#can i remind you of we kind of share that really and also the iconique ‘harry bottoms’ thing from 2015

[snowjosh]

Not really a switchrry agenda when all he sings about is topping and has acknowledged himself as daddy 3 times now lol

ouff baby stop following those bloulou blogs

[silverbastardgoldenfool]

Realm of the Quarantine Reread End-of-Book Questionnaire: Royal Assassin

Any differences between your first/previous reading experience and this one?

Not as stark a difference as with Assassin’s Apprentice, but definitely still there. Apart from all the obvious stuff, like feeling much more attached to the characters already and picking up more details, I think the biggest change was a complete lack of patience for the teen romance drama lol. There was a decent period where I was feeling quite frustrated with it. Not that I loved it the first time round, but back then I had a very different view of how it fit into the story. I saw it as teaching Fitz a depressing lesson of what it really means to be a royal bastard and a king’s man. Fitz’s literal need (for all he knows he would have been killed if not for his deal with Shrewd) and sense of duty to put his loyalty to his king and country first creates a relationship that is toxic, turbulent and built on lies. And teenage horniness masquerading as love. I saw all that the first time and thought it was just something he had to go through. Now I know it’s something he never really goes through but rather grips onto, romanticises and ultimately goes back to. I know the point of that is meant to be that he finally gets to have something for himself, but why it had to be Molly specifically??? I have very few qualms with Robin’s writing choices overall, but why she chose to write their relationship this way if they really are meant to be is beyond me, especially when so many of her other romances are written so well - it feels like it can’t possibly be unintentional. For most of this book they’re either fighting or fucking and honey! That ain’t love! Hell, Fitz all but sees her as just another demand on his time as the book goes on. But he can’t let her go because she’s the one thing he can point to that makes him feel normal. Not happy, not cherished, not safe. Normal. She’s simply a refuge from his real life. He literally says to Chade “I need her.” I find that so telling, man. It’s not really about her, which is a shame because Molly is great. They’re just really not good for each other.

So yeah. It’s just kind of trying to read all the Fitz/Molly stuff when you know and don’t like what it ultimately culminates in. At the same time… Bee… So I will always be conflicted lol. I just can’t separate the events of Royal Assassin from the furious disappointment I felt when I finished Fool’s Fate. Perhaps I’ll have a new Fool’s Fate experience this time that will make the next re-read a bit easier in regards to Fitz and Molly? But I won’t bet on it lol.

Anyway. It’s not as if I haven’t already said just about everything there possibly is to say about Fitz and Molly yet I also feel like I could go on about it forever. Luckily this is kind of as bad as it gets in terms of how much “screen time” they actually get (apart from Fool’s Assassin maybe? But they don’t bother me too much in that) so yay! I made it! And hopefully it’ll be a good few books before y’all have to endure my ranting about it again :)) Also hopefully this doesn’t give the impression that this read was more bad than good? It was mostly just a particular angsty chunk before they properly get together that was a bit of a slog to get through, but overall I really loved reading this book again and got a lot out of it.

Something you can’t believe you forgot

That Molly punches Fitz in the face hard enough that he bleeds and that Fitz fully intended to punch the Fool for asking if Molly was preggo before seeing he had already been beaten. I pretend I do not see it.

Favourite character introduction moments/scenes

Omfg I was just about to say “huh we didn’t really get any major character intros in this book” bitch Nighteyes???? But in my defence I just. Cannot process the fact that Nighteyes is only really in 3 of 16 books he just feels omnipresent to me BUT his introduction is most definitely iconique and god I love him and he made me cry eight thousand times!

Favourite character arcs

Speaking of Nighteyes: what a glow up. He goes from angry, scared, untrusting little bb to……. Nighteyes. Like. How does one even describe the kind of person Nighteyes becomes. He’s just Nighteyes and I love him with all my fuckin heart!! He is Fitz’s constant… He is wise… He is silly… a comedic genius…… a big, open, unconditional heart. Incomparable. I can’t believe I’ve seen ppl saying they dislike/d Nighteyes……. Honey…… it’s called taste xx

Favourite quote/s

Again no tabs so it’s a bit harder to keep track but there were a few that stuck out enough to copy down. There are a lot of iconic quotes in this book that get shared a lot so I only bothered with ones I didn’t remember.

- “I wince to think of the price willingly paid for loving me.”

- “My soft, clean bed beckoned, like a soft, clean tomorrow.” (mood)

- “I looked and saw they were both made of hungers, like containers made of emptiness.”

Favourite relationships

Kettricken/Verity obviously. I was shocked by how little time they actually have together being in love before Verity leaves??? Because all I remembered was how strong their love is. But the whole journey towards that love is what makes it stand out as an actual compelling story in its own right. This is definitely one of Robin’s greatest skills as a writer; giving the minor characters depth by giving them their own relationships that grow and change and have a life of their own outside of Fitz. It makes the world feel so much more alive.

Also Burrich/Fitz in this book continues to be bittersweet, but with a lot more sweet in there than usual! They fully start out this book as a team. Burrich calling Fitz “FitzChivalry” makes me fuckin emo and idk why even. Burrich does seem to start seeing Fitz a lot more as his own person in this book which changes their dynamic in some rly nice ways. The fact that towards the end of the book Burrich even uses the wit to help Fitz is enough to make me cry tbh - and writing this has made me realise that I’m officially past any uncomplicated good times between Burrich and Fitz y’all mind if I fuckin die real quick!!

Fitz/Verity is soy pure and beautiful. Fitz and the Fool is always, always compelling and complex and tender and perfectly mysterious. But overall you’d have to say Fitz/Nighteyes, hey? They are literally meant to be, in a way so straightforward and undeniable and beautifully simple that I never really know what to say about it. Little brother!!! :’) They literally make me cry all the frickin time lol rip!

Favourite setting

There aren’t that many to choose from in this book! Ima go with the skill river bc hey, Robin’s magic systems are so unique and beautiful and the fact that the skill is written as a kind of a place is really frickin cool and deserves a shoutout.

Favourite chapter

The final chapter (not the epilogue) ummm broke my heart but it is written so beautifully, oh my god, it’s like an out of body experience. I feel like this is kind of when RotE becomes RotE - the first time it really goes to that place that is so fitting yet so unexpected, so beautiful, so tragic, so awful, so visceral. Making use of the genre to really test the limits of humanity; to see how far you can bend a person without breaking them and then refusing to turn away from the consequences. Idk man!! I don’t know how to describe it without sounding like a pretentious dick but it really is that intense and strange and overwhelming for me. There is something in that moment, when Burrich pulls Fitz’s body out of the earth and Fitz/Nighteyes is recoiling from it and deeply terrified… Something about the enormity of the existential questions raised converging with the pinpoint specificity of it all being wrapped up in the story of a character that feels so real and who you care about so deeply… It’s almost written like a horror scene, but that’s not quite the feeling. It’s just the RotE feeling; there are multiple throughout all five series, and it’s what makes these books unlike any other.

Most loved character

Fitz, Nighteyes, the Fool all had my entire heart this book. The Fool is just so sad and pathetic and literally must be protected!! I think I’m kind of obsessed with Burrich? Also I think I almost forgot how much I love Kettricken? She’s a complete badass of course but she’s also got the biggest goddamn heart like…. Who said she was allowed to be such a beautiful person???

But god, everyone. I love them all.

Most hated character

What can I say? Regal is disgostang. Wall Ass a close second.

Raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimised by Robin Hobb (most heartbreaking and/or visceral moments)

Shall I list just a few? :)

- Burrich screaming at Fitz through the bars of his jail cell, horrible things you can’t help but feel are at least a little bit true

- Burrich sobbing over Fitz’s dead body repeating, “You aren’t dead, you aren’t dead.”

- Fitz going to Nighteyes before everything went down on the night of the coronation and just fuckin hugging him really tight

- Fitz trying desperately to leave his broken vessel behind but not quite being able to disown his body

- The Fool being beaten

- The Fool being beaten again

- The Fool sprawled and weeping across Shrewd’s dead body

- The Fool really believing for a moment that Fitz had betrayed him and killed Shrewd

- Fitz tending the Fool’s wounds………. bitch….

- Chade giving Fitz a chance to escape with them and Fitz going to kill Serene and Justin instead

- Idk why this is even that sad but Nighteyes saying the only person he loves is Fitz!

- The entire incident with the forged ones literally tearing apart a three year old girl, which I had completely blocked out until now :)

- The fact that Fitz continues to be reminded and traumatised by this incident for the remainder of the book beCAUSE HE IS A GOOD BOY. A VERY GOOD BOY WITH A VERY GOOD HEART.

- Fitz repelling at Nighteyes to try and force their bond broken

- LITTLE BROTHER

- WOLVES HAVE NO KINGS

- High off his face Fitz calling Patience “mother” no shut the fuck up!!!!

Details, observations, spoilery notes made with the benefit of the full picture

- I’ve been trying for ages to decipher when the Fool started falling for Fitz, and I think I’m officially putting my money on their last interaction in AA. “I wish I had a place that was as much me as that place is you.” I mean. If someone said that to me… I’m not a slut but who knows, ya know? (I know this is more a note for the last book but I thought of it while reading this book. So shh.)

- It’s so clear to see this time how much Fitz’s sense of self and politics are affected by his time in the Mountains. He obviously feels much more inclined to their way of thinking about royalty and sacrifice and equality and returns to Buckkeep with a self-respect he’s never really had before. Weird how being among people who don’t just think of you as The Bastard will do that.

- It’s no wonder Fitz becomes so fixated on Molly; he literally has almost nothing else to occupy him and no companionship when she suddenly shows up

- It’s gross that he spies on her, obviously, but you can’t not take into account the fact that Chade has been teaching him since he was ten that this is justifiable behaviour; a reasonable way to gather information and get what you want. Fitz’s lack of social awareness goes further than him just being a little awkward; he has literally been trained to believe the only thing wrong with stalking would be getting caught.

- I’ve seen a few people talk about the fact that Regal isn’t appropriately punished as if it’s bad writing and like, while it is frustrating, it is supposed to be frustrating - it is not a plot hole. It made sense to me the first time I read it and it was even more obvious this time; Regal has the loyalty of the inland duchies. If he were to be publicly punished those dukes would rally behind him and raise hell, and Regal would no longer need to play the part of the dutiful prince. Even if Regal died a “natural” death - something I can’t see Shrewd or Verity orchestrating anyway - the inland dukes would feel that they no longer have a Farseer on their side and may, again, raise hell. It’s a delicate balance that would be outrageously difficult not to topple if you removed Regal from the equation. There is a lot more to it than I’ll bother writing here but yeah. I don’t really know how people can read this book and think that Regal retaining his life and position is some sort of lazy plot contrivance. It was all set up in the first book dude.

- Fitz and Nighteyes meeting in this book is the perfect metaphor for our need for connection versus the fear of inevitable loss. Fitz’s experience tells him that entering into a bond with an animal can only end in pain, yet he can’t resist it. In real life this is especially true with humans and our animal companions, since they almost always have a shorter lifespan than us; signing up to love them is signing up to lose them. But the same is also true of our relationships with other humans. And like Fitz, we have all had our fair share of loss and pain. We all have our reasons to be afraid of the connection we naturally crave. Sometimes we give in to the fear to the point of holding ourselves back from it entirely. That’s where Fitz is at when he meets Nighteyes. But what’s so beautiful about their arc as a metaphor is that it suggests that these connections, if we submit to them, are what keep our vital spark alive. Even when Nighteyes dies later in the series, the sentiment always remains, essentially, “It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.” Ya boi is projecting bc it’s hard to be vulnerable and make friends as an adult, but I think the observation stands. Love and connection and vulnerability are key threads that run throughout all of Fitz’s story, but in this book it is best represented through him and Nighteyes.

- “I hoped I would not become too adept at lying to myself.” Honey, you got a big storm comin.

- Very inch resting (gay) that Fitz finds it hard to meet the Fool’s eyes. I know almost everyone does bc his eyes are weird, but I reserve the right to reach and I will absolutely NOT be accepting criticism.

- I find it interesting that Fitz says Kettricken’s wit is not strong just because she doesn’t use it exactly the way he does

- I know it’s not meant to be funny but……. The way Fitz described losing his virginity had me literally laughing out loud

- Fitz was really like “okay i better go break my bond with Nighteyes” just cos he and Molly fucked. Teenagers don’t deserve rights.

- You know what? I really, really appreciate how fucking weird these books are lol. What other author would use their magic system to have their characters accidentally intruding on each other’s awkward sex stuff? Okay, maybe a few, but they would do it to be like, edgy and sexy. Robin Hobb just does it to make you cringe so hard you lose several years off of your life.

- But seriously, even apart from the cringe stuff, these books get so strange and out there and like! That’s what magic is for! 

- Bruh. When Fitz is like “omg poor Verity…. He’ll never have what i have with Molly” I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone encapsulate the self-important delusion of teen romance so perfectly lol. Wow.

- Okay some Fitz/Fool stuff that made me lose my tiny mind. Sorry.

- Fitz literally said about the Fool “he burned too brightly” I WILL DIE.

- Fitz is always like, irritated by the Fool… yet positively delighted by his presence at the same time…… okay bitch

- Inch resting how Fitz has always been uncomfortable with the Fool getting serious. I don’t quite know how to put my thoughts on this into words so like. I’ll just put it there. Make of it what you will.

- “Sit on my clothes chest and take your shirt off…” i stopped fucking breathing noah fence

- “I ran my fingers lightly down the line of his jaw, and around his eye socket. At least no bone seemed damaged. ‘Who did this to you?’ I asked him.” my GOD this is literally textbook gay/romance. It hurts me. It physically hurts me.

- Straight from my notes: “I can’t even focus on reading this bc it’s the first time they are tending each other’s wounds and I am a homosexual!” and “the gays are quaking!! (it’s me I’m the gays)

- Okay wow! I think that’s it! Hello if you made it this far! Hope this was remotely coherent and I’m always keen to hear your thoughts on my thoughts :)

Anyone doing a reread feel free to fill this out! You don’t have to use the tag :)

[freshginandtonic]

My Watch is.. still going

Since starting a new position at work and waking up at 2:30 every morning I have become a hermit - bad for my social life and general wellbeing, but a great time to start watching a new TV series. Or rather, a show that’s not new at all, just one that everyone has been watching for 8 years, and I’m just jumping on the bandwagon now. Yes, I have finally gotten into Game of Thrones. As I write this I have five more episodes of the final season to watch, so I figured now was as good a time as any for some self-reflection on the fact that, in between working ten hours a day, the rest of my time has been devoted to finding out who will end up on the Iron Throne and sleeping.

I’ve always been of the credence that yes, one day when I’m 60 and have enough time, I will in fact sit down and watch Game of Thrones. That all changed at 4am in the last week of May, when I arrived at work to find a package on my desk -  w the words ‘unbowed, unbent, unbroken’ written on it - I later learned that was the motto of one of the great houses of GoT - and a USB inside, with the first season all ready for me. Thanks to my colleague Will, my watch had begun.

Throughout each episode I’ve live texted Will my thoughts, emotions and reactions to just about every scene - usually in all capitals. I’ve noticed this has greatly added to the quality of my viewing - it’s nice to know you can send a one line quote from Season 2 episode six and he’ll know exactly where I am in which episode and can respond in kind with a follow up line, appropriate gif or meme. It’s different to the normal viewing experience because while you don’t have the immediacy and intimacy of an in-person response, the anticipation of a text reaction feels like more of a shared, special event - I’m taking time while watching this thing to let you know I’m watching the thing: here are my raw thoughts. Far more exciting.

My phone had to be put down for some moments though - particularly for the Battle of the Bastards - it was such a sensory overload I couldn’t be trusted to text properly AND keep track of Jon Snow. 

So I began, a novice in season one (in love with Jon and Robb and protective of Ned - how well did THAT turn out?) and I quickly realised I wasn’t going to be able to get through this without some help. So I had some red wine to cope with the first big death of the season (it’s been so long I can’t really remember who it is now) and got on with it. Then came Ned’s death (cue gasps) and onwards to the most important part of season three - no, not the Red Wedding - you better believe I’m talking about Robb Stark’s first relationship and sex scene w cute healer Talisa. I will say I never thought a scene with a leg amputation could be choked with sexual tension, but let me tell you GoT made it happen (context: Robb is on the battlefield being smouldery, Talisa comes to help a wounded enemy soldier and has to cut his leg off while she and Robb exchange heated flanter) and then they finally get it on after she tells some heart wrenching story about her brother (sad but it went right out of my head as soon as I saw Robb’s bum. It’s the important things).

There’s been a lot written about the shock value of Game of Thrones - killing main characters for the sake of killing them, using sexual violence as a plot device, and gratuitous violence. Regarding the sex and violence; first, there’s a Lot if it. A lot more than I thought. Lots of boobs and bums and moments where I had to pause when a family member came into the room. I was pretty surprised at how normalised this became for me - before long I found myself glad and inwardly cheering when someone got axed, poisoned, or ripped apart by dogs (you all know who I mean here.) 

When violence was used, sometimes in not-so-great moments (shall we be reminded of Sansa’s awful rape scene) - it did  sometimes serve as a real catharsis to see some truly terrible people be given their comeuppance (Ramsay’s great ending, Joffrey’s wedding, ) Other people who don’t deserve it are brutalised as well (once again Sansa, and how many others I can’t remember). There’s definitely no discrimination on that front.

 There’s also a weird sense of redemption. Not in every character (obvs - what show is this again?) but being able to follow a character’s arc in one go without break has made their journey all the more meaningful. Particularly for the character of Theon: (a brief summation: he betrays his adopted family and best friend, then gets mutilated and psychologically tortured and broken down before he breaks down and changes). Seeing him come to back to life and find his morals again has been a real highlight and emotional strongpoint of the show for me. I cheered and teared up for each bout of progress he made - fair play to him, he took his fucking time and made loads of mistakes along the way, but he got there.

Regarding the controversial Ending™ my dad told me he read about one guy who binged the whole show like I’ve done, and he had a markedly improved opinion of the final season compared to other people. Everyone I’ve spoken to has, in their own words, said there’s a Golden Period (roughly seasons 2 - 6), and then everything from then on is basically horse shit. I don’t know if that’s right or I’m in a position to judge yet, but right now there’s nothing more satisfying to see characters who have been on separate journeys for literally 8 seasons come together and interact after so long.

So to sum up watching seven and a half seasons, roughly 68 hours and 4080 minutes of TV in under a month - it’s been A Lot. I think I have popular and unpopular opinions about the characters and storylines (pop: Jaimie and Brienne need to bang) vs (unpop: Dany’s character development - nope and she needs to stop conquering cities pls). I am glad I’ve waited this long to watch it all in one go (if I had to wait a year to find out what happened to Jon Snow after the season five finale I would have fucking RIOTED). I’ve appreciated the small moments: the Night’s Watch banter, the dire pups, Jon and Ygritte’s excellent enemies to lovers relationship (a personal favourite trope of mine), and everything Varys says, to the bigger pieces of the puzzle: Jon’s true heritage, the Stark’s getting avenged, Arya’s and mainly Sansa’s transformation from the girl who wanted to marry Joffrey to the absolute badass bish she is from where I currently sit.

So is my life changed? Nope. But at least now I’m part of the cultural carpet. My watch is nearly over, but what an absolute time its been.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS OF GREAT MOMENTS FOR THOSE IN THE KNOW (AKA EVERYONE ON EARTH)

Sam getting ripped for reading by all the dudes in the Night’s Watch

Dany’s excellent outfit choices in s7/8 - a particular shoutout to the winter outfit of season 7 episode 8 and the grey frock with the red dragon cape (LIVING for the texture)

Ditto Cersei - taking power suits to a whole new level since taking the Iron Throne (this particular outfit is an absolute LEWK and the picture doesn’t do the spiky shoulders justice)

Jon’s transition to the man bun post-resurrection (I personally detest man buns but I absolutely loved this change for him)

Sansa’s dead straight curtain of hair - there’s something super satisfying about it after years of her wearing those Padme Amidala style ‘Southern Style’ hair

The entirety of House Tyrell (particular mention to Lady Olenna who deserves all the awards in the world for only killing one character in this show)

Lady Margaery’s sassy backless dresses (she knows how to make the most of the King’s Landing climate)

Jaime and Brienne’s entire relationship (from the enemies to friends trope to him GIVING HER HIS SWORD AND A WHOLE SUIT OF ARMOUR) - if that’s not a love confession then I will just cut off my own damn hand

The entirety of the shirtless Flex Scene™ of the pilot

Sansa saying the iconique phrase ‘How do you answer these charges, Lord BaELISH’

Any time anyone said the words ‘King in the North’

Battle of the Bastards - need I say more. I won’t big it up like so many of the magazines and entertainment websites did, but it felt like one of the most realistic depictions of a medieval battle you could find. I felt it in my gut. I don’t know how you couldn’t. When Jon couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t breathe.

Bran literally being the group member of the assignment who drags you down bc he just sits in a cave