#camping in the dining hall and coming up with recursively unhinged shit

[xxxdragonfucker69xxx]

Can you tell more about the boss fight you built on the Cain and Lucifer exchange? 👀

this was in dnd 5e and one of my players was a skeleton named jimmy. also theyre all pirates

previously we had established that jimmy had been revived by a siderea ^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H wizard-god named Moshut, who had given the party a couple of fetch quests: the gods threatened by an incipient clockwork sun, he sent them to go get divine artifacts that he could eat for juice. on this occasion they chose to go find the crown of atlantis

by the way, jimmy has reached the brink of death like three times, and weaseled out of it every time: made a deal with davy jones, or moshut rescued him, or he was briefly a reverse wereturtle.

so we journeyed to atlantis, and then down to atlantis, and then through the successive rings of the atlantean city. they kept getting flashes of deja vu, and sophie cthulhu (no relation) (mindflayer) (some relation) found the very stones of the city alive and crawling with mindless hunger. so they sort of just thought it might be that.

but when they reached the doors of the atlantean palace, jimmy put his hand on the door and it swung open, and there inside, encased in amber......

...ah. it's you.

Prince Zhemaios of Atlantis once upon a time made a deal with Cthulhu for immortality. Unfortunately for him, Cthulhu doublecrossed him by imprisoning him in amber forever as a living statue. Unfortunately for everyone, Zhemaios had preemptively triplecrossed him by making another deal with a wizard-god from the south; Moshut made for him a crown that would allow him to broadcast his mind into another's, a puppet body that Moshut made and that decayed over the years into a skeleton that forgot its original purpose. Enraged, Cthulhu sank Atlantis beneath the sea, though its domes of crystal kept the citizens alive for a little while.

Did I mention that the party had been calling Moshut Jimmy's daddy for some time now.

Zhemaios was a rogue, like jimmy, but also a warlock. He spent the whole fight laughing at them, playing on all the weaknesses he knew through Jimmy's eyes, but as he neared death for the first time in millennia he panicked. He began to beg, though the party didn't quite understand for what; obviously playing some kind of mind game, but they couldn't figure out to what end. Doesn't matter. Alejandro (hobbit) (bard/fighter) (spaniard) (foxboy) stabbed Zhemaios through the heart, and the crown fell to the ground.

And when Jimmy picked it up, he put it on. And flesh ran down his bones like ooze, crawled over his limbs, and Prince Jimmy lived on, mighty, everlasting, terrified.

Also then the mountain behind the city opened its eyes and amber-encased Cthulhu began to roar.