#can i do that without anaethetic (scary) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

clownov · 17 days ago

Text

when i was a kid i hated my body for being 'wrong' but loved that it let me rollerskate, when i was a teenager i hated & mistreated my body deliberately as a way to focus and control myself, & now i hate my body for acting like i'm dying again over the smallest stupidest shit and for being vulnerable to vitamin deficiencies, health problems, death & i still won't grow up & take daily fucking multivitamins

#I HAVE HAD 3 SERIOUS VITAMIN DEFICIENCIES IN 8 YEARS #& I'M STILL TOO SCARED AND DISORGANISED TO TAKE FUCKING MULTIVITS EVERY DAY #I HAVEN'T WORN MY GLASSES MORE THAN 3 TIMES A YEAR SINCE COVID STARTED #i cannot live like this being scared of going outside or being on my own or my parents not being there or eating something 'scary'#i can't believe it's been another fucking year of living like this #i want to live so fucking badly but my stupid body won't let me #'i cannot live like this' meaning i need a way to get better i will try near fucking anything at this point #i love being alive #love Living would love to go to town by myself some time #would love to go to town full stop i can't even go with people any more without panicking #my post #wait isn't there a surgery or something that temporarily stops cortisol production #can i do that without anaethetic (scary)

2 notes · View notes