#can you get those custom printed?
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
seonhee and sawashiro both being associated with purple's the most evil shit in the world now who the fuck am i supposed to put in my purple card holder
#snap chats#sorry guys im one of those girlies who are super into card holders now </3 esp the ones you can customize </3#highkey i got this cause i wanted to put my school id in it so i didnt have to take my wallet out every time i needed to get in my buildin#BUT ON THE LOWEST OF KEYS I GOT IT TO BE MENTALLY ILL TOO i was obsessed watchin people journal and make cute card holders#i dont get recc'd those vids anymore but i remember watchin em an bein like MAN i wanna do that.... thats so cute..#on the real i think card holder customizing's healthy for me. it helps me learn to use things i buy LMAO#CAUSE WITH STICKERS AND THE SORT I HOARD THEM AND NEVER USE EM#and i always get buyer's guilt even if it's something small so i just think. i have to learn letting go and things not being perfect is ok#YOU BOUGHT IT SO USE IT like those ishin colognes... like the scent'll fade anyway i should use them while i can...#as much fun and therapeutic I Think as this was tho i cant imagine having a need to get another card holder... tragedy..#regardless. this card holder's really cute </3 spoilers it's a kuromi one cause i needed more purple in my room i fuckin guess#the stickers were real cute.. also there was a lil baku... hi baku <3#which leads me back to my problem. '''''''problem''''''' yeah i dont even have a printer here but when i go back to my ma's i wanna be sick#walmart lets you get photos on that GLOSSY PAPER... tempted... anyway no listen to my non problems#cause in my heart i do associate kuromi with seonhee alright it just makes sense. PLUS baku and joon-gi#COUNTERPOINT. HOWEVER. there is no image funnier than slapping a depressed middle aged man who prob has a worryin body count#into a card holder decorated with hearts and sweets and bows with a big ass heart keychain danglin off it. like cmon#big brain move is to print out one pic each of em and just swap em out every other day LOOOL#i just want an excuse to show off the card holder.. i get why people have these now this was fun and cute....#ok bye i think ive been ill enough tonight#i thought i was gonna finish another comm but â ď¸ ill just do them tomorrow morning they wont take long..
11 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Going on yet another rant about âmerchâ
If you did not screen print that shirt yourself, you did not make it.
You made the design on it, which Iâm sure would be a nice poster or sticker perhaps? Which of course you didn't print yourself, that sounds hard! An embroidered design? Maintaining a 12 needle embroidery machine capable of producing a design with that many colors for the number of orders being received is a lot of work, that's pretty impressive! Not to mention maintaining proper tension on the frame working with a hundred stretchy t shirts, which idk came from somewhere who knows! Your repeating pattern looks very nice on a skirt that you did not make and was mass produced by some Vietnamese person getting paid pennies so that ~50 gay people on the internet could pay for international shipping for a design you âmadeâ. Wow that mug is awesome didnât know you got into sublimation printing! And have a cylindrical heat press to be able to do not just mugs, but tumblers too! Woah your sublimation set up can do bed sheets (any size)? And shower curtains? And three different shapes of throw pillow stuffed with poly fill, which will never decompose and isn't comfortable to begin with?
Your poorly digitized vector art looks lovely as an enamel pin now that someone else (Who? More like who cares!) cleaned it up for you and then created moulds for and maybe even hand injected the enamel into only for you to sell maybe seven or eight of them. Aw damn your design got ripped off? Who could have guessed that with the distribution power of an entire manufacturing plafffnt that has hundreds, if not thousands of moulds sitting around that they might have used your mould to make themselves a profit for a change! Those money grubbing Chinese bastards! After all, you were there every step of the way, casting the negative of the mould, running the injection of liquid metal into that mould, mixing each color of enamel, and precisely filling each segment of the design, which you refused to simplify! You just can't compromise with art.
Ohhh I see theyâre made to order so its more sustainable. So this factory (Guatemala? India? The Philippines? Pakistan? Could you point to it on a map? They just don't teach you this stuff in school!) Anyways this factory in some poor country has to keep your design on file, oh and for your enamel pins they have to keep the mould too! Ahh right but itâs sustainable, because it's a limited run. Youâre the 100th person this week to place an order, and they're only printing 50 of your design, you should complain to the manufacturer about how slow your orders are being filled.
I love supporting small businesses - itâs just you after all! With all the hard work youâve put into fiddling around in procreate who has time to figure out material acquisition, and production runs, and printer calibration, and inventory management, and machine maintenance, and payment processing, and international shipping, and packaging, and
#eaii#accidentally clicked on someones redbubble and they call it that because i started seeing red#i'm so fucking sick of this shit#look i think its great that people have more avenues to sell their art#but idk i feel like i'm crazy for thinking that should actually involve MAKING the art that they sell#the upfront investment is prohibitive I get it#but then connect with someone#preferably who lives on the same continent as you#to produce it locally#and like. a printer capable of printing nice stickers and posters is not like heavy duty machinery#again#expensive - sure#but i can almost guarantee that someone living in your city has a wide format printer they'd be willing to let you use#i make custom embroidered patches#im in the middle of building my own embroidery machine. obviously you do not have to do this#the machines that i use currently i borrow time on from someone else#'where do you get cute packaging?' i have brown paper envelopes that i decorate with washi tape and stamps which people seem to like#'how do you calculate shipping?' i don't usps does that for me#'what happens if an order gets lost?' it sucks and is inconvenient but i send them another one or refund their choice#'where do you get materials?' scrap fabric almost 100% of the time unless its a very custom order i spend very little on materials#i'm not asking anyone to reinvent payment services or whatever like if you want to use your neighbors printer and then sell those on etsy#great! thats what i do!#(and also fuck etsy - for different reasons)#but if you outsource the actual labor of producing the good that you are selling to easily exploitable people on the other side of the worl#im judging you. hard.
2 notes
¡
View notes
Text
me everytime I am preparing a meal with multiple elements I have to balance so they all finish cooking at the same time: Wow this is just like the 2009 hit Nintendo Wii game 'Food Network: Cook Or Be Cooked'
#or like if I'm making two things and one finishes cooking before the other and has to sit there and get cold#in my brain it's always like 'tsk tsk.. they would deduct points from my score for that' hjhjb#one of those instances of game mechanics imprinting onto your brain. kind of like imagining sims interaction moodlets in irl conversations#i LOVE the game though it's so fun. I've never even heard of it before I just found it by the dumpster in a box of other old wii#games someone was apparently discarding and picked it up due to my interest in cooking shows and stuff#I like having to time things and all the little actions you can do. though sad that there's so little recipes#you can unlock the whole game in like a day or something. I think if I had more time and social energy to actually talk in forums or be par#of a 'community' - I think looking into the type of stuff where people mod wii games and etc. would be very very cool#Wii is my favorite console and so much of the time I am always like 'grrr.. they dont make new games.. and this one game is very cool#but imagine if these 5 improvments were made to it! it would be SO much cooler!' etc.#Like being able to download new custom recipes/levels for Cook or Be Cooked lol#Modding wii sports resort the same way that some people mod skyrim and build entirely new games out of it#with new quests and etc. Like just.. create your own sports.. RPG mode.. use the already existing archery assets and etc. to have a mode#where you can just free roam around the map shooting at enemies and stuff ghhjbjh#WHICH I WOULD LOVE DEARLY..#I dont realyl like combat in games but idk I'd make an exception.. whatever.. I just want to play more in the Wii World#I have the soul of one of those people who builds all their own computers and 3D prints custom frames to transplant their 3DS into and#has like all special 'hacked' phones and wii mods and customizes everything and etc. etc. like.. 100% my exact personality and preferences#HOWEVER I just simply do not have the money or physical energy/time to get onto projects like that#The best I can hope for is one day having a close friend who does that so I can maybe use their 3D printer every once in a while or we both#collaborate on some wii modding project or etc. but I just couldn't on my own.. I already have too much stuff going on.. Have to make#compromises due to lack of money + low energy + busy. Like I could never build my own phone. I could save up for a teracube phone#or something so it's better and more repairable than all these dumbass modern phones you cant even take the backs off of. but that's probab#y the best I could do lol. ANYWAY.. Especially wii customization. I could get really into that.. I saw a picture one time of someone who#made like a semi transparent case for theirs kind of like the famous purplish see through gameboy color case but for a wii.. which is.. aAA#yearning crying sobbing etc. etc. so on and so forth
7 notes
¡
View notes
Note
You're really awesome
PROBLEM: I want to make magic decks with my cards irl, but I have no one to play them against.
SOLUTION: Make an entire custom deck that can play itself to more or less replicate an opponent.
I decided to put the rules in card form as conspiracy cards, but it turns out that rules should be written as rules, not cards, so I had to make extensive notes about each of them (except Industrial Expansion, that one is actually effects instead of rules). I also just enjoy talking about my design choices.
Notes: Creating waste tokens instead of playing lands is basically free card advantage, as well as preventing mana screw/flood. The bot is supposed to have more raw strength than the player, so this isnât a huge problem, but the starting hand size reduction and 5 land limit are still needed balance it.
Also, I know wastes isnât actually a basic land type, but it makes the card so much cleaner so "Wastes token" is a predefined token here just like Treasure and Food.
Notes: Thereâs probably some awkward edge cases here too. I fixed the only one I could find (involving Recycle Bin), but there might be more. The main guiding rule in playing the bot is "donât make it do obviously dumb stuff." The cards are balanced around the rigid rules, so bad decisions are okay, but sometimes there are plays that are so worthless or actively counterproductive that you really ought to step in. Edge cases should be resolved in whatever way makes the bot play best. Ideally, you shouldnât have to think too hard about what the bot does; itâs supposed to be automatic, after all. The other guiding rule is "make this similar to a normal game of Magic."
Notes: Much, much simpler than Defense Protocol. Still some vagueness, but good enough to prevent swinging into the opponentâs 4/4 with a 3/3. It applies on a creature-by-creature basis; if you have a 3/3 with flying and a 2/1, and your opponent has a 4/4, the 2/1 wonât attack, but the 3/3 will. If you have a 2/1 and a 5/4, only the 5/4 will attack since the 2/1 can be fully blocked by the 4/4.Non-lethal battles are tricky; if you have a 2/1 and the opponent has a 0/3, you shouldnât attack because then youâre just tapping down your 2/1. But if you have a pair of 2/1s, you should attack for the free damage. You could reinterpret the "such that they lose no life" bit, but that would result in the rules telling you to swing your creatures into into a 4/4. Basically, use your best judgement; this stuff is too complicated to write out. Youâre smart enough.
Notes:
This card would be a fucking nightmare to properly template. Good thing itâs a rule and not actually a card. The vague wording can probably result in lots of edge cases, but this card is basically meant to say "The bot makes the best blocks possible" so use your best judgement in those cases. Activated abilities that boost a creature should be taken into account if mana is open for them. A version of the blocking rules not in card form is given below.
Priority 1: If you can block in such a way that your life total remains above 0, you must do so.
Priority 2: If a blocker can deal lethal damage to an attacker and survive, it must block that creature.
Priority 3: If a blocker can deal lethal damage to an attacker, or if it can survive, it must block that creature.
Priority 4: Donât block.
Misc 1: If multiple attackers are tied for the highest block priority, the blocker must block the creature with the highest power. If tied, highest toughness, then highest mana value, then choose randomly.
Misc 2: Multi-block an attacker only if it has menace or a similar ability, only with the minimum number of blockers, and only if it falls under a blocking priority (ex. itâs threatening to win the game, or it can be destroyed, or both your blockers survive). Anything else could be a nightmare to calculate.
And that's all the rules/conspiracies, which should allow for playing against the bot while making as few decisions as possible. Here's the cards. The bot's deck consists of 4 copies of each card for a clean 60 deck, compatible for testing against mill.
#asks#custom cards#is this properly balanced? i have no idea#i don't even know how powerful my irl decks are#this once again suffers from the problem of me not bothering to actually print out and playtest my stuff#in hindsight i should've come up with some way of adjusting the difficulty#and then designed the cards around that#maybe an ability word like âhard mode -- this creature gets +1/+1â#or a couple conspiracies that shift it up or down#instead i just made all the cards somewhat overpowered to compensate for the stupidity and lack of synergy#good thing i haven't printed it yet lol#also it has a robot theme because mindless robots obeying their programming fit the idea#but they aren't artifact creatures because that would make artifact removal disproportionately strong#i made sure to put an artifact and an enchantment in to make sure that artifact/enchantment removal is useful#i also put design notes on some of the noncreature cards#i can share those if you want lol#also i just noticed the 4-drop creatures are kinda weak#changing them to a 6/4 and 4/5 to make sure they can do their jobs#there's been a few PvE formats in mtg but none that try to replicate a real game of magic#i wanted a format you could play a normal deck against and have it be sort of realistic
3 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Things are bad right now.
As many of you know, way back in 2020 we werenât sure if our business was gonna make it. Our factory was already on break for Lunar New Yearâa month-long holiday for many businesses in the areaâand with the announcement of COVID19, everything shut down indefinitely. We knew immediately we were in for a bad time. Despite our fears, our sales grew so far beyond anything we ever expected, to the point where we had to hire two employees just to keep up with demand!Â
Unfortunately, even after our factory reopened, our problems were not over. Their quality drastically declined almost immediately, to the point that a significant amount of our fabric would literally fall apart in transit between the factory and our office. Because of this, we discovered that our sales rep had no idea what she was doing and knew nothing about the factory she was representing, so when we told her the fabric was garbage her response was âđ factory said itâs good!â At the beginning, only roughly 10% of our new product was defective and we were able to sell the affected items with a reasonable discount. By the end of our relationship with that factory, 40% of our midi skirts and 70% of our miniskirts were defective, some affected so severely that they practically fell apart when touched. And still, our rep said everything was fine and there were no problems and the fabric composition had not changed.
So in 2022 we changed factories. We hired Ash to handle this since I was way too busy managing fulfillment to do the amount of research and communication necessary to find us a factory that met our criteria. Finding clothing factories that can make clothing over a size 2-3X is significantly more difficult than one that canât because it often requires larger and more expensive machinery. But Ash did it: she got us set up with a new factory that has excellent certifications for both their labor practices and their methods for textile production, that delivers consistent, high quality sewing on well made fabric that can be printed without suffering loss in detailâand she was armored with the knowledge for what makes a quality garment so she could check them if they tried to screw us on quality. Their minimum orders were way higher than our previous factoryâs, so we decided to focus on ordering more units of fewer designs. We ordered way too much our first roundâsome of those designs were in stock until the 2024 blowout sale! But it worked out, and slowly we had a warehouse full of stuff to sell.
Fast forward to 2024, business is slowing down between the economy being bad and what seemed to be a general skirt fatigue amongst our customers. We tried expanding into shirts, which wouldâve been successful if our minimums were lower. In the late spring we realized we were in trouble if we didnât make drastic changes and we ultimately decided to end in-house fulfillment and transfer to a third party fulfillment center that would support domestic shipping in Canada and eventually the UK, EU, and Australia. In order to make that transition affordable we drastically discounted everything and that sale was super successful! We were able to begin shipping from the fulfillment center with an almost clean slate, even if it did mean having to close the store for almost two months and thereby missing out on two very important months of sales.
Unfortunately, we were stupid. We continued to order new designs on an every other month schedule instead of switching to an every month schedule, forgetting that having a backstock in a variety of designs is what previously helped us float between orders and now we quite literally didnât have enough inventory to match the sales we made for last yearâs holiday sale.
That brings us to now.
Weâre a little stuck. We have a round of skirts in production (yay!) but they wonât get here until February (boo!). To get back on that monthly cycle we would need to order the next round of skirts right now, but we canât pay for production until that next round of skirts gets here; if the current sale goes well, itâs paying payroll, not production. We are currently in the very difficult, horrible situation of not having enough money for next monthâs payroll unless we are somehow able to make significant sales with our very sparse inventory.
Weâre scrappy and we do our best to adapt to disasters and Iâm sure weâll find a way to adapt to this one as well, itâll just take us some time to get there. Basically weâre going to be okay eventuallyâhopefully later this yearâbut in the meantime if we seem frantic, now you know why.Â
If youâre been considering trying out our viscose shirts but havenât been able to justify paying full price, theyâre on clearance PLUS half off right now! Thatâs $9-$15 for the viscose tops, and other tops on clearance are $20-$45. Some of the shirts weâre having a LOT of trouble selling are now priced below cost to help us recoup some of the money we spent making them.
Any amount of support helps right now. Sharing posts, telling your friends, buying a $9 shirtâall of it helps. If our clothing isnât your thing, we also have a Patreon you can support for as little as $1 a month. https://www.patreon.com/mayakern
Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you have a great rest of your day and that 2025 is a brighter, kinder year for us all.
6K notes
¡
View notes
Text
How to Shop at an Asian (or other ethnic) Grocery Store
Do you live in or near a city in the US?
Need to save some money on groceries?
Might I introduce you to... shopping at the local Asian grocery?
Asian grocery stores aimed at an Asian-American customer base almost always beat the prices of their western (or for-western) counterparts. Often by a significant amount, especially in categories like produce, meat, rice, and spices. Plus in addition to lower prices, you get the satisfaction of supporting a small, local business instead of a larger chain store.
(Note that a lot of this information applies to other ethnic grocery stores as well, but we're using Asian because they're common in many cities, and have particularly good prices on produce.)
But it can be a little bit of a learning curve when you first start to shop at them. This post will give you the information you need to navigate them.
So how do you find a good Asian grocery store?
First, go on google maps and search "grocery".
Note that you are NOT googling "Asian Grocery" or "Cheap Grocery". If you search "Asian Grocery" you will get results for Asian stores marketing toward a western audience, and because of this, will be neat, shiny, and very pricey. If you search "Cheap Grocery" you will get stores marketing themselves as cheap, which generally are only slightly less expensive than their "expensive" counterparts (think Aldi). Okay in a pinch, but you can do better.
Second, look at the pictures of all the stores you can easily get to.
Here's what you want: not a lot of printed ads, pictures of hand-written signs (especially in languages other than English), food in cardboard bins, and you want it to look kind of "junky". Bonus points if you can see prices listed in the pictures or the people shopping there are mostly older, ethnic women.
Third, If you couldn't find anything like this, go on your city's subreddit.
Search "cheap", "cheap grocery" and "expensive grocery". Why "expensive grocery"? Because you want to find people complaining about grocery prices, and you want to see the advice they get. Many times, that advice is Asian or ethnic grocery stores.
If you're still not getting anything, google "[city name] cheap grocery" and "[city name] expensive grocery" (see above). Scroll until you get to FORUMS discussing groceries in your city. You DO NOT want blogs or articles. Again, you're looking at the advice people are given when they complain about grocery prices.
One of the first questions people ask upon walking into an Asian grocery store of the type discussed in this post is:
"Is the food I'm getting here safe to eat?"
The answer is just as safe as anywhere else you might shop.
You're probably used to very clean, pretty, well-lit, well-organized stores. This will probably not be that, but it will be regulated by the same health department that regulates those stores. They are held to the same standards.
It's a lot of work to keep a store looking like a western consumer expects. It's a lot less work (and thus less money) to keep a store looking like an ethnic career housewife or grandmother expects. That is largely where the savings comes from.
What's a good deal at an Asian grocery?
Produce. You're probably used to things like onions and carrots being the cheapest per pound. Here it's going to be greens, apples, pears, radish, cabbage and maybe squash and sweet potatoes. Check unit prices and prepare to try some new things. Also a pound of greens is a LOT of greens. Keep that in mind. Also keep in mind that you might see a few pieces of produce that are bruised or have mold on them. That's okay. Just don't buy those pieces. The rest of the batch is probably fine. Wash produce when you get home if you're concerned, though you should be doing that anyway.
Rice and dry beans. If you like to buy in bulk, you're in luck. Don't expect to walk away with a pound or two of these. They come in 40lb packages. But if you tailor most of your meals around them, those meals will be cheap af. There are also lots of different types of specialty rice if you want to make your own sushi or mochi. Learn how to soak and sprout beans.
Tofu. Tofu is expensive when you buy it at a health food store. It is not when you buy it at an Asian grocery. It probably won't be in pretty packages, but again, cheap is not going to be super pretty.
Meat and fish. Meat is generally going to be cheaper here, though maybe not by as much as the produce is. Pork will probably be your cheapest option. You may also see cuts you don't normally see, like tongue, intestine, liver, kidneys, blood, etc... "Weird," however, does not automatically mean cheap in this context. Check unit prices and prepare to be adventurous. If you don't know what else to do with them, dried fish and animal organs make fantastic stock when boiled.
Spices. Again with the extremely large quantities here. But very inexpensive compared with their western counterparts.
Candy. This makes a great inexpensive gift if you need one, since the candy sold at these stores is fairly exotic for a western audience.
What isn't a good deal at an Asian grocery?
Dairy. This includes fresh milk, butter, cheese, etc... If they have it, it will be very expensive. Consider buying elsewhere.
Eggs. Again, this will probably be as expensive or more than the eggs you could get at a western supermarket.
Snacks. Pre-made items will be expensive in general, even though they may be tempting because they are different from what you are used to and you don't need to learn to cook a new thing. Do your best to avoid these and make your own if you can. If you can't, frozen pork or vegetable dumplings are probably your best bet for a quick meal.
Bread. It's pricey. A lot of Asian cuisines use rice, noodles, or buns for their starch instead of western-style bread. So if you can find it it will often be a novelty item.
What else do I need to know?
It's okay to be overwhelmed by new ingredients. Look up some YouTube videos on how to cook certain ingredients if you're not familiar with them.
These are not supermarkets. They sell food and sometimes the kitchenware (steamers, woks, chopsticks, etc...) needed to cook it. You will probably need to get your soap and household items somewhere else.
Pay in cash if you can. Most of these are very small businesses and paying them cash makes it so they don't need to pay credit card fees. At the very least, make the minimum purchase before paying with a card.
3K notes
¡
View notes
Text
bruh i was talking to my friends about our types in guys and i said "i like boyfailures, absolute losers" and rambled about how they were just so cute and I'd be going 'yeah that's cool babe, tell me more about your pokemon and dinosaursâşď¸' but then later on in the dsy i realised bro what if i AM the loser and someone thought of me like that đľ therefore i give you yandere! golden boy x loser! reader
basically you're a loser who doesn't think they're a loser. you're the type of loser who talks a lot of shit online about how đđđđđ and hot you are when in reality you can't order a meal without hyping yourself up for 5 minutes beforehand.
you'd be pretending you're hot and mysterious but the second someone indicates the SMALLEST hint of anything you're interested in, you go on full on rambles and rants. then you snap back to reality and realize that hey! you don't even know this stranger! and just... walk away.
you're the type of person to go to the doctor with your mommy because you're scared to talk to doctors yourself and you'll look at her when the doctor asks any question, expecing her to answer for you. 'so what's your name? looks at mother' ahhh reaction.
yeah. basically, a loser. with hyperfixations on anime/game characters that you consume millions of content of. you probably sleep with plushies too and read fanfiction before sleeping. or you're doomscrolling reddit/tiktok/some form of social media and sleeping at 3 in the morning.
enter, him.
the golden boy. the perfect boy with perfect grades and a perfect body and- basically everything. he does like 3 sports, speaks 5 languages, everyone loves him, he graduated from an ivy league or an ivy league equivalent, and he's going to inherit his father's company! rich, tall, handsome. he has everything set out for him. cool beans.
anyway!
you don't know how, and you don't know why, but this man is now in love with you. you... probably met him while working your minimum wage job at some fast food restaurant.
"hi, i think you're really cute. would you like to go out on a date with me?"
"h-huh? erm..."
yeah, you don't know how to react so you just malfunctioned briefly before taking another customer's order. but he wouldn't let up. not at all, because he'd find your socials and have HOURS of conversation with you, on total accident, of course! no dirty work involved. totally. just pure coincidence, just like god or whatever is above intended!
"heh, must be my aura that allowed me to get that limited edition skin... what do you think, best friend?"
"yeah, this is the one guys. I'm marrying them."
"what did you say, best friend?"
"oh, nothing at all âşď¸ go on with your rant, sweetie."
by some stroke of luck, definitely not him pulling some strings, you get a job offer that somehow is related to- wow, what do you know! his company! so you leave your boring 9-5 job and sign the contract. what a nice friend he is!
"here, just sign down on the line and you'll be able to start working right away."
"wow this contract is really long, best friend."
"haha... right, I'm definitely just a best friend..."
a contract that definitely does NOT bind you to him. yeah, no, definitely not. nuh uh. what? you're trying to read the fine print? there's no need for that! it's all just boring stuff...
yeah, definitely no conditions that will allow him to legally keep you trapped with him... and should you ever try to leave. well, it's just not possible.
but hey! at least now you get endless cash and you even have this cool best friend who really seems to spoil you!
oh, and now he's asking to be your boyfriend.
"sorry, you're not my type... i like the losers. boyfailures, even."
"sweetie..."
..
...
yeah, so now you're dating. it's all cool. yeah, you... totally don't mind this.
"best friend can we get some chicken nuggets? i really want some chicken nuggets and fries, best friend."
"it's boyfriend, sweetie. but of course! anything you want âşď¸ we can get those chicken nuggets and more if you want."
okay well, at least it's not that bad... he's rich and handsome, he spoils you and loves you! like those guys in fanfiction, right? maybe a little too much though.
"sweetie, I'm throwing away all your merchandise of this man thing, okay? I'm replacing it with merchandise of me."
"don't tell me you're already throwing it away..."
"âşď¸"
"we're OVER."
#yandere#tw yandere#yandere x reader#yandere drabbles#yandere scenarios#yandere imagines#yandere concepts#yandere golden boy#yandere golden boy x reader#gn reader#suiana rambling#suiana brainrotting
1K notes
¡
View notes
Text
Break?
So I just wanted to let everyone know that I might be taking a break from making art for a bit. I still want to continue my Drawing My Reads challenge until the end of the year. But I've hit a bit of a road bump in my art lately. If you follow me on TikTok or read my tags, then you probably already know.
The good news is that I'm staying positive about it. I've been doing this long enough now to know this is just part of the creative process. Like a little inchworm, my ability to perceive and imagine has jumped ahead of my skills. So I just need some time to catch up. To level up, if you will.
Unfortunately, the bad news is that it's incredibly frustrating. I've been trying to just power through it and push myself to make art anyway. And I'm proud of the work I was able to do during that time! But I think I've just finally hit the wall and don't really know how to push forward.
Especially since I have SO MANY IDEAS AND PLANS FOR FUTURE PROJECTS. I promise the issue is not motivation or ideas. I have that in spades. I just can't seem to get my skills and brain to align with each other. It's frustrating but a necessary part of the process.
That being said, I'm not calling it quits or taking real time off from making things. I'm just taking some time off posting things. I do still want to continue my challenge and start my upcoming projects. But I realize I can't get them done if I don't push through this. And right now, I don't think the best way to push through is to force myself to work on those things.
So I'm going to take this time to do studies and practice drawings. I'm just going to be sketching, experimenting, trying out new things and hopefully finding my "voice" again. I just don't know how long that's going to take.
Anyway, I'm planning on some exciting things in the future. I'm really eager to get to work on them. I've just been unhappy with the things I've created lately. And I need time to puzzle those issues out before I can jump into these projects again.
Like I said, I'm not sure how long this will take. I'll still be drawing in the meantime. So I might disappear for a bit but I also might be so active you don't even notice. Not sure. I just want to take the pressure off a bit.
Anyway, thanks for reading and your continued support! I can't thank everyone enough for all the positive feedback I've gotten during this current project. It's been fun being able to combine my love of reading with my art. It's a project I'd like to carry over into the next year. But I might do things a bit differently.
Thanks again!
Tawni
#long post#some thoughts#possible break#drawing my reads#this may not even be a big deal#i just finished a very secret society of irregular witches#and i already know exactly how i want to draw mika#i just also recognize that i've been struggling through the last few character portraits#and i want to focus more on studies than completed drawings#and i'm so excited for upcoming projects#but i want them to be good#i don't want them to be half assed ''i forced myself to finish this'' kinds of projects#it just sucks that it had to happen now since I'm trying to prep for this year's witchy coloring book#also i know i've been neglecting my etsy shop#i'm waiting until friday when i get paid to relist some of my products#i'm trying to prep for the holiday season#so if you guys want any printables please let meknow#i'm also willing to sell some of my book fan art#i just have to be careful with how I list it#so i might do a ''custom print'' listing that you guys can use to buy those#i'm still not sur e how to go about it#but in the meantime i want to power through this block#also my keyboard is having issues and I've given up on editing them sorry
0 notes
Note
So why do you hate the advertising industry?
Hokay so.
Let me preface this with some personal history. It's not relevant to the sins of the advertising industry perse but it illustrates how I started to grow to hate it.
I wanted to be a veterinarian growing up, but to be a vet you basically have to be good enough to get into medical school. I do not have the math chops or discipline to make it in medical school. I went into art instead, and in a desperate attempt to find some commercial viability that didn't involve moving to California, I went into graphic design.
I've been a graphic designer for about seven or eight years now and I've worn a lot of hats. One of them was working in a print shop. Now, the print shop had a lot of corporate customers who had various ad campaigns. One of them was Gate City Bank, which had a bigass stack of postcards ordered every couple months to mail to their customers.
Now, paper comes from Dakota Paper, and they make their paper the usual way. Somewhere far, far from our treeless plain there is a forest of tall trees. These trees are cut down and put on big fossil fuel burning trucks and hauled to a paper mill that turns them into pulp while spewing the most fowl odors imaginable over the neighboring town and loads the pulp up with bleach to give it a nice white color.
Then the paper is put on yet another big truck and hauled off to the local paper depot, then put on another big truck and delivered to my print shop, where I turned the paper into postcards telling people to go even deeper into debt to buy a boat because it's almost summer. The inks used are a type of nasty heat sensitive plastic that is melted to the surface of the paper with heat. Then the postcards are put on yet ANOTHER truck and sent to the bank, which puts them on ANOTHER truck and finally into the hands of their customers, who open their mail and take one look at the post card and immediately discard it.
Heaps and heaps and literal hundreds of pounds of literal garbage created at the whim of the marketing team several times a year. And thats just one bank in one city.
I came to realize very quickly that graphic design was the delicate art of turning trees into junk mail.
And wouldn't you know it there are a TON of companies that basically only do junk mail. Many of them operate under the guise of a "charity," sending you pictures of suffering children or animals and begging for handouts and when they get those handouts the executives take a nice fat cut, give some small token amount to whatever cause they pay lip service to, and then put the rest of the cash right back into making more mailers. "Direct mail marketing" they call it.
Oh but maybe it's not so bad, you can advertise online after all. Now that there's decent ad blocker out there and better anti-virus ads usually don't destroy your computer anymore just by existing.
Except now when I search for the exact business I want on Google it's buried under three or four different "promoted search items" tricking me into clicking on them only to shoot themselves in the foot because I searched for the specific result I wanted for a reason and couldn't use those other websites even if I felt like it.
And now we have advertising on YouTube and on every streaming service, forcing more and more eyes onto the ad for the brand new Buick Envision that parks itself because you're too stupid to do it on your own.
Oh thats ok maybe I'll get Spotify premium and go ad free and listen to some podcasts- SIKE we have the hosts of your show doing the song and dance now. Are you depressed and paranoid from listening to my true crime podcast about murdered and mutilated teenagers? That's ok, my sponsor Better Help can keep you sane enough to stay alive and spend more money.
It's gotten so terrible that now you have content farms, huge hubs of shell companies that crank out video after video to get more and more precious clicks. Which if the videos were innocuous maybe that wouldn't be so awful except now you have cooking hacks that can actually burn your house down and craft hacks that can electrocute you being flung into your eyes at the speed of mach fuck so some slimy internet clickbait jockey doesn't need to get a real job.
It of course goes without saying that animals are also relentlessly exploited by clickbait companies that will put them in compromising situations on purpose to create a fake fishing hack video or even just straight up killing them for sport by feeding small animals to a pufferfish that rips them apart for the camera.
And all of this, ALL of this doesn't even touch how adveritising is the death of art in general. Queer topics, any kind of interesting art, any kind of sex or substance use topics are scrubbed clean and hidden at the behest of advertisers.
Sex education, a nude statue, topics such as racism or sexism or bigotry in general have tags purged or hidden from search, even life saving information about SDTs or drug use, because if someone saw that and complained then Verizon might sell fewer tablets and we can't fucking have that.
Conservative talking heads often bitch and moan that they're being censored on social media. The stupid part is, they're right! They are being censored! But it's not by a woke mob, it's by ATT and Coca Cola not wanting their adspace sharing screen time with their stupid fucking opinions.
However, they won't ever figure that out, because the talking heads they get their marching orders from like Tucker and Jones ALSO rely on the sweet milk flowing from the sponsorship teat and they aren't about to turn on their meal ticket so they have to come up with even stupider shit to say for the train to continue rolling.
I managed to rant this far without even getting into the ads I see for the beauty industry. The other day a botox ad described wrinkles as "moderate to severe crows feet" as if wrinkles are a symptom of a fucking serious disease! Like having a flaw in your skin is a medical problem that you need thousands of dollars of literal botulism toxin to fix! I was incandescent with anger.
Advertising is a polluting, censoring, anti educational and anti art industry at it's very core. It destroys human connections, suppresses human thought and makes us hate our own bodies. It ads no value, actively detracts from value, and serves no real purpose and I believe it should be almost if not entirely banned.
23K notes
¡
View notes
Text
ON YOUR COLLAR
old man!logan howlett x fem!reader
cw: smut, logan has a bit of a pain kink, slightly jealous/possesive reader
masterlist
every time âwithout failâ you manage to leave a lipstick print on the collar of logan's white button down as he heads out the door for work. painted in all shades of pinks, reds, and brown; logan couldn't escape your lips even if he tried.
"can't have any of those customers thinking that a handsome man like you is single." you tell him, before pressing the white material to your lips.
logan never would've picture you being the more possessive one in the relationship but he sure enjoyed it. he can't stare at the lipstick stain for too long while working or else he will get unbearably hard and have to relieve himself in the back of the limo once everyone's gone.
"they don't want an old man like me." logan jokes as you place an extra kiss mark on his pulse point.
"good." you whisper into his ear, pushing him down on the bed. "because you're my old man. not theirs."
logan had to go soon but he couldn't resist your touch. fingers popping open buttons and snaking their way down his toned stomach. your eyes were darker than usual; clouded with lust. logan wasn't one to be take orders in bed but there was something about your dominating attitude that made his pants tighter.
"you're mine. isn't that right, baby?" you smile up at him.
"y-you already know that answer." logan huffs, not wanting to cave.
"c'mon, lo..." the sound of your giggles also cause a moan to slip from his lips. "entertain me."
your hand slips under his black trousers. logan sucks in sharp breath, letting his head fall back against the silk sheets. you free him from the tight restraints of his pants, slowly stroking him. in a rush of need, he chases after your lips.
"i'm waiting..."
logan always gave into your antics. sometimes it took him longer to come around but he would never leave you hanging.
your lips press kisses to his throat and down his chest. the lower your head went, the closer logan was to telling you exactly what you wanted to hear.
"i-i'm yours, honey." he stutters, hips thrusting softly for your touch.
you smile up at him, placing a kiss on the head before sitting up to straddle him and lifting up your dress. carefully, sliding him through your slit a couple time and letting the tip bump your clit.
"c'mon, sweets." logan whines, thrusting his hips up until he's able to slip inside. "gotta leave soon."
"s-shit, can feel you everywhere, lo." you purr, grabbing his left hand and placing it on your lower tummy. "especially, right here."
logan could cum from just feeling the bulge of himself inside of you. the urge became even harder when you started swirling your hips, bouncing lightly at first. not nearly going fast enough for his liking. too busy leaving a trail of red kisses behind; marking your territory.
answering his prayers, you finally pick up the pace.
"fuck," he curses under his breath as your teeth sink into his shoulder. you can feel him twitch inside of you at the pain.
"when were you gonna tell me that you gotta thing for pain, baby?" you ask, pulling back to tease him.
not even hesitating, logan wraps a fist in your hair, pulling it just the way you liked. you gasp at the action and he can feel you clench down on him, sucking him in deliciously. your nails dig into his bicep, leaving behind small crescent-moon shapes.
"hush," logan hisses, gaining back control.
the closer you teetered towards the edge, the more willingly you complied with him. you didn't have much of a choice as he repeatedly hit the sweet spot inside of you.
"c-close." you whimper.
logan nods, bringing his thumb up to your lips for you to suck on before lowering it to rub your button. it didn't take long for your orgasm to wash over your body, trigger logan's release as well.
within seconds, you collapse onto his chest, panting and sore. logan holds you closer as he checks the time.
"i gotta go, sweetheart." he says, carefully slipping out of you and rolling you over.
"wish you could stay." you pout as he covers you.
"i do too, but ill be back tonight."
you watch him get redressed, happy with your lips on his collar still. always with him.
"get some rest, you'll need it later." he smirks, walking out the door and listening to your heartbeat increase with excitement.
#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#logan howlett#james logan howlett#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine#logan howlett smut#wolverine smut#hugh jackman wolverine#wolverine angst#logan howlett angst#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett fanfiction#logan x reader#logan wolverine#old man logan#old man logan x reader#old man!logan#hugh jackman#wolverine fluff#wolverine one shot#wolverine x oc#marvel cinematic universe#marvel#mcu#marvel mcu#wolverine x you#x men comics#x men#x men oc
1K notes
¡
View notes
Text
PINK BOWS | NANAMI KENTO
syn. your boyfriend is scared of intimacy, but for all the reasons you never expected.
ââ virgin!nanami kento & fem-bodied!reader, established relationship, panty kink, masturbation, sexual fantasies, accidental vouyerism, etc | 3.1k words ( minors, ageless & blank blogs : do not interact )
note. a fic i found in drafts that i never got around to posting.
Nanami had been raised to value his future career-wise over all else. Taking his parentsâ teachings to heart, he solely focused on his career, making sure that he followed the path to becoming someone who was financially stable and didnât need to stress over bills and obligations. However, that seemed to be the only merit to itâ not having to worry and being able to live a lavish life. They didnât mention the exhaustion he would experience, putting excruciating hours in working behind a desk. They didnât tell him how robotic it would feel to wake up for most days to get ready, go to work, and come back home at late hours to only eat takeout and fall straight to sleep.Â
Barely a social life because all of his friends and the people close to him are always busy and when they do have the time, he unfortunately doesnât. It was such a period of lonesomeness for Nanami, surviving but never really living. It wasnât until a rare occasion of getting off of work early that he found himself in a bar, hitched up at a stool and slouching over the counter with a glass of whiskey nestled in his hand. He let out a deep sigh as he felt like this is the most rest heâs gotten ever since becoming a salaryman. In his blue button and animal print tie, he loosens the decorative piece and unbuttons the first few of his shirt as he slouches.
The sound of jazz playing through the speakers and the voices of other customers piling in on the Friday evening. Heâs unaware of the pair of eyes that have settled on him this evening, the fine dime that watches two seats to his right. In a cute black backless dress that hugs every curve, you admire the blonde beauty that seems so exhausted. The way he composes himself, you can tell that heâs a reserved man and if anything, youâd have to be the one making a move on him. In your hand, a Sex on the Beach, the fruity drink gets disposed of in a few chugs before youâre standing on your heels and pulling out the stool right next to him. The scraping of the chair legs finally calls for his attention as his chestnut-colored eyes come into view.Â
He wonders how you were able to do it so quickly. The many times heâs been approached by women in the office, he was always quick to turn them down. However, with you, he didnât feel that inclination to deny you. You spoke as if it was your right to have him, the way your eyes twinkled as you smiled up at him and started an easy conversation beginning with a simple âhey!â You had so much charm to you that it loosened him up, and while you carried on most of the conversation, he found himself deeply captivated by you as you were him.Â
At the end of the night, both of you exchanged numbers. You gnawed on your bottom lip, eyes flickering to his with a desire that he wasnât used to seeing. You started to inch closer in hopes of something more, but you felt his body tense up when your lips ghosted him as you stood on your tippy-toes as he backed away. He cleared his throat, quickly dismissing the failed kiss and bidding you a farewell. âHave, uhâ have a lovely night,â he stammered out before his leather shoes clicked on the hard concrete and he turned his back on you.Â
Leaving you alone in the chilling night, you were grateful for the lack of people to witness your embarrassment before your heels clicked against the sidewalk as you walked in the other direction. He remembered feeling such guilt for leaving you hanging like that, and he felt anger within himself for doing the same to him. Heâd love to have a taste of those plump and glossy lips of yours. Do they taste as sweet as you look? However, that curiosity died as his anxiety overcrowded his brain and spoke against his better judgment, his mind chastising him for a week as he stared at your phone number, neither one of you having the strength to message first.Â
Itâs pathetic how he deprives himself of somethingâ someoneâ he wants. Someone he needs. Because only the heavens know how much Nanami needs this. Thankfully the gods listen to his pleas and his incessant whining, granting him the courage to finally message you first and ask you out on a date. It took you a couple of hours to respond back, debating with yourself if you should really go out with a man who backed away from a kiss. However, you figured that you were only being too fast and he wanted to take things slow.Â
 He took you out to a food mall, a large building backed with restaurants, bakeries and cafes all in one setting. It proved that he was truly paying attention to you when you were droning on and on back in that bar. Dressed in a pink sundress that flowed down your body, each strut you took had Nanami mesmerized when you got excited and ran off to look at something. Your eyes would sparkle as a worker would come and hand you a little skewer to try. And for once Nanami was happy with his job, grateful to be able to spend ample of money on a pretty thing such as yourself. He didnât care how much he spent on you, as long as he got to see the way your eyes lit up as you beckoned him to follow right behind you.Â
Winning over each otherâs hearts, you placed the titles of boyfriend and girlfriend on each other. Nanami was content with it, happy to spend time with youâ to hug and hold you close whenever you came to visit him and vice versa. However, while he was complacent in the place where your relationship stood, you werenât. When you finally managed to kiss him, they were always a peck and never lasted for too long, and even when he held you, that felt awkward.Â
You could never rest on his lap, your head always against his chest. When you tried to deepen the kiss, heâd always pull away. Dammit, when you tried to take it even further, thinking that you were ready to sleep with him, heâd always break that sexual tension that lingered in the air, cutting his visit short.Â
He treated you so well in almost every aspect except for the ropes of intimacy. Were you doing something wrong?
â
Nanami felt guilty for how heâd pull away, and deny you of what you wanted. He really did, but you really didnât understand what you do to him. He felt weak and pathetic about how just being in such close proximity to his girlfriend made him feel. How his cock would create a tent in his pants and he struggled to conceal it. How had you not noticed? His body would shudder every time you tried climbing on his lap, his entire body stiffening as youâd do so. When you tried to deepen the kiss, he felt like he was a high school boy again, near to releasing in his pants. Things would escalate and he was afraid of the possible embarrassment he would feel for his inexperience.Â
He should know better. He should know that you, his sweet little girlfriend, would always be so understanding and love him regardless. Something that he shouldnât be so ashamed of. What was there to be? For you to know that your boyfriend loves you so much that he finds your presence to be an excruciating turn on? That a simple peck on his lips drives him crazy? That a single hug made him want to devote the rest of his life to you? He knows this conversation will happen sooner or later. But, for right now, heâd prefer it later.Â
Standing outside your apartment door, he unlocks the door with ease, pushing it gently open. Your carâs not outside, but you should be home soon according to your work schedule. He had forgotten some work from his last visit, wanting your company while he caught up on the tedious workload, but ultimately forgetting it by the time that he left. Entering your small abode, the chill of inside greatly contrasts the heat of outside as he shuts the door behind him. He kicks off his shoes, a habit of his as he makes a beeline straight to your bedroom. Your bedroom door is wide open and he can spot just what he needs right on the desk that he claims as his own as you barely use it.Â
He reaches for the stack of paper when he takes notice of a flimsy piece of fabric lying on the ground. Letting go of the documents, the sound of his footsteps echo through the room. Bending on his knees, he picks up a pair laced white panties with a pink bow right at the center. It has pink trimmings and in Nanamiâs hand, they feel silky to the touch. He curses to himself for this type of intrusion. Youâve come to trust him so much to give him a spare key to your apartment, but here he is violating it to hold your dirty pair of panties and having the nerve to get hard while heâs at it.Â
âFuck,â he curses, looking at the crotch of your undergarment to see a dirty patch of your discharge. The way he can feel his cock strain in his khaki work pants makes him feel embarrassed and dirty, his face heating up in a shade of red. However, he never throws down the flimsy garment. He doesnât stop himself from bringing it up to his nose, taking a heavy waft to know what you smell like. The musky scent of sweat and the pungent scent of your discharge overflowing his senses is overwhelming, feeling how his cock twitches inside his pants. He lets out a stuttered breath, his free hand going to cup his erection in some sort of attempt to let go of some of the tension.Â
Veins protruding his hands as he palms himself, hands running along his girth. He can feel precum leaking from his tip. He hisses with how the urethra runs against the cotton fabric of his boxer briefs, wanting relief from its confined torture. He used to think of himself as a better man than this, a man who wouldnât succumb to lust. However, the longer he withholds himself from you, the stronger the urge and his resolve is breakingâ or, it has already broken.Â
He finds himself sitting on the very edge of your bed, toes curling as he brings himself to undo his belt, letting the buckle fall as he loosens it. He unzips his pants, providing further relief to himself before heâs shimmying out of his pants and underwear. His work shirt rides up, revealing the blonde happy trail that leads to his cock. A dark shaft in comparison to his bright pink head, itâs swollen with lust as he continues to drip of precum.Â
Nanami glances at the clock sitting on the ivory-colored nightstand. Youâll be back in less than an hour, which should be ample of time to get himself off before disappearing. He just has to make sure that he cleans up after himself well. His heart races at the excitement, which only makes him more turned on for this endeavor. Cupping his balls, he fondles them before letting your panties drop, them landing on his lap before he drapes it around his length. It looks pretty like this, he canât help but think. He fixes the next hole down his cock before gripping the base of his length. Spit pools in his mouth before it lands on his pelvis, making him swipe the glob down. He smears it down his length, painting himself with the innocent body fluid.Â
The palms of his hand are cold, making him tense up as he hikes up one leg for the pad of his foot to rest on the edge of your bed frame. The metal digs into the heel of his foot as he sets a moderate pace, toes curling as he can only think about you. He imagines your plump lips wrapped around his length, taking him in so slowly as those beady eyes of yours would look at him so innocently. Batting your eyelashes at him while you have your mouth open, on your knees so pliantly as he guides his cock to your lips. Precum smeared over your lips just how you like to decorate your lips with gloss. Theyâd shine so beautifully and smell just like him, too. Youâd work your mouth like a pro, taking him inch by inch and making his mouth fall open as heâd throw his head back.Â
This is all he thinks about when heâs pumping his cock, his grip tightening as he can only imagine. Itâs shameful with how quick that coil in his stomach approaches, a choked up gasp leaving his lips as his cock twitch. His hold tightens around the base as he uses the next hand to cup at his balls with your panties wrapped around it. He can imagine you wearing these, how theyâd hug you so cutely.
Youâd be stripping out of your clothes slowly, in an effort to tease. Theyâd work, too. Shredding each layer of clothing until youâre in nothing but those same pair of panties before sauntering over to him seductively. And when youâre in front of him, forcing him to look up at you as you push him to lay down. Youâd crawl over his body, your bare breasts hanging freely as you rest your ass down on his pelvis. Youâd grind your hips so sweetly wearing those white laced panties, pink trimmings and a pink bow right in the middle, telling him to claim his prize.Â
Youâd grind your hips amazingly, putting him in a trance as you have his cock aching for more than the rock of your hips. His fingers digging into your flesh before trying to bring you even closer to him. Youâd manage to make him whimper out the most pathetically filthy whines and whimpers known to man. He knows it. He just knows it.Â
He knows it by the drawn out moan he makes when he releases on the white tiles, spurting out a load that should be stuffed inside of you. He throws his head back, nearly slipping off the bed before he catches himself. It feels euphoric to let himself go, to give into his cravings for you. If only you were here though, he sighs. It feels pointless to voice that if the person he craves the most isnât here.Â
But, speaking of the devil, youâre parking next to his silver Lexus, your 2010 Honda looking shabby in comparison to the up-to-date vehicle that belonged to your boyfriend. You hum in content, your eyes lighting up in anticipation to see your boyfriend. Parking the car, you reach for your handbag as you climb out the vehicle. With the click of a button, your car is locked as you climb the two-story flight to your apartment. Youâre out of breath by the time youâre in front of the door and fishing for the right key off of your keychain.Â
He promised himself that it would be quick, but Nanamiâs still fucking his fist. His carnal desire for you pouring throughout in this moment, not hearing the shuffle of the locks from your front door. So absorbed in this lustful moment as he squeezes the tip, his fingers coated in his seed as he quickens the pace.Â
You can see his shoes resting in the right corner while you hang your bag on the rack and shimmy out of your cardigan, kicking off your flats gently. While he canât hear you, you hear himâ the deep sounds of his voice grunting and panting from afar. With furrowed eyebrows, confusion fills you before realization as you near your bedroom. The wet sounds of plat, plat, plat echoing as you take careful steps. Your heart races as your eyes widen when you take a peek inside of your bedroom to see the compromising state of your boyfriend.Â
Sitting on your bed with his pants resting a bit above his knees. His cock, spent as he strokes it. You can see the jagged line of his cum squirted out on the floor, strays catching his pants and the rest dripping from his fist. Arousal pools immediately as you silently watch, clenching your thighs together as you shuffle on your footing. Youâve been unknowingly holding your breath, your face heating up as you watch this moment. Your mouth dries up, gulping as your eyes flicker to his length as you watch his languid movement. His hip bucking in further need. Itâs then do you see the strikingly bright shade of white and hints of pink, falling under realization that heâs jerking off with your panties wrapped around him. Shit, you curse as you start to heave. You cup your heat in need, thighs trapping your hand as you grind into your digits.Â
âShit,â Nanami curses, calling out your name as he can feel his balls tighten and his legs stiffen. âFuck, I need you.â
With another orgasm, itâs not as copious as the previous, the trail following a shorter path as he paints his hand in his seed. Hips stuttering, he brings himself to lean back, using his cleaner hand to hold up his weight to bring himself back to reality. A fog full of stars and ecstasy clouding his vision before itâs all cleared up. He thinks heâs alone. He thinks the coast is all clear until heâs sitting up and right at the door way youâre standing there. He gasps, calling out your name in shock.
You feel like a deer caught in headlights, but this is your apartment after all. Eyes dilated as your hand is still stuffed in between your legs, you let out a heavy breath. Itâs nice to know that all your worries about your relationship seem to get relieved at this moment as you quickly become elated.Â
You start to saunter towards him, just as he envisioned. Only, youâre fully clothed when you push him down on the bed. His eyes widen as he calls out, âWait. Iââ
You cut him off, taking his cum-coated hand and bringing it to your lips. Tongue sticking out, you clean him all up and all his worries dissipate as he curses once more, fuck. âWhatever it is, promise that we work through it together, ya?â
Nanami nods, speechless and he puts all of his trust in you and his cock hardens again. He was a fool to be so worried. Finally, heâs able to mutter out a single word. âYeah, okay.â
subscriptions ââ @r0ckst4rjk @kasukuna @satsattoru @blcknebula @tojirin
#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento smut#nanami x reader#nanami smut#nanami kento x you#nanami x you#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen#nanami kento#áŻâ
standalone.#tw: (n)sfw
681 notes
¡
View notes
Text
matchy-matchy
tldr: match with me? a/n: i am embarrassed to admit how long it took me to come up with each of these
ot13 x reader
seungcheol: bracelets
except its one of those welded-on bracelets that you can only get off with some kind of tool that can cut through chain. he wanted you both to be reminded every day that your love was strong, unbreakable, permanent. the chain was dainty on both your wrists, barely noticeable, but still ever-present. ever the possessive guy, he liked having his mark on you. and he supposed a bracelet would do for now; until he gave you his last name.Â
jeonghan: lego figurines
theyâre minifigs and he had them custom-made to look like you, favorite outfits and everything. theyâre on a little shelf thatâs mounted to the wall. below the shelf are two little hooks, one for your keys and one for his. your keys go underneath your figure and his under his own. these minifigs were a gift for you very early on in the relationship. theyâve moved all over with you and now theyâre part of your shared home.Â
joshua: luggage
he brings you everywhere with him so it makes sense that your bags all match so you donât draw suspicion. so what if he was pictured with a suitcase that has a my melody plush keychain on it? heâs man enough to admit he likes my melody, but really he likes you more and itâs easier that everything look the same. he doesnât even have to think about it when grabbing a bag from the closet for each of you before heading on your next adventure together.Â
junhui: ramen bowls
yes, you could hypothetically use this bowl for something other than ramen, but that would make it not special anymore and that just wonât do. it tickles both of you to no end to pull those bowls down from the cabinet and rifle through the silverware drawer for the matching chopsticks, all items printed with a delicate cherry blossom pattern. when the bowls were purchased the intention wasnât even for them to become the bowls you use but its too late to look back now.Â
soonyoung: water bottles
he dances and works out a lot, therefore he drinks a lot of water. he was going through plastic bottles of water like nobodyâs business so you convinced him to get a reusable one. so he did, and he got you one to match! yours is black, inconspicuous. his is bright orange. the reasoning? theyâre tiger colors, but subtle. why do you kind of agree with him?
wonwoo: phone wallpapers
theyâre lowkey and you wouldnât know theyâre matching unless you saw them both side by side and noticed that the street light in both photos looks a little similarâŚthe pictures are always from the walks you two go on in the middle of the night when it can be just you and him without the pressures of his career. some of your best moments together have come from those nights and the pictures are reminders of that.Â
jihoon: slippers
the universe factory is cold, always. and yes, you keep an extra cozy blanket and hoodie in there but sometimes your feet get cold and your socks just arenât enough. he mustâve noticed because there were suddenly two pairs of slippers by the door one day. when you asked about them, he just gestured vaguely and mumbled something about your feet. youâll take it! theyâre also not matching so much as theyâre exactly the same. he claims this is for efficiency so he can wear either pair. cool, dude!
seokmin: sneakers
he has a lot of shoes. but his favorite pair are the ones that you bought together. theyâre your favorite color and you each have a pair. you wear them together often, so smitten with each other itâs sickening. he always brings these sneakers on tour with him, whether you come too or not. its a win-win for him either way. he gets to match you from a close distance or from across the world. at least he knows heâs yours.Â
mingyu: sunglasses
multiple pairs. every pair he buys himself, he also buys one for you. they're his favorite accessory and he looks oh so handsome in them so you never complain. your collection is slowly getting smaller though because he tends to break or lose things (sometimes both) and if it's a pair he really loved, heâll ask with big puppy eyes if he can have the pair he bought for you. sometimes you tell him no just to see him pout.
minghao: manicures
oh, youâre going to get your nails done? heâs coming with, and paying. they donât even have to be the same design or anything, they just have to go together. you donât want a super complicated design like him? okay, cool. just get the same color. you went without him? fine, but what color is on your nails? it has to be the exact same as yours or else it doesnât count. the colors may look similar but theyâre not exactly the same polish? you might as well break up.Â
seungkwan: phone cases
the design you chose has a little inside joke meaning to the two of you. no one even bothers asking the meaning behind the joke because they âwouldnât get itâ. your phone also has a different pc of him in it weekly (he changes it based on his mood) so your coworkers think youâre a super fan with your matching phone case and pc, obsessed with the idol on your phone. little do they knowâŚ
hansol: keychains
you have a miffy one, it's fuzzy. he has a darth vader one, itâs lego. it kind of just appeared on your keychain one day and when you mentioned it to him he casually explained he put it there the other week. he fished through his pocket to show you his matching (?) keychain. the only explanation he gives? âitâs totally us,â and how could you argue with that?
chan: stuffed animals
theyâre dinosaurs, not dragons, thank you very much. and yes, they are therapeutically weighted to ease anxiety when placed on the chest. have a problem with that? i didnât think so. these things go everywhere with you. if a car ride is longer than an hour, your green dinosaur is guaranteed to be there. heâs flying to tokyo? not without his passport and his little pink friend. show some respect! these are your kids!
#seventeen#seventeen imagines#seventeen fluff#svt#seventeen scenarios#svt x reader#seungcheol imagine#jeonghan imagines#joshua imagines#jun imagines#soonyoung imagine#wonwoo imagines#jihoon imagines#seokmin imagine#minghao imagine#vernon imagines#seungkwan imagine#chan imagines#mingyu imagine
707 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Possessive!Geto who pretends he doesn't care when he overhears that a new high-paying customer comes to the club every Friday to watch you specifically perform on stage, knowing he canât really do anything about it unless a patron breaks the rules printed on a neon sign above the barâNo touching the dancers unless you're tippingâeven if heâs the one in charge.
Heâll smile and nod, shaking hands with big spenders with sleazy smiles in the VIP lounge while his eyes find you from the other side of the room as you climb into another manâs lap.
He canât stop his jaw from clenching when that same customer tips a monthâs worth of rent every week or asks about private shows even though you don't do them. How he notices you smiling prettily for this customer, eyelashes fluttering with stars in your eyes to match the glitter on your cheeks before you walk off stage toward the dressing rooms.Â
Sometimes you play the part of making a lonely man feel wanted too well.Â
Possessive!Geto whose hand tightens around his glass tumbler, watching the man whoâs been coming to see you (now twice a week) slip a thick white card into the top of your stockings. The fact that he touched your thigh with his dirty hands irks Geto the most.
In times like this, he wishes he had never come up with the rule about keeping your relationship a secretâso nobody thinks Iâm picking favoritesâbecause regret is a thick pill to swallow.
When you walk up to his office later, Geto wastes no time by dragging you down onto his lap, trailing his nose down the slope of your neck where your soft-smelling perfume is strongest and sucking a bruise into the hollow of your throat for everyone to see.Â
Youâre still wearing those cross-stitch stockingsâthe feel of them under his hands making him halfway hardâand he yanks the bodice of your dress down just underneath the swell of your breasts to get rid of the thought of another man touching you.
âB-but, Suguru, weâre at workââ
âLet me enjoy these pretty tits, huh?â he growls before sucking a nipple into his greedy mouth.
You whine his name, and itâs the sweetest sound heâs ever heard.
The blinds to his floor-to-ceiling windows are open, but it's tinted glass so nobody can tell what happens behind locked doors. Except, when he glances toward the busy club below, he wishes everyone in the building could witness what it looks like for you to fall apart under his handsâa personal show you put on just for him.
Only him. His fingers hook inside you to feel you tight and hot around him as a reminder.
Possessive!Geto who has enough one day after that customer asks for another private sessionâthis time, he goes to Geto directly.
Itâs a busy night, and every dancer works the floor. Well, almost.Â
Youâre kneeling between his spread legs, spit dribbling down your chin, whimpering while trying to open your throat for him.
He brushes your hair away from your face, watching your mouth messily slurp around his cock under his deskâhis jaw is slack, and his other hand clenches on the armrest of his chair. âSo goodâfuck, babyâso fucking pretty,â he mutters, his top teeth catching his bottom lip.
His head tilts back when you eagerly fill your mouth with him again and again until he feels you choke, making his thighs flex under your hands. Getoâs thumb smooths an arc across your cheek.
âThere you go,â he huffs. âI love that little mouthââ
Thereâs a knock on his door, and he feels you panic, moving to pull off his cock. But the hand in your hair tightens, keeping you pressed against him. Your nails bite into his skin, tears prickling your lashline as small distressed mewls escape your lips.
âDonât you dare fucking stop,â he hisses. âNot unless I say so.â
Another knock echoes in his office.
âCome in.â
The customer with the too-shiny tie and a penchant for slipping thousands into your g-string opens the door with a smile on his face and a glint in his eye, sauntering into the room like he owns the place. âHow about that dealââ
Whatever heâs about to ask is lost on Geto because his ears are ringing when he feels you swallow around him, and his balls draw up tight against his body, andâ
Possessive!Geto who grunts when you moan around his cock as he cums down your throat, his lips twitching at the look of shock on the customerâs face.
âIâve heard your deal,â he says eventually, glancing down at your glazed eyes and wiping away what little mess escaped your mouth with his thumb. âBut sheâs not yours to take.â
#geto x reader#geto x you#geto smut#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen smut
1K notes
¡
View notes
Text
Done in collab with wonderful @pforestsims â it's 2024, high time to rework how cameras work in TS2!
With this mod, sims can only take pictures if they have a camera in their inventory. To make this more feasible, the default camera is now buyable under Electronics / Small for §120. (If your sim happens to leave on a vacation without a camera, they can still ask kind locals and tourists to take pictures for them.)
In addition, there are six new functional custom cameras.
For most cameras, you'll need to order the photo with a computer to get a printed version, as is the default behavior.
Instant cameras: With Classic Polaroid and Instax cameras, the photo will be added to your sim's inventory right away. They require the instant photo mesh to work (included with the download). The photos taken with instant cameras can't be ordered with computers.
By default, the instant photo has a clear vignette overlay. You can add a tint to it by clicking the mesh and choosing either blue, green, red, or orange tint from the pie menu. It's also possible to revert it back to being clear.
There are two versions of this mod: the 'cellphone' one makes the cellphone work as a camera and is meant to be used together with my phone default. The cellphone will get picked for taking pictures only if the sim doesn't have another camera in their inventory.
The 'no cellphone' version has all the other functionality but the default cellphone won't work as a camera with it.
đˇ Download (SFS) (alternate)
Files are compressed. Requires Bon Voyage and maybe University too. A collection file for the custom cameras is included; you can keep only those that you like, the mod works with or without them.
đ¨đ¨ Conflicts with the custom smartphone camera mod by @jellymeduza. Meduza has shared compatible versions in that same post.
This mod conflicts and isn't compatible with no bad photos mod by @picknmixsims.
There's also a conflict with the snowproof accessories mod by guirnaldas. Both mods will work if you make the camera overhaul load after the snowproof accessories.
This mod is compatible with camera default replacements that don't include an OBJD override, for example this one by @vegan-kaktus or this one by me works perfectly.
Update (12.5.2024): The default camera and all custom cameras are now sellable in OFB businesses. The cameras will also appear in the correct position when moved away from a sim's inventory.
Update (24.4.2024): Visiting sims can now be asked to take a picture for you if they have a non-instant camera in their inventory.
Update (29.1.2024): Taking pictures with instant cameras now fulfills the want to take a picture just as the normal cameras do. Sims using instant cameras also correctly gain art enthusiasm from it.
Update (28.1.2024): Both the default and the custom cameras won't get covered in snow anymore if used outdoors when there's snow on the ground.
The mirrorless camera was converted from TS4 by @lordcrumps, thank you for sharing the textures! The telephoto camera was converted from TS4 for this project, thank you @deedee-sims for extracting! The DSLR camera was converted for this project as well, from ACNH.
2K notes
¡
View notes
Text
what turns them on/off
彥drivers lewis hamilton, max verstappen, charles leclerc, sebastian vettel, jenson button
彥genre hcs/scenarios
彥summary what gets their wheels spinning and what makes âem dnf â
彥notes i apologize for the wait my loves i didnât want any of these to feel rushed </3 thank you for 100 followers â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
彥warnings sexual content
ââââ-ę§đŞźđŚđđŹđŚę§-ââââ
lewis
pleasuring you lewis loves to satisfy the people he loves. getting them gifts, compliments, paying the bill for any meal, you name it. as long as his special ones are happy, hes happy. so in bed you can expect those same things to apply. he gets pleasure from pleasuring you, he loves it. he enjoys seeing you trembling, blushing and fucked out more than his own pleasure. thats why his favorite thing to do is eat you out. and by life itself, this man can EAT!! its almost like your pussy put a spell on him he gets so lost in the sauce. you physically have to push him off to make him stop and by that time your legs are already shaking. he really touches the ocean floor if you know what i mean!! and the d is fire!! and it will put you to sleep. lewis loves being your personal melatonin.
meaningless sex when lewis was single and needed some pleasure every once in a while, he would just go on raya or hit up one of the six trillion girls who wanted him. he wasnât satisfied with living that way. lewis is a lover not a player. heâs been through a lot of stuff to make him this way and he learned this the hard way through his late twenties and early thirties. born to be a lover, forced to be a hoe !! fortunately though, he met you and looking back on it, heâs realized how much he hated the shallowness of it all. lewis craves for deep meaningful connections and just having sex with random women didnât fill that hole in his heart. he had to relearn the true meaning of sex and how magical and special such an experience can be. you helped him rediscover this important aspect of his life and it feels great. being with you has definitely taught him quality over quantity.
max
loss of senses max needs to see you, so darkness is a no no. plus, more unnecessary risk of hurting yourselves. he loves the sound of your voice, weather its your moaning and whining as he works your body in every way you enjoy or its just you rambling about your day while running your soft fingers through his thin silky hair. max needs the stimulation of sight and sound to get himself going. âlet me hear youâ heâll whisper into your ear
this may be why he loves his mirrors !! the only solution to this issue is to just fuck u in front of a mirror. most men love to do that for their own pleasure but the only thing max is looking at while fucking you in front of a mirror is the way your face twitches, contorts, and relaxes with every thrust. the way your doe eyes roll back and cross, further showing to him how good he fucks you. he picks you up by your neck forcing you to straighten your back as he whispers sweet praise into your ear. âyou look so pretty like this babyâ âyou want me to keep doing that gorgeous?â âuhuh im fucking you good babyâ your legs twitch every time his sweet voice sings into your ear telling you everything you need to hear.
charles
charles loves to see you in lace, latex, and silk. the way the latex hugs your figure so beautifully makes you almost look naked. weather its black, beige, white, or print he loves when you look all sexy just for him. silk is almost like maternal for him. as much as he loves to see your curves he also loves the look of âsheets after sexâ the open back with the jewelry and the flowy trim, he loves it. it simply just makes him want to imagine you bloated with your shared creation but still keeping your elegance and beauty along with it. the look of silk makes your skin glow like the sun and you simply look like a greek goddess in his eyes. the beautiful custom embroidery that revolves around your every curve when you wear lace is unmatched. he loves that it shows just enough that he can imagine what hes already seen but also covers enough that others cant. the sexy elegant vibe of lace changes your aura enough to make him want to eat you out through your thin panties. your beautiful skin covered by a thin soft custom embroidery made just for him makes his mind go wild.
waiting charles is very impatient when it comes to his pleasure. weather its the pleasure of winning or reaching tip of his climax so good that heâll just want to fall asleep after, heâll work hard to make sure he gets there, for you too. sure, he can do foreplay but only for a certain amount of time until he begins to bore. âlets get to the good stuff alreadyâ ((sass)) charles is a gentleman, so he will make sure you finish before him. plus, he has amazing stamina, so donât feel rushed to reach your climax, he can wait for that. sometimes heâll slow down just to watch you overstimulate for a little bit longer, just until you start fussing before going rough and slow, just how u like it. âwhats wrong mon cĹr? donât you like it slow?â âahh you want it harder.. yeah, just like that.â
sebastian
cuddling (smirk) the bed creaks as seb adjusts himself to face your back swinging an arm over your waist and the other snaked around your neck. âgood morning, der lieblingâ he greeted in his raspy low morning tone, planting soft kisses on your cheek and shoulder. you turned your head to catch his lips. âgood morning sunshineâ you teased his nickname. he rolled his eyes, a smirk tugging his lips. he kissed your nose before diving back onto your lips, his hand now squeezing and caressing your waist and hip. you scooted back, carefully grinding your rear on his front. his hand stuck on your hip while his other now holding your neck. you continued grinding your ass back on him. little moans and purrs escaping between kisses.
full attention its important that you fully engage with seb while having relations. if you seem at all uninterested in what youâre doing he simply wont have the means to do anything anymore. its important to always make sure youâre not holding back when it comes to him. he loves when your hands are anywhere they can find groping or caressing his skin as hes burried deep in your core. he needs to feel extra wanted every time. âtouch meâ he whispers into your ear as he slowly inserts himself. the extra sensory makes him go wild as he resists cumming after just a couple strokes. your nails lightly scratching circles into his scalp as heâs pressing your knees into the cushion below. even when hes fucking you from behind you always reach a hand over to run down his chest and abs and make eye contact as you match his thrust rhythm.
(i might add jenson in the future but im trying to get this out for you guys asap!!)
â-
dm for tags!! plz request more ideas â¤ď¸
#f1#formula one#f1 x reader#f1 x you#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#lewis hamilton#max verstappen x gn!reader#lewis hamilton x reader#sebastian vettel#charles leclerc x female oc#charles leclerc x gn!reader#charles leclerc x female reader#charles lecrelc#charles leclerc#lewis hamilton x gn!reader#lewis hamilton x fem!reader#lewis hamilton x you#sir lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton scenarios#sebastian vettel x fem!reader#sebastian vettel x you#sebastian vettel x reader#sebastian vettel scenarios#max verstappen x yn#max verstappen x you#max verstappen scenario#mac verstappen smut#formula one x gn!reader#formula one x y/n
433 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Back Up
Summary: Terry gets much needed back up during a Christmas shopping outing.
Pairing: Terry Richmond x Black!OC
Word Count: 2.2k
Warnings: Language
Previous: Spoiled
MASTERLIST
Bodies whipping past each other in a crowded department store made an already exhausting shopping session all the more uncomfortable for Terry. He hated being forced to mingle with the public, scooting past rude customers as they selfishly took up space between messy clothing racks and disheveled aisles. Heâd already said more expletives than his mother would enjoy if she were with him and Patrice searching for gifts to round out their early Christmas haul.Â
His wife had coaxed him out of the house with promises of his favorite hot meal and one of those Korean face masks he pretended to only kind of like for his willingness to act as her hired muscle for the afternoon. Lugging big boxed items and not so subtly shoving grown men who stepped in her path was his primary task. And, for the work heâd done in two hours, it had to be enough to earn a kiss or two as a reward for good behavior.Â
Patrice and Terry stood side by side as she carefully and quietly scanned a printed spreadsheet lined with multiple names and items.Â
âHey, boo, did you see if that juicer back there was marked down? I wanna grab it for Mama.âÂ
Terry tinkered with the buttons on a display air fryer and shook his head. âI wasnât looking, but everything in here seems to be on sale. Need me to go back for you? I donât mind.â
Despite his disdain for the current circumstances, heâd gleefully double back to fulfill Patriceâs wishes. She reached out to stroke his muscled arm as a thank you for his effort.
âNo, thatâs okay, baby. How about you meet me over by the tableware instead so we can divide and conquer? I need to grab a new cutlery set so we can throw ours out and then get out of here. Promise. I know youâre ready to eat.â
âAnd go the hell home,â he grumbled. âI donât understand how you deal with all this.â
His deep scowl, usually a deterrent for strangers looking to avoid conflict, only made him look like an adorable petulant child to Patrice. A grin spread across her face as she approached him to smooth her palms arose his broad chest.Â
âI know, Pooh. Youâre doing a great job, though. All cute and patient for me.âÂ
Praise from her for even the simplest tasks never failed to switch off his defenses and soften his heart into jelly. If asked, heâd vehemently deny that he enjoyed being cooed at like a child, but Patrice caught the uncontrollable happy twinkle in his eye as she pushed up on her toes to kiss his cheek.Â
He attempted to regain his composure to save face. âYouâre talkinâ to me like a baby.â
âNot just any baby. Youâre my baby.â More pecks on his stubbled jaw made Terry groan and roll his eyes as he slowly gave in. Sweet talk had prevailed and he was back to being wrapped around her ring finger like the shining wedding band sheâd been wearing for a little over a month. She pinched his cheek and smiled in triumph knowing the battle was won. âIâll be quick, Iâll promise. Two minutes!â
âSo we cool with only two minutes now?â
Patrice mirrored Terryâs cheeky grin as she backed away in search of her final gift for the afternoon, leaving him proud of his suggestive joke.Â
He prayed they could hit 120 seconds on the dot for the first time in their lives. His feet ached. His stomach growled louder than the Michael BublĂŠ songs playing over the storeâs speakers. His patience was thin. If he wasnât in the comfort of home within 45 minutes, heâd have to introduce the public to a version of Terry no one should have to meet.Â
Following Patriceâs instructions, Terry mosied toward a glittering section full of discounted crystal and fine china. Where others saw Patrice as a complex maze of desires, feelings, and unmeetable demands, Terry knew exactly what she liked. Natural textures and earthy tones kept their home grounded in nature to match her love for the small flower garden she kept in the backyard. Every kitchen accessory, big and small, revolved around the coveted ivory dinner set she purchased with her first check as an educator. Forks and spoons would be no different. Terry didnât need another hand slap and stern lecture to learn that lesson.
His fingers tracked option after option on cluttered shelves until he found two sets of flatware that fit her strict specifications. Sleek? Check. Matching her favorite plates and blows? Got it. He prided himself on making her decisions easier and this latest attempt was his best to date. Â
Grabbing the first set was a piece of cake. He slid it from the shelf with no issue to place into the already-packed shopping basket. The second attempt came with a struggle as another, much daintier hand attempted to tug his wifeâs prize from his grasp.Â
Terry looked down to find a small, frail older woman with ivory skin and a tight frown looking back at him with contempt. He tugged a little harder, but she pulled back.Â
Not wanting to cause a scene for fear of being seen as the angry Black man terrorizing fellow patrons, he tried placating the older woman with a polite smile and disarming chuckle. âThis is for my wife, actually. You know how that goes. Iâm happy to give it to you if she chooses otherwise, though.âÂ
The attempt at a friendly tone and winning smile did little to deter his unlikely adversary. What charm he thought he possessed only seemed to make her angrier. She eyed him up and down, thin lips twisted into an indignant smile as she attempted to nab the item a second time to no avail.Â
âBut you already have one,â she complained, pointing at the item in his basket. âYou canât have another.âÂ
âIâm not trying to have two. Sheâll make a decision and put back what she doesnât want.â
âSo, youâre just gonna hold it?âÂ
Terry regarded her with a blank stare. ââŚYes.â
âYou canât do that!â
âWill you be the one to stop me or what?âÂ
There wasnât much left in Terryâs tank for niceties. Greying hair and crepey skin wouldnât do much to stop a tongue-lashing if static was what she was after.Â
The woman stood firm, reaching to grab the item from Terryâs hand but missing when he snatched it back. She raised her voice. âIâm going to have security come over here and make you give it up.â
âMaâam, I truly do not care who you call. Stop trying to put your hands on me.âÂ
âOr what?â She was challenging a nearly unshakeable man. He didnât budge and it left her incensed. She attempted another angle. âCall your wife over here. Go on! I want to talk to her face to face.âÂ
He scoffed and shook his head. âNah. You donât want that. Call security. Itâs better for everyone involved.â
âCall her over here!â
âIâm not about to let you piss her off and ruin the rest of my day. Letâs figure something out.â
She had no idea what she was asking for, the kind of trouble she was welcoming into her life. Terry tried to reason with her. He tried to compromise to keep the peace. But, as Patrice rounded the corner to find an unfamiliar woman embroiled in a verbal tussle with her man, time had just run out.Â
âOh, no maâam,â Patrice started with the look of a protective mother in her eyes. âYou better figure that out and quick. Weâre not playing that game. Whatâs the problem?âÂ
Fear gripped the older woman as Patrice approached. Terry slowly placed the second set of utensils in the basket and scoffed. Whatever happened next was up to God and whoever his newest foe served.
âI told you,â Terry reminded, shaking his head. âGood luck.â
âIs this your husband?âÂ
Patrice moved to stand in front of Terry with the juicer in tow, acting as a human shield. She spoke low and slow. âAnd what about him? What exactly is your issue?âÂ
Terry watched the exchange with bated breath. Her calmness was a war tactic she employed to size up her enemy. At any moment she might explode and leave you shell-shocked.
âHe has two sets of flatware in that cart saying heâs waiting on you to decide. Thatâs not fair! Choose one,â the woman accused, her voice rising in a feeble attempt to intimidate Patrice.
âThatâs not how shopping works! Weâll buy every single one of these motherfuckers if we want to! Who gonâ stop us?â
âWith cash, too,â Terry mumbled in support.
The woman clutched invisible pearls, feining disgust at the use of adult language. âWhat a foul mouth! That is not the way you speak to people. Especially not your elders. âÂ
âBaby, if you keep talking to this one behind me crazy, my mouth will be the last thing you need to worry about.â
âIs that a threat?âÂ
She shouldâve prayed for a threat. A threat wouldâve been the easy way out - a free pass to avoid making an enemy of someone with such an intense passion for using quick wit and a slick tongue to eviscerate her opponents.Â
Patrice calmly turned to thrust the heavy juicer into Terryâs arms without a word before turning to make her point clear. He shook his head in pity. Poor woman. Sheâd tell this story to her family at dinner later, looking for sympathy when what she really needed was the foresight to recognize when she encountered the verbal assassin he called his better half.
Silently, he mouthed Patriceâs favorite opening statement in time with the words leaving her lips.
âLet me tell you something.â Terry smiled to himself, knowing he had her down to a science. Patrice pointed a manicured finger in her direction for extra emphasis. âIâm sure weâll never meet again, but hopefully this will help you the next time you think about running up on someone you donât know. Donât you ever holler at my husband or your assâll have to cash that check your mouth wrote this afternoon. Have I made myself clear or are you so deprived of the sense God gave you that you need a demonstration?â
This time, Patriceâs heavy suggestion to drop the issue before it could escalate and retreat to another section of the store was received with renewed clarity. The woman huffed in defeat. Terry and Patrice watched her reluctantly pluck another option from the shelf and scurry away with her tail between her legs. Patrice tracked her with her eyes and a scowl that looked just like her husbandâs on her face until the coast was clear.Â
Terry watched her try to physically reset by rolling her shoulders down and back, but her face betrayed her once she turned to face him.Â
She reached for the sets of cutlery and examined both under harsh fluorescent light. âThese are nice. I think I like the left more though.âÂ
âTreece.âÂ
âMmm, but the left is a little bulky now that I look at it. Maybe the right? Which one did you like?âÂ
âPatrice.â Terry used his index finger to tilt Patriceâs head upward and redirect her attention. The corners of his lips lifted into a small smile before leaning down to kiss her nose. âThank you, Piggy. I had it, but I love when you back me up. What you want as repayment tonight?âÂ
âMmmm, my feet hurt a little. Think you can work your magic?âÂ
He hummed in response. âI was gonna do that anyway for myself. Pick something else.â
âI want you to help me pick eating utensils so we can get out of here,â Patrice laughed to discharge the tension growing between them. âLeft or right?â
âThe left is my choice. But Iâll buy every single one of these motherfuckers in here if you want âem.â
His callback had both of them dissolving into a fit of giggles that only stopped once another patron browsing the aisle forced them to make a quick decision and make a move to return to their side of town.Â
In the car, Patrice playfully jabbed a finger into Terryâs arm as they pulled out into mall traffic. âDonât you go tellinâ my mama and daddy about this. I donât have time for their mouths today. And stop letting people talk to you crazy in the first place. Iâm serious, Terry.â
âYes maâam. You have made yourself abundantly clear.âÂ
âShut up!âÂ
Silly jokes about the absurdity of hemming up an old woman passed between the pair as they sat in a bumper-to-bumper jam were interrupted by an incoming call on the carâs Bluetooth system.Â
âHow you doinâ mama,â Terry answered as soon as the call connected, leaving Patrice to entertain herself. âI got Treece in the car. You know she threatened to stop feeding me if I didnât go shopping with her. Crazy, ainât it?âÂ
âThatâs what she should do! No way she should be out there with all these holiday crazies by herself.âÂ
Patrice nodded in agreement. âThank you, Ms. Dee. You get the biggest gift under the tree this year.âÂ
âOh, thank you, Treecey Girl!â
âHold on, hold on,â Terry interjected. âTreecey is a holiday crazy! Let me tell you how she just threatened an old lady about some forks and knives today.â
âTerrence, donât sit up here and lie. My girl is way too sweet for that.â
âHand to God, mama. Almost body slammed somebodyâs grandma.â Terry bore all of his teeth in an impish grin as Patriceâs eyes grew wide.Â
âSnitch,â she mouthed at him before responding to Diedra. âOkay, threatened is an over-simplification. She was yelling at your son and I stepped in!âÂ
âYelling!? Girl, start at the top.âÂ
The message âI canât stand youâ typed into a note and flashed in his direction made Terry choke back laughter as he listened to Patrice defend her actions. Though he knew what he was doing, in his mind, she shouldâve been more specific in her instruction.Â
She never said he couldnât tell his mama.
-----
Comment if you'd like to be tagged!
TAGS: @planetblaque @wvsspoppin @thatone-girly @avoidthings @slutsareteacherstoo @eilujion @amyhennessyhouse @yaachtynoboat711 @jenlovey @pinkpantheris @blowmymbackout @onherereading @hrlzy @becauseimswagman1 @thiccc-c @urfavblackbimbo @blackburnbook @ashanti-notthesinger @xo-goldengirl @ariiijestertheklown @blyffe @tvchi @wabi-sabi1090 @blackmoonchilee
306 notes
¡
View notes