#cannot say the same for tiny ody though

[missdarhk]

GUESS WHOS FINALLY WRITING AGAIN GUESS WHO GUESS WHO

[systemrebooted-blog]

Gushaini

Writing about a trip almost a year ago seems hard, but at the same time comes easily to me. Maybe the physical details are a bit hazy, but the emotional impact of another place always remains. I remember the long hours of sitting on peoples’ laps because I was the smallest, being chucked into the seat furthest back where I sat in silence while the other five sang along to Bollywood music and classic rock songs alike. The most important thing about this trip were the people I was travelling with. They were very different from me, hell, the only thing I had in common with them was playing poker. They were all obsessed with politics and power, about being right and being superior. And then there was me, all I wanted to do was get lost in the forest we saw everywhere we looked and hopefully never go back to anything I ever recognized. I will not write about what I did in those few days I was out of the city, but I would like to put down what all I felt and in turn learnt through this trip. Starting with tolerance, I think I successfully learnt how to deal with differences which arise due to extremely polar views. I feel strongly about equality in general, among humans, animals, anything at all. I don’t like injustice and I cannot stand the idea of purposefully crushing someones efforts to get ahead of them, or even degrading someone for them, which is something this group of people did. Intentionally or unintentionally, I wouldn’t know. I remember one night, we all got extremely drunk, and I had an argument over a very sexist comment made by one of them. I literally had tears in my eyes because I could not tolerate such disrespect from someone I knew, or anyone at all for that matter. I walked out with rage escaping from every pore of my body and sat outside in the cool air with a joint. I remember, the most sensible one of them came and sat with me. He explained to me, with so much love, that not all people are as compassionate. Not all people understand what others feel and not all are as sensible with their words and actions. I had to accept this fact about the world I was living in, and more importantly, learn to deal with every aspect of this. Even though staying calm caused every inch of my being to revolt and punch the person in question square in the face, I learnt how to control my emotions regarding something I couldn’t change.

Besides the learning, I would also like the put down the absolutely mind blowing moments from this trip. The small frames of time which allowed me to love life as much as one could, with the biggest smile I could physically manage. I remember sitting on the steps of the porch. It overlooked the tiny village we were staying in, and view was that of the mountains and the gazillion trees inhabiting them. Oh, the wonder. I remember imagining the number of animals through the large space, the millions of creatures just like us, a unit of life, but somehow put so low on the scale of importance of life. It was sad to think of it, but in that moment, I swear I felt just like them. I was just another unit of life, a waste or not, the future would determine. But just a small fucking unit of life nonetheless. I sat at nine in the morning, the first one awake, with a drink and a joint in my hand. Breakfast was served with these, and my diary was always ready to be used. Next to me sat little Odi, a black pup who belonged with the cottage we were staying at. This little brat was possibly the only unit of life i felt connected to in that place. Leaving him was hard, but I knew he’d remember me and i knew I would remember him. And I think as I left, I realized that the same would go for the place I was in. It was the magical hills, they would remember me, as I would keep them in mind everywhere I went, and sometimes, I think that’s enough to say goodbye to something you love.