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meltwonu · 4 years

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11. “I didn’t know you were so sensitive.”

35. “Bite me.”

“If you insist.”

notes; panther-hybrid!minghao, bunny!reader, the slightest whisper of jealous!minghao, heat fuckin, breeding!kink, oral(fem receiving), dirty talk, mentions of breath play, spitplay! Also this is so random but ive noticed this trend where sometimes when im posting sth for the day, THAT member will also be posting on like twt or doing a vlive or sth and i know its like theres only so many members! And im like YEA but its funny to me bc its like theyre saying ‘hey u stop that sinful content rn and enjoy this wholesome one instead’ and im just like hahah nope 😈💕 all I do is sin babyyyyyy 🤣 anyway thank you for requesting! enjoy! 💕

“Fuck, this can’t b-be happening…! Ugh!”

You try redialing Chan’s number, only for it to go straight to his voicemail after only a few rings again. A soft cry spills from your lips as you pace around your living room; palms clammy around the small device.

Your heat had come early and your usual heat partner, Chan, seemed to be either ignoring your calls or way too busy to notice you’d already phoned him five times. “F-fuck, please…” You attempt to dial him one more time, biting your lip and rubbing your already slick thighs together as you listen to the phone ringing.

‘I’m sorry, the number you have dialed--’

“Damn it!”

Minghao lives in the apartment next to you.

The quiet panther hybrid kept to himself most of the time and the only real times you’d seen him, he’d briefly smiled at you in passing whenever you’d both be in the hallways or elevator. You didn’t really know much about him in all honesty, but in the moment, you didn’t really care.

You storm out of your apartment, nervousness wracking your body as you stop right in front of his door. Raising a hand to knock, you momentarily think about your options.

A. Go back to your apartment and hope Chan picks up eventually

B. Ask Minghao this one time for the biggest favour of your life.

“Fuck it.”

Before you can change your mind, you quickly knock on his door, yelling a small ‘it’s me!’ as if Minghao would know. The door opens after a few tense seconds; Minghao’s tall form coming into view when he opens it wide enough.

“Who--oh.”

A look of realization washes over him and he’s quick to smell you in the few moments that the two of you just seem to stare at each other. “What exactly are you doing in front of my door like this?” He drawls.

Minghao doesn’t really anticipate the effect it has on you, but you quietly whimper in return, thighs clamped tight and body shivering at the dominating aura that the panther hybrid already exudes.

“Please… I--my h-heat partner is--isn’t responding and I… Please b-breed me… I can’t--can’t wait any l-long and it--it h-hurts...”

Minghao raises an eyebrow as he leans against the door; sharp eyes fixating on your body that won’t stand still.

“Get inside, right now.”

Your fingertips tangle into Minghao’s hair as he eats you out; careful of his sleek yet fluffy black ears that protrude from his mess of hair.

Loud cries spill from you when he dips his tongue into your wet entrance before dragging it back up to your clit, teasing you as he takes his time.

“Fu--fuck, Minghao! More, more!”

“I didn’t know you were so sensitive.” He teases; lips easing into a smirk before he sucks your clit into his mouth. You let out a loud garbled moan as your entire body trembles with his touch. “I’m, ah, m-my heat…” You trail off, unsure of where you were even going with your sentence when Minghao flattens his tongue and drags it through your soaking folds. “Oh god, I--I can’t--!”

Before you can even stop yourself, you’re cumming on his tongue; fingers tightening in his messy locks and hips raising off of the bed as you grind against his flattened tongue. “Minghao, Minghao, Minghao!” The pleasure continues to wash over you even when he shakes your fingers loose from his hair and he sits up.

“You’re cute, y’know.” He smirks, lips coated in your wetness. “Just a cute ‘lil bunny getting her pussy eaten out in a panther’s bed. Aren’t you scared? I could eat you up right now, sweetheart.” His tone is teasing; eyes glimmering with mischief when your teary eyes meet his.

“Bite me. S-since, you’re so, ah, big ‘n b-bad…” You gulp as you watch him lean over you, suddenly feeling small underneath him.

“If you insist.”

Minghao has never really helped anyone through their heat.

But he’s surely heard you go through yours plenty of times.

“Oh--oh, Minghao! H--harder! Please, f-fuck me harder!” Your nails dig into his bed sheets, drool dripping from your lips as he fucks you from behind.

“Fuck, you’re so loud.” He chuckles, “Do you know how loud you are, bun? When you’re getting fucked.”

Your cheeks burn hot at his question, “H-huh…?” Minghao stops his thrusts for a second, grinding against you as you moan loudly in response. His chest meets your back as he leans over you; peppering gentle kisses along your shoulder blades before nipping at your skin. The small action has goosebumps rising on your skin almost immediately as you bite your lips to hold in your noises.

“The walls aren’t soundproof, y’know. I can hear all your cute ‘lil moans and cries whenever you’re going through your heat. I can hear how rough you like to take it and how you beg and beg and beg for more.” Minghao pauses, smirking against your skin when you clench around his cock. “The way I’m fucking you is nothing compared to how you really like it, right, bun? I hear the things you’ve said to that heat partner of yours. The walls are just so thin~” Gulping, you wait for him to continue, unable to deny the way you seem to get wetter and wetter the more he talks.

“You beg whoever it is to fill you up with cum, over and over, and all night too. And I hear the way you always tell them to be rougher with you, to choke you and spit in your cute ‘lil mouth, but do they ever give it to you?”

“N-no…”

Minghao grins, kissing your skin one last time before he straightens his back and starts fucking you at a much quicker pace. He wraps his fingers around your small fluffy tail at the small of your back, tugging on it lightly as you cry out his name. “That’s right, bun~ You just need someone like me who’ll put you in your place, right? Like the good ‘lil bunny you are.”

Garbled noises spill from your lips as he talks and you can already feel yourself on the brink of another orgasm once he starts to angle his thrusts to hit your g-spot. “Ngh, M--Minghao, fuck, ah, r-right there! More, p-please!” You move your hips in tandem with his; frenzied movements letting the panther hybrid that you were close to cumming again.

“Your cute ‘lil cunt is so fuckin’ tight and warm around my cock. Fuck, I could get used to you, bun. You should come see me more often~” Minghao licks his lips as his fingers continue to play with your tail; eyes trained on the way your body shivers underneath him. “You’re scared of me but you want me to fuck you all day, don’t you? Breed your hot ‘lil pussy until you’re full of my cum. But even then you’d still be begging me for more.”

He lets go of your tail, instead reaching around your body until his fingertips are on your clit.

“Cum for me bun, let me feel how tight you get around my cock.”

A high pitched whine is all you can manage when you cum on his command; eyes clamped shut as the pleasure washes over you. You let out a choked sob in the midst of your high, already itching to get to another orgasm.

Minghao opts to grind against you as you ride out your pleasure and he can’t help but grin at the way you keep trying to fuck yourself on his cock.

Your stuttered breaths and whines are the only noise in the room when Minghao draws his hips back; eyes fixated on his cock that’s covered in your wetness when he pulls out. He gently maneuvers you onto your back as you groan.

“Don’t tell me you’re tired already, bun? I still haven’t bred your cute ‘lil cunt. Don’t you want me to fill you up with cum? Get you nice ‘n full like you want?”

Your bleary eyes blink up at him, shaky fingertips reaching down to your soaking folds. Licking your lips, you spread yourself for him, letting him see how much wetter you were getting with each passing second. He raises a brow at you, noting the lust that pools in your eyes.

“Hurry and b-breed me then, M--Minghao… I wanna, ah, feel you c-cumming too..”

The panther hybrid grins; eyes twinkling with playfulness as he positions himself at your entrance.

“Don’t mind if I do, bun~”

#minghao smut #the8 smut #svt smut #seventeen smut #hybrid!svt #hybrid!seventeen #hybrid!the8 #the8 scenarios #the8 imagines #minghao imagines #minghao scenarios #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #svt scenarios #minghao #the8 #🍚 anon

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thewhizzyhead · 3 years

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a non-filipino's guide to trese: ep 1

So some of my mutuals decided to check out Trese aka the Netflix adaptation of the Filipino horror comic book series that I keep rambling about here and then since well um most of my mutuals aren’t from the Philippines fshfs I decided to make a long-ass post that basically consists of me rambling about the cultural context present in Trese with fun little tidbits about Filipino folklore. I’m not an expert on Filipino mythology so um I just typed out the stuff that I know and the stuff that I looked up on Wikipedia so um take this with a grain of salt aaaaa I’ll save the extensive google scholar research ramble on folklore present in Trese for another day.

I’ll try to find the sites where I got some of the information from cause um yea I kinda had a bit of a hard time finding the other shit so um once again, take the stuff here with a grain of salt. Also, feel free to add more info if you guys got any!

SO ANYWAYS ENJOY ME RAMBLING ABOUT EPISODE 1 OF TRESE WOO

+ MRT and LRT (Manila Metro Rail Transit and Light Rail Transit) are train systems in NCR (the capital region) and yea them suddenly stopping and malfunctioning in the middle of the goddamn rail is a daily occurrence and we have been trying to deal with this bullshit for years but alas, corruption and negligence are sweet sweet drugs.

+ When the MRT broke down, you'd see a red bee in the flashing billboard right? Well that's Jollibee and that's probably the most well-known fast food restaurant chain here heck there are even branches of it abroad!

+ According to many youtube comments along with other social media posts that I am way too tired to link here, the opening theme is an Ifugao ethnic song called Balluha'd Bayyauhen but with modern accompaniments and I think the song is about a fruit called a balluha that the character in the song tries to it but cannot swallow. (someone please correct me if I’m wrong here fjkfs)

+ The first um monster that we see Alexandra interact with is the White Lady of Balete Drive. White Ladies or “Kaperosa” are a type of female ghosts typically dressed in ghostly white dresses or similar garments. According to legend, she died in a car accident while driving along Balete Drive (a two lane street formerly lined with Balete Trees which are said to be a home for spirits and mysterious creatures) in Quezon City while other accounts say she died waiting for the arrival of her lover; others also say that she was a teenage girl who was run over and killed by a taxi driver at night and then buried around a Balete tree while another variation of the tale claims that a student from the University of the Philippines was sexually assaulted and killed by a taxi driver nearby and so said ghost haunts the street in search of her murderer. There are many other variations but according to local rumor, the legend was fabricated by a reporter in 1953 in order to make an interesting story. What remains consistent in many variations is that apparently taxi drivers would be stopped by a beautiful lady asking for a ride and if one would look at the rear window, they would see that the white lady in question is bruised and drenched in blood.

+ There are a lot of mentions about "lakans" and stuff in reference to Alex and her father right? In precolonial times, the term is used to refer to the paramount ruler or the highest-ranking political authorities in Tagalog communities (so um NCR and some parts of Region 4). In Muslim communities, they are called sultans while communities with strong trade connecitons with Indonesia or Malaysia called them Rajah. Datu is umm the more generalized term though when it comes to discussing the leaders of the precolonial Filipinos.

+ So, Alex’s mom is a babaylan and back in the pre-colonial period, each barangay (which a native filipino term for a village or a district; said term is still used today to describe um divisions in municipalities like) had them and these are basically Philippine shamans and they specialized in communicating with the spirits of the dead. To my knowledge, the role of babaylan went to women and yea people assigned male at birth but then identified as female were also allowed to become babaylans and they would be treated with the same respect given to any woman back then (honestly I dunno much about lgbtq+ stuff back in the precolonial times but all I know is that precolonial Filipinos were much a lot more welcoming towards trans identities bUT THEN THE SPANIARDS CAME AND UM ERR RUINED THAT); also the writing Alexandra's mom did in that one scene with the dagger is in Baybayin - preHispanic Filipino script. I dunno what she wrote down though. .

+ Also I kinda find it funny that the people here esp those who were at the White Lady scene are um,,, not at all surprised? Like yea quite a number of filipinos have their own superstitions and beliefs and all that but um yea the people in Trese seem very used to the bullshit,,,which in retrospect, isn't at all inaccurate fsdfd I MEAN WE DEAL WITH UNSURMOUNTABLE AMOUNTS OF BS ON A DAILY BASIS SO I DON’T THINK DEAD GHOSTS WOULD EVEN FAZE MANY FSKJDS

+ The one that appears right before Alexandra talks with the duwende (the one in the manhole) is called Laman Lupa (which i guess translates to um "What is in the earth"? just um YEA THEY ARE DIRT CREATURES). normally this is an umbrella term for duwendes and nunos but in Trese they are servants of these aforementioned creatures.

+ Duwende (which came from the Spanish phrase "dueno de case" which means "owner of the house") or dwarves in Filipino folklore are known to be mischievous and magical environmental guardians. They are believed to reside in trees or under earth mounds (those that live in the latter are called nuno sa pundo or old man of the mount) which is why quite a lot of Filipinos say "tabi tabi po" or “excuse me” when wandering around a forest or earth mounds as a sign of respect and in the hopes the duwende won't torment them. If the person is friendly, the duwende can also be friendly in return and will bring that person good lucl; otherwise, those who destroy their homes by stepping on them will face their wrath in form of heartless curse and predictions of ominous and disastrous fates. A duwende's color also depends on their budhi or conscience: to my knowledge, white duwendes are kind, red ones give protection amulets, green ones are firnedly with children and the black ones give nothing but trouble.

+ Chocnut aka the snack Alex bribes the nuno with is a very yummy chocolate snack made of coconut milk, crushed peanuts and cocoa powder. They are umm about an inch in length and maybe half an inch in width so it's fairly small; that being said I WANT THE CHOCNUT THAT ALEXANDRA HAS CAUSE HOT DAMN THAT'S A BIG CHOCNUT

+ In Trese, the creatures in the MRT scene and in the warehouse Alexandra visits after she talks with the duwende are called "aswang". In Philippine folklore, it is an umbrella term for any kind of monster so um an aswang in Luzon would be very different from the aswang in Mindanao. According to what I saw on wikipedia, they can be classified in 5 categories: the vampire (self-explanatory um they drink blood), the viscera sucker (the manananggal, i'll get to that next time), the weredog (cats and pigs are also possible but um yea they target pregnant women), the witch (self-explanatory boom curses and stuff) and the ghoul (they gather near trees in cemeteries to feast on human corpses). Aswangs are often described to have a long, hollow tongue, sharp claws and sharp teeth, although they do also have human forms.

+ To my knowledge, Ibwa, the leader of the aswangs in the warehouse, is a creature from Tinguian or Itneg mythology (they, like the Ifugao, are an indigenous ethnic group in northwestern Luzon) though I could be wrong about this dksfsf Ibwa seems like an ethnic filipino term tho wah I can't remember where I once read that. But anyways, Ibwa often stalk sthe house of a dying person to steal its body. In order for the ibwa to NOT succeed in that, some people burn holes in the garments of the dead and put a sharp iron object on top of the grave since those are most powerful weapons against aswangs which is what Alexandra uses to subdue the Ibwa and kill all the other aswangs (the knife alex uses is named Sinag which means "ray of light".)

+ ALSO I AM SO SO GLAD THEY KEPT THE FILIPINO SWEARS IN THE ENGLISH DUB YES YES THIS IS A VERY GOOD JOB so lemme discuss the versatility of tangina-

+ Also umm Bossing is a nickname of Vic Sotto - one of the three pioneer hosts of Eat Bulaga! which is the longest running Philippine noontime variety show. Over time, most probably due to the show's popularity, the term "bossing" then became um slang for "boss" or "chief"

+ Translation of what Alex says when she's stirring the eye inside the cup: “In the eyes of others, secrets will reveal themselves.”

+ Sidenote: The English dub's pronunciation of many of the tagalog lines are um yea they r pretty good but they could use a bit of work but then again I'm really not that good in speaking in Tagalog so who am I to judge gkdkf sorry po guys conyo po ako-

+ Maria Makiling is arguably the most famous of all the diwatas (ancestral spirits, nature spirits, or deities) in Philippine Mythology; she is associated with Mount Makiling in Laguna as the guardian spirit of the mountain. Mount Makiling is said to resemble a profile of a woman and people associate the profile with Maria herself. She is also known as a goddess by the name of Dayang Masalanta and people would pray to her for safety and to stop storms and earthquakes. That's the goddess Alexandra's mother mentions right when she tells Alex to hide. (Translation to what she said there: Maria Makiling, goddess of the mountain, bless us.)

+ ALSO YEA THAT MAYOR IN THE MRT STATION IS UMMM RATHER REMINISCENT OF MAAAANY POLITICIANS AND PUBLIC SERVANTS HERE LIKE BELIEVE ME I CAN THINK OF SO MANY NAMES RN. THEY WOULD FLAUNT THEIR MACHISMO AND PROMISE THAT THEY THEMSELVES SHALL PUNISH THE PERPETRATORS HARSHLY BUT IN THE END THEY DONT MEAN SHIT AND ARE IN OFFICE TO SERVE ONLY THEMSELVES AND TO SHIT ON THE REST ESP THOSE OF THE POORER SECTORS AND *NOTHING IS DONE ABOUT IT*. WE LIVE IN HELL OKAY. also hmm how the police are represented here is umm,,,interesting,,, like i know there are sOME good police officers like the ones alexandra assists but like,,,our current sociopolitical climate + the many cases showcasing the corruption in the police force + tHE SHEER AMOUNT OF POLICE BRUTALITY HERE would ummm beg to differ. but um anyways-

+ Also Mang Inasal posters can be seen in the MRT station backdrops and um it’s a very famous restaurant chain here and they serve lots of barbecue and other filipino stuffs and i miss them a lot God their halo halo is very yummy

+ Santelmo - oki so this is the fire face thingy that Alexandra summons inside the ruined train. This is the shortened version of the term "Apoy ni Santa Elmo" or "St. Elmo's Fire" - this is a weather phenomenon wherein plasma is created from an electrical discharge from a rod like object in an atmospheric electric field. This phenomenon was used to warn of imminent lightning strikes or storms (there is a chapter in Noli Me Tangere where Pilosopo Tasyo talks about that bUT I'LL SAVE THE NOLI ME TANGERE RAMBLES FOR ANOTHER DAY). But according to Philippine folklore, santelmos - which are said to be souls of people lost as sea - are balls of fire that appear where accidents or big arguments happen. In Trese, santelmos (alex's santelmo being "The Great Spirit of the Binondo Fire") can be called to assist in supernatural investigations

+ Translation of what Alex says when she draws the circles to meet with the purple ghosts: "Souls, where are you off to? I'll be entering too, so please open the door."

+ Remember the scene at the train with all the purple ghosts and the woman in a veil? Yea the woman is an emissary of a goddess named Ibu and she is the Manobo (again, another indigenous ethnic group but this time they're from Mindanao; fun fact we have around 134 ethnic groups) goddess of deceased mortals and the queen of the underworld; she also serves as a psychopomp and guides the newly deceased souls to the other side (having an MRT be the ride to the underworld isn’t in the legends tho so fkkjsf)

+ The aswang in the top hat is called Xa Mul and according to the Isneg/Apayao people (yay another ethnic group but this time in northern Luzon - the Cordillera regions to be specific), they are an evil spirit known to swallow people whole.

+ Alex has two henchmen right? Yea they are named Crispin and Basillio and No I still don’t know who’s who and I'm really sorry about that fsfjs so anyways the names Crispin and Basillio are actually those of two brothers featured in the Noli Me Tangere and El Filibusterismo novels (Crispin is younger and Basilio is older) which are basically the national novels here cause um yea written by national hero Jose Rizal as sociopolitical commentary about the Spanish regime here. I don't know if I want to spoil this cause I kinda want other people to read the novel too fskfs BUT ALL IN ALL, ONE OF THEM DIES IN LIKE THE 10TH OR 11TH CHAPTER OF NOLI ME TANGERE (and the novel has 64 chapters btw) AND UM YEA-

+ OKI SO TO ADD MORE CONTEXT TO THE SQUATTER STUFFS MENTIONED IN TRESE (we r gonna use the tiny font here because holy shit this rant is long): So,in the Philippines, especially in the capital region, there are lots of slum areas called squatters. These are dense urban settlements made of compact makeshift housing units that aren't really officially recognized by the government. This is um very reflective of the poverty situation here and there are maaany factors that come into play here and if i were to go into depth about this topic, that rant would probably turn into an academic paper so for the sake of brevity, let's just say that Things Are Fucked Up Here. Oftentimes the poorer sectors are being ignored and left to their own devices despite tons of campaign promises to make things better and easier for them. The communities that live here are incredibly vulnerable to floods, fires, and the like and afaik no concrete solutions have been in effect to protect these people and their settlements. There have also been many times where squatter areas are dismantled or demolished despite protests of people living in those areas and yea I understand the need to make space and the need for renovation but the people should still be offered some sort of temporary settlement or financial compensation thingy that doESN'T fuck them over but alas, we have an anti-poor government. That being said, I really like Trese Ep 1's portrayal of governmental negligence, but I also have some thoughts, especially in regards to the mayor being arrested THAT FAST which um believe me, NEVER FUCKING HAPPENS BECAUSE MANY MAYORS AND A LOT OF POLITICIANS HAVE THE POLICE IN THEIR POCKETS SO UM ERR YEA JUSTICE IS RARELY A THING HERE BUT UM ANYWAYS YEA THE GOVERNMENT LIKES TO SHIT ON THE POOR WOO LET'S SAVE THE USE OF SOCIOLOGICAL LENS ON THIS MATTER FOR ANOTHER DAY

+ The news channel reporting the arrest of the mayor is ABC-ZNN WHICH IS AN OBVIOUS REFERENCE TO ABSCBN aka the top media conglomerate here (that has been fucked over by the government so many times to the point that they had to shut down operations last year which is all sorts of unfair so seeing them being referenced here kinda made me happy gksfks)

#HI PATROC I HAVE A GIFT #IT'S A VERY LONG AND CONVOLUTED GIFT #BUT IT'S A GIFT #I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK IN TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THIS #this is literally 2813 words long AND IT TOOK ME 12 HOURS TO TYPE THIS OUT OH GOD #AND THIS IS JUST EP 1 #here's to hoping the following eps are gonna be much easier for me to like ramble about considering that i explained quite a lot here gfsfs #please do take this ramble with a grain of salt tho cause obviously I am not a mythology expert so um feel free to add more info!#i'd really love to see more info about trese so yay!#trese #trese netflix #alexandra trese #trese spoilers #ask to tag

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spvce-cowboy · 4 years

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two suns

ch. 6 of i’ll be here in the morning (the mandalorian x f!reader)

previous- ch. 5: “the hero’s shoulders”

next-ch. 7: “an old friend”

rating: explicit

6.1k words

warnings: smut, unprotected piv sex (seriously don’t do that), riding, oral f-receiving, communication?! we don’t know her, disturbing imagery, i think that’s it but pls lmk if i missed something

a/n: nothin’ for rn ! enjoy <33

It’s too much of a risk to allow himself to sink fully into the comfort of the moment, so he dozes while you sleep. Though it’s selfish, he’d rather have this restless night than allow you to return to your own bed.

He just doesn’t know what would be there if he allows his eyes to fully shut, what kind of images he’d be forced to face, and the last thing he wants to do is wake you.

There’s a small, foolish part of him that thinks if he concentrates too hard on the feeling of your body against his like this, something very bad would happen. As if all of this would literally disappear if he were too present, if he thought too hard about you.

He even has this strange image in his head of you evaporating, as if you were a mirage that would vanish as soon as he finally reached it. He has an image in his head of the way the sheets would billow around the emptiness of where your body once was, then quickly crumple in on itself in its fall back against the mattress. It would be a soundless departure, leaving nothing but the ghostly feeling of where your body used to lay by his side.

He thinks that anxiety started when you first said his name. You spoke so softly, Din.

At first it was just a repetition of what he had already said. It sounded like you were just rehearsing a word in a foreign language to yourself, like he’d seen you do while studying those little dictionaries you keep buying. It’s been so long since he’s thought of himself as anything but Mandalorian that he was hardly able to process the word himself.

Din. Cautious at first, testing out the sound. The weight of it heavy against your tongue. Then you gained confidence, as he’d seen you do so many times before. And it was his name you were saying. From your tongue, from those precious lips.

The feeling it gave him, hearing it like that, was a feeling he’d spent most of his life training against. He thought he got lucky, when he’d surpassed those turbulent years of his youth without having to fully engage with the tricky emotions most threatening to his oath.

There were always stories of fallen foundlings who sought the affections of another outside of the Creed. Whispered rumors about bunks found empty in the morning, wordlessly exiled friends never seen again. Hormonal imbalances confused for some mythical conception of companionship, their instructors told them. Natural, but easily fought against. That feeling would pass soon enough.

And he believed them. Of course he did. So when he reached those years, he quickly drowned himself in enough violence and meaningless sex to avoid the threat of succumbing to foolish desires. Bodies were bodies. A notch in your belt or your bedpost, didn’t matter either way.

He thought he was safe from the worst of it, he really did.

But you said his name as if it were a word for hearth. For home. And it made him want to unravel that shoddy piece of fabric from around your eyes and guide your hands to his face. It made him ache for some other world where it could just be this, you and him wrapped up in each other with the kid peacefully sleeping just a few paces away. That alone would be more than enough.

So Din doesn’t sleep. He dozes. And when he knows Karga’s men will be awake and able to unload the quarries from the carbonite chambers, he disentangles himself from you as gently as he can. You give a small whine but resettle regardless. He pulls the blanket up over your bare shoulders. Maybe he takes a moment to stroke your cheekbone, in dazed fascination, with the back of his knuckles. Maybe.

He dresses, body tired in a way he can’t exactly place. It didn’t come from physical exhaustion, he knows that. Something else. Something he doesn’t want to deal with in the moment.

The fresher’s cold blast of water is the only thing that begins to shake him from his mood. The unpleasant feeling is grounding—it reminds him of the skin he lives in, what it has endured, what it is still able to withstand in spite of everything else. All of it.

He downs a cup of caf before heading out to meet Karga. The cantina is sparsely populated, mostly leftovers from the night before, slumped in their respective booths.

The bartender is reading something on a datapad. She glances at Din before looking down at the screen in her hands and typing something. Din leans against the countertop, supporting himself on his forearms as he waits.

It only takes a few moments. He doesn’t have to turn to know it’s Karga approaching, the frustrated pace of his footsteps identifiable enough. The man seats himself on the barstool to the right of where Din stands.

“Mando,” there’s a smile to the man’s booming voice that doesn’t reflect in his eyes. “Quite the performance you made back there.”

Under the helm, Din runs his tongue over his teeth. He doesn’t respond, just waits.

“I have some… news. I’m not sure if it’s good or bad, but certainly interesting,” he motions to the bartender. Din’s eyes flick from her, back to Karga.

“A bit early for that, isn’t it?” It feels strange to speak through the vocoder again. He tries to push the feeling away.

Karga crinkles his nose, waving Din away and grabbing the cup of spotchka as soon as the woman places it in front of him.

“The Guild is… grateful for how quickly you managed to capture Tyreus Cavill, but there’s been ah—” he clears his throat. “A bit of a hiccup. Nothing you have to worry about. But it does mean that you’ll have plenty of time to find the kid’s people without having to worry about chasing more quarries.”

“What.” Din says it sharply enough that the eavesdropping bartender flinches, nearly dropping the glass she’s drying in her hand.

“Cavill senior is having a bit of a hard time understanding our position as a Guild. He’s of the ‘blood for blood’ variety and he… well,” Karga shakes his head. “We’re working on it. He hasn’t demanded specifics yet but it’s best if you lose his men’s trail, earlier the better. You’ll be fine as long as you don’t stay sedentary. It should be no different, really, than if you were tracing fobs. And you’ll get to find the kid’s people! It’s a good deal, if you think about it.”

Karga’s weak attempts to reassure prove infinitely more irritating. Din closes his eyes briefly to re-center himself. An attempt at a calming breath proves futile.

“There’s a contact, Gor Koresh,” Karga continues. “He might have information about where your people are. Already sent his last known locations to your datapad. I’d say going to Coruscant first will be your best bet, someone might be able to point you in a better direction from there.” Karga downs the last of the spotchka effortlessly. “He’s a bit of a slippery one so I’d suggest you get a move on.”

Din gives a curt nod, pushing off the bar and straightening as Karga speaks.

“My men will follow you back to the Crest to unload. Tell that girl of yours I send my best--and Mando,” he slides on his forearms, ducking his head to look straight into Din’s visor. “For the kid’s sake, don’t stop moving.”

Din rips away from Karga before he starts something he didn’t have the energy to finish.

The kid is waiting for him at the door of the Crest when he returns with Karga’s men. Din wordlessly scoops him up in one arm. Something within him quiets when he feels a small, three-fingered hand wrap around his thumb. The gentle pressure against his glove is calming.

There’s the distinct sound of the shower running when he accompanies Karga’s men to the carbonite chambers. They finish the job, he gets his credits.

Once they’re gone, Din checks his bunk to find it, expectedly, empty.

Nevarro is a familiar planet for you, and it’s not like you’ve ever informed him of your outings. Still, he wishes you would have left him a note or called out to him as you left, just to prevent the brief surge of panic in his gut. He knows you’ve probably just gone out to run errands.

He knows this. But still.

The kid chirps from where Din holds him in the crook of his arm, stretching his little hands towards the swaths of blankets.

“No naps yet, bud,” Din places the kid on the floor in order to gather your things. There’s the small patter of feet toddling behind him, as well as the occasional tug on his pant-leg, as he moves about the tight space.

If he were brave enough, he’d acknowledge the tumbling litany of fearful thoughts roaring at the back of his mind. If others know what brings you peace, that peace will be ripped away from you before you can even blink. Learn to find solace in this. Gentleness is not something to be worshipped, to succumb to. Soft heart. Soft heart. Soft heart.

He isn’t brave enough. So he doesn’t dare recognize any part of it.

Keeping in motion helps him not to think too much. He steps back into the hull, the blanket and pillows tucked under his arm. He leaves them on your empty bed. Quickly scaling the ladder into the cockpit, he checks the information Karga sent him. He keeps the kid occupied by bouncing him on his beskar-clad thigh as he does. It works surprisingly well.

Din confirms the coordinates and his landing location after scanning the airwaves for any sign of Cavill’s men. The three of you are in the clear for now, but that’s not likely to last much longer.

Heaving a sigh, Din puts the child in his pram and sets out to find you.

The morning sun is high enough that the city is sweltering by the time he reaches the market. There’s a faint breeze that only achieves to move the heat around, the streets remain sparsely populated because of it.

That fact makes it far easier to spot you, conversing with two Devaronian smugglers, taking shelter from the pounding sunlight under the red awning of a disinterested vendor. You’re carrying a bag heavy with supplies on one shoulder, which you occasionally adjust as you try to speak with the men.

You’re using your hands to talk in a way that tells him that the language barrier is more of an issue than you initially anticipated it to be. Din is already bristling with the way one of them looms over you. The sneering expression the smuggler gives his companion while you aren’t looking sends a wave of anger pulsing through him out of pure instinct alone.

Din is by your side right as the Devaronian begins to say something. The hulking smuggler closes his mouth immediately, but his expression remains incredulous, eyes narrowed at Din from where he stands behind you.

You turn your head as soon as the Devaronian shifts his gaze, a stiffness in your shoulders relaxing slightly when you see yourself reflected in that all too familiar T-visor. Your expression remains tight, pissed off even.

“I’ll take it now, please,” your break into Basic is jarring. You’ve shifted your gaze back to the smugglers. The one who was eyeing you previously turns to the vendor, speaking to the frail woman in his native tongue. Din can only make out a few phrases himself, but it seems like you were bartering over some kind of technology.

Din’s hand hovers over the blaster at his hip as the woman reaches under the table, arm dropping back at his side when she places a small piece of Republic tech into your open hand.

It looks like a new comlink. You quickly stuff it into your bag and hand your credits over to the vendor.

“Forgot mine at Febhana’s,” you mumble to yourself or Din, he isn’t exactly sure. He grunts as you turn heel, pointedly refusing eye contact as you scoop the child from the pram. You rest him against your hip as you walk away. Din follows suit, keeping a few paces behind you.

“G’morning stinky,” you rub your nose against the kid’s in greeting. He coos happily, reaching up to tug on your hair—a motion you expertly dodge.

If it weren’t for the Devaronians boring holes into his back, Din would warm at the sight. With the threat of their witness, the image of you and the kid in front of him only serves to wind his anxiety tighter. His words are harsh because of it.

“I thought I made it clear to you that we have to lay low,” he grits out once you’ve put enough distance between the three of you and the marketplace.

“Don’t.” Your voice goes sharp in a way that’s genuinely shocking. You keep your back to him, pace quick and even. “I had that under control.”

“I never thought you didn’t,” he clarifies after a second. Din swallows, his body tense. He doesn’t know how to express how worried he is in public like this. Cavill has infinite men and infinite supplies to hunt you down? Too alarmist, he already wasn’t on your good side. To deliver the news now would just rub salt in the wound. If I could, I’d bear the weight of the sky itself to keep you safe. The truth, but he’d already confused you—and himself—enough in trying to express how he feels for you. To try and elaborate any further would just be cruel.

So he settles for silence as the three of you continue the walk.

You give a sigh after a moment, stopping in the middle of the street and turning to face Din, dropping the bag of supplies at your feet as you do. The kid’s ears droop from where you hold him against your hip, sensing the unspoken tension coursing between his caretakers.

“I don’t want to be mad at you anymore,” your eyes are big, brave in their vulnerability. You’re chewing on the inside of your cheek, thinking for a second before your next words leave you in a rush. “What you said last night really hurt me. I’m not gonna pretend I understand all of it, because I don’t. But I.... I know you’re only trying to do what’s best.” The breath you take is quick, sharp. Your shoulders pull back, setting your posture with courage that doesn’t exactly reach your eyes. “I hope you can understand why I lashed out before I took the time to think it through.”

“I do,” Din resists the urge to flex his hands into fists at his side. He wants to reach out to you, to touch your arm or shoulder or cheek in reassurance. But there are the Devaronians to his back. City streets filled with watchful eyes. Soft heart. It’s a risk neither of you can afford to take.

You nod, lips pressed together. “Friends?”

Din ducks his head in agreement, shouldering your bag for you. “Friends.”

The smile you give is still a bit tight, but genuine in the relief it communicates. “Cool.”

The two of you walk side by side the rest of the way back to the Crest. The silence is easier this time.

It takes another day in hyperspace to reach Coruscant. He spends most of it in the cockpit, tracing signals and rewiring faulty panels, but he keeps the doors open. He’d like the convince himself it was just so he could hear your radio, which you have playing all day, but that’s just an added bonus.

There’s something calming about the noise you and the kid make as you go about your daily tasks. He likes the frustrated huffs you give when you try and fail to get the kid to work through the drills you’ve made for him, or how you turn the radio up when there’s a song you’re particularly enjoying. The child’s constant chattering serves as a reassuring white-noise.

The warmth of it all is enough to transform the general air of the ship in a way you’ve managed to do for months at this point. He doesn’t know why it’s taken him this long to acknowledge that. He allows himself to sink into the comfort it gives him, even if it takes several barriers of steel between him and you to do so.

It is late afternoon on Coruscant by the time he lands the ship in a remote hangar.

Din pushes away from the console and stands. He immediately has to catch himself on the headrest of the pilot’s seat, vision blackening at the edges for a moment before returning to normal.

Furrowing his brow in confusion, he quickly checks his vitals. The graphic flickers to life on his display screen. All normal, so--

Din heaves a sigh. He hasn’t slept for maybe… four days straight? That sounded about right. Since the Crest landed on Canto at least.

He rests his elbow against the pilot’s seat, briefly lifting his helm to his forehead in order to rub his face with his gloved hand in a weak attempt to rouse himself. It doesn’t work.

The informant most likely to know anything about Koresh’s whereabouts was at a law office of some sort, their schedule regimented enough that he could get away with finding them in a few hours’ time. It would be best to catch them right as they were coming into the office anyway, early morning hours usually means less people around. Waiting until morning would be ideal, really.

It’s a long-winded way of justifying a nap.

Din carefully climbs the ladder back down into the hull. You’re in the process of reading something to the child, who sits in your lap as he gnaws on a fruit leather. You glance up as Din passes, giving him a small smile in greeting. He nods in response, then makes his way to his bunk. A familiar, guarded, exchange. Back to basics.

Din allows himself the comfort of stripping down to his under-armor but keeps the helm on, settling onto the bunk with a grunt. The blue darkness is quick to agitate, the day’s frustrations and unsettled tensions quickly tumble into the memory of how this same faint light hit your bare body as you twisted around him. The press of your breasts against his chest. The hiccuping breaths you took when you were about to--

He sharply turns on his side, as if physical movement could push the thought away.

It takes a while for his brain to settle, so tired it’s nearly impossible to rest. He lays as still as possible, counting every inhale and holding before releasing the breath. It nearly works. He’s still so jittery he can’t keep his eyes shut for too long without it feeling as though he were being dropped from an unknown but impossible height.

Sighing, Din sits back up and slides the door of his quarters back open. He isn’t sure how long it has been since he first lay down, but all the lights in the hull have been turned off. The only source of light is the soft glow of a lantern just around the corner of the stacked crates that block off the alcove you’d fashioned.

You’re singing a lullaby. He can only guess by the small sounds of sleepy babbling that you still have the kid with you.

Din can tell it’s something in your native tongue by the foreign, lilting quality of it. Nothing like the siren’s song he knows you’re capable of—it’s far too soft for it to be anything like what he heard you sing to the mountains--but it has a similar circling quality about it that he’s only ever heard from your lips.

It takes the breath out of him. Din sinks to the floor, resting his back against the wall and drawing his knees up to rest his elbows on their caps. He allows his head to droop forward, just for a moment. Just to listen a little longer, to grab onto these moments and store them somewhere quiet and hidden within him.

When the kid finally lets out a snore, you cut yourself off. It’s quiet for a long time, but he doesn’t hear any rustling of fabric that would suggest you getting up to put him back in the pram.

“I love you a lot, lil guy,” it’s a soft whisper. He doesn’t know if he would be able to hear it if it weren’t for his helm. “Your dad does too. He’s weird with the way he shows it sometimes, but he does. I can tell. It’s important you know that.”

Din closes his eyes, leaning his head against the wall between the two of you. He stays like that for a long time, listening as you continue to hum despite the fact that the child is asleep. When the lantern light finally clicks off, he clambers to his feet and retreats back to his bunk.

“Din?” It’s your voice, just outside. Panic surges in his chest, the slight warble of your words reminiscent of the night you woke up screaming.

He’s upright and at the door immediately. “Are you okay?”

“I can’t sleep,” your voice is hoarse. “Can I…”

Din slides the door open without hesitation. You already have the blindfold around your eyes, your arms protectively crossed over your stomach in a weak attempt at self-soothing.

Your hand hesitantly stretches out, blindly trying to locate him. He circles your wrist with his large hand, gently pulling you forward to guide your palm against his chest. You follow suit, collapsing against his body, burying your face in his sternum.

It’s a motion filled with such warm familiarity that if he closes his eyes he could almost imagine that the previous night didn’t end in the way it did. Almost as if this were just some long awaited reunion. He wraps his arms around you, holding you tightly against him.

“Hi,” your voice is a small, shy sound against his chest. It’s a greeting, it’s a let’s forget about all of it, for now. Just for now. Din lets go of you for a second to pull off his helmet, burying his face in your hair as soon as the thing is off. He breathes you in. He thinks you might be doing the same.

You eventually pull back, press your lips against his. It’s a small, chaste motion. He takes your hand and leads you back to his bunk, hoisting you up onto the mattress by your hips. Now eye-level with one another, Din stands between your open legs to kiss you again.

He doesn’t allow himself to think it through. Not as he leaves to retrieve the same blanket and pillow as he had the previous night. Not as he returns to find you exactly where he’d left, the sweater you were wearing in a crumbled heap on the floor. Not as your hot mouth presses against his as you undress him. Not as he sucks a constellation of bruises over your chest. Not as he stretches you open with his fingers, winding you into a quivering mess of exposed nerves with his tongue and hands alone.

In the haze of your second orgasm, you reach for the ridged tent of his boxers with a moan, legs still shaking from the come-down. He pushes your hand away gently, kissing your temple and tucking you into his side. The two of you tumble into a deep sleep quickly after.

There are a few points throughout the night where you wake him. The first is a small gesture, just a hand against the side of his neck, but the feeling is so new that is rouses him from sleep instantly.

Your bare body occasionally shifts away from his as you sleep. Not purposefully, just in small readjustments that usually involve moving your hips away from his, or curling a little further into yourself so that the tops of his thighs loose contact with the warm undersides of yours. Every time you do he wakes up to readjust, promptly curling back around you because he’s too selfish to not hold onto you while he can.

There are a few instances where he wakes up because you’ve turned over and onto him, draping your body over his with a little snore or an incoherent sleep-mumble. He’s never seen someone sleep this deeply, and he’s entranced by every little motion of yours. How you nestle against whatever is closest before giving a content hum once readjusted. How your breathing feels against his skin. How your body radiates enough heat that he had to push some of the blankets off the bed and onto the floor. How fucking cold your feet are.

He likes the weight of you there—against his mattress, against him.

At around 4am, you rouse him again when you get up to use the bathroom. He pretends to still be asleep when you return, clumsily managing to clamber back onto the mattress while blindfolded. You settle back into his side, pressing the length of your nose against the warmth of his throat, hooking a leg over his hips and flinging your arm across his chest.

Smiling to himself, he closes his eyes and turns his face further away from you, feigning sleep out of curiosity of what you’d do. After a moment, your hand begins to trail across his chest, settling with your palm resting against his sternum as you tilt your head back, tracing a series of kisses along the underside of his jaw. He shifts his head and opens one eye slightly to look at you, the curve of your body illuminated in the bluish darkness of the bunk.

“Din,” your voice is rough with sleep, speaking with your lips barely hovering over his pulse.

You push yourself further upwards, using the hand on his chest as leverage. Then, your lips against his cheekbone. “Din.” It’s a whisper. Husky in his ear. Another kiss, at the corner of his mouth this time. This one lingers. “Din.”

There is no possible way he could keep playing coy. He seizes you in his arms, pulling you onto his chest to straddle his waist. You let out a surprised squeak before he seals his mouth over yours. You can’t contain a giggle, quickly stifling yourself by deepening the kiss.

Din gently cups either side of your neck with his hands, thumbs rubbing either side of your jaw. It’s the most sustained contact he’ll allow himself—only fair, considering what limited access you had to his. It’s… very important to him that you feel like the two of you were on equal footing.

Maybe he isn’t doing a very good job of it, placing all the emphasis in all the wrong places, but he is trying. In the only ways he knows how, he is trying.

He trails his hands down your legs in a languid praise. When his fingers reach the bandages wrapped around your injured knee, his hands immediately go to your hips to lift you off of him and back on the mattress.

“Fuck, ‘m sorry,” he mutters. “I forgot about the—here, lemme—"

“It’s fine,” you kiss him to make him stop talking. It works exceptionally well, he can’t help but chase your lips with his when you pull back to finish your sentence. “It doesn’t hurt anymore.”

“But you shouldn’t—”

“Last time I checked I was the authority figure on the subject,” you tease, prodding him between the ribs with your knuckle in mock chastisement. Your voice goes low. “Lemme prove it to you.”

And he thinks there’s just no way he hasn’t died and been sent to a heaven he certainly doesn’t deserve because your hands are moving down the length of his torso as you kiss him and just the feeling of that alone is enough. It could have only ever been this feeling alone and it would still be more than enough.

Without breaking from you, he wraps an arm around your lower back to keep you flush against him as he uses his other hand to push himself up. Back now pressed against the wall, he lowers you to his lap.

Your hands resume their downward path, palms flat against the skin of his stomach. He tucks both of his own hands in the pits of your knees, holding you exactly where you are as your hands wrap around his cock.

Din moans into your mouth right before you pull away, his neck stretching to chase your lips until you lean too far back for him to reach you. You release him, bringing up your hand just below your chin. The saliva you’ve gathered at the tip of your tongue glistens in the low, blue light of the captain’s quarters as you let it drip onto your hand.

If you weren’t wearing the blindfold, he knows you’d be looking up at him through your eyelashes in that heated way he had seen you do while flirting with that rat-faced boy back at the Tagge mansion. The thought of that alone it enough to have him straining towards you again, desperate to erase the events of that night—for your sake or his, he isn’t exactly sure.

You stop him by placing your hand, now wet with spit, back on his cock. One hard stroke is enough to have his body straining towards you, covering your neck in hard kisses and sharp little bites. He moans into your collarbone as you continue the agonizingly slow pump, your thumb coming up to swipe the head of his dick with every upwards stroke.

Din can feel how hot your cunt is from where you hover over his lap, the plush skin of your thighs pressed against his quads—his muscles, taught with the restraint it takes not to pin you down and fuck you senseless, are ropes of steel compared to how your soft body sinks against his.

That restraint crumbles when you lean forward to try and kiss him as you continue jacking him off, pressing your tits against his chest, breathing against his cheek as you blindly try to find his lips again. He surges forward to meet you, mouths clashing together in a heated reunion.

Wordlessly, Din removes his hands from your knees, sliding them up your thighs and grabbing onto your hips. He begins to roll you back onto the bed beneath him, but you place your free hand on his bicep, halting him before he can.

You pull away, slightly shoving him to lean back against the wall as you drag your tongue over your lips, plush from sleep and the force of the kiss. Maddeningly, you finished the motion by biting the corner of your bottom lip, right as you lift yourself up from his lap to tease the head of his cock against your entrance.

He can tell you’re still sore from the small sounds you make as you sink onto him, but his ability to acknowledge that quickly flies out the window because Maker you’re so fucking tight it’s nearly painful. He’s about to urge you off him, to insist on foreplay so he doesn’t hurt you--

And he’s left in an absolute daze because he realizes that you want it like this. Because with the first few rolls of your hips you’re already soaking his cock, mumbling incoherent phrases between heady little moans as you arch your spine. You throw your head back as you do, exposing the delicate expanse of your neck that he’d spend the rest of his living days marking if he could.

Din presses up into you to meet each thrust of your hips, the arm he had braced around you shifting up to press against the curve of your spine, coaxing your chest closer to his face. He sucks a nipple into his mouth, the hand that was resting against your leg moving up to press against your lower stomach.

His hands are so big against your body that his thumb is able to reach your clit from where his palm rests. Your hips stutter slightly at the new sensation and it takes far too much self-restraint to resist pinning you to the bed when he feels how you clench around him. He’s able to thrust into you a few times before you continue to ride him, one hand tangled in his hair, the other braced against his bicep.

You slam your hand against the wall for leverage, grinding down on him with a series of sharp gasps, rapidly increasing in pitch as his thumb steadily rubs circles onto your clit.

It’s quick but heated. He lowers the hand on your back and returns it to your hip in encouragement for you to keep going, burying his face in the crook of your neck. With the pace you’ve set, he feels his orgasm drawing up in his stomach far faster than he’d anticipated.

“F-fuck,” he’s able to choke out. “I’m—where should I—”

“Inside,” you pant. You’re holding your breath in that way you do when you’re about to come. “’s safe. Please, oh M—Din, please.”

Your words are more than enough to have him tumbling over the edge. It’s white-hot, then nearly blinding as he feels you quickly follow him, your hips jerking under his thumb. When he resurfaces, cock still pulsing inside you, he realizes he’s bitten down on the patch of skin where your shoulder meets your neck.

Din lets go of you immediately, mumbling an apology and kissing the salty spot before he settles his forehead against where the indentations of his teeth dug scores into the delicate flesh. You’ve already assumed the same position on his opposite shoulder, breathing hard. He holds you against him with both arms wrapped around your lower back.

The two of you stay like that, catching your breath, for what feels a long time. You eventually shift back, messily kissing him. Din grunts, placing a hand against the side of your head as his lips slide against yours.

Muscles still shaky, he lifts you off his lap and guides you back down on the mattress. Grunting, he rolls onto his side to grab his discarded shirt, using it to wipe you off and then himself. You give a sleepy moan as he does, immediately rolling onto your side and draping yourself over him again when he settles back down on the mattress.

“Pel kar’ta—” he begins a sentence he doesn’t know the ending of. You shake your head against his chest.

“Go to bed, Din Djarin,” you murmur, pressing a soft kiss against his shoulder. There’s an unabashed intimacy in how you say it, already half-sleep, all potential barriers forgotten in the haze and heaviness of your eyes.

In a dream, a formless shape stands in the far distance.

It is supposed to be the skinless figure. He knows this because he is still kneeling, still crouched in the midst of some kind of red fog that is at once a whipping wind and a still solace. It depends on how hard he focuses on it.

He can’t look up at it, not where it stands. There are two blazing lights to the distant shape’s back, so strong it forces him to keep his eyes to the ground. But he knows it is there. He knows it is supposed to be the skinless figure, but it isn’t. She never approaches.

He vomits anyway. It’s leeches, this time. A thick, black mass of them, writhing in the hands—his hands—that catch them. He watches as they fall.

When Din opens his eyes again, it is morning.

It is morning and you are gone. So are most of your things. Your bed is stripped, its contents folded in neat piles. You leave the medkit and a note. He doesn’t read it.

taglist: @im-the-nerdiest-of-them-a11 @walkingthegrounds @roseallisonparker @kaitlyn2907 @dinsbeskar @mandoandyodito @kyjoraven @ineffableloveforyou @hotsforrob @pointy-sharp @ironbabey @mufflerfluffler @pedropascalownsmysoul @carbonite-cruncher @daddydjarinxx @altarsw @sarahjkl82-blog @elfwoodfae

#the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian x you #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #din djarin #grogu #din and grogu #mando and grogu #the mandalorian x y/n #din djarin x y/n #star wars fanfiction #fanfic #i'll be here in the morning #i'll be here in the morning ch6

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nctsoftskz · 4 years

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Shy love | bang chan

Word count: 2.7k Pairing: shy! reader x e-boy!, skater! Chan Genre: fluff, romance, cliché af A/N: I know I’m very absent and it’s badly written, but I’m not at my best rn and I suddenly got into my Chan’s feels (i dreamt about him last night 🥺) I’m sorry!! i stg he’s too handsome to be real

Sitting on the bus with your headphones, you dramatically watched the scenery went by at full speed. You needed to go at the other side of the town for an appointment and you decided to try another route to reach your destination point. You had always ridden the train, but at those hours, it was most likely to be packed, and you hated it. Here, you were sitting at the back of the bus, not a lot of people around you. As you neared another bus stop, a group of nine boys mounted the bus, laughing and holding cans of beer and their skateboards or scooters. They were pretty loud, earning side glances from other people riding the bus. You quickly looked at each of them, but you brought your attention back to the cityscape out of the window.

After a few more minutes, the boys had quieted down a bit, giggling and snickering here and there, but something felt odd. You felt like someone was staring at you. You truly hoped that it wasn’t someone creepy, that it was just someone that tried to recognise you.

You turned your head in direction of the staring and you met big hazel eyes. Your heartbeat started increasing and you started feeling hot, studying the boy’s face for a few seconds before looking away out of embarrassment. You felt him doing the same and when you stared at the floor, laughter getting louder on the boy’s side. He looked at you again, but you ignored him, trying to focus on your music and the rainy streets. You pressed the button to stop the vehicle at your bus stop, gathering your stuff and putting your raincoat on. You gulped and gripped a handle, preventing you from falling. As you were about to go off the bus, you stared at the hazel boy one last time and hurried to your appointment, running in the rain.

You found yourself riding the bus more often, a public transport less used by people during rush hour. This time, it was sunny, and you had your sketchbook in hand, trying to draw the boy that you saw last time. You still sat at the back of the bus and music was your only friend, helping you to focus on your artistic task. When you looked up to crack your neck, you immediately sank your head back in your drawing, noticing the skater boys boarding the bus. You held your breath, as if it would make you smaller and voices you recognised started getting quieter, noticing that the boys stood a bit further away from you than last time. You exhaled and forced yourself to not look up, not wanting to be caught staring. Each time one of them talked, you wondered if it was him speaking or not, some voices sending more chills in your body than others.

Lowering your music to hear your stop announcement, you focused on your drawing again as you heard that you still had a long way to go. “Hum, excuse me? Do you mind if I sit here?” a deep yet gentle voice asked and you looked up, immediately shutting your sketchbook. You nodded and clumsily gathered your stuff to make room for him. It was the hazel boy. “What’s your name?” he asked, and you felt like dreaming. Was he interested in you? “I’m… Y/N,” you quietly said and took off an earpiece, briefly looking at him. “And you are?” “I’m Chris, but everyone calls me Chan,” he answered, and you nodded, not really knowing what to do. You were panicking and anxious, whereas Chan looked extremely chill next to you. You stared at his friends, who were looking at the two of you with playful eyes, mocking and teasing their friend for approaching you.

“Don’t mind them,” he said as he followed your gaze, making you turn your head to look at him, “they’re making fun of me, not you, but don’t worry.” “But why are they behaving like this?” you asked and he chuckled. “I’m actually the only one that has the guts to go talk to a girl,” you nodded and clutched your sketchbook against your chest. “Oh, you draw? That’s so cool,” he said as he pointed your small black book and nodded again, smiling. “Yes, it’s one of my hobbies, along with painting,” you said and Chan’s mouth opened to form an “o”, impressed. “That’s so sick,” his smile showed dimples and you felt your breath catching in your throat at the sight, “can I see it?” “Oh hum, I’d rather not if you don’t mind,” you awkwardly said and your grip on your notebook tightened, but you were immediately relieved when Chan nodded. “It’s okay, I know it can be pretty personal, one of my friends over there also likes to sketch but he never shows everything to us,” you gratefully smiled at him and he sent it right back to you, eyes turning into crescent moons. You looked away, flattening your floral dress on your thighs, not knowing how to keep the conversation going. “If I can’t get to see your artworks, can I get your number instead?” you cleared your throat and pursed your lips at his words, not expecting him to be this straightforward. You thought two seconds about it and nodded, making Chan’s smile widen. You shakily took the phone he was handing you and double checked that you entered your correct phone number and gave it back to him with a shy smile.

“Well, it was nice to meet you, Chan, but I’m going off here,” you mumbled and the boy grabbed his skateboard and stood up with you. “Wait, you’re going off here as well?” you asked and he nodded, making your brows furrow. “I don’t live far from here, so I can be around you a bit longer. Only if you don’t mind, I can jump right back in the bus if I bother you.” “No, not at all, it feels kind of nice to have someone with me,” you said as you struggled to put everything in your bag. Chan stood in front of you and held the bottom of your bag, allowing you to put everything in it like you wanted. “Thanks,” you mumbled and slightly shook his head, telling you that it was nothing.

You got to meet Chan a bit more than only in the bus. You were slowly warming up to each other, feeling like a teenager in love when you looked at him. You knew that his looks wanted to make him look unapproachable, but when he was in private, he was a whole other boy. He was smiling, very touchy and gentle, making you crazily blush when he was around.

One evening, you were bored as hell and your parents had to attend a professional meeting together. You texted Chan around twenty minutes ago, but you were still left unanswered. You sighed, pondering about going to bed early or just watch a series. As you were about to go fetch yourself some snacks in the pantry, your smartphone emitted a sound, notifying you from a message.

I’m skating right now, do you want me to come over? you read his text and sighed, still undecided about what you actually wanted to do. Can I come watch you instead? You sent back and locked your phone, dropping it on the bed. His answer wasn’t long in coming. Of course, honey. Make sure to bring a sweater or something warm, it’s getting windy 😉

You smiled and sprung from your bed, putting a sweater above your t-shirt and a pair of leggings before leaving your room. You grabbed water from the fridge, as well as snacks and two apples. Locking your front door, you ran to the bus stop as you heard the bus coming, signalling your presence to the driver to make him stop. Once you arrived at the skatepark near the beach, the salty wind made you inhale deeply, loving the current atmosphere. You noticed only two skateboarders, recognising Chan as one of them. The rest of the people populating the park were skaters, sending ticks mid-air as you passed by them. You carefully walked to Chan, who noticed you and sat on his board while waiting for you. You handed him a bottle of water and an apple, surprising him by your gesture.

“Thank you? That’s so nice of you,” he said gently smiled, watching him gulp down a few sips of fresh water in one go. “You must be tired and thirsty, so I thought that I’d bring something for you,” he passed his arm around your shoulder and drew you towards him, swiftly kissing your temple. Your stomach churned at the action, it was the first time that he showed you affection aside from flirting and complimenting you. You looked at him and he chuckled, his fluffy hair dancing with the wind.

“What? Want me to do it again?” you giggled and looked away. “Not for now,” you answered as you observed the riders clapping and cheering at each other for a trick they managed to succeed. “Wave to me when you want affection, then,” he winked and you shook your head with a smile, stuffing his apple in his mouth. He slightly turned his head away and grabbed your wrist, only to allow him to properly bite into the apple. He munched on it with a happy smile, wiping the juice of the fruit falling from his lips with the back of his hand. “It’s nice to take a break from skating with you,” he said out of nowhere as his eyes got lost in the sea in front of you. The sun was about to set, and the last rays warmed you up from the chilly wind, goosebumps flooding your body. “I feel at peace when we’re together,” you mumbled as you bit into your apple, “I feel like all my worries and anxiety suddenly vanish, it almost feels weird to feel good.” “I’m glad you feel like that when I’m around,” he looked at you with a soft smile, his foot on his board, making it roll back and forth. He stood up, gently letting go of the hand you didn’t notice him hold and speeded on his board, showing you off his skills. You didn’t really care about skateboarding, the only things that mattered to you was the smile on his face when he succeeded a trick or when he looked at you.

Without having him noticing, you took your sketchbook out of your bag and found a pencil in the back pocket and started sketching Chan as he was waiting for the park to clear out a bit. He had the top of his board in his hand, looking away from you with the beach behind him, looking like he was posing. Maybe he was, but you were too immersed in your sketching to care. You curled up a bit on yourself, trying to keep the warmth as close to you as possible. Chan stayed like that for a few more seconds, allowing you to finish the rough draft of his silhouette. Then, he started riding his board again, sometimes closing your eyes to remember details of him and his handsome face.

“Have you gotten bored?” Chan joked as he came back after a while, wiping the light sweat off his forehead and sat down next to you again. You chuckled and put your pencil down, closing the notebook between your fingers. “Nah I’m fine, let’s say that I suddenly got inspired.” His eyes went from your face to your notebook and he pointed at it. “I still can’t have a look at it, can I?” you shrugged and he faked an annoying huff, pushing his hair back and deeply breathed. “It’s not that good, but you can see it. Only that page, I’ll murder you if you flip through it.” He smirked at your warning and opened the sketchbook, his eyes widening at your drawing of him. “It looks so good! So real!” he said as he took a closer look of your piece of art. “I want a poster out of that, Y/N, you’re so talented.” “Chan, it’s just a rough sketch,” you humbly mumbled as you tried to get your sketchbook back, but he extended his arm away from you, teasing you by trying to flip the page with his thumb. “Stooop,” you whined and Chan smiled, softly grunting as you laid your hand on his thigh, shifting your weight to try and grab your precious item.

“I’ll give it back to you only if you kiss me,” he said in your ear and you almost fell at his words. You looked at him and your eyes widened at your sudden proximity, red softly decorating your cheeks. Chan was smirking as he still held your notebook above your heads, arm slowly going numb as you took your sweet time to stare into each other’s eyes. You slowly leant and grabbed his jaw, making sure that he wouldn’t move his face as you kissed the soft skin of his cheek. He huffed as you ruined his entire plan but gave you your sketchbook back anyway.

“You’re so not funny,” he mumbled as you put everything that belonged to you in your bag. Zipping it up, you smiled at him and went to sit on his legs, surprising him. You weren’t usually the one to initiate skinship, but he wasn’t complaining when you did. Chan’s arms wrapped around your shoulders and thighs, enveloping you in a tight embrace. His nose touched your neck and you gasped as you felt his warm lips laying a soft kiss on your sensitive skin.

“Not here,” you whispered, and he laughed. “Come on, it’s just a kiss on the neck, it’s not that deep,” he stated and you heavily blushed, pulling the hood above your head and nestling into his neck. He smelt like cologne and laundry, it was very comforting to be in his arms. Chan’s hands drew you a bit away from him, making you turn to the side, your legs wrapped around him. You were now straddling him, and Chan rested his head on your chest. You rubbed the back of his head and he sighed in content, tightening his grip around you.

“I love you,” he mumbled, completely out of the blue, which startled you. “Come again?” you said, not sure that you heard him quite right. “I love you,” he didn’t hesitate to repeat, his hands going under your sweater and t-shirt, softly rubbing your back as he looked up at you from his spot in your arms. “Since I saw you for the first time, you’re constantly running in my mind. I never told you that but, when we first met in the bus, I almost went off with you like the second time, but I didn’t know what to say or do when I’d reach you. I’m glad that my friends pushed me to come and talk to you because I’ve never been this happy since I’m seeing you.” You laid your hands on his shoulders to make him properly look at you and he had the most delicate eyes that you’ve ever seen on him. Cupping his cheeks, you smiled, softly bumping his nose with yours. He chuckled but you both became serious again, Chan’s eyes leaving yours to land on your lips. He looked back up at you and you nodded, allowing him to capture your lips in a sweet kiss.

Your mouths moved in sync, the kiss bringing you nothing but happiness. Chan had managed to break down your ice walls, comfortably installing himself and his love in your heart. It felt warm, he knew that he was in a good and safe place, and so were you. Chan, under his skater, e-boyish appearance, hid a loving heart, filled with attention and kindness. He felt like trusting again, and he was right. Having you by his side made him feel like nothing could hurt him. You protected each other’s hearts, and that’s the only thing that the two of you needed; someone caring and loving.

509 notes · View notes

kaaytea · 4 years

Note

So how about Lev, Tsuki, Kuroo and Oiks with a really short and shy s/o. (I'm 4'9 so all i want is for someone to pick me up from under the arms like a cat and carry me on their shoulders 👉👈🥺) - Bug Anon

Jsksndk ✨this~✨

Short s/o

⤷Includes: Tsukki, Kuroo, Lev, and Oikawa

----------------------------------------------------------

Tsukishima

I'm sorry but this is Tsukki, he will clown you

No one else is allowed to tease you about your height tho, he will actually end them with some back handed comment

He's the type where if you walk up to him during the day and start talking he'll kinda ignore you a bit then be like "oh sorry, I didn't see you down there"

He’s so mean about it but at the same time he loves when you ask him for help

He makes a big show about being annoyed that you need him to grab something off the top shelf when secretly it's his favorite thing

Thinks it's the funniest thing when you try to kiss him

Like it's not gonna happen you're way to smol to reach his lips

He'll torture you for a bit but eventually he leans down so he can kiss you

Sorry but he rests his arm on your head a lot 😔

Is probably happy that you're a bit shy bc it's easy to fluster you and he vibes well with people that lean more introverted

Living with tall people is actually the worst, like whY does Tsukki feel the need to put all of your favorite mugs on the tOp!! Shelves when he knOws you can't reach them

You know it's fine, you're used to this and have become a champion counter climber 😌✨

So that explains why you were currently kneeling on the counter reaching up for a mug at 10 pm

"What the hell are you doing?"

".......getting my mug? What's it look like silly"

Why are you like this? Why do you feel the need to put yourself in dangerous situations so much?

Kei sighed and walked over to you, he grabbed your waist and pulled you down from the counter then reached up and got the mug down

"You need to stop endangering yourself when you could literally just ask me to help you"

"I wouldn't be endangering myself if you stopped putting MY things on the high shelves!... I swear you do it on purpose sometimes"

He definitely does it on purpose....but he'll never tell you that :)

Kuroo

God he loves you

Kuroo is such a huge dork so expect him to fawn over you

He won't tease you toooo much like he occasionally will hold something out of your reach to watch you jump around trying to get it back

But he really just appreciates you as you are 😌

Kuroo is used to shy, introverted ppl so he's not bothered by it at all

As long as he can hug you he's happy

He LOVES to rest his chin on your head!!

If you're still too short for him to do that he also LOVES giving you back hugs, so either way it's a win win

You were watching Tetsu practice spiking, most of the team had left, only a few stragglers remained trying to get in some extra practice

You were very content with your spot, you were out of the way and happily sat swinging your legs back and forth. Plus you had a pretty good view of Tetsu and Kenma from your bench meaning you could soak up the pure joy that radiated off your boyfriend

Tetsu looked over to see you watching

"Wanna try spiking, sweetheart?"

"Tetsu, I don't think I can even jump high enough to see over the net"

"We won't know until you try~"

I mean he was right...I guess it couldn't hurt

And ya know he looks really cool when he spiked so maybe you'd look pretty cool too!

You walked over to Tetsu and gave Kenma the ok to set the ball for you

You jumped up and you actually hit the ball!!

But the ball didn't even make it past the net 😭

"DON'T LAUGH AT ME!"

"No no you did really good!... You uh... Looked very cute?"

">:(("

"Here do it again I wanna try something"

You sighed, he was just setting you up for failure so he can watch you make a fOOL of yourself again

Kenma set the ball and you jumped up

ONLY THIS TIME YOU KEPT RISING

NDKDNDK KUROO IS REALLY LIFTING YOU UP RN SO YOU CAN SPIKE

You hit the ball and it shot to the ground with a satisfying slap!

"THAT FELT SO COOL!! I FEEL SO POWERFUL!!"

"Yeah you sure look intimidating having me lift you up so you can look over the net"

"Let me have this moment, Tetsurou"

Lev

If anyone were to pick you up like a cat it's this kid

He is lAnKy and you being smol?

He will pick you up....you physically cannot stop him

Likes to lift you up and spin you around when you come to visit him at practice

It usually ends with you being pretty dizzy and Yaku kicking Lev for treating you like a cat

Lev is pretty oblivious to what he says, specifically to people that are shorter to him

He might say something that’s a little rude and unknowingly offend you but he really doesn't mean it

Like it just doesn't click for him that there's a chance he's being insensitive

Just remember that Lev would never ever hurt you intentionally and if he realizes that he hurt you he'd probably panic and continuously apologize to you for the next week

I feel like Lev would compare your hand sizes a lot. He thinks its funny how much smaller your hands are compared to his he gets this funny feeling in his chest whenever he does, you’re just very tiny and cute

It seems like wherever Lev goes he always finds a cat

It's very odd

You were walking around a park for a date when he suddenly stopped at a tree

"AH A CAT WE HAVE TO HELP IT!"

"......It's pretty far up there Lev, I don't think even you can reach it"

"We can't just leave it!!! Quick get on my shoulders!!"

What

How did this happen?

Correction, How did you let this happen?

You reached your hand out to the orange cat sitting on the branch, it slowly made its way in your direction

"Did you save it?"

"almost, move a little to the right"

That cat gracefully leaped into your arms and started purring

Ok maybe this was worth it bc this cat is really cute🥺

You and Lev ended up playing with the cat for a bit getting it to bat at some leaves

The cat even followed you guys for a bit and you see it every so often on your park dates

You named it apricot

Oikawa

I hate to say it but you know that feeling you get when you see a really cute kitten or puppy?

Yeah that's how Oikawa reacts

You're just.....tiny and he has this overwhelming need to hold you

He honestly loves that you're short

Oiks is, surprisingly, pretty tall. Like man is pushing 6'0 so having a small s/o just makes him :))!!

Oikawa doesn't mind your timidness, he thinks it adds to your charm!

Boy friken loves when you hide your face in his chest

Also king of piggy back rides 😌

He will carry you everywhere if given the chance

You were walking back to Oikawa's place

He just finished practice and it was a Friday so he insisted you come over for a sleepover

Yes he still calls them sleepovers, let him live it's cute

You were walking down the street, hand in hand, and the sun had just started going down painting the sky with warm reds and oranges

To be honest you were kinda tired so you started dragging behind a bit

You took a nap while you waited for Seijoh’s practice to end and you only woke up maybe 15 minutes ago? So you were kinda in that weird state where your awake...but not very aware

"(y/n)-chan?"

"huh?"

"Did you not hear what I said?"

"no....I'm sorry Turoo I'm still a bit tired"

":0!! I can't have my precious s/o wAlking if they're tired!"

He just scOOPS you up bridal style and continues walking like it's nothing

I-

Huh I mean sure I guess, if you really insist Tooru

You wrap your arms around his neck for more stability and he sneaks a kiss on to your cheek

"Won't your arms get tired carrying me?"

"Oh please, you're as light as a feather"

😳 ig Volleyball training has it's benefits bc he really can carry you everywhere and never get tired

167 notes · View notes

olivinesea · 4 years

Text

Space Is Only Noise If You Can See

a/n: I don’t know why I’m doing this. Maybe it’s because I handle change & uncertainty extremely poorly and that is all my life is rn. Maybe I just need to find out the extent of my evil powers. Regardless, you’re about to experience something unpleasant. TW major character death, suicide mentions, guns, violence, you name it, it’s happening. Only positive is I actually outlined the whole thing first this time so I know where we’re going (it’s not good). ~2.8k

Mr. Scratch surrendered. Or did he? Discuss.

It was always the smell that got to him. The sickly sweet scent of decaying flowers. He wondered who had made the decision to flood all funerals with the same noxious lilies. Didn’t that smell make anyone else feel ill? It lingered in the back of his throat, fogging his vision. He scowled at the offending arrangements—ostentatious wreathes shaped like hearts with hollow messages in a stock cursive font. He had been to so many funerals at this point he was reluctant to admit he sometimes got confused about where he was, who he was mourning. He tried to focus on the portrait of the deceased, but the outline kept shifting.

He blinked hard to settle his contacts, tears always had a detrimental effect on their usefulness. He needed to remember to wear his glasses to the next funeral. A twisted laugh threatened to slip, gallows humor at its finest. No matter how hard he tried, there would always be a next funeral. He wondered how many more before it was his turn, before he no longer had to be the one staying strong for everyone else, pretending the smell didn’t make him choke. He looked again, determined to figure out when he was before he was required to do anything, before he let on that he wasn’t fully present.

The coffin, shiny and black, occupied center stage. Where he thought he’d seen people solemnly walking up the aisle to say goodbye, there was only empty space. He realized he was unnervingly alone. Yet the coffin was not, it was flanked on either side by identical shapes, the light reflecting from their polished surfaces dazzling his vision. He stumbled to his feet, gripping tightly to the smooth wood of the pew in front of him. He rubbed his fingers against it, distracted by the grain, worn down by decades of touch. He looked again and there were six coffins, the once open space crowded and bent to accommodate so much loss.

He swayed, confused, it must be the damn flowers. The whole room seemed to tilt and he fell into the aisle, landing hard on his knees. He looked up just in time to see the coffins, doubled, tripled in size, rolling toward him, shuddering as they picked up speed.

Hotch gasped as he woke up on the jet, gripping the armrest tightly as he scanned the area around him. No one noticed the slight disruption, he knew well how to stay still, how to disappear in response to distress. Everyone was dozing or lost in their thoughts, drained from long days on the road. He counted their heads to check that everyone was accounted for. They were coming back from another case, he wasn’t quite sure from where. His hands shook from holding the seat too tightly so he put them in his lap, absently running his thumb across his other fingers.

He pulled out his phone to check the time and, more importantly, to check the date. He’d been struggling ever since the Scratch case to keep the details of time in order. It was embarrassing and he did his best to hide these lapses in awareness. The disorientation was always worse after one of these dreams. Though he was too practiced to show he was having nightmares, this one was starting to get to him. It had been coming back again and again since that night when he watched his team die. One right after the other, unable to stop it, unable to even be sure it wasn’t himself pulling the trigger. Though they were safe, were still alive at least, he couldn’t shake the fear. It had been so real. And it had been his fault.

He tried to tell himself to let it go, that it was only a hallucination brought on by a chemical attack from a psychopath. A man who was now in prison, successfully captured by his very alive teammates while he sat uselessly on the floor, afraid to trust his senses. However, he couldn’t quite escape the nagging fear that Scratch didn’t surrender, that in the mess of it all he had gotten away. When he let himself think about it, it never made sense that a man so calculated, so many moves ahead of them, would simply give in. He couldn’t be sure that the surrender wasn’t one of the false memories.

There was no way to distinguish between them, the real and the nightmare. He could only convince himself that his team was alive by watching carefully as they breathed whenever they weren’t looking. By their heated bickering over who would ride where. Lately he had even relinquished the driver’s seat, worried that his loosely tethered mind might sweep them all off the road. He fixated on their little habits, certain that these were things his mind couldn’t make up, proof that his family was really there in front of him. The orange fingerprints on case files and every single coffee mug disappeared from the kitchenette, lost wherever Reid set them down before forgetting, caught up in some exciting train of thought. Things that might have frustrated him before became lifelines to reality, the reality he hoped with all his heart was true.

In the immediate days after the attack, he would ask Dave, quietly, for assurance that Peter Lewis was locked up, unable to harm his team. Dave was understanding, remembering how he had been that night, eyes full of loss. But the looks he gave Hotch grew longer and more worried with each repetition of the question. Now, again unsure, he was too ashamed to ask.

It had been so hard to keep things straight in his mind. For awhile he had been writing himself notes: “Peter Lewis is in prison.” Except he would find them again later, letters added, message changed, unable to tell if it was still his handwriting. It didn’t make sense for it to be someone else, fuck he kept these notes in his pockets, in his desk drawer, in his medicine cabinet. He couldn’t remember changing them though. Maybe that was what he had written in the first place. The confusion of the notes started making him feel worse so he stopped writing them. Every time he found another one, he tore it into tiny pieces, all the while trying to convince himself nothing was wrong with his behavior, nothing was wrong with his mind.

On Saturday, rare in its lack of crisis, Hotch was sitting on the couch, finally free to read a book while waiting for Jack to get home. He had been invited to a movie with some school friends. He started thinking about how relieved he was that Jack had friends to do normal things with and lost track of the story. As he scanned back, a little surprised how far he’d read without absorbing any information, his phone rang. His lungs constricted. Fear was always the first reaction to the phone ringing. He leaned forward to pick it up from the coffee table, brushing away his irrational feelings. It was Spencer. That was a little odd but not unheard of. Sometimes Spencer learned a new fact that only Hotch would appreciate and couldn’t wait until they got back to the office to share it. He smiled as he answered, anticipating an excited rush of speech. Instead there was silence.

“Hello?”

Nothing. He listened hard, not sure if he could hear breathing. There was some rustling, muffled and indistinct. Maybe Spencer dialed him by accident. He hung up and tried calling back. It rang without answer. He tried one more time but got the same result, the voicemail picking up quicker the second time. He told himself there was a mundane explanation but anxiety crawled like a spider up his neck. He was about to make another call, was trying to decide who was most likely to be helpful. Penelope? Derek? But then Jack walked in the door, hyped on candy and popcorn and wanting to repeat every joke from the movie. He let it go, if it was important Spencer would call back.

Monday morning and Spencer wasn’t in the office. Hotch had been there since 6 am, buried in paperwork, perpetually stuck in a state of catching up. He didn’t notice the absence until JJ came to ask him if he had any update from Spencer.

“Hmm? No, I haven’t heard from him. Update on what exactly?”

“Oh well he was supposed to come over for game night on Saturday but he said he wasn’t feeling well.” She assumed he was still sick, that he had called out. It was very unlike him to skip out on work, though perhaps he was just very unwell. Images of Spencer, pale and shaky, in the depths of his addiction, flashed through both of their memories and they exchanged looks. It had been so many years, and he did such a good job of pretending it never even happened, but they still remembered. It always came back whenever some uncertainty with Reid popped up.

“Have you tried calling him?” He tried to be logical, not everything needed to be the end of the world.

“Just goes to voicemail.” She raised her eyebrows at him, the silent question—what do we do boss?

He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He looked at the files covering his desk, he’d already put in several hours today, he could use a break.

“I’ll go check on him.”

She started to offer to go with him but he waved her off. If Reid was sick there was no reason for both of them to be exposed. If it was something else, well, it was probably better if Hotch was alone for that too. Just as he got to the elevator, Derek caught up with him.

“I hear you’re going to check on pretty boy,” he was trying to sound light-hearted.

Hotch made a noise in response.

“I’m coming with you.”

Hotch looked over at him and saw the steel behind the statement. He wasn’t asking. Neither one needed to say aloud the worry laying just beneath the surface. That dreaded what if that swam around in the back of all their minds. He gestured for Morgan to get in the elevator ahead of him.

They got to Spencer’s apartment with still no word from him. He didn’t answer when they knocked on the door and though neither wanted to admit it, they were starting to panic.

“He better be passed out on cough syrup,” Morgan muttered as he flipped through his keys to find Reid’s spare, still trying to mask his fear. When they got the door open the apartment was cold and empty. The blinds were closed and the room was dark. Once they flipped the lights on everything seemed normal though unoccupied. The apartment was relatively neat, stacks of books and papers operating as some kind of decor.

“Reid?” they called even though they could tell he wasn’t there. They wandered through the small apartment, checking for signs of their friend.

“Hotch!”

Hotch caught the edge of the door with his shoulder and swore as he hurried out of the bedroom to respond to Morgan’s distressed call. He was standing in the small kitchen, looking at the counter. On it were Reid’s keys, phone and wallet. They could have been tossed there upon his arrival. But wouldn’t he have taken them if he had gone somewhere?

“Where is he?” Morgan’s voice was tight.

Hotch shook his head, this didn’t make sense. He picked up the phone and saw the list of missed calls from the office, from JJ, from him. He unlocked it and checked, heart sinking as his fear was confirmed. The last call was to his own phone on Saturday evening.

“Call Garcia,” he said, checking Reid’s messages.

“What’s going on Hotch?” Morgan couldn’t take his eyes off Reid’s phone, the frantic way Hotch was scrolling through it.

He stopped and looked up. “I…I don’t know.” The images from his dream, his nightmare were threatening to envelop him. Reid crumpled on the ground, a gunshot still ringing, dark wood with rounded edges cradling his lifeless body. The phone screen blurred when he looked at it again and he dropped it on the counter, using his hands to hold himself up.

“Hey man, are you ok?” Derek started to move closer but Hotch turned away, effectively closing himself off.

“Call Garcia, we need to start a search.” And I need to get a grip, he thought as the world around him shifted disturbingly. If something was as wrong as it seemed, they would all be looking to him to solve it. He certainly couldn’t do that if he wasn’t even sure if he was clinging to the counter or the floor.

It was hours later when they finally got a lead. It was not the lead that they wanted. There was a report of a body matching his description at a morgue one town over. It had been pulled out of the river in the early hours on Sunday, spotted by a couple of unhappy fishermen. There had been no wallet, no ID, no way to figure out who he belonged to. They had put him down as a John Doe, a presumed suicide and he was being held until they could get around to trying to match dental records. Garcia teared up as she relayed the information to the rest of the team.

“That can’t be him! Are you sure?” Morgan spoke more harshly than he meant to, nerves frayed by hours of fending off worst case scenarios.

Garcia hesitated, holding a folder. “They sent pictures but…I can’t look. I’m sorry.” She started crying in earnest now.

“Oh baby girl,” Morgan put a hand gently on her shoulder and pulled the file away. He was reluctant to open it as well. Hotch saw this and quickly took the folder and walked to the other side of the table where he flipped it open. His mouth formed a grim line and he didn’t have to say anything for them to know. He was glad he took it, happy to spare them the sight of waxy pale skin, the only color a deep purple beneath his closed eyes and his startlingly blue lips. It looked like he was wearing make up, like this was just another Halloween look Spencer was testing out. Hotch stared at the picture a moment too long. This is real, he told himself.

“Aaron?” Dave tried to pull his attention back to the room of anxious agents. Even though they knew, there was still the tortured hope that if he didn’t say it out loud, it wasn’t true.

He sighed, “It’s Spencer.”

Garcia let out a sob and turned into the hug that Morgan wrapped around her. JJ, sitting at the table stared into the distance.

He tried to organize the facts, solidify them in his mind by repeating them silently to himself. He ran his hand through his hair, a nervous gesture he normally suppressed to avoid having it sticking out wildly.

“I’ll go formally identify the…” He couldn’t call Spencer a body. “I’ll go see when we can get him transferred to us.”

“I can come with you,” Dave offered but Hotch declined. Looking at the others he felt like they needed someone to stay with them that would ward off anything too impulsive. They were all stunned at the moment but the feeling in the room was unsettled.

“You’re wrong.” JJ spoke without looking at him, her gaze still fixed at a spot on the far end of the table. “Spence wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t.”

He realized she was crying and felt a weight start to crush his chest. With effort he moved to where she sat, unable to find anything to say. He touched her hand but she jerked away, suddenly standing and glaring at him.

“You’re wrong,” she repeated before leaving quickly.

There was a hand at his elbow, squeezing gently. “I’ll go talk to her in a little bit. You should get going, it’s already late.”

He tried not to pull away too quickly as he nodded his thanks at Dave, who looked at him curiously.

“Are you sure you don’t want someone to come with you?”

“No, no. I’m fine. I can do it.” He hoped Dave would ignore the shake in his voice. He was fine, he could do this, he didn’t have a choice. He walked to his office to get his things, stopping for a moment to pull out Reid’s phone again. He needed to check the calls one more time, to confirm what he thought he remembered. Sure enough, his number remained the last outgoing call. He didn’t know if it was better or worse that it was real.

~Part 2~

#Criminal Minds #tw major character death #tw suicide mention #tw guns #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #penelope garcia #jj jareau #spencer reid #david rossi #dont hate me

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a-simp-for-haikyuu · 4 years

Note

Can I please req some Kenma relationship headcannons, that's all, thanks

I’m so soft for Kenma rn akdjskakka

Masterlist

— Kenma Kozume

Shy bby

Isn’t big on pda, but likes more of the little gestures of it

Like hand holding, linking pinkies, cheek kisses, ect

He doesn’t hide your relationship, it’s just no one asked so no one really knew except Kuroo

Until that one time when Lev asked Kenma to practice with him on the weekend and he said he couldn’t because you two had plans

aND THEN THE WHOLE TEAM WAS SHOOK

But they love you 🥺

Fr Yamamoto is ready to slap a bitch if they even so much as stare at you for too long

NE WAY

If you wanna make him soft, wear his hoodies, kiss his nose, play with his hair and sit in his lap while he games

He will m e l t like putty in your hands

Gives you practically all his hoodies since he just loves how cute you look in them

And he likes the fact that when you give them back they always smell like you

Doesn’t always know how to express how much he loves you verbally, so he tends to do it more physically

But when he does express it verbally it’s the softest thing

At first he’ll be hesitant and really shy with affection, so you’ll have to initiate it

But when he gets more used to it he won’t hesitate to cuddle you 🥰

His kisses are always v soft and v sweet

He prefers staying inside for dates, like watching a movie or gaming or smth

But also likes quiet or really chill dates

If you go to one of their games, he’ll get really flustered

But it will make him play better

When you both are on the train ride home, you two will share earbuds and hold hands while you lean your head on his shoulder

And he’ll kiss your head every now and then

Whenever you two are hanging out on his bed or smth, your legs will be tangled together as you cuddle

I cannot tell you the amount of times you both have just been cuddling and then you both ended up taking a nap together sdghfds

He’ll definitely send you memes at 3 am especially wholesome memes

If you date Kenma and weren’t already best friends with Kuroo

You are now

You can’t date one of them without being best friends with the other

That’s just how it is, I don’t make the rules

You’ll both call or ft whenever you two can

It doesn’t matter if he’s gaming and you’re doing homework or smth, you’ll both just be vibin on ft

OKOKOK but like this boy is a blessing in winter

Bc he’s just so warm??

Not overwhelmingly warm but just the perfect amount yk?

RAINY!! DAYS!!

Rainy days with him are the best

He’ll wrap a blanket around the both of you and spoon you while he games

I’m so soft rn

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bukojuiice · 4 years

Note

Did you see the chapter 306 leaks of mha?

I AM SO SAD RN!!😭😭😭

HI ANON!!! YES I DID 😭😭😭 PLS I WAS CRYING FOR LIKE AN HOUR AND IT REALLY PUT ME INTO A BAD MOOD

i actually can't wait for all the leaks to come out so that i can finally call it a day because i can't take all these feelings anymore i'm about to combust jsjsjsjsjs 🥺

spoilers below the cut i jus wanna,, talk and scream abt this,,,

worst case scenario, we get a time skip. i'm not ready for the emotions that's going to course through me when that actually happens. but, it's gonna happen sooner or later. and with where the story is at right now, it's most likely to happen. but idk horikoshi really surprises us every single time so i don't think he's just gonna throw that at us just yet.

best case scenario, todoroki and bakugo, or dekusquad, or class 1-A + aizawa follows izuku to wherever the heck he went to. but, i honestly doubt deku would become a morally grey character/anti-hero simply because he dropped out of UA and left. anitwt is even comparing him to the likes of eren, (a character who deserves a literal 20 page essay on his personality and development) even though they have two entirely different personalities, two entirely different character motivations and worlds that they live in. there's nothing to compare between the two of them except that we watched them grow up and mature through the course of the anime/manga. there's such a huge diff between them and i cannot emphasize that enough honestly.

there’s been this rumor going around tiktok that mha is going to end at like chap 307 and the manga is going to get a new name and a new manga series. signifiying the end of the “academia” arc ???? which is just absolute nonsense LMAO. as far as i know, naruto didn’t have a manga name change when they skipped to shippuden?? naruto shippuden had such a huge tone shift from the original manga. the whole manga when shifting to the time skip was like “awe it’s been a few years anyways naruto’s back from his journey lol they’re young adults now!!” other examples i could think of are death note, bleach, fairy tail, one piece?? (to just name a few!) where there were such huge and significant time skips yet that doesn’t mean that the name of the manga needs to be changed or they’re retiring the “my hero academia title” (i’m not one for business or the copyright stuff, but doesn’t this have something to do with intellectual properties too?? i don’t wanna dwell on that but yes)

my own dumb theory is that the fantasy au is foreshadowing this new arc we’re about to enter HAHAHAHA it’s super dumb but the fantasy ed has izuku leaving his home and then meeting up with bakugo, ochaco, ilda and shoto!! might just be a weird coincidence.

to add to another one of my dumb theories, i know that horikoshi is a huge star wars fan (i grew up in a home with a father that’s a big star wars fan too and it’s just star wars everywhere around the house i tell u) and like i said, this is going to be a bit of a stretch, but it’s possible that izuku is going to go on this “jedi” journey to discover himself. it’s possible for him to go on it alone i guess, but judging from the star wars films, the main character always has a merry band of other characters to accompany him on this journey! the dreams?? visions?? that izuku has of the past ofa users really remind me of the jedi masters calling out and showing themselves as a sort of guide to the main protags of the star wars films! it just makes a ton of sense!! horikoshi literally named one of the cities as mustafu and tatooine if i’m not mistaken? which are btw, two of the most popular/important locations in the star wars universe!

another plausible theory is izuku going to america to train and just get the heck out now that things about ofa and afo have been revealed which i can see??? seems a bit far-fetched i guess (since it’s implied that the 3rd movie is going to center around the trio going to the US already, assuming that john cena is gonna be part of the movie.)

ANYWHOOO that’s enough of my rambling! let’s pray and wait for the leaks anonnie!! and alsooo what next week’s chapter has in store for us! this is going to be a long ride :’)

#my hero academia #julianneasks #mha 306 #bnha 306 #mha 306 spoilers #bnha 306 spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha spoilers #anon 👥✨#boku no hero academia #mha #bnha

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ricaffeine · 4 years

Text

𝐇𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐥 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 | 𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐫

a/n: finally i updated this lol. i hope you guys haven’t lost interest in this AU yet :( this took me two excruciating nights to write so it’d mean a lot if you’d leave any kind of feedback!! you know it makes it makes my hours of suffering worthy haha, anyways i hope you enjoy this, the next chapter will be very fun hehehe <3 (it’s 2am rn isn’t it great, enjoyyy;)

CHAPTER FIVE

It’s like a faint breath when he gradually breaks away from their kiss, ever so gingerly as his face swells into her cloudy vision. The droplets of rain that collapse onto her skin cause her to shiver, however her eyes strain on him. Deliberately she studies his tense features, drops of water glide down his breathtaking face, and Kangtae quips back from his stare that was directed behind her, his breathy voice matches her trembling breath.

“Are you okay?”

Her heart hammers in her chest as she blinks rapidly, Munyeong forces down a gulp. For the first time in her life she couldn’t think of a snarky comeback. What was she supposed to answer? I’m okay?

Shakily, she clutches onto the fabric of his shirt and her one-track mind blurts out.

“I’m hungry.”

A sharp ring blares into the silence as they step into the convenience store, decently warm air greets their entrance and passive employees don’t take note of their presence. Munyeong squeamishly glances around as she seats herself to an empty table he has brought her to. “When I told you I was hungry, I didn’t think you were going to bring me to this kind of place.”

Kangtae lets out a breath and retorts. “So you expected me to bring a fancy restaurant to you during this storm?”

She huffs, topping one leg across the other as she crosses her arms. “Forget it.”

Time ticks by as rain shatters against the glass plane walls− the store’s lambent light glows among the dark street, like a flame luring in any lone moth upon this thundering night. The lingering acidic fragrance of mopping detergent that mixes with fresh rain burns through her nose and frigid air coats her blistered skin- her damp clothes steering another wave of iciness to her numb body. Munyeong intensely studies his figure, daggering slits at every movement of his excruciatingly amiable composure, doubting how he could still be− whilst trains of endless thoughts ran through her wild mind, he had the audacity to be this calm.

Her skin crawled with impatience. Still she could not put a finger behind any of his deeds- sure she had noticed the factors that resonated with his extremely complicated personality, but none of them were in any way comprehensible. How could he be pushing her away one minute, then the next minute she sees him running towards her under the thrashing rain− kissing her?

Unforgivingly her mind muses back over to their stunt− his lips were soft, warm against the icy surroundings as he teeth relentlessly dragged across her lower lip. She scoffs at her thought, cheeks subconsciously burning and she focuses on planning her confrontation instead.

Despite her glowering stare, his negligence did not seem to demolish− Kangtae restlessly pours the hot water into both cups. Weighing his options of either waiting for it to cook at the table with her− that includes risking an opening for her to launch her interrogation, or he would rather stand at the counter. He chooses the latter.

To think about it, the only reason she was still even in her right mind was because of him. If he had not abandoned his interpretations to never see her again and rescue her from another imminent disaster, she would not stand the chance to live a normal life after seeing that vicious spirit. Notably, his stunt did a fairly good job at distracting her, however, yes, their incident earlier was a terrible mistake− in fact it was the gravest decision he had made during his 200 existing years− but what was he supposed to do? It was forbidden that he could harm any of the hotel’s guests, let alone she was the one who refused to follow through his instructions.

The clock ticks and Kangtae lets out a grunted sigh, picking both cups as he heads back to the grave he had solely dug. He can feel her broiling gaze as he slides into the opposite chair, her bickering follows shortly. “Aish, you didn’t even buy kimchi.”

Breaking apart the wooden chopsticks, Kangtae responds nonchalantly, avoiding any possible confrontation. He doesn’t have the energy to. “Just eat. You said you were hungry.”

Munyeong severely glares at him− he stirs his cup of noodles, elbows planted on the edge of the table as his drenched shirt clings onto his figure and if Munyeong was not so baffled at the moment, she would be giddily eating up the view of his toned muscles.

But she was baffled, everything he had done only assigned a new question to her brain. Yet he was speaking to her so casually, it only drags her mood to aggravation and her patience slips away like quicksand. Unraveling her arms, she leans forward, settling her elbows on the table, eyes gleaming and she releases her flaming curiosity.

"Do you like me?"

Instantaneously he freezes− Kangtae can't help but scoff. Surely he had expected her pretentiousness, although he did not predict it was this level. He sternly pierced eyes with her, tone laced with determination. "No, Ko Munyeong. I don’t like you. Don't be so delusional− "

"Me? Delusional? Not even an hour ago you were so concerned about getting me to leave, yet you were the one who ran up and kissed me−” Munyeong lashes out, eyes suddenly glinting as if she understood something. Her voice drops as she arches an eyebrow at him, words punched with emphasis. “Are you playing hard to get?"

Lost for words, Kangtae gapes, breaking away their stare as his jaw set into a sharp line. “No. Now could you−”

“If not, then what?” She cuts him off. That was the only reason that seemed to resolve his bizarre actions. “Why did you kiss me?”

Time stands still between them, a few seconds of deafening silence break with the heaving of her chest before he crudely bites out a response.

“A mistake. It was a mistake.”

She is not one gullible enough to believe his lie and Munyeong curses under her breath, the itch to rile him up until he is inescapable routes through her veins. Instead she roughly peels the lid off her bowl of now cold noodles, she feeds herself in a pace where it might give her a stomach ache but she doesn't care. At least the food was coping with one of her feelings. She’ll get him to answer anyway.

Collapsing into his arm chair, his agonizing groan breaks into the tight silence of his room. Fatigue washes down his aching body and Kangtae closes his eyes shut, head falling back.

“Sir.” Jinhyun’s voice emits as he hastily enters the room. “Is everything alright?”

“I’m fine. Inform the grim reapers about our lost guest,” He orders. “They’ll take care of it.” The older slowly nods, although his worry does not die down as he queries another question. “What about Ms. Ko?”

Kangtae hesitates. “She’s fine.”

Their conversation had ended abruptly after he bit out those words, she ignored him for the rest of their meal, and when he succeeded to get her a ride home, she brushed past him without a goodbye. He was thankful, really.

“Call her tomorrow and tell her I have a deal to offer.”

When Jinhyun dismisses himself, Kangtae sinks back into his chair, a long sigh bleeding from his chest. His intinctions tell him to push her away. But he couldn’t. Not until he ascertained how she saw− did such things. To his knowledge that tree was well dead for years, supposedly forever, let alone it was forbidden to be seen by mortals. Until her. Ko Munyeong, that illustrator. She sparked something that even he could not do.

His unsettling chest demands for an answer, and he knows exactly who he needs to confront. Mago.

taglist -> @truccieeboo @anotherdush @pig-on-acid @4everinbluejeans @pancat @lookingatthesunset @ourcoffeeaddictme @ailander @nothingcreativeyet @callmeashipper @evielovesfood @waywarm @hotstuff-benswolo @ewolfwitchwisegirl @gloster @mszelle

#it's okay to not be okay #psycho but it's okay #pbio fic #iotnbo fic #hotel moon light #hotel blue moon #hotel del luna #moon kang tae #moon gang tae #ko mun yeong #ko moon young #kim soohyun #seo yeaji

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theghostofashton · 4 years

Text

i am craving Validation hard rn so here’s a lil snippet of something i’ve been working on. yes it’s glee it’s klaine and set after the season six finale

kinda trigger warning for depression, it’s not explicit at all and there’s nothing graphic, it’s just mentioned

"You okay?"

Kurt turns his head to kiss Blaine's hair as he feels the arms wrap around his waist, Blaine's nose nuzzling into the crook of his neck. Blaine is quiet, breath warm against Kurt's skin, and when Kurt sets his coffee mug on the counter and reaches for one of his husband's hands, he can tell why.

Blaine's hands are shaking. Kurt can feel his heart racing against his back. His face is turned downward, eyes trained on the floor. That alone tells Kurt that something's wrong. When Blaine hugs him, when he's elated or excited or euphoric, his chin fits perfectly into the crook of Kurt's neck, grin out on display for anyone around them to see, eyes blissfully shut.

When he's sad, everything is different. His eyes land on a point on the ground, and he hides part of his face, holding on tighter than he usually does as if trying to simply disappear. He anchors himself with Kurt’s body, clings harder than he ever has, tries to ride out the worst part of the wave as it rockets through him.

"Don't feel good," Blaine mumbles, half muffled because he refuses to move his head. His grip on Kurt gets impossibly tighter, squeezing above his hips and around his belly. "And I have so much to do today, and it's not something I can push off anymore, and it all just feels so fucking overwhelming, and I don’t, I can’t-“ He cuts himself off with a whimper, breathing out rapidly against Kurt's shoulder. Kurt feels him start to pull back and winces, knows, that Blaine is growing more uncomfortable by the second.

Therapy has brought him a little bit of comfort in opening up about the negative feelings, but like himself, Kurt knows Blaine is still highly adverse to asking for help when it relates to his depression. Years of being told that it's all in his head, he's too privileged to have those problems, mental health issues being construed as things only "crazy" people have to deal with, and Blaine still feels ashamed. Kurt would be lying if he said he didn't share the sentiment. On his bad days, though, he mostly wants to be left by himself.

That was one of the things they had to learn about each other later on. That felt like the missing piece, the ultimate patch over the pothole their relationship kept running over. Blaine needs to be reassured more than the average person, and Kurt needs more space. Two different people with two different mental health journeys are bound to cause chaos when things don't line up.

"Sweetheart." Kurt whirls around and pulls Blaine back into him, tucks him into his chest and presses a long kiss against the top of his head. "Take a breath, honey, okay? I'm here. I'm here with you. We'll do it together."

He talks Blaine through a couple more breathing exercises, in for four, hold for seven, out for eight. That's it. I'm so proud of you.

"Sorry," Blaine mumbles, when his breathing has returned to a normal rate. He won't look up. Kurt's sure if he didn't have hold of Blaine's shoulders, the other man would've long fled the room by now. "I'm okay now. I don't- that was..."

"You, having a bad morning?" Kurt supplies. "Really, B. It's okay. You don't have to be sorry. I’m always here."

#this is so messy but i kinda love it?#i have this whole headcanon about klaine post season six and i'm still on season 2 lmfao #but obv i know how it ends bc i haven't been living under a rock.. perks of being late to watch literally everything lmfao #klaine #glee #neha writes

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yntcdtyler · 5 years

Text

so here’s my lover secret session’s story... 02/08/2019 london 🏹🇬🇧

i got my dm on twitter on july 16th at 5:15pm and i looked at it thinking someone was trying to boo boo the fool me and it was really gonna say something like “stream ME!” so i opened it not thinking much of it and my heart literally SANK when i saw it was actually REAL. i got the phone call 4 days after from a girl called sara who was from Taylor Nation, she told me everything and i was literally in the storage room in work crying.

so it’s finally august 2nd.. i got up at 5am cause i literally had 4 different trains and 2 ubers to catch, when i finally got to my hotel it was around 11am, i checked in and got ready and went to the meeting point. i was literally the first one there so i panicked thinking i was at the wrong place but more people started to show up and immediately everyone formed little friendship groups who they seemed to have stayed with the whole day which was insane. i met lisa and emma which i’d recognised from twitter because we’d been following each other for so long and then georgia, evie & shiv all came over and we all just bonded and instantly became friends and realised we we’re the brits of the group, there were SO many international fans and it was amazing seeing people come from all over the world! our group was first on the bus and i’m not sure why but we were literally all crying like wtf was going on?? we drove past a few ambulances thinking ‘that’s gonna be our ride home after tonight’ cause at this point i’m like dying and then we finally got to THE HOUSE.

we all go inside, the ME! playlist was on, there was a huge moose head on the wall which we all became really intrigued by, a huge mirror to see ourselves ugly crying, there was food & drinks and little m&m’s with ‘lover’ and hearts on them and i have no idea what was going on in my mind at this point, like i didn’t know what to expect.

so then we all go to the living room we’re there was a bunch of cushions on the floor and a chair and speakers in front of us and i KNEW what was about to go down lads, it’s about to happen, we’re about to hear lover and i just wasn’t ready and i was sat THERE in front of the chair and a few minutes later... SHE COMES OUT FROM BEHIND THIS DOOR LOOKING LIKE LIKE AN ACTUAL GODDESS THAT JUST STEPPED OUT OF HEAVEN AND I DEAD ASS DIED RIGHT THERE THINKING ABOUT THAT AMBULANCE I SAW EARLIER ON CAUSE SHE JUST WASNT REAL. so she’s like “welcome to the lover secret sessions” and the noise that came out me was actually not human at all. she played half the album the first and kept apologising for ranting and going off topic which was so funny, she’s so adorable i was literally in awe. then was like “we’re gonna take a break so you can all go the bathroom, have a drink and stretch your legs” and then mentions she’s made us treats and everyone’s like OMG and she’s literally like “it’s just rice crispy treats i dyed in heart shapes” and it was just the funniest thing bc she’s just so sarcastic but they were the cutest things and just knowing she spent time making them was honestly insane. like i ate a rice crispy heart treat..made by taylor swift? sounds fake. so then as she’s passing them around, she’s goes into the garden and starts talking to everyone and thanking people’s parents and let everyone on her trampoline and just shouts “THESE ARE MY KIDS” with a glass of wine in her hand and it was such a taylor swift moment. it was just surreal like wtf? imagine bouncing on taylor swifts trampoline? i would’ve went on it but i wasn’t about to break my neck before listening to the rest of the album x

okay so we go back in to listen to the rest of the album and throughout the whole album listening part, i just kept crying and she kept looking at me and smiling and singing and i was just bloody in shock. there was one point during a song we’re me and georgia we’re holding onto each other crying and she just looks at us and tilts her head and gives us the most warming smile. right there we both died together it was unreal. but the album HOLY SHIT every song was INSANE. i found it so hard to pick a favourite so i have 3, this album is literally her BEST, and this coming from a speak now stan🤝 i was just the happiest i’ve ever been, it just seemed like a dream. seeing her sat there in front of me so happy and in such a good place, feeling so proud of this album and these songs just made my heart feel so full. what i was feeling in that moment is unexplainable. just pure happiness like i knew life doesn’t get any better than this... right it’s time for the meet and greets and everyone goes back in to the other room whilst they got ready and people started queuing then to go in and meet her, she spent so much time with every single person and seeing everyone’s faces coming out that room was so magical. the event was supposed to be over at 11pm and it’s literally 1:30am when it was my time to meet her. she’d literally been meeting people for HOURS and is 2 and half hours past the end time and she didn’t even mind. everyone was so eager to go inside that me and the girls decided to wait till the end.

so evie had just come out and now it’s my turn. i almost fainted, i was so dizzy and nervous and WHEN I TELL U I WAS PETRIFIED TO GO INSIDE, I ACTUALLY MEAN IT BECAUSE I WAS STOOD OUTSIDE THE DOOR REFUSING TO GO IN FOR ABOUT A MINUTE CAUSE I COULD JUST SEE HER STOOD THERE AND I WASN’T READY BECAUSE LIKE I’VE DREAMT ABOUT THIS MOMENT SINCE FOREVER. emma and lisa we’re stood there laughing trying to force me inside as well as a girl from TN. took me a good minute but i finally walked in, i walk over to her trying not to cry AGAIN and she’s stood there smiling at me and she says to me “it’s tyler isn’t it?” and i was like JDJSKDJD “yeah 😭😭😭😭” cause i didn’t think she knew who i was and i was just randomly picked by TN??? she then pulled me in for the biggest hug and i just felt like this is it, i’m gonna bloody pass out. I TOLD HER THAT WAITING IN THAT QUEUE TO MEET HER WAS LIKE WAITING FOR THE ELECTRIC CHAIR and i was like why tf did i just say that omg but she laughed and was like “omg hahaha it’s like waiting for the electric chair that’s so funny” then i gave her the lover necklace i’d gotten made for her so we had matching and she kept saying how much she loved and how beautiful it was. then said “i love your necklace” with a little smirk because i was wearing her ‘TS’ initial necklace and my heart just went HDAJHDJDDH. then she asked did i enjoy the day and i was like of course??? it was so amazing i couldn’t stop crying and she was like “aw i had so much fun, i love doing these” and then she asked how i’d gotten here and i told her that i had to take 4 trains and she looked so shocked and thanked me for doing that and asked if i was travelling afterwards and i told her i had a hotel and she goes “omg good, PLEASE don’t talk to any strangers” and i’m just like YEAH OF COURSE ANYTHING FOR U MISS SWIFT :’)))) i hugged her about 3 more times and i asked her about tour, and how she found me and she said she’d found me on tumblr and literally said “its tylovestaylor right?” and i was just like WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK. IM SCARED. cause i barely use tumblr because i’m the only one who reblogs myself??? and i’d gotten my dm on twitter so my mind was like wtf is going on right now?? i told her i changed my url and she said she’d follow me 🥺 then says “so do you wanna like... take a picture together or something?” YEAH OF COURSE, IM A BIT OF A MESS RN BUT ABSOLUTELY. she asks what i wanted to do for the photo like stand, sit, go near the piano? and i told her to choose because my mind was just all over the place and she says to me “i think one sitting down with our legs crossed over acting all (then does some pose) and stuff” i just couldn’t believe what was actually happening. we sit down next to each other and she grabs my hand and i’m just holding her and the photographer takes the photo and she tells me to have a look to see if i like it and i said i looked so bad and she goes “ITS SO CUTE, YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL AND PHOTOGENIC” then the photographer told me i was really photogenic and tay goes “SEE SHE EVEN SAID IT” did taylor swift..who invented photos and beauty... just call me beautiful and photogenic? surely not. so we took one more pic and she said she loved it so i loved it😭😭😭 we got up and hugged again and i just kept saying i love you and she told me i was beautiful and i was like SO ARE U???? and then i told her that i still don’t believe she’s real and she laughed. we hugged again i told her i loved her as i was walking out she shouts “please get home safely” and i said “have a safe flight wherever you’re going next” at the same time and she laughed and was like “OMG THANKYOU?” and i walked out and the emotions i was going through oh my god. i’d just met my favourite person in the entire world? like never in a million years did i think i’d ever meet her let alone get handpicked for secret sessions. i was in so much shock like it wasn’t real. that never happened? i’m still in shock now and literally crying writing this. she was so lovely and welcoming and spoke to me like she’d known me forever.

AND AFTER ALL THAT, SHE DECIDES SHE WANTS ME LITERALLY DEAD AND LIKES MY POST ON HERE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. RIGHT AFTER I’D MET HER.

i couldn’t get over how beautiful she is, inside and out like i already knew that but seeing her in real life is so different, she’s literally flawless and so cute and delicate and i’ll literally die for this woman. thankyou so much, from the bottom of my heart @taylorswift for choosing me out of 100m+ fans, i’ll never understand why i was chosen but i can’t explain how grateful i am. it was by far the best day i’ve ever had in my 18 years of being alive, nothing will ever come close to that moment. i cant wait for everyone else to hear this album, i miss you and your hugs already and i forgot to tell you because my mind was blank but i’m insanely proud of you and will support you forever. promise.

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