#candela obscura is upon us

[math-rocks-and-lizard-bats]

Happy new years but more importantly happy Candela Obscura week! (Aka how is Aabria “bear battle map, paint me a word picture, what happens after 6 tokens, nun sex” Iyengar going to make me squeal and stay up when I have a morning class the next day)

[essektheylyss]

Candela Obscura is very fun in terms of horror, because I have never been particularly bothered by horror, but when I have been, I'm always like, is this because of how I react in particular or because of how effective the visuals or the atmosphere are? And that's kind of hard to differentiate in the genre people most often consume horror in (film) and for me, who reads books very visually, it can be hard in that format as well.

With Candela it's like, this is deeply unsettling despite there being no visuals beyond the general set and the action being dictated to me while mechanics are happening, which is something that can take absolutely you out of the atmosphere of the thing. Even if you're used to the actual play format, a mechanics heavy scene especially without notable GM guiding is going to remind you that you are watching people play a game. There's a lot to say about how this show's cast have phenomenal grasp of the genre and the atmosphere, but even then, it is a hard line to manage, and they are doing it masterfully. And that's what makes it so fun as a concept! Candela has very effective storytelling, but it's also a lot easier to see the edges of the story, because the "man behind the curtain" of the story so to speak is on full display.

Anyway, this is a long-winded way of saying that I really have confirmed I have no issue with horror, because I passed out instantly upon going to bed and then let a lab tech take my blood this morning without even thinking of making some eldritch monster joke. Which is, not gonna lie, a little bit wild to me.

[mi6-cafe]

It's Occult October!

Sp00qy season is upon us! This month we want you to make or rec fancreations that involve Bond characters and anything that’s uncanny, wyrd, monstrous, magical, or spooky. (Or, you know, anything that has to do with the characters celebrating Halloween or related holidays.)

Tag us in your recs and creations so we can reblog them. As always, all ships, gen fic, and genres are welcome! You can also add anything to our AO3 collection.

Sp00qy fanfic readalong

On October 31st at 9pm eastern, join us for a special night of reading spooqy fanfics on discord!

Fics are not limited to 00Q, but we do prefer shorter ones so we can read a lot for our special event. If you have stories you'd like to suggest, please add them to the list here.

Last Drabble Writer Standing has begun!

Each week, for four weeks, we will be sending out a specific prompt to our LDWS participants. Prompts include a topic or image, a word count, and sometimes a genre or an extra challenge! Each writer creates a drabble inspired by the same prompt, and then those drabbles are posted anonymously and voted on/given feedback by amazing readers! 

In addition to the weekly rankings throughout October, there will be one final drabble writer at the end who has the top number of votes overall--the Last Drabble Writer Standing! Also, the long fic readalong crew is reading the drabbles every Saturday night and see discord for other offers for similar in other timezones.

The first week has concluded, but check #LDWS 2024 for round two coming out on Saturday!

Saturday Cafe: October 5 and October 19

Come join us in the fandom Slack as we write, draw, sprint, plot, brainstorm, cheerlead, and generally have a good time trying to get things done together. If you’d like an invite to the Slack, go ahead and message @castillon02 or @spiritofcamelot!

Bond Book Readalong, Saturdays at 9pm ET

The longfic readalong crew is taking a break from fanfic to go back to the source material. We will be taking a couple months to read Diamonds are Forever. This is a proper detective novel full of diamond smuggling, Felix Leiter, and a really over-the-top bad guy. Not to mention our latest Bond girl: Tiffany Case.

We will provide a digital version of the text for you to follow along, but we also recommend seeing if your local library has a copy. We’d love to see you there. You are welcome to listen if you don’t or can’t read aloud!    

When: Saturdays at 9pm eastern/6pm Pacific.

Where: We’ll be reading on discord in the readalongs channel. (Invite to discord here)

Please join us to read or just hang out.

Other social events

We have loved all the movies, game nights, even TTRPGs that happened during Fest this year and we hope to see more of them throughout the year!

In October, Linorien will be hosting watch parties for Candela Obscura - Needle and Thread. This is a horror-themed mini Critical Role campaign. Please check the watch party calendar linked below for the times and join us in discord.

This month especially, we will happily promote other watch party events of spooky movies or whatever else you would like to organize.

Weekly events:

WIP Wednesday: You can post an excerpt of your WIP on our post or make your own post and mention the @mi6-cafe. Either way it’s a fun way to show people what you’re working on, Bond fandom or otherwise.

Weekly Bond movies: Hosted by womble every Sunday at 8am Pacific time, join us in Discord to watch one of the Bond movies. Keep an eye on the watch party calendar linked below for updates.

Want to host your own event in the Discord or elsewhere? Let us know about it so we can add it to the calendars!

Calendars

Watch Party Calendar MI6 Cafe Calendar   If you need help adding these calendars to your personal one, check out this post.

[grayintogreen]

Pinned Post II: Electric Boogaloo

Hi, I'm Chris! I'm updating my pinned post to be more streamlined so here we go.

I liveblog Critical Role every week and tag with "cr spoilers" up until Monday. This tag also gets used for Candela Obscura and any one-shots. Dimension 20 spoilers are labeled “d20 spoilers.”

This is primarily a Critical Role and Dimension 20 blog, but I contain multitudes. You will see a lot of random shit depending on my mood. I’m really into Hazbin Hotel right now, for example, so my blog is kinda inundated in that. Honestly I might as well admit I am also a Hazbin blog at this point. Sorry, women.

I write a lot of fic, which can be found on my AO3 here. I primarily write fic centered on minor/supporting characters. I'm also the author of the life in the margins of redemption and red roses and dead things series- more about these below.

I have a ko-fi if you'd like to give me a tip for any reason.

I am the assistant manager of a convenience store that is part of a large retail chain and if you tell me that you shop there because “Wal-Mart is crooked” I’ll kill you. Mine is worse.

My two big series are as follows:

red roses and dead things (or Roseverse), a canon divergent Hazbin Hotel (goes AU after 1x06) series that deals with working on continuing the story while I wait for new material. It is lore-heavy, Team as Family, and redemption-focused with focus on Huskerdust, Alastor and his deal, Lucifer and his relationship to Heaven and Hell and his family, and Charlie continuing to pursue her dreams. Also contains significant amounts of Helluva Boss because we’re not beholden to copyright here.

life in the margins of redemption (or LitMoR), a For Want of a Nail CR2 Canon Divergent series, is a duology (with additional side stories) that takes the alternate path outlined in the Harvest's Close session notes- Cree rescuing the Nein from the Gentleman's wrath should they betray him- and takes it a step further with Cree reviving Molly on the Glory Run Road and traveling with the Nein in the hopes of finding a way to bring Lucien back. It is extremely Canon Divergent, but does feature CR2 plots under radically different circumstances and with additional characters. It's worldbuilding heavy, character-driven, often dark, but has a guaranteed happy ending. You may heard of it as "that 1.5 million word fanfic series."

It is not canon compliant with TNEOL as I had finished OUADYA before TNEOL came out. While I use some elements from the novel, the backstory presented for Lucien and the Tombtakers in the series is entirely different.

More details, including links to the fics, beneath the cut.

THE MAIN STORIES.

Note that while the series features Fjorester, Beauyasha, and Widomauk as primary ships, it is above all a gen fic that focuses on the platonic relationships even more than the romantic ones. I cannot in good faith rec this fic to you if you HATE any of those ships, but I can say if you're indifferent/just want a plot and platonic relationship focus, this fic will appeal to you.

once upon a damn-you-all. Cree saves Molly on the Glory Run Road, sending the Nein's trajectory off the rails in a story about redemption, change, fate, and team-building. Also Molly having to contend with the Somnovem.

you can't deny high noon. The Nein continue their journey with an additional member- a reluctant, captive Lucien- as they continue to face numerous challenges while enemies lurk in the background. While OUADYA is mostly original plotlines, this fic follows the majority of the major plot beats of canon albeit a bit twisted around and out of order.

THE SIDE STORIES

While not necessary to read in order to understand the main duology, I feel like not reading them causes a loss of impact, as often events/characters from them are referenced in the main narrative and having more perspective on the events adds more oomph. This is an extremely detail-oriented series and barely anything goes in without some thought put into it. For the sake of not overwhelming my audience, I'm only listing the side stories I think are actually important to the overall narrative, but please do read the others if you have the time.

there's something divine in the way screams can sound. The events of OUADYA as seen through the eyes of someone trapped in the Astral Sea- or Lucien's utter breakdown, now with context. Introduces several backstory elements that become super relevant in YCDHN.

as in the painted parlor, ophelia dreams. The story of how Ophelia came to the Run, became a Mardoon, and gave up her son.

all of the dreamers defying convention. A fic that takes place in the two month gap between the two duology stories and bridges the two narratives.

OTHER LINKS

original character guide. A guide to the many original characters featured in the series.

[queerpg]

Join us tonight at 7pm EST for the next chapter of the Circle of the Broken Cage!

[audiofictionuk]

New Fiction Podcasts - 14th May

Eart(h) FM Audio Drama Solarpunk sci-fi pilot: It is the year 2072, the poles have melted and humanity has taken for the stars, except for Miriam Ortiz. To cope with being the only human on earth, they’ve decided to create a Radio Show where they broadcast music from various times and places of the world. One day someone finally calls to the radio station ecologist, Xochitl Fuentes, living on the skirt of the Iztaccihuatl bearing news that the earth is healing. Together they embark on a quest for other humans that still live on planet earth, finding various communities and people, and begin to help the earth one day heal. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240428-02 RSS: https://pinecast.com/feed/earth-fm

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Twisted Fates Audio RPG Welcome to "Twisted Fates" - your go-to channel for tabletop RPG adventures! Delve into a world where the unexpected reigns supreme, and every decision carries the weight of destiny. Embark with us on thrilling journeys through lesser-known gems like Candela Obscura, where darkness holds sway and secrets lurk in every shadow. Traverse the treacherous landscapes of The Walking Dead RPG, where survival is not guaranteed in a post-apocalyptic world overrun by the undead and face extraterrestrial terror in Alien RPG. Experience the enchanting quests of The One Ring and many more thrilling TTRPG adventures. With in-depth reviews and gameplay highlights, "Twisted Fates" is your gateway to thrilling indie TTRPGs. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240428-03 RSS: https://media.rss.com/twistedfates/feed.xml

A2Z Audio Drama Aileen is a sparky and curious little Artificial Intelligence who needs your help. Her inventor Zzzucks struggles to relate to people and is always getting into sticky situations—like the time he tried to make cheesplosions even cheesier. The A2Z podcast takes you along on their wild adventures with annoying robots, jello mountains, semi-intelligent lawnmowers and more. Will you help Aileen to help Zzzucks be less anxious and happier in his own skin, and help her learn what makes humans human? You might even pick up some tips and tricks for being kind to yourself in the process! https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240418-09 RSS: https://feeds.megaphone.fm/a2z

Legends of Avantris Audio RPG Seven chuckleheads goofing off, telling stories, and laughing way too loud, usually while playing D&D. This podcast features our stories that all take place in the interconnected world of Avantris. Even if you know nothing about tabletop games, we think you’ll enjoy the improv, comedy, narrative, voice acting, drama, and friendship along the way. Our Curse of Strahdanya campaign lives in its own podcast, but here is where you can find everything else from our nearly six years of telling stories, including Once Upon a Witchlight! https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240501-02 RSS: https://feed.podbean.com/legendsofavantris/feed.xml

Both Ears Audio Drama Welcome to Both Ears! Get ready for an immersive experience that transcends the boundaries of traditional storytelling. Dive into a world where fiction comes alive through meticulously crafted narratives that are enriched with captivating voice acting and dimensional sound effects. Tune in and engage both ears for an auditory adventure that promises to transport you to a realm of imagination beyond the reach of sight alone. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240501-03 RSS: https://anchor.fm/s/7bff4814/podcast/rss

Moonburn Audio Drama When Lucas moves into his new NYC boarding home, he discovers decades-old diary cassette tapes left behind by the room’s first occupant, Carter. The tapes tragically foreshadow Carter’s death one year from the first recording, but they also lay out a beautiful path forward for those that come after him. With the heartfelt stories and invaluable advice contained within these tapes, Lucas embarks on his journey— through the trials and tribulations of life in a new city, accepting himself, creating lifelong friendships, falling in love, and even uncovering a few more mysteries about his new home. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240501-04 RSS: https://anchor.fm/s/f557623c/podcast/rss

Rust Belt Bleeds Audio RPG Rust Belt Bleeds is a Vampire: the Masquerade live play set in the American Midwest. It follows multiple stories across multiple states thorough the World of Darkness. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240501-05 RSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/rust-belt-bleeds

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The Star Driven Expulsion of Count Lastname Audio Drama IN WHICH THE SUN HATCHES IN HOLY MATRIMONY OF THE END. AND A GRIFTER WAKES UP IN A VEGAS CASINO. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240430-02 RSS: https://media.rss.com/countlastname/feed.xml

Ghostly encounters. Audio Book A lonely traveler makes a shocking discovery! https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240424-02 RSS: https://anchor.fm/s/f3df5b58/podcast/rss

Golden Squad Audio RPG Golden Squad is a monthly tabletop RPG using Mutants and Masterminds 3rd Ed. It is hosted by Luke and features some people he likes to call friends. The custom game setting is straight out of Luke's head so it can get bonkers but generally, usually, sometimes, we end up with a fun time. Kept family friendly by a team of highly trained birds. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240426-04 RSS: https://anchor.fm/s/f4c355d8/podcast/rss

Aahat Suno Podcast Audio Book The cult horror show is back in a new avatar. Aahat Suno is a Podcast by the Podcast Division of Sony Pictures Network India, which brings to you an anthology of short stories. Stories which bring out the primal fear of being alone. These stories feature strong and independent women who take a step beyond their primal fears to emerge victorious or other wise? https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240417-06 RSS: https://www.omnycontent.com/d/playlist/79201871-42bf-47b7-ab14-b07700c7951d/f365dc51-df9f-4cbe-a161-b15400d2f222/4fab651b-7112-44c5-839d-b15400d9a2ce/podcast.rss

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En Fantasy-Stund Audio Book Läser in Fantasy verk från Svenska författare! Vill du jag ska läsa nåt du skrivit? https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240502-01 RSS: https://media.rss.com/enfantasystund/feed.xml

Felhaven Audio RPG A magical lord, a blind industrialist, and a ghost try to solve a murder while navigating the vicious politics of a Victorian city controlled by factions of supernatural creatures. Dive back into the Dragon Knights Universe with an Urban Shadows actual play TTRPG podcast from the producers of the award winning Thornvale. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240503-01 RSS: https://anchor.fm/s/f5575f1c/podcast/rss

The Small & Mighty Audio RPG A Rodent RPG Podcast. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240410-05 RSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/small-and-mighty

Dead Space: Deep Cover Audio Drama Set in the expansive universe of the Dead Space games - Emmeline Ayuba is a journalist looking for her sister. After last hearing reports of her sister joining the local Unitologist's church on Ganymede, Ayuba follows in her footsteps. For the first time, see the inner workings of a Unitologist church, the internal conflicts, strange customs, and the steep price Ayuba must pay to see her sister. Created in partnership with EA and Motive Studio. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240504-01 RSS: https://feeds.megaphone.fm/dead-space

Whispers in Wregate Audio RPG The city lost to Limbo is finally starting to feel normal again, untill a mysterious artifact in a company vault sends the party on a quest to change their fate, or die trying. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240401-06 RSS: https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/2352775.rss

Vampire : La Mascarade - Las Vegas by Night Audio RPG Bienvenue sur la chaîne de la Cour des Miracles pour cet actual play de notre campagne maison du jeu de rôle Vampire : La Mascarade - Las Vegas by Night ! Las Vegas, Sin City. 1 million et demi d'habitants, 40 millions de visiteurs par an. Deux fois plus de criminalité que la moyenne du reste des États-Unis. Rien d'étonnant quand on sait que l'histoire de la ville est intimement liée à la pègre. Jeux d'argent, prostitution, drogue, violence. La dépravation 24h sur 24. Bienvenue dans la ville qui ne dort jamais. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240413-04 RSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/vampire-la-mascarade-las-vegas-by-night

The Dreadcore Audio Book The Dreadcore is a serial audiobook narrated by Alexander C. Stewart and written by Aran Voss, with audio production by Christopher Howat. Set within our solar system in a future where a tyrannical theocracy known as the Threskeian Order has taken control of all populated worlds, The Dreadcore follows the exploits of the criminal crew of the Xiphos. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240503-02 RSS: https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/2264919.rss

The Mystic Syndicate Podcast Audio RPG We are a live roleplay gaming podcast. We play Dungeons & Dragons, Call of Cthulhu, and other RPG’s. Join us every two weeks for more game play and shenanigans. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240504-02 RSS: https://feed.podbean.com/tmsyndicate/feed.xml

The GloryRole Audio RPG Take a trip to The GloryRole! A tabletop RPG actual play podcast where we play mini-campaigns in different systems, just to check them out and see what we like and don't like! We've got jokes that'll make you choke! We've got drama that'll make you wanna hug your momma! We've got... dice! https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240505-01 RSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/the-gloryrole

Swords Against Madness Audio RPG A Weird Fantasy Old-School Solo Role-Playing Game. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240505-02 RSS: https://swordsvmadness.stormheadproductions.ca/feed/podcast/

All about the Story Audio Drama A group of friends got together to produce a series of radio plays. We think you will like them (probably). We had great fun doing them and they will make you think as well as entertain you. A new one added every month. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240504-03 RSS: https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/2361268.rss

Svilland Saga Audio RPG Join us in this collaborative experience between Three Besties Production and our wonderful friends at HyperSpace Havoc. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240501-06 RSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/svilland-saga

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Well Turned Ankle Audio Book Hilarious short stories from the creator of `Me and my Pie`, `Make mine a crusty one!`, and the unforgetable ` My friend wants to marry a horse`. These short stories will make your ankles tingle and your toes curl. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240418-10 RSS: https://media.rss.com/wellturnedankle/feed.xml

The Voice of Adventure Audio Book The Voice of Adventure, or VOA, is a collection of stories written and voiced by Josiah Mauger. Each story explores adventures in creative fantasy worlds. Join me for each episode as we see what our minds can create. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240122-05 RSS: https://anchor.fm/s/f0cfefe0/podcast/rss

Shayad Is Baar Audio Book Shayad Is Baar is a Hindi Fiction podcast, hosted by actor, Rajeev Siddhartha where he narrates a series of stories in first-person about finding love, losing love, learning life lessons and cherishing serendipitous moments. This podcast is an anthology of stories written by Ankana Joshi. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240425-03 RSS: https://www.omnycontent.com/d/playlist/79201871-42bf-47b7-ab14-b07700c7951d/dc7e4838-108b-47b8-b817-b15b00a7f634/c4828aad-5009-419a-82c0-b15b00a978d1/podcast.rss

Someone Is Killing The Wolfhounds Audio Drama Based on a true story. A group of soldiers in Vietnam decide they need to murder their rogue lieutenant, if they're going to make it home alive. TRAINING DAY meets PLATOON. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240414-07 RSS: https://feeds.megaphone.fm/someoneiskillingthewolfhounds

Darkling Drake by Tawn Krakowski Audio Book With her no-nonsense attitude and potty-mouth, Toni Drake is the unlikeliest of heroines. A loner with a knack for blending in and being nearly invisible to others even when standing right next to them. She turned this natural ability to her advantage by becoming a professional thief, but those talents, and her recent dreams, might be a sign that there is more to Toni than she ever thought possible. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240327-06 RSS: https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/2121605.rss

Solara by Wendy Herman Audio Book Solara has never understood people. These days, she’s in a constant state of frustration and contempt for her life and most of those around her. Only her children, and her bubbly bestie, Betty, bring her joy, give her hope for the future. But she is beginning to question the path she is on and feeling like she’s barreling toward a brick wall. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240506-01 RSS: https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/2362013.rss

[justalittlegoblin]

9 people you would like to get to know better

thank you kindly @brennanleemulligans for tagging you are doing the good work (giving us many brennans to gaze upon)

1) 3 ships: among many others --- collerty, dorym, stucky (yeah i'm back on my war guys bullshit 😔)

2) first ever ship: yeesh, the first i wrote was james/lily but i shant tell you the first ship i was actually obsessed with you can dig thru my ao3 yourself

3) last song: kiss me more by doja cat ft. sza from a certain dorym shuffle playlist

4) last movie: haven't watched a movie in a hot minute so i truly cannot recall, maybe barbie?

5) currently reading: .....@hauntedfalcon's next fic for candela obscura's bottom table throuple aka veterans affairs, what a treat

6) currently watching: recently started abc's interview with the vampire, which i dig

7) currently consuming: a poorly cobbled together soup from a meal service that forgot to send several ingredients to other recipes lmao

8) currently craving: ugh, a grilled cheese

no pressure tag moment where i wonder if i remember anyone's urls: @maybetwice @wrrms @sagechan @hauntedfalcon @teaweltzer @criticalcoruscant @cluelessheroes @stay-funky-ponyboy + @stabbystabbyvax2 you get a prize for being a real human who recently followed me amongst a legion of bots

[aeondeug]

the most fun "combat" i've experienced overall honestly isn't even shit where my character was of any fucking use. was my magician useful in the big action scene at the end of our candela obscura oneshot? fuck no. but it was more cinematic and narratively interesting to have her get her ass just absolutely wrecked by a tentacle and have to be saved from falling off the catwalks into THE ABYSS. because the focus wasn't on like where she was positioned or what spells i could use or initiative order or whatever, but instead upon the continued dramatic narration of what was going on followed by "what do you do?"

[goodlawdmaude]

Madrid, Spain

Day 1 (3/24)

After landing in Madrid, navigating our way to our AirBnB, and napping for two hours, Jarod and I were woken up around 1:30pm by a knock at the door. Our host had told us that a man named Ous would come to clean the apartment at 2pm. What she didn’t mention was that Ous--while incredibly nice--did not speak any English. In a mixture of Spanish and charades, we managed to agree that we would leave the apartment for an hour so that he could clean. 

In a daze, we piled on our layers (it’s cold in Madrid in March!!) and headed out. We walked through the Barrio (neighborhood) of La Lavapies and into La Latina, walking until we came to La Real Basílica de San Francisco el Grande. We sat in a plaza on the South side of the church, admiring the structure’s large, yellow dome and resting our very weary bones. From there, we wandered North past El Palacio Real de Madrid, through La Plaza de Oriente, and finally back through the center of Madrid to our apartment. 

Even though my body was dull with exhaustion, taxed heavily by the previous day/night, I was awestruck by the beautiful city streets and extravagant monuments. Everything was picturesque. There were balconies on every building with ferns growing in ornate pots and flower beds snuggled up against decorative railings. At crosswalks and through cafe windows, I saw people smoking cigarettes and sipping espressos; talking quickly, excitedly, rhythmically with wide eyes and exaggerated hand gestures. We were in a new place, and I was stoked to explore it!! 

By now, it was around 4:30pm, and we were hungry. We set off in search of a restaurant nearby and found two whose kitchens were closed. This was our first inconvenient encounter with ~siesta~. Even hungrier now, we found a market and bought tortellini and vegetables to cook back at the apartment. That night, we were in bed by 8:30. 

Day 2 (3/25)

Our first real (still surreal) morning in Madrid, we woke up at a reasonably early hour after an unreasonably excessive amount of sleep. We made eggs at home, then went to a nearby cafe recommended by our host, Maria. Again, it felt like there was culture everywhere. The people around us were dressed neatly in scarves and hats and boots (still freezing!), ordering pastries and warm drinks, dipping the former into the latter and eating them slowly and gracefully. Here, we each got two coffees and drank them quietly, soaking up the environment around us. I admit I was (I still am) a bit self conscious; I didn’t want to speak too much or too loudly in my ugly American accent and identify myself as an obnoxious outsider. 

At this cafe, we started to suspect that coffee in Spain is different than coffee in the US. In Spain, a coffee is served small in a cute little teacup on a saucer with a packet of sugar on the side. You can order a couple different variants--cafe solo (shot of espresso), cafe americano (still small), or cafe con leche (larger, but half milk)--but there is no order that will get you a giant mug of good old fashioned black coffee. (”Cafe negro” will get you the prompt: “Cafe Americano?” to which you will nod, confused and disappointed when you get a tiny teacup of slightly diluted espresso.) I digress. 

From the cafe, we headed to El Museo Del Prado, where we spent hours admiring--or more often puzzling over --thousands of paintings. My favorite was a small piece, entitled “The Painter’s Children,” which portrayed two young girls lounging on a futon, one wrapped in a pretty Japanese blanket, the other sprawled on a cushion. Jarod’s was a huge portrait of a Roman (??) leader dead in a bathtub--a suicide referenced as honorable in The Godfather. 

When we thought we might die of hunger, we tore ourselves from the Prado despite only seeing (maybe) half of the art on display. We wandered up the street and into a tapas restaurant. This was when we truly started embracing Spanish culture with a mid-day glass of wine and four sequential plates of tapas rich with meats, cheeses, and oil. This was also when I learned that a “Russian salad” does not contain lettuce, but lots of potatoes and mayonnaise. 

We went back to our apartment, took naps (Jarod) and studied the city (Lizzy). Still feeling full and generally out of sorts, we headed to the Santa Ana square//Barrio de Las Letras (the literary district, where the paving stones of the main street are engraved with some of the best known lines from 16th and 17th century Spanish literature). We got mixed drinks and a plate of tortillas and hummus at a hipster joint full of trendy young people, then proceeded to a lively gin bar called Carbones 13, where we each had a gin and tonic--the first that I have ever truly liked. 

We stopped at home briefly before rushing out to catch an authentic live flamenco performance at a bar on our corner, El Candela. We put our names down to reserve seats, then had half an hour to kill before the performance started. We spent that time in a lively, divey Bodega (wine bar) down the block. Our drinks were cheap (5€ for two) and came with a plate of potato chips. 

The performance itself was fabulous. There were only 4 people on stage and only one who danced. It was the first flamenco I’ve ever seen live, and I was struck by the drama of the production. The dancer’s heels banged loudly on the hollow stage floor, the tassels of her outfit swung wildly as she moved, and her face and hands were full of intense emotion. The crowd shouted “ole!” and the end of each piece--and sometimes during--to show their appreciation and admiration. (I didn’t know that was a real thing, but I loved it.)

After, we went home and stayed up a while longer, confused as to what time zone we were in. Suddenly, it seemed quite late--3 or 4am--but we were not exactly to be counted on to know the time. Little did we know, day lights savings had occurred that night; a phenomenon which would further confuse us in the morning. 

Day 3 (3/26)

We woke up around 10am, with 1pm lunch reservations at one of the oldest restaurants in the world quickly approaching. Jarod was a little hungover as we embarked towards Botín for our lunch date. He ordered shrimp, which came with the legs and heads still attached. Decapitating them was a task that hungover Jarod liked even less than spry Jarod would have. I ordered cod, which was smothered in a soup of delicious tomato sauce and was impractically humongous (I am notorious for clearing my plate and could only eat half). We drank half a pitcher of sangria--which may have been ambitious given the night before, but when on vacation...--and finished the meal up with a DIVINE chocolate mousse cake. The meal was tasty, but pricey (80€) and the restaurant itself was lovely, but packed with tourists (ourselves among them). It didn't turn out to be quite the cultural endeavor I had imagined, although we did see (what I imagine to be) some very traditional Spanish dishes, such as "baby squid, cooked in his own ink." Harsh.

After lunch, we went in search of Madrid's famous flea market: El Rastro. I had the driving interest in El Rastro, but had done a poor job of researching the actual location (I knew it was in La Latina from 10am-3pm... And not much else). In our search for the market, we stumbled upon a giant amphitheater type hole in the ground, covered in weeds and graffiti and tattooed young people. There were two guys playing live music, the speaker too weak to allow us to hear them from the entrance ramp on which we stood. It was a little silly, but I felt alive being there, like I was seeing an authentic, grimy part of modern life in Madrid.

With Jarod's guidance, we finally found El Rastro as it was closing down. We walked through the stalls of leathers, rugs, fans, and clothing, admiring everything but avoiding wanting anything (I could hardly order coffee for myself let alone haggle with a street vendor). At the end of the road, we found ourselves at an old tobacco factory, La Tabacaleria, that had long ago shut down and repurposed as an art gallery. Atlas Obscura had called this out as one of the hidden gems worth seeing in Madrid, and there was no entry fee, so we headed in.

The art exhibit was eerie--one piece was a TV hung from the rafters and entwined in a chain, broadcasting silent black and white footage--fitting for the cold and dark hallways of La Tabacaleria. There were lots of other videos in Spanish (which we didn't watch), but also some cool images of Mayan ruins (which interested me more).

When we finally got back home, we siesta'd--as is the Spanish way--and woke up some time later, ready to get our first real exercise in. We went to the Parque Del Buen Retiro, and ran around its perimeter, then walked through the interior, stopping to admire the Palacio De Velazquez, Palacio De Crystal, and a man-made lake--full of couples in paddle boats--that flanks the Monumento a Alfonso XII.

Our stomachs were still very confused so we elected to make dinner at home that evening, stopping by the market for rice, chicken, and vegetables. 

Day 4 (3/27)

By day 4, you would think we would have at least somewhat adjusted to Spanish time. And in a way we had: we were waking up late, taking naps in the afternoon, and staying up later. So on day 4, we slept in. When we finally tore ourselves from the cozy den of bed, it was around 11am. We still needed coffee, so we headed out towards La Plaza Mayor and stepped into a coffee shop along the way. 

From the Plaza, we headed out to revisit the west side of Madrid: the Royal Palace we had seen on day 1 in a daze, the old theater (Teatro Real) we had missed entirely, and the Egyptian temple (Templo De Debod) we hadn't known about. After walking for several hours, we were famished. We came home, pooled some leftovers to snack on, then exercised in our living room and cleaned up in preparation for our impending departure.

We headed out for our final dinner. We planned to go to Museo Chicote: an old restaurant and “Madrid landmark” frequented by famous people (Ernest Hemingway among them). However, it was closed (as are a lot of shops and restaurants on Monday in Madrid, apparently). We backtracked to the literary district and chose a restaurant called "La Vinoteca." Obviously. There, we feasted on shared plates of cheesy croquettes, flavorful meatballs, and crostini topped with mozzarella and tomato. On the way home, we stopped at a nearby Bodega, which was dark but inviting and buzzing with activity. And with that, our time in Madrid had come to an end. We packed and prepared for our jarringly early 530am wake-up the next day, after which we would take the metro to the airport and fly to Porto, Portugal. 

[math-rocks-and-lizard-bats]

RESTRICTRD FILE?? WHEREVER THEY ARE?? HELLO?? TALESIN??

[colorfulandblack]

This is immensely amusing for a simple reason. Y'all been trying to crack it like Sean took the stitch he won't get a scar while others were like but Sean is Sean he's getting a scar.

Meanwhile Spenser went: "You get a scar! You get a scar! And You get a scar! And Sean is unconscious and we're finish here!" And Brennan revoked Sean taking the stitch anyhow

[math-rocks-and-lizard-bats]

Happy circle of monsters and fuckers (aka circle of tide and bone) day bitches!!!!

[math-rocks-and-lizard-bats]

Sean.. oh no sean. Doing what you want good but idk what’s gonna happen sean… sean.. OH NOOO (the people they’re here)

[math-rocks-and-lizard-bats]

HAPPY MONDAY INVESTIGATORS CANDELA OBSCURA WEEK IS UPON US!!