#can’t resist the heartstopper reference

[slut-4-remuslupin]

Me when I was hella confused about my sexuality and lowkey thought I was ~In Love~ with my Best Friend™ who’s an aspiring musician because he was Asexual—I love him platonically, he’s objectively a very attractive person, but I have zero sexual attraction to him, and if we dated that meant I could have a relationship with a man, and everything that came with it (hugging, cuddling, spending time together, maybe some romantic kissing here and there, etc.), AND I would never have to have sex! Literally the dream relationship!!!—and wrote some yearning ass soppy song about him;

He knew I write ‘songs’ aka lyrics without a melody, and he wanted to see some of my work to see if he could put a melody to it, and I showed him three of the songs I had, and HE CHOSE THAT ONE TO WORK ON😭

I think the most awkward moment in my life was sitting in his bedroom while he made a melody/sang the yearning ass song I wrote ABOUT HIM. He lives an hour away but I spent the whole weekend at his house, and I Stg I couldn’t look him in the eye the next 3 times I went over there

(Turns out I’m not, in fact, in love with him. I just have a complicated relationship with my sexuality, in that I <3 women, and I think men are attractive, I would like a relationship with a man, but I have zero interest in having sex with one💀)

how do i look bro in the eye knowing i wrote gay ass yearning poetry abt him last night