#can’t do this anymore huhu

[rispwr]

Trying to hold it in till next year cuz my sleeping pills are looking a lik bit too good

[back2bluesidex]

Slide - MYG (18+)

Pairing: Producer!Yoongi X Lyricist!Reader 

Theme: Angst, smut, unplanned pregnancy. Fwb to ?

Word count: 2k+

Summary: 

"I can see the pain in your eyes I don't wanna say that I'm God, but I'll take you to heaven if you die"  

Alternatively, 

You would go back in time and fall in love with Yoongi over and over and over again even after knowing that he would never once be yours in any of the timeline.

Warnings: implied smut, explicit smut, emotional sex, very sad (don't underestimate the angst huhu), depressed yoongi, reader is pining so hard lord!, creampie, unplanned pregnancy, NSFW!!

Listened to Slide by Chase Atlantics

Minors do not interact!!

Series Masterlist | Masterlist | Patreon

A/N: Lemme know if you want a part 2? (even though I already know the answer hehe).

Arrangement.

You would rather call it an arrangement - the thing that is going on between you and Yoongi. Anything you have been feeling for him, outside your usual practice, is your, solely your decision or more likely… fault. 

Hence, it’s a given. A given that you shouldn’t feel your heart dropping to your stomach, crashing on whatever is available inside your body and shattering into a thousand pieces, when you find Gyuri walking inside the room. 

Beside you, Yoongi tenses. His body goes rigid as the air inside the room thickens beyond repair. And all of a sudden you can’t breathe. 

Now you understand why Namjoon has been avoiding to reveal the name of the artist all along.

Lee Gyuri - One of the most successful solo artist as well as Min Yoongi’s one true love, who had left him broken so bad that you once found him on the street, unconscious, vomit all over his clothes - is now back in his life… in your life, which has been revolving around him. 

Where she left - You started. 

You picked Yoongi up, put him into pieces, not that you were able to heal the cracks but you at least conjoined it all together. 

And just like that - one night after a long heart to heart talk and a few beers, you found him seethed deep inside you. Yoongi chanted your name again and again as if it’s a mantra that will heal the cracks of his heart all while he rutted in you like a mad man. 

It started from there - the arrangement. 

At the end of long days and even longer nights, whenever both of you were too exhausted to go home, you spent the nights crammed together on Yoongi’s studio couch. 

Quiet whispers, curse words, wandering hands, secret body parts slick with arousal - everything had made your existence dwindle dangerously through his fingers. 

Yoongi always fell asleep right after but you stayed awake, tracing the slope of his nose, bow of his lips, map of his pale skin glinting in the dark. 

You had made a mistake. 

You fell in love.

Now as Gyuri slides inside the room with natural elegance, you hear Yoongi’s breathing getting quicker in pace. 

He is anxious. 

You place a hand on his knees, under the table. It’s a practiced habit that you adopted over time. Your fingertips help to calm him down. 

Everything is the same. 

Except this time, Yoongi doesn’t relax under your touch. 

“Yoongi, can we talk for a moment?” Gyuri requests with a timid voice at the end of the meeting. Her eyes quickly lock with yours for a fraction of a second. 

You half expect for Yoongi to say no. You pray to the universe for his answer to come as negative even when you know –

“Yes. Sure.” 

That Yoongi never stopped loving her for a moment. Yoongi loved, loves and will love only one woman - and that’s not you. 

Even though you don’t feel your legs anymore, you stand up. You choose to take the stairs to exhaust your body so that your sadness can be masked. 

But even as you climb down floors after floors - your heart stays confined in that room locked with two lovers. 

“She said she wants to work it out this time. She has been missing me terribly... she said.” Yoongi doesn’t look away from the blaring computer screen. 

He probably doesn’t have the heart of looking into your eyes. 

Somewhere he, too, knows of the deepest secrets you have been hiding from him. 

“And? What did you say?” You chew on the inside of your mouth, again praying for him to answer something of your liking. 

“That I will think about it.” you knew he would say that. 

“What is there to think about, Yoongi? You still love her.” you force the words out of your mouth even when your throat closes up. 

Tears threaten to spill from the corner of your eyes but you blink those away.

Yoongi finally looks at you, his own eyes glinting with moisture. 

“But what about you?” The question is rhetorical - metaphorical. 

“Me? I will go back to where I started from.” you lie, heart threatening to leap out of your chest. 

You would go back, but not where you started from, you would go back to the night when you picked Yoongi up from the street.

In simpler terms, you would go back in time and fall in love with Yoongi over and over and over again even after knowing that he would never once be yours in any of the timelines. 

You squeeze your eyes shut tight, pretending not to hear anything at all. 

Even though you have to summon all of your willpower to do so - you stay still in your bed. 

Your tears though - keep falling, rolling down the apple of your cheeks and making a small puddle inside the curve of your ear. 

He keeps rambling on the door. 

Sometimes the knocks are steady, sometimes infused with anger but his voice stays low. You wouldn’t hear him calling your name if you weren’t attentive enough.

“Y/N! Please open the door.” Yoongi requests again. Through the wood of your door it sounds like a whisper, “Please. I- I want to see you once.” 

Every pore of your body woozes out the desire of letting him in, taking him inside your arms and never ever letting him go. 

But you are afraid. 

He has never once visited you by his own will. 

He only tagged along when you asked him to. 

So you are afraid. 

Afraid of what he might say. Afraid that he might say what you don’t want to hear. You already know everything - know enough - if he points it out now that he is going to leave you behind as the love of his life is back then you might as well break down, which you definitely don’t want to do. 

You have always appeared to be nonchalant before Yoongi about this arrangement, about his kisses, his marks, his simple ignorance - and you want it to stay that way. 

However, your resolve breaks when you hear a sob, muffled by the door. 

Is he crying? Why? Why is he crying at your door? 

So you get up, pad towards the door and swing it open. 

Yoongi’s head shoots up and you look at his face. 

He is a mess - a mess that you love. 

With dark hair all disheveled, face smeared with tears, lips chapped, Yoongi says, “I am here to end things.” 

This. You were afraid of this. 

Your insides churn and mold into a ball of nothingness. There are words sitting on the tip of your tongue but you choose to stay silent as always.

“Okay.” you reply, holding the door knob again ready to shut it on his beautiful face for once and for all. 

Yoongi forces his hand at the edge of the door, preventing you from closing it. 

He steps inside your apartment and within a few moments, you are being pushed to the door, closing it with the force of your back. 

Yoongi kisses you with everything he has left inside. You kiss him back. 

You don’t know what is happening but if this is for one last time, then you will accept it. 

Your hands wrap around his neck on their own accord. His chapped lips mold perfectly with your moisturized pair. 

They move in perfect sync, perfect rhythm - the rhythm of destruction. 

“Y/N” Yoongi whispers in between the kiss, “I am sorry.” 

You don’t pay his words any mind, rather you let your fingers get lost in his long dark hair. 

The kiss grows hungrier by every second you spend in each other’s hold. 

Yoongi starts directing you towards your bedroom and your small apartment space takes no time to be crossed. 

You soon feel the edge of your bed behind your knees. 

When you fall back - Yoongi falls with you. 

He looks into your eyes, his own eyes telling a thousand different stories all together. But tonight, you don’t try to read those. 

What’s the point when your own chapter is ending? When memories of you will be left to collect dust on the surface? 

What’s the point when he knows he is going back to the one he has always loved? 

His rough calloused hand comes in contact with your cheek. 

“I’m sorry.” he whispers again as he reaches down to place a kiss on your forehead. 

“I’m sorry.” he kisses your right eye.

“I’m sorry.” he kisses your left eye.

“I’m sorry.” this time it’s the tip of your nose. 

“I’m sorry” and lastly it’s your lips. 

You have never seen Min Yoongi this emotional. 

After Gyuri left him, he became numb. You were never able to thaw the frozen parts of him. 

But tonight you see a completely different Yoongi. Is this Gyuri’s magic? Has her return made him a human again? 

Yoongi - who never touched you or kissed you more than it’s needed, is now apologizing while kissing every small part of your face? 

You take a sharp breath and reply, “it’s okay.” even though you don’t know what he is apologizing for. For not being able to reciprocate your feelings? For using you when you let him? For leaving you behind after tonight? 

He has already started placing kisses around your jaw, throat, collarbones. His hands fist the hem of your pajama top and he pulls it up revealing your naked chest. 

He doesn’t waste time diving down and taking one of your perked nipples inside his mouth. 

He sucks on it softly, sweetly - like a lover. Your tears start spilling from your eyes finally. But you completely lose it when you feel his own tears on the mound of your breast. You let him sob, as you sob quietly. 

It doesn’t take much time for your clothes and his clothes to join as a hip on the floor of your bedroom. 

Yoongi pumps himself, preparing for one last time to enter you. When he lines his cock on your entrance, he takes a quick glance at your face, as if asking for permission. 

Your tear stained face lights up in a small smile - it’s not fake. 

He enters you, takes up every corner of your walls, fills you with himself - both of your body and heart. 

Yoongi doesn’t say anything anymore. He pushes himself inside you, pounds into you with an unusual pace. 

His face comes to rest on the crook of your neck. You embrace him to stay there, stay with you as long as it lasts. 

For the first time ever, Yoongi doesn’t fucks you - he makes love to you. 

The realization makes you shudder. 

Why now? Why now out of all the time? Why now when everything is ending? 

His breath starts getting labored, you feel yourself hanging close to the edge as well. 

And after a few more thrusts, you let go. He fills you up following your invitation. 

Both of you stay like that even after the deed is done - for a moment, an hour? You don’t know.  

You feel his disposal running down your inner thigh, when he finally slips out of you. 

You sneak a glance in his dark orbs for one last time. With a sore throat and an equally sore heart you whisper, “Be happy, Yoongi.” 

You see one last drop of tear slipping down his eyes when he dips down to cage your lips in his for one last time. 

It’s been a month since that night. 

It’s been a month since you last talked to Yoongi beside work. 

It’s been a month since you last saw Yoongi outside work. 

It’s been a month since you withdrew from Gyuri’s project.

It’s been more than a month since you had your last period. 

As you stand in your bathroom, with the tiny testing kit, those two red lines mock you. 

You thought that night was the last time? But this after effect - where will you go with this? Who will you confide in? 

It can’t be Min Yoongi - can it? 

You have let him slide through your fingers after all. 

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[boyfhee]

ㅤ ꣑୧ㅤㅤ:ㅤCANDLELITㅤㅤ𝒻t.ㅤㅤ성혼

﹙10097﹚ SYNOPSIS . . . the dating scene sucks, especially when the only person you want to be with is your roommate.

꣑୧ GENRE . . . roommate au, 'i hate them but they're hot' kind of energy

꣑୧ WARNINGS . . . profanities, drinking i mean lots of drinking we need alcohol shortage here, sunghoon smokes, mentions of one night stands, one very suggestive make out scene in the fourth section, undertones of cheating but not from sunghoon or reader, implications of sex although it's very light

꣑୧ NOTES . . . hi ( _ _; ) drowning in nervousness as i'm posting this. it's my first long fic after months ... i think the last one was in may or june 23 ... so please be nice >< don't know why but this didn't turn out how i wanted it to and it's definitely not one of my proudest works, but i hope u guys like it nonetheless huhu TT happy reading and please rb and drop feedback, it's highly appreciated ^_^

001. WHERE THERE’S HEAVEN THERE’S HELL

sunghoon is spiralling again. 

a part of it is because of the endless assignments from classes, but that’s no news. he knows it’s his fault for procrastinating and waiting till two days before the due date to even think about working on them— unlike jake who somehow attends classes probably four times a week and is seen in the football fields instead, and still manages to be the first one to submit his essays. it’s admirable, annoying at most. when he sat down to do his sports science project three days before it was due, sunghoon realised why his professor gave them two months to finish it. 

but realising your mistakes and working on them to be a better version of yourself are two different things.

for one, sunghoon believes those assignments are useless. no one cares about the impact of sports on society, maybe except heeseung and jake but again, in sunghoon’s mind, those two are never important. second, he’s too perfect to be working on himself. sunghoon is the best version of himself. he was born the day his uncle died, and his dad inherited the entire chain of restaurants his family owns across the country. he’s too amazing to be worrying about getting a degree he can buy— he thinks the university should be honoured he’s choosing to study— but that’s simply because his mother doesn’t want him to turn out like his sister. 

back to the matter at hand— as he puts the beer can on the table and sits back on the couch, his eyes travel to the door yet again. seventh time in just a minute, he’s keeping a record of how you make him wait. 

if there’s one thing he hates is being irresponsible ( coming from the great king of irresponsibility himself. ) you said you’d be back by twelve, and it’s half past one in night and not a soul knows your whereabouts. thirteen texts, seven missed calls, his phone is at forty-one percent and sunghoon is at his limit. if it wasn’t for your mom he wouldn’t give two flying fucks about where you are and how you’ve been.

sunghoon is actually surprisingly obedient and well-mannered, as opposed to the popular belief. he gave you and your mother the whole tour of the apartment the day you moved in. even made some coffee which isn’t much but your mother had loved him. he could see it in the way she looked at him with those sweet eyes, holding his hands as if he was her own son, and asking him to look after you. 

‘please take care of my daughter,’ sunghoon thought he was getting married. instead of a wedding bell there were warning sirens going off. to this day he doesn’t know why she asked him that, minutes after she saw a dead cactus in the balcony that he killed by overwatering. he couldn’t even say no to her and just nodded, looking over at you briefly and noticing how you look like you were a bit embarrassed. sunghoon doesn’t know why he’s so serious about ‘taking care’ of you. he thought it would be easy, but you had to be devil’s favourite spawn and sunghoon happens to be your target.

however, he can’t take this anymore. he has a morning class and waiting till two am while drinking beer has done more damage to sunghoon than it should. he gets up from the couch with a sigh, leaving the empty cans unattended for a night as he makes a mental note to clean tomorrow. it isn’t until a click from the door stops him in his tracks. 

“i’m back,” your voice is quiet, a yawn following immediately after your words as you look down while taking off your shoes. you’ve been drinking again, sunghoon can tell it from a mile away. 

“you’re late,” he speaks over the silence, hands on his torso as he’s giving you those squinted eyes and doubtful looks. if sunghoon didn’t know any better, he would assume you fucked someone at the club with how messy you look at the moment.

“yeah well, we had to take gigi to the hospital,” your lazy voice isn’t much louder than a whisper. you stumble towards your room, a hiccup followed soon after by the same quiet and slurred tone. “she ate something weird,”

he huffs at your words, knowing it would very well be just another excuse. “you could’ve at least texted,”

“my phone died,”

“i’m sure your friends would be happy to lend you their phone,” he pauses when he feels himself getting a bit annoyed. a soft sigh falls off his lips as he looks down at the tiled floor before looking up and speaking in a much calmer voice. “i’m just saying it’s not exactly safe to be out alone on the streets this late at night,”

“i wasn’t alone,” that piques his interest. “jay drove me back,”

and sunghoon felt his whole world stop. “jay?”

“yeah, jay, park jongseong,” your voice is surprisingly sweet when you take his name and it bothers sunghoon for some reason. his face scrunches up when you bite back a smile, hoping it’s the alcohol not because of what he thinks it is. “he’s nicer than i thought,”

sunghoon is not unfamiliar with the name park jongseong.

he hears it every day on and off the campus, more often than he likes. first things first, he’s just as popular as jake, for being american, which brings sunghoon to the question— why in the world would he leave america to study in korea when jay could have attended one of the ivy leagues with his face and money?

and the second and more important question, why in the world is park jongseong dropping you home at two in the night?

sunghoon only watches you in disbelief and astonishment as you stumble to your room, mumbling something incoherently. your words ring in his ear like sirens. ‘he is better than you’ jay is better than sunghoon. he scoffs almost offensively in your direction. that has to be the biggest lie of the twenty-first century.

he follows you to your room, reaching out to grab your arms when you almost trip but you manage to balance yourself. he opens the door and turns on the lights for you. “why were you with him to begin with?”

“oh, you don’t know?” and you turn around with eyes wide open as he shakes his head like a deer in the headlight. “he asked me out,” 

sunghoon didn’t get a single ounce of sleep last night. 

it’s your fault, clearly. had you been back earlier on the time, nothing would’ve happened. and jay— sunghoon sights at the thought of him, eyes narrowing as he grits on his pen as if he’s going to break it into two. 

“dude, are you hungry?” jake pokes sunghoon by his shoulder, dragging the latter out of his trail of thoughts. 

“what?” sunghoon shoots a blank look, one that makes his friend sigh in concern. afterall, it’s not everyday he sees sunghoon chewing on a pen. “i’m not,”

“you’ve been out of it since the morning,”

and sunghoon has been out of it since jay’s name fell from your lips. 

he’s not your friend, definitely not the first guy you’ve called by his name after sunghoon. but something doesn’t sit right. even after tossing and turning in bed for the whole night, he can’t figure out what bothers him more— the fact you said jay is better than him, or the fact that he asked you out on a date.

it’s the first one, he convinces himself. who you date is none of his business, he can’t be arsed enough to care about your love life or relationship status. ( although, he does care a little because he’s nosy. ) what bothers him more is that jay is, to put it in simple words, a player. all that face and no empathy for emotions is a waste, and to think you don’t know this— or maybe you do and yet still chose to go out with him, is beyond sunghoon’s comprehension. 

“what do you think about jay?” he asks abruptly, catching jake’s attention, looking at him a little too intently for an answer. 

“he’s a nice guy,” a casual reply before he gets back to his assignment before jake looks back at sunghoon with newly found interest. “he turned in my spanish essay last week, oh and drove me back from the bar a few days ago after you ditched me. why?”

sunghoon simply shakes his head, getting back to his books even though his focus is nowhere near studies. at this point, he doesn’t know if it’s jay distracting him or you. even your words keep playing over and over again in the back of his head. jay and nice in the same sentence doesn’t seem fit. sure, he helps his friends and drops his girl back home, but that’s only three days before there’s a new girl in his arms. 

002. RUNNING OUT OF SANITY

sunghoon doesn’t hear the door click open when you come back from your classes, too busy in the balcony while humming a tune that you recognise immediately. you take off your shoes, noticing how he taps his foot along with the melody, and it’s quiet in the apartment, apart from the sound of traffic and wind rustling through the trees around.

“i don’t like people who smoke,” smoking is not on your list of likes, but you find yourself next to sunghoon whenever he’s with a cigarette. just like now, when you return from yet another one of your dates— or meet-ups as you prefer to call it right now— with jay. it wasn’t really planned. you bumped into him after classes and he was on his way back home, so you asked him for a coffee. 

he almost jumps at your sudden voice but manages to compose himself, scowing at the distaste in your expression before scoffing, the cigarette still dancing between his lips. “good think, i’m not looking forward to be liked by you,”

he studies the frown on your face, glares as if your eyes are shooting daggers in his direction. it’s amusing to him how easy it is to get on your nerves. he leans against the metal railings, hair falling over his forehead. his eyes stay on your for a few seconds before he holds the cigarette between his index and middle finger, putting it away from his mouth and blowing out the smoke in your directions. he laughs mockingly when you step back, fanning out the smoke with your hands, cursing under your breath.

“are you crazy?!” you exclaim in annoyance, coughing slightly at his poor attempt at entertainment. your frown deepens when he mumbles a quiet apology although not meaning it, from the looks of it, and lifts the cigarette back to his lips. 

“you’re back early,” he states casually, tapping the cigarette butt and watching the ash fall down from the balcony before a taunting chortle falls off his lips. “did jay dump your ass or something?”

your nose scrunches up at his actions, although mostly at the tobacco you can still smell in your air. you look down at the road, watching a mercedes passing by. “no, he had to go somewhere so he left early,”

“i knew it! he’s good for nothing,” and he drops the cigarette to the floor, crushing it with his foot even though at the back of his mind, he knows you’re going to yell at him for cleaning that up. “what kind of guy can’t even spend time with his girlfriend?”

“we’re not dating,”

“that’s worse!” he emphasises, and a pause follows as he looks at you with a confused expression. “wait— didn’t you say he asked you out?”

“he did, but he said he wants to wait until exams are over,” there’s a hint of displeasure in your voice. his eyes travel down to your fingers, especially the ring you’re fiddling with before they’re back on your face when you speak again. “we just decided to hang out,”

he practically scoffs at your words, quite literally in disbelief. a knowing sigh comes out of his mouth as he stands straight, this time standing with his back against the railing, feeling the cold metal though his thin white t-shirt. a part of him wants to laugh at your stupidity and point at how naive you are, while another part of him wants to find jay and beat him to pulp. he doesn’t know why there’s anger pooling in his stomach at the mere thought of jay just messing around with you. 

“what a sick bastard,” he huffs with a tincture of annoyance in his tone. “how much do you want to bet he’s playing with you?”

“you’re the one who’s sick,” and even though it clicks with him that you’re referring to a few minutes earlier when he smoked all in your face, sunghoon still frowns when you call him sick. “he’s just prioritising his studies, there’s nothing wrong with that. at least he doesn’t smoke while being all up my face,”

you two just bask in silence after that.

he doesn’t have much to say— actually he does, but he doesn’t know how to put it in a decent, coherent way. of course, your reaction won’t be the most pleasant if he told you he wants to punch jay’s good for nothing handsome face. he wonders what you’re thinking when he looks over at you. you seem happy whenever you talk about your supposed ‘future boyfriend,’ yet it’s evident that you’re upset. he likes to think you’re having your doubts too. it's reassuring to him for some reason— because that’s good for you, of course. if you’re upset, you have your doubts, and if you have your doubts you might not fall victim to whatever sick game jay is playing. 

“oh, actually, he doesn’t smoke,” but then you speak in a matter-of-fact way, as if comparing him to jay before giving him a mocking smile. “he’s better than you,”

those words ring in his mind for a good while. 

you go back inside and he hears you shut the door to your room as an annoyed sigh falls off his lips. hearing that jay is nice from jake was another thing, but hearing to say he’s better than him leaves a bitter taste on his tongue. and he doesn’t know why he’s feeling this way, these little changes in how he usually is, it’s new. it’s frustrating him out. 

it isn’t until his phone vibrates that he’s dragged out of his ocean of thoughts. his brows furrow when he notices the time, having realised that he basically wasted the entire noon even though he didn’t attend classes after giving heeseung an excuse that he’s sick. his eyes squint at the sender, and then a groan escaping his lips when he opens to read it. 

noh chaeun  4:15pm hoon! my last two classes have been cancelled are you up for some coffee?

sunghoon doesn’t reply, rather leaving his classmate’s messages on seen, too bothered by his inner turmoil to spend time with her. it’s not like him to be this way, to be so bothered over something that doesn’t concern him. you’re definitely not someone so significant and jay is definitely not the first guy you’re with. in fact, he has seen you kiss that guy from one of your classes— as much as he hates to recall that incident now— and had sneaked up to tell your mother about it over the phone when she had called you.

you’ve never had a serious relationship, not after meeting him. in his head, you always came back to him and he’d be lying if he hadn’t joked about it with his friends during the initial few weeks after you had moved in. when he had mentioned to jake that you’re pretty and his friend had teased him a few days later, saying his ‘crush’ was with this other guy, sunghoon, did in fact, say he doesn’t care because you always come back to him; or rather his apartment, actually, but whatever fits the joke. 

that day, he had a good laugh out of it and the joke died back then itself, more so after he started complaining about you to his friends. your habits, your actions, the things you say that tick him off, your quirky and quick remarks— everything. perhaps, even about your habit of arriving late on weekends from parties and ruining his sleep because you forget the key most of the time, so he has to wake up and open the door for you, but not guys, never guys. 

it hurts his head to even try and figure it out, to find the reasoning behind the pang in his chest every time you mention jay. he likes to think it’s just harmless competition although for no reason, even though both of them have done plenty of things to piss each other off just for the fun of it. sunghoon thinks he can live with it and walks back inside to the living room, until he sees you walking out of your room on phone with someone, the name of he who shall be mentioned rolling off your tongue again, and he finally pulls out his phone with a frustrated sigh. 

sunghoon  4:21pm sure, i’ll pick you up in ten

“actually, my mom wants to invite your family over for dinner this weekend,” the girl in front of him speaks with a smile after muttering a quiet thank you to the waiter after he gets their order. “she’s very grateful  for the donation your dad made for our art gallery and wants to thank properly,”

“talk to my parents, then,” it’s a simple reply, too bland and forced for her liking.

sunghoon hasn’t spared her a single look in the past ten minutes that they’ve been sitting together at the table. firstly, he doesn’t know why he drove to a restaurant when she asked for a coffee. it’s not even close to dinner time, and the awkward yet sweet smile on her face didn’t make it better for him, so he ordered starters and drinks to drag their little impromptu dinner out. 

“sunghoon, to be honest,” chaeun tries to strike up a conversation again, despite the constant lack of effort from his side. “i want you—”

“hey, isn’t that jongseong?” and he cuts her off immediately, finger pointing outside the glass panes beside them as he stares in the direction behind her with brows knit together in shock. “who’s that with her?”

“jongseong?” she repeats the name before turning her head, forming an ‘o’ when she spots a familiar figure through the multitude on the streets. “ah, that’s myung jihye. she has been pursuing him for a while. i guess he finally agreed,”

“they’re dating?!” his voice is full of surprise and disbelief unlike hers, so seemed to be happy for the girl instead. he stares outside with a heavy silence as the couple disappears between the crowd before looking at the girl in front of him.

“oh, i wouldn’t say that…i don’t know but it’s possible they are.” it doesn’t miss her attention how sunghoon’s fingers tighten around the fork. “everybody in our major knows jihye has crush on him and they’re probably a thing by now,”

and he wishes you were here with him right now so that he could show you the true colours of the dear guy you’ve been going out with, the one who’s supposedly ‘better’ than him. he wants you to realise that his words weren’t false and he isn’t sick, after all, and if you’d cry, he would be down to tell you it’s not the end of the world. that there are a hundred other guys better than jay, ones who won’t even breathe in front of another woman, who’d treat you better— hell, i can treat you better if you ever give me a chance— and then a pause in his train of thoughts.

he looks at chaeun, who’s looking back at him with a perplexed look and her own set of questions. his mind replays those words yet again, and he screams internally.

what the heck?!

surprisingly enough, sunghoon has been thinking about jay for the whole evening now, obviously not in a good way. his eyes keep travelling to the knife stand on the kitchen island occasionally and every single time, he has to convince himself that murder is not the right answer to anything. 

for some reason, he can’t stop imagining your smiles while on date with jay. not that he has ever seen those— wish i could— as he slaps himself out of his state of mind yet again. not only that man is playing with you but on jihye who’s apparently his girlfriend? he lets out the ugliest scoff known to mankind, because in sunghoon’s head, jay is a sick joke made by biology.

he waits for you to return from your shopping spree for about an hour, having beer as a company. he tries to stay awake although his eyes get droopy, and then every ounce of sleep leaves his body when he hears the door unlock. 

“yn,” he practically jumps out of the couch, it almost scares you. he accidentally bumps into the living room table on the way, knocking an empty can of beer to the floor but too busy to bother picking it up. “i have to tell—” his eyes go down to the eleven shopping bags in your hands, as he counts them. “— wait, what did you shop so much for?” 

“oh, i have to attend a family wedding next month,” his chest feels warm when he sees you smiling and looking so excited, and it’s making him go crazy on the inside because he doesn’t know what is happening to him. for some reason, he starts imagining you in a gown, like the one you wore for the fresher’s party, but then he forces his mind to get back to the point. “i’m thinking of asking jay to be my date,”

and his heart drops down to his stomach.

this has to be a fucking joke, and he tells himself. for a split second, he thinks he didn’t hear you properly. maybe you said jake because, well, jake did tweet a ‘date for rent’ form five months ago when he needed money to buy tickets for a post malone concert that cost more than his gentle monster glasses ( not that he got any money but at least they got a good laugh out of it. ) 

you remove your shoes and put the shopping bags on the couch before sitting down as well, letting out a heavy sigh. “you look like you saw a ghost,”

“a ghost would’ve been better,” he catches you looking at him when he mumbles under his breath, sort of grateful you didn’t hear him before sunghoon would rather not have another argument with you over how jay is not only a bad choice, he’s the worst choice. 

he looks over at you when you pull out your phone, fingers fluttering over the screen as you text someone with a giddy smile. he considers telling you what he had seen earlier, but god, he loved to see you smile like that. the way you press your lips together to suppress a grin, looking ever so happy as if you have won a lottery. he doesn’t think you’ve ever smiled like that at him, and it aggravates him even more when he realises that you probably smile like that every time you see jay. 

jay is getting everything he isn’t deserving of, and it pisses sunghoon off down to his bones. 

but again, he can’t bring himself to tell you the truth. you look too happy for your own good, it pains him physically to even imagine your reaction when you’ll come to know the truth. and then he pulls himself together, telling himself that it is your fault in the first place to trust someone like jay and ignore the warning signs he was giving you. 

in the end, he leaves without having any further conversations with you, going to bed two hours earlier than usual even though he knows he isn’t going to get any sleep. sunghoon is convinced he’s losing his mind, faster than a day ago actually. he lets out a frustrated groan and covers himself with his blanket, hoping to catch some sleep. 

it’s going to be yet another long day tomorrow.

003. A CHANGE OF STANCE

sunghoon thinks you’re hot.

what the fuck?

“i asked something,” you remind, pulling him out of his trail of thoughts and he flinches slightly, making your brows furrow in confusion. “how do i look?”

“huh— what? oh,” he takes in your appearance again. hair down, make up done— you’re wearing your favourite lip tint? and the best dress he has seen you in so far, looking so mind blowing it actually blows his mind and short circuits his brain. 

even your favourite lip tint … sunghoon doesn’t know why he’s looking at your lips in the first place but little does he know he’s fucked. 

absolutely. completely. fucked.

nonetheless, he manages to compose himself, clearing his throat and sitting up ever so elegantly on the couch, legs crossed, the magazine still in his hands. “you look…t-terrific,” 

you can’t help but get even more confused at his words, wondering if it was a bad idea to even ask him for his opinion, even though you play along. “like in a good way or a bad way?”

“in a terrific way,” he blurts out, eyes wide open as panic settles in slowly inside his stomach, and he’s stuttering, shocked, surprised, fucked, again. “you look terrific in a terrific way…so terrifically terrific in the most terrific way possible,” 

“are you high?” 

well, he would say he is! never in the two years that he has known you did sunghoon think he’d find himself floored, figuratively, and speechless, literally, at the sight of you. and he’s not saying you look bad on other days. you look good, in fact. good as in plain and presentable, but never in a good good way and definitely not in a hot way, of course. 

“anyway, i’m going out. receive my parcel for me if it arrives,” you move to put on your shoes, taking a few seconds to pick between the two you think would suit your outfit. for a moment, you consider asking him to help you choose— as you look at him up and down peripherally, and he looks terrified. and you shrug it off, grabbing one of your loafers.

“where are you going?” he asks after a good minute of silence, sounding calmer than earlier as he gets off the couch and walks up to you. his nose scrunches up in disapproval as your hands move to one of your jimmy choos for a brief second, before you decide to go back to your initial pick.

“date,” he takes a moment to register your words, despite this happening many times.

a date. he scoffs softly, looking away, arms crossed. 

a date, again. sunghoon doesn’t give a fuck. 

“with jay,” you continue, this time with a sweet smile on your face that makes his heart flutter for some reason. maybe, he does give a fuck. 

now, sunghoon should feel bad for his fellow friend of a friend because he’s on a date with you, but instead he wants to snap his neck in two. the name is starting to give him an ick— jay this, jay that. you’re hanging out with jay, having coffee with jay, going on a date with jay, shopping with jay, next would be going to bed with jay— he pauses immediately, shaking his head. he doesn’t really like the sound of that.

“whatever,” he tells himself when you walk out of that door, looking all pretty and excited. he doesn’t know why he’s getting so worked up over a date, that too with someone who— according to sunghoon and chaeun— is dating someone else. he would pay to see you back home all miserable and he would point fingers at you and laugh, saying he told you already while you had your conscience and rationality clogged up with the possibility of getting dicked down. 

but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re on a date with jay fucking park. and you’re looking hot. 

he sighs, slouching back on the couch, looking outside at the bright blue skies and then sighs again. he needs to be lobotomized.

it’s three in the noon and sunghoon is drowning himself in misery and pity. and soju.

a glass after another and then another, along with two empty bottles already on the table. even the owners are giving him a weird look and heeseung can only let him ruin his reputation so much.

“there, there,” the senior takes the half empty bottle of soju from his hand and puts it aside, sighing pitifully at sunghoon. “that’s enough for today. you need to stop drinking,”

“heeseung,” sunghoon looks up at the guy in front of him, looking horribly pitiful, eyes a bit unfocused from the alcohol settling in his system. “do you know yn?”

and heeseung pauses for a few moments, not knowing what prompted him to ask this question. more so when you and heeseung went to the same highschool and even were in the music club. he nods slightly in doubt, raising his glass to his lips. “of course,”

“do you think he’s pretty?”

“of course,”

“do you think she’s hot?”

“of course,” it takes heeseung quite a few seconds to respond and sunghoon sort of wants to punch him in the face for agreeing because he feels a certain way when others find you hot— but he would claim it’s soju giving him heartburns. “why are you even asking this suddenly?”

“she went on a date with jay,” he responds in the most miserable and sullen voice known to mankind. his shoulders practically slouching at the mention of he-who-shall-not-be-mentioned, finger tracing the rim of the glass in front of him with incoherent whines falling off his lips.

“so what?” jake interjects, beckoning the owner for yet another bottle for soju. it was necessary, as heeseung had warned earlier while arriving at the restaurant, considering sunghoon’s impromptu text about wanting to meet up. 

“jake, did you hear what i said? she’s on a date with jay. park. jong. seong,” the youngest spells out every syllable, sitting up straight as he gets defensive. “she thinks he’s madly in love with her or something but she’s wrong! the day i went out with chaeun, i saw him with jihye and guess what? chaeun said everyone knows they’re a thing but apparently, yn doesn’t know this. i’ve told her so many times that he is not worth it but she won’t understand she’s fucking dumb oh my god,”

and…silence.

absolute fucking maddening silence that made sunghoon go even more insane before jake finally decides to speak, albeit in disbelief. 

“that monologue was unnecessary,” the foreigner pours in another glass for the three of them, filling them up completely, knowing this is going in a new direction yet a one that has been anticipated by both him and heeseung. “besides, since when do you care about her?”

“she’s my roommate,”

“you like her,” heeseung exclaims, and silence follows again for a few seconds before sunghoon gasps scandalously, slamming his glass down on the table which turns a few heads in their direction as jake mutters an embarrassed apology for it.

“i don’t,” sunghoon speaks in a voice much calmer than his previous tone, even leaning in towards the table to put emphasis on his words. jake pours himself another glass, scoff at his words while shaking his head mockingly which only pisses him off more.

“i knew this would happen,” heeseung continues, stating it as a matter of fact while nudging jake to pour him a glass as well. “saw this coming from a mile away when you cried over her going on a blind date the last time you got drunk,”

he can’t point out when that must’ve happened, but he doesn’t refute his words, simply letting his eyes travel across the room for a few moments. the frown on his lips deepens when he meets jake’s knowing gaze as he gets defensive once again. “i’m telling you, i don’t like her,”

“you said that about hello kitty but she’s everywhere in your room now,” he turns his phone with the screen up when he feels jake’s eyes on it, or particularly on the hello kitty sticker on his phone cover as the boy nudges him for another glass. “go on, you’ll need it.”

and sunghoon does, drinking more than he usually does thanks to jake filling his glass again and again for the sake of his sob story. the cab drops him in front of his apartment and he stumbles his way to the elevator. the silence sobers him out for some reason as he leans against the walls of the elevator and thinks about you.

perhaps you’re still with jay, sharing smiles and stories, kisses if you’re brave enough. he likes to think you are not, that you would chicken out— it makes him feel better about himself. he imagines you holding hands with him and then shrugs that thought off his mind just as quickly, huffing at the bitter taste it leaves in his mouth as he walks out of the elevator once it reaches his floor.

sunghoon planned to take a shower and sleep, but every thought water downs to nothing when he spots you crouching next to the door with knees pressed up to your chest. he can’t see your face, but he knows you’re sad, and it makes him stop in front of you, his heart accelerating when you look up at him with glistening eyes.

you look miserable.

and sunghoon has no reaction. he’s frozen, hands on his side as he stares at you. he was supposed to laugh at you for your stupidity. but you look so utterly sad and heart broken, god, he wants to punch jay in his throat. yet again, every single thought leaves his mind when his eyes fall back on your face, his hands instinctively opening out to you as he speaks in a voice as soft as a feather.

“let’s go inside,”

004. CANDLELIT 

“he said it was a bet,” you speak over the silence, fiddling with your fingers. you look up at sunghoon— who’s sitting with legs crossed in front of you while you’re curled up in one corner of the couch. “and that he never meant to drag it out for so long but he didn’t know how to tell me,”

“a bet?” he scoffs bitterly, looking away for a fraction of a second before his eyes are back on you. “what an asshole,” 

it’s not the first time sunghoon has said that. in fact, asshole is all and the only word he uses to define jay. you still think it was a stretch, for jay isn’t that bad. sure, he lied to you and played with your feelings— which you will never accept that you had feelings for him because you don’t want to look pathetic— but he wasn’t rude. well, at least he paid for all the three dates you two went on with the locations being some high end restaurants or bakeries. 

on the other hand, sunghoon stares at you in silence. his eyes trace over your sullen face, and then to your fingers. for a second, he considers holding your hands…roommates can do that at least, right? to comfort one another, but then he catches you looking up at him and he averts his gaze to a distant corner. “don’t start crying now!”

“i’m not! i didn’t even like him that much…” and he can’t help but suppress his smile at the pout on your face as you refuse to look at him. it’s adorable, he never thought he would ever say that, but it’s true. your mannerisms are cute, you’re cute, and it’s eating his brain cells.

“is that so? you talked about him like you two were in love or something,”

“stop it!”

he stares at you quietly for a few seconds again. even though you’re being defensive out of embarrassment right now, trying to prove to him that you’re not heartbroken, sunghoon knows you’ll be crying the moment you’re behind the closed doors of your room. on other days, he wouldn’t care so much. not more than giving a few pats on a back and telling you to suck it up despite the concern in his voice. today, however, he feels differently.

you got played. it’s your heart that’s broken. you feel like a fool, and yet sunghoon is sitting in front of you, trying to find words amidst awkwardness and hesitation. his heart feels heavy for you. it’s unfathomable on his part.

he suddenly remembers the day you mentioned that jay is better than him. he almost scoffs at that, again. well, you might harbour feelings for the american guy but at least sunghoon never had you holding back your tears. and he swears it would never come to that, if you ever have feelings for him because sunghoon would be a better boyfriend— and then he comes back to his senses as soon as those words register inside his brain, cheeks heating up at the sudden thought before he clears his throat. 

“do you want ramen?” he manages to change the topic ever so swiftly, getting up from the couch and already walking to the kitchen without waiting for your response. apparently, getting away from you would ease his heartbeat, although hearing your voice has just as much effect on him as your presence or a mere thought of you.

“are you cooking?”

he lets out a breathy laugh at your words, getting two packs of ramen from the shelf. “of course, do you think i’d ask you to cook when you look like you went through a divorce and lost the custodies of all your three kids?” 

you frown at his words, although ending up laughing at them just a second later. it’s hard to not laugh at how silly he is sometimes, if you ignore his annoying tendencies. sunghoon puts the water to boil, fighting back a smile at the sound of your laughter. it’s better than seeing you all sad over a guy who doesn’t deserve you.

you get off the couch as well, making your way to the kitchen, wanting to help him since he listened to your sob story. it’s quiet, and you hear slight rumbling outside as you take a quick look at the weather outside through the windows and then within a few seconds, thunder pierces through the silence hanging in the room. 

sunghoon flinches visibly, freezing in his stance before the sound of heavy rain fills the kitchen. he turns on the electric stove and it blows out. all the lights in the apartment go out, darkness settling in and disturbed just as quickly as the room fills with bright flashes of light, illuminating your face for a short second before it’s dark again.

“wait, i’ll get my phone— oh,” you reach out for the back pocket of your trousers, quickly get your phone and turn it on for the flash light before it powers off. “out of battery,”

he takes a blind step into the darkness when it thunders again and he notices you standing with your arms around yourself when the light surges in the room for a moment again. he hopes you won’t push him away if he puts his arm around you, but then you two bump into each other. a quiet apology finds its way out of your lips, and he can tell you’re flustered. 

“where are the candles?” he asks to distract you from the fact that he’s holding your hand and pulling you aside gently, so you don’t crash into each other again. your hands feel oddly warm in this cold weather, and it only flutters his heart even more.

“second shelf from the right i think,” your voice is interrupted by thunder again and your hands instinctively tighten around his fingers. and then a loud thud follows, causing you to gasp slightly. “are you okay?”

“i can’t fucking see,” his voice is strained, oozing off pain as he lets go off your hands. you open your mouth to speak before he bumps into something again. something falls off the counter, perhaps the spoon by the sound of it and he apologises shortly after. it’s harder to navigate around his own apartment, more than he had imagined.

sunghoon manages to find the candles, setting them on the counter with pure intuition before lighting one of it up with the lighter he always carries around in his pocket. he turns around, almost bumping into you and before he could say anything, he sees you pressed up against one of the counters, face illuminated by the dim candle light. 

you’re close, too close, he’s afraid you can hear his heart going crazy at the proximity. his mind is telling him to step aside but he’s too lost looking in your eyes, ( as you are too ) with you looking so impossibly beautiful under the faint golden glow. 

“is this okay?” he whispers softly and you simply nod, not a word coming out of your mouth as you find yourself entranced by his face. sunghoon has always been aphrodite’s son, as his admirers would call him, and now that you’re seeing him so closely, you’re realising he’s something much more beautiful.

it doesn’t slip your attention how his gaze settles on your lips for a quick second, your body tensing up at the sudden movement. your breath hitches as he leans closer, dipping his head down. your heart is racing while he feels like his heart has stopped— it’s timeless, as he finds himself just a few centimetres away from your lips, not wanting to stop even though he gives you a chance to pull back, whispering softly, “can i?”

you nod. and sunghoon doesn’t waste another second, capturing your lips with his. 

it’s still at first, with your lips only pressed up together for a few seconds. it’s only a few seconds after he pulls back ever so slightly, and then tilts his head to the other side and goes in for another kiss, this time moving his lips slowly against yours. he feels you tense up for a brief while and then melting as you kiss him back, your fingers lacing around his tenderly. you flinch when it thunders again, breaking the kiss, but feeling shivers down your spine as you feel his breath on your lips. 

he takes a few seconds, fingers ghosting up your hands to rest on your waist, tugging you closer as he brushes his lips against yours. “focus on my lips,”

and he kisses you again, this time a bit more firmly, albeit it’s slow and gentle at first, his lips moving against yours in a way that's both comforting and exciting. but as the moments pass, he presses in deeper, more insistently. he lets his body press more firmly against yours, his chest touching yours as his tongue gently teases at the seam of your lips. it was working, the way his lips move against yours, it calms your nerves from the thunder but lights them up again when he nibbles gently on your lower lip, his fingers digging into the skin of your waist as he continues to kiss you so fervently. 

it takes a passing second for you to realise what you’re doing. it surprises you, however not enough to pull back, or maybe the way his tongue feels against yours stops you from doing so. you’d be lying if you say you hadn’t thought of kissing him before— as early as two days after moving in. and now that you’re actually kissing him, everything feels like a fever dream.

he tucks your chin up with his fingers, pulling you in closer to deepen the kiss. he is a good kisser, sunghoon uses that to boast about himself, he has always been good at this— kissing, bragging, making your knees weak, and all you could do was melt into him wet and sloppy kisses that he plants on your skin. 

he dips his head down to your neck, pressing sloppy, open mouthed kisses down the column of your throat, pulling your blouse aside to get a better access to your collarbones and shoulders. it felt like his body has a mind of its own, and he’s only following right behind. when a soft gasp leaves your lips, he moves back to your lips again, wanting to swallow every little sound you make that makes his mind haywire. 

your breaths are heavy, hands around his neck with fingers grazing the skin of his nape. a movement that makes him moan softly in the kiss as he presses you against the counter, holding you between his arms. his hand that's resting on your hip moves up, tracing the curve of your waist and then sliding under your shirt to rest on your bare skin, lips curling up in a subtle smirk as he hears you gasp yet again. 

“sunghoon—” you pull back, getting a quick glance at his half-lidded eyes when the lightning from the thunderstorm fills the room. he can still feel your laboured breathing on his lips and it does nothing but pull him in even more. after all, sunghoon would be lying if he said he didn’t imagine doing this with you.

“we’ll stop,” he pecks your lips, then trailing his lips down your jawline and to your neck, leaving a trail of gentle kisses along your skin. “when the candle goes out,” 

005. WHERE THE LINE FADES

when sunghoon wakes up the next morning, he’s met with cold empty sheets on the side and the memories from last night start flooding his mind. his heartbeat accelerates at the mere thought of you, especially how you were last night and every time his name fell off your lips in bliss and pleasure— he would’ve preferred waking up to you rather than emptiness. 

he lays idly for a few minutes and stares at the ceiling, looking for where it all had started. was it the day you told him jay asked you out? maybe not, he doesn’t like to think of himself as a jealous person. it must’ve been when you asked for his opinion on your outfit, he tells himself, you looked too good to be true that day. a few seconds more and he sits up with a soft groan, seemingly unable to find answers to any of his questions.

the weather seems to have improved as he notices the cosy sunlight outside. he slips on this shirt before walking down to the shared bathroom, rubbing his eyes softly and brushing his fingers through his hair with a sigh. he puts his hand on the door knob and looking up in surprise when it opens on the other side.

“oh,” the slight hint of shyness on your face doesn’t escape his gaze, just like how enchanting you look this early in the morning with hair wet from the shower. you bite slightly on your lower lip before the awkwardness in the air is disturbed by your voice. “morning,”

actually, it must’ve all started the day you moved in.

“morning,” he replies back, rubbing his nape and looking away. the weight of questions lingering around makes it hard for him to look in your eyes. “would you like to have breakfast?”

you nod and follow him into the kitchen after making a short trip to your room. 

you steal a few glances at him while eating your breakfast, feeling your palms sweat at the thought of bringing it up to him. you avoid it for a few minutes, tossing the question around in your head while trying to make small talks about the ketchup, as bad as it could get. it feels a bit suffocating until you finally decide to address the elephant in the room. “so about last night—” 

“it was a mistake,” he cuts you off immediately, a heavy pause following shortly after. he looks up in your eyes for the first time since the morning. “let’s just forget it,”

and his words leave a bitter taste in your mouth. it could’ve been just another one night stand for you had it not been with sunghoon— your roommate, the person you see everyday, the person who managed to give you butterflies the day you moved in. your fingers tighten around the spoon and you consider arguing back for a moment before you push that idea further back in your head.

it could be just another thing added to the lists of things that have been buried, like the time you and sunghoon almost kissed in the elevator last year.

“right,” you nod quietly, convincing yourself that it’s not a big deal. that he’s just another guy in your life like jay. actually, you don’t feel like wanting to compare them anymore. you don’t know where the line marking the difference fades. “of course, yeah,”

you don’t even like the sound of that.

“yeah,”

you don’t wait another minute before leaving your unfinished breakfast on the table and going to your room. his eyes follow your movements, conscience nudging him to chase after you. he contemplates it for a while, and then you walk out with your bag. “i’ll see you after classes,”

and then sunghoon doesn’t see you for the rest of the morning.

or the day, in fact. usually, you two end up bumping into each other at least once, but sunghoon doesn’t see you around for the whole day. he skips spanish, deciding to go back to his apartment earlier than usual. he turns on the tv, deciding to watch a football watch with beer on the side while waiting for you. an hour passes, then another, and another.

there’s no sign of you.

it isn’t until he rings up a few of your friends that he hears that you’re staying over at giselle’s for the night. he wouldn’t blame you, couldn’t, not after everything that went down a night ago. you needed some space and so did he, but somewhere inside he wondered if he should’ve been honest with you when you brought up that topic during breakfast instead of saying the first thing that came to his mind and dismissing it.

but, he dismisses it again, letting you be on your own for as long as you need, knowing you’d come back soon.

which you do, the very next day, much to his surprise. he had expected you to avoid him for at least a week. he notices the way you look when you return early in the morning, tired and exhausted as if you hadn’t got a single ounce of sleep. there’s silence engulfing him but you walk to your room before he could even open his mouth to speak. and then you ignore him for the rest of the day.

he starts feeling annoyed at some point, trying to come up with a reason for your actions. he tries striking up conversations with you and you give short responses, or just nod. when you walk away without answering him when he asked about your day, sunghoon wanted to grab your wrist and pull you back for a second, but he dismisses that idea just as soon as it pops up in his head. he doesn’t even realise how quickly time passes in silence, not until he returns from heeseung’s apartment after spending two nights and one day with him and jake and checks his phone, realising it’s already close to being a week till you’re gone radio silent. he notices a few texts, mostly his study group that have been planning meet-ups to study, one that he rarely attends. his eyes especially squint in confusion at the texts from your mother, saying she had been trying to get in touch with you but getting no response. 

he was on his way to his room when he heard the door unlock. a pause, the click of the doorknob strikes through the silence, followed by your footsteps. he takes a few seconds to sort out his thoughts before speaking. “your mom texted me since you weren’t picking up her phone,”

“my phone died,” you give a simple response, almost too quickly for his liking. he lets his eyes follow your movements as you take off your shoes and jacket, putting it on the couch. 

it takes him back to the day you told him about jay asking you out. 

it was exactly the same— you arrived late, your phone had died. he was asking the same questions, albeit laced with annoyance. today, it’s hesitation, maybe slight doubt. sunghoon can’t stop you from seeing jay, but the idea of you being with him bothers him more than expected. so, he follows up with yet another question. 

“where have you been?” he asks, wanting to maintain a casual demeanour even though his heart is pounding in his chest just from being near you. he isn’t expecting any response, actually, however he’s met with surprise when you actually reply. 

“with jay,” the words fall from your mouth as if you’re used to them, used to saying his name. there’s an awkward pause before you clarify. “we had dinner together. he wanted to apologise properly,”

“that’s— that’s great,” he manages to squeeze out, but sunghoon thinks jay could’ve left you alone instead of meeting you if he wanted to apologise so bad.

you definitely had feelings for jay, even though they didn’t go as deep for you to come home sobbing your eyes out the day you learnt the truth. to sunghoon, that is enough of a reason to hate him even more. just the mere thought of your heart sinking whenever you’d even think of jay made him fist his hands, nails almost digging in the palm of his hands. 

sunghoon doesn’t have much experience with girls. in fact, none at all. flings are one thing, and girlfriends another. he has had both— none too serious. the first time someone asked him out was in highschool, although he’s surprised it didn’t happen much earlier. that time, just agreed to go out with her because his friends were in relationships too and he didn’t want to fall behind. it wasn’t soon before it turned into a competition after he got into university. not his best self, it isn’t something he’s proud of now that he thinks about it. 

and sunghoon isn’t half better than jay in that aspect, although obviously not as bad as to bet on going on a date with another girl while he already has a girlfriend. however, if you had feelings for him— as he thinks while watching you walk to your room— he wouldn’t let a single tear fall from your lips. 

“about that night,” he follows you into your room, practically hearing his heartbeat echo through his ears. he gulps nervously when he notices you looking at him with a sliver of hope in your eyes. “it wasn’t a mistake,”

“oh,” and you stop in your tracks, having no idea how to respond. an awkward pause follows as you bite your lower lip habitually before speaking, feigning a casual tone. “well, we can still put it behind—”

“i don’t want to,” he blurts out, cutting you off mid sentence. you notice how his voice is quiet as always, yet there’s panic and anxiousness behind those eyes. “i mean, i tried to, but it’s difficult. you’re always on my mind,”

there’s a silver of determination behind his voice. it’s surprising and equally anticipated. sometimes, he feels like he thinks of you every minute no matter what he’s doing. it was never this bad, these days even the regular banters between you two give him butterflies. and sunghoon understand that he might be far from your type in men. perhaps, you actually prefer someone like jay, who treat you to a fancy dinner to apologise, or maybe that guy from a few months ago who can’t remember the name of. 

you and sunghoon can be polar opposites and he would still be standing here, fingers fidgeting nervously with the hem of his denim jacket, looking so uncharacteristically out of place. he would choose to have this talk again, as much as he hates confronting, because it never about who your type is and always about the fact that you’re sunghoon’s type— as he realises this when you tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, looking at him with lips pressed together. you look cute, more so when you’re awkward, and he can’t believe he’s coming to terms with this but god, he is falling for you. 

he is falling hard, and falling deep. it’s nothing like him, you make him nervous, almost as if knocking him out of air whenever your eyes meet, and he would gladly suffocate to death. it was quiet with too many questions hanging above his head, and he noticed the way you fiddle with your fingers with the cutest expression known to mankind and sunghoon knew he was screwed. 

“i’ve got it so bad for you, yn, really,” —he speaks as if he’s out of breath due to the nervousness— “really bad. i tried to keep you out of here,” he said, pointing at his chest, cheeks flushing red as the words fell off his lips. “but you won’t go, you just won’t.”

and sunghoon has never been so…out of place, for the lack of better words. it’s amusing, even to you, the way he is right now. the sunghoon from three weeks ago wouldn’t even care but he, now, is pouring out all of himself, as if stripping him naked of his emotions and letting him see what lies behind the suave smiles and prideful words. as if showing you how easily you have him going crazy, right out of his mind and how he can’t help but just stare blankly as his eyes travel down to your lips occasionally— as they do now— and it leaves you in a frenzy when you notice it. 

“i can’t stop thinking about that night— not in a weird way, just…” and you’re just standing in front of him, trying not to laugh at his antics. he’s cute, a pause, what the fuck. and then you just go along with it, knowing there’s no point denying it anymore now that you two are having this conversation.

you notice his little mannerisms, like how he can’t look in your eyes for the life in him, how he keeps shifting his weight from one leg to the other. it’s adorable, especially the way he can have all the attention in the room with just his mere presence. that’s sunghoon for you, with a presence so heavy it’s loud even when he’s silent. it’s so loud you can practically hear his mind, of all the words you know he wants to say but can’t. there’s a hitch in his breath, his eyes meet yours for the first time in the past few minutes— i like you— they say, and the next thing sunghoon knows is that you’re kissing him. 

“i like you too,” you whisper against his lips after pulling back, your lips brushing against his. sunghoon feels like every single nerve in his body has been sparked, giving him goosebumps when you slowly intertwine your fingers with his.

of course, you know how he feels even before he could say it out loud. maybe, he just made it obvious for you to guess, otherwise sunghoon likes to think of himself as someone who can hide his feelings well. he lets go of your hands as soon as he feels you lace your fingers with his and instead, cups your cheeks ever so tenderly and leans down to capture your lips with his, smiling in the kiss. “i love you,”

��ᗜ˂ : if you made it till here, i'm sending each one of u kisses >< thank u for reading, i hope u liked it. ps i had to put my heart aside and write jay's name ... never again will i put my man thru this huhu TT he's too good to do these things

[sanrolii]

Hiii saw u were open for reqs :)) if its okay can i request the jjk students (toge and maybe yuta if possible) and something about how they act around reader when they started having a crush on them but reader doesnt know >< huhu tysm i hope this is interesting for you, have a good day!! <3

of course babe!! i also threw yuuji in there because i just love that boy 😩

yuuji:

•he makes it so obvious he has a crush on you, it’s pretty much impossible to not know. he isn’t quiet at all about his adoration for you, and loves to show and tell you just how much he cares!

•this boy is constantly complimenting you! whether to your face or to his friends, he thinks you have zero flaws and could brag about you all day long!

•you’re his official movie partner! he loves to take you out to the theater to watch his favorite classics, and always treats you to food afterwards as a thank you for spending time with him!

•he would definitely confess to you himself (that’s if you didn’t hear it through the grapevine already, since he’s already told everyone how much he adores you), and he would keep it simple. he would probably take you out to dinner or on a walk to confess, something simple but still romantic!

yuuta:

•he’s so nervous around you. he is constantly blushing whenever you talk to him, and he gets teased so badly because of it.

•he loves to spend whatever time he can get with you, whether it be in or out of school. struggling with a certain subject? he’s more than happy to help you study! need a sparring partner? he’s already in the field waiting for you! hungry? dinners on him tonight!

•while yuuta thinks you are a great friend and has no doubts you you think of him as a great friend too, he feels stuck in the friendzone with you. no matter how much his friends try to convince him you like him back, he just can’t fully believe them! there’s always something stopping him from confessing to you.

•unless you do something to make it very clear you see him as more than a friend (ex. hold his hand in public, kiss his cheek when telling him goodnight) you’d have to be the one to confess first. he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything, and doesn’t want to ruin your friendship, so he just keeps his feelings to himself. once you do confess though, he’s all over you! he just can’t contain his love for you anymore!

toge:

•you guys are definitely a best friends to lovers trope. there’s no doubt about it.

•when toge first realized he liked you, not a lot changed in your guys relationship. you’d still hangout after class, help each other study, play video games, crack jokes to each other. but over time he’d start to become more affection wjth you. small things like resting his head on your knee while gaming with you, or hugging you before you leave his dorm for the night.

•i don’t think it would be very obvious to your guys’ friends that he liked you. in public he would still just act like your best friend, it was behind closed doors he’d be extra affectionate with you.

•since he can’t speak himself, he loves to hear you talk! he is always encouraging you to talk about anything to him, whether it be something personal or just reading a book to him. he loves it so much.

•i think after awhile if you didn’t get the hint after all his extra affections, he’d confess to you in a very casual way. probably jut while playing video games together in his room, he’d randomly tell you how he feels and wait for you to either reject him or share the feelings. either way he’d still want to be your best friend!

[valeriele3]

I want a Sagau/Imposter Au! Where the Reader “forgives” everyone but doesn’t trust them and always on edge/cautious around people especially the Archons. Then one day Reader finds their phone and manages to charge it, now they spend 24/7 on their phone and everyone thinks it’s a special holy artifact and are jealous on the amount of attention their phone is taking

Now add a crossover.

(Imma use Enstars(or maybe TWST?) since why not? Plus it’s Tori's birthday

“Your Grace”

“…”

“Your Grace~”

“…”

“YOUR GRACE, DARLING, LOVE, YOUR HIGHNESS..!!”

“Hm..?”

“Ahem..Your Grace, I don’t mean to question or command you but..It’s been a whole week and you haven’t put that artifact down for even a second..How about a break? With me of course! Ehe”

“No.”

”But—“

“Do you have hearing problems Barbatos? Their Grace clearly said “No” to your foolish request”

“Oh shut up old man! Stop acting like you aren’t bothered or jealous.”

“I heard you crying last night saying things like “HuHu their grace doesn’t love me anymore huhuhu’”

“Stop spouting lies. I did not.”

Ring ring

Venti and Zhongli turn their heads to the sound

“Hello~? Ah..Ritsu!”

‘Who—’ Venti and Zhongli think at the same time

*Giggle* “How’re you doing? Have you been well? You didn’t have trouble sleeping did you?”

“..Couldn’t sleep well? What happened..?”

“Oh..Ah..I would love to cuddle with you right now to help you but I can’t. I unfortunately can’t go back since I don’t know how to open the portal”

“I promise I’ll try to get back as soon as possible! Oh right, are the others doing okay without me?”

“..Mhm..Okayy..Sleep well Ritsu..Love you bye~”

“Ahem..Your Grace who was that?”

“YOU..YOU LOVE WHO?! Y-YOUR GRACE WHO WAS THAT?!”

Zhongli sends Venti a deathly glare

“Ah..I mean, can I please have a friendly talk with them? For uh research purposes of course..!”

“Wait— Your Grace..! Come back..!”

“You idiot! You scared them away!”

And so you leave them in that room unaware that a “few” people happened to eavesdrop “overhear” what happened a few minutes ago

I picked Ritsu bc I was like “why not make the characters think Reader sleeps or cuddles with someone in their original world? Like a lover”

This could I guess also work maybe with Leona? Like him calling his lovely herbivore to idk complain or something about how Reader isn’t doing their job a.k.a being a pillow for Leona

[snzunii]

YOU BREAK UP WITH THEM.

+ tags. angst, hurtful words (from ran huhu), breaking up, established relationships + characters. sanzu haruchiyo, ran haitani x f!reader (separately) + word count. 0.7k + note. hello. ><

sanzu haruchiyo.

“i’m tired.” 

sanzu looked at you with furrowed brows; the phone that previously got his attention was now discarded on the coffee table in front of him, his brows raised when you chuckled bitterly—you were wondering what would make him look at you—and now, you got your answer. 

“then go get some rest.”

“no, tired of us. tired of you.” you said nonchalantly, as if the words that you were saying weren't hurting him—as if it weren't hurting you. “let’s break up.”

sanzu wasn't surprised at all.

he also don't expect you to say anything anymore; that was enough for him. because that was it; you really became tired of him. 

your face and actions were enough to tell him that you weren't gonna do this anymore. that you were not gonna wait for him to tell you what’s wrong instead of setting you aside.

you weren't gonna wait for him to open himself up to you. he didn't need any explanation, you were simply tired of him. and for the first time you do not expect him to say anything, to finally say his feelings out loud.

you do not expect him to beg for you not to leave because you know that’s not him, he’s not going to do that. you know he would choose to stay quiet and the next, act as if nothing happened and everything was okay. 

you were tired of fighting for the two of you, for the mismatched efforts on your relationship. you were done defending him to yourself that maybe you can still do it—that even though he’s not showing it he wanted you to stay. 

it was the same one word but the impact on the both of you were different. you felt free as he was uttering that word, you felt like the big thing that was weighing you down was slowly getting light but for him, saying that one word was the hardest that he’s ever done.

he didn’t want to. he wanted to say that he would try, but he doesn’t know how to. he just wished that you’d stay a little longer until he figures it out—but he knows that you’ve reached your limit.

that you would crumble and lose yourself the longer you stay with him. 

“okay.”

ran haitani.

“could you give me some fucking space? it’s getting annoying.” ran said that made you stop, your hand that was clinging on his arm was discarded.

it’s been almost a month since you last saw him. this is the only time that you get to see and talk to each other because of your tight schedules and you wanted to cherish it—make the most out of it, but he was acting a bit different today.

“am i doing something wrong?” you asked, a bit teary eyed that made him roll his eyes. his actions feels like your heart was getting ripped into pieces. “i-i just wanted to be close to you. we barely saw each other this month.”

“i know but do you have to be literally on me-” he stopped and sighed, “see. this is why i don’t want to say anything. could you please not cry here. i feel like i can’t do or say shit cause it’ll make you cry like a fucking baby” 

you weren’t really crying but you couldn’t stop a tear from falling. you were getting embarrassed and hurt. though, the pain was much more prominent; your chest was tightening every second you were looking at his face.

he’s different because he’s tired. he’s unhappy. he has been for the past few weeks—how could you not see it? he doesn’t want any more of this. 

you almost begged him to go on this date too.

“then you’ll overreact on the slightest-”

“i wanna break up.” you said and he chuckled.

it took all of your strength to say that to him. to really mean it. this is how much you love him, that you’d want to set him free from you.

“see.” he rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders, “fine. let’s break up.”

ran thought that this was just one of your pretentiousness, that you were getting dramatic over the things that he said. you do this often before—break up with him but the next day you’ll text him and say that you couldn’t do it without him.

he was assured that you'll be back and take back what you said but why did it hurt the next morning when there weren’t a text from you? 

[gyuaesp]

a new kind of love mingyu x reader

genres: angst, unrequited love, not proofread (sorry huhu), reader is so in love with mingyu it’s suffocating but mingyu can’t provide it back.

wc: exactly 400

idk guys i just looovveee making sad unrequited love writes… its so fun… this one is short as well but pls do enjoy :)))

it’s been two years, fifteen hours, and 27 seconds since mingyu last messaged you.

through those years, your mind pondered about what you might’ve done wrong. was it because you tried to reciprocate a relationship that wasn’t even there? it couldn’t have been. if he hated you that much why didn’t he just tell you instead of leaving? something wasn’t right in his mind.

you had so many questions for mingyu that were left unanswered. all of them were about love, heartbreak, and resentment.

maybe all of the “i love you” messages sent when you two still remembered each other’s faces didn’t matter anymore. maybe he got over it, became a dad, and grew up. maybe you can’t let go because you’re unable to look at another person without trying to make out their features into his.

you sacrificed everything to be in love. you bled, you lost, and you wept—but why didn’t he stay?

were you not worthy of being in love? were you born to be alone? was mingyu sent down to earth to help make you realize that statement?

you still remember the night you confessed. it’s a core memory for gods sake.

the cold night on your balcony. a cigarette in one hand and beer can in the other. you could still feel the goosebumps on your skin every time this comes up in your mind.

the way mingyu looked at you under the moonlight. the sound of cars zooming past becoming muffled by his gaze. your drunken eyes making out the perfect symmetry of his face, the way his mouth was slightly open with a gasp of realization. he was in love.

you still remembered the taste of his lips mixed with the bitterness of beer. his pillows for lips going against yours. the roughness of your sheets going against your skin as he went down on your marked body.

the feeling of euphoria in that room still remains. the emptiness and pain lingers without his presence. you were a mess without him. the small apartment, now scattered with clothes on the couch and empty bottles, longing for love just like you.

as you opened the letter left on your doorstep labeled with your name, a small huge piece of your soul crushed seeing that it was mingyu’s wedding invitation.

the love you have for him will stay in your blood, even if it wasn’t meant to be.

[shenachigans]

LOST YOU | Natasha Romanoff

PAIRING: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

CW: angst no comfort, mentions of cheating (Nat), implied that Nat has a cock, implied WandaNat, pregnancy (Wanda)

PROMPT: 44 — “I need you to tell me the truth” Prompt pt. 3

A/N: Trying to cure my writer’s block by using prompts (I have no idea what I wrote, kindly excuse this mess). First time writing for Nat. Let’s just say vision was human and can impregnate for more drama. We love drama. *wink wink*

A/N (4/3/23): I added a paragraph or so to make it seem that the baby is Nat’s, which means I debunked the whole “Vision is human and can impregnate” thing where we don’t know if the baby was Vision’s or Nat’s, but it was clear from the beginning that it’s Nat’s huhu.

WORDS: 1,721

Lost You — Pt. II

(FANFIC IS UNDER THE CUT!)

“I need you to tell me the truth,” you croaked out as you tried to hold your ground from breaking down in front of her, but the crack in your voice ruined your facade. You can’t keep letting her get away with things, not anymore. You’re tired and drained. You couldn’t do this anymore, for your sake. You didn’t want to hate her, even when you should, considering she had been hurting you. “You can’t keep lying to me, Nat. ”

Natasha expected to see you sitting in the middle or at the edge of your shared bed, doing something to occupy yourself as you waited for her to retire to your shared chambers, but she wasn’t expecting this. She wasn’t expecting the usually prim and proper room littered with clothes and your luggage—and you, putting your clothes away, your back facing her. You shakily breathe, “How long have you been seeing her?” She hesitantly walked toward you, heels clacking against the wooden floor with each step. “What are you talking about, detka—” 

You interrupted her with a scoff when you turned to face her with a pained and angry expression, and she immediately shut up upon the sight. She always acts clueless for someone who could easily see through someone’s facade. You thought that it was pathetic of her to deflect what you said. “Don’t change the subject, Romanoff!” you hissed. Oh, you’re mad. “Stop lying and tell me the truth! You know what I’m talking about.” 

Only when she saw your glistening eyes with unshed tears that she realizes what you said. Her stomach churned, and her heart dropped. Natasha balled her fists, and her eyes widened, but she refused to look at you and deemed that the floor was suddenly more interesting to look at. Regardless, she reluctantly nodded, indicating that she would tell you the truth. Her eyes pooled with unshed tears as a wave of regret and guilt washed over her. She got caught—right before she could end things with her. 

“How long?” Nat shivered at your tone. Her eyes flickered to yours and caught a glimpse of your expression before you turned away and continued gathering your things. It was emotionless—dead—and it was because of her. She flinched when you repeated your question with more context, more daggers through your heart as you emphasized that word. “How long have you been cheating on me? With Wanda?”

“Two—” Natasha swallowed the lump in her throat, and it felt like she had digested a bitter pill. She cringed at her words. “O-Only two months.” You closed your eyes, and your dam of tears shattered. Your cheeks stung as salty droplets cascaded down your skin. ‘Only two months’? Three years of marriage down the drain because of a sixty-day affair? Nat saw you tremble and put a hand on your mouth to keep yourself from sobbing, but it didn’t work. She wanted to hold you in her arms but knew it would only worsen the situation.

“WHY?!” you snapped, turning around to face her again. Your eyes and cheeks were red as tears continued to roll down your face. “Was I not good enough? Did I not please you enough? I gave you everything! I gave you my soul and body to use as you pleased, so why?!” You saw that Natasha was silently crying but was trying to stop herself from doing so. You knew the answer, but you carried on regardless.

You weren’t giving her enough attention because of your demanding work as a doctor and she was an Avenger, both needed by the world, but you gave her everything when you could. Natasha just needed more, but you weren’t there when she needed you, so she found someone else: her fellow Avenger who had just lost Vision. It was supposed to be a one or two-time affair for meaningless sex, but the ex-assassin kept returning to her, even when you were free from work. She was going to end things before she lost you, but she was too late.

“Does she have something I don’t?” Natasha denies it. “Does she let you use her better than I do?” She denies it. “Does she make you happier than I do?” She denies it. “Then why did you not choose me over her?” She doesn’t answer, and you sigh, running your hands through your face before placing a hand on your chest as you mutter, “I’M YOUR WIFE, FOR FUCKING SAKE, NATASHA!” The word ‘wife’ triggered her to fall to her knees and watch as you sat at the edge of the bed in frustration, hand holding your face as more tears ran down your face. “You could’ve told me you wanted more. I would’ve given everything up to make you happy. You just needed to tell me, not her…” 

You were a sobbing mess because of Nat, and it greatly pained her how badly she had hurt you. She doesn’t even know why she keeps coming back to her because you are the one she loves, not her. Natasha shuffled on her knees before you, gently grabbing your wrists as she pressed her forehead against yours, mumbling, “I’m sorry,” over, and over again. You had so many unanswered questions, but the answers will only add more daggers to your bleeding heart. You couldn’t take more pain, not when a bullet of news had pierced your heart hours ago. “Divorce papers are coming in a few days,” you sniffled. “I don’t want anything; just leave me be.” You didn’t want this. You didn’t want to leave her, but you couldn’t stay. 

The ex-assassin’s eyes widened at your statement. You’re leaving her. She doesn’t want to lose you. You were the greatest thing that had happened to her, but she overlooked the fact and messed up. “No, no, no, no,” she rambled. “Please, let me make things right. Give me another chance. Please. I can’t lose you, Y/n.” Natasha’s tone was genuine. You looked at her eyes, and they were begging you to stay and forgive her, but you couldn’t. A cheater will always be a cheater.

“Wanda revealed your affair and begged for my forgiveness this morning, begging me to forgive you and that it was her fault for causing this mess.” You bitterly chuckled. “I was going to give you one more chance because I love you… but she’s with a child.” Your future ex-wife’s eyes widened when you uttered the words she feared. Her worst fear about her two-month fling came true, but she couldn’t accept it. “T-There must be a mistake!” Nat’s eyes were pleading that it was false news. “It can’t be my child!” 

As much as Natasha hurt you for cheating and getting someone else pregnant, it pained you to see the horrified expression on her face. You wanted to hold her in your arms, but it will only keep you from leaving. “The only one she was ever with when she lost Vision was you,” you trailed off and reluctantly cupped her face, making her flinch and tighten her hold on your wrists. “Vision is a robot, Nat. He can’t physically have children with Wanda even if they wanted to…” Natasha wanted to cut you off, to shut you up from speaking, but she was too broken and in shock to do anything, making you say your words to slap her in the face with a reality check; “The baby is yours.”

You felt her hands tremble, and your lap was damp with her tears. You didn’t want to stay with a cheater, even if you loved her with all your heart. You can’t be mad—you weren’t mad— just sad and disappointed at yourself for not making her happy. You deserved this. “I can’t stay, Natalia, even if I wanted to.” The older woman cried, tears gushing down her face and pleading with you that she can make this work like how it was before when nothing was wrong, “W-Wanda isn’t in the right emotional state to carry a child, she’s still grieving a-and, and and she wouldn't want to raise a child she doesn’t even want—”

“She wishes to keep the child, Nat… I let her,” you tenderly, yet sadly, smiled as you pressed your forehead against hers. The room was filled with questions about why you approved Wanda’s selfish request. You let another woman carry your wife’s child, but that's the thing, Natasha was soon to be your ex-wife. While it hurt you that Wanda wanted to keep the child, you realized that the child had nothing to do with breaking your relationship with Nat. It was Natasha’s own actions, as well as yours, that led to this situation. You knew Wanda was grieving Vision’s loss, and you hoped her baby would bring her comfort and help her have a breakthrough. Natasha hated how you were always so selfless, willing to sacrifice yourself for someone else’s happiness.

“Don’t leave me, Y/n, please. I can make this work, I’ll cherish you, I love you—please—” Natasha sobbed, and you felt her tears sting your tear-stained-cheeks. She knew that you wanted the child to grow up in a healthy family, which means you had to be out of the picture so they wouldn’t grow up feeling that they were a mistake and ruined a relationship that wouldn’t work out anyway. You want them to feel loved, to be surrounded by the people who raised them. You’re leaving because you love Natasha and you consider her child as your own, but she doesn’t want to lose you.

You let go of her face to leave, but Nat’s immediate vice grip around you prevented you from doing so. She got up from the floor and fell onto you, pressing her body against yours as your back collided with the mattress. She prevented you from leaving by tackling you into a hug, straddling your waist as her arms wrapped around your torso. The ex-assassin was stronger than you, so trying to get out of her grip would be futile. You reluctantly wrapped your arms around her neck as tears started to run down your face again, mirroring her. Natasha’s sobs and another wave of apologies filled the room. You let her hold you for the last time because she knew she truly had lost you.

© shenachigans — do not plagiarise, translate, repost, or copy.

[memo-blogs]

Here With Me (part I)

Pairing: Spawn Astarion x female (Durge*) Tav *not relevant in this segment/will come apparent later in the story

Tags: angst, fluff, foreplay

Summary: Months after the end of the game (SPOILERS, ye be warned) Tav gets bothered by Astarion's absent looks in bed and it results in NO SEX, heck >:( Just when things were getting amazing!

A/N: This is a three-parter series where things are oof before they get nice and spicy. I hope someone wants to read something so I feel like sharing the rest… Ps. waiting on my AO3 account, who knew you had to queue for one for like 2 weeks!? If and when I get one, there is spicier than Tumblr allows fanart inspired by this fic available, huhu. Hope you like! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They returned home, walking hand in hand down the now familiar forest path to the small opening in the woods that revealed their cozy two-story home in the woods. Tav glanced to her side to her partner Astarion, and smiled. He caught her looking, and smiled back. They were returning from an exhilarating night of trying to teach the vampire spawn in the Underdark to navigate their new normal. There had been peril, confusion, unpleasant surprises – all the things they had grown so accustomed to tackle and turn into success together. Tav recalled how, despite starting with snark and frustration at one of the spawn Gur kids losing control of her hunger and lunging at an innocent deep gnome as a result… Astarion had controlled himself. How gently he knelt to the Gur’s level, and let the child know he felt the same hunger, and gave her guidance. In the end, she had hugged Astarion, who enjoyed it more than he let on. It was remarkable how he managed to make controlling their impulses more into a fun game rather than an addiction they’d have to combat for the rest of their undead lives. As they opened the door to their abode, Tav thought back to the months spent with Astarion after defeating the Netherbrain – how little by little, he was less spiteful, less vengeful… and more relaxed and happy. Astarion had become forgiving. He had become kind and caring, in his own way. He was still vain and could not for the life of him stop that sarcastic little tongue of his – but his actions showed he cared about the new life he had built with Tav. He cared about, at the very least, not making things worse when he ventured out into the world. Which was saying a lot, for a vampire. Exhausted, they shed their armours. “Tsk”, Tav tutted as she lovingly tucked one of Astarion’s beautiful locks behind his ear. “Today’s escapades have left you absolutely filthy.” Astarion turned around and began to walk towards their washroom, stretching like a cat as he glanced over his shoulder back at Tav. “Well,” he said with a grin. “I suppose we’ll need to do something about that, darling.” They bathed together and Tav allowed herself to be lost in how much she had come to love this silly man before her. Every day, he seemed more beautiful than the last, and every which way she thought of the person he was, she grew fonder of him. Once clean and dried off, he led them down to their basement bedroom, knowing full well what Tav wanted. She kissed him hungrily and he answered expertly as always. Tav was quickly getting lost in Astarion and all they were sharing, and it was one of the best feelings in the world. Astarion gently pushed her to lie down, and she obliged. Panting, she felt Astarion gently parting her legs, and she opened her eyes to look at what was coming next – only to have her heart sink. There it was again. That thousand yard stare of his. She barely even noticed how masterfully he was caressing her legs and in between to bring her pleasure. She couldn’t really even feel it. Not anymore. The moment was ruined because he wasn’t… present. “Stop”, Tav whispered. 

Astarion looked up, almost as if in a daze. “What?” Tav pulled her legs close to herself, hugging her own knees. She shook her head. “I can’t do this anymore, Astarion.” She looked at him, her face full of sorrow.

“I – what happened? Did I do something wrong?” He looked so scared. Confused. Astarion didn’t understand – he knew he was good, he had done this so many times to her, and countless others. So why was Tav crying?

“I just...” Tav came to sit next to Astarion, and held his hand. Gave it an affirming squeeze. The look he gave her was bewildered. For a while, they sat there awkwardly in silence, holding hands. Finally, Tav let out a shaky sigh.

“Astarion. What am I to you?”

“I’ve told you – you’re the first person I truly care for.”

Tav turned to look at Astarion. “So why -” she took a calming breath of air before finishing her sentence, “why do you have sex with me as if I’m one of your victims?”

“What?”

Tav got up and walked around their room in circles. She waved her hands around as she spoke. “Every time, save maybe the one time by your grave, when you and I are intimate, you’re miles away. You’re not here. You shut down emotionally and just… put your heart and soul somewhere else.” Tav stopped pacing and faced Astarion. “Am I someone you need to forget?”

“Of course not!” Astarion looked like a deer in headlights.

Tav pressed on. “Then why do you perform like this is a duty where you try to be as little a part of it as you can?”

Astarion was beginning to panic, and he wasn’t sure why. “I don’t – you’ve been happy with it so far, haven’t you? What’s changed?” He found safety in being annoyed. “Why is this a problem now?” He spat out.

He was ready to fight. To argue. To even woo her over with his skills and give her what her body obviously craved to make this irritating conversation go away – but he was not ready for how he saw Tav deflate in front of him, and weep silently. With each tear she shed, the anger he was using to hide behind was fading. He was so lost, and afraid. They were silent for a while again, both too afraid to utter the next thing, in case it was the one thing that would sunder them.

“What’s changed?” Tav echoed silently. She quietly walked back to Astarion, and caressed his cheek. She let her hand wander through his white hair, down his neck and to his shoulder. She softly pulled him into a hug. “I love you more than I love myself” she whispered in his ear. She pulled away to look at him again. “And I cannot bear the thought of making you please me. I am not your maker. I am not your owner – I had hoped I was your equal. Your lover”, she finished with a sad smile.

Astarion stammered. “Y-you are!”

“Then where do you go, when we make love? Why do you go, and leave me here alone?”

He wanted to deny it. He wanted to never have this talk. It was too difficult – he just wanted to forget, and enjoy himself. Everything had been so wonderful, so why did she have to bring this up? Why couldn’t this stay buried, like so much of his past? He found himself breathing hard, like he was about to either take a swing at Tav, or run off. Yet she still stood in front of him, waiting. What could he say? What did she want to hear? While rare, Astarion found himself at a loss for words. He couldn’t make out what he felt, he felt too many things – anger, fear, he felt vulnerable, weak… exposed. He settled on making an irritated noise and to look away from Tav. It was all he could muster.

“I love you”, Tav repeated. “And I can’t do this when it feels like you’re still letting yourself be used.” She put on a robe and walked towards the door, stealing one last tearful glance at her vampire companion. “It hurts us both when you do.” And with that, she left.

[saintobio]

saint!! ily and thank u for all the amazing work u do huhu it keeps me going. and idk i can’t stop thinking about a sy scenario where yn goes into a coma or something and they didn’t know she signed a DNR, im curious what satoru and her family would think, even toji and/or akemi. hope ur doing fine and staying healthy queen <3

hello~ well tbh with u that’s gonna devastate gojo 10x worse than when she left for nyc! i’ll leave the rest for ur imagination :D

her family would be strongly against it and do everything in their power to revoke the dnr order.

toji and akemi, i feel like they would respect her decision bc then yn wouldn’t have to suffer on life support anymore.

[ratedfleur]

hao’s gym pic.. oh gosh.. HIS LEGSSSS 😍😍 i wanna know ganda’s reaction to him posting it or sending that to her! his thighs… once he gets home yk the drill! he comes back so teasing and he ignores ganda to tease her even more until she can’t take it! his gege / daddy kink activates along w his strength, degradation, praise and MANY of his other kinks 🙏 (resent it here just incase u didnt see it in the google form! hehe, thank u!)

- 🎻

& "hao’s gym pic.. oh gosh.. how would ganda react to it? and what would happen afterwards? 👀 pogi gege / daddy & strength kink activated LOL"

— nakakainis so much si hao huhu may pa gym pic bigla HELLO?!

hao would've chosen to post it on his ig story, disguised as an update of the week pero gusto niya lang talagang akitin si ganda because she hasn't been giving into her urges lately despite pogi trying to get her to.

getting home to ganda, he would've greeted her sweetly with a quick smooch on her cheek before he goes off to bathe, purposely leaving the bathroom door unlocked para daw pumasok si ganda hihi

of course, it leads to bathroom sex kasi ganda can't ignore her urges anymore kasi she could see pogi through the gaps of the door he left unlocked and yes, talagang hindi nilapat ni pogi yung door so she could see EVERYTHING and i meant everything...........

and the gege / kuya / daddy / AND strength kink activates itself when she lets herself into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her before ganda quickly slips her clothes off before she gets into the shower with pogi who simply smiles smugly before pushing her into the wall to do god knows what

[daisyvisions]

hi hi for the prompts thing could u maybe do 35, 61 and 86 with younghoon pls 🫶🏻 (btw i was so happy when i saw u were taking requests again eheh)

(thank you for patiently waiting anon! ...I hope huhu I'm so sorry! 😭 Hope you like this one!)

Let It Happen

Member: Kim Younghoon (TBZ)

Prompts: 35. “So… You touch yourself to the thought of me? I’d like to see that in action.”, 61. “Let’s make your thoughts a reality, yeah?”, 86. “Look at you, squirming under me, all flushed and pretty looking. Can’t even take a little teasing, can you?”

Warnings: Smut (18+, minors DNI), just the tip 😏 (for a bit), voyeurism, edging, mentions of masturbating (m & f), fingering, unprotected sex, sex toy used (dildo), teasing, dom! tendencies, pet names (angel, baby)

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆.

It had been a while since you and Younghoon had a movie night together. It was a tradition you both had created since you were kids. But with the stress of college, those movie nights had to be put to a pause.

So you could image how excited Younghoon had felt when both your schedules finally matched. His excitement was evident judging by how much he had been rambling on what to watch, who’s assigned to get snacks, the perfect time to watch, etc.

Younghoon had been counting the days til your movie night was gonna happen. He couldn’t wait to spend time with you again and feel your body pressed against his (well mainly because of his long-time crush on you and also get a good view of your squeezed chest… but you didn’t need to know the latter.)

Fast forward to Friday night. Younghoon’s classes had ended earlier than expected. Because he was too excited to see you, he decided to surprise you by driving to your place earlier. The moment he arrived at your place, you gave him the tightest hug and told him to go straight to your room to setup the movie while you start making the snacks.

When Younghoon enters your room, the first thing he sees is a scrunched up piece of clothing at the center of your bed. He takes a step closer and realized it’s one of the shirts he left behind a while back. What was his shirt doing here on your bed?

As he picked it up, he felt a somewhat firm object wrapped beneath the shirt. When he shook the object out of the shirt, he did not expect what was going to fall out at all… a dildo.

His eyes widen at the sight before him, he couldn't even process for a moment what was going on. A dildo, hidden under his shirt? A dildo… hidden under… his shirt… He displayed the most shit eating grin ever the moment he realized what was going on.

“Hey Younghoon what flavor of ramen did you wa-” You instantly froze when you see Younghoon holding his shirt in one hand and the dildo in the other. You feel an major hot flush creeping on your cheeks. Shit, he caught you.

“Care to explain these?” he asks.

“I- It’s because- wait- uhm- well you see-” you couldn't stop stuttering. Younghoon takes calculated steps forward, making sure to invade your personal space while he remains his gaze on you.

“Hmm?” He patiently waits for your response.

“I- I was f-fucking myself with that toy…” You take a big gulp, still looking into his eyes. “… wearing your shirt…”

There was dead silence in the room.

“… I'm so sorry if that’s creepy you just give me comfort and I like you and- and I understand if you don’t wanna be friends anymore-” You blurt out.

Another dead silence filling the air.

This is fucking nightmare. Telling your friend you touch yourself thinking of him, you just want to dig a hole and crawl into it. Just as things were feeling more awkward than they already were, your internal panic gets interrupted with the sound of Younghoon’s question.

“So… You touch yourself to the thought of me?”

At this point, words are all caught up in your throat so you have no choice but to nod. He lifts your chin with his finger and stares into your eyes,

“…I’d like to see that in action.”

Younghoon instructs you to get on the bed and change your clothes into nothing but his shirt on. You rest your back against the headboard, spreading your legs widevwhile you keep eye contact with him. He sits right across you, distancing himself enough to see your glistening cunt in his line of vision.

You start lowering your middle finger and rubbing small circles on your sensitive bud. Younghoon doesn’t miss your facial reaction to the touch, making his cock stir in his pants. You start to let out soft whimpers as you increase the pace.

Oh those pretty sounds you made. The sounds he imagined late at night while fucking himself with his hand. He was practically drooling with the scene in front of him. He had to hear more.

He suddenly grabs the dildo that was rolled beside your hip and inches forward to rub the tip of the dildo at your wet entrance. Without warning, he pushes the toy into your tight hole, making you moan louder than you did earlier.

He follows the pacing of your fingers when pumping the dildo in and out of you, making your legs start to buckle and feel like jelly. You shut your eyes in pleasure, feeling your climax creep on you any second now.

“Are you close?” he wonders.

“Yes! oh my god- shit- I’m gonna-” He quickly removes the dildo out or you. You whine like a brat from the sudden pause to your approaching high. “W-why’d you stop?” You whimper.

Before you know it, Younghoon’s unbuttoning his jeans and pulling his throbbing cock out, his mushroom pink tip drenched in his precum. He pulls your legs towards him, making your back slide down from the headboard to the mattress. His hands pin your wrists down at each side of your head, unable to move from the weight he’s pushing onto you.

He looks down at his cock, aligning it into your entrance and slightly pushing his length in just enough for the tip to get sucked in by your tight hole. You moan at the feeling of his tip rubbing inside you. Desperate to free your wrists so that you could pull his hips closer.

“Look at you, squirming under me, all flushed and pretty looking. Can’t even take a little teasing, can you?”

“Younghoon please. Wanna feel you.. need your cock inside me” you beg. Desperate to feel your walls wrapped around his hard length.

“My pretty angel wants her pussy to get full from my cock? hm? You’re so cute when you beg baby” he chuckles.

He pushes his length a bit more into you slowly until he’s halfway inside. You whine at the fact he hasn’t put it all in, giving him a very pouty face. But you both moan in unison when he suddenly thrusts his hips forward, bottoming out his cock inside you. Once he feels settled, he looks into your eyes with the same shit-eating grin from earlier,

“Let’s make your thoughts a reality, yeah?”

[t-nd-rfoot]

Hi can I please get the 7th prompt from forbidden love w/ either bob or Mickey? Ty!

BEFORE YOU DO aka The Best Man For You

The most important decision should be made at your wedding, not before it.

Summary Mickey asks you to choose between your head and your heart the day before you get married

Pairing Mickey Garcia x engaged!reader

Theme angst

Warning/s reader is engaged to someone else; mentions of cheating; mentions of toxic relationship; emotional cheating?; conflicted feelings; prompt altered to fit dialogue

Word Count 701

Note Hi, Anon! Sorry huhu there was no specified list between the two forbidden love prompt lists so I just chose 😬 Also, sorry if I made you wait for this, I was literally halfway through my first draft when I realized the prompt wouldn't work with it 🙃 nevertheless, I hope you enjoy it and thank you for requesting!

Playlist (coming soon)

If you enjoyed this, please reblog! Reblogs are the best way to support creators (writers, artists, gif makers, everyone!) on this platform. Share the content, share the love!

“Don’t marry him.”

Your eyes shifted across the mirror and found Mickey—your fiancé’s best man—locking the bathroom door behind him and rushing over to you.

“Mickey, what are you—”

You were suddenly wrapped in Mickey’s arms, forehead resting on yours, hands cradling your cheeks.

“Don’t marry him. Please, please, please don’t marry him,” he whispered and begged, “you know he’s not right for you, and you know how I feel about you, and I know deep inside of you, you feel the same way.”

Guilt and longing battled inside you.

It pained you to know that Mickey tugged on your heartstrings more than your fiancé did. He was a good man, you kept trying to convince yourself. He provided for you just like any dutiful partner would. He greeted you with a kiss every morning and night—sometimes, he’ll even look up from his phone as he did so. He always asked you how your day went—before he locked himself up in his study. He showered you jewelry and flowers—only once, you saw someone else’s name on the card. He is a good man, you kept trying to convince yourself, in front of everyone else. And that’s what matters.

But then there was Mickey. It always confused you how he and your husband were related because they were polar opposites. Your fiancé was a talker; he was a listener. Your fiancé was stubborn; he was adventurous. Your fiancé was extravagant; he was simple. But Mickey was also the closest thing your fiancé had for a brother, so you maintained a boundary. And while the two of you have kept things platonic for the most part, you couldn’t help but notice all the subtle comments and gestures that said otherwise.

And little did you know how it hurt him to see your cousin dangle you like a little accessory: nice to show off to everyone only to take you off and stow you away until he needed to use you again. How you had to ask for his opinions on the wedding plans because his cousin couldn’t care less, only wanting to ‘lock you down.’

“I leave for base the day after tomorrow. If we leave now, we have time to get your things ready so you could come with me. We’ll never have to leave each other again.”

“Mick…” Tears welled in your eyes. Not just because your emotions were flooding, but because he was right. You constantly tried to put out the flame you held for him, but you couldn’t deny anymore to yourself that there was always something there. But how would it look to his family—to your fiancé—if you up and left him for his cousin at your dress rehearsal?

Your hands fell from his arms as you shook your head. You wanted this too, but there was too much at stake, and you weren’t sure if you were ready to face the consequences.

“We can’t—”

“No, sweetheart. You can’t.” He didn’t even want you to finish that sentence, not ready to accept your decision to push through with the wedding that isn’t meant to be. “I’ve been wearing my heart on my sleeve for you, and you…throw it away. Every time, you choose him, and I don’t know how much more I can take.” His voice strained of the emotional exhaustion he’s put himself through to do this.

“I’m sorry,” he said, trying to calm down, “but please, please. I promise you, if you do, you won’t ever regret it. Or I’ll be gone. Forever.”

You knew he wasn’t just talking about his deployment anymore. If you pushed through with this wedding, whatever was happening between you can’t go on.

“I…” You couldn’t find the words.

He could sense the wave of emotions inside you. So instead of demanding an answer, he held on tightly to what little patience he had left and kissed your forehead, as though that might soften the battle between your mind and heart.

“We still have time. If you want this, meet me by the fountain outside. I’ll be waiting for you.”

And just as quickly as he came in, he left, waiting for you to make the biggest decision of your life.

Disclaimer  I do not own Top Gun: Maverick or any of its characters. Please do not copy my work or translate without my permission.

(edited layout)

[raikanata]

Banquet Beneath the Clouded Moon - Chapter 2

English translation by @raikanata. Not proofread.

[♪]

Characters: Rinne, Yuta, Sora, Hiyori, Jun

A few hours later

Rinne: Blamery-chan, where do you wanna go?

Rinne: Okay-okay, that way. I guess that’s the park.

Rinne: Blamery-chan, everything OK? Can you keep walking?

Rinne: Don’t push yourself, alright? I’ll pick you up when you’re tired, and we’ll go back.

Rinne: Look at me, walking the dog leisurely on a weekday. How peaceful…

Sora: HaHa~♪ Take a look, Yuu-chan! It’s Gambler-oniisan, walking a dog~!

Yuta: Really. Isn’t that a Yorkshire Terrier? Doesn’t suit him at all.

Yuta: Hello, Rinne-senpai ♪ What’s with the little one? Don’t tell me you kidnapped it?

Rinne: I have a reason, y’know. I’m pet-sitting.

Yuta: Huh, like a side-job?

Rinne: It’s not really a side job. Hiyori-chan tasked me with walking his dog, basically.

Rinne: Oop- Because Yuta-kun put his hand out, Blamery-chan hid behind me.

Yuta: Eh? Is it my fault?

Sora: We’re not scary, y’know? C’mere, c’mere~♪

Rinne: Like Hiyori-chan said, she gets scared and starts trembling if someone she doesn’t know reaches out.

Rinne: But she’s all lovey dovey with me since we live in the same room. Right, Blamery-chan?

Yuta: Ahaha, look at her face. It’s like she’s saying “We’re not that close.”~.

Yuta: But being feared by a dog who likes Rinne-senpai just fine, it's giving me mixed feelings…

Sora: HiHi~♪ Don’t feel bad, Yuu-chan. She was only scared because she “met you for the first time”.

Sora: When we aren’t strangers to her anymore, I’m sure we will get along too~.

Sora: Gambler-oniisan, is her name “Blamery”?

Rinne: Nope. That’s what I call her, but her name’s Bloody Mary.

Sora: HuHu~♪ Bloody Mary, got it!

Sora: Nice to meet you, Bloody Mary! Sora is Sora Harukawa, and this is Sora’s friend Yuuchan~

Sora: Sora and Yuuchan both played “Werewolf Game” together with Dazzling-oniisan¹ before. You might feel scared now, but I’d be happy if we can become friends little by little~

Rinne: Ah, Blamery-chan is sniffing Sora-chan’s hand. Looks like she’s taken an interest in ya.

Rinne: Amazing. When we started living together, she kept her distance from me, and would only barely look at me.

Yuta: It’s like Sora-kun understands the things that animals want to say, huh.

Rinne: Eh, for real?

Yuta: For real, yeah. He interpreted a cat for me before.

Rinne: Interesting. I want to try talking with an animal for once too.

Yuta: Me too. I wonder what kind of stuff they normally think about.

Yuta: Huh? Rinne-senpai, I think a sound came from your phone just now.

Rinne: Oh, it’s a message from Hiyori-chan.

Rinne: “Take a picture while on the walk!”...I almost forgot about that.

Yuta: Picture?

Rinne: Yup. It’s proof that I’m doing the pet-sitting properly.

Rinne: Blamery-chan, c’mere~ Say cheese…☆

Rinne: Ugh, it came out blurry.

Rinne: But still, it’s obviously a picture of Blamery-chan, so… Sent.

Rinne: Hmm? Another reply came.

Rinne: “It’s not cute, redo!”, huh? He’s a client with many orders.

Rinne: Alright Blamery-chan, pay attention to me~☆

Yuta: Ahaha, no picture will be good enough for him, you know~♪

Rinne: It’s hard to photograph animals, though. Yuta-kun, give it a try.

Yuta: Alright~. Sora-kun, could you tell Bloody Mary that we want to take a picture of her?

Sora: HeHe~♪ Sure thing!

Yuta: Okay, say cheese…☆

Yuta: Take a look, it looks pretty good.

Rinne: Ah, that’s cheating, Yuta-kun.

Yuta: Not true~. Nobody told me I can’t ask Sora-kun for help.

Yuta: Hey, Rinne-senpai, why don’t you try again like this now?

Rinne: Alright. Blamery-chan, look at me, pretty please ♪

At the same time, in the photo studio

Hiyori: ... ♪

Jun: Ohii-sama, what’s got you smirking at your phone like that?

Hiyori: I’m not “smirking like that”, I am smiling!

Jun:Doesn’t change much either way.

Hiyori: No, they are completely different!

Hiyori: “Smirking” is an expression that Ibara makes, and “Smiling” is an expression that Nagisa-kun makes!

Jun: When you put it that way…

Jun: I got it. I’ll say it the correct way.

Jun: So, what is it that’s making you smile? Did something good happen?

Hiyori: I’d asked Rinne-senpai to take Mary on a walk. I just got a picture from him!

Jun: …Huh? Isn’t that Harukawa-kun in the picture?

Hiyori: Rinne-senpai is the one taking the picture, so he’s not in it. Looks like he’s with Sora-kun and Yuta-kun right now.

Jun: Hmm… In any case, isn’t it pretty unexpected that you’d ask that guy to do this~?

Hiyori: I gave him a job in exchange for money. This is a noble’s duty, and I think he can manage since it’s just walking.

Hiyori: Since I know him, I knew that there was a chance he would slack off.

Hiyori: It’s good that he seems to be taking his job seriously…♪

[☆]

1. Dazzling-onii-san is Sora's nickname for Hiyori!

previous chapter 💧directory💧 next chapter

[yeosboba]

12.51am

I'm transferring this fanfic from my main blog, @yeosluvr.

_____________________________________________________________

Featuring: Yeosang

Genre: Angst, big brother Yeosang, mentions of San, Wooyoung and Felix (SKZ)

A/N; This is an idea I’ve been thinking of for a long time, and is actually part of a series that I’m currently (slowly) working on, so for now, just enjoy the random word spill huhu. Do leave some feedback and reblog&

Disclaimer; this is just a fanfiction and doesn’t portray how kang yeosang or any ateez and stray kids behave irl.

...

She quietly rests her head on his shoulder, him leaning his cheek against her hair. The Kang siblings stare at the raging storm ahead of them, fingers intertwined with each other’s. She misses this feeling of being calm and at peace and she knows that only Yeosang is able to provide. 

Even now, when they’re both introverts and have the mutual habit of keeping things quiet with each other; it’s only because they know what the other feels without having to tell. 

“I miss you, Yeo,” she says first, bringing his knuckle to her lips and gently kissing it. He copies her actions and smiles when she looks at him. It’s pained, sort of sad but also blank. She kind of realises that this must’ve been the face that he’s seen her with all along.

“You’re always gonna be stuck with me, sis,” he sighs, eyes trained on the storm. His black tank top is now a bit wet from the bits of rain he evaded earlier, but he doesn’t shiver even for a second as he gently tightens his grip on her fingers. “We only have each other now.”

“A lot happened,” she replies.

“I noticed.” Yeosang chuckles sadly. “In just a span of what, six years–”

“Five, Yeo.”

“Even worse.” He points it out. “What happened to you, baby?”

“Too much, apparently.” He knows. He knows it. He doesn’t even have to ask.

“How’s Felix, sweetheart?”

Yes. How is Felix? “I’m sure he’s fine,” she smiles at him.

“Did you guys fight?”

Fuck Yeosang and his observation.

“He’ll be fine.”

“I know that.” He nods.

She repeats the way he nods, and eyes him suspiciously afterwards. “I took those pills on time, Yeo.”

“That you did,” he smiles. “It means you’re not fine, y/n.”

“Yeosang.”

“Y/n.”

She groans.

“I really can’t watch you be in pain anymore.” The way his voice softens at this pains her more than she could bear. She loves Yeosang. He’s the only family, the only brother she could trust. He understands her in ways people don’t, even Felix. Evidently why Yeosang’s the one with her right now, not Felix.

“How much do you know, Yeo?”

“Enough.” He shrugs.

She sighs. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“It’s fine, honestly.” Yeosang smiles at her. “I just wanna make sure you’re okay. I only have you besides Wooyoung and San, you know?”

“Yeah I know.”

The elephant in the room is too huge for him to leave it alone apparently.

“I’m also frightened that you’ll do it again.”

She looks at Yeosang, who looks as unfazed and nonchalant as ever, but the grim look he has in his eyes, despite not even looking at her, is what makes her heart clench in its place again. She didn’t mean to do it, it’s just too much to bear. The pain, the voices, the heartbreak.

“Hey, sis.”

She looks at him.

“You still have me." 

She hums.

"If you don’t trust me, you can always go to Woo, or San. I don’t care. Just–”

“…just don’t leave you?”

“Exactly.” He smiles again. It’s almost creepy how he smiles so easily. “Please try to live. However you want. Just don’t keep it to yourself if you feel like you can explode.”

She hums, smiling. “Thanks, Yeo.”

“Hey, what are siblings for, hmm?”

[yoshikoooo]

Scaramouche and Kazuha  AS YOUR BROTHER! HC

Kill me romantically~

No, Im seriously worried about your mental health if he was your brother.

Hearing loud thuds at night and a scream of profanity is now normal to you. 'He is obviously losing on his game' . You rolled your eyes and went back to sleep.

Your brother is not much of a sweet type of brother.

Rather an egocentric one.

He obviously doesn’t like it when someone other than him gets to be presumptuous around you. Knowing Scaramouche, Once they get on his nerves, He would obviously do some tricks to lure them out and Beat the heck out of them. also, he wont forget to vent his undying anger on them. 

" You assholes! Wasting my time here! And there! If you guys had some sense and didn't pick on her then this wouldn't have happened! " 

He said furiously while kicking their stomach.

You obviously know how lunatic Your damn brother is and Knowing that, You still dare to pick fights with him. Go bad bitch, go bad bitch, Go.

On that note, You guys are seriously Fighting 24/7. There wasn't a day wherein the both of you didn't fight. He even called you ugly when you were a newborn baby. The auDaCiTy...

Mother gave up on Easing the fight. Its just not worth her time anymore. Too tired of the same bullsh*t everyday.

Once the both of you are outside, A Beautiful facade is shown. The smile you gave to each other and Giggles while talking on your way to school would make the passerbys think that the both of you were simply having some sweet sibling moments.

When IN FACT. You guys were arguing who gets to play tonights Ps4.

Curses and Inappropriate words were heard from the both of you, although none of the people passing by could hear it because it was so faint.

The fact that both of you were smiling while arguing like mad dogs is insane. I congratulate you.

"Oi, How stupid can you be? Can't you see that it's my turn on the Ps4 LATER?"

His hostile tone is something to make you furrow your eyebrows.

'This crazy small piece of sht.'

You thought as you smiled widely.

"This damn brother of mine is too old to know that It was my turn today. How pitiful it is to be old, Ah~ its okay Being forgetful, But In that age of yours, I think You should worry about your height more."

You said still on your sweet smile while your brother was about to snap, His height was something you shouldn't have mentioned perhaps..?

"Hah? Are you forgetting Your height Y/n? You're smaller than me, How could a bratty little beansprout like you have the right to judge my fucking height?"

His eyes are somewhat turning of a glare, this facade of yours is now breaking. And the walk to school is about to end as You can see the gate from afar.

"Hm? Don't mind my height, Girls are usually shorter anyway, So I clearly DONT.MIND.IT— but dear Brother~ Men have a different standard on heights, I was simply bringing it up and I didn't think it would hurt you this much, huhu~ My apologies. "

You said clearly in a sarcastic tone, Making you run your way up to the school when you noticed he stopped walking.

'Crap.. gotta run fast'

You said to yourself as you ran at full speed, Only to look back to see your dear brother running after you with a glare, Making You try to run faster.

"Hah?! Oi! You dipshit! Get back here!"

You heard him scream furiously, Making you look back and laugh awkwardly.

" haha...Brother, Who in the world is an idiot that would Stop running if you're holding a fucking knife??"

You

A Gentle guy here.

He's definitely the best brother. Literally.

Calm and Cool unlike the other one up there.

He loves to sing, Making your day always twice the better.

Not to mention, he can also play the guitar and other instruments.

Everyday is a day full of melody whenever you're with him.

He sometimes would recite poems and haiku out of nowhere, Making you stuck on it for hours till you finally get what it means.

Embracing nature is his favorite. He would often ask you if You want to come with him to visit a park nearby.

He is so elegant to the point wherein You sometimes question yourself If you are both really siblings.

His soft side is one thing, But You did once saw his bad side when a person tried to do something malicious towards you. You heard how His once soft and Calm voice somehow turned into a whisper of a grim reaper who would mercilessly take lives..

He is over protective. Periodt.

He doesn't want any bugs around you.

And Whenever you're down or in a bad mood, He would always come to you and ask in a very VERY soft tone.

"Y/n... would you Mind if you share with me of what is troubling you? Hm.. I may not be of much help, But I certainly would do my best."

A very soft smile is pasted on his face and his angelic voice is heard enough to make that anger inside you to disappear like a trace of smoke. You hesitated but gave a sigh and looked at your brother .

"You see.. there is this classmate of mine... I didn't do anything to him yet He makes fun of me out of nowhere. To the point that I'm irritated with it."

You said in a voice clearly Tired of what you were having trouble on. You felt a warm hand on your head, making you look at your brother Who obviously is concerned.

"Although, My friends did say that Maybe he just liked me and was simply seeking for attention. Which I don't clearly believed cause who would do that?"

You rolled your eyes and sigh once again. You noticed how The concerned look your brother had disappeared in an instant.

"Y/n, do you find him Troublesome?"

He simply asked as he smiled like usual.

"Of course, I do! I find Him annoying too! How he would play with my hair and touch my stuff! Ugh~ Just even remembering him makes my blood boil!"

You vented out while your brother giggled.

"My, my, Don't be like that, There is no reason for someone like him to stay on your mind y/n. People always do unnecessary things to get something they surely won't have, And I do too feel that It is wrong of him to touch your belongings, but Being grumpy won't do you any good so Its better to forget about him, So.. Why don't you eat some ice cream on the fridge, Its your favorite flavor after all. Let us ease your anger, shall we?"

Your brother kazuha Said as he patted your head softly making you nod in excitement.

"really?? If that is the case Then I'll be going first.... -ah! I forgot to tell you this.. "

You stopped and looked at your brother who looked at you confused.

" thank you for listening to me. "

You said as you head out of the room leaving kazuha alone. He smiled widely agreeing that his sister is the cutest and kindest in the world.

After a while ,The bright smile faded and a dark demeanor filled him.

"Yes....Its better to forget about him y/n... "

He smiled widely as if Trains of wonderful ideas are coming straight to his head.

Days had passed since you told your brother about that guy and you clearly noticed how different it is after you told your brother about it. Days are now back to being peaceful. You even wondered if Your brother is secretly a saint.

...

'hmm...? That guy is not showing up to bully me today either, or Do I even see him around the campus... '

You sigh in relief. As you thought that The guy finally gave up on you when in fact it's not.