#can��t get bent about shipping fics and then read reader inserts

[kyluxtrashpit]

2017 Fic Recap

I’ve seen some people doing this and, well, I’m spending new year’s alone with my cat, so why the fuck not?

Total wordcount: 89 245 words, which is, holy fuck I’m impressed with myself. That’s a novel, right?

Beasts of a Feather, 7321 words, posted Jan 8

This fic is aggressively self-indulgent and though it got the least attention out of anything I posted this year, it’s still very dear to me

Make Me Whole, 4217 works, posted Jan 30

This was a KSK prompt before the blog went defunct and god, it’s like everything I love. Hurt/comfort, hair washing, and sex with feelings

Worthy 1799 words, posted Feb 22

Based on a KHK prompt, this was my first attempt at real ‘hard’ kylux. Despite this being a hate ship and having read some beautifully fucked up dynamics myself, I was always vaguely nervous about actually writing it like that. I really enjoyed it though and I still think it turned out nicely

...no one can here you scream, 2515 words, posted Apr 13

This was for the Kylux Eggstravaganza and as someone who is very anxious about events and almost always chickens out, I’m pretty impressed I actually did it. I don’t know why the facehugger prompt was the one that caught me. To this day, it is a mystery to me. The least sexual oviposition fic out there lmao

Powerless, 6148 words, posted Apr 18

Another KHK prompt and I hate to toot my own horn, but I love this fic. In terms of one-shots, it’s also the one that got the most attention. It was my first time trying a dynamic where Kylo was more confident in the bedroom and knew what he wanted and I really think it worked. It was a really fun one to write too

Hey Baby, Can You Bleed Like Me?, 11 599 works, posted Jul 4

Yet another KHK prompt and if Beasts of a Feather was self-indulgent, this one takes the cake on it. I really intended it to be like half the length it ended up being, but writing about fucked up people falling in love is literally why I’m in this ship. It’s why I’ve ever shipped anything at all. I’m mentally ill myself and writing this fic was a fucking exorcism in the best way possible. Another one that also got a lot of great feedback, which helped a lot too. Seriously, if someone asked me which fic of mine they should read if they can only read one, I’d say this one, every time

Demonstration, 5922 words, posted Aug 7

I swear, I do actually write original ideas sometimes, but this was a KHK prompt as well lmao. Another first, this one being a foray into true crack. It involves space AO3, Hux being extra af, Kylo enjoying himself a little too much, and traumatizing the crew of the Finalizer via public sex. Very public sex

Lessons in Intimacy, 3294 words, posted Aug 23

This one actually isn’t a prompt! Unbearably soft and another self-indulgent fic. Touch-starvation is another favourite topic of mine, both to write and to read, and I just love hard people being soft with each other. It’s cute. I really liked writing it

Fractured, 37 136 words, completed Nov 11, first chapter posted Sep 9

This fic is my fucking pride and joy of this year. I’d been picking at it as a WIP for about a year prior to posting the first chapter. I don’t do a lot of long, chaptered fics partially because I’m bad at plots that are that long and partially because I left one abandoned once and I still feel bad about it lmao. But I really wanted to tell this story and I really wanted to do it before TLJ came out, and I actually pulled it off. I’m stupidly proud of that. It’s the longest, most complex, and most ambitious fic I’ve ever written, and tbh I think of it almost as a spiritual successor to a fic I wrote in my previous fandom (it was about solitary confinement). The structure was weird and hard to work with, but it’s my baby and I’m stupidly proud of it. Also, not to toot my own horn again, but I think I handled Snoke abusing Kylo better and more interestingly than Rian Johnson did lmao

Nightmares, 5297 words, posted Dec 6

My first foray outside of kylux and I went straight for benpoe angst. I quite like benpoe, but I find it most intriguing for the angst potential, which is what I did here. It’s an idea that had been poking at me for months before I actually sat down and wrote it. I must say, I got some of the most satisfying comments of the year on this one lmao

What You Need, 1962 words, posted Dec 18

Lmao I actually started this one before even seeing TLJ as I saw some spoilers. It’s just porn. There’s no real deeper stuff behind it. I saw some people despairing that Hux’s characterization was ruined and needed to be completely reimagined after TLJ and I was like, welp, not on my fucking watch lmao. I also just really wanted to see Kylo bent over the throne

Quid Pro Quo, 1935 words, posted Dec 22

This was... an odd fic lmao. I feel like there’s a lot of underlying emotions that I couldn’t get into because Kylo has the emotional self-awareness of a sea sponge, but they’re definitely there. Idk I just wanted something resembling reconciliation post-TLJ and then the sleeve knife thing happened and suddenly I had no control over my fingers lmao. It did really, stupidly well though, especially for a T rated fic in the kylux fandom, so there is that I suppose

What have I learned?

Honestly, I think what I’ve learned is something I already knew, but was bad at practicing before. And that’s honestly to just write what you want to and not worry about how people are going to react to it. The majority of my fics this year were incredibly self-indulgent and not only did people love them, but I loved writing them. This was my most productive year since I started writing fics back in 2014 (and before that, when I was like 14 and writing reader-insert Gundam Seed fic on quizilla lmao) and I’ve enjoyed every moment of it. I also think my skills in general are improving, both from practice and being in such a talented fanbase. And seriously, the kylux fandom is still as amazingly generous as when I first started here. I’ve never had this much loving feedback directed at me before

Oh also I had set a real goal last year of trying to respond to comments more and I actually did do it! I still don’t get them all, but I’ve been doing a really good job of responding to the majority of them. So good job, me! Now I just need to keep it up and maybe try to stop sounding like a robot when I do lmao

Goals for 2018?

Right now, I’m not sure... I have 3 main WIPs I’ve been pecking at, plus some other bits and pieces I’m paying less attention to, but I think everyone is feeling a little out of sorts after TLJ. Because we got new content, but now what do we actually do with that new content, you know? I’m not 100% sure what to do and I need inspiration and direction. I wrote a ridiculous amount of KHK prompts this year, so maybe that’ll be my ticket haha. But I suppose my main goal is just to continue writing, to continue pushing my own limits like I did with Fractured, and to keep enjoying myself while doing it. Because really, what does any of it matter if I’m not having fun?