#can be read as early fjorjester or as platonic

[thelavendersquid]

Love Persevering (Tell Me How You Feel)

@amazingmsme and @thebest-medicine - The wait is over! Thank you both for your encouragement to write this fic!!!

Summary: Fjord wants nothing to do with the tickle fights his friends keep starting. Yet he can't help but be drawn to the subject and the memories it brings…

The Mighty Nein talk about feelings and process their grief for Mollymauk through the ticklish love language they all share.

Some grief and light angst but mostly tooth-rotting fluff.

My contribution to Mollymauk Week: Day 4 - Joy

Words: 7,028

AO3 Link

Sequel to No Words Needed but can also be read as a standalone

****

What is grief, if not love persevering?

****

Jester’s fingers scurry up Caduceus’ sides and he’s laughing immediately, stumbling sideways towards the tunnel wall and holding his hands up in a poor attempt to block her. Jester follows after him, laughing along as Caduceus’ back hits the wall and he throws his head back, squeezing his eyes shut tight and giving in to his laughter. He gives up trying to bat Jester's hands away and instead focuses on coordinating himself enough to retaliate - jamming his hands towards her armpits and wiggling as best he can possibly manage. His efforts are rewarded by a flinch backwards and sudden giggle. Caduceus can barely focus through his own giggles but he pushes forward, pressing his advantage, and feels Jester pull back slightly, succumbing to giggling.

Caduceus opens his eyes and finds her dancing from foot to foot, trying to escape his fingers without actually moving away. He laughs in an entirely new way, never stilling his fingers as they poke and prod up and down her torso and wiggle under her arms. Jester yelps and falls forward - throwing her arms around him and face planting into his stomach as she dissolves into full-out laughter.

That’s unexpected and Caduceus flinches as she does this, chuckling. Then he wraps his arms around her, pulling her in closer for a hug - as his fingers scribble up her back.

Jester shrieks. Heh. That trick always got his siblings too.

He feels Jester’s fingers pinching up his back just then - as she laughs into his stomach, which might be even more tickly. He’s laughing again.

Jester clings on tighter as Caduceus starts laughing - and he can’t let her win at hugging of all things, so he grips onto her even tighter in return. It’s a bone-crushing, tickly hug that has both of them laughing too hard for words. Caduceus can’t remember the last time he's laughed this hard and he’s reluctant for it to ever end.

Nonetheless, after a few moments it does - he slows his fingers and gently pulls Jester away so they’re facing each other. He squeezes her shoulder, still grinning ear to ear. “That was fun.” Jester beams back up at him. Caduceus looks up at the others - most of whom are looking distinctly uncomfortable. He gives them an easy grin. “You should try it, it’s a lot of fun.”

Jester spins to face the group too, looking delighted. “Yes! Oh Beau-oh! Are you ticklish?” She springs towards Beau, fingers wiggling and a downright evil grin on her face. Caduceus chuckles.

Beau, eyes wide as saucers and looking panicked, holds up her hand. “Wait, wait, no. I’ve got Caleb duty, I’m doing this, I’m busy.” She gestures frantically to her other shoulder, where Caleb’s hand rests.

Jester’s eyes travel up his arm to the glassy-white eyes indicating Caleb is watching them through Frumpkin at the moment. She turns back to Beau. “Alright fi-ne, but I’ll get you later.” She flashes Beau a grin which leaves Beau looking like she's seen a ghost - but with the faintest grin tugging at the corners of her mouth in return.

Jester spins towards the others. “Fjord! What about you?!”

If Beau looked panicked, Fjord looks downright horrified as Jester’s gaze lands on him. “Me? I, ah -“ he coughs and clears his throat, trying to bring his voice back down from where it seems to have leaped up an octave. “I don't have any idea what you’re asking.”

Jester has closed the gap between them with frightening speed. She flashes him that dangerous grin. “Yes you do. Fj-ord, I already know you’re ticklish!” And quick as lightning, her fingers scuttle up his stomach.

Fjord chokes on a gasp and reaches frantically for her hands. “Ah - Jester wait!”

Jester does not wait and Fjord fails to catch her hands, which means she continues wiggling her fingers over his stomach and up towards his ribs. She’s watching his face for any reaction.

It comes. Fjord sucks in a deep breath and clamps his mouth shut, biting down on his cheek.

Jester pouts at this and sets to work even harder. Her fingers poke and prod into the spaces in between his ribs. This has Fjord bending double and turning desperately away from her. Jester grins and flows with him. And Fjord can’t hold back a snort - which turns quickly into hearty chuckles he can’t manage to stop.

Jester laughs in delight and worms her fingers even higher, towards his armpits. Fjord splutters and dissolves into raspy laughter. “Jehehhehhehster ST-hahahahaha-stop ahahahahaha - STOP IT!”

Jester laughs along with him, following as he turns away from her even further. She glances over her shoulder, fingers still wiggling their way beneath Fjord’s armor. “Cad! Come help me!”

Caduceus is watching this with a slight frown spreading across his face. “Hmmm. Hold on a minute. Maybe you’d better give him a break.”

Jester catches something in his tone and turns around to face him. Her fingers on Fjord’s sides slow but don’t still entirely. She gives Caduceus a slight frown and he raises an eyebrow at her and nods towards Fjord. Jester turns back to look at her victim. Fjord is twisted as far away from her as he can possibly be, bent double trying to hide his face, tense as a board, and laughing through gritted teeth - clearly trying to stifle his laughter with little success. Behind the laughter he looks distinctly unhappy.

Jester’s frown deepens and she pulls her hands away. Fjord jerks away from her the moment he's free, turning so his back is to her. Jester blinks and drops her hands to her sides. “Fjord?”

Fjord is biting the inside of his cheek as hard as he possibly can to stop his chuckles. He coughs to clear the last of them away before growling over his shoulder. “Give me a minute. Go find someone else to torture.”

Jester's face falls. She turns to give Caduceus a sad look. He gives her a worried frown in return.

Fjord coughs a few more times for good measure. He can feel every eye upon him. He can also feel the heat rising up his neck. Ugh.

With a shake of his head, Fjord straightens up and turns to briefly face the group. His face is composed. “Come on. Let’s go.” His accent is firmly back in place and he stalks off down the tunnel, leading the way.

Fjord can hear muttering behind him as he walks away but he pointedly ignores it and walks on. Then - footsteps. And there’s Beauregard walking next to him, staring. Fjord glances over at her and she raises her eyebrows. Fjord clears his throat and gives a shake of his head, looking away quickly. Beau doesn’t say anything, but Fjord can feel her gaze locked on him.

Caleb, feeling Beau start walking again, drops back into his body. He blinks a few times to clear his eyes and looks around at the others with a frown. The energy has shifted so dramatically in such a short period of time. Caleb catches Beau's eye and raises his eyebrows at her. She gives him a shrug in return. Caleb frowns but stays quiet.

Jester stares after the others with a dejected look. She turns to Caduceus, who has collected his staff from where it was tossed aside. He gives her a sympathetic look, and slowly the two follow after the group, trailing behind alongside a confused-looked Yasha and Nott.

And so the group presses on in tense silence.

********************

It's several weeks before Fjord brings it up again. They’ve been busy, thankfully, and he hasn’t had time to let it occupy his mind. And mercifully, Jester and Caduceus have always left him out of their now-becoming-frequent tickle fights and ambushes on unsuspecting members of the Nein. The fact that Fjord makes a quick exit - or at least looks away awkwardly - whenever such events take place probably helps.

But he still can’t help but notice things.

It's not until the group is settled into their rooms at the next inn that Fjord says anything. The quiet night allows him far too much time to think, and he finds himself looking over at Caleb - who is definitely not asleep, Fjord can tell that much from his unsteady breathing.

He takes a deep breath and rolls over to lie on his back, staring up at the ceiling. A cough to break the silence, then - “Caleb? Can I ask you something?”

Darkvision allows Fjord to see Caleb visibly jump at the sound of his voice. He turns his head to face his roommate. “Ja, of course.”

“Do you like being tickled?”

There’s a spluttering sound from the other bed and Fjord sits up, alarmed - just in time to catch sight of the wizard in the middle of choking on his own spit. Caleb sits up too, coughing. He’s careful not to look at Fjord. “Ah. I’m sorry. I was not expecting that, is all.”

Fjord nods. Caleb coughs again and brushes an arm across his mouth before sliding back down into his bed. Even in the dark Fjord can see his face is a good two shades darker than before. This does not discourage him from continuing to press.

“I only ask because I’ve seen Jester get you several times now and you’ve never told her to stop or to knock it off, so-“

“Have you tried telling Jester to knock it off?”

Fjord chuckles. “Fair.”

Caleb gives him a hint of a smile, then turns away as it fades and sighs. “I….ah….” He trails off into silence without finishing the sentence.

Silence hangs between them for a long moment. Both staring at up the ceiling without a word. Finally Fjord breaks it. “I don't care, by the way. But can you tell me why? What about it do you like? It’s torture. How can you like it?”

This is met with a slightly strangled sound, then silence. Fjord shifts in his bed to look over at Caleb. The wizard is staring, wide-eyed, up at the ceiling.

Fjord sits up again, looking worried and regretting everything. He shouldn’t have brought this up. “Forget I said anything. We don't have to talk about it.”

Caleb does not respond, just continues staring at the ceiling. Fjord watches him worriedly for a moment, then slowly slides down into his bed. He can feel his own heart racing as he stares up at the ceiling himself. What was he thinking? Of course Caleb doesn't want to talk about it, neither would he if someone brought it up like this - in fact isn't that what Jester did when she grabbed him and reminded him what tickling felt like in the first place? And didn’t he react just as badly? Why would he think this would go any differently? Caleb didn't deserve this. How stupid and insensitive of him for dragging him into it.

With a swoosh, Caleb throws his blanket back and leaps out of bed. Fjord jumps. He pushes himself up. “Caleb?”

No response. Caleb swiftly crosses the room, pushes open the door, and steps out into the hall.

Fjord throws his own blanket back, his feet hitting the floor. “Caleb!”

Not even a glance in his direction. Fjord hurries out of the room. Blinking as his eyes adjust to the light in the hall, he sees Caleb knocking on the door next to theirs.

There’s a creak and the door opens. A sleepy-looking Caduceus stands in the doorway, blinking blearily at them. He takes in the sight of a frenzied-looking Caleb standing in front of him and a confused and scattered Fjord a few steps behind. His face shifts into a soft smile, and he pushes the door open and steps back to let them in. Caleb steps inside and Fjord, not seeing any reason not to, follows.

Caduceus shuts the door and follows behind them, rubbing his eyes. Across the room on the other bed, Yasha is sitting up and looking worried.

Caleb is standing in the middle of the room. He’s fidgeting with his coat and staring at the floor. “I am sorry to wake you both up, I don’t mean to be a bother…”

Caduceus just waves a hand. “Nah. Never a bother.” He waves towards the ground, gesturing for them to sit, before turning away to start making tea.

Yasha is already getting out of bed. “You’re not a bother, Caleb. Do you want some privacy?” She’s sheathing her swords and looking ready to leave.

Caleb shakes his head. “Nein. No. Stay, please.” He drops to the floor, sitting propped against Caduceus’ empty bed.

Fjord, for his part, stands in the middle of the room with his arms crossed. Caduceus turns around, carrying cups of tea. He hands one to Fjord before lowering himself down to the floor, sitting cross-legged and leaning against Yasha’s bed, gesturing for Fjord to join him.

Fjord reluctantly sits down across from him. Yasha has joined Caleb, the four of them forming a little circle in the middle of the bedroom.

Caduceus hands out tea. “So.”

Caleb takes his with both hands. “Danke.” He takes a deep breath. “Ah, I came here because Fjord was asking me about, ah…ti-“ He cuts off abruptly and looks down into his cup.

Caduceus takes a sip of his tea, waiting patiently. Caleb stutters and then trails off again, face growing darker.

Yasha is wearing a confused frown. “About what?”

Caleb takes a deep breath and tries again. “About ti…about kitzlen.”

This time both Yasha and Caduceus look confused. “What?”

Caleb takes a long drink of tea. Fjord sighs, rubs a hand over his face, and speaks up. “I was asking him about tickling. It’s really not a big deal, I shouldn’t have brought it up, let’s all just go to bed and not worry about it-“

He’s cut off by Caduceus’ sudden clarity. “Ahhh.” His expression has cleared into another soft smile.

Yasha’s face clears too and she leans back against the bed again. “Oh.”

Caleb looks surprisingly relieved, despite his face being about five shades redder than usual. He nods. “Ja. That. He asked me about ti…ah, that, and I would like to talk about it, but I…ah…I needed a mediator.”

“I don’t know what that is,” Caduceus says. “I can listen to the two of you talk if that’s what you want, though.” He takes another sip of tea.

Caleb nods. "That is exactly what I would like, thank you Caduceus.”

Caduceus gives him a smile. It's too full of knowing for Caleb’s liking and he looks away quickly. Caduceus’ smile widens.

Caleb takes a deep breath before heaving it back out in a sigh. He’s still staring down into his cup. “I - I do like kitzlen - ah, tick..tickling…Fjord.” He glances up at Fjord - who is staring at him in something like disbelief - before immediately going back to looking at his cup. “It’s a nice, ah, break. Like being inside Frumpkin. Or when I Polymorph. It’s nice to not have every single thought racing through my head. You know?”

Fjord nods slowly. He does know about racing thoughts. Beside him, Yasha is nodding too.

Caleb seems emboldened by this and presses on. He takes another deep breath. “I…like being stupid, sometimes. I am not, most times. Most times I cannot be. So it's nice to be able to sometimes, with people I can be stupid around. I can be stupid around you all and I am very grateful for it. And t…ah, tickling…it lets me do that. And also laugh. I have not laughed very much in my life, but I have never laughed more than I have with you all. And it feels…good.” His eyes dart up for a half-second, just long enough to see the group’s reactions.

Yasha and Caduceus are smiling softly at him. Fjord is staring right through him and looks distinctly uncomfortable, as if he just swallowed another orb.

Caleb takes a long drink of his tea. It helps. When he lowers his cup his face feels less flushed. He glances over at Fjord. “Does that answer your question, Fjord?”

Fjord blinks at him blankly for a moment, before giving his head a shake and sitting up quickly, clearing his throat. “Yes - yes, it does, Caleb. Thank you for sharing that.”

Caduceus gives Caleb a proud smile. “I’m proud of you for talking about that. You did great.” Caleb gives an awkward shrug and looks away, taking another sip of tea.

Caduceus turns to Fjord. “What about you Fjord? Why did you want to talk about tickling?

Fjord sucks in a deep breath and opens his mouth to respond. “Well, I…I…ah…”

Caduceus interrupts his stuttering. “Should Jester be here for this?”

This snaps Fjord out of it. He blinks and looks up at Caduceus. “Jester? Why should Jester be here?”

Caduceus gives a slight shrug. “It might be good for both of you. She was pretty upset after the last tickling incident.”

Fjord heaves a huge sigh and slumps against the bed frame he’s leaning on. He stares down into his cup. “Alright. Yes, she should be here too.”

“I’ll get her.” Everyone turns to see Yasha unfolding herself from the floor and making her way over to the wall dividing their room from Beauregard and Jester’s. She knocks softly. There’s a muffled sound from the other side - words that Fjord can’t quite make out - and then Yasha says, in her soft voice, “Can you two come over here? We’re having a discussion.”

There’s another muffled response and then a few seconds later, a knock at the door. Caduceus, who stood up to refill the tea, opens the door to let in Jester and Beauregard.

Beau rushes into the room, eyes darting around and looking ready for a fight. “Is everyone okay?! What’s going on?!” Jester follows her, looking concerned and just as ready for whatever they might face.

Caduceus holds out cups of tea towards both of them. Beau looks down at the cup, confused. Caduceus pushes it closer and she takes it on instinct, looking back up at him and then around at the others with a frown. “What’s going on?”

Caduceus hands Jester her cup and goes back to his spot next to the bed, lowering himself back down into a cross-legged seat on the floor. Yasha looks over to Beau. “I said we were having a discussion.”

“I thought that might be a code word for ‘we’re being held hostage, come help us!’” Beau carries her tea over and drops down in between Yasha and Caleb.

“Nah, we’re just talking,” Caduceus says, holding out a hand to beckon Jester over. She smiles and plops down next to him, taking a sip of her tea.

“What kind of conversation is this?” Beau asks before taking a sip of her tea.

“Yeah, are you talking about who you want to kiss or what?” Jester pipes up, waggling her eyebrows.

Caduceus sets his tea cup on the floor next to him and looks over at them. “Fjord was talking about tickling.”

Jester’s face lights up immediately and she spins towards Fjord. “Tickling?! Fjord, you were talking about tickling?! Oh, I’m so glad you called us over here, Yasha! Tickling is my fav-or-ite.” She smiles at Yasha, who returns it with a soft smile of her own.

Fjord’s face feels hot again and he busies himself with looking down into his tea once again so as to not have to look at Jester. Out of the corner of his eye he still manages to catch her face fall when she sees his discomfort. He feels something in his chest start to ache.

“So, where were we?” Caleb asks, setting his own cup down too. “I shared the depths of my soul, I believe it was your turn now.” He looks over at Fjord expectantly.

Fjord sighs into his tea cup before taking a breath and steeling himself. He swallows his feelings and looks up, expression - he hopes - settled back into one of confidence. “Right. Well. I was just asking what everyone thought about…well, tickling.” He raises his eyebrows as he looks around at the little group, doing his absolute best to look resolute and interested.

Jester gives him that bright smile again, although there's something sad deep in her eyes that Fjord wishes he hadn’t seen. “I loooooove tickling! It’s so much fun! Like, tickle fights - they're the best thing ever.” Her tail is wagging ever so slightly, tapping against the ground. Fjord can't help the smile that twitches onto his face.

“I don’t have strong feelings about it either way,” Beau says, across from him. Fjord turns to look at her and gives a nod. Caduceus turns as well and studies her for a moment, eyes narrowing ever so slightly. Beau catches his eye and flushes bright red. She turns back to her tea quickly. The faintest of smiles spreads across Caduceus’ face.

Caduceus turns back to Fjord. “I like tickling. It’s fun. I’ve always had fun with it with my siblings and sometimes my parents too - we got my dad one time, that was great.” He grins at the memory, an infectious look that the others find the corners of their lips twitching to match.

Fjord turns to Yasha. “What about you, Yasha? What do you think?”

Yasha has been looking lost in thought, gazing down at the ground. She looks up and says, softly, "It reminds me of Molly.”

Fjord blinks in surprise before looking down at the ground himself. He nods, and his voice drops to a whisper as he says, “It reminds me of Molly too.”

Yasha gives him a soft smile, which Fjord looks up just in time to catch. “It’s just, it’s everything that he was, you know? He was…Molly was…he was so carefree and he loved to have fun, and he loved to make people laugh - oh, he loved to make people laugh.” She smiles brighter, fond, eyes drifting up to the ceiling as the memory comes back.

Fjord nods. “And he was so touchy. He was always looking for a hug or trying to get closer.”

Yasha looks back at him. “Oh yes, oh yes, he loved to be hugged and held and cuddle. He loved touch. And he - he felt like a warm hug. You know?”

Fjord nods rapidly. His eyes have become wet with tears. “He did. He really did.”

Yasha sniffs and reaches up to wipe away a tear of her own. “That's why tickling reminds me of him. It’s all those things wrapped up in one - all that touchy-feely, carefree, fun that feels like a warm hug. And that's what he was too. He was all of those things in one.”

Fjord can feel the tears startling to trail out of his eyes. He looks down, furiously trying to blink them back. “He liked it, too.”

“Tickling? Oh yes, he loved it.” A wet smile spreads across Yasha’s face again as she wipes away more tears that are steadily streaking down her face. “He loved both sides of it. He would tickle me to pieces so, so often - and he loved it when I’d get him back.” She looks back up at Fjord with that shaky, soft smile. “Some of my absolutely favorite memories are of those times."

Fjord nods and wipes a hand roughly across his face. “He got me a few times. I wish I’d let him do it more often."

“He got all of us, I think,” comes Caleb's voice from across the circle. Fjord and Yasha turn to face him and see him wiping away his own tears. A shaky smile perseveres on his face anyway. “He really loved it.”

Beau, next to him, takes a shaky breath and nods. “He got me too, the jerk.” She rubs away the tears that are trailing down her already wet face, past the fond smile she can’t manage to hold back.

Jester sniffles and says, softly, “We had so many tickle fights. It was so much fun.” She pauses, staring off into the space, remembering. Her eyes well up with tears. “I miss him.” Her voice cracks as she says it. Caduceus puts an arm around her and she snuggles closer to him.

Beau is wiping her fists over her face. She sniffs. “We should have a tickle fight in honor of him. He would’ve liked that.”

Caduceus looks over at Fjord. “How are you holding up, Fjord?”

Fjord takes a deep breath and lets it out in a sigh, wiping away more tears. “I miss him too, Jester.” Jester gives him a watery smile. Fjord coughs and takes another deep breath. “I…I’ve been tickled before. When I was a kid. I was picked on, and I was quite often the victim of tickle, well…torture from the other kids. They were stronger than me so they could pin me down and I couldn't get away. I couldn’t get them to stop so I just had to take it. I hated it. It made me feel powerless and weak. But I could never quite manage to stop being ticklish. I hated that, I hated being so ticklish.” He looks around at the others with a tinge of hesitation. They're watching him - eyes soft and still glistening with tears.

Fjord sucks in another breath and goes on. “But with Molly….I don’t know. It always felt different when Molly would try to tickle me. It felt…warm, like Yasha said.” He trails off, looking up at the ceiling for a moment, and then sighs. “I regret fighting him off so much. He meant well by it.”

“It was his way of showing love,” Yasha says softly. She wipes away more tears and a shaky smile spreads across her face as she looks at Fjord and then around at the group. “He loved you. He loved all of us. So much.”

Caleb, Beau, Jester and Fjord all reach up to wipe away more tears that threaten to spill over. Caduceus finds his own eyes damp too.

Fjord nods and heaves a sigh. He turns towards Jester. “And I…I’m sorry for fighting you off, too, Jester. It’s always felt warm from you too.”

Jester gives him a smile. “Aww, I’m glad it does! I don’t ever, ever, ever want it to be mean, Fjord, I like tickling and I think it’s fun and I want it to be fun for whoever I’m tickling too. I just want to make them laugh.” She glances over at Caleb, who gives her a smile.

Fjord gives her a faint smile of his own. With another sigh, he turns to look around the group. They’re all still sniffling and wiping away tears that slowly slip out. But they’re also all smiling.

“I can see how much of a loving thing it is for all of you. It’s not mean. And I…I’d love to be part of that. But I’m not sure I can handle it. I’m not sure I can let go of that control.”

Caleb is nodding. Yasha and Beau look like they know the feeling he's talking about too. For a moment, as Fjord looks around at all of their faces, he senses for the first time that…he might not be alone in this. He'd never considered that this might not come naturally to the rest of his friends either.

Jester sits up, pushing away from Caduceus. She leans towards Fjord. “What if we tickled you for just, like, a few seconds? Just to see if you like it? Just to try it out?”

Caduceus looks up brightly. “A trial tickle!”

Fjord studies them for a moment. He looks down at his cup. Then he nods and looks up at Jester. “Yes. Let’s do it.” He throws his arms open. “You can have five seconds.”

Jester blinks in surprise. She had not expected that to work. She looks around the little circle. Her friends all wave her forward, grins spreading across their faces. So, a grin working its way onto her own face, she turns back to Fjord and shuffles over until she’s kneeling right in front of him.

Fjord blinks up at her with his best puppy-eyed face. A nervous grin is already threatening to break through.

Jester giggles, still tinged with emotion and a little sadness, and wipes away the last of her tears with the back of her hand. “Fj-ord! This is going to be so much fun.”

Fjord scoots backwards, closer to the bed. “Five seconds, remember? Just five seconds.”

“Of course.” Jester shuffles forward, closing the gap between them. She flashes him another grin - and it reminds him of Molly, she’s really perfected that terrifying look tieflings can have - and slowly lowers her wiggling fingers towards his stomach. Fjord bites down on his lip.

The second Jester's fingers make contact, Fjord feels every muscle in his body contract and tense. He tries to pull away but there's nowhere to go - he's already pressed himself against the bed frame as far as he can go. So instead he squirms to the side and tries to brace himself.

Jester’s fingers scribble over Fjord’s stomach and Fjord clamps his mouth shut to block out the noises threatening to spill out. He flinches away again as her claws pinch at his sides. Yep. This is every bit the torture he expected. The loss of control over his own reactions brings with it a dark cloud of memories, none of them good. He’s vulnerable, weak…small. It’s almost unbearable, and he’s about to open his mouth and yell for Jester to stop…when her fingers shift every so slightly. Up. To begin scratching at his lower ribs.

And all the emotions burst out of Fjord in a sudden bark of laughter he could never hope to hold back. “HA!”

Jester giggles. Fjord tries to bite down on his tongue again but doesn't quite manage it. Now that the dam is broken, laughter bubbles up out of his throat. “Ah-hehehehehehehahahahahaAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NOHOHOHOHO!” And just like that, he’s rolling side to side with laughter, trying to bat away Jester's fingers that are scribbling and scratching over his ribs.

And to his surprise, he finds himself not hating it.

Actually…

It is kind of fun.

It’s just laughter after all, Fjord realizes. It’s an excuse to be silly and laugh. And it feels every bit as warm as he just described. It feels loving. It feels playful. It feels like every other time Jester tries to drag him into her silliness and make him laugh.

And just like all the other times Jester pulls them into her silly antics, he’s having fun.

Just as quickly as it began, it's over. Jester rocks back onto her heels, grinning down at him - Fjord realizes belatedly that he's somehow wound up on his back on the floor.

His second realization is that he's disappointed that she stopped.

“Sooooo, what did you think?!” Jester asks eagerly, leaning in towards him and still wearing that grin. But Fjord can see something else in her eyes - a glimmer of nervousness. Hesitation. Concern. Worry that maybe, despite her best efforts, he might still have hated it.

Fjord is panting for breath. He returns her grin almost shyly before looking away and muttering, “You don’t have to stop.”

Jester squeals and jumps on top of him, throwing her arms around him in a hug. “AHH Fjord! I’m sooooo glad you liked it!” Fjord jumps before realizing what she’s doing and puts his arms around her in return. Then he feels Jester’s fingers wiggling up his back and he snorts - before they work their way into his armpits and he's laughing again. He buries his face in her shoulder as the giggles take him again. “AHAHAHAHAH no that wasn’t fa-hehehehehahaha-air!” Jester giggles right along with him.

The rest of the group is chuckling too, watching this. Caleb turns to Beauregard. “A tickle fight in Molly’s memory, ja?”

Beau gives him a nervous grin and scoots back slightly. A rare playful grin leaps onto Caleb’s face and he grabs her arm before she can get away. The look of shock that flashes onto both their faces when that actually works makes them both burst out laughing. And then Caleb’s other hand is spidering up Beau’s arm and she’s giggling and flailing around for an entirely different reason. Caleb turns and calls over his shoulder, “Yasha! Come help me!” Yasha, grinning, grabs onto to Beau and holds her in place - allowing Caleb to bring the other hand into action on her sides and leaving Beau cackling with laughter.

Caduceus is grinning from ear to ear as he watches this tickly battle take place. There’s Jester attacking Fjord and making him laugh harder than Caduceus has ever seen. It’s a good look on him. Fjord is starting to try and return the favor, Caduceus can see. Unsuccessfully so far - Jester is one step ahead of him and making him slam his arms back down against his sides by going for his armpits every time - but Caduceus is confident he’ll power through and have a counter attack coordinated soon enough.

A few feet away from that, Caleb and Yasha are wrecking Beau - who has already managed to slip one arm out and latch it onto to Caleb’s ribs, leaving him bent over with laughter even as he continues scribbling his own fingers across her stomach. It’s hard to say which of the three are laughing the hardest - Yasha isn’t even being tickled, but she's laughing as if she is. Caduceus smiles.

A sudden warm breeze blows through the room, and Caduceus looks up, smiling, as he closes his eyes and leans into the Wild Mother’s embrace. He feels another swirling breeze and opens his eyes gently, sensing another presence - and jumps as he finds a mostly-translucent, lavender-colored, ghostly figure standing next to him.

Another warm breeze blows immediately. And Caduceus suddenly realizes he recognizes this figure - from stories, drawings, illusions. He’s seen those horns before, heard about those tattoos, seen that spade-tipped tail. A whisper comes through on the wind, a warm smile from the Wild Mother accompanying it - Mollymauk.

The figure gives Caduceus a smile. Then, before he can react, it’s diving forward into the tickly fray. Caduceus watches as the spectral purple tiefling darts over to Fjord and Jester and squeezes Fjord’s side a few times, before immediately spidering ghostly fingers up Jester's back. To Caduceus’ surprise, they both jump and squeal at the sudden touch. He blinks. They shouldn’t be able to feel that. But…somehow they can?

The specter dashes across the room and grabs Beau’s foot, scribbling claws across the bottom and leaving Beau shrieking with laughter in a whole new way - while its tail wiggles underneath Caleb’s arms, making him choke on a squeal and dissolve quickly into giggles. Wearing a bright grin, the ghostly Molly lets the two of them go and throws itself into Yasha’s lap, claws wiggling against her stomach. Yasha yelps and bends double, giggles spilling out.

The specter turns to look at Caduceus - grinning brightly from its place in Yasha’s lap, fingers now working their way up across her ribs. It sees him watching and pulls one hand away to gesture towards him - a beckoning motion.

Caduceus doesn’t hesitate. With a soft smile, he stands up and goes to help Fjord coordinate his still-unsuccessful counter attack on Jester. Taking a note from the specter, he spiders his fingers up her back. It works for a moment - she squeals and bursts out laughing - “Caduhahahahahaceus! Hahahahaha nohohoho!”

But Fjord is no help in this attack, and Caduceus quickly finds himself pinned underneath Jester as she spins around and lost to laughter before her fingers even find his sides. He doesn’t protest.

Jester has mercy on him after a moment, letting up and turning back to Fjord, who has been laying on his back panting for breath. But instead of attacking him again, she says, “Fjord! C’mere! Look, Caduceus is, like, really ticklish on his ears.” And suddenly her fingers are scratching the back of his ear and Caduceus is giggling again and trying his best to squirm away. Moments later he feels a second set of hands on his other ear - Fjord, the traitor. He yelps and gives up trying to get away in favor of bursting into laughter. Fjord and Jester both start laughing along with him, which somehow only makes him laugh harder. It feels good.

CRASH!

All tickling ceases as everyone jumps and looks, startled, in the direction of the door. Bursting through the doorway is Nott, crossbow loaded and ready to fire. She swivels side to side, aiming the crossbow wildly while she looks for a threat. Yeza peeks out nervously from behind her. Nott looks around and slowly lowers the crossbow at the sight of all her friends staring at her. “What’s going on?! We heard screaming and thought you were under attack!”

Beau, currently on the floor being held in place by Yasha while Caleb looms over her, fingers stilled in place on her stomach, shouts, “We are!”

This snaps the others out of it. Chuckles start spreading around the room again. Nott looks confused.

Jester beams over at Nott and Yeza, fingers still on Caduceus’ ears, who is taking the blessed opportunity to catch his breath. “We’re having a tickle fight! Come on, come join!”

Nott stares at them all for a moment. She looks unimpressed and gives a shake of her head. “I'm not ticklish.”

A set of fingers from behind her suddenly squeeze just below her arms and Nott yelps. The others, watching, giggle. Nott spins around and comes face to face with a grinning Yeza.

“What was that about not being ticklish?” Yeza asks. Nott’s face flushes and she looks away. Yeza reaches out to grab her - and misses, as she's gone in a flash. She peeks out from behind Fjord, doing her best to stifle the grin that's working it's way onto her face. Yeza laughs and leaps forward, fingers wiggling. Nott yelps again and ducks behind Fjord.

Fjord is laughing. So is Caleb, as he ditches Beau to jump forward and try to catch Nott. Nott dodges him easily but looks like she's trying not to laugh - and seconds later gives in, joining Caleb and everyone else in laughter.

Just like that, the battle is back on. It’s Beau who manages to grab Nott first and holds her still as Yeza demonstrates her most ticklish spots for the rest of the group to exploit. Nott is howling with laughter, but eventually manages to coordinate herself enough to get out, “He's ticklish too! Get the back of his knees!” It's unclear whether she's talking about Yeza or Caleb so the others split their attention between both - and find that knees are a bad spot for both, leaving them both rolling with laughter.

This back-and-forth, all-out, giggly battle goes on for another minute. Caduceus, every time he opens his eyes, seeing the lavender specter laughing right along with them as it dodges in and out of the fray. It makes him smile.

BANG, BANG, BANG!

The group freezes again. This time they all look alarmed as they look up towards the door.

A voice comes through. “Can you quiet down please?! It's almost midnight - we’re getting complaints!”

There's a pause. Then Fjord - suddenly composed and voice smooth, if slightly out of breath - calls out, “Yes, yes of course! Our apologies! We’ll quiet down.”

The group waits with bated breath. There’s a huff on the other side of the door and then footsteps walking away.

One second. Two seconds. Three seconds. The group glances around at one other, make eye contact…

And collapse with laughter.

Fjord falls over onto Jester's shoulder, who’s rapidly making her way towards the floor and landing on top of Caduceus. Caleb is losing it, leaning fully onto Beauregard, who’s collapsed onto Jester. Nott and Yeza are leaning against each other and Yasha. All laughing too hard to speak.

“Oh my gods, we’re the worst!” Beau practically yells. This is followed by a chorus of shushing, which only makes them all laugh even harder.

Eventually the laughter trails off. Caleb wipes tears away from his face and readjusts himself to rest his head against Beau’s stomach. He holds out a hand, beckoning the others over. Jester, seeing what he’s doing, leaps over to cuddle up next to him and Beau. Nott pulls Yeza over and takes his other side, snuggling close. Caleb pulls them both in even closer. Yasha slides over and throws an arm over Jester and Caleb. Fjord lays down next to Beauregard, who looks over at him before grabbing his shoulder and pulling him in closer. Fjord reaches out to grab Caduceus and pulls him along.

Caduceus, as he snuggles in close to Fjord, Beau, and the others, watches as the purple specter worms its way into the cuddle pile too. It - he, Molly - drapes across the top of all of them. Arms threading their way in between to wrap around Yasha and Jester, legs worming their way underneath Fjord and Beau, tail wrapping around Caleb and Nott. He seems to almost melt into the group, in the way only a truly boneless ghost-like specter can. And the others unconsciously respond to him - wrapping their arms around limbs and a tail that aren't really there…and yet, perhaps, are there after all.

No one else seems to see this figure. But that's okay, Caduceus decides. They can all feel him. And isn’t that what really matters, in the end?

Caduceus catches Fjord’s eye and gives him a smile. Fjord returns it. He looks happier than Caduceus thinks he’s ever seen him.

Another, softer breeze blows through the room. Caduceus and Fjord both close their eyes as they feel its embrace. And there, surrounded by the warmth, still lingering smiles, and slowly steadying breathing of their friends, they drift gently to sleep.