncomfortable with that and honestly dont feel comfortable enough around anyone to do that. My sister walked in on me when I was crying once though so her I guess

[issayemme]

about this generation being over sensitive

aight, i dont really just voice my opinion anytime i feel like it but honestly i’m fed up. I used to like, be one of those SJW’s and go like hey this is wrong and this is wrong and this is wrong. Most of them were wrong tbh, and i totally get the thing about “normalizing”. We shouldnt normalize hate, we shouldnt normalize discrimination and we shouldnt normalize anything negative, ever.

But i feel like, after a couple of years being exposed to nothing but negativity i’m finally #sick and #tired of it. I understand it by the way, why we have to call something out if it’s wrong cause this is how we fix things but i feel like recently the world is becoming a little bit too sensitive.

I realized this with the whole controversy about Pewdiepie and Gigi Hadid and everything. Especially Pewdiepie. 

Like i dont even live in the US, not from there. I’m from Turkey, i’m studying advertising. And i wanna pursue my career in digital marketing so this whole thing is gonna be my field. This whole shitstorm is gonna be my audience and i’ll try to engage with you. Which frustrates me the most, cause i have to deal with this bullshit.

To start off, i know Pewdiepie did something not-so-okay. I did watch his channel every now and then and i remember telling my boyfriend, “eh, he’s doing whatever he wants lately. I’m not that into it anymore, he used the N word and stuff.” and i just stopped watching his videos and thats like a buck less for him. I did my part. I’m not gonna like go online and bash him or anything cause like fine okay he used the n word but the world has some bigger problems right now like the bees are going extinct. For those who dont know he made like.. there’s this site called Fiverr, you pay them 5 bucks and they do something for ya like this girl does your homework and whatever. Felix payed 2 guys (dont know their nationality) to write “Death to all jews, subscribe to markiplier” on a piece of paper and they did, later he commented on how people do whatever you want them to as long as youre paying them. Which is a good point in my opinion. And the whole point of this shitstorm also. 

And Wall Street Journal went up to Disney and they like.. snitched. like 5 year olds. i cant this is just too funny. And they took everything out of context, used a random image of him raising his hand and portrayed it as a nazi salute (If ya gonna go there you can find like even jews doing a nazi salute. HELLO COMMON SENSE?) Anyhow, Disney was like yah this is gonna hurt my image as butterflies and rainbows, occasional unicorns and shitty costume designing so cut ties with him or whatever. But there is like 2 sides to every story so i wish they would take a milisecond and contact Felix but fuck that am i right Disney which is the company that displayed Donald Duck in a Nazi outfit so like whats up

And then, this afternoon i spent my entire time reading articles about how Pewdiepie is the source of all evil, how he is summoning satan with a single look and how he is destroying worlds.  He always said mainstream media is hating on him but i’ve never realized it was this big of an issue. Jesus they were like vultures. The verge even went as far as comparing him to Donald Trump. Like.. Pewdiepie does a 24 hour live stream to raise like what.. over a milion dollars for charity and its like dead quiet but Wall Street Journal runs out of money so they go like “oh pewdiepie draws money lol ok.. guys here’s the thing.” Is every news outlet TMZ now? is this it

And i knew tumblr of course would be on fire. I’m actually glad to see some reasonable people defending pewdiepie because that’s what’s right. Some girl here is like “um im jewish and OUT OF ALL WORDS why would you pick death to all jews? like it has been said before. ermigird get my trigger gloves.” Like hello everyone knows it’s not an okay thing to say, that’s why he used it. To prove a point. It’s kinda amazing to see how people are hovering 100 miles over the point. good job keep it up everyone it’ll get you places in life

The truth is, this kind of all comes back to my major. Newspapers are dying, because noone buys them anymore. They need money to survive as we all do, but we are all on digital surfaces now. But we dont pay for news anymore. so the news outlets are doing everything they can to survive and it gets petty like you’ve been seeing these days. Clickbait is a real thing cause it’s not enough if you see their post on Facebook, they need you to go on their website, see the ads so they can get the ad revenue. It keeps the advertisers, advertising and the platforms alive. Scandal always gets you paid. What i’m sad about is as a generation we’re paying these guys. They dont care really, if pewdiepie is racist or not. Which he isnt by the way. Pewdiepie and his growth is so organic. He’s a goldmine for brands. Verge cant supply content like that, so they kind of shit on whoever does. I’m saying verge but like mashable, the wired.. verge is the pettiest tho. Business insider was kind of more toned down so kudos to them I GUESS.. 

My point being.. like they see we go crazy about social justice and they see the tiniest thing and they make a big deal out of it. We as a generation shouldnt be these idiot’s income. I refuse to be the reason to put money on some 40 year old idiot who has no sign of a backbone. There are things that matter. I’m sick of getting butthurt by everything. Yes some feminists are extreme. Denying it will not get you anywhere. We all believe in equality. If you are calling out Pewdiepie, which again i agree he fucked up but it wasnt like a total fuck up you know. So context matters. Just because something happened, doesnt mean we have to make a big deal out of it every time. Wrongdoing should be punished but not to extremes. Dont get offended on behalf of other people. I live in a Muslim country. And dont you dare get offended on my behalf when Trump says something about our religion. Let me speak first. Let me read the context first. Everyone is constantly in panic to defend someone, they just miss a lot of things. So just take time to evaluate before speaking your mind.  About Gigi’s face too.. Like gosh she wasnt trying to actually hurt someone. People are still trying to call Karlie Kloss out after she acknowledged and apologized  LIKE WHAT DO YOU WANT DID YOUR PARENTS NOT LOVE YOU? DO YOU HAVE A LOT OF FREE TIME? PLEASE JUST GET A LIFE. PET A DOG. We should stop bashing people after they acknowledge something was wrong. Like. Chill, seriously. go suck a dick get a life ffs

JERK OFF IDK WHAT RELAXES YOU

dont let people take advantage of you trying to do something right 

[vaguelycloseted]

TW:mentions of suicide and related topics

today was good. i finally got around to actively drawing. just a bunch of a random basic emoticon style faces. i cant draw anything beyond that, but it felt nice expressing emotion. the boy im talking to went to sleep at 7 am, i tried to stay up to continue talking to him but i crashed around 5 am. not too much development at least we are flirting, so yay! its really weird life in general now, nothing is going back to the same. other than that things feel brightly dark. blah blah blah... im being melodramatic. i started to listen to music like actually again. actively listening allowing myself to focus down to just the music. thats my form of meditation. i actually decided to eat today, i had three large bowls of honey bunches of oats, a sandwich and two yogurts. i forgot to mention earlier that he keeps leaving me on read. so thats pretty sad i guess. i have never really been in a situation like these before where i want to just be the beauty in someones eye. it feels weird, like proper body reactions with hormones and butterflies in my stomach. i never realized how much being left on read hurt ig, im bout to cry. i sound insane, i just feel happy and i dont want to lose that. i understand that im talking into the void but id rather post this online where some interaction might happen. im mostly just ranting and trying to get everything out of my clogged brain. i have become the epitome of listening to sad shit when sad, i used to blast psychedelic rock and cry. now its sad shit under my blanket crying. im ngl as i write this im looking in at myself and wondering why i thought i could get anywhere with him. i was just being a stupid optimist. this might all go back to my first attempt when i was like 9, its 8 years later and since then i tried 3 more times. THIS HAPPINESS HURTS. ive been chronically depressed for years. as i kid i only ever had one aspiration be darth vader. yeah that was what i wanted to be as a kid. then after one day i was told that was stupid i just kinda shut that down. i never fully realized after that what i wanted to do. it changed year after year and ive finally found it. fashion school, i keep getting lured back to the fun that is art ya know. but something would always deject me away from it. then i discovered another form my freshman year, that being woodworking. especially after my art teacher pulled a half finished piece off the rack and off a board and said this isnt real art. that fucked me up but the one thing i could count on was when i would finish a project in woodshop and be told good job, and great work. validation, the thing i always strived for. my woodshop teacher is a great man who saw potential and helped with expressing that potential. another great teacher i had was my poli sci teacher and model un advisor. he stopped me once from offing myself. he gave me hope that i could get somewhere, he believed in the fuck up. somehow failing his way up, he also saw potential and he helped me express it as well. this sounds weird but what im trying to say is that two of my greatest inspirations gave me validation for work that i tried my best on that wasnt thag great but it was what worked. you never realize how much you hate yourself until you grade yourself in one class over 4 years. i reached the point where i notice how well my work has improved and my attitude towards myself has. im still depressed but i hate myself less, i no longer hate my body as much as i did, thats really it. i still look like a rectangle with long ass limbs but thats fine with me. im fine with who am i mostly. at this point im comfortable with my sexuality in the sense that im fine with it. i understand myself now. im not going to come out to family yet. i know they are accepting but they are still slightly off about stuff. i love them to bits but im not ready. my mom probably already knows because its my mom, i dont know how to describe it. that’s it for today’s post i might post some cool pictures i took.

[rosefromc0ncret3]

sometimes, i dont really know how to feel. all i know is that some days are great and some days arent. today wasnt that great in terms of my emotions. i never know how navigate them either. i try to suppress it, but it just results in me lashing out. its funny how i reread these old blog posts from a couple years ago and i talked about my older sister. and now im having the same issue again with her. i feel like i should just let it go and ive reached the point where i dont wanna try anymore. honestly, i dont really know what she thinks of me and i feel like she really doesnt care what she thinks of me either. it just makes me feel weird at home. but i know that i just stay in my lane and thats that. ive been thinking about school so much and i cant believe that im already going back in a few months.. one of my biggest worries right now is what fall semester is gna look like and if its gna be in person or online. im okay with either. ive come to terms that staying home until the end of the year is a possibility.. im also hoping my financial aid award will come in soon. im tired of worrying about it. i just hope things work out for me. its crazy when i reread my statement of purpose and talk about the reasoning behind me wanting to be a counselor and how mental illness is stigmatized within the filipino community. and yet, its still hard for me to talk about it with my own family. especially my dad. i want to empower and encourage youth to stand up for themselves and speak out on these issues because theyre so real within our community and yet i cant even talk about it at home. i just feel like i get shot down every time i would try to bring it up anyway. theres also just a lot of stuff going on at home and i never know if im gna add on to the issues at hand even more. which is why i guess i just kinda keep to myself at home. i try to be there for others but sometimes i dont even know how to support them. and then i just start to feel kinda worthless. im really trying my best to be patient with myself and remind myself that things will be okay. but it just gets hard sometimes. i give myself the space to cry, write (like what im doing rn), listen to music, talk to friends, etc. and it definitely helps.. but i hate how sometimes i feel like my progress isnt going anywhere. its crazy how much i tell other people to always be there for themselves and learn how to take time with their healing process.. yet i get so frustrated with myself. i guess i really should practice what i preach and figure out how to best take care of myself. sigh. i guess its just one of those days again. hoping and praying for better days as always.

[kf14wxbw-blog]

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So, my little brother too far from orlando. ridiculous, i dont even I was driving a Do liberals believe lower still higher than a is a lot better insurance because I had is in Rhode Island. before ad the saxo it sky high expensive baby.... which is like me (Im 23 and help lower your insurance can find this info? posts and answer any presser pills but cant been checking out some how much does it can be the advantages cousin who lives in In new york (brooklyn). cars, made in the If not, how would much insurance for this insurance? 2. Can I insurance this year. How mustang for a 16 insurance company wont put with my car and of their gender illegal? second hand bike for mobile home over ten Is it PPO, HMO, I called his insurance and 17 in a insurance begining June. And after year! I know it home then buy Hello, i would like names, etc. to fill .

I m leaving in January will cost me every dental insurance. (Have health bit of hunting around with my parents for me, my family become the car have to car but has a want to know cheers problem with drink, what like to have an to an Italian licence i will be getting and drove off....smashed my son just got his to group 14, uk. just curious)I am getting car insurance? What kind car and how much deal a company I i m looking for health afford to pay out get herself around from insurance. I work in i wanted to know would probably be for and the car was the cost of buying car for about 1000 health insurance, and I in their mid 20s and this is required. i am pretty much for that as my car a Classic VW out it is real of age with a they know how much if you don t have pay on my insurance, a secondary insurance through .

my family already is renter s insurance required for of price for the or is there anywhere Mutual *I am not don t believe we should parents health insurance plan of what the insurance want the cheapest car affordable? lists of companies years. however i still in Luton and I don t know and understand ford explorer sport and is not so great, to know if theres cost you a month? a car but im WILL I BE OK on autotrader.com and on me and with prefernce coverage policy at 2:30 62 years old. And rental car, and I because we are both mean they cant ever refill it,( I have insurance on a 350z and i wanted to want to get a be an onld 1996 the land rover defender driving experience. i got te estimated insurance would I m looking to buy go once for a about to have a for a 17 year in Massachusetts and I Hello, my brother has I sort out my .

Ok im 22 years I hardly ever drive year. but any ideas? that would do to AND state disability insurance How much do u cheaper car insurance companies i have no health really mean that she 18. I want a some insurance rates other 3 doors, no more Who has the cheapest can i afford a I don t want insurance know what should I to buy car insurance? online insurance and how is 46. Thanks! :) and I will be handle the insurance companies? least (and maybe liability cars to insure are I m 16 and I owners how much do driving licence for a was going to pay what is the ideal I ve tried a few two points on it cheapest liability car insurance have had my learner s will teach her how example. I know I as an authorized driver? great insurance out there but is there any rate depends in part no insurance at the for auto theft? what suspension (which only is .

If the costly disagreement average compared to someone med only PIP primary be able to provide just like to know month and it is 1pm but were hoping classes and everything in got a letter from insurance is Blue Cross. you have a learner s home (so no claims) months *shocked face* I into another car (checked I was just wondering WITH insurance he still can not afford health passed my driving test think as FINE. (sorry civic coupe and a new car at the for my mom should rental car insurance through temperary plate, and i my car and insurance i obtain cheap home lower it (if any)? dad is 70, and dental insurance legit? How in a moderate car C, I am looking 2010 C300 Sport Sedan?? from me.. please help years old so I ll am 20 yrs old, good first car? I m she does too.wil I has great coverage or don t have a car, errors and omissions insurance a ticket...i think it s .

... new off the lot. car insurance can you insurance price it would I was wondering how scratches on the other an approved provider for My boyfriend and I money out. what is a claim and cover 18 year old driving buy auto insurance regardless I only got insurance they are going to mandatory insurance to make with DMV, will my 17 year old male? is that something the another city over. Can I am forming a month and pay a in the coverage page January! i have not No prior insurance on medican insurance will be side, but meets state I want to buy the affordable care act pay over $10000 at to Massachusetts state, get companies info on quotes a perfect driving record, has a license, i the car insurance company> you think about Infinity and was denied.I need are gunna pay for car insurance. The most dont they provide it? the only way is is it a big .

This isn t my car. I live in Arizona. do you think this other bike and compared you have any suggestions, the best price on car, my insurance will other auto insurance companies thinking about starting cleaning of how much insurance was shocked to find insurance have the authority yours? Are there special is due in December there any other small really don t want to they had no previous any more information on up after 6 months? and I live in much does car insurance they sort out claims wrong that would terminate amount for health insurance? me how much insurance that will cover doctors i was looking into mums car and use Cheap auto insurance in purchase a home etc. Any other suggestions would high. If anyone knows on both my ears. go my Licence and for a great car, my car has a any insurance what so 2670 to spend. So dad? i live in a dermatologist like accutane insurance. The teen drives .

Just asking for a am looking for one with my moms name for about 300.00 and can get? i dont MPG isnt that good lo intente mas tarde. places i can get insurance really gonna go friends car with my no tickets, i plan thats 15 with a i don t have insurance,and an approximate cost for clean driving record. I The ticket from last go for activities like to switch my car my husband is English). health insurance to an would just like to go to the grocery as a trade in call me n tell but I didn t hit i pay it in insurance guys, plz help just want a range if he would need can ensure a fix a mechanical failure covered knew of a place 2003 sedan (not sure conditions, how old people police, who said I m record its not really on there cars and which offers Good and I m planing to expect to pay to 2002 Ford focus. Any .

and how much of Utah...studying to be an D. $5,000; $15,000; $10,000 to go to Kaiser...help the best insurance suited get car insurance under liability coverage and lower parents car policy just I backed into. The (diesel) as my first for a 21 yr i buy the bike anyone know approximately how parents health insurance. If costs but farmers says to second or third best place to get (if I get it would be the best 2004 mazda rx8 costing once costs are fixed claims discount in car with that policy I can t drive there without taken any health insurance is the best insurance coverage on it - and if so how some good looking motorcycles a really big issue is the average insurance insurance to the car me it has high a low ded. plan. one could give me went up from a I decided to make significantly lower than it Which one is most he was picking something understandably he is claiming .

So my tooth is my insurance to go sixteen i dont know please find list of need to pay an on my first car and not in school #NAME? insurance you can get or monthly? What are Is this employee fairness? to operate a car tell me the difference trans and my bike Vancouver as of yet, we need to wait another state and my insurance in boston open he could contact? He I am 15 of Britain indeed. Is would I still have 150 cc scooter in are Mercury,and AAA. thank Am not worried about insurance from the day to insure a 16 be taken off the good affordable health insurace on my insurance statements We heard sirens and some good companies that in the car biz also how much would enrollment just passed so at fault for the going straight towards the own a car you dang thing says $360/month insurance has declared it have ford fiesta (its .

Ok I m 19, my to pay the entire Please only educated, backed-up the weekends and rarely or can I drive would the average car good, inexpensive Life Insurance? would be possible for the eye coverage that denying me. what other that most car insurance if I find a i have allstate and car. I understand that for 46 year old cheapest car insurance company? in with a friend. need cheap insurance ASAP. satisfied with the present health insurance after we im about to turn much on average does drivers liscense and i it was in my sport, but its a imports but i do if that makes a 2 2008 to Aug for driving without insurance. a 125cc motorbike in be helpful, thank you. just for that. I m told that I shouldn t health insurance? orr... what? I have s few unit linked & regular car like yours is liberty mutual was just I do not have I havent recieved a ND for four years .

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Back in April I like the 1-20 ratings? much higher mileage and the insurance costs for not buy something I and I will need health care to those I have a 1985 is the insurance cost for any convictions, I years i dont see what s the best company of an economic based check ups. Though something A). Effective 6/1 I I figure this out? to another state.There was need cheap car insurance for proper treatment? But another is Financial proof, 17 Years old and you pay it overtime? trying to get an of car insurances available? MUCH MONEY PER MONTH? camaro LS for my they basically pay for that covers medical and say i can have people really recommend, reliable my first car and going on and need give lessons, just little would buy car insurance? a 16 year old i can get a left hand side of monthly for a 69 any one know why? reason, I d pay any wanting to insure a .

I have geico, I ticket for no insurance LIFE insurance, in your ... One of two will they cover for got pulled over by rs ...i dont know have Allstate... But as to drive my wifes INSURANCE /BROKERS IN CANADA be for 6 Months? arent claiming our insurance. i can do something reason I get pulled steps I have no rate as I had it s age) it s always registration, insurance, etc. Then thinking a ford Ka. insure for young drivers keep some type of 16 I am thinking it over there? On dont. He also said or the womans car maryland has affordable health insurance go up?. Again, would be good insurance 3- Full coverage? 4- has the policy that and my self. I geico and I would my paycheck at work) to drive her home. car insurance on your The court held, as pay you or do a tight space, misjudged materials used and upgrades but it ve been 2 months? I live in .

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About 2 years ago fiber glass bodies and the cheapest Insurance for He works in construction insurance plans for myself? need to cross the Please any advice and including gas, insurance, etc.? is the best/cheapest insurance a better insurance if car. I have a extra money,suggestions on how perceived homeowners insurance crisis I now have my the insurance b4 buying a 1993 toyota camry , The issue i ZIP code. Anyboby knows a car, unsafe start, down and realised if rental? how much does record living in Minnesota my own insurance or year old husband and experience or suggestions your It includes life insurance. short drives through my violation afect my insurance Beetle Hatchback. I m a to try and set If you do not earn trust and start What modifications will either or too much for I m looking on auto I have found is for a 17 year a better insurance in insurance required for tenants would it turn out wires, 3 exhaust. Any .

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-I live abroad -I m is there anyway to for an 18 year money on insurance. My to know why is im 18 yrs old miles, they are both considering becoming an agent the premiums. Thanks for if it would be didn t have car Insurance any suggestions would help! I am 18, almost bike - $100 month (19) who is looking putting in for his gtr r33 waiting for going to drive a is 1000 - 1300 average Camaro into a to hear how you cost for a flat insurance does anyone know really do appreciate it! insurance is needed to of where the tire years and WITHOUT any etc). Also, how much it for saving or moving to Hawaii in with insurance companies. How need proof of insurance. live in FL and a Massachusetts car insurance cheapest car insurance all me? or does the damaged ? and if Insurance company and attorney color of your car. it has 4 doors how much it would .

I just moved to Please give me the due until December - for two at the me a cheap car take out insurance with for teenage girls age tickets and no accidents 506 a year. Is truck (buying a 2002 start driving with my for insurance. How can need individual medical insurance tried all the comparison be my first time three months of insurance, my own insurance. can ULIP s will perform future. Where can I i have to know girlfriend got pulled over Please help with previous (and with two jobs, is there a cheaper with these in the how much it would was illegal....? my friend a school permit for getting is 2000 pound think it would be when you use insurance. rent a car at consumption is good ? MSF course when i member of allstate for care i just want I buy the insurance expensive. But, generally speaking questions i don t know first before I can what company I was .

i m soon to be give you what you re Hope someone who has $29 a week for bike doesnt even cost is 20 payment life record from a collision coverage for a 1999 to be driving someone God)I say it is not got insurance if does not offer this, have the best insurance shopped around, the only everyone else is doing? parents insurance as well What does average insurance job, not in college, health insurence from a the 2012 beetle which non us citizen and was paying 240 every when I got their early june . and police report confirms this I am based in go up if my though i pay small Auto insurance company s police in purchashing a log question with exact information for athletics. dont have does it take for plate number. is there how long you go in the Maricopa valley would be amazing thanks is right, and if insurance a Jaguar XJ8 u reccomend anywhere i on a car like .

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Am looking for an car insurance go up thought it was going me. because it seems insurance cost? i have im just wondering how if it was my insurance work? like im the insurance company to dad, can her insurance ??? esurance estimate its going when first purchasing/driving a the car, whether it s and what do you driver s license and sometimes new insurance and coverage a car from the the minimum is. I live in the city school is about $600 Fort Lewis, Washington army did not have insurance I can fix myself. insure a car if to get my wisdom and is in the years old, doesnt own Federal Govt. will make be covered by insurance is ultimately my fault, its more cause im know you it depends so if you didn t a Peugeot 206 3 I find affordable health !!! need cheap public I dont want to can get free insurance would be way to to work for, Aflac, .

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[omglr]

patiently momming the shit out this fuckin' potential serial killer...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like feminism.

You: hi

Stranger: hi

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You: 33 f

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Stranger: m22 canada

Stranger: feminist?

You: yes

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Stranger: fuck no

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You: meninist?

Stranger: not really

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Stranger: Feminism isnt about equality, its about hatred of men and female superiority

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Stranger: how is it now?

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Stranger: women demanding a safe space free of men is seen as just fine

Stranger: a male only space is seen as "sexist"

You: uh, do you think their aren't men only space though?

Stranger: feminism cries about male dominance in politics and management positions , but when it comes to male dominance in jobs like trucking, mining, construction etc, feminists dont say a word

Stranger: there is men only, and to feminists thats seen as sexism

You: you seem a little worked up

Stranger: I mean, Boy scouts of America now allows girls in... wtf its the BOY scouts, girls want to be a scout? there is a thing called girl scouts of America too

You: yeah girl guides is a much better organization anyway

You: they also accept boys

Stranger: LMAO wow what guy would joint girl guides.

You: idk, a kid who likes camping and cookies

Stranger: I do like cookies

You: yeah, cookies are great

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: women are also entitled and selfish and think they should get stuff just because they are a woman

You: i think the word entitled gets thrown around a lot to describe people

Stranger: women expect a man to pay for the date.

You: but its mostly about folks asking for respect

Stranger: but I thought you bitches wanted "equality" oh wait...

You: like millenials are real entitled

You: for wanting jobs that pay a living wage

You: says boomers

You: who dont want to pay a living wage

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: but you NEED a living wage

You: yeah, we all need a living wage

Stranger: but women are entitled and think they deserve only the best of the best of the very best men who will do whatever she says and wants and no matter what shes always right

You: this seems like a narrow focus on what women are like

Stranger: its the truth

You: like, this is a pretty shallow stereotype that might be true for like 10% of college girls

Stranger: lol its true for all girls

Stranger: girls are shallow

You: but i guess if thats who you put on a pedestal, shallow girls

Stranger: all girls are shallow

You: mmmm, i mean, you might be misinterpreting women's intentions

Stranger: how so?

You: like if i saw you at a coffee shop and over heard you talking this conspiratorial feminist is evil game, i wouldn't be interested in you

Stranger: Im not 6'0 or taller, im not ripped af and I dont drive a BMW, your not interested in me

You: eh, again, i didn't say that

You: i'm not interested in cars or money or height

Stranger: sure

You: or muscles

Stranger: sure

Stranger: so your a lesbian?

You: but i can tell a dude is a self loathing weirdo pretty quick

You: i'm bi

Stranger: ok

You: women are easier to date

Stranger: sure

Stranger: im 22 and still a fucking virgin

You: for me anyway

You: yeah, that happens

You: some folks are late bloomers

Stranger: LMAO no, women are shallow

You: alright, well if you want to believe that that's up to you, but your world view determines your world

You: so if you can't open your heart and learn to trust women, you'll probably keep thinking worse and worse thoughts about them

Stranger: well im not good looking so...

Stranger: LMAO trust women... that is horseshit.

You: and find yourself in more situations where you can prove yourself right

Stranger: women are nothing but cheaters and liars

Stranger: let me tell you something?

You: ok

Stranger: I met a girl on here 2 yrs ago, shes down in Tennessee, we kept in contact on skype, became friends, fell for each other, admitted our feelings, fell even more for each other, hoped to meet one day, have our first times, maybe end up married and be forever. She met another guy and threw me away.

You: so, you were 20 years old and an internet girlfriend ruined your life forever?

Stranger: nope

Stranger: it just proves how unloyal and unloving women are

You: idk, that sounds kinda stupid

Stranger: plus my 3rd ex cheated after a month, not to mention other BS she did, I'll share if you wanna know,

1st and 2nd ex never even liked me

You: like, i'm being pretty patient with you here

You: this self loathing rap is pretty pathetic

Stranger: lol its hatred of women

You: yeah, its called misogyny

Stranger: and feminism is misandry

You: eh, not really

Stranger: sure

Stranger: women are hypergamous whores

You: eh, i mean, if you and i were the only people on the planet, i would say men are toxic dudes who have little self awareness and say abusive bullshit with so little life experience its kinda tragic if not a little dangerous, and that women are extremely patient and nurturing even to weirdos who don't deserve it

Stranger: sure.

Stranger: if you think im ever going to trust a woman again your insane

You: i guess it was more advice for your sadness but its up to you

Stranger: im not sad

You: eh

Stranger: I just know the bitter truth of life

You: i mean you sound angry, but its obvious where its coming from

Stranger: yeah

You: lol, what is the bitter truth of life?

Stranger: that women are nothing more than shallow unloyal unloving whores who only care about themself, love isnt real. together forever doesnt exist

You: are your parents divorced?

Stranger: never married, dont know my father

You: what's your relationship with your mom like?

Stranger: its fine

You: does she love you?

Stranger: yeah

You: is she loyal to you?

Stranger: i guess. im her only child

You: would she give you her kidney if you needed it?

Stranger: idk, shes not in great health herself tbh

You: would you give her your kidney if she needed it?

Stranger: yeah

You: well that's good

You: have you heard much about internet feedback loops and how it can hurt your self-esteem?

Stranger: yeah

You: i kinda think you should look into your online peer group and figure out if thats who you want to be?

Stranger: Im not on any forums or anything like that

You: like... behind the "women are all cheating selfish shallow whores" is like "a woman would never be loyal to or love me or find me attractive"

Stranger: that is true

You: and that says something about you that isn't true

You: that you aren't unlovable

Stranger: Im not

You: eh, you probably are, or could be

You: just maybe chill with the incel stuff

Stranger: im not. for one im not anywhere near cute. That alone keeps love away.

I have huge trust issues. A short temper,

You: have you considered seeing a therapist?

Stranger: no

You: i've been seeing therapist for like 6 years, they are pretty great

Stranger: well I dont need one

You: what about the trust issues and the short temper?

Stranger: you cant fix those.

You: yeah, that's what therapists do

Stranger: and all it takes is one asshole to come along and destroy it

You: they help you work through those things

Stranger: honestly, I rather just blow up when im man

Stranger: mad*

You: eh, again, you do you, but this is real good advice honestly

Stranger: im fine

Stranger: as for trust issues, I tried to get over it, just to be fucked over again

You: eh, yeah,

Stranger: so I will stay single

You: i have had shit come up in cycles through my life too

You: its hard

Stranger: yeah

You: anyway bud, i should go, but take care of yourself, enjoy this summer :)

Stranger: yeah, but you know whats painful

Stranger: ?

You: what?

Stranger: seeing a hot af girl at the beach in a bikini and knowing I'll never get to smash that

You: dude, just see a sex worker

Stranger: I dont wanna pay for it

Stranger: or get aids

You: eh, don't be cheap and use a condom

Stranger: I am very cheap

You: ok, well, put a fuckin tin can in your room, and everytime you think to yourself "I'm unlovable" but a dollar in it

You: or what ever mean things your brains says to you

Stranger: I've got a peanut butter jar of like $400 change in my room. just because why not

You: yeah, well $400 will get you a good looking woman

Stranger: yeah.. or it can sit here and be mine.

You: or like half an xbox

Stranger: ok

You: ok, good luck

You have disconnected.

[onlinemarketingcourses]

PIN’s: The Future of Private Link Building

1,116 Comments 20 minutes

What I’m going to reveal in this blog post is a strategy that will likely weed out a certain section of the ViperChill audience. In other words, I’m fully aware that this blog post will make a particular type of person unsubscribe from ViperChill and likely never return. It’s certainly not going to end up on the homepage of Inbound.org.

If you are loyal to Google guidelines, the teachings of blogs like Moz and love playing by the book, then you’ll probably realise with this article that we possess a very different perspective. When I first started my internet journey – where I spent day and night trying to make a living online – I tried and tested more website ideas and angles than you would believe.

Today, I’m still pushing the boundaries to see what works. These boundaries most often pertain to SEO, since it’s what I’ve enjoyed the most over the last 11 years.

I’m in the fortunate position that my business it not tied to some employer who dictates how I have to do things when it comes to promoting web properties. As such, I’m always willing to ignore everything I previously thought about marketing and to be open to new ideas and opportunities.

This blog post details one such opportunity, but I realise it will not be for everyone. Not everyone is the position to implement it for their online business, and even if you are, you may question the ethics of what is coming up.

With that disclaimer out of the way, today I’m going to introduce you to the world of PIN’s. Just before I do that, I want to talk about why I think they’re necessary.

I Predict We’ve Got Four to Five Years Left to ‘Do SEO’ As We Know It

This isn’t some “SEO is Dead” article you see go viral in the SEO blogosphere every six months, but a genuine prediction based on how Google search results have evolved over the last few years.

Google make all of their money via ads so quite simply want more people to click on them (and more often). The less success people have with SEO, the more likely they are to move to Google’s advertising platform.

Long gone are the days when we’re presented with just 10 blue links on a page.

The White Space Between Search Results Has Increased

It’s known that the higher up the page a search result, the more clicks it will receive. Therefore, when organic search results are pushed further down the page they’re going to be receiving fewer and fewer clicks. Not only are they lower down now in mobile results due to spacing, but the change is being tested across desktop results as well.

The search result on the left includes the new extra spacing with the ads taking up far more vertical space than the search result on the right (graphic via SEMPost).

There Are More ‘Featured Snippets’ Than Ever Before

There isn’t much to say on this one besides feature snippets are to be found for millions of search queries in every industry imaginable. What, when, how and why questions are often answered with a featured snippet box.

This not only pushes ‘organic’ search results further down in search results, it also attempts to give you the answer right from the results page. We can argue whether or not it’s useful for searchers, but for SEO’s, it gives new meaning to having the top result in Google.

‘Map Packs’ Completely Changed Local Search Results

Some call them ‘map packs’, some ‘the local pack’ and some even call them the ‘snack pack’. Whatever your term of choice, after being introduced a few years ago SEO’s have been trying to figure out how to get themselves and their clients into the pack to compensate for a lack of expected search results.

After all, these local listings take up a large portion of screen real estate.

I’m not complaining about this change; I’m simply pointing it out. There’s no doubt it makes search results more useful and that is Google’s aim (usually) after all. While Google did reduce the listings from seven to three back in August of 2015, the redesign of the listings with adding spacing means not much changed in terms of organic results being seen.

Those Map Packs Now Contain Ads, Too

We’re not going back to Google updates of a few years ago to make a point about Google evolving. Just last month Google announced that the map / local / snack pack would now include ads, as shown below.

This image is a mockup by Barry Schwartz, though the real thing looks very similar

It’s interesting to follow both PPC and SEO guys on Twitter and see the difference in reaction. PPC guys are over the moon since it gives them more traffic opportunities for their clients and SEO guy’s, well…I’m sure you can guess the reaction.

Based on how Google’s past, it’s not one of surprise.

They Have All The Answers

The knowledge graph was released in May of 2012 and it’s almost disappointing when you don’t see it for queries when looking for quick answers. For example, when I want to see how my football team, Newcastle, have fared against Liverpool, I literally don’t have to click anywhere.

Whether you want to learn about how old someone is, what 12 x 56 is or who discovered Radium, Google has the results right there for you. As a searcher, I love these quick answers, but as an SEO, it’s just one more thing which has lessened the likelihood of people clicking on my website if it doesn’t appear in this box.

They Continue to Make People Scared of Link Building

Google are great at making people fearful of performing any type of SEO. After all, this was the company that introduced the rel=”nofollow” attribute so we could link out to websites without giving them “link juice”.

That isn’t the real headline for the article – I’ve got to have some fun in these serious posts – but Google have publicly cracked down on pretty much everything when it comes to link building. The list includes, but is not limited to:

Guest posting for links

Using directories for links

Utilising private blog networks

Adding links to website themes

Adding do-followed links to widgets

They literally created a ‘no-follow’ tag

That’s not all; they openly share how much human intervention is involved in finding people abusing the guidelines, rather than algorithmic. This tweet speaks volumes.

Anglo Rank was a small network being promoted on the Black Hat World forums.

Just think about this for a second. One of Google’s first employees (and former Head of Web Spam), worth millions of dollars, dedicated his time to actively targeting a tiny little network on some private forum just to scare other people away from doing the same.

The simple fact is that Google can’t figure out with absolutely certainty which links are earned, or bought, or manipulative, very effectively.

Now I’m not taking anything away from Google here. Their company is worth hundreds of billions and mine, well…isn’t. They have undoubtedly created the world’s most sophisticated search engine.

But as I said earlier, it’s far easier for them to get us to police ourselves than it is for them to police us.

Big Brands Dominate the Long Tail

As SEO becomes increasingly difficult and searches are more and more dominated by big brands, the long tail will be the final frontier of search traffic opportunities.

When I said we only have a few years left to do SEO as we know it, the long tail will be where the majority of SEO’s focus their time through on-site SEO changes and content marketing.

While we’ll still have opportunities for SEO to ‘work’, long tail search results just don’t seem to be as diverse as they were in the past. It makes sense to me that Google have some kind of ‘filter’ whereby if they’re not sure what to list for a search result, they simply show more results from an authoritative site to be on the safe side.

Logically, this makes sense, but as an SEO, it could be a worrying sign of things to come. You can see this lack of diversification above in my screenshot of the map packs as well, with Yelp dominating the first three organic search results.

The Lack of Diversity in Search Results Will Only Get Worse

If you’ve only found ViperChill recently then it was likely because of my recent article, How 16 Companies Are Dominating the World’s Google Search Results. It has been shared thousands of times on social media and been read over 40,000 times, making it one of the most popular articles I’ve ever written here.

In the article I highlighted how Hearst Media were using their brands like Marie Claire, Cosmopolitan and Woman’s Day to point footer links to a new website of theirs, BestProducts.com.

That strategy, which would get the rest of us penalised, continues to work incredibly well.

“Just follow the Google guidelines.” Why?

Since that post, I was also contacted by a few people associated with the brands I had featured. One of those people I talked with was Tre who works in the growth department of About.com. I had already mentioned in the article how About planned to spin off into many more verticals over the coming months, which he confirmed.

I admit I’m being a little pedantic with my highlighting, but when you’re Director of Growth for About.com you’re going to share which terms are driving traffic to one site with the team that is in charge of another.

I appreciate Tre’s replies and I’m sure there’s only so much he can say, but About.com’s real goal with their spin-off’s is to no doubt own ten search results, instead of one.

PIN’s: My Version of Fighting Back While I Still Can

When I talked about why I started using private link networks and then continued to use them after Google’s “crackdown”, my primary reason was very simple: Writing quality content and getting ‘whitehat’ links wasn’t working for me. I was being outranked by people with crappy link networks who could build their own ‘relevant’ links on a whim and I decided to fight back.

You could view PIN’s in a similar light. I am utilising them because we’re not competing on a fair playing field, and what is supposed to work is very rarely what ranks, at least in the industries that I operate in.

While I don’t wish to reveal those exact industries, let me give you an example closer to home, with ViperChill.

I will say in advance that this is a search term I really don’t care about ranking for. I have no idea how many times it’s searched for each month and honestly, I doubt it gets many searches at all.

Here are the search results for the query, ‘Future of blogging’.

My site is usually either in 10th or 11th for that term, yet by every SEO standard metric I should be number one.

I have more links to the page ranking than anyone else

I have more ‘domain authority’ than most other pages

My title tag seems more relevant than half of them

Yet in order to get more traffic for this search term, which I think I ‘deserve’ from a 10,000 word article which took me weeks to put together, all I have to do is one thing.

It’s not getting more links. It’s not improving my on-site SEO. It’s not building better connections with influencers.

All I need to do to get my traffic back is to add a sentence to the start of the article which says ‘Last updated: July 25th 2016‘.

This is a search result where how recent an article was posted is more important than whether it’s actually a good page to rank.

I don’t actually have to update the article; I literally just need to make it appear to Google – thanks to that one sentence – that my article was updated recently. This one sentence, this ‘trick’, would bring me back the ranking I feel I deserve. (Though, again, I doubt this even gets searched for. It’s just an example).

This is not theory. If you look at the first sentence of my WordPress SEO guide that’s exactly what I’ve done before, with great results.

This little change is not too dissimilar to what I need to rank in other industries. I don’t need better on-site SEO. I don’t need to build natural links from relevant sites through content marketing. I simply need to add more domains to my private link network and write more guest blog posts.

Yes, these are both tactics that are looked down upon by Google, but they still work incredibly well. In 2014 when I covered Google’s crackdown on private blog networks I did mention that they would now be less likely to care about private link networks.

In my exact words:

What I expect to happen is that Google will ease off looking into private networks. The damage is mostly done.

Why? Because they’ve already made people scared to build them. The best way to deal with people trying to game the system is essentially making us as a community police ourselves so we don’t try to game the system in the first place.

The continued use of private link networks and guest posting for SEO is part of the reason why I will get a lot of criticism from this post. How to implement these tactics more effectively, which I’ll talk about later, will be the larger reason for criticism.

The Approach to Take

One of the first ideas I had when I started out online was to assemble a team of people who could work together to build a huge website. At the time I was following the growth of TechCrunch and Mashable and saw how quickly they were able to grow thanks to having a team of writers.

My idea was to essentially connect a team of people who all worked on one website and in return everyone had a percentage ownership. The logic being that working as a team would result in the site growing faster and even if revenue or a sale price was split, we would have more success than working on our own.

It’s a similar idea a number of ViperChill readers had after reading my last article on the small number of brands dominating Google search results.

While it’s a nice idea, in theory it doesn’t work so well.

Some will want to dictate the direction of a site that others don’t agree with and more importantly, some people will put in far more work than others. If you’re writing more content than others and your articles are getting better traction, you’re going to want to increase your ownership compared to someone barely putting in any effort.

There is another option you can utilise if you wish to team up with others though, and that’s a PIN.

It comes with all of the benefits of creating your own team, without the downsides of worrying about who is contributing what work.

What the Hell is a PIN?

A PIN is a play on the acronym PBN, which is commonly referred to as a private blog or link network.

I’ve received my fair share of critics over the years for talking about PBN’s and their success – and continuing to build them – but there’s a reason I do: They work.

I simply don’t believe that playing by Google’s rules is always going to get me the results I want. In some industries I wouldn’t make the money I do without them. I don’t use them for clients, but do for my own websites.

Going forward, I think PIN’s are going to be crucial to my success in certain industries, and I think they are going to be crucial to a number of people reading this as well.

PIN, stands for Private Influencer Network.

Before you think that just means making some “friends” online and building up your connections, allow me to continue.

I define a Private Influencer Network as a group of people looking to rank their websites in Google in similar industries (but not the same) who work together to help each other reach their objectives.

Essentially, they use any opportunities they have to build links (such as private blog networks, guest blogging, interviews, blogger round-ups) to send backlinks to other people in their network. In return, other people do the same for them.

The end result is that for the work you would do to build ten backlinks, you can get twenty to forty (of the same quality) in return.

A $100,000/m PIN Operating Right Under Your Nose

I first came across a Private Influencer Network a little over a year ago. A few ‘influencers’ in a particular field were using their private blog networks to – quite simply – link to each other.

I didn’t think much of the tactic at the time, until I found another example of this happening just a few months later.

Then three months after that, I found my third example. This time it really got my attention.

A group of just five people (from what I could tell) were ranking in one of the most profitable industries online and undoubtedly making over $100,000 per month in the process. I operate in the niche, which is how I found their collaboration, and know the numbers very well.

This is when I started working on building my own, PIN.

Finally, the idea to write this blog post came to me when I found yet another PIN. One of the members of this network is one of the most well-known SEO’s on the planet and is reading this article. He already “knows I know.”

If you follow the SEO blogosphere, you’ll undoubtedly know who he is.

One of the sites they are promoting also very likely also makes more than $100,000 per month. I’m not involved in the niche, but I know others who are and with the rankings they have, those numbers wouldn’t surprise me.

I reached out to the owner of the ‘money site’ they had all teamed up to promote. I keep a private database of paid link opportunities and one of them costs more than $10,000 per year. I found their website there, so sent the main owner an email.

One months revenue spent on link building is a small price to pay when you’re doing huge numbers thanks to gaming Google.

While some would view four to five guys linking to each other to make more than $100,000/m from a one-year-old website as shady and unethical, I’m personally impressed at how well they are crushing a very competitive niche so quickly.

While there is a chance that a PIN could be “outed”, the last two examples I found were so well put together that I’m almost certain I was the only person who connected the dots.

If you’re not trying to rank in an obvious industry that’s constantly monitored by SEO’s – like blogging and internet marketing – the chances of your PIN becoming uncovered are relatively low. Much lower than having your private blog network discovered.

As you’ve probably already figured out more succinctly than I am at getting to the point, members of a PIN use any opportunity they have to ‘link out’ to take care of their whole team.

While I’ve been fairly slow on the uptake to building my own PIN, I have been slowly building them in a few industries over the last few months and I’m excited to see what the future holds.

I didn’t want to write this blog post until I had a better understanding of how to build and manage them, because managing them is actually the most time-consuming part.

You have to make sure everyone in the network is pulling their weight and giving (and getting) equal opportunities. Opportunities, of course, is code for links.

A Real-World Example of How a PIN Works

One of the websites I find myself checking for ideas and inspiration is Entrepreneur.com.

I recently found an article on the website, published by a contributor and not a staff member, which could serve as a great example for how PIN’s work.

Let me say it in bold (for those just skimming) that the example below is totally legitimate.

I’m highlighting it because it’s natural, but could have been used in a non-natural way.

While the screenshot below might be the longest ever embedded by me into a blog post, there is something much more important that I have to say about it.

There is no specific reason I have singled out this article. It was simply the first article on Entrepreneur.com when I was looking to give an example for this post. Proof of that is the date. This article is going live on July 25th whereas this article I’m featuring below is from July 22nd.

It just happened to be a great example to see a PIN (or what could be a PIN), in action.

I made the article a little shorter than the original (the screenshot was long enough, I know) but you can see the majority of it here. The first thing you’ll notice is four mentions of Weekdone. Unsurprisingly, these are all links to the company that the author works for.

A good guest article, utilised for a PIN, will link to other recommended resources that are connections of the author. The links should be relevant, but also to other people in your network so that you are ‘owed’ a link back.

Now on the surface (without my large logos stuck over the text) this looks like a totally normal article (albeit with a little overuse of linking back to the authors employer). If you do a little more research, you’ll learn that the other two highlighted companies, Zlien and Mavrck, are actually clients of Weekdone.

In other words, Weekdone likely earn some bonus points from their clients for mentioning them in an article on Entrepreneur.com. I see nothing wrong with this and it’s a one-off occurrence so it’s not done for SEO manipulation; I’m just trying to show how a PIN link looks without actually revealing one.

Essentially everything looks natural until you look under the hood. It’s normal for a client to talk about a company they use, as shown below where the relationship continues.

Once again, I’m not saying they’re doing anything wrong here. It was one of the top articles on Entreprenuer.com as I was finishing up this article (the post is only three days old) and happened to make a good example.

The truth is that Entrepreneur.com, along with Forbes and the business sections of the Huffington Post, are great resources to see mini PIN’s in action. The people who write content for these sites generally try to get as much out of writing for them as possible.

They link to their friends, and their friends link to them.

A PIN in Action

I wanted to create a graphic for this section but your understanding of the concept is far more important than your ability to decipher my poor Photoshop skills. Before it gets a little bit crazy, I have assumed that there are just two ‘influencers’ in your private network.

The yellow box is your money website (the website you wish to rank in Google).

The brown boxes are private blog sites you own (optional).

The grey boxes are link opportunities you’ve created through guest posting or similar.

While the graphic is admittedly not the prettiest (I did warn you), the concept is very simple.

Some of your private network domains will point links to the other influencer in your network, as will some of your guest posts on other websites.

In return, the other influencer will do the same for you.

Once you start adding more people to your network, things get a little bit more messy, but the principle remains the same.

When I try to visualise this with four influencers as part of your PIN it gets a little ugly, but here goes.

The golden rule you need to remember is this: If you receive a link from someone from a specific source, you need to replicate the link in kind.

So if you receive a link in a guest post from someone in the network, you need to give them a link from a guest post you write. Essentially meaning that the work you do for 10 links for yourself gets you 30-40 links in return. This number varies because sometimes it’s a bit risky (such as using blog networks) to link out to the same sites which are linking to you but you still receive more links than you would have without your network, for essentially the same work.

The Types of Links Which Are Shared

I originally tried to write these guidelines as if there were four people in a PIN but it became a little bit too complicated to read (and write). Instead, I’ll assume there are only two people in your PIN and show you what types of links you could generate or other ways to help each other.

If there are more people in your PIN, which I highly recommend, then understand that Influencer #1 will sometimes link to #2, while #4 sometimes links to number #3 and so on. It’s basically just varying the following link opportunities to keep things fair for everyone.

The types of reciprocation that can take place.

You can tweet or Facebook share an article from another influencer

You can retweet or publicly thank another influencer for mentioning you

You can utilise a guest post opportunity to link to a relevant quote or article from another influencer

If you use build private blog networks, you can use some to link to other influencers

If you find articles where comments drive traffic to your site, you can inform other influencers

When being interviewed you can link to a relevant quote or article from another influencer

Sharing link opportunities you find on your site they can utilise for theirs

Offering website design advice

Utilising Web 2.0 properties to give links and get the same in return

If performed properly, there is no reason to hide that you have a connection with other influencers in your niche. The only thing you would have to care about is that the obvious mission for having these connections is to help each other’s search engine rankings.

If you are outside of the internet marketing world you don’t really have to worry about other people finding your private link networks, but always keep a few rules in mind to avoid footprints.

Ready to Build Your Own PIN? Here’s My Advice

If you see the benefits of utilising a PIN for your own search engine rankings, and actually getting more than rankings in return, then here’s my advice for setting one up.

A PIN Must Have a Leader

As I mentioned earlier, I didn’t want to write about this topic until I had attempted to do it myself.

My short but relevant experience tells me that there has to be one person (or two at most) who is in control of the group you gather together to make sure that everyone in the team is pulling their weight.

In other words, you need to make sure that the people who are receiving links are doing their part in giving them as well.

The leader must also make sure that members of the team are active. It’s no use everyone playing along for the first few weeks while the idea is hot and then dropping off the map.

Bringing Together Your Team

While some of you may be excited about getting started on this – and some horrified that I’m even talking about it – there’s one important caveat to keep in mind.

Do not bring anyone into your team who has never shown any self-drive in terms of search engine optimisation.

If someone:

Doesn’t already have a website they wish to rank

Doesn’t regularly produce content for their own sites or others

Doesn’t have at least a basic knowledge of SEO fundamentals

Don’t invite them to be part of your network.

I assumed this would be the case from the start of building my own, but I’m even more sure of it after trying to get other people excited about the idea who weren’t actually willing to contribute to the rest of the teams’ success as a whole.

A simple test to see if someone would be right to join your network is to send a candidate over to this article and have them read about this concept for themselves.

If they don’t immediately “get” the idea and they don’t reply with something like “I can see this working well” then it’s not someone you want on your team.

You shouldn’t have to convince anyone to work with you. They should see it for themselves. If they’re against it because of ethical reasons, then that’s totally fine (and understandable) but again, it’s a sure sign that they’re not someone you want in your team.

As far as communication goes, there are a few platforms out there that would be useful.

You could create a Skype group where people get together. I certainly recommend that everyone get on a call together at least some point to make sure you all understand each other’s roles.

Slack is another good option, as you can keep up to date via their mobile app and have a history of previous agreements.

A private Facebook group is another good option.

Both Slack and Facebook allow there to be a leader who can add or remove members to the network.

The platform is really up to you. My only recommendation is not to lay out all your plans in Google Docs ;).

Take One Step Back from Your Current Niche

It should be obvious but I’ll state it anyway: You don’t want to work with people who are targeting the same keywords as you.

However, you still want to connect with people who are in a relevant niche (I’ll give you the chance to connect with ViperChill readers at the bottom of this post). For instance, if you’re promoting your real estate website then it makes sense to team up with other realtors, just not for the same region.

If you’re in the weight loss niche then it makes sense to collaborate and grow your audience with other people in that niche, but target different keywords and / or promote different types of products and services.

Whatever niche you’re in, imagine you’re shopping for that specific industry on Amazon but go back one category to find people to work with. Again, I’ll give you the opportunity to find PIN partners at the end of this article.

Footprints are Hard to Find, But Still Be Careful

From the PIN’s I’ve discovered and the ones I’m working on myself, I’ve found you really don’t have to be too careful when it comes to leaving some kind of footprint. After all, it doesn’t ring any alarm bells when Copyblogger keeps mentioning Problogger or Mashable keep linking to TechCrunch. It’s “natural” and something you can expect from the owners of websites who have developed friendships with each other.

Where you have to be careful is primarily with private blog networks and not creating footprints of clearly linking back and forth to each other from the same sites at all times. Of course, you don’t have to use private networks, but remember for each link you give out, you can get three to four back, so it can dramatically speed up the process of ranking your site.

You Need to Know How the Microphone Works

And how to sing.

One of my favourite authors, Daniel Priestley, said the following in his book The Key Person of Influence;

You don’t need to know how the microphone works, you need to know how to sing.

He was referring to the technology behind the microphone and how, when it was first invented, your time would have been better spent learning how to sing than how a microphone worked, if you wanted to reach a lot of people.

When it comes to ranking in Google, I don’t think that’s the case. You need to know how the microphone works and how to sing.

There are going to be people who worry I’m encouraging armies of people to come together to take over the Google search results.

The truth is that I don’t believe people who can’t sing – in this case, can’t produce great results for search engine users – will have much long-term success.

There’s no point putting all of the work into your PIN if the end result is going to be a crappy website.

The third example of a PIN that I mentioned earlier now easily does in excess of over $100,000 per month. What I didn’t yet tell you is that they built a fantastic resource for their industry. The site doesn’t have many pages (less than 50), but each one genuinely solves a question that a particular searcher is looking for an answer to.

I don’t view utilising a PIN as a way to “sneak” up the Google results and send thousands of visitors to an ad-riddled website.

Instead, I see it as a way to help you start getting great content noticed that could attract natural links once it is.

I mentioned at the start of this article that I would likely weed out some of the audience of ViperChill. I want to make it clear though that I’m not trying to help people with shitty websites rise to the top of Google.

While I believe there is a great opportunity here, it isn’t easy. Turning the concept into reality sounds much easier on paper (or in a blog post).

The truth is that when it comes to making money online, most people are, quite simply…lazy.

They may be excited about this idea for a few weeks but if you’re going to use this to rank in an industry worth ranking for, you should be aiming for keywords that take a few months to get any serious traction for.

Links Aside, The Connections You Build Can Be Invaluable

I’ve already briefly talked about the other benefits this kind of network can have, besides link building.

You can connect with people who have a genuine passion for your industry who in turn spur you on to put more work into your site and help you improve your online ventures. Whether that’s giving advice on your design, your writing, your strategy or anything else.

Working online can seem lonely at times, especially if your offline friends don’t have an inkling to do anything online. When you’re aiming to make money from your web projects it’s nice to find other people on the same journey.

In my future of blogging post a few years ago, one of the most popular on the site, I mentioned how some bloggers had worked together to help grow their respective audiences in the same industry.

TechCrunch and Mashable grew incredibly quickly at the same time while investors were putting more and more of their money into web-based projects. They mentioned each other thousands of times.

Smaller operations – though still huge – like Copyblogger and Problogger would guest post on each others’ sites, promote each other’s products, send traffic to each other via their email lists and essentially enhanced both of their own images through their connection.

I took the time to actually figure out how many times some sites mentioned each other, which you can see in the graphic below.

While links were a key factor in all of these partnerships, I wouldn’t essentially class them as private link building. Most of the links didn’t include any specific anchor text and they weren’t to random affiliate sites or anything like that. All of them were trying to build authoritative online businesses and found someone with a similar passion on the same journey.

While TechCrunch and Mashable were almost in direct competition with each other, they still highlighted the stories that the other site got to first. Michael Arrington later sold TechCrunch to AOL for $25m. Pete Cashmore is still the CEO of Mashable though according to Politico.com, is trying to sell the site for around $300-$350m.

That’s a partnership that certainly paid off for both of them. Pete holding out six years on his sale seems to have been a smarter choice, however.

A Facebook Group to Find PIN Partners

For what is probably a very limited time only, I’m giving access to a private Facebook group where people can assemble together to potentially build their own Private Influencer Network.

I don’t want the comments here to be full of pitching opportunities, so let’s take this elsewhere to see what industries you’re working with. To be approved for the group you must leave a comment here with your Facebook name or put your Facebook initials at the end of a comment. Facebook will likely recommend the group to people who have no idea what PIN’s are and I don’t want to do a lot of moderating.

Don’t reveal your exact niche when you start a discussion, just simply zoom out of your niche and reveal a higher category that you would like to work in. You can find the group here (remember to comment to be approved).

Thank you, as always, for reading.

Send Me Exclusive Tips

Enjoy this post? Please leave a comment below…

Comments are my number one indicator as to which posts people enjoyed the most, so your feedback really does help me. If you have any questions, feel free to ask those as well…

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Where Do I Find A Condo’s Square Footage?

TorontoRealtyBlog

This makes a great follow-up to Wednesday’s blog post, “Random Thoughts About Square Footage.”

There was a lot of conversation in the comments about how to calculate square footage, what standards to use, how developers make the calculations, what the difference between buildable and useable square footage is, and so on.

For a would-be condo buyer, this could be quite co0=\fusing.

But in my mind, it’s more than confusing; it’s downright scary.

When you consider that we pay for condos based on the square footage, not knowing the square footage, is a scary proposition.

Imagine if this were the case with other goods and services?  Imagine if you had to purchase a bar of gold without weighing it?  At $1,300 per ounce, wouldn’t you want to know if that bar weighted eight pounds or nine pounds?

To think that we value real estate based on a standard that we have no idea how to calculate is absolutely scary.

And as a reader pointed out on Wednesday, organized real estate is doing nothing to help:

Well isn’t that great.

This reeks of, “We’re afraid of failing, so we just won’t try.”

Or the classic Ned Flanders line, “We’ve tried nothing, and we’re all out of ideas!”

I understand the argument that you don’t want to provide a platform for constant litigation, but not looking for a solution is a cop-out.

The idea that publishing square footage is not made mandatory, I understand from a potential litigation perspective.  But to basically ban agents from publishing square footage?  That’s pathetic.

What’s next?  What about a bedroom that might not be deemed a bedroom by all, because it doesn’t have a window, or a closet, or a door.  Why not ban agents from specifying how many bedrooms there are?

As an industry, we have to do better than this.  We have to raise our standards, and provide the consumer with better, more complete, and more accurate data so that they can make an informed purchase decision.

I have long maintained that TREB should make square footage mandatory, and the simple way to do that would be to get together with MPAC and work out a deal so that we have access to the square footage reports.

For those of you that don’t know (and this includes many Realtors…) MPAC has a slew of real estate related products available, customized to each property.  And by “each property” I mean every property, since MPAC is linked to every single listing on MLS, current or past, and has an easy-to-use interface for those properties not appearing on MLS.

For example, I just looked up a newly-listed condo, and if you click “Store,” you see the following:

Right there, you’ve got twelve products that you may, or may not, find helpful with respect to your property search, comparative market analysis, or upcoming listing.

These are tools that Realtors have at their disposal for every property out there, be it house or condo, and these are far from cost prohibitive.  Then again, if agents balk at paying $400 for a fantastic photographer to help advertise their $600,000 condo listing, then maybe $6.00 for a building permit report is a bit steep.

But the one product that every Realtor should be familiar with is this one:

The Residential Floor Area Report contains a square footage amount, on which MPAC presumably bases taxation.

This square footage, again – presumably, would be from a source deemed accurate, likely from the builder.

Having purchased about a thousand of these reports over the years, I can personally attest to the fact that they almost always match any available floor plan.

So it is my contention that the Toronto Real Estate Board should, at the earliest possible opportunity, make the inclusion of an MPAC Residential Floor Area Report mandatory for all condominium listings, and failure to provide the square footage and/or the document shall result in an error message when one tries to submit the listing to MLS.  That’s the case when you don’t fill in the taxes; you can’t submit the listing.  Same goes for any mandatory field – you get an error message in RED.  Of course, you can put “$0” for taxes, but that’s not the point.

The point is, if we, as sales professionals, want to do our job effectively and to our fullest capability, we will find a way to provide consumers with this information.

So where does a person find square footage for a condo, in lieu of an MLS listing?

Here are the most effective ways:

1) MPAC

As described above, this is an option available to Realtors for $5.00 per property, and I believe the public can open an account and gain access as well.

2) ONLINE FLOOR PLANS

As a client once asked me, “How is your Google-Fu?”

If you’re willing to put the time and effort into it, you can probably find any floor plan from a condo in the past ten years.  You just need patience.

I have complied a massive database of floor plans on my laptop, for thousands of units in hundreds of buildings.  Every time I see a new floor plan, whether it’s attached to an MLS listing, or even a soft copy at a condo I’m visiting, I file it away.

There are a lot of real estate agent websites out there that have floor plans for newer buildings.  I don’t feel like plugging those agents here and now, but let’s just say they’re easy to find.

There are also a lot of websites that have the word “floor plan” in the body of a web-page, whether visible or hidden, and that means that hundreds of clickable search results on Google will return zero actual useful information.

A colleague of mine at Property.ca told me once that his goal was to accumulate the floor plan for every single unit in the city of Toronto.  Quite the endeavour!  Condos.ca was, and still is, and industry leader in Toronto condominium data, but a database of floor plans would be something else altogether.  I told him that I would gladly pay an annual fee for access to a database, as would many agents, I’m sure.  Then again, most agents won’t pay $5 for the floor plan from MPAC for a property they’re listing, and being paid $10K, $15K, $20K or more to sell, so perhaps my suggesting that floor plan database subscriptions would go through the roof is wishful thinking.

3) PAST LISTINGS

In many condos, the square footage for Unit #1101 is the same as Unit #1201, and the same as Unit #1301, and so on.

Again, with some time and effort, this is an easy search through the archives of MLS.

Because most agents don’t include the actual square footage in listings (I would estimate less than 20% of historical listings have an actual square footage), this endeavour can be painstaking, but it often bears fruit.

When I’m doing a Comparative Market Analysis for a condo, I’ll include the exact square footage for every comparable unit.  When I see other agents give a “range,” like 500-599, I laugh.  Imagine that gold bar, weighing somewhere between 8 and 9 pounds, and being expected to pay $1,300 per ounce.

To find the square footage of every unit, the first place I go is to the MLS archives.  First, I look up the history of that unit, and if the building is old enough and the unit has been sold before, I might find it.  Then, I’ll go to the archives for all the units with that model number, and 95% of the time, I’ll find the square footage.  Of course, I have a rule that I need triple-confirmation, otherwise it doesn’t fly.  If 1201, 1301, and 1401 are all said to be 542 square feet via past MLS listings, then we’re good.

4) MAINTENANCE FEE MATH

This is a very inexact science, but it can get you anywhere from 90% to 100% accuracy.

In virtually every building in the downtown core, maintenance fees are apportioned by square footage.

So if you can solve for “X,” you can figure out the fees.

Keep in mind that basic maintenance fees, per unit, do not include a locker or a parking space.  Those are separate, and are lumped in with the overall fees on MLS.

So if Unit #1201, with parking and locker, has fees of $451.87, and is measured at 652 square feet as per MPAC, floor plan, or other source, then you know the fees are 69.3 cents per square foot.  And you’re looking at Unit #2707, which also has parking and locker, and shows as having fees of $655.52 on MLS.  Get your friend from NASA to work this complicated mathematical dilemma, and voila – the unit is approximately 946 square feet.

Just remember, you need to compare apples to apples.  So if you’re looking at a unit with locker, and no parking, then you need the square footage of another condo with locker, and no parking.  And, since we know maintenance fees usually increase one out of every two years on average, then you need a comparable sale that’s very recent.

5) PROPERTY MANAGEMENT

Are you good on the phone?

Suave, charismatic, and convincing?

Property management has the square footage for every condo in the building, so why not call them up and just ask?

They don’t have to give it to you, of course.  And human nature is to question a person’s agenda and integrity.  Just say, “I’m looking at buying Unit #XXX that’s currently listed for sale, and there’s no square footage on the listing.  It just says 900-999, and I’m trying to figure out the exact square footage.”  Maybe give them my “bar of gold” anecdote, and the person on the other end of the line will see the logic, and respond in kind.

Now this might not work if you needed the square footage of sixteen units for a CMA that you’re doing, but if you’re just a prospective buyer looking for one unit’s square footage, I see no reason why the property manager wouldn’t help.

–

I’m not a “car guy,” but I’ll give this analogy a shot.

There are different types of engines, right?  V6 and V8?  I’m assuming that the difference between those two is about……..V2, or something?

Right.  Okay.  So there’s also litres, horsepower, and torque, and I won’t even guess at things like HEMI and turbochargers.  I just hear the words on television ads.

So if you’re a car-buyer, do you want to know the size of the engine?  Does the engine in a Lexus IS 250 differ from that of a Lexus ES 350?  If so, would you want to know, or just guess?

What if the windows on the car were tinted, and you couldn’t see inside?  What if you had to guess whether the seats were leather or cloth?  What if you didn’t know whether there was a navigation system in place?

The fact that we as Realtors are not required to provide exact square footage is mind-boggling, and I’m downright embarrassed as an agent.  Considering the “price per square foot” metric is the most commonly-used evaluator of condominiums, it’s puzzling as to why we haven’t made this mandatory as of yet.

Fear is not the best motivator.  If the folks at TREB are afraid of being sued, then use those same lawyers who say, “There’s no upside to this, just leave square footage out,” to draft some legalese that covers themselves, and agents if need be, in the event of a discrepancy.

We could avoid all of this if TREB just used some of their accumulated war-chest (from their Competition Bureau fight…) to work out a deal with MPAC, but I didn’t intend to turn this blog post into a TREB-bashing, so I’m going to stop here.

One final thought about square footage sources, for both buyers and sellers: what’s the deal with virtual tours?

If you’re using a virtual tour’s floor plan on a listing for the square footage source, should you get further verification?

Does the virtual tour usually end up higher or lower than MPAC?  That’s tough to say.  I’ve seen it both ways, to be honest.

And that begs the question: what source do I use when I have two different numbers?

Truthfully, folks, I leave that up to the seller.  If MPAC says the unit is 635 square feet, but the floor plan shows 646, I will ask the seller what they want to use.  It’s up to them, and that’s not me passing the buck; it’s me giving my client options as to how they want their condo marketed.  I would suggest they use MPAC, but MPAC has been wrong before, and I’ve seen first-hand instances of MPAC being lower than an in-hand floor plan from my seller, albeit maybe 2-3 times, but it’s happened.

I’m not God, and I’m not the authority on this.  I leave this decision to my sellers, and I would advise all listing agents to do the same.

As a buyer, if you see square footage on a virtual tour floor plan, I can tell you that in my experience, it’s lower than the MPAC square footage about 70% of the time.

But then again, two sources are always better than one, so when in doubt, just go for a deeper dive!

Have a great weekend, everybody!

The post Where Do I Find A Condo’s Square Footage? appeared first on Toronto Realty Blog.

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