#can someone make an edit about our toxic drama queens to this song

[scarefox]

This one goes out to weasel boy the crown prince

[banchoaniki]

Multiples of 4 then ☠

4: Talk show host: Imma be real w you I havent watched a talk show since attack of the show on g4 and that got cancelled years ago 8: Yankee candle scent: Fresh Balsam Fir. Smells like christmas and being cozy. Pine scents in general are god tier 12: Thing to cook: Anything that puts a smile on the face of those who eat it. Or Steak, Mashed Potatoes and Asparagus. Its easy, nutritious, and delicious. (That’d make a good dating profile header) 16: Book: Hard question. I’d have to go with Colorless Tsukuru and His Years of Pilgrimage by Haruki Murakami. 20: Holiday: Thanksgiving! I was born on it, so I have to like it. Other than that, toss up between Halloween and Christmas. 24: Movie: Uhhhhhhh, for live action, its a toss up between A Clockwork Orange and Apocalypse Now. For animated, Mind Game 28: Band: I dont follow a ton of bands, so Death Grips I guess. Its not like I dont listen to other music, but its mostly individual songs as opposed to deep diving into their discography 32: Athlete: I dont follow sports dude. Maybe like Usain Bolt cause he also has a pet tortoise like me.  36: Vehicle: Triump Bonneville T-100 40: Last person I got mad at: Uhh my former friend who’s girlfriend left him for being a piece of shit basically 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: I’m not missing anyone a whole ton rn. Wish we could meet tho jaz! 48: Ever been in love: Of course, its great and terrible 52: My room is: Fairly messy rn but I’ll clean up soon.  56: Favorite web site: Certainly not tumblr dot com. Idk dude probably like youtube cause I spend a lot of time watching videos or listening to podcasts.  60: I lose all respect for people who: Treat their partners like crap 64: My friends are: Great people! Things have been getting better for a lot of people in my circle of friends recently, and they really deserve it! 68: The worst sound in the world: Nails on chalkboard.  72: Today: Pretty ok day. Need to get a few things under control and still need to work out a bit, but studied hard and met up w a classmate to work on a project together! 76: Right now I am talking to: No one in particular, but ive been talking to friends throughout the day 80: The first person i talked to today was: Probably my dad when he woke me up 84: People call me: a lot of things im sure. Depends on who you ask.  88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: Connection to where I live. My family’s owned my house for almost 100 years now, living elsewhere lacks that certain je ne sais quoi 92: Got a peircing: Never! maybe in the future tho... 96: Changed a diaper: also never! didn’t have any siblings or a close connected family growing up so I never had to. When I’m a dad, I’m sure I will though 100: Cried in front of someone: Oh jeez, not really sure. Maybe a few months ago, but I can’t recall what for 104: The future: Its filled with infinite possibilities, I just have to work for a future I want. I’m not too worried about stability, but you never know. Always try to have contingency plans for your contingency plans.  108: Designer Clothes: Generally overpriced trash. I’d rather buy from a local artisan that makes clothes specifically for me. Not like I don’t shop for clothes or like looking good, but theres a lot of issues in the fashion industry that I take umbrage with and like to look for alternatives.  112: Facebook: Boomerbook is convenient website that I use on occasion but I find to be fairly toxic, like most social media, so i rarely post on it. I just use the messenger app to talk with friends. 116: Reality TV: Utter trash! There are a billion other ways to spend your time that are more productive and beneficial to yourself and others that getting caught up in some fake drama with celebrities.  120: Gay Marriage: I don’t believe any kind of marriage should be regulated by the government, as its a religious sacrament. If churches want to allow it, that’s their prerogative that I won’t infringe on, but that’s in an ideal world. As it stands, I don’t have any strong feels for or against it, insofar that I think most marriages are fairly toxic.  124: Disney or Six Flags: Didney Worl 128: Manicure or Pedicure: I’ll take both, thanks 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Whomst’d’ve?  136: Hillary or Obama: Both are genuinely terrible people like most, if not all, government officials in Washington.  140: Mac or PC: I built my own PC but iPads do be kinda fresh tho I can see why people who don’t have the same hobbies or interests prefer macs, their visual design blows most PCs out of the water, and they’re functional for work and video editing. They’re obviously overpriced for the performance, but you’re buying it for the label and the well designed UI (generally, theres obviously some UI designs that are/were less than great by apple) 144: Oranges or Apples: While I like oranges, I FUCKING LOVE apples. So yeah, apples, particularly Fuji apples.  148: Summer or winter: Winter. I live in Los Angeles. Our winters are mild and maybe drizzley. Our summers are hellish. Easy choice. 152: Phone or Online: Uh I mean I like talking on the phone but texting or instant messaging is super convenient and, really, a very different form of communication that I engage in more.  156: Orbs: Do i believe in orbs? What kind of orbs? idk dude this is very nondescript and im too lazy to research this. Orbs as a geometric object do exist yes. Jury is still out on whatever the fuck this is asking tho 160: Soul mates: A distinct possibility that I’d love to be true 164: Heaven: I’m catholic, pretty sure I have to believe in it.  168: Luck: Yeah, I believe in it, but I also believe we make our own luck most times. 172: Are you taller than your mom? yeah shes like 5′2  176: Last YouTube video watched: Sure hope you like smooth japanese jazz fusion  https://youtu.be/6GEI3PpXEAo 180: Marriage is: A great responsibility I hope to be ready for one day. It can be incredible and life-affirming or it can be soul crushing if you rush into things or just have a bad partner. I don’t mean to be cynical, I genuinely believe its a beautiful thing, but so many marriages today end up horribly, so I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t afraid of it at the same time.  184: Xbox or ps3: Whichever game console can give me a better user experience with better games and services. Right now that’s playstation, but I sincerely hope microsoft steps up to the plate next gen.  188: My bed is: A queen. Kinda messy rn.  192: I am allergic to: Nothing in particular 196: My eye color is: Green! I’m actually pretty proud of them, its the rarest eye color in the world, so its part of what makes me who I am.  200: My crush’s name is:  Jaz (no homo)  But also I’m not single so I don’t necessarily have any rn

PS: I sincerely apologize for this wall of text y’all 

[diamondsaregold]

Zig x MC - A Playlist

Background Info: In the spirit of slowly returning to sharing things with the world, I thought I’d post the playlist that I’ve spent approximately one month procrastinating on diligently working on. 

Started as a 30 song playlist, and cut down to 8 tracks. All the highs and lows of our entire The Freshman Book 3 relationship with Zig, with lots of angst and introspection. Some songs pertain to Zig x MC; others to each individual character.

Photos taken from Pexels, and edited by me in Photoshop. Hope you enjoy listening! 💕 Click on each song title for the link. I highly recommend listening to each song while looking at the visuals, lyrics, and analysis. 😉

1) “Heart Out” The 1975   An upbeat, atmospheric alt rock anthem to teenage love, personal issues, and monotony.

And once we started having friends round You created a television of your mouth ----- You got something to say Why don’t you speak it aloud, instead of living in your head? It’s always the same Why don’t you take your heart out, instead of living in your head? ----- It’s just you and I tonight Why don’t you figure your heart out?

We are reeling from suitemate drama and uncertainty when we stumble upon the enigmatic barista at the Hartfeld coffee shop. He shoots us knowing smirks, flirtatious remarks, and oh, it is working. The curve of his half smile, the curl of his deep hair, the heat of his toffee-warm skin washes over us. Risk is nothing when there’s endless possibilities in his gaze.

The start of the quarter is the perfect time to step away from the televisions (or books) inside our minds and take risks, to ground ourselves in new realities. Zig is something new, and very real.

2) “Smoke Filled Room” Mako A tropical, uplifting EDM track about the unstoppable girl who walks into chaos with her chin held high.

Isn’t it a little late? Shouldn’t you fly away? ----- Take a step around the room And every head keeps turning too Little dove, you fight ‘em back Show ‘em you’re so much more than that ----- Walk into a smoke filled room. Oh no one could keep their eyes off you. Have a little drink or two Oh how could you be that girl I knew?

Soaring vocals brim with adrenaline, courage, and tenderness. That night, we head out into a strange world of dusky romances and dangerous people. Yet somehow, we always prove our past selves wrong.

Fragile. We walk into the Gutter Kitten’s crowded show only to be met with icy stares (and ice queens). We stand our ground, telling off the rude band members and turning up the charm to an 11 with our coffeeshop cutie. We fight ‘em all back.

Magnetic. In our “little black dress” at Madison’s birthday party, Zig is transfixed. He craves complexity, the satisfaction of stripping apart a problem layer by layer. Our fire, our loyalty, our three dimensionality captivates this lover of permutations, logic. In the smoky magic of our late night bar escapade, he takes us apart. Slowly. Tenderly.

3) “Livewire” Oh Wonder A poignant, sparse piano and beat-driven ballad, contemplating two individuals who have become intertwined.

Counting my losses as I let them go. Heavy the water as I sink below. ----- I’ve been pretending all my shots are blown. Cover my heart up, never let it show. I’m shaking it off to find a higher low. ----- So hold me when I fall away from the lines. When I’m losing it all, when I’m wasting the light. And hold me when I put my heart in your hands. ----- Oh, won’t you be my livewire? Make me feel like I’m set on fire.

Covering up hearts, igniting fires, and letting walls down: how fitting that the themes here tie in with those of the other songs. As the relentless yearning to explore one another in dimly lit rooms and memorize each other’s complexities simmers down, our relationship spins into something deeper.

Grazing touches and gentle murmurs become even more fleeting, soft. When we hold each other tightly, slight frame on top of strong, sturdy, in the backseat of his old car, we realize that somehow within the span of weeks, we’ve become inseparable. 

His confessions topple our own walls. As the night goes on, we mold ourselves into each other. Our dependence on one another is intoxicating.

4) “Breaking the Habit” Linkin Park A hypnotic, downtempo rock song that depicts the gritty reality of addiction, dangerous habits, and resentment.

Memories consume Like opening the wound I’m picking me apart again ----- Clutching my cure I tightly lock the door I try to catch my breath again ----- I’ll paint it on the walls Cause I’m the one at fault ----- I don’t know what’s worth fighting for So, I’m breaking the habit tonight

Things begin to spin out of control. One moment, he’s brittle, too quick to snap, to accuse others of false play, to push them away. In a split second, he’s soft again, murmuring gentle reassurances and apologies. We cannot understand his volatility. Fresh from the burn of an unfair, one-sided fight, we crack under the pressure. Everything gushes out.

The last thing we see is his back, taut with hard-earned, unwanted strength, tense with years of the strain of helplessness as his loved ones are damaged permanently. He has been cornered for so much of his life that running is a luxury. For him, the anger gnaws and carves away at his insides. All his adrenaline, his sadness, his quick temper feeds the addictive kick. He knows no existence without it. For us, everything dries up. What hurts more, his leaving, or the ease, the relief, with which he leaves? We sink into the deep, because we don’t know if he’ll be coming back. If he even wants to.

What we don’t know if that he’s the one tearing himself apart again.

5) “Nothing” The Script A stricken, pop rock ballad lamenting a damaged relationship and one man’s anguish.

Oh, sometimes love’s intoxicating. Oh, you’re coming down, your hands are shaking. When you realize there’s no one waiting. ----- Cause I’m shouting your name all over town. I’m swearing if I go there now. I could change her mind turn it all around. ----- So I, dialed her number and confessed to her I’m still in love, but all I heard Was nothing. ----- I wanted words, but all I heard was nothing.

We did not get the chance to see Zig’s perspective after MC leaves for California. For me, this song fills in the blank spaces. I wonder what emotions must have been running through his mind. Resentment? Regret? I imagine him playing the fight over and over again, and beating himself up for lashing out.

We know that whatever he felt, it was strong enough to compel him to dial MC’s number--and, to be completely crushed when she ignored his call. It was the final straw: the confirmation that MC did not care about him. Her silence hurt infinitely more than a punch in the face. And so, the walls go up. He hunkers himself down behind defensiveness once again.

But to finally find someone who loved him for who he was, and to lose her in an instant, stings. He knows that things could have gone differently.

6) “Poison” luhx. A stirring, indie and electronica track about apprehension, toxic relationships and choices, and the road to self-forgiveness.

I’ve been on either side of letting someone down and I don’t know which one is worse ----- Your toxin takes its time to settle in When you said how much my skin reminded of home Time seemed to numb my sins ----- I laid down all my walls so you could lay here next to me I know now... ----- Too much of anything is poison And it’s laced upon your lips But the cure is in the venom, so I keep on coming back My soul is stained with your poison

Admittedly, this toxic relationship is a bit too dark for our reunion. Yet, there is something promising about the song’s raw honesty.  It speaks of newfound wisdom, awareness, all qualities that make for a future of healing. “Poison” then captures Zig’s relationship with his past, his demons, and his journey to self acceptance.

Anger was Zig’s poison. It gave him what justification he needed to hate the world that dealt him this hand, to fight back against bullies, to have tasted and now expect rejection, and to avoid disappointment by putting up barriers around all of his relationships. In time, his numbness to his own aspirations became part of him.

Too much anger, however, and everything crashed. Inside, all he wanted was to be free. To believe in himself and his dreams once again. When he first met us in the coffee shop, he caught a glimpse of that brimming courage he once had, many years ago.

He fears that he is broken beyond repair. Perhaps this anger is now laced within his veins, toxic vines twisting around his heart, skin stained with bitter rejection.

There is beauty in his fear and newfound awareness. We are hopeful.

7) “Love Somebody” Ta-Ku ft. Wafia An evocative, soulful indie-edm ballad and duet whose lyrics speak of a relationship on the mend.

Darling understand, my faith wavers when I can’t see the end And I know you truly believe that our love will keep us from the edge ----- I know we’ll never get it right We only ever seem to fight Anyone else would walk away When you love somebody then you stay

The end-of-the-quarter dance dazzles with the promise of new beginnings. To our joy, Zig is about to embark on his college journey! And, amid blushing and stammering confessions, he’ll do so with us--his favorite girl--by his side.

Under the blossoms of the fairy light-strung cherry trees, we twirl about on the dance floor, hearts light and gazes warm. He can’t stop staring at us, but this time, he knows that we’re his. And he, ours.

The future can come with all that it brings. As his hands make their home on our waist, we are content to press our face into his broad shoulder and just breathe. His hope is sweet as the air.

8) “Arrest Me” Shy Girls ft. Tei Shi A sultry, electronica ode to the battle for dominance and waves of pleasure.

You got me tripping on my walk like I’m a novice. Something about you on the top, if I’m honest Running in circles around me, cuz you know I love it ----- I’m gonna let you tie me up tonight And you can read my rights, if that’s alright I’ll loosen up your ropes and let you bite I wanna feel your touch ----- Arrest me

Surrendering and asserting have never tasted so perfectly together. Zig makes us crave something deeper, and we can’t control the hitch of our breath when he crumbles under our touch. How is it that we render him speechless anywhere we end up? There is heat everywhere. His gaze smolders, sends one quake after another shuddering through our pinned frame. 

After, we lay together, nestled together among the bedsheets, his arm still draped over us. His hands feel rough, but his caresses gentle. As much as we love the storm, we relish the calm. The steady rising of his chest, his soft snore, almost childlike, as we drift away.

Whenever I make playlists for characters or stories, I always try to base the songs off of the feeling, rather than the actual lyrics. “Smoke Filled Room” and “Poison” felt the most ‘Zig’ to me; “Heart Out”  the least. Regardless, I hope you liked my rambling musics and sound bites! Now back to my exam preparation... 😭

[fashiontrendin-blog]

Nicki Minaj Versus Herself: How The Queen Became Her Own Worst Enemy

http://fashion-trendin.com/nicki-minaj-versus-herself-how-the-queen-became-her-own-worst-enemy/

Nicki Minaj Versus Herself: How The Queen Became Her Own Worst Enemy

We’re very concerned about Nicki Minaj.

Within a matter of weeks, she’s managed to start a beef with a 6-month-old, compare herself to Harriet Tubman and expose Tyga’s hairline troubles. And that’s not even the half of it. Sis is spiraling. The long, messy, rollout for her new album “Queen” is evidence of that.

For months, Minaj’s social media presence went dark. She lay low and minded her business, presumably working on her album. But when the Queen returned, it seemed as though more mess than music followed. The “Chun-Li” rapper dragged her boots through the mud and came in the house kicking up shit on her journey to prove to everybody ― including, it seemed at times, herself ― that she reigns supreme. All the while, she’s made it clear that she’s seeking vengeance against haters who “get on their fucking keyboards and make me the bad guy” (even though in “Street Fighter,” Chun-Li was a 12-year-old cop fighting for justice).  

But the shooter’s aim has been off — and folks who have nothing to do with the alleged sabotage of Nicki Minaj are getting hit in the crossfire. In one breath she touts women’s empowerment, in the other she slut-shames sex workers and helps pink-slip journalists who mildly critique her. She muddied her valid critiques of Spotify’s lack of promotion for her album when she accused Travis Scott of using Kylie Jenner and their child, Stormi, to artificially boost his sales and prevent her album from reaching the top spot in the process. She unapologetically teamed up with a rapper who pleaded guilty to sexual misconduct with a child ― not just for a song, but to open her tour.

Despite her bizarre decisions, we can’t deny that Minaj is still, by far, the best female rapper in the game. Her legacy, for better or worse, is unmatched. She has opened doors for many women rappers after her. She’s shown the world that you can absolutely be a woman and make bank in hip-hop. You can be better than the boys and, maybe most importantly, you can write your own dope-ass rhymes.

But everyone is wondering, what the hell is she doing right now?

Zeba Blay joined Julia Craven and Taryn Finley for a special edition of “Run That Back,” in which we discuss Minaj’s rights and wrongs, the challenges black women in hip-hop face, and how her talent really does make her the Queen ― even if her recent actions say otherwise.

Above: “Itty Bitty Piggy,” from Minaj’s 2009 mixtape “Beam Me Up Scotty.”

Julia: Oh how far we’ve fallen.

Taryn: It’s really sad because on any given day I can still spit every bar on this song. Not saying that sis is less talented, but her attitude has really made me not even want to sit through “Queen.”

Zeba: So what I’m trying to figure out though is… what happened? Like what’s going on?

Julia: I’m not sure. But I do think it’s interesting that Nicki didn’t get the whole “she’s just doing it to sell albums” bullshit that Kanye got. Granted, I don’t think that’s the case with either one of them, but I thought it was fascinating how the public at large immediately wrote her off as a bozo even though she is the most influential rapper of the last decade.

I do wanna be clear though: I, too, think she’s a bozo.

Zeba: I’m not really sure what to think about her whole album rollout. But I will say that it’s very interesting watching a woman rapper at the top of her game spiral. Is that rude? Oh well. It’s VERY interesting.

Taryn: I don’t think it’s rude. I think it’s accurate. She’s spiraling in a way that we only expect from Nicki, though. Through this entire rollout (which felt long af), lots of shit she did raised my eyebrows but I wasn’t necessarily surprised that it came from her, unfortunately. She was spiraling before “Queen” dropped and I think she was genuinely disappointed when the numbers came in and she wasn’t at the top like she thought she would be. Then shit just got even uglier (and it was already ugly af).

Julia: My initial response is to say she’s a lunatic, but we too often write women off as “crazy.” I think she’s just a clown and has always been a damn clown, and when her clown-ass album didn’t sell like her clown ass thought it would, the clown popped up out the clown car. Her antics are showing us who she really is. She’s clearly not a feminist, based on her comments about sex workers and the fact that she got Wanna Thompson fired for a valid critique of her music.

Yet, she’s going on this whole run about being blackballed because she’s a black woman ― but look at what you say about other black women.

She has a very rigid “There can only be one” mentality, and while I understand the desire to blame the industry for that ― and they carry a good chunk of the blame ― Nicki is 35 years old and old enough to know better.

Zeba: I definitely feel like a large part of all this drama, and part of why I can’t totally dismiss Nicki, is the fact that she’s genuinely trying to navigate how to age as a woman in hip-hop. When you’ve been the “only one” for so long, specifically the only “sexy” one, and suddenly there’s a whole new crop of girls who are younger than you, sexier than you, and also have bars, it can probably feel like the world is coming to an end. What’s frustrating though is that she’s behaving like she feels threatened, and she shouldn’t.

She IS the queen, but she’s not acting like it.

Julia: She shol’ ain’t.

Taryn: She ain’t acting like it cause she’s acting like a clown. I get it, you’re a sex symbol in this male-dominated industry that relies heavily on objectifying women and acting as a boys club. Women in rap have to go the extra mile to protect themselves, and a lot of times that looks like making most of your decisions based off self-interest. But this ain’t it.

At some point, she got what’s good for her own self confused with the greater good. I partially blame the fucked-up label she’s signed to for that, cause they all are trash ass people over there at Young Money. But you can’t use the tools of toxic masculinity when they work for you and remain quiet about it until shit doesn’t go your way and then play the feminist card. Especially when you’re both actively and passively shitting on other women in the game. It don’t work like that.

Julia: Nicki is also at a point in her career where she doesn’t have to be a sex symbol if she doesn’t want to be. She can do whatever she wants at this point.

Zeba: True. I think she genuinely enjoys being sexy and I won’t take that away from her. It’s frustrating though when in one breath she will praise taking ownership of her sexuality and in the next shame other women for doing it… Confusing, to say the least.

Julia: That part. It’s bizarre. Like is it “Oochie Wally” or “One Mic”? And she’s so resistant to evolution. It’s manifesting in an ugly way.

Zeba: I mean, she got that woman fired for stating the truth… where’s the growth? No shade, but honestly.

Taryn: What growth? At this point, I think Nicki is OK with being stagnant. She’s more worried about the numbers than evolving.

Julia: “Queen” sounded like a shit version of “Roman Reloaded.”

Taryn: “Queen” should’ve been called “Stunt Queen” cause the lengths she’s going to promote it are embarrassing at this point. I still haven’t listened and I don’t really feel compelled to.

Julia: I’m now a former fan. But before the drop when I was an older casual fan, I wanted something like “Lemonade” from her, something grown. I’m 26, beloved. I wanna hear about why I should love myself in spite of everything that tells me I shouldn’t.

“Queen” could have been a good album if she focused more on growing as an artist and less on making it clear to younger girls that she’s the queen, which is something they already knew and treated as fact. No one popped up treating her, say, the way she treated Lil’ Kim.

Taryn: Whew. Ain’t that the truth!

Zeba: Here’s my thing: It would be nice to get a “Lemonade”-like moment from Nicki, but I also feel she’s not obligated to give us that if she’s not in that space or if, frankly, she just doesn’t want to. She’s within her right to make whatever she wants to make. The thing is, though, that she has to accept that we’re in an era where there is potential for more women in rap who are willing to do something different, or the same, or whatever.

I guess what I’m saying is that she needs to accept that it’s OK for her to not be “the only one,” she needs to accept that people might appreciate other female rappers more than her, and that’s OK. Like, you don’t see Beyonce subtweeting Rihanna or Normani or any of the other girls in her wake. Like, she’s gucci. She understands that what she has to offer is special enough that she doesn’t have to compare herself to other, younger stars.

Honestly, I feel like Nicki’s behavior is so disappointing because it’s the kind of shit that we as black women have to navigate in our own careers and lives. And it’s just not fun seeing someone give in to the pettiness. But I see that she’s human.

Julia: You being very nice. She also shouldn’t expect us to treat “Queen” like it is something on “Lemonade’s” level, which is what she’s doing. It’s odd that she doesn’t see how her, Cardi, Rico, BbyMutha, etc. can exist in the same space and serve vastly different purposes.

Like I can’t rage to Cardi but Rico?! I JUST WENT TO BENIHANA AND I’M SMOKING SHEETS AND FUNNEL. YOU A WANNABE, WHO WANNA BE, I’M ONLY BOUT THE COMMAS!

Different purposes. All dope.

Taryn: I agree with that, though, Zeba. Nicki doesn’t owe us shit, but she has to recognize the consequences of that at a time like this. I really enjoyed “Barbie Dreams” because she’ll sit there and namedrop rappers she either has or would like to fuck. Men do that all the time, so I’m here for any women who can flip that on its head. HOWEVER, I can’t sit there and listen to you talk say “how my pussy taste” for an entire album. Range is so important, and though Nicki is the best for now, her range is limited. Which means my patience for her bullshit is, too.

Zeba: It’s really eerie, by the way, how people sleep on Young M.A.

Taryn: People sleep on Young M.A because they can’t get past their internalized homophobia, but that’s a whole ’nother convo. Young M.A has bars and it’s a damn shame that people focus more on how she identifies than her music.

Julia: Boop. I also think she’s flailing under the consequences of her opening the door for other women rappers. These young lads exist in such concentration because Nicki opened doors for them to exist. But it’s like she wants to reign over them all instead of realizing that they’re her competition.

She’s basically Erik Killmonger.

Zeba: Except Killmonger was right.

Julia: bhdjabcedfghdgfhehf

Taryn: BRUH. LMAO. I really just want Nicki to sit there and eat her rice and leave us alone. You didn’t get the No. 1 album, you didn’t sell out shows off of said album and Beyoncé probably didn’t respond to your last text. That’s OK, girl. Go back in the lab and try again but leave Harriet Tubman out of it.

Taryn: INFjkerhufjerngwbr

ANGELA WEISS via Getty Images

Zeba: Is this three black women shitting on Nicki Minaj or is it an “Iyanla: Fix My Life” moment? I say the latter.

Taryn: I won’t disagree with that. I also need beloved to stop supporting vile ass men. You put a whole pedophile on your album and tour. I need to know what she’s smoking so I’m never in the vicinity. Like, whatever is in this… I don’t want it. Ever.

pic.twitter.com/mIgdK1n5Cc

— QUEEN (@NICKIMINAJ) August 26, 2018

Julia: All that smoke she won’t inhaling, Lord.

Zeba: What’s everyone’s favorite Nicki verse tho lol?

Taryn: “Monster.” Hands down. All her hottest verses are on other people’s tracks. Idk why but it is what it is.

Zeba: “Monster” is a given, yeah. I really do love “Want Some More” tho.

Taryn: “Want Some More” is for the birds (i.e. me).

Taryn: “Lookin Ass” was solid, too.

Zeba: TRUE. Damn. See, I’d much rather be talking about her music than about any of this other trash. But she did it to haself.

Julia: “Lookin Ass” was very solid. My fave is “Blazin’” off “Pink Friday.”

Taryn: It’s wild because she really would be rapping circles around anybody regardless of gender if she would just stop inviting drama into her iPhone.

Julia: How could it be lil’ me had the power to be the best B in the league? Yeah, inevitably. ― UGH. Why she do this to herself?! Now I’m listening to “Blazin’” and I’m sad.

I’m on a different type of high. Heroin. Put on my cape and hit the sky. Heroine.

Taryn: It’s shit like this that makes me forget how good she is.

Julia: Not gon’ lie. It hurt me when we found out she was the corny one after her and Meek split up. Before that, we didn’t know. Thought it was him. But, alas, Meek is out here campaigning for criminal justice reform and Nicki is doing this… whatever this is.

Taryn: We live in a world where Safaree goes high while Nicki goes low. I’m still confused about what the Lord is trying to tell me about 2018. Safaree literally told sis “no one else on your level acts like this.” How is Safaree making more sense than you, girl? I really need you to take one of those Eat, Pray, Love trips. Maybe to Prague, I know how you like it out there.

Julia: Eye think God is telling us to go home and eat some mangoes and mind our business.

YOU BITCHES CAN’T EVEN SPELL… TO FREEDOM

Taryn: I ain’t mad at that. *Takes a bite*

Zeba: All jokes aside, I really do think she’s important to the culture. And I really DO want her to win. BUT I ALSO WANT CARDI TO WIN #feminism.

Julia: I want Cardi to win and I want Nicki to leave Cardi the fuck alone.

Taryn: Really, cause I want Cardi and Kulture to whoop her ass. Stormi can get a lick in, too.

Julia: And you know Kulture can fight. Idk about Lil Stormi.

Zeba: To any Barbz who may be reading this: me no curr

Julia: I don’t give a whole fuck.

Taryn: I block Barbz because I have bills to pay and I don’t have time to be arguing with a whole bunch of teenagers.

Julia: I don’t argue with my man, much less a bunch of wayward churren.

Taryn: I like peace in my home and on my MacBook. I ain’t compromising that for a whole bunch of kids who still shit yellow. And them kids ain’t mine???? Please.

Julia: Who still shit yellow.

Taryn: Babies. People who don’t have bills to pay. Barbz.

Sean Zanni via Getty Images

Julia: Also, we haven’t talked about Wanna and what she did to her.

Taryn: Fuck Nicki Minaj for getting in her feelings and DMing Wanna off of a mild critique. You claim to be for women, then you go and do shit like that. Then when she screenshots your message, you go and get her fired from Karen Civil’s outlet. You’re fucked up. That’s not some queenly shit. That’s some ugly ass shit. I think that was the point when I told myself that I was completely off her ass.

Julia: That’s part one of what did it for me. Wanna’s critique was mild and incredibly valid. For Nicki to jump bad like that in the DMs and then allow her stans to attack Wanna for days? How do you call yourself a queen or a feminist when you’ve played such a significant role in blackballing another black woman over, as you yourself have said, “having balls” to say what’s on her mind? It was grossly hypocritical and it made my skin crawl.

Then I saw the videos of Remy Ma talking about how Nicki would threaten to not walk red carpets if Remy was invited. Nicki has shown herself to be a convenient, self-serving feminist. I just can’t rock with someone who does this to other black women simply because they can’t handle criticism.

Taryn: Literally alladat. It’s a damn shame because you want to root for her, but she forces your hand then calls it “hating” when people call her out. It’s dumb.

Julia: It’s a clusterfuck of Minaj-driven bullshit.

Zeba: And I mean, other than her music or her behavior toward other women, there are some really valid criticisms. For instance, her working with Takesinfk69. Although, to be fair, I wonder how many male rappers have received similar scrutiny for working with/praising abusive rappers.

Julia: Male rappers haven’t gotten nearly as much criticism for working with abusers, sadly. It’s always troublesome and disheartening regardless of who the rapper is (Kendrick saying he’d pull his music from Spotify over them yanking down XXXTentacion’s discography made me gag because I’m such a fan).

For Nicki, specifically, her working with Checkcashingplace94 bothers me because she’s a woman who has spoken out against child abuse in the past. Yet here she is working with someone who pleaded guilty to “use of a child in a sexual performance.” It’s maddening to see someone go from being outspoken on this issue to making a child abuser her tour’s opening act.

Zeba: Is this the price one has to pay for being “relevant?”

Julia: I want to say “no,” but truthfully I have no idea. Abusers dominate the industry so idk. Still, there’s many a black woman rapper she could have picked to work with or open her tour. So why him?

She’s yet to answer why she chose takemeouttotheballgame86 over, say, City Girls or Megan Thee Stallion or Maliibu Miitch or Cuban Doll. All of whom slap harder than iusetoomuchhairdye52.

Zeba: WELP. What did you think of her recent interview with Elle, in which she talked about the perils of thottin on the gram?

Julia: I just thought it was funny how she’s shaming women for, in a way, doing the same thing she’s been doing. There’s nothing wrong with showing your body. There’s nothing wrong with choosing to do sex work. But she made it into this weird, shame-y thing when she could have simply stuck to the consequences of selling sex appeal that she’s experienced within the industry. Instead she made it about women exchanging sex for coin, even though in her own way (with sex appeal and fantasy) she’s done that. Then she circled back and made it known that she’s “snobby” and not “easy.”

It made my ass itch, as Taryn would say.

Zeba: Yeah it was especially awkward given she had just dropped that track “Rich Sex.”

Taryn: Julia, you know why Nicki doesn’t put other women rappers on her tour. We all know why. Why she ― and anyone else for that matter ― decides to go out of her way to support admitted pedophiles, that’s still beyond me.

But what’s sad to me is that folks are quicker to write her off for clapping back at every mention of her name on Twitter than for putting her name next to Tamagotchi69’s, not only on a song, but on tour. The former will cause her to fall from grace quicker than the latter. That’s sickening. And it says a lot about the majority of hip-hop fans.

I just don’t see it for sis anymore. I don’t like her. And I’m fine with that. I just want her to leave us the hell alone.

Julia: I, specifically, want her to leave HuffPost alone. Imagine being the most influential rapper of the last decade and you’re coming at news orgs for writing straight news about you. Beyoncé would never.

Taryn: She had it on her heart, I guess. And Cocksucka of the Week ain’t a bad award, imo. I’m flattered.

Julia: I like dick so I’m OK with it. It’s just that the piece wasn’t even critical. It was a straight news write-up. There was no reporter-inserted criticism of her at all. It was a very standard piece. But, again, she can’t handle any negative press, even though there wouldn’t be any negative press if she wasn’t generating it. I mean, for God’s sake, you came for a 6-month-old baby.

Taryn: A fresh baby. That’s why I’m saying y’all can keep whatever that bitch is smoking. You made innocent people defend Kylie Jenner. How dare you, Nicholas!

Julia: People legit had to defend Kylie Jenner against a black woman. That’s unforgivable.

Taryn: I’ll never let her live that down tbh.

Julia: Then to accuse Travis Scott of boosting his album sales… Girl, yo album ain’t sell because, like you, it’s all over the damn place. The Barbz can keep her trending but they aren’t streaming the album or buying tour tickets. Clearly.

Taryn: Honestly, it’s OK for her to be mad about allegedly getting shitted on by Spotify and not getting the numbers she expected. It’s legitimately OK to be in your feelings over not winning. We all have been there. But at the end of the day, you’re still out here on top, girl. Stop acting like Azealia Banks. You kicking up shit on people who don’t deserve it and that’s not gonna change a damn thing. Besides, numbers and awards ain’t everything, nor are they an accurate reflection of cultural impact. If that really was the case, “Lemonade” would’ve won album of the year.

Julia: That. Part. Her comments about Spotify not blasting her album were 100 percent correct and valid. When “Scorpion” dropped, you saw Drake everywhere. It was insane. He was on every playlist, the album was splashed, etc. And Nicki should have gotten that same treatment, considering that she’s a higher-caliber rapper than he is.

But, alas, her validity was overshadowed by her accusing Travis Scott and Kylie Jenner and their kid of boosting sales.

This conversation has been edited.

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