#can you tell that I'm not really good at describing people?
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My first thought at hearing horror described as "a predatory force seeking out the exposed and vulnerable elements of society" made me think of a movie about a monster tormenting people who refuse to be vulnerable and at the end the "final girl" has vulnerability but must spend a highly uncomfortable eternity with the monster.
But then I realized that while that would make a good horror movie, it would just be the flip side of the coin of horror movie avoidance. The audience then simply gets "action movie"-like gratification where the victims have to open up and be vulnerable and laughs in schadenfreude when they fail at this task. It could be good horror, but it wouldn't challenge its target audience, who don't relate to the victims in the film. The audience would side with the monster, and watching the predation with a certain level of emotional detachment. "Ahaha, that frat bro couldn't show vulnerability, go get him". This could be a fun movie, but it's not a template for the appeal of horror. And people who don't want to be vulnerable in that particular way can become more entrenched in their mindset, because the film isn't just victimizing (people like) them, it mocks its victims, it addresses the audience as people superior to those victims.
If, say, a slasher movie features a bunch of frat bros who never open up to each other, this doesn't reflect real vulnerabilities of frat bros, who IRL do tell each other pretty harrowing stories and show emotional vulnerability in the right social setting -- the reason shitty men bully emotional or "weak" men in group settings is cishet patriarchal pecking order / violence. These guys do all these weak and emotional things all the time, just under the "right" pretense. So a horror film where frat bros are killed for being repressed kind of misses its mark as social criticism.
But even if the film killed frat bros or karens or other groups of privileged people who either repress something or hide a violent underbelly of their group, a challenging horror film walks a fine line.
Any horror film that simply *gives them what they deserve*, say a slasher film where frat bros die one-by-one as the monster seeks out guys who aren't, as prev put it "reduced to tears", is wish-fulfillment for an audience critical of frat bro culture. Like I'd get a kick out of it, I think such stories should be told and I'll watch at least a few of them, but I know deep down that I'm watching something that doesn't actually affect me. Don't misunderstand me: I don't think entertainment needs to be pure. I don't think it needs to teach valuable lessons. But since people above are discussing the kind of infantile mindset where someone basically doesn't like about horror the very thing that makes it horror (the helplessness) I can't but mention that to really get audiences to experience helplessness, you need *them* to actually feel helpless. So watching some Karen who totally deserves to get chopped to bits feel helpless ...only works if *you're* a Karen like that yourself -- and even then might not work if you rightfully(?) suspect this entertainment was made by other people to make fun of you or feel superior to you.
Schadenfreude (enjoying the damage others face) is absolutely a viable ingredient for entertainment: but absurdly, it's an ingredient for a feelgood movie. A morality play that preaches to the choir.
This is one reason why trans women and people with physical disfigurements have been so attentive to transmisogyny and ableism in horror. Because in both cases, the mainstream has been making feelgood movies where the monster is Other and people can feel superior to that form of otherness. They can pat themselves on the back for thinking that disfigurement makes someone monstrous or uncomfortable or undesireable or disgusting. A disfigured monster's body would not be half as ableist if it wasn't part of a sort of morality tale feelgood movie, where bad people get what they deserve and good people go rewarded. Giving the disfigured monster more sympathy effectively doesn't just muddle the ableism, but also muddles the predation and violence of the monster. Which won't really make sense to the audiences who wanted a morality play to feel better about themselves but also--- morality plays are a part of horror, but they are kind of like decaf coffee. It's horror without the helplessness of horror.
Even a film with an amoral ending, like Cabin in the Woods, is basically just defanged horror, it's an action comedy with horror tropes and weird sci-fi and fantasy elements. The amoral ending (just letting the world get destroyed) is cool and entertaining, but this is definitely a feelgood film.
If someone wants to make a film about unavoidable pain and suffering, then they can't shy away from actually inflicting that fictional pain and suffering on their fictional characters. And if that movie is meant to avoid the thing where wealthy suburbanites are victims of the murder doll or demon home invasion or whatever, if you want to show the vulnerability of homeless people for example...well then you can't shy away from portraying the futility of their attempts to get help.
Feelgood films (both the Action Horror movie and the Schadenfreude Morality Play) have their place in the world of storytelling and can say interesting things. But the impulse to always want "soft" horror is maybe partly due to how effective it can be, as a genre, to actually make people live through helplessness and unavoidable pain. I don't think the last type is more legitimate, but I do think, especially when it deals with marginalized pain or deals with privileged pain in a way that truly hits its mark, people will tend to not want to watch it.
It's not uniquely American for people to not want to get to close to this sort of pain. It seems like the product of neoliberalism: even the most victimized people in the poorest countries are told that what truly matters is their authenticity, their integrity. Labour is increasingly expendable, people can easily lose everything... and so they are being comforted with the idea that at least they *are themselves* (hence why I'm always trying to define being trans not as "who I am, who I truly am inside" and more in terms of "my freedom of association and self-definition is being taken from me, using biology as an excuse". When people want to *be themselves*, experiencing a story where they have to be vulnerable can be incredibly difficult.
I'm still not sure why rich people applauded "Parasite" -- did the film fail on some level, or did they shield themselves from the film's message -- and I can't say what the magic ingredients are to make a story impact its target audience. Parasite, though, is about poor people told from their perspective -- and rich folks are the Other. So maybe that explains its muted effect: Like that social media post about bullies at school cheering on Dumbo the elephant beating up his bullies. This is the story of Dumbo, audiences cheer Dumbo on because they like him. They aren't vulnerable to the critique of Dumbo or Parasite, because the hero isn't a bully like them. And bullies are fundamentally unsympathetic as characters. Audiences tend to want them to die.
I think a really psychologically effective horror film is one where the protagonists are people the audience relates to, who do bad things that the audience somewhat dislikes but can find understanding for and where the antagonist isn't a bringer of morality, but simply a force of destruction. Where the core defining aspect of the monster isn't how clearly it reflects some real-world problem, but how relentlessly it pursues its tastes or agenda. The monster(s) acts like a real-life problem in its horrific effects, but it isn't allegorical. Or at least not allegorical for an issue near and dear to the audience's heart. But I'm not sure how much horror can actually cause audience introspection. I don't think we can fully expect entertainment to hit the mark on that. People watch entertainment for the fun of it -- if someone wants entertainment to be transformative, they need to take notes from entertainment that appears to have a genuinely transformative effect (like "A Short Film About Killing" which supposedly ended the death penalty in Poland or "Jaws" which supposedly caused a temporary shark murder spree).
But regardless I think it makes sense to realize that horror films that make the audience feel smart for avoiding bad things and horror films that harrow the audience with inescapable horror are pandering to different desires and are, in a sense, different genres. If you know that, you have a better grasp on how to design your own stories or how to recommend stories you come in contact with.
people are so mean about horror movie victims like. sorry but if i had gone to a cabin in the woods with my friends as a teenager you couldn't have stopped us from reading aloud from the evil tome. how were they supposed to know the ancient curse was real they're like 17
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Oh my God I'm such a twilight girlie you write him so good!!! Like I'm a blushing mess here giggling kicking feet the whole nine yards. Also making him thic is such a accurate power move 🤭🤤 one of these days I'd love to hear all your thoughts on the different 🍆 sizes for the links I just know it'd be glorious until then I shall devour all your writing repeatedly while imagining hot blondes (your four rut one is my absolute favorite I must confess)
Anon you flatter me!!
Hyrule: 4.9 inches. Now, before you come at me in the comments for making our fairy prince smaller than Four, hear me out: like I've said before, and continue to say, penis size is heavily affected by both genes and external factors, and even a slight discrepancy in either one can had mixed outcomes. 'But Fyre, we came here for sin, not a biology lesson!!', some of you may gripe, but I promise there's method to this madness. Ever since starting his first adventure at the ripe age of 9 or 10, Hyrule has been on constant alert because of 1) the literal cult trying to steal his blood to reincarnate a giant pig man and 2) the fact that his world is quite literally a wasteland with minimal food/tainted water/and all sorts of other nasty things. I can't even imagine the stress he was under during those frankly crucial developmental years, so it's highly likely that his body just... didn't fully develop due to a combination of him not getting enough to eat/drink and being on the run for most of his life (i.e lots of stress + probably a horrific sleep schedule). Moreover, both of these factors are what's known as endocrine disruptors, which can heavily affect mental and physical growth.
But now onto the dick-cannons: while he may not be the largest or thickest, I like to think Hyrule has a pretty good handle on what he's doing regardless*. Definitely not circumcised, considering his background (someone please tell him how to wash).
*(I once saw a headcannon that Hyrule probably used sex as a form of payment when things got tough, which I think is very underrated and absolutely true.)
Four: 5.5 inches. So I DEFINITELY did too much research on Four's, but I think y'all need to hear this. While I love the headcannon about Four's dick being 4 inches because his name is quite literally 'Four', I'm not sure anyone has tried to tackle this conundrum with his heritage in mind. Typically, penis size is influenced by parental genes, the person's own unique genes, and a combination of other external factors. For Four, we know for certain that he has Hylian parents, BUT he's also part Minish because of the events of Minish Cap. The Minish are typically described as anthropomorphic mouse people, so we can comfortably use mice as the basis for this genetic addition. Now, mice typically have a penis size of 10% of their body length (tip of nose to base of tail), which would concurrently put Four at 0.458333333 in feet, or 5.5 inches.
Dick-canons: probably circumcised. He's got the vibe of being pretty unassuming, but then he whips it out and everything suddenly makes sense. Balls* are on the bigger side (BREED), but no one's complaining.
*(Have you seen mice balls?? They're fucking [tee hee] massive. View at your own risk, but I couldn't have stopped the idea of Four like this if I tried. Yes yes I know this is a rat, but close enough!)
Wild: 5.6 inches. This one was probably the most difficult, because Wild's just... an average guy*. He doesn't have any non-Hylian transformations or crazy evolution history under his belt (tee tee), so all that really leaves is his height–which isn't a truly reliable measure of penile length, BUT we take what we can get in this blog–and background. It's somewhat implied that his father was a knight/someone who worked for the kingdom, which means he and Warriors were likely raised in very similar situations, though Wild's likely was a bit more stressful. For one, he pulled the Master Sword from its pedestal at the ripe old age of 12, and was immediately shipped off to guard Princess Zelda while she attempted to awaken her powers. While not as extreme as Hyrule's backstory, this is still a great deal of pressure for a child who arguably had a very peaceful life before finding the Master Sword, but I don't think he suffered any developmental conditions; even with the stress of finding out you're the Hero of Hyrule before you even finish puberty, it's reasonable to assume that Wild was physically cared for by the royal family, if only for the fact that his destiny was to defeat Ganon. Not just that, but there's the whole other issue of being stuck in a shrine for 100 years after dying; I'm no doctor, but that doesn't sound like favorable conditions for anyone. Obviously, the shrine heals him, but is that all it does? It's a well-known fact that water isn't good for skin**, especially considering he laid in it without moving for a century, so it's hard to imagine how his dick looked after the bath to end all baths.
Dick-canons: it glows– assuming he actually does have a penis, it's fairly average looking. Probably circumcised for military/cleanliness reasons, but he does have a very lovely vein running up the side of the shaft that always looks like it's about to pulse out of his dick. He should probably get that check out. Average sized balls, maybe a bit on the small side due to 100 years of cold water exposure.
*(I'm just going to come out and say this: all the Links are, at their core, average guys. Twilight was a goat herder. Time may or may not have been birthed by a tree and raised by tree people. Hyrule is just a simple traveler. Wind wasn't even chosen, he just wanted to save his sister. That's why they're so likable... they're not born special, or heroic, or anything. They're just dudes. Regular, selfless, boring, amazing dudes. Anyways enjoy the rest of my insanity.)
**(Is it wrinkly? Dried up? Completely and totally detached?? Laying in water for even a few days can cause severe medical complications, such as open sores, loss of skin elasticity, bacterial and fungal infections, and tissue decomposition. Cold water can temporarily slow the effects of decomposition because of adipocere formation, which is a phenomenon in which a waxy substance forms over the skin as a byproduct of fat decomposition, but not for 100 years. By this logic, Wild shouldn't be on this list because he shouldn't have a dick.)
Legend: 6 inches. Y'all already know where this is going. Unlike his successor, Legend didn't begin his first adventure until the age of 12, and lived a fairly stable life before hand thanks to his Uncle. This means that there likely wouldn't be too many developmental factors to worry about in determining the dick-cannons, so now we must turn to his rabbit-ifying encounter from his first adventure. I'm going to use the eastern cottontail rabbit (Sylvilagus floridanus) for this example because they're one of the most widely studied/available rabbit species. Now, cottontails typically reach 14-19 inches in length, but I'm going to go with 20 inches for Legend because he is CHONK, and also 20 is a lot easier to do math with. Keeping this in mind, WikiVet has informed me that rabbit penises can range from 20 to 45 mm in length. I'm going with 45 mm (4.5 inches) because he's a big boy and I also want him to have a big dick, so, when paired with the 20 inch body length, you'll find that approximately 8.86% of a rabbit's length is dick. Now that we know dick-to-body ratio, all that needs to be done is put that against Legend's height of 5'6", which leaves us with 5.8476 inches, but I added an extra 2 in to account for the fact that he is also hylian. It just feels right.
Dick-canons: Definitely a good choice if you're not sure what you want; bunny boy has many talents. Definitely has some breeder balls*, and I firmly believe he's curved just right for maximum pleasure. Probably circumcised because of his uncle, but he's secretly glad because it means he doesn't have to clean it like he would if he wasn't.
*(Yup, we're doing this again. Scientifically, rabbits have some of the highest sex drives of any animal, and are capable of breeding six hours after giving birth [WTF], which means this absolutely applies to Legend. He is never not down for a fuck.)
Sky: 6.3 inches. Prepare yourself because this one is very speculative. So, Sky was born on Skyloft, a set of islands in the sky. He was trained as a knight for most of his life and had a generally very peaceful life, so no endocrine disruptors or developmental discrepancies to worry about. Moreover, we know he started his journey at seventeen, which means he's at the tail-end of development. Now, instead of turning to some type of animal encounter, I'll turn to his Hylian heritage to answer this conundrum. I doubt there's anything out there with Skyloft's exact elevation, but it does appear to be a decent few thousand feet above the cloud barrier, which I've discovered are most likely altocumulus clouds, which typically form at an elevation between 6,000 to 20,000 feet. To calculate this, I watched a Skyward Sword gameplay video and determined that, in-game, it takes approximately 1:02.87 to reach the surface, and, assuming Sky/Link, is going at terminal velocity (the fastest an object can go while in motion, which happens to be 120 mph for belly-to-earth skydiving), this would put Skyloft at a roughly 7,544.4 foot elevation, which aligns with the altocumulus cloud prediction. There are only so many places on Earth that match such a high elevation, but I'm going to choose the Himalayas (which are inhabited by the Tibetan people, which are already known to have more capillaries and a more specialized hemoglobin function due to living in higher altitudes) as our comparer-region. Using this information, we can safely assume that Skyloftians, though fictional, who evolved in a very similar environment, may exhibit some similar traits to the modern-day Tibetan people.
While researching, I also discovered an incredibly interesting phenomenon called "airplane boners", which is a scientific occurrence where changes in pressure can cause erections (i.e. flying on a place), and decided that this would be perfect fuel for my scholarly degeneracy, which leads me to my next point: Sky has a big dick as an evolutionary response to what is colloquially known as the 'airplane boner'. Not convinced? Let me explain. When a penis is erect, arteries in the pelvic/penile region dilate to allow for greater blood flow, which thus increases the size of the penis itself. Now, imagine being at a high elevation for your whole life, surrounded by people whose ancestors have never lived anywhere else. I firmly believe that Skyloftians are well-endowed as an evolutionary response that allows the sustainment of larger blood vessels as a sort-of defense against high air pressure. Natural selection favors these traits because they ultimately lead to reproduction, which is the single-most important characteristic of evolution. 6.3 inches was a bit of an educated guess, but I believe that because the people of Skyloft evolved in a closed high-altitude ecosystem, it's entirely reasonable for Sky to be THICC because his body has a adapted to handle a greater hemoglobin factor and increased vascular capacity, likely in the penile region.
Dick-canons: due to the blood-vessel evolution, Sky's dick is likely thicker than average, with some very visible veins running up the sides; so many that it likely makes his dick appear incredibly flushed when erect. Contrary to what some of you may think, I don't think he has large balls, because it is likely more advantageous to have a smaller scrotum to combat the elements/conserve heat. So no breeder balls for him, but that doesn't mean he can't breed you just as good ;)
Twilight: 6.8 inches. I feel like this goes without saying, but he's a country boy. He's hung. Twilight grew up in Ordon, a close-knit community where everyone takes care of everyone, which means he most definitely had a very good childhood. Like some of the others, I see no reason to bring up developmental challenges due to being chased by a cult or some similar bullshit, so we're going to skip right to his transformation of a wolf at the beginning of his journey. Contrary to Legend and Four, I do not believe that this transformation affected him significantly in terms of penis appearance/size. Twilight was 17 when his adventure began, which means he already is at the end of physical development from a biological standpoint, and, in Linked Universe, his tattoos appear to be the only true physical mark on his hylian body, so it's safe to assume that we don't need to take this into consideration. Now, some of you may say: "Fyre, but your theories were so crazy for the other ones and now you're saying Twilight's hung because he's country??" Yes. Yes, I am saying that.
BUT.
There's a pretty solid theory running around that Twilight is a very small part Gerudo, due to Talon (Malon's father) having married/banged a Gerudo woman in secret. In LOZ, it's fairly obvious that the Gerudo are supposed to emulate modern-day Middle Eastern culture, which a study by the National Institute of Health states have an average penis length of 14.34, or 5.6 inches. Obviously, this is nowhere near 6.8, but this is also a race of mythical female warriors, so everything's a little skewed. However, in every iteration we see of the Gerudo, they're always tall, somewhat aggressive, and visibly muscled, which are all indicators of above-average levels of testosterone. This is highly important because, in addition to being required to build muscle mass, testosterone is heavily responsible for penis growth during puberty, meaning that Twilight could very well be the way he is because of this naturally-increased testosterone production (i.e why he's so visibly muscled compared to the other Links), plus an assumed more efficient vascular system due to his heritage. Adding on to this, Twilight likely already has booming levels of testosterone due to his very physical, very labor-intensive occupation as a rancher, plus the fact that he's in the prime of his life. In short, he's doing everything right: he eats well, works out, and has fairly decent emotional and mental health, all of which can be correlated with optimal penile development.
Dick-canons: Breeder balls to the MAX. All that extra testosterone has got to go somewhere, and it ain't his head. Fairly girthy, so prep is a necessity. Has one big vein right under the head that honest-to-god throbs when he's turned-on. Probably not circumcised because Ordon is fairly closed-off and I can't see them as being sticklers for that.
Warriors: 7 inches. While height isn't directly correlated with dick size, it is reasonable to assume that Warriors would be a bit higher on the list because of this, as well as his overall health in comparison to Hyrule and/or Legend. It's hinted that Warriors was raised in a very military-esque lifestyle, so it's not a surprise that he wouldn't have any true developmental setbacks in terns of penile length. Now, that doesn't mean we can't analyze the reasons why he's like this. Being raised in a militant environment means he was fed appropriately, participated in training regularly, and was likely taught stress-regulation habits (does he use them? no, but at least he knew them during his developmental years). Like Twilight, increased muscle mass is typically linked to elevated testosterone levels, and since Warriors has been training his whole life, it's reasonable to assume that these factors had a positive impact on his penile development. He and Twilight are very similar in this regard, except Twilight's size comes a bit more from favorable, wack genetics, though they both make sure to take care of themselves. However, Warriors is shown to be somewhat vain in Linked Universe canon (to the point that the other heroes have a running joke on it), which means it shouldn't be put past him to try more... under-the-table methods to ensue his 'perfection' reaches all aspects of his body, dick absolutely included. I'll leave it up to y'all on whether it's actual herbal/medical enhancements or sheer force of arrogance, but it's still a fun thought!
Dick-canons: Definitely circumcised (if not, definitely obsessed over keeping that shit squeaky clean). He's not as girthy as Twilight or Sky, but it'll definitely feel like he is from the way he wields it* during the deed. Doesn't have the biggest balls, but they'll definitely smack against any ass he can get his hands on.
*(There's a lot of speculation on whether Warriors is a manwhore or not, but I believe he's got experience. Definitely not in relationships, but one-night stands? Tavern hook-ups? He's done more of those than he's [un]willing to admit, but when it's someone he honestly, truly cares about? Slap a blush on him and call him a virgin, because he sure acts like it!)
Time: 7.3 inches. I saved the best for last. I want to preface this by saying that Time is HUGE, so obvious he's got to have a bitchbreaker in those britches, right? Right? Not exactly, because the version of Time we see in Linked Universe is the 'second' version; the one who got sent back in time by Zelda for Majora's Mask. This is HUGELY relevant because, honestly? Time likely took terrible care of himself over the course of Ocarina of Time, or at least somewhat neglected his needs in favor of completing his quest. Then, when he was sent back to being 12 years old in a new timeline by Zelda (Majora's Mask), you cannot convince me that he didn't have a major epiphany on how to actually take care of himself now that he was literally given another chance to get it right. He still trains, hard, but also knows his limits and, for the first time in his new life, he actually makes a point to start eating vegetables and drinking milk*, which give him all the essential nutrients to bridge the gap between surviving and living, especially during these crucial developmental years. Time genuinely makes an attempt to try. For himself, this time. And it pays off in the form of that fat-ass cock ;)
Dick-canons: a true bitchbreaker that will rail you six ways to Sunday. Not circumcised (bro was basically birthed by a tree), and definitely has breeder balls; he basically acts like he's in rut, and Twilight's got to get that trait from somewhere. Probably pretty veiny, like his hands (HNNNN), with just the slightest curve that'll have him hitting all the right spots.
*(Lon Lon milk all the way, my good readers.)
And, of course, I had to consult google:
#I read a science daily article for this#flaming asks#lu headcanons#Lu artists on Tumblr HEAR MY CALL#only LU can make me do math#linked universe#“7 is tablet” I CAN'T BAHAHAHHAHAH#I did the wolf-Hylian math for Twi and I got 5.4 inches#Nope#We make Twilight hung here#Scholarly degeneracy at it's finest#link x reader#loz headcanons#lu wild#lu hyrule#lu sky#lu four#lu legend#lu time#lu twilight#lu warriors#legend of zelda#tw: eye trauma#This blog supports Four's balls#Literally
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on ur posting art comic, someone put alt text in a reblog for a piece of mine and said "Hey OP add this to your post or you're not being inclusive enough" and I genuinely didn't know how to respond. I feel like a lot of the time these people start with good intentions but then ascribe an arbitrary set of rules that make you a horrible person if you forget or maybe don't have time to add certain accommodations as a singular person on a blog
i've already harped on how making these demands isn't fair to people who are prone to OCD spirals, have struggles with literacy/cognition, don't know english well, have low energy, etc etc, but beyond that, i truly think that this behavior, when earnest, is the result of a total lack of self-awareness that one has fallen for the propaganda trap of erasing the distinction between corporations and people. everyone has to be considering "their brand" at all times when this is just not how life works. there's a reason grocery store owners have to make their aisles wheelchair-accessible but Jim The Eccentric Rock Climber can turn his entire house into an obstacle course for him and his buddies: one of these things is meant for all-access public use, and one of these things is meant to be enjoyed by Jim's sphere of influence. Maybe if Jim makes a really good disabled friend that he wants to have come over, he'll rework a pathway for them so they can be included. Maybe if Jim wants to turn his obstacle house into a business, he will consider more ways to make it inclusive for disabled athletes to attend. But until that point, it's just his house.
"but it was posted publicly-" so are triggering works of fiction, but we all for the most part understand "don't like, don't read". the idea of telling someone to redo a free-to-read fanfiction without triggering elements so it can be accessible to readers with those triggers is preposterous, so why are we suddenly okay demanding extra work from visual artists who may not feel capable of (or even comfortable) describing their work with words? it sucks not being able to enjoy something, i'm not unsympathetic to this, but i don't think you can be supportive of weird, unmarketable, emotionally-charged art while at the same time demanding it be made describable in english for what is essentially SEO and data-training purposes.
art is for everyone, i absolutely stand by this, but that doesn't mean every single piece of art ever made has to be for everyone. visual art is a language in and of itself, and sometimes it cannot be translated.
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Why is Desscaras so likable? 🤔
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c5c3ce6290cdb53b24e3cce38a6e285c/2657411c06b43b45-35/s540x810/95205651b23cd4f29f19e8513a046c5dcf359bd3.jpg)
So something has been on my mind for a while now...
There's this series called "Ichi the Witch" that has been growing in popularity lately and among the cast of characters there's Desscaras, a powerful mage who's considered like a superstar among the witches for how good she is at her job, and Desscaras herself is aware of that and always takes as many chances as she can to be smug about it...
But for some reason it never feels annoying when she does it, and I'm very intrigued as to why that is.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3ba75333a7849df84010d54f51ed2018/2657411c06b43b45-ac/s540x810/5e29b8660c3b7f3ee0f2d7fc087324d6aede5f0e.jpg)
Desscaras is basically a fusion of Bulma and Piccolo from Dragon Ball.
Much like Bulma, she's a young and bratty genius who gets stuck with this wild young boy and now has to work with him while going on crazy adventures while doing her best to keep him in check.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ee3968678c340918fe89bc65fbf0de8b/2657411c06b43b45-a6/s540x810/fc73328a6990f5ddee802b4eb23d4be4d117ef87.jpg)
But she's also like Piccolo in the sense that she can also be very wise, observant, and calm when the situation calls for it and capable of taking advantage of what she knows and what she can do to come up with different solutions for different problems.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/103f4f8cbd8fc9fc9c9a689ac28b921d/2657411c06b43b45-ef/s540x810/47dd8571212e2072d74691cbe35b03056d491306.jpg)
I kept wondering why her smug attitude never annoyed me like it usually tends to when it comes to other "full-of-themselves" types of characters.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6a424f2b7869608e00c07d2d5f3e2edd/2657411c06b43b45-22/s540x810/f34d711c4bb4a160ae21158066759bc134d903a0.jpg)
Characters like Vegetta or Bakugou who because they're so strong, let it get to their heads and often end up behaving like total jerks in the earlier parts of their story arcs.
I feel like the reason it never bothered me with Desscaras is because, unlike these two, you never get a sense she's trying to prove something.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/0ceae6f086fc945dabba9fc4277df20b/2657411c06b43b45-53/s540x810/95cfa5ea49701c26bfc5de47da1481e3f9357476.jpg)
With Bakugou and Vegetta, you could always tell they were trying to make people understand they were hot stuff, to make it clear that they were the best, to convince others as much as they try to convince themselves to believe in their own hype.
It always had a hint of insecurity as if they needed people to believe in them because deep down, they didn't believe in themselves.
But you don't really get that from Desscaras.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6a6f1ef6256f6cc28f9fbdaf5434a380/2657411c06b43b45-29/s540x810/a426767a746d2fdfd3a4c78ce988560e0880a28b.jpg)
It always felt like she couldn't care less what people think of her. She doesn't need me, you, or anyone to buy into her hype, because she already buys it, and that's all she needs.
The reason her smugness isn't annoying is because you get the sense she's doing it not because she has something to prove but because that's just how she sees herself.
She's likable because you can feel how much she loves herself and who she is...
And in a modern world where everyone is constantly trying to compare themselves to someone else in order to measure how happy or how successful they are, seeing someone who's just already happy with who she is is a very refreshing experience.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d3d7bfcfdfb921d107ae9c9f248a4553/2657411c06b43b45-cb/s540x810/ee58badb95cfb332c171a65353003bcb88a4c4ee.jpg)
I saw some people often comparing her to Gojo, and I can totally see why.
They both are super strong characters who are so comfortably happy with who they are that they allow themselves to act a bit immature and goofy every now and then because they have enough trust in their own character and in their own strength to back it up.
Some sort of... "I'm strong and wise enough to allow myself to be silly" kind of thing if you will.
And that's the key word, "comfortable."
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/404f3cb57dfcda8bb9091cdeff67dc9d/2657411c06b43b45-40/s540x810/7d81881c5f3cefefd226679e27ea6c67ae614ca0.jpg)
We have several examples of characters who are confident in their own strength, but who you can still feel a sense of pressure from.
Like, they're so strong so they need to set an example, they need to be a role model, they need to make people feel safe, they need to live up to the image that's expected from them.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/58223b4d50abf9f850d9f158af6772df/2657411c06b43b45-c7/s540x810/12f37b772b5a5848598e22d25deee1836b94a690.jpg)
But Desscaras doesn't care about any of that. She doesn't try to be a role model or anything, she's just living her life the way she's most comfortable with.
The fact that she's one of the strongest doesn't get in the way of how she presents herself to others, her personality does.
The best way I can describe Desscaras is an ideal combination of power + confidence + and comfortableness.
She kinda feels like the perfect embodiment of strength. Characters in stories who are often labeled as "the strongest" or "the most powerful" are often depicted like people who let the power get to their heads and thus end up becoming huge jerks because of it, or they are so confident in their strength that they start to treat things with indifference because they know they can survive anything, or they feel so responsible for the power they carry that they became overly cold and serious about it.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/908d03b32488ffe66831e1eb23502cbb/2657411c06b43b45-41/s540x810/abc14a70ac181454e5a337c6225fd41d26943c3a.jpg)
There are several depictions of strength but we don't often get one that manages to balance it out this level of confidence, maturity, and comfort with one self.
You usually tend to feel like one element or two is missing to create something really unique, and Desscaras feels like that something unique where every element is just at the right place.
She feels like a very refreshing take on "The strongest" trope, a comfortable depiction of strength, and I'm excited to see where we go with her. 😊
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can i just say how i am totally captivated by this fic once again just going back and reading everything again had me mesmerized by this plot line, seriously it is so good you guy have no idea, it's written to perfection that you are completely be drawn into the story, just like a movie it plays out in front of your eyes as you read the words i am not even joking it's literally the best part about it that you get drawn into the fic like that it's magical I tell you... sorry for the babbling on but i can't fully express how much i love this fic and i can't not mention the prince and me because it just reminds me of it especially oc's personality and how she works so hard to achieve her goals i love it so much, yoon your words, how you describe oc passion and jungkook's desires it's just beautiful you build the scenes so well and not only that the emotions, their thoughts it's like you are one with the character and this world you have build it sometimes brings me to tears to read the way your wrote their thoughts like in chapter 3 I literally had tears in my eyes... I was honestly blown away and that scene in the at the cafe when they are truly just themselves, i can't stop saying this but they way you write is pure gold and i hang on all of your words, the way oc and jungkook conversations just flow and holds so much meaningful moments like i can't describe it but it feels more like just a conversation for a story it just latches on to my heart and i feel like your words have so much meaning behind them, the placement of certain words, what they talk about it's like poetry if i am being honest i feel like there should be an analysis of each line or thought that they have that's the best way I can describe it...
jumping into ch. 5 can i just say i love oc's spirals about the jungkook dating news i don't wanna spoil it but gosh i love her trying to decipher why it's that girl, why out of the people in the world it's her i really enjoyed that and her subtle inclusion of herself in the comparisons hehehehe oc i see you, also i am with Yuri and oc on the hate train, oc's just hilarious in that conversation i love it.. so the slow ass burn warning was very much needed hey wow no I still can't believe jk did a whole post with that girl and didn't tell oc, i somewhat get where his coming from but cmon how did he think she would react especially since their friendship is so strong and they clearly care about one another hehehe and jk's spiral after she confronts him ouch the slowest burn ever and the angst got me hooked, i am absolutely looking forward to how things proceed between jk and this girl and oc's take on everything will she be able to focus on her time with nel i'm pretty sure she's gonna have jk on the brain (also not sure if i mentioned it but I am sooooo not team this girl she's clearly soaking up all the influence jk brings and the complete opposite of what jk needs and she's oc's nemesis so not my vibe i can only imagine a scene where this girl just says the wrong thing in oc's presence and oc just flips and gives her a piece of her mind oooohh I hope that (also the giggle /eye roll, which i totally blame on oc by the way, that i let out when i read this man was at a party making out with this girl, jk whatcha doing my guy??????) lemme hop on into the next chapter and see jk's thought this man better explain himself 😉🤭🖤
To What We Were Before, And All The Things After | JJK | Ch. 5
Title: Shocking Announcements and Camouflaged Explanations
Pairing: Prince!College Student!JK x Fine Arts Major!(F)!Reader
Series Rating//Genre: (M) | College AU, Mild Royalty AU, Smut, Angst, Fluff, S2F2L, Indiffernce to lovers, sloooowwww ass burn
Summary: I'm sorry the prince is dating WHO?
Warnings: PG16, swearing, drinking, pining, angsssttttttttt, Jk has a lot of feelings, and so does Reader. Yuri being Yuri. Adaline being Adaline. TOUCH of fluff.
Word Count: 6,006
Release Date: October 20, 2023, 2:00PM
A/N 1: brain mush. finally out. Thank you for understanding. Already working on 6.
Series: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four
It’s 2:30pm on the Wednesday before fall reading week.
Saturday’s looking so beautiful. Sunny skies and comfortable temperatures.
It’s 2:30pm on the Wednesday before the Friday you get to see Nel for the first time since August.
And by god you can’t wait. You’re counting the days, minutes and seconds till he’s in front of you again.
But it’s also 2:30pm on the Wednesday after you mysteriously woke up in your bed after movie night. And that thought alone has been in the back of your mind since you opened your eyes Monday morning.
You’d thought about asking Jungkook what happened, but also didn’t think you could face the mortification if his answer was the one you almost 100% knew it was going to be. Hell, you could already feel the nose dive your stomach would make towards pavement the second you got confirmation.
So instead, like any other rational person, you shelved it away in the back corner of your brain. Far, far back, hopefully being covered with dirt and cobwebs and lint as the days pass on.
Though you have a nagging feeling that someone or something keeps dusting—anyways, there are much more important things to be focusing on.
Currently at the greenhouse cafe, you’re sipping on hot chocolate and painting this week's florals on a canvas almost half the size of you. Perched onto an easel, a bunch of sunflowers is beginning to take shape when your phone dings so many times you're worried someone’s dead.
Dropping your brush, you scoop it up from its place on the edge of the table, only to see a series of texts from Yuri, and you loose a worried breath.
Her contact name is the same from when you two went to a party the first night of freshman year. While you were sipping from your first and only drink that night, Yuri was sloshed out her mind and slurring her words. And thus, SlurryYuri was born.
She whines every time she sees you still haven’t changed it. You were never going to, of course.
SlurryYuri [2:32pm]: BITCH
Oh, here we go.
SlurryYuri [2:33pm]: YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHO WENT SOCIAL MEDIA OFFICIAL TODAY SlurryYuri [2:33pm]: BABE ANSWER SlurryYuri [2:33pm]: ANSWER ANSWER ANSWERRRRR SlurryYuri [2:34pm]: YNNNNNNNN
You [2:34pm]: Take a breath why dont you
SlurryYuri [2:34pm]: FINALLY. SlurryYuri [2:34pm]: By the gods YN… SlurryYuri [2:35pm]: ANYWAY SlurryYuri [2:35pm]: JUNGKOOK SlurryYuri [2:35pm]: as in PRINCE Jungkook SlurryYuri [2:36pm]: is dating ADALINE. SlurryYuri [2:36pm]: as in #1 ENEMY OF THE STATE EVIL BITCH ADALINE.
You spit out what was left of the hot chocolate in your mouth.
Thankfully, you had some of your mind about you and managed not to ruin your painting by turning your head…couldn’t say the same for the cafe wall though. Rustic brick now splattered with a lovely, Pollock-esque spray of brown.
Oops.
But Jungkook and…Adaline? That doesn’t make any sense whatsoever.
He hasn’t mentioned anything about this to you. You speak to him every day, see him almost every day, and nothing? Not a peep? A morsel? A hint? Nothing?
Maybe you two aren’t as close as you thought you were.
To be fair, you didn’t tell him about Nel. And now that you think about it, you haven’t seen or heard much from Jungkook since Sunday, which is unusual. He’s normally stuffing your inbox full of messages as the sun rises and sets, yet he’s sent maybe two a day since then.
You thought he was just busy with schoolwork.
Spiraling, you can’t help but wonder how long they’ve been seeing one another. How long he’s kept this little secret—not that it’s any of your business anyway, but he’s always seemed so open with you, with just about everything. So the fact that he kept this from you? What does that say?
Does he think you’d react like any other girl? That you would scream and cry and mourn and tell him he’s making a mistake, that you’re his true love? Like Adaline would if he weren’t dating her?
As if! And he knows that.
He knows that…right?
Doesn’t matter. Yes it does. No it doesn’t.
Ugh! Whatever!
Does he even know who Adaline really is? Or does she put on a mask in front of him too, like she does everyone else. She must because now you wonder how he could even possibly like someone like her, knowing…well her!
Bitchiness and duchess-ness aside, you and Adaline are incredibly similar, and Jungkook has never had any interest in you whatsoever, thank god. You and Adaline are both fine arts majors, both top of your class, talented, driven. You both work tirelessly for what you want, and don’t let others get in your way to success. Though only one of you will cheat if you have too, morals be damned. You both want your lives to yourself, to make your own path, to be trailblazers in your chosen fields.
That kind of woman doesn’t seem like Jungkook's type.
He needs someone who will follow him, and allow him to lead the nation. Someone who is okay submitting to him and his needs for the good of the people and the betterment of the Western Shores. He needs a politically inclined cheerleader, for lack of better phrasing. And that isn’t Adaline at all…or you, if you're still putting yourself in this conversation, which you’re not.
Also, wasn’t it a rule that princes could only marry princesses? Or was it that nice, genuine people shouldn’t end up with assholes who use and abuse those around them for social status and power? And isn’t that a thing for him too—that he hates when people use him for his name?
So how could he go for her? You can’t fathom a goddamn reason as to why—
Ah…Well.
You can, but you hate it.
Adaline is beautiful, and while no, not a princess, she does have a title the prince can be seen with in public without ridicule, friend or more than. Someone who wouldn’t be looked at like a charity case or a flavour of the week. Someone who’s used to the media. Adaline doesn’t have to hide from them. Isn’t scared to be seen by them with him. It wouldn’t ruin her future. It’ll only add to i—Wait.
Holy shit.
Adaline comes from one of the most influential families on the Eastern Shores. One with a lot of political power. Like, best friends with the Queen of the Eastern Shores, political power. Though she was only ever graced with sons. Adaline’s probably the closest thing she has to a daughter.
A marriage between Jungkook and Adaline could potentially unify the two sides again.
Jungkook and Adaline could re-unite the East and West after centuries of war and separation, and current amicable co-existence.
Now that’s a reason he would date her. to become power couple of the century.
The next step in history.
The whole idea of them makes more and more sense the more you think about it. Adaline, darling of the East marrying the future King of the West. And your stomach curls in on itself.
Just because it makes sense doesn’t mean you have to like it.
And you pray to whatever god or gods there are in this universe that he keeps her away from you and out of your conversations. Jungkook’s relationship isn’t any of your business, nor your interest, but you don’t know how well you’d be able to keep your mouth shut about her if he asks anything.
You know he likes that you’re honest. That you don’t hide things from him others would just to please him. But at what point do you put that aside to keep the peace in an otherwise very comfortable and still blossoming friendship? At what point does honesty become an obstacle rather than a building block?
You know that if Jungkook ever meets Nel and happens not to like him he would keep his mouth shut, mostly. Hopefully. He may give you a hard time but that’s just him. Jungkook knows your relationship is important to you, that it and Nel, make you happy. He would respect that.
So again, who are you to speak ill of the person he’s chosen for himself? Maybe he knows something you don’t, sees something in her that you haven’t.
Just…Why did it have to be Adaline?
He could have anyone, anyone—on campus, in the West, the East, for the love of god, he could have anyone in the entire ass realm he wants! It’s easy to forget when he speaks with his mouth full, dresses in baggy, comfy clothes, and whines about movie choices, but Jungkook is still Prince of the Western Shores.
He’s still the most eligible bachelor on the continent.
Yet somehow he chose the one person you can’t stand to be within 1000 feet of. He chose the one person you never thought he would’ve liked for himself because underneath everything, she is everything he claims to hate.
He chose Adaline Dupree.
So yeah, you wonder why he hid it from you. Why he felt like he couldn’t tell you. Sure, you hated her, but he doesn’t know that. Probably.
Maybe his love life is something he keeps private? Everyone has that right, and maybe that’s what he’s used to doing due to his every choice being splashed on every news and media outlet there is.
You roll your eyes. Merciless vultures.
So maybe he’s not used to sharing this side of himself with others. Maybe that’s why he didn’t tell you anything.
And with all of this chaos now flitting around your brain, you failed to notice the little slice of pain behind your sternum the more they ricochet around up there. You’re hurt.
You didn’t expect it to hurt.
Out of everything you could feel about this: confusion, anger, exasperation, annoyance, you don’t feel any of them. You just feel upset that he didn’t come to you about it. Didn’t feel like he could discuss it with you.
You are the person your friends—old and new—come to talk to. Always have been. You’re the one who has the rational, well thought out advice. The common sense distributor. The one sought out to help, regardless of the situation.
And you love it. You love that you’re able to help your friends. Love that they trust you with such things. That you’re the person they seek assistance and guidance from. The ear they bounce their thoughts off of. You’ve always been told you have ‘knowledge beyond your years’ as your mother says. You take pride in that. It gives your life that much more meaning.
So even though you don’t want to, and know you shouldn’t, because it has nothing to do with you and you know that…you’re taking this as somewhat of a personal blow.
Maybe you’re losing your touch. You hope not.
But, you need to react like you normally would. Like you still hate the prince for how he humiliated Yuri, just like she hates Adaline for you. Solidarity between best friends, even if it’s fake.
Come on YN you got this, you think to yourself.
You [2:40pm]: I almost feel sorry for him. After how he treated you tho? They deserve each other
No they don’t, no they don’t, no they don’t.
He deserves so much better.
SlurryYuri [2:40pm]: I’m just surprised he went for her tbh SlurryYuri [2:41pm]: isnt she like a total bitch? To you at least? SlurryYuri [2:41pm]: like just knowing what I do from the tiny bit of time I spent with him, she doesn’t really seem to be his type
Vindication!
You [2:42pm]: uh yeah, like 100% yes. Shes a rich party girl who doesnt know the word punishment, always gets what she wants, regardless if she works for it or not. And takes it when she especially doesnt deserve it You [2:43pm]: probably explains how she got him 🙄
Vivian pops outside to check in, and takes the couple steps to reach your table, some napkins and a large cup of water in hand.
“Hey! Are you okay? I saw that spit take and one; wow, that was impressive. But two; is everything alright?” she asks, passing you the napkins. The water gets thrown on the wall to wash off the splatter.
You wipe up your chin and remnants of projected hot chocolate on the table.
“Sorry, thank you. Yes, I’m fine,” you lie easily. A little scared of how easy it’s becoming. “I just learned some really shocking news is all. I shouldn’t have read it with a full mouth.”
“Oh! That makes sense. I hope whatever it is turns out fine.”
“Thanks, me too.”
You know Vivian means well, but she doesn’t know that that is the very last thing you want. You want Adaline’s corruptive, cutthroat, cruel nature away from Jungkook.
But is he just Jungkook anymore?
You’ve spent enough time together to consider him a friend, a close friend even. You’ve grown to care for him, platonically, similar to the way you do Yuri. And the fact that you want Adaline as far away from him as she can get so he doesn't go through whatever shit she’ll inevitably get him wrapped up in, definitely says something.
Adaline loves many things—art, fashion, publicity—but the thing she likes better than anything else?
Attention.
She thrives on it. The more eyes on her the better. She’s a ‘there’s no such thing as bad press’ type, and you worry what that means for him.
Especially now that she’s taken them public—because you know it was her that did it, he would have never—and she’s going to be the hottest topic in all of the newest news cycles.
Say they’ve been seeing one another since the beginning of the school year? Just a guess, but a likely correct one—you shiver at the thought. That’s less than seven weeks to get to know one another before camera crews and reporters start breathing down their necks. They’ll ask and comment on everything you thought you might go through at one point. But unlike you, Adaline will face it head on with a smile and win them over. Gladly welcome them with open arms.
Because exactly like Jungkook fears with everyone new, she desires everything a relationship with him would give her.
Status, fame, power, wealth, brand sponsorships, popularity, jealousy, people wishing they could be her. You couldn’t build a better trap to lure her into if you tried.
Jungkook is potentially unknowingly feeding her already enormous ego simply by publicly dating her. And it dawns on you that your classes with her are going to become even more insufferable.
Great.
You don’t even know if she’s going to care that she has him. As wonderful, kind and talented as Jungkook is, you have a very good sense that she’ll be just like rest; happy to receive what he can give her, and not a damn to be given about him.
So now you worry. You worry for him and for his safety and for his feelings.
Because that’s what friends do.
Right?
“Hey.”
You look up to see Jungkook rounding the back corner to the cafe, backpack slung over a shoulder, mask, hat and hoodie all too familiar. You’d be able to spot him a mile away now, it’s all in his posture and eyes.
Maybe he should invest in some sunglasses.
And slouch.
You’re elbows deep in yellow and brown paint from the sunflowers that now fill the canvas in front of you. You’ve been experimenting with texture, oil paint thicker in some places to give off a more 3D effect. Stripes of green carved into the medium by the edge of a long palette knife mimic stems, and fat leaves placed with precision also riddle the cloth.
As he nears, you try your best not to come off as upset, pissed off or worried when you reply.
“Hey,” you fail miserably, sounding exactly like you’re all kinds of upset, and pissed off, and worried.
Shit.
Like always, he notices immediately.
“Everything okay?” he’s taking his spot at the table beside you, the one that seats four, having abandoned his original one weeks ago.
You two both found yourselves here so frequently that over time, he started sitting next to you without asking. Always in the same spots. Always side by side. Him at the closest chair to you, you at the same one you always have.
Sure, you two shared movie nights and fun messages, you talk everyday and pretty much talk about whatever you want. But when it comes to academics, he knows he has to tread water a little differently around you. He can’t constantly start conversations the way he would at movie night when you’re at the greenhouse cafe. You’re here to work and to study, and if he wants to be there too, he has to respect that about you, and know not to take it personally.
So you work together in comfortable silence most of the time, occasionally breaking it to have a conversation, get snacks, or pose for one another’s homework. It’s become another routine you share, an unspoken agreement that when you were both there at the same time, you worked together.
And you haven’t minded since that first time. The one when you decided to say yes to your friendship.
You welcome it. Welcome him. His presence.
Company’s nice to have when it’s wanted.
When it’s him.
And whether you know it or not, you seem to work better when you are in each other's immediate orbit. You work better when he works alongside you, able to focus better due to body doubling and to have a second opinion at the ready when you need it. Just like he worked better when you worked alongside him, a willing model any time he needed, and an open ear when he wanted to work something out.
You two just work. And because of this, he also picks up when something isn’t quite right with the atmosphere you two have created.
Play it off YN.
“Yeah, just focused. Sorry.”
He doesn’t believe you for a second. When you focus you have a very distinct look on your face, eyes clearer, an eyebrow constantly quirked in self reflection, and that isn’t the one you have on right now.
But he lets it slide. For now. Somethings up with you, and he knows better than to push you before you’re ready.
“That’s okay. I’m running in, need anything?”
“I’m good, thanks,” you go back to painting, barely acknowledging him and shutting out the outside world.
Yeah, something’s definitely up.
You’re ignoring him so hard you don’t notice Jungkook lifting your hot chocolate just enough to feel it’s empty.
Vivian’s behind the counter as he enters and takes off his mask to flash her a wide smile.
“Hey Vivian, how are you today?”
She blushes like she does every time he comes in, hands slowing in their task.
“Hey JK, I’m good. You?” He had to ask her about a hundred times to drop the ���your highnesses,’ ‘you majesty’s,’ and ‘prince’s.’ Telling her it really was okay, and that no, she wasn’t going to get in trouble for it. It took her some time, but eventually she came around and it’s made his experience here so much better. So much more normal.
She’d settled on JK because ‘it makes me feel like I’m listening to what you want while also not feeling guilty and weird about calling you Jungkook without the prince part.’
He could work with that logic.
“I’m alright, could I get my usual and a hot chocolate for YN? With a little extra secret ingredient if you're so inclined?” You shared the not so secret stash secret with Jungkook about a week after you said yes. “She seems upset. Have you noticed anything off lately? Has she said anything to you?”
Jungkook peruses the pastry display while Vivian starts on his drink.
“Not really, she did a wicked spit take earlier about some news her friend told her, but said she was fine, just surprised. Besides that, focused maybe? Or maybe the opposite of that and a little distracted?” She thinks for a second. “Does she have an exam coming up that you know about? She gets a little weird before those.”
He knows exactly what’s meant by that. Witnessed it himself, bunny slippers and all.
But no, you don’t. Your midterms aren’t until the first week of November, nearly two weeks away. You started studying for them last week.
He spots egg tarts in the back corner of the pastry display, hiding. Perfect.
“I don’t think that’s it, but thanks though. I’ll get it out of her eventually, especially if I have one of those egg tarts to butter her up first,” he says in a questioning tone to ask for one while pointing at them.
Vivian smiles a knowing smile. He wants to know what it means because she’s worn it around him for a while now, and he’s half tempted to ask at this point.
“I think that could be arranged.”
Jungkook pays and heads to your tables again. You’re still locked into your own world of colour and canvas. He subtly sets down the hot chocolate and bagged tart so that you won’t notice until you pop the bubble you’re in.
Halfway through a business assignment he hears your surprise. The weird look on your face finally breaking, a grateful one taking its place as you peek at him.
A soft, genuine, “thank you,” finds his ears as your lips meet lid, and you can’t meet his eye. He knows you often forget to drink or eat when you’re in the zone.
Maybe now with a warm drink and some goodies in your belly, you’re willing to talk about it.
“You sure everything’s okay?” he asks again.
Your deep sigh and unfocused gaze says enough to him.
You are willing to talk.
Quietly, almost ashamed sounding, you ask, “Why didn't you tell me about her?”
Her?
Oh.
Oh…
You meant Adaline. Why hadn’t he told you about Adaline.
“Why did I find out an hour ago from Yuri screaming at me through text messages and not from you? Is it something you’re private about? Do you not trust me?”
The truth was that he was hoping to keep it under wraps for a bit longer, actually, hoping you never found out so he wouldn’t have to explain the reason why.
He still doesn’t have too, and he won’t. Not the real reason.
He won’t ruin things. He can’t.
But he also should have known better. Should have known that not telling you would hurt you instead. Of course he trusted you.
You talk everyday, sometimes for hours, sometimes just to check in. You hang out during the week, whether it be at the cafe like you are right now, or for Sunday movie night.
Six weeks isn’t a long time, but it was plenty when he thinks about how much time you two have already spent together, how much you’ve gotten to know one another.
How comfortable you are in each other’s presence.
Six weeks isn’t a long time, but it feels like you’ve always been there with him, listening, cheering, supporting.
Six weeks isn't a long time, and yet it feels like it’s been forever.
Of course you’re hurt he didn’t tell you. So he doesn’t lie to you, but he also doesn’t tell you the full truth.
“Oh…uh, that.” He rubs a hand at the nape of his neck. “That just kind of happened recently actually, like Monday recently. My father’s been really pressuring me to find someone to court,” and I couldn’t go with my first choice. “So I did.”
“And you went with Adaline?” You ask carefully.
“Uh, yeah? Is there something wrong with her?”
Adaline isn’t his first, second or tenth choice. She's his father’s choice. Might as well appease him and at least try with this girl. It’s going…fine, so far.
Adaline wanted to make it social media official as soon as possible, wanted what he could give her, like everyone else. Like he expected. And so he willingly suffered through a photo session where she staged everything to make it look perfectly unposed and natural. Even though none of it was.
She’d told him to put his arms around her waist and kiss her forehead, and it worked. The picture wasn’t bad, they both looked great. But he hated it anyway. It wasn't a spur of the moment decision, or sincere. It wasn’t a picture of two fools drunk on love, wanting to capture something beautiful for their future selves to look back on to reminisce over.
It was an uncomfortable hour and a half of touching and kissing a complete stranger, and it is the complete opposite of what he wants in a relationship.
He wants genuine and carefree and candid. He wants honest, true feelings and social media posts saved for anniversaries and birthdays instead of using them as a mini documentary of every part of his life through pictures.
He wants shitty birthday cakes made from scratch, and blurry polaroid pictures of kisses in the rain to put in his wallet when he’s away from them. He wants silly nicknames and inside jokes no one else will understand.
He wants midnight walks hand in hand under moonlight and quirky habits he picks up from them. He wants pictures of precious moments and holidays celebrated between just the two of you and movie nights under blanket forts with popcorn and hot chocolate and egg tarts.
He wants real.
He wants authentic.
He wants love.
Not some staged artificial bullshit for an online presence that means nothing once you’re dead.
But this is new and exciting for Adaline. He understands that a relationship with him is a very big deal, that she’s not used to it yet, and that it hasn’t been nearly long enough for him to see the true her yet.
It’s only been 44 hours. Not that he’s counting.
So he’s going to give her some time, and have some faith that maybe she shows him that side of herself if it exists. He doesn't think she's going to change all that much for several reasons, the first being her enormous reputation, and the second being that she’s a politician's daughter, but he’s going to at least try. The way he hopes she will.
And if nothing does change, and she stays the exact same, at least she’s pretty enough to distract him.
He knows that’s not the most mature or princely thing to do or think. In fact, he knows it’s quite asshole-ish of him, but if Adaline’s going to openly use him for her own personal gain, why shouldn’t he be able to use her just a little bit too?
She isn’t unfamiliar with political relationships, having been born from one, so he doesn’t think she would be against it either. And it’s not like he’ll be mistreating her, quite the opposite in fact.
He’ll shower her with expensive gifts and happily take however many pictures she wants. He’ll smother her in physical affection and get or do whatever she needs in order to make her happy.
Because as much as she clearly wants this relationship with him for whatever reason, he desperately needs it more with every passing day. He needs somewhere to put everything he’s feeling. And if that happens to be in a beautiful woman his father approves of who he could possibly, eventually grow feelings for? It’s a win-win in his book.
But at the same time, sometimes he really hates the shit he has to navigate in his Royal Life.
While Jungkook is caught in his thought spiral, you bite your tongue. Like actually bite your tongue.
Don’t say shit Y/N.
Don't say anything.
It’s not your business. What they have together and what’s between you and Adaline are completely separate, unrelated things. One’s a rivalry and one's a relationship. Those are not the same.
At. All.
So, still untrusting of your mouth, you shake your head and dodge his question by changing the direction of the conversation.
“Why did you go public so quickly?” you ask, feeling like it’s the safest question you can muster. “It’s literally only been two days.”
He shrugs. “She wanted to, and I didn’t say no.”
“Courseshedid,” you mutter under your breath. That should’ve been red flag number one. Two days? Who goes social media official after two days!?
“What?”
“Nothing,” you try your best to give him the closest thing to a smile you can currently muster, forcibly removing any acid from every word. “I hope she makes you happy.”
He doesn’t tell you she was hand picked by the king for him.
That at twenty-four, he still isn’t pulling all of his own strings. It’s pathetic.
“Me too.”
He hopes she’ll help more than anything. Even if it’s just for a little while. “I’ve never been in a public relationship before. But the kingdom and my father seem to like her, so I’m sure I will too, with time.”
It takes all of your focus not to roll your eyes.
Of course they do. Of course the King already likes her, she’s got the attitude and knowledge for politics, so she’s perfect! Strong potential to be the heartless, ruthless Queen to what you already know will be Jungkook's kind and giving King.
Great! Just great. That’s just…great…
Maybe you’re biased. Maybe there’s something in her that you can’t see because of your past with her.
Maybe they really are perfect for one another and you just refuse to see it. Opposites attract, isn’t that what they say? Well Jungkook and Adaline couldn’t be more opposite of one another.
So you decide that you won’t let your personal feelings get in the way. That you’ll keep the peace and support his choice, regardless of your opinion of her, even if you hate his choice.
And you really hate his choice.
“I have no doubt.”
The seat heater in the car you rented to pick Nel up from the airport keeps your tush toasty while you drive.
Friday night has never felt so exciting!
You can barely sit still, the leg not pressing the pedals won’t stop bouncing and you have to sit on your hands at stop lights to try and keep calm.
God you missed him, it's only been two months since you last saw him, and yet it feels like forever.
You have the piece of printer paper with ‘Smoosh’ printed on it in the biggest font you could have horizontally. It’s something you do every year, and every year it never fails to bring the biggest smile to Nel’s face when you wave it wildly the second you see him.
Pulling up to the terminal you keep your eyes peeled for the first parking spot you can find. Never an easy feat at this particular airport but you manage to find one somewhere in the J lot under section 1, whatever that meant. All you care about right now is that you’re decently close to the doors as you grab your phone, bag, sign, and that you’re perfectly on time.
Entering through sliding doors, you find the waiting area mostly empty, so you pick the best place to sit as you wait for his flight to land: dead center and up front.
You can’t wait. Just a few more minutes and you’ll see him.
You can’t wait. You can’t wait. You can't wait!
Your phone dings and you jump at it, looking for the ‘I’ve landed’ text from Nel, but it’s not from Nel.
It’s from Jungkook.
Me [10:42pm]: See you in a week. I hope you enjoy your time with Nel.
That sounds okay, right? It sounds neutral? Safe?
Like he hasn’t been dreading this week since that day you told him about it?
Jungkook hopes so. Because he wants you to enjoy your week off.
Your week off with Nel.
And not him.
That’s normal, he has to remind himself. That he’s not anyone particularly special to you, just a friend. Not someone you would go out of your way for to spend all your free time with over break. Not even for two hours on Sunday nights.
Just a regular, average, nothing important about him…
Friend.
He doesn’t want to feel like this. Doesn’t want to have all of these… whatever these feelings are, about and for you.
He really doesn’t want to. But more than that, he can’t.
He can’t have any sort of non-platonic feelings for the first person who didn’t give a shit about who he was. For the person who makes him feel more like himself than anyone else.
For the person who has a boyfriend.
For the person who isn’t his girlfriend.
For the person who’s you.
But he can’t fucking help it!
So he’s been shoving them down, down, down. So far down that he’s able to function around you.
Because it’s you.
You’re kind, and caring. Talented, beautiful, giving. Driven, smart. You respect what he asks for and what he wants for himself, not because he's the Prince demanding, but because it's him—because it’s Jungkook—that asks you, and you liste–
No! Stop it. He can’t. He can’t!
Stop, stop, stop—
You have Nel! 5 years in, loving, loyal boyfriend, probably soon to be more after graduation, Nel.
It’s expected that you would spend what little time off you have with the boyfriend you barely get to see, wouldn’t it? Makes sense that every second you have, is saved for him?
For being happy with who makes you happy?
Jungkook wants to see you happy. And Nel makes you happier than he’s ever seen you before, so he can’t be too upset with the guy, even though he wants to be. He wants to hate him. But how could he hate someone that gave you the smile that completely shatters his heart.
Picasso [10:43pm]: Thanks! I will. See you soon😊
With a broken smile, he turns his phone off and puts it in his pocket.
He’s up against a wall, red cup in his hand filled with something that he’s barely touched yet, trying not to be too noticeable.
Adaline’s dragged him to some party on campus he really doesn't care about. But she said it would be good to be seen out together now that things are official.
Out in the open, for everyone to see. For everyone to talk about.
So he went, because she asked him to.
And now he’s regretting it. The music is shit, the people smell and everything he touches is damp or sweaty. This isn’t a part of the university experience he ever intended on participating in, but here he is.
Adaline appears from the crowd, walking over to where he stands, a cup of her own in one hand and the other finding its way to his neck.
One thing Jungkook’s glad for is the alcohol. Something to help his racing thoughts, pounding heart, and roiling gut. Something to drown out the world. Even if he’s only had two gulps so far.
More, then.
Taking a hefty swig he revels in the burn that crawls down his throat. It feels good, it makes him feel less. So he takes another one and another, and then pours his turmoiled feelings about you and Nel into Adaline’s lips. Shoving them down, further and further, until it’s like they were never even there in the first place.
The only thing that's there now is the fire in his stomach, Adaline, and her cherry flavoured lip gloss.
Chapter Six: Eastern Arrivals and Unwanted Doubt
A/N 2: I'm so sorry this took for literal ever. I never intend on taking forever but unfortunately real life gets in the way and I'm left with no creative energy to output writing I'm proud of.
A/N 3: As always, Thank you for reading, loves. Xoxo - Yoon <3
<- Back
#reblog#jungkook#jjk#jungkook:series#jungkook:fluff#jungkook:angst#favourites!jjk#re:prince!jjk#re:college!jjk
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Hello! Hope you are doing well!
Random thought I had to share: Alhaitham obtained his Vision after reading a section about language. The passages itself lean into his philosophy of uniqueness and the individual. Makes sense, with Visions bring tied to ambitions and all. But at the same time, this is language - a system people developed to communicate with other people.
There's such a neat dichotomy with the two facets of Alhaitham's character: egoism as well as social affiliation. And I think it's that dichotomy that makes Alhaitham’s character stories so interesting. There are a lot of things directly stated, as well as things implied or hidden in plain sight. The prose is written objectively rational and detached from personal emotion, but sentiments are still discernible through omission.
Kaveh's character stories get the most recognition - and for good reason when it's written so easily to empathize with. Meanwhile Alhaitham's really comes across as academic jargon at first glance. But I really feel there is as much depth in Alhaitham’s stories as much as Kaveh's. And it only just struck me why his Vision story intrigued me so much. There's no clear indication on when it happened, but I like to imagine it occurred sometime after the fallout. The passage he read affirms his personal beliefs and ambitions, and I can see the text evoking his longing to reconnect at the same time.
I don't know. Maybe I'm looking too much into it.
Hiya! Thank you for your interesting ask!
I completely agree with your thoughts on Alhaitham’s character stories, they really are chock full of detail, even more so with what’s been omitted and what has to be inferred, whereas Kaveh’s are more straightforward. I think this ties in really nicely with their individual characters, where kaveh’s empathy and sensibility shines through, whereas alhaitham’s stories are given in a rational, detached way – but like you said, this doesn’t mean they’re absent of emotion in any way. I’ve gone through some of my personal favourites in terms of potential omissions and sentiments that can be inferred
This passage gives the reason for alhaitham’s sarcasm, which I think is interesting in fleshing out his character in terms of him wanting to evade unwanted interaction, as it’s a call to question the things alhaitham says and why, and also the motives behind his bickering with kaveh. alhaitham can be seen to instigate supposed ‘trouble’ with kaveh by outright goading or teasing, such as when we’re introduced to kaveh during the archon quest, which can be seen as alhaitham genuinely enjoying his and kaveh’s rapport, and yet kaveh perceives this as alhaitham antagonising him.
it can demonstrate the difference between kaveh’s method of communication as opposed to alhaitham’s, as kaveh states that it’s come to a point where he can’t tell the difference between sarcasm and genuine praise, whereas alhaitham typically uses sarcasm as a means of deflection and evasion, but also to goad kaveh into interacting. It’s an interesting passage (for me) because it seems to directly ask for engagement to question alhaitham, which is exactly what alhaitham values as knowledge, this ability to analyse and question, which aligns so well with the alhaitham style of narrative for his character stories – of course he would invite the reader to question the information they’re given (at least, that’s how I choose to see it hehe)
additionally, this passage seems to contrast directly with alhaitham inviting kaveh to live with him, considering that his and kaveh’s relationship is described as ‘terrible’ by outsiders, and that alhaitham claims to want to leave the house of daena to avoid another interaction with kaveh, but doesn’t – it can raise the question, if alhaitham wants to avoid trouble, why does he go out of the way to include kaveh in his life?
The mirror passage is pretty damning in terms of sentiment I think hahaha, whilst there are no mentions of alhaitham’s feelings regarding their argument or how he feels at the present, it’s very evident that this is a significant, positive shift for him in what he gains by having kaveh directly involved in his life – being kaveh himself
Also, alhaitham’s mentions of home are almost exclusively tied to his grandmother’s house, and then the property he and kaveh were given due to their thesis project – a property which he moved into on his own accord, despite having inherited his grandmother’s home. I’ve discussed it’s likely that alhaitham expected to run into kaveh at some point upon moving into this once shared property (as there’s nothing really here to suggest otherwise, as the reasons for alhaitham’s move aren’t mentioned), so it’s discernible that living with kaveh has never once posed as an issue for alhaitham
I’ve talked about the line regarding kaveh’s dissatisfaction here as it essentially builds into what alhaitham considers important to the both of them functioning as each other’s mirror. as a side note, I really like the EN translation listing build up here, as if listing properties that are supposedly almost inconsequential only to amount to what is essential not only to alhaitham’s perspective as a scholar, but alhaitham as a person, with kaveh’s personal attributes listed beside his scholarly views
When looking at this passage in particular and comparing it to his character stories as a whole, it’s actually really touching ahaha alhaitham’s interactions are limited with rebutting ‘offensive’ comments spoken at work meetings he chooses to attend, and nodding at those he considers himself friendly with in the street, as well as meetings with nahida and those he is friendly with, so alhaitham being the one to invite kaveh to live with him can almost come out of nowhere, especially as there are no recorded feelings about his past friendship with kaveh, other than that he values kaveh’s intelligence and that they worked together, but fell out due to differences – which is then described as a typical occurrence in the akademiya, as if calling attention to this generalisation of the description of this event. It makes the omission here questionable, as alhaitham’s perspective of the argument, along with his personal feelings, aren’t given, whereas kaveh goes into much more detail
Additionally, alhaitham makes repeated references to avoiding prejudices and maintaining objectivity, so him valuing kaveh’s opposing perspective makes perfect sense, but alhaitham goes above this by actively considering kaveh his mirror, which aligns them as perfect equals, something that alhaitham obviously values and prioritises - kaveh is very much highlighted as an irreplaceable bond
I think this is a perfect example of alhaitham’s sentiment present but not explicitly stated. Alhaitham’s life pursuit of comfort is based upon his grandmother’s wishes for him. I find the phrase ‘he was informed’ really interesting, in that he was seemingly previously unaware that this had been arranged for him by his grandmother, in order for him to learn from other darshans, to maintain a balanced, clear perspective, like a one-sided communication from his grandmother – and this leading into how alhaitham lives by his grandmother’s advice is especially touching
Following this then, alhaitham moving out of his inherited house and into the new property (which again we aren’t given a reason as to why), and looking through the books his parents had left, supposedly for the first time in a while, perhaps even since looking through them for the first time? But as it’s stipulated that alhaitham has next to no memories of his parents, and all he knows is through his grandmother, this passage reads as alhaitham gaining a sense of them through their writing, a one-way communication. The passage ends with the encapsulation of his character stories, abiding by his grandmother’s wishes for him to pursue a life suitable for him, which I think is a really moving sentiment. there’s no detail given about personal feelings as there might have been in kaveh’s writing style, but there doesn’t need to be with all this implied sentiment, that invites the reader to engage with the text
!!! you have a really interesting take on alhaitham’s vision. I don’t think it’s farfetched to associate this with kaveh considering that alhaitham’s character stories as a whole invite interpretation, and they allude to kaveh’s philosophies very often when outlining alhaitham’s opposing views on collectivism
It does seem that alhaitham gained his vision after the argument, as he was out on a research trip, which presumably he undertook on his own, as the thesis with kaveh is the only joint project he worked on so ‘people are controlled by language under many circumstances’ is interesting to me here as it’s a rather ambiguous line, being that it can have both positive connotations (in terms of making a language unique to the respective individual, aligning with alhaitham’s individualism) and negative connotations
In relation to kaveh, this line from the tome could represent the limits of language, or rather the subjectivity of it, in that language can easily be misconstrued by another. During their argument, I see it that alhaitham’s underlying concern for kaveh’s philosophies is construed as an attack on kaveh’s character, as this tension is described as 'exploding spectacularly’, so it’s comprehensible that in the heat of the moment, intentions weren’t worded in the ideal way. In this sense, regret can perhaps be inferred here, as the restrictions of language failed in communicating himself effectively, which carries this sense of longing to connect that you mention with this dichotomy of egoism and social affiliation
Alhaitham’s character stories are so fun to tear into, there’s so many angles to take when reading them precisely because of certain omissions and implications of personal feelings – when contrasting them with kaveh’s, it becomes evident just how much emotion and how many details have been left out on the surface, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there! Thank you so much for your ask, it’s certainly given me a lot to think about! <33333
#haikaveh#kavetham#alhaitham#kaveh#genshin impact#the first time i read alhaitham's fifth character story and got to the end i think my brain went numb?? like it just hits so hard#alhaitham's character stories make me feel so many things so thank you so much for your ask!!!
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@uniquecellest replied to your post:
They're switches but Charles tops more Despite coming from wealth he and Raven have shopped from like Dollar Tree/ .99 cent and similar stores for food, it's a trait they've carried over with their romantic interests as well Charles's love languages is gift giving and words of affirmation Erik's love languages are baking/cooking (i think that counts as gift giving idk) and acts of service (jm so bad with describing love languages lol)
In mafia aus Charles should be the head boss not bc of wealth but bc he does things differently and he and his crew are so discreet no one knows what they really look like. Most people confuse Erik for being the head when really hes Charles's right hand and/or civilian partner that knows about the mafia In pregnancy aus (at least the ones that follow the 2010 movies) I don't think either would a) know they're pregnant if jt happens right before cuba (we can talk if it's like months before) but even then they wouldn't use the pregnancy to get the other on their side. They'd let bygones be bygones (Hank runs the school, Raven the brotherhood, these two fucked off to the countryside somewhere to raise their kids) Hank and Darwin are more Charles's kids, Angel and Alex more Erik's, Sean was the kid that would've kept them together I think Shaw should've caused more angst for them by meeting Charles earlier. Maybe bringing stuff about Erik where Charles would've punched him (Erik: I'd hate to be on the side of Charles's right hook. *Erik 11 yrs later) Alpha Charles Omega Erik Moira knew about them. She did. And she kept it secret bc 60s. They would've been at the frontlines at Stonewall Nina and Peter love Charles to a point Erik thinks they favor Charles over him (it's okay. Jean does the same thing makes Charles think she prefers Erik over Charles) They're audhd4audhd Bad guys need to learn if you want to take over the world you kidnap them both but keep them separate. Real good torture. (Also you're dead in like 5min if you kidnap one and leave the other roaming around) Charles reintroduced Erik to some of his Jewish heritage by doing small things with him (i forget the name but I know there's one thing where Jewish people don't eat or drink from sundown Friday until sundown Saturday) eventually Erik reached out to a rabi (idk how it's spelt) and they start celebrating every Jewish holiday together Bc of his upbringing Charles has a complicated relationship with religion via his parents. He'll celebrate Christmas and Easter but not much else. (He mainly just celebrates Christmas the more he gets older) Theyd run the US for 16 yrs (2 terms Charles 2 terms Erik while the other is vp/first gentleman) Erik thinks Charles has fine china, and tries to make any metal plates form back together if broken (Charles doesn't care.) Living together outside the Xavier estate they have a small cottage that looks like it's at most two bed on the outside but it's super spacious inside and hosts all of their kids and friends in their own rooms Scalp massages help Charles with any headaches (regular or chronic) Erik is more than happy to give
I have things to say because you fed me with these head canons. in order are my responses:
agreed. both switch, but yeah, charles tops more.
raven, in my mind, would be more prone to shop at places like that, and over time, charles just gets used to it because his sister drags him there enough for random snacks and drinks. and honestly, who wants to pay loads of money for basic essentials.
charles dotes on erik, it's disgusting.
erik helps charles out whenever he knows he needs it most without having to be told, and charles fawns over it.
love that. it's because erik is scary to most upon meeting them, but charles running things is great.
so what you're saying is that once charles/erik tells the other of their pregnancy, both would cave and just give up their goals to raise their babies together? I'm soft, I love that.
ooooh, spicy thought. always thought of alex as charles' kid, very interesting. though sean definitely would have kept them together - he's like the baby.
in what way do you think charles would have met shaw? just sometime before cuba? or entirely different circumstances? (I imagine you're keeping to the movie-verse, so I assume before cuba.) charles would have taken one look in that man's mind and severely debilitated him.
praise alpha!charles and omega!erik. (I'm going to get around to writing a fic with that, I swear.)
agreed, and love the concept of it. moira really is a great friend.
YES. with raven alongside as well, I feel.
ooooh, you think jean has a very strong relationship with erik, nice. I feel like that's not common, but maybe I'm just a jean-hater from time to time. I'm learning to love her and her relationship with her dads though.
yeah, I think erik definitely has some neurodivergency there, but charles is definitely autistic in my mind. his telepathy alleviates his autistic tendencies, but when he's without it, he's fully unmasked and unable to gather the social cues he gained by his telepathy. though, it does make me wonder if he has relied on his telepathy for so long that he naturally is unable to do x, y, and z without it, and his mannerisms, actions, and thoughts appear to align with autism. kind of like what came first, y'know?
oh, yeah - erik can hear charles' getting tortured in the other room and vice versa. definitely affects them psychologically and emotionally.
sabbath and rabbi, right? and yeah, I love the idea of reclamation of erik's ethnicity and religion. however, I also feel that erik might have difficulty doing so and tends to abstain from jewish tradition because he feels slighted by whatever higher power might be out that there chose to do those atrocities to his people. I've seen both sides from older jewish people who survived the holocaust, and I think both ideas could apply to erik. the first one is beautiful though.
agreed. I just tend to look at charles as an agnostic atheist. I see him too involved with science to believe in anything else other than the absence of a god.
could you imagine charles and erik as presidents? the things they'd get done? the stark differences between how they run the country? oof, incredible.
lol, kind of love erik just not knowing but thinking it's important to charles.
yeah, them having an alternate house is definitely a big head canon of mine. the house will be a little cottage or cabin with tons of books and two chess tables and barely any metal around, and they go there whenever they just need to get away or spend time away from technologically advanced world. after all, they are old men.
erik giving charles a scalp massage is the cutest thought ever. he'd do anything for his man.
#i replied to the head canons in the read more!#thank you for these sorry i got around to them so late!#cherik#asks
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hi i would like to know face, canvas and informal from the character design asks for madeleine and côme ty (@ do-this-for-me)
Thanks a lot for the ask!!
Face - Describe your OC's face. What's their smile like? Are their orbs cerulean? What would someone notice first when looking at them?
Madeleine
Her kindness literally shows on her face. Everything about her features is soft and gentle. She has very round cheeks tinted with a constant blush. She wears her hair loose for the most part, only tiying back with a bow the first few strands that fall in her face and she's got a little bang. Soft dark brown eyes, glinting with knowledge. Her smile is the thing that people notice the most upon meeting her. She's always smiling and gosh her smile is blinding. It's not just a slight tug of her lips, it's a full-on smile that brings out her dimples and make her eyes squint a little. It would make anyone fall in love with her on the spot.
Côme
Slyness is written all over their face. They've got hazel eyes that glint with mischief, a constant grin which screams that they're up to no good. A little bit of stubble that they grow before shaving it all because it grows a little weird and they do not like it. A slim face that lets their surprisingly sharp jaw show. The thing that people always notice first is their hair. They have a a very big, very fluffy, very curly wolf cut mullet. But it's the not the mullet per say that people notice the most, but the red dye. They regularly change hair color but at the moment they've had it a bright red for over almost a year and they haven't grown tired of it yet.
Canvas - Does your OC have any scars, piercings, tattoos, or other markings? Do they display or cover them up at all?
Madeleine
She has a scar on both sides of her left wrist (above and under) because she broke her arm as a kid and needed a cast, but when the doctors took it off, they cut her skin. She's also acquired quite a few scar since working with UB: the one on her neck that she got when Murphy bit her, and a few scattered all over her bodies from cuts and wounds that didn't heal properly. She has her ears pierced, but no other piercings. And she doesn't have any tattoos either. She's not one to hide her scars but she doesn't display them either. The scars are just there, sometimes they show from underneath her clothes, but she doesn't care.
Côme
They've got quite the bunch of scars from skateboarding. Most are on their legs, but they've also got a few on their elbows and arms. They've also got the ones from when they had their appendix removed as a teen. They've got a burn on their left hand from when they accidentally dropped a bit of acid on it during a lab class in uni. They also have the bite scar on thier neck from Murphy and the few unavoidable scars from working with UB. They've got their ears in multiple areas and they've also got a septum piercing. As for tattoos they also have quite a few. It's mostly tattoos that remind them of their comfort shows/characters (The pendant on Scoobs collar, Morph from treasure planet...). They also have a few science related ones (pluto, their favorite periodic element...). And more random ones that I have yet to define.
Informal - What's your OC's lazy-day look? How do they like to dress when they're winding down?
Madeleine
Maddie's wardrobe has a very cottagecore/little house on the prairie kind of vibe. Especially her lazy outfits. She adores those very flowy dresses and apron dresses and they're usually her go to outfits when she doesn't want to bother about dressing up. She'll also let her haird completely loose with no bow, or tie them in a little bun if she's planning on sewing or cooking that day.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5153f827b680afe01ad5067a90b10071/043c89f1e0d6b555-bf/s500x750/febad6b07c02c8b7c78c1dbf8a799bf1f4ec6e7a.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/784afc4dd83ba91709310ad6f030b4f7/043c89f1e0d6b555-ae/s540x810/b350bbbb047c8020de43e7252ad369ba92f03a86.jpg)
Côme
Côme's wardrobe mostly consists of colorful shorts and the first t-shirt/sweater they grab, usually one with a cartoon character on them. Which honestly doesn't change that much from their everyday clothes.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/bfc532d111272b6f12e44a8d0af6117d/043c89f1e0d6b555-4d/s540x810/5d767a881448e9ed23f4feeb139f7fe007c298f9.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3ae09ff81f5e482a8cd1f3630faeba21/043c89f1e0d6b555-61/s540x810/a06dbb4aa4f5dd058f14a798ccd574fcf05b9cee.jpg)
Character design asks
#can you tell that I'm not really good at describing people?#but thanks a lot for giving me the chance to ramble about these two#lux💓#oc: côme hawthorne#oc: madeleine kingston#twc detective#ask game#ali's headcanons
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coworker was going on and on about the importance of regulating your nervous system today and i'm thinking 1) you don't know what that means and 2) if i were a teenager and someone told me to regulate my nervous system i would start throwing things. frankly it's hard not to throw things when hearing that as an adult.
#and i'm being the bad guy saying no actually that's not something we can recommend without issue because that will be 'controversial'#there's also something so weird and bass ackwards about assuming that all children are in crisis right now#it's like saying they're all experiencing trauma. when that is not at all how trauma works#and i piped up and said yeah probably 50% of kids are doing fine right now re: politics and would be annoyed to be treated otherwise#like 'oh you must be so broken over this.' no. not really.#and that doesn't mean we have to bend over backwards to cater to those kids but you do have to keep them in mind#if i showed up crying at work the day after the 2016 election there would have been student and parent complaints#in 2021 my school attempted to adopt a policy requiring pre-approval to teach anything 'controversial'#with 'controversial' defined as anything two people could reasonably disagree on#so walking into a class of 30 kids and saying 'since we're all traumatized let's do some deep breathing to heal our nervous systems' is#not gonna fly. more teachers will come under scrutiny and will get in trouble. that's not something we should be telling them to do#oof sorry. multiple tangents there.#point being. even if learning to 'regulate your nervous system' was totally achievable it still wouldn't be universally accepted#and god forbid anyone have any kind of physical or psychological or emotional difference that affects their 'regulation' 🙃#it just feels like such a trap to say you can fix yourself by self-regulating. because if you fail then what?#oh god i just remembered the convo turning to 'evidence-based practices' and how she said that's bullshit and white supremacy#because you should have practice-based evidence instead...#try something and if it works then it works and it's valid is how she described that. ugh#listen I won't die on the evidence-based practices hill but so many people in my work orbit treat it like a dirty phrase#like it's just some annoying procedural hoop to jump through for no reason#you know you can hurt people by just doing random stuff to them right?!#fuck.#i am so tired. I don't want to talk about my feelings at work. I don't want to 'hold space' for 'difficult emotions'#and i'm getting tired of listening to coworkers dump their shit on me too#but can i say 'hey you are dysregulated and that is making me dysregulated'? nope. definitely not.#because the default assumption is everyone talks through all their feelings all the time. so if you're not then you're doing it wrong.#talking through my feelings is what i have a blog and a notes app and inanimate objects for#and i'm doing pretty well with all that. i just don't want to do it at work#I think i can be my 'authentic self' without blurting out whatever is in my brain at that particular moment regardless of appropriateness#okay. done ranting. sorry. if you read this far goddamn wow congrats. i love you <3 have a good day okay? <3
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Some builds I've been working on
#sel talks#described#minecraft#I lied; I'm not posting the link to the server#but you can still dm me if you want it ig#or ig u could reply to this post and I can dm u if u want#the snow is doing me no favors#also pointing at my custom player model#made that thang B)#the whiskers and tail are animated but u can't tell cause these sre just screenshots :/#really big fan of the glowing rocks#you only get a close up of the bridge cause I'm embarrassed about my building skills#also a lot of them are wips and not done yet#really glad you can see the little area I have set up for the town square#those yellow trees in the back is where my big ol church is going to go#the server tagline is 'realm of gods' which I am interpreting as the players become/are small deities#and it'd be kinda fun to make a place of worship for all the small gods :3#granted; I am the only active player so it's a bit quiet#there's a couple people in the discord but I've only seen one other person on the server#Amestrise#<- server name#I think it's really funny when I think I might have figured out what I'd want my title to be and it's homestuck#and then I go and make my flag a fucking green sun T^T#Oh! I want my focus to be light based cause I really like these crystals! Oh! My eyes are green so I want that to be a focus in my flag!#This green sun design makes a lot of sense!#it took me a good few hours before I realised u_u
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the suyeol lore is so crazy
#their relationship is so interesting to me like aoughhhh#like you see subaek and even tho they don't talk a lot on camera (most of the time) those two get along so well#they understand and respect each other so much they take their job very seriously and they're actually good friends as a result#suyeol on the other hand is 12 years of slowburn like it's crazyyyyy#you admire him and believe in him like no one else does and then you discover that he isn't that great actually#so you get disappointed and distance yourself and then you both are in this weird limbo for years as you grow up#and slowly but surely you rediscover how your relationship works because both of you are adults now and now we're here#like yeah suhito was stressed back then the context was not great for a leader AND tao was still with exo so lmao pcy could fend for himself#so i get ittttt they were going through it but. i need to know what he said to pcy like oh my god was it really that bad 😭#i wonder if they've ever mentioned it 🤔#writing this bc i just remembered that one time they had to describe e/o and suho was like#“you're my cute dongsaeng i admire your talents so much and oh btw you're not uncomfortable around me these days right? uwu”#LIKE ??? KING YOU CAN'T SAY THAT AND LEAVE US IN THE DARK#(<- they totally can it's not our business lmao)#idolization to tentative ''''enemies'''' to coworkers to friends to good friends is crazy#i need to look into this properly omg let's do some research#anyways i want a subunit :) they can be called exo sc too sehun won't mind bc these are like his favorite people in the world!!!#idk i find the exos and their bond so interesting because you truly have it all with them there's a whole spectrum of friendships#and i appreciate that it's not like with b*s & taegi (if you don't know who they are... let's keep it that way <3)#because those two were just too different to get along. it was extreme. but bighit forced it so much it was painful to see sometimes#and then the hawaii trip came and they painted it like a ''see? after this trip they get along so well now <3'' moment#1. girl let's be serious for a sec 😐 and 2. it's not our business!!!!! focus on making good music!!!!!#i'm so glad exo didn't have to go through something like that bc i just know that they'd have disbanded by now sjfsifjsk#the saranghaja sprite isn't that intense we lovr freedom of choice (keeping in mind that they were under sm) <33333#so YEAH. can you guys tell i can't sleep hehe :)#dara.t#suho and chanyeol
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What would you think, if, after getting advice from Iroh, Zuko and the gang travel to the spirit world in order to find Aang’s people so that Aang can teach the air acolytes more about the air nomads? But Zuko gets attacked by a poisonous spirit and reverts back to pre Season 2 Zuko after losing some of his memories due to the poison fogging his mind. Zuko is confused and doesn’t know why he’s firelord. The gang try to explain things to him, but it only causes him to become even more confused. Aang and the gang then leave Zuko behind to spend more time with the air acolytes. While they’re gone, Zuko is very uncertain about what to do, but soon corrupt advisors convince him to restart the war. Zuko doesn’t remember his friendship with Aang, but he hears that he once joined Aang, so Zuko assumes that Aang once brainwashed him into joining team Avatar and turning against his Father. Zuko intends to be a much greater firelord than his father, and he and his army raid the air acolyte settlement in their airships in order to hunt down Aang once again, and end up burning down the settlement. Aang and the gang wonder why Zuko chose to hunt them down again. Aang eventually comes to the conclusion that Zuko backslid due to bad advice from his advisors and because he lost some of his memories. Aang then travels the nations looking for a cure to help restore Zuko’s memories.
Azula escapes from the mental institute and Zuko sends bounty hunters after her to capture her. Soon, Azula gets bitten by a snake, so she finds help in the village of Jang Hui where she is healed by two waterbenders, who are taking refuge there. Jang Hui is the village Katara helped in The Painted Lady. And the villagers aren’t on good terms with the firelord. The villagers accept her and assume that she’s on their side because she’s made an enemy of the Firelord. The villagers teach Azula how to heal people using firebending techniques inspired by water bending, and she ends up becoming a fisherwoman because it’s a fishing town. She starts to warm up to the town, but one day she overhears the waterbenders talking about sneaking out to sabotage the smelting factory(which is currently undergoing reconstruction) in order to help the villagers. Azula offers to join their mission, and the three sneak out to destroy the factory, but she betrays the waterbenders over to the fire nation in hopes that she might bring glory to the fire nation. But now that the waterbenders are captured and eliminated, the town is defenseless. Zuko’s army burns the town down leaving few survivors. Zuko didn’t exactly authorize the attack, but he did give his generals permission to do whatever it takes to stop the villagers from trying to halt the rebuilding of the factory used for the war effort. A few survive and declare revenge on Azula for what she did.
Azula starts to feel terrible about betraying the people who saved her life and indirectly causing the village to be destroyed, since she didn’t know it would be destroyed. And she holds Zuko partially responsible for destroying the village. After wandering around, Azula looks through a telescope and sees Aang try to save a fire nation village from a volcano, and she also sees Zuko. Zuko does nothing after his corrupt advisors tell him to leave the village, saying that Aang will probably die, so Zuko runs away. But Aang manages to save the village from the erupting volcano. Azula gets accepted into the gang when she uses her new healing abilities to heal Aang, who is wounded by the volcano. They reluctantly team up to stop Zuko.
After wandering around the Earth Kingdom to look for a cure for Zuko's memory loss, the gang sees a massive stream of fire pour down from a few fire nation airships hovering above a village. The stream of fire burns the village to the ground, leaving few survivors. It turns out that fire nation scientists developed a highly addictive serum that can increase the fire power of any fire Bender. The downside is that prolonged use of the serum results in loss of the senses, and eventually death. Senses such as taste, smell, sight, touch, and hearing. Zuko intends take the serum and lead a fleet of airships to finish what his Dad started by burning the Earth Kingdom to the ground. After learning what Zuko intends to do, even Aang feels tempted to give up on him.
it's an interesting concept, but i have a few critiques.
first, if the gaang knows zuko lost his memory, why would they leave him in the first place? and even if they did that, surely there'd be somebody in the palace who could say "hey firelord zuko maybe don't restart the war dude wtf" or at least alert the gaang or something.
second, i've seen a lot of people try to have azula's redemption involve learning some kind of healing, and i gotta say, it very very rarely does anything for me. for starters, it (probably unintentionally) reinforces the northern water tribe's ideology that healing is inherently for women (the show admittedly also did this bc the only named male waterbender who uses any kind of healing in any canon that i'm aware of is unalaq). moreover, it's not something i think azula would be particularly good at or have much interest in.
also, why are there waterbenders in jang hui? it's a fire nation village. you said they were taking refuge, but from what, and why there? on top of that, azula knows zuko is firelord and doesn't know he's lost his memories, so why would she assume betraying the waterbenders to the fire nation would bring it glory? if she just broke out of the asylum, then the last time she saw zuko was when he and katara fought her during the agni kai.
third, if zuko lost his memory to a "poisonous" (???) spirit in the spirit world, why are they searching the earth kingdom for a cure? shouldn't they be looking in the spirit world? aang's the avatar, and iroh's gotten in before, so it shouldn't be the hardest thing in the world.
fourth, if zuko lost all his memories of books 2 and 3, he shouldn't know about ozai's plan to burn everything to the ground, since that wasn't established until after he returned to the fire nation with azula, mai, and ty lee.
finally, even before book 1 began, zuko was deeply loyal to his people, balking at the mere idea of sacrificing newbie soldiers for the sake of a win, so i can't fathom a world where zuko is ok with burning down jang hui (a fire nation village) just cuz.
i'm not trying to say there's no potential here, you have some very interesting ideas, but there's a lot that doesn't really work for me.
(to be fair tho i'm not a huge fan of anything involving much of the air acolytes bc i frankly could not give less of a fuck about them. i don't hate them or anything they just don't mean anything to me)
#atla#it's an interesting concept#but honestly as described here it's more confusing than anything else#also the whole premise relies on the idea that zuko blindly listens to what people tell him to do#which is something he's never once managed ever in his life#also the whole ''let's burn everything to the ground'' was something zuko wasn't remotely ok with#bc unlike azula he hasn't been raised to believe that the right thing to say is whatever makes dad proud of you#he HAS been raised to believe that paternal love has to be earned through blood sweat and tears#but if he knew ozai was in prison then obviously the best way to get his favor would be to let him out and reinstate him as firelord#which would be. very confusing to ozai#imagine just sitting in prison and then your son storms in and tells you he's freed himself of brainwashing and you can be in charge again#then imagine having to explain that the avatar can take away bending now but you'd be happy to help him rule from the shadows#since clearly your daughter wasn't of any use#...actually i think you have the start of a really good toxic father-son bonding experience that absolutely nobody wanted#having said that my biggest piece of advice is to cut the serum idea entirely#it makes no sense in the established atla world#they haven't even got antibiotics over there yet#it'll be awhile before they're inventing super soldier serums to create captain fire nation or whatever#also i'm curious what advice iroh gave that prompted all of this#aang doesn't need to go into the spirit world he has all the previous air avatars on psychic speed dial#oh and why would jang hui hate zuko?#katara definitely would've pushed him to send them help#also they apparently became famous for their seafood after the war#so zuko would probably be pretty well liked by them#again it isn't a bad idea it just needs a lot of workshopping#bc right now it raises way more questions than it seems intent on answering
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having a medical issue that dulls your ability to feel certain types of pain is only cool in fiction. in real life it just makes it extra hard to tell if you need to go to the doctor right now, or if you can just walk it off.
#messed up my foot and i can't tell if it's something serious or just a 'stay off it as much as you can for a few days' type of issue#like do i go in and risk paying a doctor to just tell me to ice it and chill out#or do i risk leaving it alone but woops! it was actually serious and now i have permanent damage from walking on it all this time#i've got like weird nerve damage/issues that honestly just has doctors going 'huh that's weird'#and it might explain some of my stupidly high pain tolerance (but only certain types)#but it makes it really frustrating once i need to make the 'do i go to the doctor about this?' decision#like some things that would have people shrieking in intense pain are just like 'hmm i feel...a weird tingling. some kind of pressure maybe#but this actually doesn't help me at all because the whole 'Ahhhhh!!!' pain reaction is to get you to STOP the thing#big old 'danger! danger! hit the brakes you are about to incur serious damage! turn back now!'#except my stupid nervous system is the good old 'nah i think it was just the wind' idiot who dies first in the horror movie#but sometimes i'm like 'oh yeah this is definitely weird i should go to the doctor'#and then the doctor is like 'yeah you just twisted your ankle you'll be fine'#so all this does is fuck up my ability to tell how injured i really am#and they don't even know how i got this or if it's genetic or the result of an old injury or whatever#they just ran a bunch of tests and like gauged my response to pain stimulus#and concluded that yeah it's weird but not gonna kill me so bye#it's not like doctors are jumping to make me feel more pain#i'm not aware of anybody going 'hey doc i would like to feel more pain. i feel like i'm not feeling enough of that stuff'#just not a thing u can ask. also at this point i don't really want to feel it?#like ppl describe the types of pain i can't feel right as really bad so uh no thanks
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"I don't think I could have the relationship with you that you have with me," she said. She was very casual about it, and I was immediately on the defensive.
"What do you mean by that?" I asked.
She put the book she'd been reading down. "It's just, the way you've described it, and the vibe that I get, I don't think I could do it how you do it."
"I still don't know what that means," I said.
"You're always doing this like ... micro calculation thing," she said. "You weigh your words. You try to time things. You have never once called me up while I was at work, or asked me for something when it was inconvenient for me, and you check and double check that you're not being a nuisance."
"And ... that's bad?" I asked.
"No, I love that about you," she said. "It's very kind and considerate. I know that if I tell you I'm not in the mood to hang out, you'll apologize and not push it. If you suggest that we get pizza and I say I'd rather have Korean BBQ, you fold instantly and we get Korean BBQ. I like that. I get the things I want. But it seems like an exhausting way to deal with people."
"I want you to be happy," I said with a small voice.
"I am happy," she replied. "You're great. You remember when we first got together I was like 'hey, look, if you want pizza, we can get pizza, it's just not what I'm in the mood for', and you kept insisting that you didn't care, that you would rather have me follow my needs? And I just thought, 'you know, maybe I should just trust that's what they actually feel'. And it is, as far as I can tell. There's not some secret part of you that wants me to break your way."
"You think I'm ... a simpering coward?" I asked. Even as I said it, it felt too accusatory, the wrong thing to say in the situation.
"Whoa, no, not at all," she laughed. "I think you do all that stuff because ... I don't know, you want to? Because otherwise why would you do it? It's how you are with every aspect of your life, you're a tryhard. I mean you said to me that you wanted to reclaim the term. Your relationship with me is that you're a tryhard (affectionate)."
"And you're ... not?" I asked.
"I'm not that way with anyone," she replied. "You know why I hang out with you so much? It's 'cause I like you. Most days, I am very much in the mood for you, and if you ask for a meetup, I'll say yes, and if you don't ask for one, then I'll ask you first. And for you ..."
"What?" I asked.
"It's like ... you're keeping track," she said. "You want to make sure that you're not sending me more messages than I'm sending you. You're balancing social micro stuff that I don't pay attention to. You're consciously monitoring how much each of us has said and making sure it's the right number of words or whatever."
"It's really not about the number of words," I replied. "It's more ... making sure that social and emotional labor is equitable, that there's a good rhythm to the conversation. I don't think you'd get good results by tracking word count."
"But see, I don't do any of that," she said. "I talk because I feel like talking. I listen when you need to vent because I like you and it feels good to give you an outlet. I mean you are undoubtedly putting in a bunch of work, and for me, there's no work. That's all I meant, really."
"You've thought about it," I said.
"Oh, I'm just reading this book, and there are two characters like us in it, and I was like 'yes, exactly', and then 'that would not work for me'." She shrugged.
"And if I stopped 'putting in the work'?" I asked. "Would we still be ... friends?"
"See, I don't know," she said. "Because that's never who you've been. You're asking me if I would still be friends with you if you changed your personality and how we interact with each other. Maybe? Probably? Who knows? Maybe we'd be better friends somehow. Maybe we're just two basically compatible people, and every time you've ever worried about anything it would actually have been completely fine."
"Or maybe it's load-bearing," I said.
"Maybe!" she replied with a smile that slowly faded. "You okay?"
"I'm thinking," I said. I didn't know if I could verbalize what I was thinking in a way that would be palatable.
"Do you not like being this way with me?" she asked. "Because I have never asked you to. I've made my preferences known, but if you've been bending yourself into knots and feeling a burden, then ..."
"No," I said, because I knew it was what she wanted to hear. "No, I like the way things are between us."
"Good," she smiled. "I do too."
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okay i might actually lose followers for this, but. uh. why is Iron Widow rated so high
#i'm about half way through & it just. isn't good#i really really wanted to like it. i did. but the writing is mediocre as best. the prose reads like an unedited fanfiction#it's not feminist. the characterization is just. all over the place. the author is CONSTANTLY telling when they should be showing#they spend paragraphs describing things that don't matter while leaving important things completely undescribed#this is 4 out of 5 stars?? dude...........#the thing is that i really want to enjoy it. i want to like this book. it's a neat concept & the author is cool#it's just so bad though. like from a writing standpoint it just is not good at all#i feel like i'm going insane. this is a book for people who don't read. that's what it feels like#it feels like something written by someone who hasn't read since middle school english class#i feel like i'm being too mean but also it's just true#not saying you can't like Iron Widow or books like it. people can enjoy a power fantasy. but that doesn't make the writing good#may write an actual review for this because my feelings on it keep growing & i'm not even half way through yet
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I have a complicated relationship with the concept of microlabels and more specifically aspec microlabels, because on one hand I have nothing against people who want to use a term that more closely describes their experiences it's literally none of my business good for them etc. but on the other hand I do think that sometimes people feel pushed to use microlabels because there are sooo many misconceptions about what asexuality and aromanticism actually are. so for example people who are just discovering their identity will try to connect with other aspecs, realize their experiences don't fully match every other aspec's experiences and get insecure, and that leads to interactions like "is it normal that I'm aromantic but I like shipping and romcoms?" "that actually means you're aegoromantic!" like it doesn't have to! it literally doesn't have to you don't have to identify as aego you can just call yourself aromantic! I feel like it would be way more productive to put effort into dispelling the idea that there's a 'proper' way to be asexual/aromantic instead of creating a microlabel for every experience that doesn't match common stereotypes.
and I'm gonna talk about asexuality specifically here because asexuality is still talked about so much more often (sorry to the aroallo warriors out there) but we've, and I can only assume this is a consequence of the stupid fucking ace discourse, internalized this weird idea that anyone who doesn't 100% fit into the category of 'never felt sexual attraction ever + no libido + sex-repulsed + never even THINKS about sex' either needs to use a microlabel or maybe even isn't really asexual. I've genuinely seen people ask "can I be asexual if I masturbate" "can I be asexual if I think this fictional character is hot" like YES? YES OBVIOUSLY? who is making you feel like you can't call yourself asexual point them out in the crowd for me tell me their name and their home address.
not to mention the fringe group of idiots (and I'll be real it's mostly weirdo terfs saying this shit) who are like "ohhh I feel bad for the REAL asexuals IF they even EXIST because these STRAIGHT people who don't put out on the first date are HIJACKING their community" which pisses me off so bad every time I see it. who the fuck are you to speak for me? keep your forked tongue behind your teeth etc etc.
like idk! people are totally allowed to call themselves aceflux and quoiromantic and fray and litho and whatever they want, but they should never feel like they have to! and it's become abundantly clear that some are being made to feel like they have to.
#posting this on the fr blog because like 80% of you are aspec I've seen your icons I've seen your pride dragons I know what you are.#asexual#aromantic#aroace#not fr
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