#can you believe i don't yet have a snake or shark tattoo

[shark-myths]

You made a post a while back recommending being a lady with another lady tattooed somewhere on your body, but I think tattoos are cool in general so if you want to give a run-down of all your tats I would gladly listen :)

*cracks knuckles* HERE WE GO! in no particular order whatsoever...

medusa: the initial tattoo in question! i have a badass naked medusa holding the severed head of perseus on my leg, people glare at me in grocery stores, it’s GREAT, one of my bestest friends & ink daddy @alienfuckeronmain put her on me and it was every bit as magical as it sounds.

girl out boy: in the same weekend the same lovely aforementioned, phoenix tattooed a strawberry vulva with a cool knife and the words GIRL OUT BOY on my shoulder.

tasj portrait: i have the most perfect portrait of my beloved cat, who i had for nearly 17 years and who died this january. it captures her exact essence, and the exact color of her always-glaring eyes. it’s on my forearm and i talk to it a lot. i have also been known to kiss it?

poppies & oak leaves: one of my most beautiful tattoos, this one was about giving up control. I didn’t see it or know almost anything about it until i sat down with my trusted tattoo artist and he put the stencil on me. it’s beautiful and on my collarbone, and i didn’t realize until the end of the tattoo that he’d been leaning on my boob the whole time and never once made me feel creeped out or gross--it was just a body part and he didn’t make it seem any other way--which i am so so grateful for, especially as a bunch of assaults by tattoo artists in my city are coming to light this week. 

harry potter page stars: jk rowling made these taste bad. they’re on the front of my right shoulder.

stay fresh: a very beautiful silly tat in the handwriting of my most important ex, which says ‘stay fresh’ and for which i offer no explanation. it’s on my ankle

pirate ship: on my thigh, my post painful tattoo to date, a beautiful color portrait of an album cover from a band that was once my favorite, featuring a pirate ship, and a banner that reads “I AM BECOMING” because i think that’s what we’re all doing, and i hope to never stop

crystal ball: on my wrist, the crystal ball emoji in honor of the MANIA build-up. it says FOB in the base and ‘too much, not enough’ around it

these dumb nordic runes on my wrists i’ve had since i was 18

a phoenix on my shoulder blade, taken from one of king arthur’s shields and also because i really love x-men. i got it on my 18th birthday

astronaut: a really gorgeous piece from Angie Mueth of St Louis, the same extremely talented lady who did my cat portrait, is an astronaut on my upper arm floating through space. it’s inspired by the ezra furman song ordinary life, and there’s a banner that reads “you’re allowed to do anything you’ve gotta do.”

moth: i always forget this one! because i can’t see it and it’s unfinished, i’ve had it for a decade and it will probably always be unfinished. it started because of my obsession with a don marquis poem about a moth and a flame. it’s on my ribcage and kind of looks like an ice cream cone, and some jerky guy tattooed it on me while very clearly high. he took F O R E V E R

upside down compass: i have this gorgeous intricate lord of the rings compass on the back of my neck that GOT DONE UPSIDE DOWN BY MISTAKE and it’s tragic, i don’t even like to think about it??? ugh

narsil: my other LOTR tattoo is the broken shaft on narsil on my forearm. it’s cool as hell, and very delicately done.

i think that’s all of them? yes. i believe it is. tattoos are great and this post is so silly without pictures, but thank you for asking so that i could talk about all my beautiful artwork! to anyone considering tattoos, i cannot recommend enough getting tattooed by a lady who makes you feel safe. there are so many talented artists out there, there’s no need to go to a shop that makes you feel like shit for being there. use your money to fund someone whose art you will feel honored to wear for the rest of your life, and then get something sweet and YOU and dumb tattooed, like an emoji or donkey kong wearing chuck taylors made out of bananas.

thank you for coming to my ted talk <3