#can improve on and ur all so talented as well 🧡🧡

[alienaiver]

Chapter 1: miles

Chapter summary: your father has passed and you must stand up with your head held high as you accept your fate - you mustn’t show the overwhelm on your face. as you meet your new advisor for the first time, hope sprouts in the deepest part of you.

Warnings for this chapter: mentions of parental death, i’m exploring grief but only mildly as it is not entirely the main focus. Otherwise, it’s fluffy and world-building-ish

Wordcount: 8.7k words

Chapter content: fluff, sfw, fantasy AU, royalty AU, mild angst, genderneutral reader (so neutral that both men and women can also insert themselves), poc and bodytype! friendly reader, no use of y/n, tense and offical language from idiot to idiot, budding romance

notes: here is the first chapter!! i gotta admit, im actually very nervous about this. i know its good!!! but like!! does it make sense? to other people? this was honestly an imprompto idea i came up with and decided “heck, itll be good practice for my own fantasy book” and then. sat down LMFAO. ive never written medieval fantasy like this before and i think thats where my nervousness stems from! i also made sure to make the reader as gender neutral as possible since i usually only stumble upon afab!readers in fantasy and i wanted to provide some more <33333

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Truth be told you were never the proper heir you were supposed to have been at 25 years of age. You’d already assumed the title Crown-in-Waiting at the age of 17, marking the official beginning of your training to become the ruler of Karasuno Kingdom.

But with a young father in prime health, the start of your title’s work had been slow. He’d seen no reason to hurry with the preparations of you taking over the throne as he saw himself with many years to rule still. Your education, of course, began in childhood and you were familiar with communications between the territories and you were even with land to steward already. The peace treaty between Karasuno Kingdom and the Nekoma States four years ago were done by yours truly, heralded as such in stories, albeit it was with your crown’s supervision. You’ve been talked of as the Bringer of Serenity by the Farseers and even in the songs written by the minstrels, a Catalyst for Unity. The titles make heat flush to your face and a desire to hide your face in your hands emerge from you, but you’ve been very grateful with the positive tone your kingdom’s had with you so far even with your inexperience.

 So when tragedy strikes, you’re taken aback abruptly and the walls that’s been protecting you for your entire life crumbles around you. The physical walls of the Karasu Keep are still very much intact but that does nothing to quell the grief that emerges from deep inside of you at the news. The crown’s death is a shock to everyone from the coastal regions and well through the inland duchies and it strikes the kingdom with sorrow as it hits the keep where you’ve just spent the past few days in practical leisure, awaiting the return of your father.

You don’t understand. This was a routine trip – one to keep up the agreements between Karasuno Kingdom and the Fukurodani Empire that your father journeyed every year to show the kingdom’s appreciation of cooperation. The trading between the two kingdoms had both risen and prospered with the proper and legal routes to jewels, silks, and leathers. You grasp at the necklace around your neck with the Moonstone embedded, gifted to you by said empire as you try to control your breathing. Your drawing room’s filled with servants, all frozen and observing you horribly, unsure of how to help you handle the news that the poor errand boy came running into your quarters with mere moments ago.

“I wish to be left.” is all you can mutter out before you fall back on the armchair you rose from at the errand boy’s arrival. Everyone scrambles to leave except for your closest maidservant and dear friend, Azumane. As silence drapes over the room like a blanket, you belatedly realize you’d dropped the book you were reading on the floor – you’d probably have to search a while for the page you’d reached. You can’t seem to remember what page you’d last counted.

Azumane’s hands are holding your left, drawing circles into the palm in what he hopes is a calming gesture, “I’m so sorry for your loss, your Majesty.” he tries but you internally tut at the formality of his words. Those are words from a servant, not from a friend. And you’d like your friend at this moment.

“Oh, what am I to do, Asahi?” you ask him but you’d be surprised if he had any other answer than the one you already know. You sigh and look out the window to your left, at the unchanged scenery of the mountains that’s currently covered in the whitest snow. No one climbs them during this time of year.

He mirrors you with a sigh and it’s clear he’s struggling to hold back tears. Yours has yet to come. An official declaration has to be called, a notice to mark the Seven days of Mourning before you will have to claim the throne as the next crown. You will have to contact your father’s advisor, the knights, figure out if and where his body might be located so you can go forth with the burial on the seventh day or if you need to reschedule the mourning of the kingdom. You know the errand boy down from the kitchens and you’re convinced of the fact that he raced to inform you as soon as the runner had returned with the news. You might even have been told before your father’s advisor who stayed home from the journey, seeing as it had been a supposedly friendly meet with long-standing and positive relationships. You inhale sharply before you once again rise from the chair with a heavy look in your eyes. You must endure the entire country’s grief as a seed next to your own and handle the duties passed on to you with as much flawless grace as possible as to not rouse any mistrust with neighboring kingdoms.

                                                        ///

Curiously and almost miraculously, Sugawara has never formally been introduced to you or met you even though he’s been living in the keep almost as long as you, only short of the first 11 years of his life. You and he have even shared the same scribe tutoring you in both letters and numbers when you were younger, but somehow your ways never intertwined growing up.

 That doesn’t mean Sugawara doesn’t know you.

 You’ve always made your dutiful appearances in the royal court and the lands you’ve stewarded through the years have always described you as proper and good at handling your responsibilities. Your studies are known and remarkable throughout the lands and he’s sure that like every other bachelorette and bachelor in this land, he blushes at your gentle smiles you grace your people with. Your speeches are always bubbling over with love for your kingdom and your people and there’s no doubt in his heart that you were meant for the role you’ve been given in life. You’re a star in your own right.

 He's also been blessed personally, a few colorful times in his life as the advisor’s successor, to eye contact directly from you in court or during festivities. It’s taken everything in him always to keep it, to prolong the fortunate moment where the two of you are connected in more than just being in the same hall.

His friends have teased him that he should get used to your blazing gaze connecting with his, seeing how much you’ll be together once you become crown.

 In the Karasuno Kingdom, it is not uncommon for the royal advisor of the current crown to resign and pass over their role to their own successor when the crown changes heads. Which is also why, he thinks, that they’ve never introduced the two of you. Both the current crown himself and his advisor were sure of his long life yet, full of vitality and youth. There was no reason to start cooperating between the Crown-in-Waiting and their advisor before it was deemed necessary. Sugawara’s always been impatient since he’s known who he was supposed to work with and support since childhood and looked forward to it with an almost fanatical excitement. But this? This isn’t how he’s ever pictured your meeting before.

Which is funny because he’s always known his supposedly exciting work wouldn’t begin until his crown passed away. He writes it down to the fact that he started his apprenticeship when he was still too young to know what that entailed yet and thereafter hasn’t given the procedure of the start much thought. Much like a child learning they’ll inherit something from a parent when they pass and being excited for that day to come before understanding the implication.

 His teacher is pacing around the tower room that has been Sugawara’s study since childhood, muttering curses and grudges to himself. The “this wasn’t supposed to happen” seems to be the most recurring phrase in his current, panic-induced vocabulary. Sugawara wants to be understanding and empathetic towards his teacher who has just learned the news that his superior and dearest friend has passed away in an untimely fashion but he also can’t help but dread how the current situation looks – to the outside, mostly. He knows you’re popular and well-liked within the walls of their keep and in the kingdom as a whole but it’s no secret even across their borders that you’re sitting very much ill-prepared for the challenge you’re going to have to face now. The crown has often – though most times have been in an inebriated state – proudly announced that he kept you off of the usual Crown-in-Waiting duties so that you could enjoy a free life as long as possible.

Sugawara’s not even sure how much practical knowledge you even possess, having not been the one advising you until now (not that anyone has, the position has been formally his since you entered the Crown-in-Waiting title eight years ago.)

 His mentor, who’s been very much like a father to him too, takes in a deep, steadying breath and then turns to Sugawara, “I am not allowed to introduce you until the Seven Days of Mourning has passed since it will count as official work not to do with the burial. You must prepare as much as you possibly are able to within the walls of this study but keep your focus on politics, the public relations, and laws so that you will be best prepared in the immediate affairs they might have to deal with.”

Sugawara nods and start to walk towards the bookcases lining the far wall, filled with both books, scrolls and study notes he’s accumulated over the years. The four bookcases had intimidated him back when he just began, so empty safe for a few five to ten books and scrolls. His teacher had proudly told him of how full they’d become when he was done and he’d scarcely believed him. But here he is over 15 years later with books stacked on the floor due to lack of space.

With tears lining his lower lash line, he starts reading up on the most recent border and trade laws engaged with the southern duchies, guessing trouble might rise there first.

                                                        ///

It is the Seventh Day of Mourning and tomorrow he will have to work side-by-side with a grieving Crown-in-Waiting turning leader of a whole kingdom. The burial of the king has finished a mere few hours ago and Sugawara’s currently in the servant’s kitchens with his close friend, head of the Royal Guards, Sawamura Daichi, drinking ale and eating the simple feast that marks the end of the Mourning.

There will be days of preparation before the crowning will commence. All the coastal and inland dukes have to be gathered and publicly announce their agreement and support to the Crown-in-Waiting for the coronation before they can presume their role as the rightful ruler of this country. However, Sugawara is officially able to be announced your advisor tomorrow as it requires a much smaller ceremony, one that mostly includes a few elected officials and his own teacher. And most nerve-wrackingly,

You.

 “I hope the precious Crown-in-Waiting is prepared for what’s coming.”

Sawamura sounds bitter and Sugawara’s actually surprised he doesn’t put his mug down harder than he does. He raises an eyebrow silently at his friend, deciding to give him the free space to vent his rage. He knows it’s not about the Crown-in-Waiting at all. Sawamura slurs out some more profanities and when he’s about to mutter out words that border on the line of treason thanks to the amount of ale he’s taken in, Sugawara shuts him up, “I know you feel guilty but you’ll be banished if you utter out any more words.” He takes the mug from the head of the Royal Guard calmly as if looking for a fight but his friend lets him, lets him wrap his arm around his shoulders so he can carry him back to the barracks. Sawamura is one of the important people meant to oversee his friend’s own inaugural ceremony as the official royal advisor so Sugawara would like him in proper shape.

 Outside in the courtyard, Sawamura gets queasy and Sugawara sighs over the fact that he didn’t stop him from drinking sooner. He lets him bend over a bush and turn away from the sounds of his friend spilling out his emotional guts.

“Are you ever punished if you get vomit on the armor?” he asks his best friend to lighten the mood, halfway to the barracks. Sawamura grunts in response and gags again, this time with a low, self-deprecating laugh following to signal he’s just messing with Sugawara. “Daichi.” Sugawara says sternly as if to remind him that he’s currently doing him a favor, dragging him away before he makes a mess or even loses his title and work.

“You’ll protect the new crown too, right?” Sugawara can’t help but ask as he eyes the lights of the entrance. He knows his friend would never betray the Crown no matter who wore it but he fears he feels too guilty to serve properly. When Sawamura doesn’t answer he says his entire name in a reprimanding manner, hoping to get a proper response. Sawamura drags his arm back from Sugawara and he lets him, watches him bend down to a squat next to him on the ground, “I killed him, Koushi. It’s my fault.”

It’s all he lets out and Sugawara has to drag him back up again with a reprimand of too much ale. Luckily, a few of his Guardsmen, Tanaka and Nishinoya are enjoying the fresh air of the night and casual talk outside the barracks and spot them when they’re near. They thank Sugawara for his help and promise to get their commander back in bed safely.

The walk back to the keep isn’t far, especially when you aren’t carrying your heavy-hitter Royal Guard Commander of a friend over your shoulder. Sugawara sighs out as he looks up at the sky. The stars are visible tonight and he tries to recall the constellations he was taught once. He almost wants to laugh at himself for his inability to use the stars – he hopes he doesn’t ever have to guide his crown through wilderness with only the stars to guide him. He’d never get them to safety. If he makes sure Azumane is with you, he’s convinced you’ll be fine. He sees his own breath in the air and chases it with his hand, reaching towards the sky as if asking for guidance.

 Still, Sawamura’s words haunt him. Everyone knows it wasn’t anywhere near his fault that their crown has tragically passed and no one is accusing him of the death but Sugawara thinks that he can understand the knight’s pride. He was with the crown when he passed, surrounded by savage bandits of unknown origins, unable to protect his sworn crown and get him home safely and alive. Sugawara feels a shiver run down his back from the thought of the pain he must be going through -and the survivor’s guilt that must be pooling in his gut, gnawing, growing, and taking form. He knows Sawamura would’ve given his own life had it saved the ruler of their beloved kingdom. He’s suddenly glad that Sawamura has other knights to take care of him too, people who will get his devotion and hurt better than Sugawara, a meager advisor who has scarcely left the Karasu Keep growing up except for going to the three nearby and local towns. A man who’s never known the blood or the decisions of the battlefield. He bows slightly and mentally thanks Sawamura’s men in the guard for also guarding him as he gives the stars a final look.

   The sky outside is clear and Sugawara can faintly hear the birds from the big oak tree outside of the stained-glass window in his study. Like many nights before, he’s taken to sleeping in the quarters of his books and parchments, comforted by the scent of his candles and the endless pages. The calm doesn’t last long before the door swings open and his mentor hurries inside and closes the door with a back-kick, “I’ve been looking all over for you, Koushi! You must prepare for the ceremony at once!”

He’s tutting at him but he nonetheless places a tray with breakfast in front of him – one of finer quality than Sugawara is used to seeing and he can’t stop himself from tracing the veins of the wood. It’s carvings is compelling and beautiful.

He hears his mentor scoff at him, “Koushi! No time! Eat your fill – I know you’re prone to a bigger filling of grain but I know you. If you eat too much, you’ll be nauseous during the ceremony!” he sits down on the chair opposite of the desk and pushes air out through his nose, “imagine that! So focused on your own stomach you won’t hear a word being said to you by the crown!”

Sugawara laughs cheerfully and pulls the tray closer to him, delighted at the sight of a cup with flower tea. His mentor has always treated him to this exclusive tea during milestones of his training. “What? Are you speaking from experience?” he jokes as he takes the first bite of the bread from the side, already buttered. Based on the fillings, he suspects it’s the kitchen matron who’s prepared this. She’s always enjoyed treating him, complimenting him on his polite and kind behavior (when he in truth was sent on a test by his mentor to test his conversational skills in regard to intercepting information not given easily or for free).

His mentor scoffs again and jerks his head up in mock-offense, “I know of no such thing.”

Sugawara laughs and reaches for the glass of water. It’s cold and newly pumped and he feels he’s in for a treat with this lavish breakfast he’s being given. His mentor sighs out before he relaxes down into the chair, “is there a particular reason you did not sleep in your quarters tonight?” he asks, his fingers intertwining on his lap. The question is calculated, his eyes drilling into Sugawara who winces. “It’s better here.” Is all he can really come up with and his mentor smiles before sighing again – a nostalgic one, one that reminds of good old days. For a moment it feels to Sugawara like time has stopped and it’s just the two of them, in the study, as it has always been. “And so we all know that feeling. I’m going to miss our days together, young lad.”

Sugawara swallows a spoonful of grain thickly at the weary words. He knows this is his awkward way of saying his goodbyes before the world starts turning again. In a matter of moments after his breakfast is finished, he will have to go straight to Kinoshita to be fitted so he can adorn his newly embroidered uniform and meet you in the royal court for the s��ance that will put him under you officially.

 The robe that he’s wearing fits him to a T. He doesn’t expect it not to with the master dressmakers on board. Azumane was originally scouted and traveled to the Karasu Keep in order to be trained to become head seamster for the royal court but gained such a deep connection with the Crown Child that he chose to become their maid servant and simply oversee the needlework made. His mentor had left him in rage then, traveled to another kingdom in search of a new heir but Sugawara knew that Azumane never regretted the decision.

Still, just because the robes fit him doesn’t mean it’s not uncomfortable. It’s weighty, long and the sleeves are bigger than what he’s used to. He knows it’s a formality and that he will most likely only have to wear this for official appearances in court and at meetings but he fears how he will handle ink and glasses of water with this garment on. A creeping panic suddenly dawns on him; is he supposed to always wear this in your presence? As he looks at himself in the looking glass, he tries to fix his hair – the tuft of hair sticking up looks out of place in such delicate robes.

 There’s not much time to think any more fearful thoughts on the fabrics bestowed upon him before Sawamura enters the room, all noise and intimidation from the sound of him walking in the Royal Festive Armor. Its black and sleek and Sawamura’s holding the helmet under his arm. His surcoat is in the new orange colors adorning the crow’s head made to be used for your reign. The former crown’s design was very much similar and varied only in color and pose of the crow. The helmet under Sawamura’s arm also resembles a crow’s head but only enough to be able to tell if you knew.

It's generally an impractical armor and Sugawara’s glad he doesn’t have to wear it – quietly doubts if he’d be strong enough to keep standing with the weight of it. He keeps that thought to himself as his friend gives him a hug and a pat on the back. “Your new uniform suits you,” Sawamura muses as he gives his friend a look-over, “you’ve finally grown into your title.”

There’s a smirk on his face as he teases Sugawara with that compliment. It wasn’t too long after Sawamura got instated as the Royal Guard Commander that Sugawara had wailed to his friend over mugs of ale about how he wanted a title soon too and how he felt left behind. Sugawara sticks out his tongue at his friend, “at least my robes are way more comfortable than all your shiny garments!” he retorts and Sawamura simply shakes his head at his friend and lets him have the win. Sugawara scoffs at the patronizing act but visibly still relishes in the win.

The seamstress bows at him as he proceeds to pack down his kit of threads that he used for the minor adjustments. Sugawara can’t help but notice the abundance of golden and silver threads too, straightening his back at the realization that he’ll also be doing your final fitting. He leaves with yet another bow and he smile tensely at his leaving form. He’s not sure he’ll get used to the formalities of his new title – after all, he’s been the errand boy for most of the keep for so many years, never regarded as anything more than another young boy running from the stables to the kitchens in search of adventure and possibly an opportunity to steal a light snack before supper. Kinoshita, the seamster taking care of his gown, was one of the boys he used to run around with. It’s odd, he thinks.

 Sugawara is pulled out of his stupor by the door being thrown open in haste, much like this morning in his study and he is in no way surprised to see his mentor beam at him proudly, a tear threatening to spill from his lash line. He lifts up his arms as he approaches, “oh my young boy,” he starts and Sugawara laughs and reciprocates the movement of extending his arms before he does a spin to show his beloved mentor and parental figure his new uniform and start of his new life. He’s enveloped in a tight hug and sees Sawamura cackle off to the side at the display of a proud parent embarrassing their child in front of their friends. He rolls his eyes and hugs back, “thank you for everything.”

He wants to say more, express more feelings but his mentor pushes him back to arm’s length and inhales sharply, his eyes screwed shut. He exhales slowly before he takes another look at the boy I front of him, all grown into the man he helped him become. Words would not suffice for any of the emotions both of them are feeling and hums out an affirmation that his feelings have reached him. It’s an entirely intimate moment for both of them before they hug again, fast, as a finality. This will be Sugawara’s new path. His own path, on his own two legs. He hopes he’s strong enough to carry the will of you and the kingdom with him.

                                                        ///

 You’re pacing around the room, anxious and fidgeting. Besides your beloved father and former crown’s funeral, this will be your first order of business – which feels immense and heavy, even if no decisions are put on you except for the appearance to ordinate your new advisor’s role. You envy him for being a thousand leagues more prepared than you. You hope he’s kind.

You know he is.

He’s never been a stranger to you in all fairness. You’ve observed him, embarrassingly often. At first it was genuine curiosity in childhood and young adulthood about the boy who was supposed to become your right hand, your biggest support and confidant. When your curiosity had become too obvious to play off as you aged, Azumane had gladly provided you with stories of his friend and eased your fear of the unknown.

The biggest reason for your worry is more embarrassing than any of the actual causes of concern, ludicrously enough. Because with all the wonderful and heartwarming stories you’ve been provided by both your maidservant, the kitchen maids and other tutors in your life, your heart has spun another story of his own, one of rose colors and stargazing.

In your defense, Sugawara Koushi is a very handsome young gentleman who’s always kind to anyone he encounters and diligent in both studies and work. In his spare time, he helps the scribe, Takeda Ittetsu, tutor the Keep children in both numbers and letters. He engages in the conservation of documents and is an active part of both the maps and the libraries’ keeping to.

It’s a very favorable image of a person meant to become so close to you. Not to mention that his smile always makes your heart skip a beat. Azumane often scolds you for reading too many romance novels and not enough educational works to prepare you better and at a time like this, you think you should’ve listened to him more.

You’re not supposed to be in love with your advisor.

Not to mention, a royal advisor whom you’ve never even met.

 The seamstress urges you to stand still again, fitting the hem of your newly tailored dress shirt, sewn for this purpose. You’re sure you’ll wear it again for some other occasion, enamored by the pattern of silk on the elaborate sleeves. It’s a deeply saturated, royal red with orange embroidered in with immaculate attention to detail, the cuffs closed by obsidian-like cufflinks. You straighten your back at the seamstress’ request as your father’s royal advisor goes over the ceremony with you.

You’ve practiced the speech and rituals since learning this would one day be your first role to fulfill, excitement vibrating through your bones as you were going through old scriptures and scrolls telling of this deeply traditional-bound ceremony. He praises you as you repeat the words back at him and you preen, your back straightening even more in pride. He shakes his head with a chuckle, proud of what you’ve become even if none were prepared for the timeline to be pushed as such.

                                                         ///

 No one prepared Sugawara for just how many people would actually attend his ceremony. It’s probably not as many as he feels, but the eyes all on him makes him queasy and he silently thanks his mentor for restraining his breakfast just a little bit for him. It’s obviously not as many people as will attend your coronation, but it still makes his heartrate spike to see the many attendees turn their heads at his arrival in the court. He’s announced by the speaker and stands where he’s been told, clearing his throat to alleviate some of his nervousness while he awaits your entrance.

 All eyes turn to you as your arrival is announced before you then then do something unexpected that almost makes him laugh out loud. He manages to keep it to a cut-off chuckle but you bow. You bow to the court as if you’re not supposed to become the crown of this kingdom in a matter of days and there’s a few gasps, giggles and various reactions sprinkled throughout the audience and you smile sheepishly before pacing your way to stand next to the throne.

On top of your head is the same crown that Sugawara often saw adorned on your father and his heart aches. He knows it’s been fitted to your exact measurements but he can’t help but be amazed at how well it suits you.

The kingdom’s opinion of you is at a crucial tipping point at best right now but seeing you stand there, your head held high and back straight, he feels that everything will turn out alright. He relaxes his own shoulders as you start your speech meant for your father’s royal advisor, telling anecdotes of growing up watching him and your father in the courtyard and finishing by bestowing upon him the Black wings of the Crow, the highest honor the royal family can award anyone, as a way to cement you and your kingdom’s gratefulness to all of his years of service.

Sugawara’s heart soars with happiness to see him receive such honors from the crown themselves and straightens his back again, overly conscious of how he’s posing in your presence. He hopes it’ll get easier with time.

 Sugawara is being presented to the court of officials and his eyes search for Sawamura and relaxes. In the corner he also sees Azumane send him a discreet thumbs up and lets out a grounding breath. He stands before you and bows, his head bent down, trying not to stare at your feet too much but using it as a focus point. You’re wearing black leather boots with heel that resembles your father’s usual style very much. When he thinks back, he’s sure your father’s had a designed pattern on them but yours are curiously bare except for the straps and pins closing it around your ankle and shin.

You recite the ancient tongue that is regarded as the first lines from the first ever inauguration ceremony of this kind, cementing the bond between ruler and advisor. Sugawara’s heart is beating hundreds of beats per minute as he tries not to do something that’ll ruin this magical moment. That doesn’t stop his brain from providing him with fears he didn’t even know he possessed; imagine if he lost balance and fell (he’s on his right knee with an arm supporting him), what if he has to sneeze (he knows how to control them) and the oddest one, what if you look at him and decide you don’t see him as a good fit? He’s got no counterpoint for that one, and that’s the scariest part.

He feels your palm on the top of his head and hears the acute way your breath hitches before you speak loudly and clearly,

“Do you swear to keep the benefit of the kingdom always in your heart, in your mind and in your body? To stay true to me and me only, as we work to make our kingdom prosper?”

Our kingdom.

Our.

He tries to ignore how your hand is lightly shaking on the crown of his head as he swallows thickly. He knows the reply is as true from his heart as it comes out of his mouth,

“Yes, Your Majesty. I vow to always stand by your side and support you in making your kingdom flourish.”

There’s a moment of silence as you retract your hand from his head and shuffle before him, presumably getting his pin ready. He’s too scared to raise his head, anxious about fulfilling the ritual properly. He can feel the temperature on the top of his head where your hand’s been burning into his skull.

“Sugawara Koushi, you may now rise.” you instruct him and he does so slowly, standing directly before you for the first time and now officially yours. When your eyes lock with his, he swears he sees a sparkle of stars in yours. They shine in a rich and earthly way he can’t seem to find human. In your hands, a golden brooch is resting with an emerald stone enclosed that Sugawara knows is valued much higher than his meager life. No matter how the light touches it, it looks breathtaking. You step forward and he almost takes a step back from the sheer overwhelm of being so close to you. you smile gently at him, reassuring him as you start speaking again, in a volume meant for the court to hear as well.

“I bestow upon you the crown’s pin to establish the physical link between us, with our kingdom as witness. You have sworn yourself to me and to the Karasuno Kingdom and this pin will be the proof of your allegiance and duty.”

As you say your practiced lines, your hands reach for his collar and Sugawara hopes he’s able to keep his blush down when your knuckle brushes his throat. You lock the pin and take a step back, mouthing a silent “well done” and he nods at you with a grateful smile, bowing ever so slightly. Sugawara’s heart skips a beat at the bashful smile you send him before you turn your attention toward the court, cementing your words one final time.

There are more formalities to get through but even if you held a sword to Sugawara’s throat, he would never be able to recite anything else happening, too preoccupied by standing next to and so close to you while the rest of the ceremony commences. He knows Sawamura is supposed to do some kind of honors now, but he can’t focus on it, he only bows when he’s supposed to. There’s something inherently intimate about the way an advisor is sworn in and he’s still reeling from saying those lines directly to you and not just to himself in his looking glass. There’s something about swearing his life away to someone that makes his stomach swirl in pleasant squiggles, the finality of his teachings and educations coming to fruition. He’s glad it’s you.

                                                        ///

 The silence is thick in the late crown’s map room as your fingers gently sweep over the ashen wood desk littered with containers spilling ink, feathers, and unfinished maps. Neither of you are even sure what the purpose of the current map that is splayed out is, but you’re both aware of your father’s penchant for mapping. Sugawara’s unsure of whether it’s appropriate for him to say anything and the happiness he felt emanating off of you during the ceremony is nowhere to be detected in the current gloom that’s sucked you in.

“I always imagined I’d arrive at the throne due to his retirement. That he’d witness my coronation and ease the two of us into our duty.”

Sugawara swallows thickly at your words. You’ve done it several times now, addressing your title and work as ours – as if you saw Sugawara as your equal and not a delicately trained and placed pawn to use as you saw fit. He clears his throat and tries to speak when you continue, “something isn’t right about his passing. My father taught me everything there is to know about sword fighting. I can’t imagine he’d go down due to a simple group of bandits.”

You look up at Sugawara and the pleading in your eyes makes his hands clench behind his back. You’re looking for reassurance, for someone to believe in you. His heart aches at the thought of how many people might’ve dismissed your hypotheses the past week alone. He agrees with you. Everything in the official reports, Sawamura’s detailed accounts and the mere fact that they succeeded in assassinating the crown himself speaks to something more organized. Something far more sinister.

He nods and walks towards the table, towards you, “Your Majesty, I fear your assumption may not be entirely incorrect. An ambush of that level isn’t common in those areas and according to local reports gathered by my predecessor, not heard of neither before or after the attack on His Hig”- Sugawara clears his throat once more –“your father.”

Your eyes fly from the overflowing inks to Sugawara’s at his choice of words and Sugawara’s breath hitches silently at the grateful smile you return him with. He smiles back and mirrors your hand by putting one close to yours on the table, staying neutral as your hand flinches upon his nearing. He rests his hand on the map, feeling the texture of the paper on his skin, “what would you like to do, Your Majesty?”

Your eyes stay locked onto the table, your position frozen for a few moments. Sugawara notices how you’re nibbling at your bottom lip. It’s a cute quirk, he thinks and subconsciously bites on his own until he stops himself with a straightening of his back. You retract your arm from the table and the fabric of your puffy sleeve gently sways with your movements as your hand reaches your own chest. You look up at Sugawara, determined, “I demand a full investigation that I’ll be part of. I will not rest until I know what truly happened to my father.”

Sugawara nods and bows, “as you command, Your Majesty. However, I will advise this to be done in utmost secrecy. Throwing the kingdom into a state of fear is not what is needed publicly of you as of this moment,” he straightens his back and looks squarely at you, “if I may be so bold as to suggest this, I’d recommend that you pick out a group that you trust to do this quietly as you calm down the nation.”

A quiet snicker leaves you and Sugawara tilts his head in confusion at your reaction as you grace him with yet another warm smile, “I expect you to be bold enough to suggest me things, my dear advisor. That is, after all, what you’re here for.” You turn around to look at the map of the kingdom that your father proudly made when you were just 12 hanging on the wall. In the corner of the northern duchy you can still see the ink stain you accidentally made as you observed him making it back then – you’re sure he could’ve removed it or started over since he had just begun with said northern duchy at the time, but he chose to let it stay and it fills your chest with warmth. Behind you, Sugawara blushes at your obvious statement. “But that is most reasonable. However,” you turn back with what Sugawara can only describe as a dignified pout, embarrassed to admit this out loud but with your shoulders squared and head held high, “I’m not at all sure who to entrust such a task to. I know many in our keep but I am unfamiliar with who to trust in the political court.”

Sugawara nods and tries not to embarrass your admission further by not reacting outwardly. He was ultimately expecting this to happen. “If you so trust me, I shall gladly help you gather a small company but while I do gather intelligence about who we can truly trust,” Sugawara braces himself for the next part, “I must ask you to keep up appearances around the public investigation. We must not throw suspicion or we might lose important trails to find the true executioners. I know what I ask is dire and under normal circumstances I would never think to expect anyone to follow such an outrageous request but alas,” he looks at you and trails off, seeing your steeled expression. There is no doubt in his mind that this pains you, but he can feel your resolve for the greater good of your kingdom – the kingdom your father loved as well.

   The next few days pass by Sugawara in a blur. He trails around next to you and instructs you in political influence, watches you mourn in silence, tests your knowledge and as you’re eating lunch in the former crown’s map room that you’ve ordered not to be remodeled or repurposed, talks about the investigation you’ve brought on.

Sugawara knew that he’d become physically close with you once he’d be sworn in, but he hadn’t expected that he’d be sharing so many meals with the crown of his country. It was awkward at first. There was luckily plenty of practical subjects to go through, so the silences never lasted too long and smiles seems to come easily when Sugawara cracked a joke or two. Your knowledge of the southern duchies and of the bordering countries surpassed what he expected, but you were lacking in regard to in-country laws and especially the western duchies’ customs were you unfamiliar with. He's continually amazed by your ability to remain unfazed when it comes to the public investigation of your father’s passing. No crack in your mask reveals that you’re in doubt of the public acknowledgement. Sugawara knows differently though, as his heart aches in his chest. He knows of the fire burning steadily, consuming your sleep and appetite. He tries not to say too much, knows Azumane is next to you when he is not.

Preparations for your coronation also took up a great deal of your time but Sugawara never hears any complaining as he drills knowledge and political pawns into your beautiful head. The talk and flow of the Karasu Keep has become lively and light, excitement buzzing in the air as the coronation draws closer. All the dukes and their families have gathered and many travelers from across the kingdom will be arriving as well over the next coming days. The attitude towards the new crown is generally positive, which greatly relaxed Sugawara.

 “I’d keep an eye on the Hiashi duke. He and his coterie seem to celebrate a great deal differently than anyone else.”

It’s whispered to Sugawara while a mug of ale is being placed in front of him. It’s Shimizu, the matron who runs both the servant and guard kitchens. She’s soft-spoken and never indulges much of anything, but Sugawara knows her to gather intelligence from the people of the keep like nobody else. She was one of the first people he entrusted his secret task to and it seems to have paid off already within the first week. He doesn’t outwardly react to her sentence but simply takes a sip from the mug placed before him. You’ve given Sugawara the afternoon and evening off, much to his chagrin, as you’re being fitted in your coronation outfit before there’s a dinner with the dukes of the kingdom, so he’s set to investigating further.

 He walks down the hallways of the upper quarters as he plans to excavate information on the duchy of Hiashi, which is one of the northern duchies, near the border. He’s heard of squabbles with the area, of his mentor mentioning agriculture issues. The northern duchies as a whole supply most of the farming for the kingdom and the drought six years ago has yet to heal them completely, try as the former crown might’ve. It’s also only a stone’s throw away from the attack on the crown, which makes Sugawara’s brows furrow as he’s leaned over some documents. It wouldn’t be a stretch to make that connection. He’s pulled out of his thoughts with a knock upon the door and is surprised to see his mentor there.

He looks disheveled. There’s no other word that can describe what Sugawara sees before him, except a broken man.

He’s seen a lot of them lately.

Wordlessly, he takes a seat on the opposite side of the desk and lets out a gruff laugh, “he used to love staying in here, holed up with his maps.”

Sugawara opts to sit down as well, figuring he needs to say something. he sighs and sinks further down into the chair, bony fingers gripping the armrest. “It suits you,” he mutters and sends a look towards the pin next to Sugawara’s cravat that he feels too stuffy in but is unfortunately comes with the uniform. Sugawara’s hands instinctively travel to it, feeling grounded by its presence. The silence stretches out for some time, Sugawara unsure on how to breach it – if he even should.

“I should’ve gone with him.”

The confession hits like a brick to his face. The grieve of his mentor is one thing, but to know he feels guilty? It pricks at Sugawara’s heart like knives. He stayed because Sugawara felt ill, if anything, it’s Sugawara’s guilt to bear.

Before he can articulate any of that, an arm is raised dismissively, “it has nothing to do with you. Rationally, of course,”- he gives Sugawara a knowing look-“it wouldn’t have made a difference. It was just a routine visit, I wasn’t needed there. I was needed with you, here.”

“I’ve had fevers before.” Sugawara tries, sucking in his upper lip. His mentor croaks a laugh and shakes his head, “yes but none as bad.”

“You say that every time I’ve ever had a fever.”

He shakes his head and gets up from the chair, rolling his shoulders, “ah. Talking to you have lightened my mood. See, sometimes I need you like you used to need me.” He winks at him and Sugawara pouts, “that’s not fair.”

A solemn smile crosses his face as his eyes stay on the map in front of Sugawara, “I know. I just came here to remind you that it had nothing to do with you and wasn’t your fault. I can see the guilt you try to expertly hide when you stand next to the crown. It’s heavy on your shoulders, isn’t it?”

Bull’s eye.

Sugawara’s breath hitches as he tries to conceal a sob. His mentor puts his arms behind his back and looks at the walls, lined with maps and art made by the former crown, his former friend. “And so it is so. So many souls carry the burden of this death. Heavy are the crow’s wings, my son.”

  As Sugawara’s left alone in a room drowning in the touch of their former crown, he finds himself making a fist to control anything that might slip through his own walls.

His father-figure is still here. He’s not the one losing a family member - you are. He will have to pull it together.

 “What are you doing?”

His fist untightens as he gasps in what he hopes is a low enough volume when he hears your voice from the other side of the desk. He hadn’t even heard you come in.

“Uh,” he fumbles around a bit, pretending to look for a specific map. “Uhm, one second,” he tries as he searches his brain for a way to sniffle without making a sound.

He hears you giggle and freezes on the spot, your laugh putting out the fire in his nerves. “It’s okay, Sugawara, you can take it easy with me.”

He inhales slowly, “right. I apologize, your majesty.” And finally looks up at you and smiles. You walk around the desk to stand next to him, “what are you looking for?” you ask, your hand tracing the top document, one being a map of the agricultural areas of grain from the Hiashi duchy. He shakes his head to gather his thoughts again as he points, “I got a tip to look into the Hiashi. There was a drought six years ago that devastated most of their crops.”

You raise your eyebrows, “you think it’s got something to do with my father’s passing?”

Sugawara’s unsure whether or not he should confirm that suspicion to you. After all, you’ve got a dinner with said duke in just a few moments. Out of the corner of his eyes, Sugawara can see you’re well-dressed and ready for the small banquiet. “Your majesty, maybe we shall discuss this after the dinner has been completed.”

You turn your head to him in confusion, staring daggers into his skull. He can feel them and he’s almost afraid to face you, fearing he might’ve overstepped. “Sugawara,” you say to catch his attention and he looks up from the parchments in front of him in equal parts confusion and fear, “yes your majesty?”

You put a hand on his shoulders, “the dinner has ended. I came here to find you before retiring for the night. You weren’t in your study.”

Huh?

Sugawara’s eyes must’ve popped out of the sockets with the way you retreat, a hand to your mouth. “Good Gracious, have you not gotten any of the rest I ordered you to?”

He blinks owlishly at you, his mouth in a tight line, “pardon, your majesty?”

You groan dramatically and to Sugawara’s surprise, flicker your pointer finger at his forehead, “I gave you the night off so that you could rest! You’ve been looking more and more exhausted and I understand that acclimating to your new job title requires adequate rest and care!”

Huh?

He sits down with his palms pressing his forehead, where you hit him – without holding back. You look at him with your eyes furrowed, “it’s part of your job to follow the crown’s orders.”

Sugawara laughs then. He laughs loudly and unabashed as his hands travel from his forehead to his cravat to loosen it up. He laughs with his mouth open wide and eyes closed. You wonder if he’s lost it before you grab the stool in the corner to sit next to him.

“I apologize deeply, your majesty. Since you’re technically still Crown-in-Waiting, I assumed the order wouldn’t apply until after the ceremony.”

You huff out a disgruntled laugh at his joke before you sigh out, “I shall be more clear next time. Well then, show me what you spent the last few hours on, if you won’t mind following an order from a simple Crown-in-Waiting.”

The mirth in your eyes makes Sugawara laugh again and lean over the table with you, pointing at the different farms and explain how the drought hit and the other specifics. He’s so caught up in his lecture that he hardly registers the way you yawn halfway in or the way you slowly but steadily sway towards him.

The weight of your head collides with his shoulder and Sugawara tenses up like a pulled spring. Slowly he turns his head to find you soundly asleep, the quill you’ve been writing notes within your hand now displaced and rolling over the map, spreading ink in its wake. He clears his throat after a moment too long before he dares speak but before any words can leave his mouth, he sighs and tries to relax his posture to make it more comfortable for you. You’re right, acclimating to a new job title requires care and proper rest. He takes a moment to be selfish like he never is and slowly, silently breathes in your scent, moving his head slightly to admire the way your mouth moves in tandem with your slow breathing. He feels like he has to physically restrain himself from caressing your soft cheek and it proves harder than he thought until he gathers his courage to address you and try to gentle stir you awake, “your majesty?”

A mixture of childish whines and grumbles leave you as you cuddle closer to him, your arm encircling his and he swears he feels his soul leave his body at your behavior. He steels his resolve for a moment with a few breaths before he decides. “Can’t be helped then,” he sighs and gently pats the top of your head, deciding that if his own royal highness, the soon to be crown sees his shoulder as an adequate resting place, he is not one to make disputes. You deserve as much rest as anyone else and if he can provide even an ounce of comfort to his beloved crown, he’ll sacrifice whatever it’ll take.

 Here are the bonus additions my cat has made on this document as I’ve been writing it (he’s also deleted three paragraphs that I luckily regained):

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[jekacatrina]

Hi! hope u okay! first of all I wanted to tell u that I LOVE ur writing so much! you're very talented! keep improving your art and doing what you love, you're great! honestly, one of my favorite bkdk fics is 'Here here'(is amazing!), which leads me to my question: how'd you feel reading chapter 284 knowing that some of the scenes and feelings portrayed in it were very alike to some that you'd already written in 'Here here'? e.g. Bakugo confronting AM, the sort of catch-a-kacchan at the gym, etc

I swear, every time someone comes up and tells me they love "Here Here" my soul leaves my body and I level up.

I can't believe how kind you are! Thank you so much for your words and the support, I really enjoy writing and I have so much fun (Though, sneak peek, I've written 15K of the last chapter and I've cried like six times, I'm a mess of feelings). I hope I deliver a great last chapter and that you enjoy it, I'm working hard on it. I have big plans for other fics as well.

To answer your question, I was out of my fucking mind.

The catch-a-kacchan was a fucking gift. I wrote them playing around like idiots back at April, as a self indulgent thing (The whole fic is but that's not the point) and seeing them now in this chapter actually doing that and knowing I'm going to see it animated, I'm going to hear their voices, I teared up. I feel blessed by Horikoshi and the universe.

Now, Bakugou and All Might conversation was even better than anything I could have written, and I couldn't believe a scene I wrote months ago was actually in the author's plan all along (Obviously so much better, Horikoshi is brilliant and I'm a humble peasant). For me, Bakugou standing up for Deku was key for the healing of their relationship and I wanted him to call All Might out because I knew Deku would never. He is too grateful for the chance to be a hero but Bakugou doesn't have those reservations. While I read the chapter, I kept remembering the scene and losing my mind, because it was almost canon! I'm going to see it in the anime! Aaaaaahhhhh!

Chapter 284 will forever have a place in my heart because, at least for me, and I'm sorry if it comes as arrogant, it meant that I was doing Bakudeku justice.

I started writing Here Here because I love both Midoriya and Bakugou and the story grew inside me until I had to get it out or I was going to explode. They are characters that I like to think I understand and seeing some of my scenes in the canon material helped a lot with my anxiety. I can be very insecured and at times writing them is hard, because they are complex and have MANY layers. I feel so much better.

Oh my God, I wrote so much, I'm sorry! I went a little crazy because I noticed all those things but I couldn't talk about it with anyone, thank you so much for this ask. You unlocked my eternal gratitude.

And if I have to sum up my reaction is this gif:

Let's just hope Horikoshi follows the spirit of Here Here and realizes they are soulmates and belong together. Oh well, a girl can hope 💚🧡