#can’t believe ford had a cringe fail falling out with a triangle

[miss-americanbi]

can’t believe bill literally had his “my ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!” moment when ford tried and immediately failed at shooting him with the quantum destabilizer

[mariniacipher]

A NEW CHAPTER! From Meet me in the Woods

So yeah, i finally finished it, who would’ve thought?

The ao3 link is the source, because Tumblr is terrible

Fandom: Gravity Falls

Relationships: Bill Cipher & Dipper Pines, Bill Cipher & Mabel Pines, Dipper Pines &Mabel Pines, Pacifica Northwest & Mabel Pines, Pacifica Northwest/Mabel Pines, Bill Cipher & Original Female Character (Plus all the familial stuff)

Characters: Bill Cipher, Dipper Pines, Mabel Pines, Pacifica Northwest, Grunkle Stan/ Stanley “Stanford” Pines, The Author/ Original Stanford Pines, Tad Strange, Axolotl (Gravity Falls), Jheselbraum the Unswerving, Original Female Character, Minor Characters

Additional Tags: Billdip bromance, Sometime in the future, Triangle Bill Cipher, Human Bill Cipher, but that comes later, muuuuch later, Bill Cipher Redemption, aromantic asexual Bill Cipher, aro ace Bill Cipher, Bill has problems, PTSD Dipper Pines, Poor Dipper, Pansexual Mabel Pines, Older Pines Twins, They're 15, summer 2015, Gravity Falls Is Weird, Post-Gravity Falls, Bill Cipher's Backstory, Powerless Bill Cipher, Axolotl is a jerk, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Past Abuse, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Category: Gen, F/F

Summary.

11th June 2015: A normal day in Gravity Falls (as far as that is even possible) is turned upside down as Dipper finds the dream demon they had defeated three years ago in the woods, powerless and angry. From there on, things only continue to go downhill, as the twins find themselves helping the demon/trying to get him out of their realm as fast as possible, to get back to their normally paranormal summer in Gravity Falls. But of course it couldn't be that easy, we are talking about the Pines here, so why should it be?

Chapter 2:

 Bill examined Pine Tree- the human had aged a bit- but still seemed like the pathetic sack of bones he had encountered… Before. He couldn’t be sure how much time had passed since then. But he saw that the meat sack had written his own journal –which was amusing, really. How he thought he could achieve anything in his small human lifespan before his flesh bag would cease functioning and leave him to rot.

-Bill felt how the cells in his body worked, it was foreign and weird and entirely too… alive for him. (Alive meant mortal, mortals die) -

 But he wasn’t mortal, he  couldn’t   be.

 He distinctively recognized the path Pine Tree went, had gone it with Sixer’s feet several times as the Brainiac was still as ignorant as a frog in a slowly heating pot. It was slightly bigger now, and he could see traces of feet all over it, but just ten minutes away from the Shack the kid stopped to put him on the ground again.

 He looked up as the flesh bag (damn the frilly sack of ruffles, wherever he was), who seemed uncomfortable as he looked around himself.      What’s wrong Pines, is your measly human brain failing you?     he thought drily. Like the sack of bones knew real      thought     or knowledge. “Okay, so, I gotta smuggle you up to the attic, but I obviously can’t do that with the cage-“he saw how the kid took in a breath, as if to gather courage. This would be amusing-“so I have to unlock you and hide you in my sweater” he rushed out, the words almost incomprehensible, but Bill understood it anyway and glared up at the flesh sack. The sole audacity… “Kid, do you know who I am? Do you know of the  countless dimensions  I conquered and the   endless knowledge  I’ve collected?” he asked, his voice deepening and gaining even more of an echo. At least      something     was still how it was supposed to be.

 The boy gulped, before crossing the arms before his chest and glaring at the demon defiantly. “And now you’re a powerless corn chip and we have an agreement. So, you don’t have much choice in the matter, do you? And believe me, man, I don’t want to do this either” Dipper answered, ignoring the death glare he got. Or trying to, no one needed to know how sweaty his hands got and how dry his throat went.

 He took the set for picking locks from his bag that he and Mabel had both gotten to their birthdays last year from Stan (along with some more personalized gifts) and made quick work of the trap. Bill gave him another glare before standing up and gracefully walking out of the trap, annoying the brunet with just how      slow     the demon moved. It was already late and he wanted to catch Mabel before she went out with one of her friends (the creepy triangle was      not     sleeping in his room).

 But after entirely too much time, he could close the trap again and put away his set to face the triangle demon that stared up at him with a bored expression, raising an eyebrow at him as he fiddled with is jacket and opened it. This would be awkward.

 “Ohm, yeah, could you like, climb on my hand so we can get this over with?” he asked and, yup, this was awkward as all hell. He regretted everything that had led him to this moment. But still, Bill gave him an annoyed look but complied, seemingly thinking this was too stupid for him to even comment on. Well,       that     was a new low in Dipper’s life.

 The triangular demon was lifted off the ground, his little fingers biting into Dipper’s flesh (did Bill have freaking      claws    ?) but the teenager tried to ignore it and arranged Bill underneath his jacket, uncomfortably close to his chest, but even after some rummaging it couldn’t be helped, so he just tried to get over it. (He didn’t)

 ~

 As Coralline, called Cora by everyone but her father, saw Dipper enter the gift shop, she immediately knew something was up. The brunet, whose ass she might or might not have stared at, if opportunity arose, was obviously even more awkward than usual and looked around himself as if someone was going to attack him every minute, standing there, half hunched in over himself. Cora didn’t know him too well, but she would consider him a friend, so she waved a hand at him after selling some old lady some overpriced merchandise.

 The brunet lit up like a traffic light and came over to her. She tried not to cringe at his awkwardness. He might even get the phone numbers of some of the people he flirted with -he was cute enough- if he weren’t so      painfully     awkward.

 “Mabel is leading a tour, she should be back in like, five minutes. Should I tell her that you need her?” she asked, knowing the twins well enough by now to see when they wanted or needed to talk to each other. The brunet nodded gratefully and shot her a small smile, but it didn’t manage to cover his nervousness “Yeah, thanks, tell her I’m at the attic, okay?” he asked, she gave him a thumbs up and one of her bright smiles. “Can do, Dip” she grinned, before facing another customer as Dipper hurried out of the shop and up to his room.

 ~

 Dipper sacked against the door, his body melting into a puddle as he let himself relax. He quickly opened the zipper to his jacket and let the demon out, to sit him on his desk, doing a quick once-over to see if there was anything the demon could use against him. But everything was safe, he judged carefully. He went over to the window, still suspicious at its form, although it had clear glass now, instead of a      literal effigy    of Bill fucking Cipher. He looked out, but the tour Mabel led wasn’t there yet.

     Patience, Dipper    . He brushed some hair out of his face, while trying to plan how he would explain all of this to Mabel. Part of him knew that he would probably forget everything he’d think of as soon as she would walk through the door, but at least it would help him sort his thoughts.

 So Bill Cipher was back- that was a nightmare he really didn’t want to face- but he had no powers, which was a relief, because Dipper quite liked his life and would prefer it if he wouldn’t face a premature end by the hands of the triangular demon.

 Still, they had to find a way to get him out of their dimension, and to do so as quickly as possible if you asked him. He wondered if there was a spell to banish Bill from humanity in general, even dreams, but doubted it. Even if, Bill would have destroyed such a thing long ago, if he knew anything about the demon.

 He considered asking Bill why he was here to begin with, but doubted that the triangle would give him any answers and he should probably wait with the interrogation until Mabel was here, she was better at that stuff anyways. He remembered with a shudder what she had done to some kid that had bullied them. He had never wanted to know that you could use sprinkles and a candy cane like that.

 But point remained, she would probably get more out of the demon, if only because he seemed to have liked her better. The thought made him cringe, as well as the memory it awoke, of falling asleep and waking up with ink stained fingers, just having been used as the demon’s puppet      again    . He had played it down in front of Mabel, who had been enraged that the demon would compare      her     to the likes of      him    , but he hadn’t slept for the next two days, and when he did fall asleep it was fitful and filled with nightmares. Even after the unicorn barrier had been set in place his brain had tortured him any minute he fell asleep, with images of what Bill could and would do if he ever chose to. Even as Ford had told him of his backstory of Bill he hadn’t dared to tell him about the incident with the ‘      Guide to Mystery and Non-Stop Fun’     pages.

 He shook his head, that was long over, and the demon was powerless now, there was no need to worry, they just had to get him back to his dimension as fast as possible.

 ~

 As Mabel got to the clearing before the Mystery Shack she stopped and just before the door she turned to the customers, a big grin plastered on her face, akin to one of a shark. “Well, this was the Tour of Terrors, ladies,  gentlemen and friends, I hope you enjoyed it and come back again, I was your Ms. Mystery today!      Pictures are charged case to case, we offer no refunds for mental or physical injuries and if your wallet mysteriously disappears we have definitely nothing to do with it    ” she tacked on out of the corner of her mouth, her grin definitely seeming to be like a shark’s now. She really was Stanley Pines grandniece, and he had trained her well in the art of scamming people the last few years.

 Last summer she had gotten to lead some tours with him and he had been enthusiastic at her charm and charisma, as she scammed people out of their money, but this summer she could do her tours alone for the first time.

 “Now, please follow me to the gift shop, we’re you’ll be able to buy the unique Mystery Shack Merchandise, which you’ll get nowhere else, except in the Online Shop, which we invite you to try out.      Shipping isn’t free and you’re not insured in case someone sells your data to the government or other as, or more, shady organisations    ” She told them, as the people already scattered to buy some of the junk on the shelves. Although Mabel had influenced the inventory in the last few years, even having some products of her own making on the shelves, that she all designed herself and whose winnings she and Stan split fifty/fifty (After a very long argument, that had cost Mabel a glue gun and Stan a stapler and Dipper a ton  of nerves).

 She went to Cora- before she would be overrun with customers Mabel wanted to chat with her. The girl was only a year older than her and Dipper and had quickly gotten herself into Mabel’s group of friends, although they weren’t as close as she was with Candy, Grenda or Wendy, and sure as hell not Paz. She quickly banished the girl from her thoughts, before she would start staring at nothing with a dreamy expression.

 “Hey Mabes, tour went good?” Cora asked, in her hands was some manga she read, and Mabel was inclined to ask about it, before she saw the cover, and chose not to. She wasn’t one to read too many horror stories, she left that to Dipper. “Tour went good, I think about changing the route so we can also see the Question Quails, and maybe the Exclamation Parakeets too. I just have to convince Stan” she told the cashier, who nodded along.

 Cora had grown up here, so she was used to the town’s weirdness, even liked it. “Yeah, I could help you with that, if you want to slowly get them used to humans. My mum in Portland works at that Smith and Bybee Wetlands Natural Area-thing, so she would probably know whatever you’ll need to have the tourists see them and all.”

 “Oh, and your bro came in here like, ten minutes ago? He looked really anxious, I think you should go to him, before he faints or something” she told the brunette who seemed to be alerted as soon as she heard the word ‘anxious’. Mabel knew that Dipper had made tons of progress, but maybe something had caused a relapse? Well, whatever it was, she wouldn’t leave her bro-bro to fight alone!

 “Kay, thanks Cora! Can you man the shop while I’m upstairs? Thanks!” she rushed out, before making her way to the attic and bursting inside Dipper’s room. But what she saw was      not     what she had expected. “Dipper? What happened, why is  he   back? Why is he even here, I thought he was a mind demon? And we killed him! - We killed you three years ago, what the heck are you doing here?” she shouted.

 Of course Dipper would be anxious if Bill was back, in fact, it was a surprise he hadn’t had a panic attack yet. She looked at her brother, asking with a look if he was okay. The brunet gave her a reassuring look back and nodded, before he began to speak. “I found him in the woods, he doesn’t have any powers, so I brought him here, so we could get rid of him before the Stans notice” he explained. “Yeesh kid, don’t be so happy about it” the triangle muttered from his place on the desk. He sat on top of some papers and books that were littered all over his room. Well, it wasn’t like her room looked much better, just much brighter.

 She glared at the twelve inch small triangle, before turning to Dipper. “And what should we do? Is there some sort of ritual to get him back to wherever he came from?” she asked. She may not be as scarred as Dipper from what happened, but she was still scared. The triangle had hurt her brother and Grunkle Ford and she didn’t want either of them to be hurt again by the demon. Bill, meanwhile, rolled his eyes. Stupid flesh bags.

 “I don’t know Mabel. I thought we could both ask what happened and then we can try to figure it out?” Dipper suggested. Mabel nodded. “Kay, bro-bro” she answered.

 Bill’s eye twitched. They      did    know that he was right there? Or was their brain capacity so ridiculously small that they already forgot?

 “Okay, Bill, why are you here again instead of rotting in hell or whatever else you’ve been doing the last three years?” Mabel asked and Dipper gave her a shocked look, but decided not to do anything. He’d let Mabel do her thing, he thought, while taking his notebook and jotting down everything he had until now. Bill glared up at Mabel, while memories tried to resurface, but he stopped them before they could even get close. “Well, I don’t know Shooting Star, how about you tell me first why I should even talk to you?” he asked icily, fixing her with a glare.

 Mabel showed herself unshaken, crossing her arms. “You could talk to me because it’s      nice    , you know?” she snapped. Dipper gave her a deadpan look and Bill rose his eyebrow.

 “Yeah, right”

 “Have you ever met me, kid?”

 Both said simultaneously and Mabel looked at both of them. Bill looked seemed for a moment and Dipper didn’t look much better. Mabel had to hold back a giggle at their expressions. “You could answer so you can get away from us as fast as possible” she suggested, choosing to ignore the silent mortification they both went through. The triangle schooled his expression to one of deadpan and bored, before answering.

 “And you don’t think I could get myself back to where I ‘rot in hell’ if I wanted?” he asked, giving her an unimpressed look. Mabel blinked surprised, before catching herself. “So you want to get our help to what? Get you back in the Mindscape?” she asked. Dipper looked at the triangle with suspicion. “Not in the Mindscape, Shooting Star, the Nightmare Realm” Bill corrected arrogantly.

 “But you probably won’t do that, so I’d suggest you let me do my thing and we see each other again in your nightmares. Deal?”

 “No! I won’t make a deal with you, you’re an evil triangle monster!” “Flattery won’t get you anywhere, kid” “That was not a compliment” Mabel growled, before she had an idea. “Wait, what about this: We’ll help you get back your powers and in return you won’t conquer the world, or this whole universe, like, ever. Deal?” Mabel asked, trying not to show how unsure she was.

 Bill gave her a mildly surprised look, but before he could answer Dipper interrupted them. “Mabel, we can’t make a deal, he’ll just somehow twist it so he comes out on top!”

 “Well, do you have another idea? Cause the way I see it, that’s the only way to make sure he won’t destroy the world as soon as he gets his powers back, or tries to, anyway” Mabel replied.

 “She’s right Pine Tree” Bill smirked. “One of you should make a      deal    if you want your sweet small world to stay the boring way it is” he sing-songed, as he looked at his fingers (those were definitely claws). “Except you      want     a second Weirdmageddon? Which I’d be      more than glad     to make happen, although you probably wouldn’t live long enough to see it unfold” Bill grinned, enjoying the opportunity to gain the upper hand again.

 “We sure as fuck don’t! Listen you freaky triangle, I’ll make a deal with you and then we’ll get you back to wherever you came from and you let this whole freaking universe alone!” Mabel exclaimed. Dipper gave her a concerned look, before resigning to her choice. She was already too convinced of her plan to stop her, the only thing he could do was help her not to make a giant mistake.

 “Can you even make deals like that?” he asked, to make sure that they even      could     do this, silently begging whatever entity watched over them that he couldn’t. “I can… with some… help” the demon gritted out. He was able to destroy supernovas with a snap of his fingers, could watch millions and trillions of places at the same time, but now he needed help to just make a      deal    . The Axolotl would pay for that, he’d make sure of it.

 “But you can?”

 “What did I just say? Are you      that     stupid, Pine Tree?” Bill snapped, before Mabel interrupted them again.

 “Hey, guys, I know we all hate each other, but we gotta get this over with before we kill each other. So, Bill: I offer you that I and Dipper restore your power to the best of our ability, without any serious harm befalling anyone, no matter whom, if you will never attempt to conquer, destroy or otherwise harm this universe ever again, in your whole existence and whatever comes after. You agree?” she asked. Bill looked at her, scanning the deal for any loopholes he could use, but there were surprisingly few. The girl had learned from Fez, no doubt.

 He looked at her outstretched hand, he didn’t want to give this realm up, he had sacrificed a trillion of years to get it, but he      needed     his powers back and one small universe wasn’t that big a cost. And he could always just take another version of this universe, could even kill the Pines family of that version. So, in the end, it seemed like a good enough deal, he had to begrudgingly admit.

 “Deal, Shooting Star.”