#can we PLEASE talk about rah tah tah.

[allbornscreaming]

TYLER, THE CREATOR — Thought I Was Dead (dir. Tyler Okonma, 2024) +

[atarahderek]

Free plot bunny to good home

Looking to rehome a plot bunny that I have no room for. Free to a good writer/artist. Must be a faithful fan of both Zootopia and Watership Down. Any takers?

Zootopia: The Mystery of the Mad Rabbit

When a mysterious entity starts wreaking havoc across the city, from minor vandalism to outright terror attacks, the ZPD calls in a consultant when it's discovered that their culprit has a criminal history across the pond. Judy is delighted to meet Esau “Bigwig” Thlayli, the chief of owsla from a tiny town in [England] called Watership down. Bigwig is less than thrilled that his work on the case is so limited, with a strict “no field work” caveat, and there's something about Judy's partner that rubs his fur the wrong way. Judy and Nick will have to learn to work with Bigwig to solve the case, before this General Woundwort stirs the city into an all out panic.

Some lines from the story...

…

Bogo: “Hopps, I've asked you to greet our consultant today in part because you and Wilde will be the ones taking his notes and investigating on them, and in part because I believe you'll be quite interested to learn you're not quite the pioneer among rabbits that you thought you were.”

…

Judy: “Oh my goodness, another bunny cop! I thought I was the first one!”

Bigwig: “Oh, well, I hope you're not disappointed. Where I come from, bunnies are just as welcome on the police force as larger mammals.”

Judy: “Disappointed? No, not at all! It's exciting, really! It means that I was right all along! Bunnies can definitely be cops. And not as an exception to some rule, either!”

…

Bogo: “You mean to tell me that our suspect is a bunny?”

Bigwig: “With all due respect, chief, it would be terribly unwise to refer to him as a bunny, or a mere mammal. He's a monster. And trust me, he takes great pride in that title.”

…

Bigwig: “Your partner...is a fox?”

Judy: “Yeah. That's not a problem, is it?”

Bigwig: “...No, not at all! It's just...highly unusual, that's all.”

Judy: “Even moreso than a bunny cop?”

Bigwig: “Very much so.”

Nick: “Well, thank you both for making me feel like a freak show. So what's our suspect's name again?”

…

Bigwig: “He calls himself General Woundwort, though his exact military history, if any, is unclear. He was a cult leader, and taking him down and rescuing his 'followers' was my first case as chief of owsla.”

…

Judy: “So, that doe you were Muzzle Timing with...is that your...wife? Girlfriend? I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry...”

Bigwig: “No, it's alright. She's...we're not together. She's a good friend. Lucy's her name. Lucy Dewfur. She's a survivor of Woundwort's cult. She's not looking for a relationship right now, as she's still recovering from what she suffered. I'd never impose on a doe like that.”

Judy: “...Oh. Well, that's very considerate of you. And I hope she's doing well.”

Bigwig: “Yes, very well. You'd like her, I think. If you ever find yourself on the downs, let me know and I'll introduce you.”

…

Bigwig: “'Out of my jurisdiction.' Why call me here, then? I didn't come all the way across a bloody ocean so that I could sit in an office and talk about a case that I have the most experience in out of literally anyone in the world! I need to be out there in the field! I have been chasing this psychopath for over a year now! Frith and Inle, why do you Americans have to be so stubborn?!”

Nick: “Well, to be fair, if we came over to your country as consultants and demanded the lead on some big international case, you'd probably have the same response.”

Bigwig: “I didn't ask for your opinion, hombie!”

Judy: “Hey! Chief, I understand that you're frustrated with the no fieldwork rule. I get it, I really do. But taking it out on my partner and calling him racial slurs is highly inappropriate, and we won't stand for it here at the ZPD!”

Nick: “Well, thanks, Carrots. I thought that name sounded insulting, but I honestly had no idea why.”

…

Nick: “Admit it, Carrots, you like that bigoted, bedheaded bunny.”

Judy: “I am a consummate professional. I respect Chief Thlayli, despite his flaws, and I assure you, I would never view him with anything less than absolute professionalism.”

Nick: “Right, right, nothing less. Buuuuut maybe something more? Hmm, hmm?”

Judy: “Can we please just focus on the case?”

…

Nick: “So this El-a-rare-rah is basically your biggest bunny folk hero?”

Judy: “Okay, first of all, it's El-ahrairah. Second, we do not call him a 'bunny.' He's a paragon among rabbits; the very first of our kind. He's the forefather of rabbit culture. To refer to him as a bunny would be like walking up to the president and saying, 'Hey, dude, what up, homie!'”

Nick: “Okay, Carrots, I'll make you a deal. I'll never call your rabbit hero a bunny again if you promise to never do whatever that was again.”

…

Woundwort: “They sent...a doe...to catch me? Heh, losing your touch, Thlayli? Have to send the does in instead?”

Nick: “Carrots, mind if I get offended on your behalf?”

Judy: “I think I can handle being offended on my own, but thanks.”

Bigwig: “And if I recall, Woundwort, it was the work of several does that exposed you in the first place. You're right, I couldn't have done it without them.”

Woundwort: “Nor without a fox, apparently.”

Bigwig: “Well...what can I say? I've learned a lot since being here. A fox, as it happens, is an invaluable part of an investigation such as this. He thinks outside the box in ways I've never even seen my old pal Blackberry do. I'm quite glad to have him here, thank you.”

Nick: “No...thank you.”

…

Bigwig: “ZedPD.”

Nick: “ZPD.”

Bigwig: “Zed.”

Nick: “Zee!”

Judy: “Okay, you two! Po-tay-to, po-tah-to! Break it up before I call Chief Bogo!”

…

Bogo: “Chief Thlayli, we truly do appreciate all your help. Thank you, from all of us at the ZedPD.”

Bigwig: (to Nick) “Ha!”

Nick: *facepalm*

Bogo: “Drat it all, now you've got me saying it! And after I spent three years trying to break that habit!”