Steve Rogers Oneshot
Warnings: talk about body image/dysmorphia, past ED’s, veganism (idk if that’s a warning???)
Word Count: 3.2k
A/N: This is...very self-indulgent. But oh well. A continuation of the Agent 14 series, in which Steve finds another diet he wants to try and he needs some help getting started. As always, let me know what you think!
Sam finds him one afternoon, staring into the glow of the open fridge, in full superhero stance with his feet planted wide. Nothing abnormal about super soldiers looking for a snack; those boys can really put it away. But this one looks like he’s conducting an interview with the refrigerator contents - in his hand is a small notepad, a worn down pencil stub poised over it, and Sam can see little scribbles and tally marks covering the page.
“Uh…Steve?”
“Hm?” Steve doesn’t turn around, but Sam can see his deep-set frown in profile, harsh refrigerator light illuminating his lowered brows.
“What’re you doing, man?” Sam takes a couple steps closer and peers around those massive shoulders into the offending appliance. “That your grocery list?”
Steve finally looks up, blinking. Absently, he taps the end of his pencil against his chin.
“No, not a grocery list,” he frowns. “I’m just…taking stock, I guess.”
“We do inventory of the fridge now?” Sam sidesteps him, reaching for the orange juice. He still drinks straight from the carton and Barnes can just kiss his sweet ass.
Steve ignores him, sparing only an eye roll in response.
“Don’t worry about it,” he sighs, in a way only Steve Rogers can sigh about groceries. “Just got an idea, that’s all.”
Sam sips his orange juice as he watches him leave the room, more worried by that phrase than anything else Steve could’ve said.
**********
“I’m sorry - you want us to what?”
Steve crosses his arms and gives Clint his most authoritative frown.
“I’d like us to try a plant-based diet,” he repeats, looking at the faces scattered around the common room. This little “family meeting” didn’t warrant using the conference rooms on the upper floors; he had let everyone get cozy after dinner, helped dig through the couch cushions for the remote, and then made his little announcement.
“That means vegan, right?” Natasha says from her armchair, eyes on her phone in her lap. She’d started googling as soon as he proposed this little challenge.
“Woah, woah - hold up,” Sam raises a hand, sitting forward on the couch. “I know you’re not asking me to quit eating meat, Rogers.”
“And dairy,” Steve confirms.
“Eggs, too,” Wanda adds helpfully.
“No meat?” 41’s fingers curl into her baggy bacon-print PJ pants. Her lower lip wobbles. “No-no ice cream?” She looks to Clint, who immediately folds his hand over hers.
“There are plenty of plant-based alternatives-” Steve starts, his tone soothing.
“Is this because of that documentary you watched?” Bucky grumbles. He’s leaning on the back of the couch, eyes narrowed at his long-time friend. “What was the name…the one about the athletes who don’t eat meat…”
“As a matter of fact, yes,” Steve glares back at him. “There’s plenty of evidence to suggest it gives them an edge in athletic performance, so why not-”
“Oh my god, Steve, we’re literally a team of superheroes,” Sam groans. “Earth’s mightiest heroes, and all that jazz. We’re already mighty! We don’t need this! I don’t need this!”
“That so?” Steve raises an eyebrow. One hand digging into his pocket, he produces the little notebook he was scribbling in a couple days before. “I’ve been making some notes-”
“Oh boy, here we go,” Clint mutters.
“In our fridge, the percentage of animal products is a little over 60% - that’s crazy high, guys.” Steve licks his lips, glancing at the skeptical faces around the room as he flips a page in his notebook. “Not only that, but as a whole, our consumption of takeout and highly processed foods has really gone up lately; the team ate a total of 23 meals from fast food restaurants in the last 2 weeks.”
“You’re monitoring our food, Rogers?” Natasha is looking at him now, though he almost wishes she weren’t. Her undivided attention is not for the faint of heart. Steve musters himself and pushes ahead.
“Look - let’s just try it, give it our best shot and then, in a month-”
“A month?” 41 cries, clutching Clint’s hand. “A whole month? But…but what about Bite?”
Oh. He’d forgotten. Sam and 41’s cherished food festival, held every July - a whole park full of food trucks, unlimited samples, live music. One of their photos from last year’s Bite was proudly displayed on the door of the fridge: 41 and Sam each chowing down on a massive bacon cheeseburger - a cheeseburger with Krispy Kreme donuts as the buns.
“Well…” he hesitates
“No. Uh-uh. No way.” Sam folds his arms across his chest and sinks back into the couch cushions. “There is no way you’re making us miss the best event of the year for another one of your health kicks.”
“Sam-”
“Besides! You and Tin Man can eat as much pizza as you want and still outrun a car,” Sam huffs. “No reason to make the rest of us suffer through another one of your diets. Not to mention that I’m not interested in just eating salad and broccoli…that’s depressing.”
Shoulders falling, Steve sighs and drops his notebook in his lap.
“Okay, well. Sam has spoken,” he says, quirking an eyebrow. “Anyone else?”
“Mm, I’m with Sam on this one,” Bucky shrugs, unbothered by Steve’s answering look of betrayal. “Sorry, pal, I guess I just don’t see the point…and besides, we had to go hungry for half our childhood. I’m not gonna live on rations now.”
Steve folds his hands in his lap, staring down at his knuckles with what looks for all the world like a pout. Maybe he should’ve made the team watch the documentary first…that would’ve gotten them excited. Hell, even he was inspired - after all, if a non-enhanced guy could train to carry over a thousand pounds, surely there was some kind of benefit to this lifestyle.
“Alright, how about this,” he pulls his last card, his last idea. “If I can make a meal that will convince you vegan food is actually good, would you agree to try it for a little while?”
Sam and 41 turn towards each other; he raises an eyebrow, she responds with a shrug.
“We can accept these terms,” Sam agrees. “But you’re really gonna have to wow us.”
“Yeah,” 41 nods, settling in next to Clint. “Bring out the big guns.”
From his place behind the couch, Bucky’s shoulders quake with silent laughter.
“You really played yourself on this one, pal,” he chuckles, shaking his head. Reaching across the cushions, he gives 41 a comforting pat on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, squirt. Your ice cream isn’t going anywhere - I’ve known Steve for a long, long time…” He smirks at a now exasperated Steve.
“…and Steve Rogers can’t cook for shit.”
**********
Steve Rogers, in fact, cannot cook for shit. But he’ll be damned if that will stop him from trying.
He’s swiping through recipes and grocery lists on his Stark pad, wondering if baking his own bread would be as easy as it seemed, when the text comes through.
Hey soldier. I heard you were going on a diet. That true?
Steve snorts and chews his lip, thumbs hovering as he thinks over his reply.
Yeah, it’s about time I got in better shape.
Feeling a bit silly, he watches the little dots in the text bubble as she types back a reply, and tries not to feel too pleased with himself at the cluster of laughing emojis she sent.
Well, listen. I’ve been vegan for a while, actually, so if you need any help I’m here!
An eager leap in his heart, and his thumbs fly over the keyboard once more.
Oh, really? In that case…I’m not sure if I can really handle cooking by myself. I have a terrible track record in the kitchen.
Another laughing emoji. They didn’t teach you that in the army?
Shockingly no.
Someone (Wanda? Peter?) may have told him something about double texting, but he can’t help himself as he quickly follows up his text with another.
Anyways, I’m desperate. And the team is desperate for me to not burn down the tower, haha. Can you help a guy out?
Waiting for a reply, his knee bounces under his desk and he clicks the pen in his hand over and over, hardly hearing the annoying little noise as his thumb reflexively twitches on the button. When her response buzzes on his screen, he almost flinches.
Tell you what. Today is my day off, and I needed groceries anyway. Trader Joe’s in an hour?
**********
“What on earth are those?” Steve stares incredulously at the basket. “And why are they…not orange?”
“They’re called Hawaiian sweet potatoes and they just grow that way,” 14 laughs as she reaches for a display of squash next to the potatoes.
“That’s not a sweet potato - I know what a sweet potato looks like,” Steve says, obstinate brows crowding together. Shaking her head, 14 just turns away from the squash towards the avocados on the opposite side of the produce aisle.
“Oh boy, you’re gonna learn a lot being vegan…” she sighs. She squeezes a couple of avocados, testing ripeness and feeling the size before she chooses two and adds them to one of her produce bags. With a satisfied nod, she settles her hands on her hips. “Okay, next on the list: tahini.”
Looking at the cart, Steve can’t tell what his dinner is going to be.
“Tahini? What are we gonna do with that?” He wonders what it is, too, but doesn’t ask.
“Eat it, Rogers.” Smirking over her shoulder, she grabs the front of the cart and pulls him along towards the condiments aisle. “What on earth would you do without me?”
“Die a carnivore, I guess,” he shrugs.
“Hm. Tragic.”
**********
“It’s practically foolproof - all you have to do is cook this, roast the sweet potatoes, and then we’re gonna throw it all in together.”
“Never underestimate my ability to totally ruin a meal.” Steve says, stirring the quinoa. An adorable scrunch wrinkles his nose as he turns to where she’s dicing the avocados. “Ask Bucky. Even army rations taste better than my cooking.”
“You must be very confident in yourself to admit that,” she smiles back. Cheeks warm, he turns back to the pan with a shrug.
Silence stretches between them for a few moments, the quiet of shared work - from the other room, they can hear the TV playing, occasional laughs from Sam and 41 as they catch up on episodes of Brooklyn 99. Outside the windows, the summer sun sinks steadily lower, golden hour glow illuminating the skyline and filtering into the kitchen. She’s barefooted, chipped blue polish on her toes, and her feet pad lightly across the tile floor as she moves her bowl of avocado chunks over to the island. The little sound makes his heart hungry.
“So,” he clears his throat. “How long have you been, uh, plant-based?”
“Hmm. I guess about 6 months or so?” She taps her fingers absently against the marble countertop as she thinks. “Yeah, that sounds right.”
“Wow. Why did you start?”
“Someone dared me,” she winks at him. “No, but really. A friend challenged me to do it with her for a month…and then I realized I felt great and didn’t miss the animal products so much.” She shrugs. “I had more energy, I felt stronger, my skin looked amazing - trust me, after a week, you’ll practically be glowing.” She flicks her hair over her shoulder with a melodramatic flair, rolling her eyes to the ceiling, a playful smile dimpling her cheeks.
He laughs with her, shaking his head. “Oh, thank god. My skin is a nightmare.” His sarcasm sparks her laugh again, and it inflates his chest even more. He feels light, easy, weightless as the dust motes floating through a sunbeam between them.
Her giggles die down when her phone timer buzzes, signaling her to check the roasting potatoes in the oven. Sidestepping him, she leans down carefully in front of the open door, waves of heat assaulting them both as she pokes and prods the vegetables with a spatula. “Perfect,” she closes the oven door with a satisfied nod. “Just a few more minutes. And it looks like that’s almost done, too.” She gestures to his pan and hands him a lid to cover it. “You can go ahead and turn the burner off - the water has cooked out, so we’ll just need to let it sit.”
With the rest of their ingredients prepped and waiting in a neat row on the island, they slide onto a pair of barstools as 14 sets another short timer on her phone. Steve takes a sip from his beer, leaning an elbow on the counter as he turns to face her.
“Have you always liked to cook?” he asks. In his mind, there are a million questions - they roll over each other, constantly trying to push their way out of his mouth, his overwhelming curiosity wishing he could crack open her shell through sheer force of will. Instead, he drums his fingers against the counter, picks at the label on his beer bottle, scratches his beard, and waits for her to speak.
“Oh, no, not at all,” she laughs at the question. She’s not facing him, but she smiles, fingers lightly tracing the stem of her wine glass. “Actually I used to hate it.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Surprised?”
Steve is surprised - her kitchen confidence certainly impressed him. Not once has she consulted a recipe, or googled how long to roast potatoes in the oven, how to make lemon tahini sauce. Things that would’ve left him completely stumped and likely going hungry.
“A little. You really seem to know your way around a kitchen, that’s all.”
“Well…” she takes a deep breath, and he can see the shape of it forming in her mind: whatever it is she’s about to tell him, whatever she’s preparing to say - it matters. With a fortifying gulp of wine, she knots her fingers together and forges ahead. “I used to have a lot of…um, body image issues, you know? Super critical of myself, low self esteem…it got pretty bad for a while.” She doesn’t elaborate, because he doesn’t need to know and how could she even begin to tell it? Too many cups of coffee and too few meals, the feeling of a toothbrush in the back of her throat. It hurts her now, the memory of that girl who thought that making herself less would somehow make her enough. She reaches for the wine again. Steve stays quiet, his eyes watchful and soft. It hurts him, too.
“Yeah?” he murmurs.
“Yeah.” Glancing at him, she licks her bottom lip, before turning her eyes back down to her hands. “Anyway - cooking helped me learn how to actually take care of myself.” A half-hearted little shrug, a self-conscious smile. “That’s really all there is to it.”
He nods, holding her gaze, his eyes flicking back and forth between her own. Her shoulders curl where she sits a little hunched at the stool, bare feet tucked up on a bar that ran between the legs of the stool, one knee bouncing rapidly. A minute ticks by, then two, the kitchen gone quiet and warm, hazy with the smell of a good meal.
“You know, a long time ago, before I was…this-” He gestures to himself, his big shoulders and tree trunk thighs, the massive everything of him. “- before the serum, well, I’m sure you’ve seen the pictures. Or a documentary,” he smirks, a little rueful. “I was less than half the size I am now - short, skinny, no matter how much I ate my ribs stuck out. Buck used to try to help me train, doing pushups or learning how to box, but I was still so weak. A strong breeze could’ve knocked me over, probably - plus, I had asthma, and I was always getting sick with one thing or another…honestly, it’s a miracle I didn’t die before the army got me.”
It coaxes a mirroring smile from her, one elbow propped on the island. She shuffles on top of the stool, turning to face him fully.
“I thought…I don’t know, I thought I’d feel…different. Better, once I was stronger.” He shakes his head, chuckling at himself. “But it was more like…I was just in the wrong body. I kept bumping into things, hitting my head on doorframes; I took up more space than I thought I should.” Letting go of his beer, he spreads his hands in front of him, turning them over alternately and staring at the broad palms, the strong fingers, crisscrossed with veins and scars. “Drove myself crazy trying to sketch. I kept breaking my charcoal, snapping pencils…it was like trying to draw with another person’s hands.”
“Did you get used to it?” she asks. The hand not occupied with her wine glass reaches out to gently take hold of his wrist. A delicate thumb drags across his pulse, and she looks down at the lines of his palms, still uncalloused and pink. Her hand cradles his large one as she brings her eyes up to his own.
“More or less,” he shrugs. “Sometimes I still pass a mirror and do a double take.” More often than he would admit, in fact. He thinks of all the mornings he comes home from a brutal run - double marathons, barely sweating - and sees himself getting into his shower, a god he doesn’t recognize staring back at him.
She nods. She understands.
“Taking care of yourself helps. I think - it never quite goes away, but…” her smile is sweet. Hopeful. “The little things. They help.”
Turning his wrist, he grasps her hand with his own. Her skin is soft and warm; smaller fingers slide between his thick ones. Once, a long time ago, their hands would have been the same size.
Just as he opens his mouth to speak, her phone buzzes, vibrating against the counter and startling them both. As she withdraws her hand, she grins up at him.
“You hungry, Rogers?”
“Starving.”
**********
They take their bowls into the living room, joining Sam and 41 on the couch. Steve does his best with the chopsticks at first, but he still hasn’t gotten used to it. In the name of efficiency, he switches to a fork so that he can shovel the food into his mouth faster.
“Woah - what is that?” Sam leans over to get a better look. He sniffs the air. “Damn, it smells amazing.”
“It’s called a Buddha bowl,” 14 says, politely covering her mouth to conceal the sweet potatoes she’s still chewing. With her fork, she strategically arranges the next bite, collecting a little bit of everything: quinoa, potatoes, tahini sauce, avocado, greens. “Because it’s pure bliss,” she adds, before neatly shoving the next forkful into her mouth.
Steve hums in agreement, his own cheeks stuffed full. His bowl is half empty already. Peaking around 14’s shoulder, Agent 41 licks her lips and makes eye contact with Sam.
“I mean…maybe, we could try making some?” she shrugs her shoulders. “With a little Yum Yum sauce, too, I bet that would be good…” Sam is already nodding in agreement, pulling out his phone to look up a recipe.
“Don’t worry,” 14 smiles, patting her friend’s thigh. “I made plenty for everyone.”
As the other two scramble up from the couch and into the kitchen, she catches Steve’s eye and winks.
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(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?
Don’t have a closet. I’m poor
(2) Do You Have Freckles?
I’m Asian. Does that answer the question?
(3) Can You Whistle?
Sadly not
(4) Last Song You Listened To.
Awaken - Stray Kids. Stan them or fat 🤬
(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?
Currently dirty yellow green
(6) Relationship Status.
Taken by at least 150 boys that do not exist
(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?
28°C. This is considered VERY low here. Normally it’s a fucking oven in here — 33°C
(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?
I have never woken up peaceful in my entire life
(9) How Many Followers?
381
(10) Zodiac Sign.
The sexual position. Cancer ♋️ 💛
(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?
💩
(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?
I’m not 6 🤬
(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?
Stopped ever since I became a teen #puberty
(14) What Books Are You Reading?
I only read manga
(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.
I want to die
(16) Favourite Anime?
HUNTER X HUNTER BITCH
(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?
Crying? What’s that?
(18) Do You Collect Anything?
Screenshots. Specifically shirtless anime boys 💦🥵
(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?
I starve myself #RoadToAnorexia
(20) Do You Dance In The Car?
Only on my dad’s yacht and private jet
(21) Favourite Animal?
Me
(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?
Only Hentai
(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?
0230
(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?
No
(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?
Hate swimming. I get tan so easily. I’d die for pale skin
(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?
Mine obviously is this even a question
(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?
Tap. Because it might not be clean and I can get sick and not live as long cause I hate living and want to die
(28) What Makes You Happy?
Hentai. Next.
(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.
(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?
Study? What’s that?
(31) Dogs Or Cats?
Both. But I like dogs slightly more ...
(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?
Only the wrapper cause I’m not straight
(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.
Hentai
(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?
Cum
(35) Do You Believe In Magic?
No lemao
(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?
Naked rn
(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?
Sadly
(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?
ALWAYS SPEND IT THE MOMENT I RECEIVE IT 🤮 sucks to be rich
(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?
Pussy flesh
(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?
Sadly not
(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?
Sadly not. But I’ve caught lizards and moths call me Steve Irwin
(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?
Surprisingly no
(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?
Very.
(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?
I’m neutral about them. But one time. I was sick and rode on an airplane. MY EARS WERE FUCKING DYING. IT FELT LIKE MY EARDRUMS WERE BEING STABBED AND THE KNIFE WAS STUCK THERE and EVERYTHING HURT. Thank god the flight was only an hour. Cause the next one I had was 14 hours and by then my cold was gone
(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.
Your Name obviously. Oh and also the sad WW2 movies from Studio Ghibli
(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?
None ew.
(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?
N C FUCKNG T BITCHES
(48) Are You A Picky Eater?
Surprisingly not
(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?
FUCKING. I need at least 10 hours of sleep or else I can’t get through the day
(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?
Neither
(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?
Read manga, which, are Japanese mangoes for those of you uncultured swines
(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?
Only moaning. Next question
(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?
None I have servants for a reason
(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?
Crown by TXT my phone knows me so well <3
(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)
It’s always summer here #BoringWeatherMuch
(56) What Are You Craving Right Now?
Cock
(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.
(58) What Is Your Gender?
Unspecified. Ok but fr female
(59) Coffee Or Tea?
T
(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?
Never had homework ever since Oct 2018. It’s Mar 2019 now lol
(61) What Is Your Sexuality?
Straight as FUCK
(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?
Look at question 53 cunt
(63) Favourite Pokemon?
You
(64) Favourite Social Media?
Tied between ig and tumblr. Wait no. Tumblr
(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?
Better than sc ngl although sc started it
(66) Do You Get Homesick?
Nope
(67) Are You A Virgin?
You’re asking one rn good job
(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?
This is so weird.. even I don’t know... and I’ve been using the same product for months.. wait I’ve recalled it now. Both are dove
(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?
Car for free duh
(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?
Parents? What’s that?
(71) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?
Seeing 5 ft apart on Friday what I have a life????
(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?
Only sex sike
(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?
Fuck I don’t have one and can’t come up with one.. uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh... when Kakashi said you’re more than scum if you leave your friends behind. Cried like a bitch
(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?
White
(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?
Duh who hasn’t
(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?
Air
(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?
What am I.. 11?
(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?
No. Herpes
(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?
No but I’ve been on it gay
(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?
WHO HASN’T WTF
(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?
No. Hate socialising. I only need my body pillows in life
(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.
Nope but I wear a dog leash
(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?
Agap
(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?
1. Starved 2. Shat 3. Do this
(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?
Nothing. I can’t afford clothes
(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.
I don’t need beauty products when I’m already a beauty myself
(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?
Night
(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.
Lazy. But my absolute fave is walking dead
(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.
My mom left and she said to never answer the door and someone knocked on the door. She was standing there with demonic eyes and I was like “lmao”. Then I left that ‘person’ at the door and she kept scratching and banging the door that I went to the peephole again and it transformed to a bald man. He then started writing me a birthday card when my birthday is literally 3 months away and wishing me the best in life.
(90) Favourite Soda Drink?
I’m vegan
(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?
Giant tortoises mating
(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?
Gowns
(93) How Do You Look Right Now?
Born hideous lmao
(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.
Hentai jfc how many times must I repeat myself
(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?
A tattoo of your math grade <3
(96) Favourite YouTuber?
Ondo. Love that bitch
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