#cameron nik and lev

[lux-scriptum]

Ship Aesthetics: Cameron, Nik, and Lev

“They clearly make you happy. You’re practically glowing, and you flush every time I bring them up.”

Lev’s face heated up. “Yeah, well, I think I love them.”

“You think you love them?” Raziel arched a brow, hiding a smile.

Lev flushed deeper. “Alright, I do,” he admitted.

[fragmentedink-archived]

Hell to Pay: Chapter Fifty-One

I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, IX, IX, XX, XXI, XXII, XXIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XVIIII, XXX, XXXI, XXXII, XXXIII, XXXIV, XXXV, XXXVI, XXXVII, XXXVIII, XXXIX, XL, XLI, XLII, XLIII, XLIV, XLV, XLVI, XLVII, XLVIII, XLIX, XLX

cowritten by @lux-scriptum

A/N: Happy Holidays fuckers

A/N: also trigger warning for Nik's pos dad, and,,,,, nah i think that's it. Enjoy <3

Not a day after Lev was officially banished, Biela showed up. She was brisk, not even giving Lev the chance to acknowledge the two people she’d brought along. He was to be on house arrest, enforced by a spell that the witch she’d brought along would place on him. The fact that he was allowed up to fifty feet away from the house caught him by surprise; he’d fully expected to be confined to the inside. At least this way he could follow the kids in the pool or out into the yard, though Biela had made it clear he wasn’t to be outside alone.

She’d concluded this meeting by warning Lev that the house arrest would last until he proved he wasn’t a security risk. That meant Lev needed to learn how to defend himself, to Biela’s standards.

Lev understood. There was no third chance. If Lev got killed by a demon, it’d be detrimental to Cameron’s functioning. Not to mention Lev wasn’t sure how he’d handle being kidnapped by one. All of that aside he did want to know how to protect his children.

Biela had left with the witch when it was all done. The man she’d brought, who Lev learned was her brother Caius, stuck around long enough to exchange a few words with them, though Lev got the feeling it was more to get a good feel for who Lev was as a person than anything else.

Once all that was done and over with, Lev realized he still had a full day. Cameron had Eden, and Lev didn’t have the energy to fight him while Cameron reestablished his schedule. Instead, Lev ventured downstairs, something else on his mind.

He found Sazra in her room, like he’d expected. He knocked on the doorway when she didn’t look up right away, but having her silver eyes pinning him in place didn’t exactly put him at ease.

“Hi,” he said lamely, unsure of where to start.

“Can I help you?” she clipped out.

“I hope so,” Lev said, trying not to fidget. “I wanted to ask you about suppressants. I don’t know if demon suppressants will work for me, or if I need to get angelic suppressants, but-”

“And you’re asking me why?”

Lev blinked. “Because you’re a healer?” He said hesitantly. “I figured you out of everyone in the house would know about the way I’d react to demonic suppressants.”

Sazra lifted a brow. “Why would you think that when you think your healing is superior to mine?”

Oh. Lev fidgeted for a moment, before, “I’m not versed in medicine,” he started, and then hesitated. “If I’ve offended you...” He trailed off, looking for the right words. “It’s what I was taught,” he finally said, honestly. “And I never stopped to check my bias. I just parroted what I've been told for my entire life. I didn’t think about it at all.”

“I can see that. It’s rather arrogant of you.”

Lev didn’t think he’d ever been called arrogant before in his life. She wasn’t wrong though. “I’m sorry,” he finally said. “It was.”

“Hm.” She thrummed her long nails against the wooden table, but didn’t offer any more words other than that.

Lev stared at her for a long time, unsure of what to say. In the end, he said simply, “Can I try to make amends? I was out of line.”

Her nails clicked on the table. “I’ll help you. Not because you apologized, but because Cameron is my boss and I owe him my life. Anything else?”

“No,” Lev said. “Thank you.” He paused halfway out the door, and turned back. “I haven’t had a heat in about a month and a half. If that helps anything?”

“I am aware. You can go now.”

Lev took that dismissal and slipped back upstairs.

---

After some searching, Lev found Nik in the back with Eden. He had her in the pool, in a cute black swimsuit with pink polka dots and ruffles. Eden was screaming happily as she splashed Nik. Lev padded to the edge of the pool, sitting down and dropping his feet in the water.

“Hi,” Lev said, smiling slightly.

Nik paddled over, dragging a giggling Eden with him. “I had to put sunscreen on her,” Nik said solemnly. “She probably burns faster than Cameron does.”

“Probably,” Lev agreed. He reached out, patting Nik’s hair. “Nik... do you want to talk about it? Any of it?”

“What part of dragging a screaming infant out to the pool suggests I want to talk about anything?”

Lev shrugged. “I thought I’d offer. We probably should eventually.”

Nik dunked under, though he kept Eden above the water. “Sure.”

“Are you okay?” Lev asked.

“Why wouldn’t I be? I have you, I have Eden, I have Cameron. Everything is going back to normal.”

“You’re pregnant, I’m exiled, and I told you I lost my pregnancy in the worst way possible.” Lev hesitated. “A lot has happened. And... it’s easier to worry about you than it is to deal with everything right now.”

“Well as you can see, I am the picture of health.”

“Physically, sure,” Lev agreed. “I don’t think anyone in this house is mentally healthy.”

“Hm. Well.” Nik moved Eden to his hip, not even blinking when she smacked his face. “Is that your professional opinion, Doctor Lev? I had not realized you had gotten a psychology degree in Ghost Land.”

“Nik, please,” Lev said softly, but he really didn’t have it in him to fight. In the end, he just gave a small sigh. “Fine. We can talk about it later.”

Nik went back to playing with Eden, so Lev splashed a foot lightly and watched Eden grabbing at the water. Lev would have been content to watch, but Nik grabbed his ankle. “Nik, don-”

Nik yanked Lev in the pool, clothes and all. After sputtering at Nik while Eden shrieked, first in surprise and then in delight, Lev glared at Nik. “I’m dressed.”

“Oh?” Nik said innocently.

Lev swatted his shoulder gently. “You could have let me go find a swimsuit. Now I’m soaked.”

Nik simply hummed. “Yeah... Oh well. Better luck next time.”

Lev huffed, and reached for Eden. “Give her over. I want a turn.”

“Mm. My baby,” Nik said, kissing Eden’s cheek. “Isn’t that right, baby?” Eden shrieked, grabbing at Nik’s hair. “See? All the ladies want me.”

Lev huffed, wading closer. He grabbed Nik’s sleeve when Nik tried to pull back, but was distracted by Cameron appearing.

“Phone,” Cameron said, looking annoyed.

Lev patted his pocket, and then held up the waterlogged device. “Nik pulled me in,” he offered apologetically. He set it down on the side of the pool. “I forgot I had it in my pocket.”

“I’ll get you a new one,” was all Cameron said. “Don’t do that again.”

“Tell Nik to not to pull me in,” Lev mumbled, before looking up at Cameron.

“I’m not his mother. You do it,” was all Cameron had to say before left.

“Yeah,” Nik parroted. “He’s not my mother.”

Lev splashed him and Eden both. Eden screeched, slapping the water herself. A laugh bubbled up, real and genuine. Lev turned away long enough to take off his sopping sweater and drop it beside the ruined phone.

This was worth it, he decided, dropping a kiss on Eden’s cheek. It was worth all of it.

---

Nik spent the next few hours getting a restless Eden under control and unconscious while also wandering around the house. Cameron seemed to be off in his study, doing Cameron Things and Lev was doing Lev Things. He was about to go see if he could bully Cameron into making stuffed peppers, when there was a knock at the doors. He was this close to ignoring it, and letting one of Cameron’s lackeys get it themselves, but he was closest to the door.

When he pulled the doors open, he felt his stomach drop. He had no idea why his father of all people decided to stand right in front of him, with that irritatingly neutral look on his face, especially in Demonic Territory. But he was. “Papi.”

Az’ril looked Nik up and down slowly enough Nik folded his arms over his chest, trying to hide his stomach out of sheer self-consciousness. Though it was completely useless and they both knew it. “You are pregnant.”

Nik felt heat rise in his face. “It’s Cameron’s,” he said, instantly.

“Hm.” He looked past Nik for only a second before saying, “Are you going to let me in?”

Nik took a wordless step back and to the side. There was no point in arguing, not when he was pregnant and he wasn’t going to risk the safety of either himself or his baby just when he decided he was going to keep the little leech who decided to continuously steal his food.

His father wasn’t even two steps in the house before both Cameron and Lev decided to come into the hallway from two separate directions.

Well that was just fantastic.

“Az’ril,” Cameron said, mildly. “To what do I owe this unannounced visit?”

Az’ril’s golden brown eyes flicked Cameron’s way. “I was not aware that I needed an invitation or to announce myself to visit my youngest.”

Cameron lifted a brow and stopped right behind Nik, close enough Nik could almost feel Cameron’s body heat. “How would you be aware when you do not ask? Or visit in the last year or so, but I digress.”

Lev stopped next to Nik and tried to take his hand. Nik only shoved his hands in his hoodie pockets and said nothing. Az’ril’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly, but completely dismissed Cameron and turned his full attention back to Nik. “Let’s speak. Alone.”

“Nik,” Lev said, quietly.

He could feel Cameron’s gaze on him, letting him take the lead on however Nik wanted to move forward. Nik only lifted a shoulder. “Yeah, sure. I think we can find a room.”

He shouldered past Lev, without so much as a glance, aware his father was right on his heel without needing to be told to follow. He found the nearest office space and went in, immediately going to open the windows when he heard the door click behind him.

“So,” Nik said, leaning against the wall, with his arms folded over himself once more. “You wanted to talk…?”

Az’ril made himself at home by sitting in the desk chair. He glanced around the orderly office, taking note of the very sharp, immaculate furniture. “He seems to have inherited a great deal from his former station,” Az’ril noted.

“Yeah,” Nik said. “I imagine being raped every day for five hundred years, a fancy house was the least they could give him. But what do I know.”

The vaguest look of distaste crossed his father’s features. “Your crassness is bound to lose its charm,” he said, leaning back. “Especially now that you are pregnant. Even if it is with a demon’s spawn, and an illegitimate one at that. That cute attitude isn’t going to get you far much more.”

“I’m sure my cute looks will make up for it,” Nik said.

“We’ll see.”

The tightness in his chest didn’t let up a single bit, if anything it just reached further into his throat, making it that much harder to keep an unruffled appearance. The razor sharp look in his father’s eyes suggested Az’ril was more than aware. And he was unimpressed.

“How does the demon feel about your pregnancy,” Az’ril said. “Doesn’t quite seem the paternal type. As far as I’m aware, demons tend to eat their young.”

Nik chewed on his lip piercing. “He’s fine with it.”

“Is he?”

“That’s what I said,” Nik said, not able to keep the irritability out of his voice. “If you’re wanting a birth announcement, I’ll be sure to ship you one in the post. Is there anything else you wanted?”

“Actually there is,” Az’ril said.

Nik waited expectantly, trying to not squirm under that golden look.

“I do not think your demon is equipt to adequately care for a pregnant angel,” he said. “And I do not wish for a disgraced outcast to be caring for my child.”

Nik blinked. “I- what? Then where, exactly, do you expect me to go?”

“Your rooms are being set up as we speak,” his father replied. “A nursery as well, as you’re obviously keeping the child. Even if it’s part demon, your status is of mine, and I will not be having it or you here any longer. It’s about time you stopped playing house and returned to where you belong.”

“...I belong with Cameron and Lev,” Nik said.

Az’ril stood fast enough that Nik’s spine straightened on sheer instinct. “You need to stop with these convoluted fantasies of yours,” His father said, sharply. “You will come home, even if I have to drag you by your ear to do so. It’s for your own good, Nikolas.”

“But- what about them?”

“They are not my concern.” He crossed the desk. “This is my own fault,” he said. “I gave you too much freedom and left you unchecked and now your inability to take responsibility for any of your actions has led you unmarried, unmated and pregnant. So now, you will be coming home, and you will be letting me take care of you. End of discussion. Are we clear.”

Nik’s eyes trained to the ground. “Yes sir.”

“Better. Now go get your things, because we need to be leaving.”

Nik pushed off the wall and left the office as fast as he could go without sprinting out of the room. He shoved open the bedroom doors and went for the closet. He stopped dead in his tracks outside of it, anxiety clawing at his throat, but he forced himself forward to get his shit so he could get out of here.

“What’s going on?” Nik heard Lev ask from the doorway.

Nik stopped dead in his tracks before resuming once again. “Going home,” was all Nik said, going to toss a few of his jackets onto Cameron’s bed.

“This is home.”

Nik chewed on his bracelet and went back into the closest for more clothes. “Yeah, and so is Tullum. Papi is insistent on me coming home so he can take care of me while I’m pregnant.” He tried to keep the irritability out of his voice. It wasn’t Lev’s fault that Nik’s omega decided to kick into self preservation mode now.

Horrible timing, really.

“He won’t take no for an answer,” Nik said, dropping the rest of his clothes on the bed. “So I’m going home.” He fixed a smile in place. “That’s what’s best for the baby, am I right? Got to get the special angel healers and- and it’s a family thing. I’m sure you wouldn’t get it.”

Lev stared at him for a moment. “You can’t go with him. It’s not what’s best for the baby and it’s not what’s best for you.”

“And you devised that in what, the five minutes of interaction with him?” Nik asked, sharply. “Family clearly does not mean the same thing to you as it does to me and mine. There are traditions and- and I just.” Nik exhaled sharply through his nose and muttered under his breath in spanish and went back to packing. There was no point. “I don’t have a choice and it’s not like you can stop him.”

“Nik,” Lev said softly. “I know people scare me all the time, but... not like him. Not like that.” He crossed the room, trying to take Nik’s hand as he said, “I won’t let him take you.”

Nik shoved his hands in his pockets. “Do you want to die again?” Nik demanded, voice cracking. “You seem to forget that I am the only one in my family without magic. My family deals and trades in death and he has the power to absolutely obliterate anyone. Especially someone with no ties or protections offered by angels anymore. You literally just defied the laws of nature. Don’t get between us and ruin it for nothing.”

Lev’s face was the fiercest he’s ever seen from him. “You’re mine, and I’m not going to let him take you from us.”

Nik bit into his lip so hard he could taste the honey sweetness of his blood. He didn’t have an argument for that, especially when Lev’s head was annoyingly big when he was being annoyingly protective. It clearly meant he couldn’t listen to reason or fact. His father was just… he was death.

He put his head on Lev’s shoulder, not saying another word.

Nik was snapped out of his trance the moment he heard the sharp order in spanish to hurry up. His head lifted and sure enough his father was standing in the doorway with his arms folded over his chest. “We need to get going.”

Lev looked at Az’ril. “He’s not going with you.”

Cameron appeared like a wraith in the doorway behind his father, eerily silent and perfectly unruffled as he sidestepped Az’ril as if he were little more than a stool in his way. “Nikolas can take his time,” he said, coolly. “As much of it as he wants.” His pale eyes slid towards Nik, looking for his stance.

Cameron was going to follow Nik’s play, no matter what he wanted for himself. He’d let them all make their decisions and damn themselves, but it would always be their decision. He’d have no part in shaping it.

When Nik looked down at the ground, Cameron then said, “Of course, if I wanted, I could keep him here. He’s pregnant with my child and as it would be my property, so is Nik.” The sheer, so very faint distaste in those words in Cameron’s tone didn’t go unnoticed by Nik. “I’m sure you, someone of such high political standing, would understand that.”

Nik didn’t dare say a fucking word, even as Lev positioned himself between Nik and Az’ril.

His father locked eyes with Cameron. Cameron was several centuries younger than his father, even if Cameron felt eons older in the icy, composed stance he was taking. “My son is not your property,” Az’ril bit out.

“By demonic law,” Cameron said, mildly, “he is. The moment you decided to send your son into spy on me and mine forfeited your right to Nik, and made him mine.” Cameron looked over at Nik and Lev, gaging the both of them with calculated stillness. “Come here.”

Nik was frozen in place for a split second before Lev gently took his arm and nudged him over to Cameron’s side. If Lev hadn’t made him move, Nik would have been torn between standing still and being at Cameron’s side in a split second with the sheer Alpha in his tone.

Cameron fixed his eyes on Nik, and then Nik’s throat. “Of course,” he said. “I am speaking in demonic terms, and not angelic terms. So let me be very clear about this.” A chill rippled down Nik’s spine when Cameron's very sharp teeth sunk into Nik’s throat.

Lev ushered out of Cameron’s way, but Nik could sense his eyes were still trained on Az’ril as Nik instantly went limp at the claiming bite being branded into his flesh. Cameron caught him easily before he collapsed onto the ground from the amount of hormones being flooded into his body.

Nik whimpered when Cameron’s teeth came out of his skin. He caught the golden sheen of blood still on Cameron’s pale lips before pushing his face into Cameron’s chest. Cameron’s arm held him firmly in place as Nik reached for Lev’s hand.

Lev took it but didn’t take his eyes off Az’ril.

Cameron didn’t blink at the way Az’ril’s eyes narrowed. Angels held mating bonds to one of the highest standards in their lands and Cameron knew it. “You know where the door is, yes? If not I’m sure someone can show you out.”

Nik didn’t dare look up from Cameron’s chest, but he heard his father retreat from the room, and hopefully the house. “I’m sorry,” Nik mumbled against Cameron’s chest.

Cameron tugged on his hair. “Quiet,” he said, not harshly. The order did mellow the anxiety curling in his chest.

Lev lightly bit Nik’s shoulder. “You’re staying with us,” Lev mumbled against his skin. “You belong with us.”

---

Breakfast the next morning was quiet. Though, admittedly, most of their breakfast lately were quiet. Nik couldn’t drink coffee and so it took even longer for him to wake up. Cameron rarely had much to say in the morning, and Lev was always tired nowadays so quiet it was.

However, this morning, Lev had something on his mind. “Cameron?” he asked. “I had a question.”

“Hm?”

“Can we start working on a nursery? I imagine it’ll take some work, and...” He shrugged.

Before Cameron responded, he walked out of the kitchen. Lev stared after him, and looked to Nik. Nik was still staring at his decaf coffee, face blank and definitely not awake. Cameron reappeared, book in hand. Lev lifted the cover as Cameron went back to fixing breakfast.

Inside the book was... plans. Color swatches and crib options and even a sketched layout or two. Lev traced a picture of a crib made of dark brown wood and with little sea stars carved into the headboard. “You already started planning without me?” he asked, trying to not sound petulant.

Cameron flicked a look in his direction. “You were sleeping.”

A low blow, but a fair one. Sleeping had been preferable to being awake. “Point,” Lev finally muttered. “Well can I help with the rest?”

“If you want.”

“I do,” Lev said, flipping back through the book carefully. He would have called it a scrapbook if it hadn’t been so brutally efficient. Besides. If he had, Lev had the feeling Cameron would have been offended. “I’m guessing an ocean theme?” he said, peering at the options Cameron had deemed acceptable for baby mobiles.

Cameron placed a plate of bacon down in front of him. “It seemed to fit Nik’s tastes.”

“This isn’t my coffee,” Nik suddenly complained, rubbing his face.

Lev looked over. “Looks like coffee to me?” He wrinkled his nose. “Gross.”

Nik frowned. “This isn’t. My coffee.” This time he sounded more irritable.

“You’re not supposed to have caffeine, if that’s the problem,” Lev said, taking a bite of bacon.

“Says who?”

Lev offered him a piece of bacon. “Ash, probably. But also every pregnancy health book I’ve ever read. And I’ve read a lot.”

Nik slammed his mug down. “Well Ash isn’t here, and you’re not my boss.” He pulled out his phone, muttering in Spanish. Lev only got another piece of bacon before Nik startled him by shoving the phone in his face. “See? I can.” He was practically yelling, mostly from excitement from what Lev could tell.

Indeed, Ash had typed out a terse, “1.” Period included.

“Somehow that feels coerced,” Lev mumbled, before pointing out, “You have to convince Cameron too.”

Cameron sipped his tea calmly. “No,” he said. “Sit down.”

Nik plopped down, defeated. He stared at the counter sadly. “You’re all monsters.”

“Well, four more months and you can have caffeine again,” Lev encouraged.

“This leech is taking everything from me,” Nik mumbled.

Lev reached over, brushing his hair from his face. “Soon,” he promised, kissing Nik’s cheek.

Nik wrinkled his nose. “So what were you talking about before you decided to ruin my life?”

Lev closed the book carefully. “Nursery plans. Which- Cameron, do you think Nate would come paint the walls for us? I bet he’d do something pretty.”

Cameron put a plate of eggs and fruit down in front of Nik. “I already called him. He’ll be here tomorrow to start working on it.”

Lev huffed. “You’ve already thought of everything, haven’t you?”

“It’s easy. You’re both predictable.”

“What the fuck is this?” Nik demanded. “You give Lev bacon, and I get rabbit food? I’m a growing boy. I deserve bacon.”

Lev decided not to comment on the fact that he’d offered Nik a piece and Nik had decided to bemoan his coffee instead. “Eggs aren’t rabbit food,” he pointed out instead.

Nik took Lev’s plate. “Well fine then, you eat it. I’m eating your bacon.”

“Hey!” Lev reached for his plate. “Nik! Give it back.”

Nik just put his hand in Lev’s face, but Cameron switched the plates anyway. Nik whined, and all he got in response was a baring of Cameron’s teeth. Despite that Lev put a single piece of bacon on Nik’s plate.

Before any more bickering could start, a knock sounded. Lev peered over his shoulder in time to see a sentry leading a short woman into the room. She was hauling bags with her, though she set them down when she set eyes on Nik.

Nik had been in the middle of grumbling as he picked at his food, but when he saw her, he dropped his fork. “Mami?”

Lev watched them, mystified. He’d never met Nik’s mother, but when he looked to Cameron, Cameron just shook his head subtly like he knew what Lev was thinking. That left Lev even more confused, but he just looked back to see her cupping Nik’s face and fussing at him in rapid Spanish. In Nik’s defense, he looked pleased.

“Hello,” Lev offered when she seemed done. “I’m Lev?”

“I’m Mami Coco.” She looked to Cameron. “You can call me Socorro. I’ll be sleeping in a room next to Nikolas.”

Lev could see the annoyance flickering in Cameron’s face, but Nik looked happy, dark brown eyes shining as he got a hug from Mami Coco. Somehow Lev doubted Cameron would be irritated enough at the disruption in his plans and schedule enough to upset Nik over this. Instead, Cameron filled a plate for her too, and said, “Sit.”

There was a certain look to her that promised much headbutting in the future, but she sat beside Nik with a simple, “Okay.”

Tagging:  @incandescent-creativity @solangelo3088 @lil-miss-red @halstudies @littleyellowdinosaur @caelisis @idreamonpaper

[incandescent-creativity]

It just occurred to me that I can’t use the Cameron and Nik and Lev tag anymore and I just

😭😭😭😭

[incandescent-creativity]

@fragmentedink

“Does he ever change expressions?”

“He smiles sometimes. Usually when he’s hurting someone.”

[axbxlx]

Hell to Pay: Part Forty-Five

I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, IX, IX, XX, XXI, XXII, XXIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XVIIII, XXX, XXXI, XXXII, XXXIII, XXXIV, XXXV, XXXVI, XXXVII, XXXVIII, XXXIX, XL, XLI, XLII, XLIII ,  XLIV

cowritten by @lux-scriptum

Lev scrunched his nose at Nik, and flicked some water at him. "I think we need more scenty stuff," he said, sighing. "This wasn't enough with the last bath." It'd been a few more days, and Lev still had that lingering undercurrent of death to his scent.

Nik chewed on his bracelet. "I mean, it might be permanent?" Nik said, watching Lev carefully.

Despite himself, Lev's bottom lip trembled. He scrubbed at his face to get rid of the expression. "No," he said stubbornly. "It'll fade. I refuse to smell like roadkill forever. I just need to keep- to keep scrubbing at it." Even if he was already tired just sitting here.

"You don't smell like road kill," Nik said. "Amara's just a bitch."

Lev frowned. "She's blunt," Lev said. "And you agreed! At least that I smell... dead. I don't like it." He held up his rag. "So. Scrubbing."

Nik looked offended. "I didn't say I agreed," he protested, and went on to add petulantly, "If it bothers you that much, you can get axe body spray."

"I think I'd rather smell dead," Lev muttered, scrubbing at himself half heartedly.

"Are you sure?" Nik needled.

Lev threw his rag at Nik and blew a raspberry at him.

Nik caught the rag, smiling a little. "Well, apparently there are worse things to smell like than death, then, aren't there?"

"Hmph." Lev reached for one of the bottles of oils, and poured some in.

"See? I was right."

"Hmph," Lev muttered again, sinking lower in the water. It was hot enough he was flushed gold, but he doubted the warmth would last more than a few minutes out of the bath itself. He lifted a leg and draped it over the bathtub so he could poke Nik. "How long do I have until dinner?"

After grabbing one of Lev's toes and tugging, Nik said, "Until Cameron comes and yanks us out of here."

Lev wiggled his toes at Nik in response, before sighing and sitting up. "Get me a towel?" he asked, pulling the plug.

"Sure thing, Princess." Lev got out while Nik tracked one down, and let Nik rub him down when he got back. He kissed Lev's cheek when he was done.

Lev booped noses with Nik before he went to go find some clothes. Nik wasn't far behind, so Lev just grabbed the first sweater and pair of pyjama bottoms, and backed out of the closet again. He pulled them on and turned to make a beeline for the bed.

Nik caught him around the waist gently. "We gotta eat. Cameron will yell if we don't. Also... I'm hungry."

"We can eat in bed," Lev said, lifting a finger with each point. "I'm sleepy. Cameron never yells, and... we can eat in bed."

"Lev. No. We eat in the kitchen like civilized people do."

"I'm not civilized, I'm a zombie," Lev joked, even as he padded for the hallway.

"You're not a zombie," Nik said sharply, as he pulled Lev towards the kitchen.

"I know," Lev said apologetically as he followed willingly. "I was just joking. I thought it was funny, Nik."

He decided to ignore the look Cameron shot them, and settled at the table, immediately putting his head down.

"Did you not get enough sleep?" Cameron asked dryly.

"I'm sleepy," Lev mumbled.

There was a long stretch of silence, before, "I can see that."

---

Bedtime had become Lev's favorite part of the day. He felt less guilty about sleeping then. Once he was free of dinner, Lev all but dove into bed, and just peeped out from under the covers at Nik. Nik joined him indulgently.

That was all Lev needed to suction himself to Nik's side. He pressed his face to Nik, sighing happily.

"You're not an igloo anymore," Nik said.

Lev hummed. "Good," he said, sitting up and peeling out of his shirt. He flopped back down, closing his eyes. "Maybe the sleeping is helping."

"You mean it isn't my fantastic body heat that's helping?"

"Cuddles help," Lev agreed. "And taking the baths like Ash said probably helped too. Finally."

Nik hummed. "I mean, I guess."

Lev was too sleepy to argue. "Hey, Nik?" he asked, bumping Nik's head with his own.

"Hm?"

"Can you say it again?"

"You mean, 'You're not an igloo anymore'?"

"No," Lev mumbled. "The love thing."

Nik kissed Lev's nose, matching Lev's mumbled tone as he said, "I love you."

A smile crossed Lev's face. "I love you too. So much," he promised sleepily.

"That's because you have taste."

"Not according to Cameron."

"Yeah, well, that's because Cameron's a snob."

Lev laughed softly, but he was already drifting off.

---

Darius had spent the last week and a half, for lack of a better phrasing, hiding. The moment Destris had laid eyes on him, Darius had made good use of the last five hundred years of ghostly practice and kept his distance the best he could.

And the best way he could do that was by keeping Nate company in his house; even if that meant not keeping an eye on his mate in this time. He had barely had a moment where he could go back and just see Cameron and make sure he was getting back to his routine now that Lev was back.

He had spent the last hour or so in Nate's art studio watching Nate paint while his baby napped in a bassinet soundly next to him. At nearly four and a half months Lucas seemed to have grown a bit of chub in his dusted tan cheeks and had seemed to sleep almost completely through the night- especially since Bay and Nate moved Eden to a different room.

The little monster seemed to enjoy screaming in the middle of the night to wake everyone up in the house, especially the little boy who had been sleeping deeply across the room from her. Nate kept side eyeing him from the painting, watching Darius play with Lucas' dark brown locks. "...If you want," Nate said, "I could. Let you hold him? I know you won't hurt him."

Darius hummed faintly. "I know," he said, after a long moment. "However, I'm not too sure that your mate would be as agreeable." Especially since there had probably been a total of two or three people besides Bay himself who had held Lucas.

And that included Nate in the equation.

Nate sighed and leaned back, eyes turning back to the colorful painting he was working on. "Yeah," he agreed. "That's true. Though I think he's getting better." There was such a fondness in his voice, right along with amusement. "He even let Ash hold him, without threatening to break his fingers if he dropped Lucas. I think that's progress to be quite honest."

"Absolutely," Darius said, solemnly. "Besides I don't want to worry about waking the little one up. I'm sure with Eden's shrill lungs it makes nap time a bit difficult."

"The worst. I have the feeling Baylor fights the urge to smother Eden with a pillow on a daily basis."

"He has remarkable self restraint," Darius said, moving up to his feet from the floor. "Would it be alright if I went to check on them?"

Nate flicked him an amused look. "Well you don't need to ask my permission," he said. "Ash said that they seem to be settling back into some kind of normal now that Lev's home. Though I understand if you want to go see for yourself."

Darius gave him a smile before disappearing out of Nate's house to Cameron's. He showed up just in time to see Nik take a sleepy Lev presumably to the bedroom, and while he watched them for a lingering heartbeat, he then turned his attention back towards the kitchen where he knew Cameron would be.

He started his way and settled at the counter, watching as Cameron went about systematically cleaning the kitchen. He had watched Cameron, countless times, in how he cleaned. There was such a meticulous orderliness to it that was fascinating to watch. The kind of order this brought seemed to soothe something jagged within Cameron.

Cameron finished cleaning the kitchen; had wiped down the counters three separate times before finally leaving. He followed Cameron back to the office, settled at the far end of the house from the bedroom, and went to the desk where he promptly went back to doing paperwork.

Darius settled across from him in one of the leather chairs, out of the way. There were carefully stacked blueprints Cameron seemed to be going through while taking and making calls. He did not miss the carefully folded blanket and pillow on the leather couch against the wall, either.

After a while Darius slipped silently from the room and wandered to the bedroom Lev and Nik were sequestered in. He found Lev curled into Nik's chest, out cold while Nik played with Lev's dark waves, half asleep himself.

"It's sad isn't it?" a voice said, from behind him. "Once again you're all alone and left with me. You'd think five hundred years would be enough for you to finally realize you are nothing."

If Darius could actually draw in air, he'd definitely be heaving a long sigh. It wouldn't be worth the energy it would take and instead, he looked squarely at Destris. "I do not need five hundred years to tell me something false," he said. "We're all something and someone, however you just. Happen to be an ass. Are you planning on spending your afterlife watching after Cameron. With me? You could move on... be somewhere not trapped between life and death."

"Have you considered taking your own advice?" Destris asked, mildly. "Or is your infatuation for Cameron just that strong?"

"My love for Cameron is that strong, yes," he corrected. "Not that you would understand, of course. I think any love you had for your family was bled out of you long before Cameron was conceived. And anything that was left was twisted into jealousy."

Destris gave an amused huff of a laugh. "Are you suggesting I am jealous of a bastard?"

A bastard who happened to have admiration and respect earned instead of outright given. "I'm suggesting you find a way to forgive yourself and find peace," Darius said.

The growing amused look on Destris' face was enough that Darius decidedly left and went back to Nate's house, where he knew Destris would not be fool enough to step foot. He found Nate still in the art studio, but this time Lucas was awake and wiggling around on his stomach on the floor.

Nate instantly looked up from his spot on the floor next to his son. "Are you alright?" he asked, concerned. "You look... upset."

Darius shook his head and settled down on the floor next to him, watching Lucas wiggle and babble happily at Darius. "Hi baby," he said, softly.

Happiness lit up Lucas' face like a thousand little suns. Nate looked fondly at his baby. "He clearly takes after me," he said.

"I can see that," Darius said. "He has a beautiful smile."

"He's a beautiful boy."

While Nate and Darius went about gushing after the baby, Lucas decided to reach for the closest toy he could get his tiny gums on.

---

Lev woke up burning hot. He swallowed a whine, and sat up. Sweat slid down his back as he rubbed his face. After a second, he leaned over and took Nik's pillow from under Nik's head. Nik whined at him, still half asleep, but Lev just got up and crawled in the closet. He closed the door behind himself and set Nik's pillow down right up against it while he dragged his nest closer, and then flopped down, confused.

This was definitely his heat, which made how tired he'd been make so much sense. But with his fever rising, it was getting hard to focus. He couldn't explain why he needed to be here, in the closet, and not out there with Nik.

A few moments passed, and then he heard Nik sit on the other side of the door. "Are you okay? Do you need me to get Cameron?"

Lev watched Nik's fingers wiggle as far under the door as far as they could. "No," he managed. The only thing he could get his omega to tell him was that he had to protect Nik. Not from what, just that he had to do right by Nik and that meant keeping space between them.

"No, you're not okay, or no, don't get Cameron?"

Lev curled tighter. "I don't know," he finally mumbled. His throat tightened. "I don't know," he repeated, but his voice began to rise with barely contained hysteria.

He could hear and smell Nik leaving quickly. The distance between them sent pain spiking through him. He whimpered, bit down on his pillow, tears rolling down his cheeks.

A knock on the closet door startled Lev. Judging by how the pain eased, Nik was back, but it was Cameron who said, "Talk to me."

Lev pushed his back against the door firmly. "My heat- I didn't know- didn't want-"

"I know," Cameron said. "Do you want my help?"

"No," Lev said abruptly. He thumped his forehead against the door, muddling his way through the conflicting instincts. "No, I can't- you can't- no. We didn't talk about- anything before."

"We're talking now. What do you want?"

"No," was all Lev could manage. "I can't think." His fingers found their way to his hair and dug in. "It's so hot. I have to protect Nik. I have to do right by- no. I can't think. I can't- no."

Nik's voice was very high. "What do you mean you have to protect me?"

"I have to- my omega-"

"Let me help you. I want to help you." Nik paused. "Please."

"No." Lev closed his eyes. "No."

"Nik, go call Ash."

The door rattled a little as Nik sat down against it. Lev could hear him calling Ash as told, and he could smell how close Nik was. Lev shoved himself against it, and then he backed up somewhat. He buried his face in the pillow, sucking in a few ragged breaths.

He blocked out whatever conversation was going on on the other side of the door. All he could focus on was how hot he was. Shivers crawled down his spine, and even just laying there was unbearable even with the soft blankets and pillows with him.

For a few minutes, Lev wrestled with his instincts until he could drift into a half conscious doze. Cameron knocking on the door dragged him unwillingly from it just as he was adjusting it.

"Open the door, Levant," Cameron said, alpha firm.

Lev whined, but he scooted away from the door until his back hit the far wall, dragging his Nik-pillow with him. Cameron knelt in front of him. All he wore was a pair of black silk pyjama bottoms, and he had an open bottle of water in his hand. "Drink."

Lev took it warily, but half of it was gone in one go. It helped a little, but Lev just stared blankly at his alpha. When his alpha brushed his fingers against Lev's forehead, his cheeks, Lev held still. His head was spinning, and he could feel the heat radiating off of him.

"It's just a heat," Lev mumbled. "I can't- I can't think. I can always think."

"It's not just a heat. You were dead."

Lev pressed his palms against his eyes. "It's too soon," he whined. "I don't like this."

"You disliked being dead even more."

Another whimper came from Lev. He hunched over, at least until the water bottle started to spill. He sat up enough to stare at it blankly. In the end, he just held it out to his alpha hesitantly. Once the bottle was taken from him, almost gently, Lev folded in on himself again.

"You need to let Nik take care of you."

Lev shook his head. "I hurt- I'll- no. I can't." He didn't know how to explain the sheer conviction that he had hurt his omega before and that he would do it again if he wasn't careful. They hadn't discussed his heat. No one could consent in this. Not while Lev couldn't think straight and the other two would take care of him whether they really wanted to or not. It was how they showed they cared.

"Then what can you do?" His alpha was being so patient. Lev wanted to cry.

Instead he swallowed hard. His thoughts were racing, disjointed. "I can sleep." He pulled at his hair. "I can eat when I need to. But I can sleep through this."

His alpha nodded. "Fine. But Ash is on his way."

Ash. Ash. Lev had to blink a few times before the name clicked. Right. Ash. "Okay," he said in a small voice.

"Are you staying in here? We can move your nest to the bed, if you want."

Lev shook his head fiercely. "No."

His omega poked his head around the closet. "Can I come in there?"

Oh, the tone in his omega's voice. It hurt to whisper his, "No," but he just listed to the side and curled up. "I need you safe."

"Safe from what?" His omega asked, voice rising in confusion.

"Me," Lev mumbled, shrinking back into his nest and trying to crawl under the blankets.

That got his alpha's attention. "Lev, stop that. You're about as threatening as a piece of toast." Lev just closed his eyes and clutched the pillow close. Everything was so warm, and his head was swimming. His alpha put his hand in Lev's hair. "You're not going to hurt him."

It- it made sense, and yet- there was some sort of- voice, deep down, that his alpha was wrong, and he couldn't risk it. He couldn't. Logic had no place in a heat.

"Fine," his alpha finally said, resigned. "Nik's not going to leave. I'll be back in two hours."

Lev was confused until it clicked that it was probably almost three in the morning. Cameron usually got up before the sun, and that's when he started breakfast. At least he was keeping his routine. Lev just curled tighter.

---

Lev heard Ash before he saw him. The beta had the decency to knock on the closet door before he stepped inside. Lev's sleepy yes was enough invitation for Ash to kneel beside Lev's nest. Ash had questions for Lev, but when Lev just stared at him blankly, struggling to form a coherent thought, much less an answer, his omega took over for him from outside the closet.

"Why aren't you letting Nik in here?" Ash finally asked him directly.

Lev burrowed under his blankets. "I said no," he mumbled.

Ash sighed. "You need to stay hydrated," he finally said. "If he gets worse, call me."

"You're not going to make him?" His omega asked.

Lev almost wanted him to. He ached to be curled up in his boyfriend's lap, not huddled alone in a pile of blankets.

As soon as Ash was gone, Lev wiggled out of his clothes, throwing them out of the closet forcefully. Better. Better.

"Lev?" His boyfriend sounded so small and anxious. "Are you mad at me?"

Tears pricked at his eyes. "No," he choked out. "I love you. But I can't-" He had no idea how to explain the sheer conviction that Nik was safer away from him.

"You can still be mad at me and love me."

"I'm not mad," Lev said, finally starting to cry. "I'm not. I'm not. I just want- I have to do right by you. I just need- I need-"

"What does that mean?"

Lev flinched at the yell. "I don't know," he yelled back, and started crying harder. "I can't think."

"You don't have to think, you just have to let me hold you."

Lev wanted it. Wanted it so bad. His instincts were begging him to go, but he just curled tighter. "Just let me sleep," he said wetly.

"Okay," he heard his boyfriend say, and Lev could hear the tears in his voice too. Lev turned to face the wall, clawing for sleep. Maybe that would help.

---

Two days later, and everything was worse. His nest was soaked in sweat, and if Lev had been in any state of mind to be grateful, he would have been about the fact that he wasn't even a little aroused this heat. Instead he was hot and in pain. Every breath felt like swallowing glass, and he wanted to tear his skin off. It hurt.

Some time in the afternoon, Lev couldn't help it, and started to sob. That hurt too, but he couldn't stop. "Nik," he choked out, digging his nails into his arms to stay grounding. "Nik," he tried again.

The pain spiked as Nik's footsteps retreated. Lev muffled his cry with a pillow, curling tightly around himself. His alpha's scent appeared, but that wasn't who Lev wanted. "Nik," he whimpered.

His alpha grabbed him by the scruff. It was an old hold, one alphas used to make an omega go limp and make them easier to carry. Lev was honestly grateful for it; no matter how much it hurt, his body loosened enough for Cameron to carry him out of the closet. He found himself dropped in a lap.

"Let your mate take care of you," his alpha said firmly.

Lev couldn't argue with that. Not now. It felt right, with his mate's arms around him. Lev immediately started pulling on Nik's t-shirt. Nik hesitated, but let Lev undress him. Skin pressed against him, finally soothing most of the pain. Lev's tears lessened.

"Thank you," Nik mumbled as he held onto Lev.

Through his swimming thoughts, Lev managed to pluck out what he wanted to say. "You were right," he rasped.

"Of course I was. I'm always right." His mate sounded petulant, but all Lev cared about was the arms around him and the heartbeat against his hand.

---

Nik hadn't let go of Lev the moment he managed to get his claws into him. For the next day Lev's body temperature hadn't fluctuated in the slightest. Instead it had remained at a constant sweltering temperature, clinging to Nik the whole time.

He tried keeping his stomach not so pressed against Lev without his shirt. Amara's words about his weight were still ringing in his ears and he didn't need Lev's heightened instincts picking up on any of that.

Nik's head shot up when he heard someone knocking at the doorway. A growl was sitting deep in his chest before he even realized it was Ash at the doorway. That still hadn't stopped Nik from pulling Lev deeper against him.

Lev's only reaction had been a small whine and to dig his nails into Nik's back. Nik gave a small nip in apology before glaring at Ash. It was an effort to remind himself that this was Ash, even as annoyingly preachy as he was at times, he did in fact know what the hell he was doing.

"Can I come in?" Ash asked, from the doorway.

Nik was very aware of how firm his arms were around Lev's shoulders, keeping him as pressed against him as possible. He pressed his lips to Lev's shoulder before looking him in the eye. "Can he?"

Lev only stared at him blankly, eyes fever-bright and beyond gold. Nik took that nonanswer and looked back to Ash. "...sure," he finally said. But he stopped short and said, "Slowly." Unless Ash felt like getting a mouthful of teeth in his carotid. If he was a demon, that would hurt like hell.

Ash took that at the promise it was, and slowly came into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed a healthy space from them both. Ash's face was drawn tight. "Can I look him over?"

"Do I have to let him go?"

"No."

"Then go ahead."

Ash maneuvered around them, clearly having to do something like this before, quite possibly with other omegas in heats. The idea of having to deal with Bay during his heats would be nearly hysterical.

"Any changes at all?" he asked, Nik.

"His body temp has stayed the same, and Cam made him get out of the closet and come up here with me. Before that he was crying and in hysterics." When Lev didn't react to Nik's observations, he added, "That too. He just. Doesn't move and only responds when or if I try to move away from him. I think... he's been ignoring his base instincts, right? That's why this is so bad of a heat?" He fought the rising panic in his voice and kept himself carefully around Lev.

Ash's face was drawn tight. "Yeah, I think so. I wish Cameron had moved him to you sooner."

"He was trying to respect Lev's boundaries," Nik muttered irritably into Lev's burning skin. "And Lev got upset if I tried to come into the closet with him." Though that didn't stop Nik from also not wanting to be in the closet in the first place. And the guilt felt like acid.

That seemed to catch Ash's interest. "Why wouldn't he let you near him?"

"He said he was trying to protect me...?"

"Did he say what from?"

"Himself?"

Ash's face turned thoughtful, if a bit rueful. "Maybe he's trying to atone for trying to keep you dead."

Nik winced at that. "Okay but that doesn't even make sense. He doesn't remember doing that so why would he be trying to protect me from that idiocy now. If you haven't noticed, Ash, Lev is a little more alive? Telling me to be dead now would be a moot point."

"Are you, the most neurotic person I know, going to tell me that Lev would be using rational thinking during a heat at this current moment in time?"

When Nik moved to get just a little more comfortable to stop himself from smacking Ash upside the head, Lev whined and pressed deeper into him, promptly halting Nik's impulsivity. If it had been any other time he'd probably be sulking about it. If Ash didn't get a regular dose of a popping then he got unmanageable and too annoying. "We haven't been able to get Lev to eat very much," Nik admitted. "Not even Cam can until I try to help."

"I'll get an IV set up," Ash said, pulling out his phone to make a note. "Also I'm taking the room next to this one. I'm sure Cameron will be fine with it, if not he can get in line with everyone else who seems to have a problem with how I conduct things."

"Go nuts," Nik said, closing his eyes. "I'm sure he'll be fine feeding you as long as you prove to be useful to him."

---

When Bay said sit, Silas sat. He waited patiently on the couch, but when Bay put Lucas in his arms Silas went very still.

"You drop him and I break your arms," Bay warned.

Silas tucked Lucas close obediently, gazing down at Lucas. "Hi, baby," he cooed happily. Lucas babbled back, which only made Silas grin down at the infant.

"Lev's been alive for a week."

Silas stilled. "What?"

Even if Bay's firm look hadn't kept him in place, holding an infant would have. But still. "Hell of a thing to drop on me with no warning."

"Would you rather me have not told you?"

"No," Silas muttered, but he looked down at Lucas, and let the little boy grab onto his finger. That boy had more Nate in him than Bay, and  that was probably a good thing.

"That's what I thought. If it makes you feel any better, Nik didn't know either until a few days ago. It was a need to know basis, and you didn't need to know."

Silas made a face, leaning back. "You thought I'd run right over the moment I knew?" Silas asked, lifting a brow.

Bay mirrored his look. "If you're suggesting I don't know you're whipped for that boy and would drop everything for him in a heartbeat, you're sorely mistaken. As far as I'm concerned, this was two birds with one stone. Be mad about it all you want."

"He's hardly a boy," Silas grumbled. "If Lev wanted me to come see him he would have called. I didn't barge over there before he died, I won't now."

Bay looked at him for a long, long moment. Gaging. "With the amount you coddled, him, maybe I just assumed you didn't actually know he was an adult. I apologize. Next time your ex boyfriend dies, I'll make sure to act accordingly."

Silas grimaced. "Ouch," he said dryly, before, "Touche."

Bay looked satisfied. "Good." He watched Silas for the longest minute before saying, "If I leave for five seconds to go get my book, can I trust you not to drop my son on his head?"

"I won't budge an inch, Bay," Silas promised. He pressed a kiss to Lucas' forehead, grinned a little when the infant giggled at him around his knuckle.

Bay was only gone for a few seconds, and when he returned, he curled up on the couch opposite Silas and started reading. Silas watched Lucas, humming at him. So Lev was back. And he hadn't called. Which- fair. Not his omega. And Silas had been a shit friend. Maybe everyone was right. Enough people tell him to move on, maybe they had a point.

---

Amara flopped down beside Cin. Once she was settled, he started running his fingers through her hair. "When can we move in again?" Amara mumbled.

"Next week," Cin promised. "Tu pulled some strings."

Cin had found a nice house. Three bedrooms, a kitchen Cin swore up and down he would learn how to use, and two overly large bathrooms. He'd paid for it, and wouldn't let Amara know how much it'd cost. She wasn't sure she wanted to know. She'd promised him she'd let him take care of her.

"I'm assuming we're getting rid of most of my furniture."

"I told you you could keep the things that are sentimental," Cin told her sternly. "Even if it's everything in this apartment."

Amara sighed. "There's not much I want to keep," she admitted.

Cin tugged on her hair. "That's okay."

"Cin?" Amara mumbled.

"Hm?"

"You sure you want to be mated to me?"

Cin pulled her hair again. "I'll say it again, as many times as you need me, Mar. Yes. I wouldn't have asked if I hadn't wanted it."

Amara sighed again, louder, refusing to look up. "I want kids."

"I know."

"And you're okay with that?"

Cin was quiet for a long moment. Eventually he said, "Yes."

"You sure there, Cin?"

"Yeah," Cin promised. "I'm old, Amara. And I actually see a therapist. I think I can handle some kids by this point."

It was Amara's turn to be quiet. "I don't know if I can conceive or carry to term," she admitted quietly. "Not that I've tried, but fuck if I ever managed to keep it longer than a few weeks. Never fucked with protection, didn't care."

Cin let her ramble, and eventually pressed a kiss to her hair. "You've never tried to keep one," he pointed out. "And you've never been sober this long." He hesitated, and then added lightly, "And you're friends with a damn good healer."

"Who, Ash?" Amara asked. "He hates me right now."

"He doesn't hate you," Cin promised. "You should ask for his help, or at least his advice."

Amara grimaced. "Fine. I'll ask. But he's gonna say no."

---

Lev's fever broke two days later. He felt bone tired, and he ached, but he could focus for the first time in days. For a little while he reveled in the closeness, running his fingers down Nik's side, but eventually he looked up at Nik. "Hi," he rasped guiltily.

Nik's face was drawn, and Lev could see the exhaustion on his face. "Hi," he replied.

"I think my heat is over," Lev said in a small voice.

"I can see that. Why don't we get you something to eat?"

"Okay," Lev agreed easily. He hesitated, and then, "Are you mad at me?"

"Are you?"

"Mad at me or mad at you?" Lev blinked.

"At me," Nik clarified.

Lev shook his head a bit. "No?" He touched Nik's cheek lightly. "I wasn't and I am not mad at you. I- I don't know what that was. I can't explain it. My omega- my instincts were- strong. But they didn't make any sense. I wanted you. I promise."

The disbelief in Nik's face made Lev defensive, but he bit his tongue. Eventually Nik just said, "Can I put my shirt back on?"

"Oh. We're naked," Lev said, startled. "Right. Uh. Yeah?" He scooted away enough for Nik to be able to get his shirt. It hung loosely off of Nik. Lev watched him for a long moment, and then, "...mates?"

Nik lifted a brow. "So you remember that?"

Lev shook his head. "I remember what I felt. And I remember needing you. It got more fuzzy once Cam made me leave the closet." He tucked his face in the pillow briefly. "After that it's like my heat kicked into gear for real, and all I remember is it being hot."

"Yeah, you looked pretty out of it." He pinned Lev with a look "Please don't do that again. I thought you were out of the closet years ago."

Lev sat up slowly. "I won't," he promised earnestly. As Nik slid off the bed, Lev scooted towards the edge to follow. Nik was in the process of trying to pick Lev up when Ash barged in.

"Put him down," Ash snapped firmly.

Lev, who had barely made it of the bed, found himself plopped right back down. Nik looked guilty, but he glared at the bed rather than turn and face Ash.

"Hi, Ash," Lev said sheepishly, peeking around Nik. "I think my heat's over."

Ash glared at him, eyes glowing green with his magic. "Yeah, I can see that."

"I thought you couldn't see anything," Nik muttered.

Ash ignored Nik. "How are you feeling?"

Lev watched Nik sit down beside him before he said, "Better. Tired. Kind of achey, but- honestly I'm kind of hungry."

"I mean, probably. You haven't eaten anything in two days."

Lev blinked. "Oh." He stared at the IV in his arm for a good long moment, and then said, "I didn't mean to be such a-" He paused, frowning. "I can go eat now, can't I?"

"A little bit, yes," Ash said. "Your stomach is probably sensitive again."

Lev made a face this time. "Back to broth?" he asked sadly. He pushed himself up, holding onto the IV stand.

"If you hadn't ignored your instincts, we wouldn't be back to step one," Ash reminded him.

"I know," Lev replied. "I'd say I should have thought that through, but I wasn't exactly thinking at all." He looked back at Nik apologetically, and then said, "At least I'm better now."

Ash pointed to the bed. "Sit back down. You lost your standing rights. I'm getting you a wheelchair."

Lev blinked at him sadly. He would have argued, but his knees were already weak, and his head had been spinning lightly since he stood. He opened his mouth to agree, but even taking the step back to the bed was apparently a bit much. The ground rushed up to meet him.

Between Nik and Ash, Lev didn't actually hit the floor. Nik leaned over him as soon as they had him in the bed. "Are you okay?"

"Apparently not," Lev muttered, rubbing his forehead. He looked to Ash. "A wheelchair is probably a good idea."

Ash sighed. "Isn't it?"

"Can I do anything?" Nik asked, still sounding a bit panicked.

"I was going to get some pants," Lev said. "If you could get me some...?"

Nik was gone instantly. Lev peered out at Nik, and then at Ash. "I can still go get dinner, right?" Lev asked anxiously. "Just- with a wheelchair?"

Ash nodded. "It would do you good to get you out of this room."

"Can we go eat by the pool?" Nik asked in a small voice, setting Lev's pants down on the bed. Lev blinked, startled. He hadn't even known they had a pool. Of course Cameron had a pool.

"As long as Lev doesn't try to swim or drink the pool water, I guess."

Nik looked pleased, and looked to Lev, almost as if for permission. When Lev nodded, he all but beamed, and leaned over to kiss Lev's cheek. When Nik pulled away, Lev tugged him close again, pressing their foreheads together. He kissed Nik, soft and chaste. To his relief, Nik kissed back, if a little hesitant.

Lev pulled away before Ash could get annoyed, and looked down at the pants Nik had brought. "How am I gonna get dressed if I'm not able to stand up?" He asked pitifully.

"I'll help you," Ash replied.

And, well. That was that, Lev supposed.

[knightedwriter]

Happy New Year Caitlin! For secret santa I made you some pride aesthetics for Bay, Cam, and Nik, all of whom I absolutely adore. Your writing is intense and always has me on the edge of my seat. Bay has always been one of my faves, but Cam and Nik have definitely caught my heart (and Biela. Holy shit). I hope your year is filled with creativity!

Baylor Hale, bitter Gay(tm)

“I don’t know where you got the Adamant, but you’re too slow in this form to stab me.” 

Bay smiled a bit. “I know. That’s why there’s poison on it. Not the first demon I’ve met.” 

The demon looked at his hand and the black blood coating the inside of his palm before flicking his eyes to Bay. He had his hand around Bay’s throat hard enough Bay was moments away from having his windpipe crushed. “Can’t kill me” Bay wheezed. “Can you? Not when you’re playing fetch.” 

Cameron Lucin, chaotic Pan(tm)

The male cocked his head, pale, pale blue eyes lingering on the gun in more faint amusement than any concern of getting shot, before sliding up to Bay’s eyes. “I’m here to retrieve you.”

Nikolas Mejias, disaster Bi(tm)

“Eat this stupid cubed meat you pretentious bastard.”

Well. Maybe less coaxing and more demanding. Lev paused with a strawberry halfway to his mouth, shocked. “Nik,” he admonished without thinking.

“I said it in a caring voice.” Nik looked down at Cameron. “Please eat your cubed meat, darling, so you don’t starve.”

[fragmentedink-archived]

Hell to Pay: Part Fifty

I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, IX, IX, XX, XXI, XXII, XXIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XVIIII, XXX, XXXI, XXXII, XXXIII, XXXIV, XXXV, XXXVI, XXXVII, XXXVIII, XXXIX, XL, XLI, XLII, XLIII, XLIV, XLV, XLVI, XLVII, XLVIII, XLIX

cowritten by @lux-scriptum

A/N: trigger warnings for child death, mentions of stillborn children, child illness, abusive parents, appearance of Az’ril

Amara shuffled in front of the doors of Biela’s palace. This was not a conversation she wanted to have. But it was a conversation that needed to be had. Not that she really had a choice either way.

With a small breath to steady herself, Amara slipped inside. There were no guards in sight, but there weren’t supposed to be, anyway. In sight, at least. That didn’t mean Amara wasn’t aware she was being watched every step of the way up to Biela’s office.

Halfway there, a familiar face poked out of a nearby room. “Caius,” Amara said in greeting, relaxing some. He looked the image of his sister, Biela. Black hair, blue eyes, and bronze skin. Other than the fact that he was an alpha, and, well, a man, was that he was at least six foot, and Amara didn’t think she’d ever seen Biela smile so openly.

Today his smile was a bit more strained as he said, “If it isn’t the reason my sister’s more prickly than usual.”

Amara grimaced at that. “I know I joke about wanting your sister to step on me, but- not really digging it at the moment.”

“Probably wise, considering she’s dealing with this personally,” Caius said, before adding, “I can’t imagine your cousin’s first interaction with her was all that pleasant.”

That deserved the wince it got. “Probably not,” Amara agreed. “I haven’t been to see him yet. He’s wanted... space.” She swallowed, tried for a smile. “At least he’s not the type to hit on her like Nik? He probably shit himself when he saw her.”

“Oh he’d definitely be dead then,” Caius said.

“Good thing for us all that he’s an anxious gay mess then,” she said.

“Not for you.”

She winced.

“Do you realize the position your actions put us all in?” he said. “My sister went herself to deal with this. There is a reason that I am usually the one to go in her stead, and a good deal of that reason is because I am far more likeable and far more merciful. You made a mistake, Amara.”

“I know,” Amara said softly. “I fucked up.”

“You can’t unring this bell with an apology.”

“I can’t unring it period. Even if Lev dies, and I’ll be the first to admit he’s not out of the woods yet, it’s not going- it’s not going to undo what I made Cyrus do.”

“We’ll see if the witch survives this too,” Caius said, nodding up the hall to Biela’s study. “She’s waiting for you.”

Lovely. She just nodded and eased inside the office.

The office was bright, full of far more color than Amara would have expected if she hadn’t been there before. It was warm and open, but not even that could ease the trepidation in Amara’s chest as she crossed the room to Biela’s desk.

“Sit down,” Biela said, not even looking up from her paperwork.

Amara sat.

The silence stretched long enough Amara shifted uncomfortably in the soft chair. She’d not been stupid enough to bring weapons with her, and the lack of anything to fidget with didn’t help with how antsy she felt.

Eventually Biela looked up, leaning back in her chair. “Well thank you for gracing us with your presence.”

It took Amara a few seconds to pick out her response. “I should have come sooner,” she finally said.

Biela lifted a brow. “Before or after you poisoned my lands?”

“Before,” Amara said quietly.

“Yes.”

As Amara struggled to figure out what to say, Biela started sliding photos across the desk. A cold, sick feeling curdled Amara’s breakfast in her stomach. Those were sick children. Infants. Stillborns. Mortality was high in angels and demons both, but Amara’s magic was screaming that something was wrong with these children beyond the usual difficulties both immortal races had with pregnancy and childbirth, even if she couldn’t see anything beyond the sickly, unnatural thinness. When Amara looked up at Biela, who hadn’t stopped sliding more and more across the desk, there was no forgiveness in her icy stare.

I didn’t know. She choked the words off before they could even rise in her throat, stuffing it back down deep. Biela was a telepath. Likely she’d seen it, but Amara shoved it deeper anyway, and looked back down at the growing pile.

“How many?” She finally croaked.

“How many what?” she asked, venomously. “How many were born dead? How many died shortly after birth or how many are untouched by what you have done?”

“How many dead?” She asked, hating herself more with every word. “How many sick because of what I did?”

“The numbers are still coming in, but they’re in the thousands.”

Amara folded her arms over her stomach to keep from reaching for one of the photos. She had done this. Caius had warned her an apology wouldn’t fix this, but she hadn’t even imagined-

She couldn’t even look Biela in the eye anymore.

“Nothing to say?” Biela asked in a steely tone.

“I could spend the rest of my life trying to atone and nothing would-” Amara thought she might be sick. “I had no idea- but that is no excuse.” Gods, those were children. Infants.

Biela stood, leaning across the desk enough that Amara finally looked up out of sheer instinct. “I have half a mind to whip you and your cousin bloody.”

Amara would have taken it, and gladly, but that could kill Lev, on a good day. Lev was far enough from a good day to send a chill down her spine. Still, she knew better than to say anything at all, and just pressed her lips into a shaky line.

“Why should your pathetic cousin live, and thousands of children die?” Biela demanded. “He’s had a hundred and thirty seven years to do something with his life, and he’s done nothing but cower.”

The worst part was Amara had no answer for her.

“What, nothing to say to that either?”

“I don’t,” Amara admitted in a small voice. “I don’t have any answers.” She was in so far over her head.

“Well that is indeed a first.” Biela stared her down unflinchingly. “Maybe this time you’ll keep your arrogance in check. Instead of executing you, I’m letting you live with this.”

Amara almost would have preferred an execution. And maybe that was exactly why Biela wasn’t going to give it to her.

“I’m sorry doesn’t begin to cover it,” Amara finally whispered. “But I am. I am so, so sorry.”

“I’ll be sure to pass that along to the thousands of families that are grieving,” Biela said, before giving a final, dismissive, “Get out.”

Amara all but bolted. The guilt chased her down the hall, and would for a good few decades yet.

---

Nik had to admit he was less than pleased with the anxiety curling in his stomach as he waited outside of Cameron’s office door. He had probably been standing outside for a solid five minutes, trying to form exactly what he was going to say to make sure Cameron didn’t hate him, when Cameron’s voice yanked him out of his head.

“Get in here.”

Right.

Nik went inside, not surprised to find the window was already open for Nik’s benefit when Cameron motioned to shut the door. Of course Cameron was working on something; there wasn’t a single minute of the day that wasn’t allotted for something. He did find it interesting, however, to find bedding folded neatly on the couch by the wall.

Nik didn’t comment on it.

He plopped down in the chair across from him, feeling like he somehow got yanked into the principal's office for getting caught smoking in the boy’s room in high school. He folded his arms over his chest and leaned back against the chair, not really sure what else to do.

Cameron finished reading the paper he was on before removing his reading glasses and peered up at Nik. “Nothing has stopped you from speaking before,” Cameron said. “Don’t let it stop you now.”

Nik grimaced at the slight irritability in Cameron’s tone. “Why didn’t you say anything.”

Cameron scratched his face. “Not my place to say anything,” he said, after a moment of thought. “Your body, your choice. Tell me, don’t tell me. I didn’t and don’t care. As long as you were taken care of, I didn’t see why I should have commented on anything.”

“Maybe because you’re my alpha?” Nik retorted, annoyed.

“Again, not my place.” Cameron eyed him carefully. “Have you decided on what you’re going to do with the fetus?”

An excellent wordsmith, Cameron was. It irked him. “I don’t- I don’t know,” Nik said. “Why do you care when it’s clearly not yours.”

Cameron didn’t bother blinking, and just kept watching him. “Is that right?”

It’s your brother’s. “You know it is.”

“As far as I am concerned, it is mine.”

“I-”

“Yes,” Cameron said, leaning forward. “Unless you want to suggest otherwise, or do plan on aborting, I do not care. It is mine, it would have the same protections Eden has because that little cretin is mine as well.”

Nik’s face prickled and he curled back in the chair uncomfortably. “But- why?”

Cameron looked at him as if he were obtuse. “Because I care about you, idiot. If I did not, I would have gone ahead and let you be ripped to shreds when you decided to waltz your way into my house to spy on my family. If I did not, you would not be in my bed. You would not be in my house, and Lev sure as hell would not be alive and in my house, either. Neither of you would be here. Understand? I can live on my own, by myself without you or Lev or anyone decidingly annoying the hell out of me, but I choose to let you both drive me up the wall. So yes, as far as I am concerned the fetus is mine, because you are mine. Do you have a problem with that.”

“....no,” Nik said, in a small voice.

“Good,” Cameron said, with finality. “Then what are we going to do, because I’m sure Ash has hounded you with details about what you need to be doing. So you need to be deciding, and deciding soon, so I can deal with everything that needs to be done.”

Nik watched him blankly, not really sure what to say. “I cheated on you, though.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did.”

“Nikolas, we have never established anything exclusive. We are also not in a relationship, meaning exclusivity is void to begin with. What you have done while Lev was dead, as far as I am concerned, does not negate anything between you and myself. However, if you decide to overdose again, especially in my house, I will personally take you to Death’s door so do not ever try to do something like that again.”

“You can’t just excuse everything you don’t like, Cameron!” Nik snapped. “I- everything I did was completely out of line.”

“I’m not,” Cameron said, not even raising his voice an octave. “I am telling you, do something like that again, and you won’t live to regret it. Lev’s death was clearly hard on you, and I was willing to work with it- as it was my choice. Just like it will be my choice to not deal with anything else like that again. I’m too busy and tired to deal with any more mental breakdowns that are going to give me another headache. Do I make myself clear.”

Nik sighed sharply. “Why don’t you hate me,” Nik said, voice breaking. “I’ve done nothing more than be a thorn in your side and you’re still being like that.’

“Hate is a useless emotion,” Cameron said, baldly. “And not one I’d waste on you when you’ve done nothing to warrant it. Just because you annoy me doesn’t mean I do not enjoy your company.”

Nik wrinkled his nose. “That sounds suspiciously like affection,” Nik muttered. Cameron only rolled his eyes. Nik was quiet, not sure how to feel about anything Cameron just said, when Cameron didn’t really do fancy speeches regarding anything. “I just…. I don’t want to mess this up. I can’t take any of it back.”

“Then don’t take it back,” Cameron said. “Live with it, like the rest of us, and move forward.”

“Well when you put it like that.”

“I sound reasonable?” Cameron said, dryly. “It’s almost like I have five hundred years on you and know what the hell I’m talking about.”

Nik sniffled and wiped at his face. “I think…”

His voice faltered.

Cameron watched him, expectantly. “You think what?”

“I think I want to keep it- the baby,” he said, in a tiny voice. “I just…”

“Then keep it and we’ll deal with it,” Cameron said. “However, there is the matter of making sure the child is recognized as legitimate.”

Nik blinked at him, confused. “Are you saying you want to get married? Because if so-”

“That is not what I’m saying,” Cameron said, looking vaguely repulsed with the idea.

“Oh. Well. I was going to say that was a shitty proposal.”

“Good thing it wasn’t a proposal, then.”

“Then what were you saying? Because I don’t want the kid to be a bastard. Less likelihood of one of your brethren eating it.”

“Well,” Cameron said. “You’re not wrong.”

That was comforting.

Cameron sighed and scratched his face. “What I was saying, before you rudely interrupted me, was that there is a way to legitimize the child, without marriage. However, that is through a mating bond. I am willing to provide one if it will protect the child.”

Nik stared at him, mouth slightly open. “You what.”

The annoyance returned to Cameorn’s face. “Nikolas, you know I detest repeating myself.”

“Yeah, well, I detest getting punched in the face with that kind of offer, Cameron, so excuse me if I’m a little surprised.”

“Do you or do you not accept.”

Nik fell silent. “Cameron?”

“Hm?”

I love you was on the tip of his tongue, but he knew it would make Cameron uncomfortable, and Nik cared enough about Cameron’s boundaries to not push it. So instead he said, “Thank you.”

The smallest crease appeared between Cameron’s brows. “For?”

“Seeing me.”

----

Lev tried not to let it bother him that Cameron had cleaned up his mess with the plates before he could get to it. And he tried not to let it bother him that Nik was being quiet, and even a little hesitant around him. The unspoken trauma that he knew Nik and Cameron both carried was something that they’d all avoided talking about in the time Lev knew them, but he didn’t like knowing he was the one to trigger Nik’s.

So Lev spent his time napping, as he had for the past month or so, hoping that sleep would magically cure the fact that he’d been dead not too long ago. Or at least make everything hurt a little less. It hadn’t helped anything. Telling them. And maybe that was because of how he’d told them about the pregnancy he’d hidden and lost. The bitter taste of anger still frightened him; it wasn’t natural for him. It felt wrong.

It took Lev a good long while to realize Cameron was leaning against the doorway. Lev tucked his arm under his cheek so he could peer at Cameron a bit more, and gave a quiet, “Hi. Everything okay?”

“Ash will be here in a little bit. You need to get out of bed.”

Lev blinked. Cameron was already gone, so Lev slid out of bed, pausing long enough to slide on one of Nik’s hoodies that he’d stolen several days ago. He figured that and the pair of boxers he’d slept in were good enough. He stuffed his hands in the pockets and shuffled after Cameron. At least he was allowed to nowadays. He nodded awkwardly at the sentries he passed, and found Cameron, as expected, in the kitchen.

Lev settled at the table, watching Cameron make lunch. “Do you want to talk about...” He hesitated, and just left it at that.

Cameron glanced up at him. “Start talking.”

Fair enough. “I never got the chance to decide if I was going to tell you,” Lev admitted quietly. “Before I died. That I was pregnant.”

Cameron was quiet for a minute. “Did you have it confirmed?”

Lev hesitated. “No,” he admitted. “But too many... symptoms lined up. I didn’t get the chance. I just panicked. I couldn’t think.”

“Sounds about right. It was your choice either way, about what to do about it. I’m sure I would have agreed with whatever you wanted.”

“I know,” Lev said. “Just from how you’re handling Nik’s pregnancy.” He watched Cameron for a few minutes, and then said, “He knew. When he killed me.”

Cameron looked his way, for a bit. Lev waited him out patiently, but in the end Cameron said, “That does sound like my brother.”

With a sigh, Lev looked down at the table. “There’s more,” he said eventually. “He said Eden is his.” He mulled over the memories, trying not to flinch at the fresh reminder of pain. “He... implied there might be more than just Eden. But he could have been- by that point I was very confused.”

Cameron gave a forceful sigh, and said, “That also sounds like my brother,” before going back to chopping vegetables.

Lev nodded slowly. “I wanted it,” He finally admitted. “I still do. And it kills me that- I lost it.”

“What would you like me to do?”

“There’s nothing we can do,” Lev replied. “It’s not- I just have to learn how to live with it. And... making sure Nik is healthy and as close to happy as we can get him is more important. But I thought- if it had to come out, you should know, I probably- I would have chosen to keep the baby.”

Cameron put down the knife. He rubbed his eyes, before saying, “I’m sorry I didn’t protect you.”

“I left,” Lev replied. “And you said you wouldn’t make me stay. I made that choice. It was a terrible one, and I lost everything because of it. But it was mine.” He tapped his fingers on the table.

“Well.” Cameron said. “Do you want another one?”

Lev blinked. “Eventually,” he admitted after a moment. “But not now. I don’t want to- Nik comes first. He needs us more than I want a child. I waited almost a hundred and fifty years to find someone I felt safe enough to want a child with anyone. I can wait more, if that’s an open ended offer.”

“We’ll see.”

Lev had to smother the instinct to try to take it back, to ask if they could- but he’d meant it. Nik needed him. And Lev had Eden. Would have whatever child Nik did, if Nik decided to keep it. And besides. Things were... messy right now.

“Cameron?” Lev said quietly. “I’m... I’m sorry. And I know words won’t fix what I did. So I’ll do my best to show it. Everything, but especially what happened with Nik.”

“Yes,” Cameron said, icily. “I imagine you would feel sorry for telling a suicidal nineteen year old to stay dead.” Cameron went back to slicing vegetables with careful precision. “I’m sure Nik has forgiven you, though.”

“He’s not the only person I wronged, though,” Lev replied.

“Hm.”

Lev waited, but when nothing else was forthcoming, he nodded at nothing. Rather than continue digging, he settled his chin on his hands and watched Cameron cook in silence. When Cameron put a fancy salad in front of him, Lev mumbled a thank you and poked at it and blinked gratefully at Cameron when he handed Lev some ranch.

While Lev dug in with a little more enthusiasm, Cameron left, presumably to go get Nik. When Nik plopped down beside him, he looked a little sick. Lev patted his knee in comfortingly, but Nik just wrinkled his nose.

“What are we? Rabbits? I thought demons eat people. Why the fuck are we eating salads?”

“There’s chicken in the salad,” Lev offered helpfully. “It’s healthy to eat a vegetable or two, Nik.”

“Yeah, if you’re a rabbit.”

Lev bit his shoulder lightly. “Or in need of some vitamins.”

Nik shot him a dirty glare. “Fine,” he grumbled.

Lev hummed and took another bite.

Ash showed up while Cameronw as cleaning up, before Lev could go back to bed. Probably for the best. Ash hadn’t approved the amount of moping Lev had been doing lately. Lev waved at Ash, giving a small hello.

Ash lifted a brow. “Hi.”

Lev watched Ash for a moment, and then said, “How’s Lucas?”

Ash smiled. “An angel. Compared to Eden.”

“Do you know when we can bring her home?” Lev asked hesitantly. He missed his little monster, and he was quite sure she missed him too.

“I’m sure Bay would let you take her right now, if you wanted.”

Lev perked up a little, but then settled again. “We can’t until you say I’m healthy enough to handle it,” he said solemnly. “And I don’t want to rush it and get sick again, if you don't think I am.”

“Well. I think one final check up is in place. You seem to be keeping your food down. And, you know, not dying. Maybe then you can bring her home.”

Lev nodded, brushing his hair out of his eyes. “Okay,” he said agreeably. “Can we start?”

--

“So it looks like you’re doing pretty good,” Ash confirmed an hour later. “All things considered anyway. But you shouldn’t strain yourself or push your luck. I don’t want you lifting more than thirty pounds until I give the okay.”

Lev nodded vigorously. “I understand,” he promised.

Ash stared him down. “If you lift more than that, I will know.” Coming from Ash, that was more a threat than a promise.

“I know,” Lev promised.

“Good,” Ash said. “Bay also wants to see you.”

If it hadn’t been that tone, Lev might not have paid attention. “See me?” Lev asked slowly. “Or... see me see me?”

“What do you think?”

Right. Lev swallowed. “When?” He finally asked.

“Well,” Ash said, “As soon as I gave the green light. And I just did.”

“O-oh.” Lev looked down at what he was wearing. Still in boxers and Nik’s hoodie. “I should get dressed, then,” he said. “And... ask Cameron to drive me?”

“Probably a good idea. I doubt you can drive.”

Lev shook his head, flushing. He stood, looking to Cameron, who had stuck around. “Is that okay?”

Cameron nodded. “Go get ready.”

Lev nodded. “I’ll get Nik?” he said, backing for the door.

“He’s by the pool.”

Lev scooted down the hall, trotting to the pool. Nik was on the edge of the pool, feet in the water. “Nik,” Lev said. “I gotta go see Bay,” he said, settling beside Nik.

Nik toed the water. “Hm?”

“I don't think this is the sort of talk I can wear just your hoodie and some jeans to,” he said. “You know more about clothes. Can you help me?”

Nik splashed the water a bit with his foot, and then stood. He pulled Lev towards the house again. “I think I got something you can wear.”

Lev nodded, tucking himself into Nik’s side. Nik pulled away only to go digging through Lev’s closet. While he waited, Lev settled on the bed. He pulled off Nik’s hoodie and folded it while he waited for Nik to pull things out.

Eventually Lev found himself dressed in dark jeans and a grey henley. Nik stuck him in a blazer and tried to put him in a pair of white sneakers.

“Aren’t my converse good enough?” Lev protested.

“Considering you came to me for fashion advice, what do you think?”

“That I’m going to be very uncomfortable,” Lev mumbled, reaching for the shoes Nik picked.

“Well it either these or dress shoes,” Nik said, even as Lev put them on. Lev stuck his tongue out at Nik in reply. Nik just lifted an eyebrow. Instead of saying anything, Lev kissed his cheek.

“Are you ready yet?” Cameron asked from the doorway.

Lev pulled away from Nik. “Do I look okay?”

“You look like a gay high school principal,” Nik said solemnly, just as Cameron said, “You look respectable.”

He felt ridiculous, but he supposed that would have to do. He fussed with the blazer and looked at Nik. “Anything else I need?”

Nik pursed his lips. “Spectacles?”

“I can see just fine, Nikolas.”

“I didn’t say you were blind,” Nik said. “I just said you needed glasses.”

Cameron looked annoyed, but Nik’s teasing had eased some of Lev’s anxiety. He took Nik’s hand, and said firmly, “No glasses,” before looking at Cameron. “I think I’m ready to go now?”

Cameron’s answer was to simply leave, so Lev tugged Nik along after. He opened the front seat door for Nik.

Nik made a face. “Is this because I’m pregnant?”

Lev kissed his nose. “It’s because I’m a romantic. And a thank you for helping me figure out what to wear.”

“Uh huh,” Nik said, sliding into his seat.

Lev decided to ignore that, and got in the backseat.

---

It surprised no one that Eden was throwing a fit when they got there. Lev could hear her before Silas even opened the door. The bigger angel stared down at him with wide eyes, like he didn’t really believe Lev was there, but Lev peered around him.

“Is Eden okay?” Lev blurted.

Silas blinked, stepping back automatically. “Uh, yeah. She just- I don’t even know, she’s just angry.”

“Hm,” Lev said, ducking around him. He didn’t have to go far to see Eden tottering down the hallway, screeching around a stuffed giraffe with big black tears rolling down her grey cheeks. She stopped when she saw him so abruptly she fell back on her butt, which really only made her wails get louder.

Lev was quick to scoop her up, murmuring comfort to her as he settled on the floor. When Eden tried to smack him, he caught her little hand easily, and despite that, she settled somewhat.

By the time Eden calmed, Lev realized that Bay and Nate were there. The moment Lev locked eyes with Bay, however, Bay said, “My office.”

Lev pulled himself to his feet and handed Eden off to Cameron, wiping a few tears off her face before following Bay back to his office.

After a moment of hesitation, Lev settled in a chair, trying not to fidget as he waited for Bay to start talking.

“I see that you’re not dead.”

Lev nodded. “I think it was a bit touch and go there for a little bit,” he admitted. After a second, he added, “Once they brought me back. I was definitely dead for a bit there.”

“Ash did seem irritable lately.”

Lev winced at that. “I’m sorry,” he said automatically.

Bay leaned back in his chair, watching him expectantly. “Ash is always like that,” he eventually said.

“Oh.” Lev considered that. “I didn’t see much of him before I died. I think the last time I saw him for any extended time was the night I left Remiel.” He thought for another second. “He seemed irritable then, too, now that I think about it.”

“Hm,” Bay said.

Lev fiddled with his sleeve.

“I’m assuming that Ash told you I wanted to speak to you now that you’re not in danger of dying again.”

After a second, Lev nodded. “He did,” he finally said.

“I’m assuming you know why.”

Lev stared at him for the longest moment. Eventually he said, trying very hard to not sound unsure, “It’s about Nik. Or- what I did while I was dead, with Nik- and- that.”

“It has nothing to do with Nik, and everything to do with the fact that you ignored and disobeyed a direct order from your king.”

“Oh,” Lev said in a small voice. “I- oh.”

“Oh, indeed.”

Lev swallowed. “I don’t have any excuses,” he finally said. “And I’m not going to waste your time trying to think of any.”

“Probably wise. You don’t need to dig yourself a deeper hole.”

Lev watched Bay for several awkward minutes. “I’m assuming there’s consequences,” he finally said.

“Correct.”

“Okay,” Lev said simply. Hadn’t he asked for exactly that, days ago when he’d shattered Cameron’s dishes?

“I’ll even let you choose.”

That got a blink from Lev. “Choose?”

“Well I was thinking nineteen years imprisonment, no contact with outside sources,” Bay said. “All your assets and lands would be seized, all titles forfeit. You would have nothing and be nothing.”

Nineteen years. One for every one that Nik had lived, Lev assumed. “And the other option?” he finally said.

“Exile with the same stipulations, except it’s for fifty-seven years,” Bay said levelly. “I’ll leave the choice to you. Choose now.”

For a few moments, Lev stared blankly, thoughts spinning too fast to catch. After a couple heartbeats, though, he forced himself to focus. “I can’t- I won't - put Eden though losing me again,” he said finally. “I’ll- I’ll go into exile. She needs me.”

“Fine. You’ll have twenty-four hours to say your goodbyes and leave the territory. If you’re still here when your twenty-four hours are up, you’ll spend the fifty-seven years in a cell.”

It took a few seconds to click. “O-oh. Okay.” He stood, and then hesitated. “Thank you. You didn’t have to give me any time at all.”

“I know,” Bay said. “My actions have consequences too.”

Lev backed out of the room, sidestepping sentries until he could lean against a wall and breathe. He wasn’t sure he’d made the right decision, but- he’d missed four months of Eden’s life. He’d missed her first steps. He didn’t want to miss anything else.

To his surprise, no one interrupted him. He had all the time and space he needed to gather himself before he went to find the others.

Nate was the first person he ran into. Guilt twisted Lev’s stomach up in knots, but he blurted out a quick and fierce, “I am so sorry,” before Nate could say anything at all.

Even Nate’s kindness was clearly strained. “You should be,” Nate replied. “You almost cost me my brother.”

“I know,” Lev said in a small voice. “I wasn’t- I was wrong. He’s so young. And I was selfish. But I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make up for even a fraction of what I would have cost everyone if he’d stayed dead. He deserves that and so much more.”

Nate cocked his head, but didn’t say anything at all.

“I know Nik forgave me, but he shouldn’t have. I haven’t done anything to deserve it yet.”

“Hm. Of course he did. Nik will forgive anyone he loves.”

The fact that Nate, of all people, was being so abrupt with him hurt. Nate was the kindest person Lev had ever met. But Lev’s betrayal had cut deep, and he knew it. “I’ll take care of him,” Lev promised, forcing some spine in his tone. “I promise.”

“Good. Be sure that you do.”

Lev nodded, and slipped around him. He found them in the kitchen. Cameron was holding Eden, looking annoyed, and Nik was sitting at the counter, chewing anxiously on one of his bracelets. The first thing Nik said when he saw Lev was, “Are you okay?”

At some point Bay had joined the rest of them, and had Lucas in his arms. Lev glanced in his direction as he crossed the room to Nik’s side. Lev leaned into Nik, pressing his nose to Nik’s neck. “I’m okay,” he promised. He looked at Cameron anxiously. “I’m being exiled, for fifty-seven years.”

Cameron didn’t even blink. “I suppose that’s better than the alternative.”

Lev winced. “The other option was being in a cell for nineteen years.” He could feel Nik tensing underneath him.

“That’s bullshit,” Nik said loudly. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Eden was getting restless, giving a small cry

“Yes, I did. Bay ordered me to leave you alone. I did not. Technically, disobeying my king is a form of treason,” Lev offered softly.

“Yeah, well, that’s because Bay’s an emotionally constipated dick,” Nik retorted.

Nate gave a small, “Nik, please. There are two infants in the house.”

Lev fisted his hand in Nik’s shirt, biting Nik’s shoulder in warning. “It’s okay,” he said as firmly as he could, before looking at Cam. “I can stay, can't I?” He stopped, and then asked, “I mean, can I stay?” He didn’t add that he didn't have anywhere to go; it would have felt manipulative.

“Of course you can stay, that’s your home,” Nik said sharply.

Lev pulled back, looking at him. “It’s not my house,” he said simply. “It’s why I’m asking Cameron.” He switched his gaze to Cameron. “After everything, you have every right to say no.”

Cameron bounced Eden lightly. “Nik wants you there.” That seemed to be the end of what Cameron wanted to say.

Lev touched Nik’s chest lightly. Before he could figure out what to say, Nik once again tensed underneath him. Lev followed his gaze to the man that stood in the doorway. He looked almost like Nate, with the fine boned features and longer hair. It took several seconds to recognize him as Az’ril.

Nik and Nate’s father.

Out of the corner of Lev’s eye he saw Nate looked at the ground. Nik, on the other hand, glared at his father. “What are you doing here?” Nik demanded hotly. “Scare any children lately?”

Az’ril leveled Nik a look. “Nikolas. I see you’re just as crass as ever.”

Nik pursed his lips, but before he could say anything, Bay said, “Az’ril that’s enough. You’re here to see me.” Bay handed Lucas to Nate. “We’ll take this to my office.”

As Az’ril left, Lev realized Nik was trembling. When he realized Cameron was approaching, he moved so Cameron could hand Eden over.

Lev swallowed. “Can you take me to see Reneé and Amara?” he asked Cameron.

“We should probably get going then. You can’t have long before your sentence goes into effect.”

He wasn’t wrong. Lev caressed Eden’s cheek lightly.

“Do you want to take Eden with you?” Nate offered. “It won’t take long to pack up her stuff.”

Lev looked to Cameron hopefully. “Can we?”

Cameron inclined his head. “Might as well.”

Lev smiled at Nate. “Can I help pack?”

---

Lev tried to stay engaged on the ride to Reneé’s apartment. She seemed happier, with her own place, andfreer, almost. Amara never showed up, even though Lev texted her to let her know what was going on. He tried not to be hurt by that, and spent a lot of time hugging Raziel. Cin lurked, but he ruffled Lev’s hair when he left, though he gave Eden a wide berth.

On the way home though, it was a struggle to keep his attention on Eden. Nik was quiet too, and since Cameron didn’t bother to put on music, Eden’s babbles were the only sounds in the car.

Cameron whisked Eden away, likely to feed her and put her to bed, so Lev wandered to his bedroom and flopped down, kicking off the stupid sneakers as he did. Nik settled beside him, watching him with an unreadable expression.

“You okay?” he finally asked.

Despite his best efforts, Lev’s eyes burned. “I’m fine,” he forced out.

Nik’s eyes narrowed. “I thought you didn’t lie to me.”

Lev considered that, and found himself closer to tears. He too a few breaths before reaching for Nik’s hand. Nik let him press it to his heart, feel the steady, if a bit fast, rhythm there. “I- I’m here. I’m home. And I’ll get to be here to raise Eden. I- I consider that just fine.” He licked his lips as he tried to explain why his chest felt so tight. It didn’t help to watch Nik’s lips thin, but Lev made himself go on. “But- even though I never considered angel territory a home- it was just where I lived. I wasn’t happy there, Nik. I didn’t feel- few enough liked me. But I still feel like I lost something today. I don’t regret choosing you and Eden over a shorter sentence. I don’t. I won’t, ever. But- I’m sad. I’m... grieving, and it feels- sounds- stupid to say that.”

“Well, yeah, I imagine being forcefully evicted from your home for the last hundred and forty years and all of your shit taken from you hurts a little bit. Even if you do romanticize it.”

Confusion was strong enough Lev’s tears never made it to his cheeks. “What do you mean romanticize it?”

“Saying that Eden and me are enough,” Nik said, sharply. “That because you love us, that's enough. It was still where you lived. It was where your family is, where you grew up. A hundred and forty years in one place and you’re perfectly ‘fine’ as you put it. That suffocating shithole is still my home, even if I was miserable there, because even if you hated it, it made you, you. So yeah. I’d say you were lying to me.”

Lev blinked. “This is why I forget how young you are,” he mumbled. “You make more sense than I ever did at nineteen.” Closing his eyes felt like a betrayal, so he just squeezed Nik’s fingers where they pressed to his chest. “I spoke the truth as I understood it,” he finally said. “But you’re not wrong. It’s... it’s a lot. And I don’t know how to process it yet. I don’t think I want to.”

Nik yanked his hand back. “Will you stop saying how young I am? I am perfectly aware of how old I am.” There was something hard in his face. “You don’t seem to care how young I am when you suck my dick.”

Now that one hurt. Because Nik was right. Lev watched him warily, unsure of how to respond just yet. It wasn’t like he could apologize. He knew how Nik flinched when someone said sorry around him. “I didn’t mean to upset you,” he finally said. “I’m not good at- talking about the important things. I’m trying to be better, and it’s good that you call me out on it. Right now...” Lev trailed off, thinking hard. “Right now, I’m feeling a lot, and I don’t want to. Deflecting was automatic. I didn’t mean to lie.”

Nik watched him long enough Lev wanted to squirm. Eventually, he said, “Sure. We should probably go get Eden settled.”

Lev nodded. “Give me a few minutes?” He asked. “I’ll follow soon?”

“Okay,” Nik said, rolling off the bed.

Lev waited until it was quiet, tucking his arm under his cheek. “Darius?” he whispered. There was no answer, but Lev hadn’t expected one. “Did I make the right decision?” he asked anyway. A lump was forming, and he hated it. Hated how quick he was to cry. It made him feel weak. Childish. “Should I have come back at all? I keep making things worse.”

Something cold touched his cheek, and a shiver went down his spine. It felt like it was leeching all the feeble warmth he’d produced, especially as that cold traced down his throat.

Lev was out of the bed before he could think about it. Whatever he was supposed to understand from that didn’t matter. He took off his blazer and threw it on the bed before he followed Nik to the kitchen. He’d think about it later. Or maybe he wouldn’t.

---

Amara was exhausted by the time she made it to Biela’s palace. She’d flown the whole way there. Hadn’t even bothered to take her motorcycle. She made her way past the gates, trying to get her panting under control.

After searching the halls for a bit, Amara had herself a little more under control. Somewhere along the fifth corridor she wandered, haf hoping she didn’t find Biela, she ran into Dacia.

The plump, blonde angel sized her up with a knowing eye. “You look a little lost.” Despite those words, Dacia had a kindness to her. It reminded Amara a little of Nate, whose sheer goodness made Amara feel... a little guilty sometimes.

“I’m looking for Biela,” Amara admitted.

“I assumed. Would you like me to take you to her? Or would you like to stay a little lost for a while longer?”

Amara managed a small smile. “I have a bit of a time sensitive conversation,” she said. “As much as I’d like to be a little lost a while longer, I think I should... probably bite the bullet.”

This time Dacia looked a little grim. “Fair enough. She’s in her dance studio. I’ll take you to her.”

Amara looked down at the floor as she followed. She only looked up when they approached a pair of double doors Amara recognized. She waited until Dacia had stepped inside to poke her head in. Biela was not in her usual outfit, and she looked sweaty. If she was tired, it didn’t show.

The music Amara had barely noticed stopped the moment Biela looked her way. “What do you want?”

“Bay exiled Lev,” Amara said before she could stop herself.

“I’m aware,” Biela said. “I’m failing to see your point.”

“I made the poor choice of not keeping you informed once. I won’t do it again.” Amara fought to keep her voice steady. “I came to ask you to consider mercy. If you’ve not decided whether or not he can stay in your lands, I- he has nowhere else to go. I just- please.”

“Stop groveling. You sound pathetic.”

Amara straightened - stiffened.

Biela reached for a towel, patting her face. “Him not having anywhere else to go sounds like a poor choice on his part.”

“He made that choice because Eden needs him.”

“What is one child to thousands?” Biela asked. “That child is not your cousin’s. He has no right to her, or to be in my lands. He offers me nothing. I have to make the right decision for my people. Not an angel.”

“Then I don’t have any argument for you,” Amara replied quietly, her heart cracking just a little. “All I can do is ask for your mercy.”

Biela gave her a little smile. It wasn’t one bit friendly.

“Biela,” Dacia said softly.

Biela flicked Dacia a sharp look. “Don’t call me that.”

This time Dacia smiled, the expression small, and maybe a little fond. “Bea,” she corrected herself.

This time Biela looked a bit satisfied. “What will you give me? How much is your cousin’s life worth to you?”

“Anything,” Amara breathed. “I did all of this so he could be happy. I’ll do anything to give him that chance again.”

Biela lifted her chin ever so slightly. “Fine. I’ll restrict him to Cameron’s house. You will not see him again.” Dacia made a small noise. Biela looked a little annoyed, but added, “Until I feel otherwise. Any contact and he’s back in the ground.”

Amara swallowed the lump in her throat. “Okay,” she whispered. “Thank you, Majesty” she added, more clearly, flicking a look to Dacia to let her know she was included in Amara’s feverish gratitude.

“Anything else you came to beg me for?” Biela asked, drawing Amara’s attention back to her.

“If there’s anything I can do to- to at least- ease the effects of what I did- even if it costs me my life- I’ll do it,” Amara said, even though she knew it was stupid.

“Do not tempt me,” Biela said, turning away in a dismissal even before she clipped out a curt, “Leave.”

Tagging:  @incandescent-creativity @solangelo3088 @lil-miss-red @halstudies @littleyellowdinosaur @caelisis @idreamonpaper

[incandescent-creativity]

OH THOSE COLORS

TWENTY TWO FUCKING HOURS THIS TOOK. it was worth it tho. My best work ever. Thank u @lux-scriptum 

[fragmentedink-archived]

Hell to Pay: Part Forty-Seven

I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, IX, IX, XX, XXI, XXII, XXIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XVIIII, XXX, XXXI, XXXII, XXXIII, XXXIV, XXXV, XXXVI, XXXVII, XXXVIII, XXXIX, XL, XLI, XLII, XLIII, XLIV, XLV, XLVI

cowritten by @lux-scriptum

After scrubbing his face a few times, Cyrus pushed himself up into a seated position. “You want me to what?” Cyrus asked. “You’re kidding, right?”

Cameron stared at him blankly. “Why would I do something like that? I have better things to do with my time.”

Cyrus let out a small sigh, bracing one arm across his knee. “Who do you want me to bring back?” He finally said. “And why risk it? We still don’t know what that spell did to Lev.”

This time Cameron hesitated, ever so slightly. “A spirit Lev has been seeing.”

Cyrus blinked slowly. “Just a random spirit,” he replied dubiously.

“Will you help or not?”

Cyrus hesitated. “I want to talk to the spirit first,” he said. “Before I agree to anything.”

“Alright.” Cameron said simply. “Whatever you need.”

Cyrus nodded, and started pushing himself upright. “Okay,” he said, sighing softly. “I’ll see what I can do.” After standing, he rubbed his face. “Give me a moment to get something to eat.”

“Can you even walk?” Cameron asked, raising a brow.

“In theory,” Cyrus muttered. He didn’t fall over while he made his way to the kitchen, so he considered that a success. Sorin was at his side in a heartbeat. Rather than wave him off, Cyrus let himself be herded to the table. “Do you want anything?” he asked Cameron, as Sorin poured him a mug of coffee. Decaf, as usual.

“That’s not necessary,” Cameron replied.

“Hm.” Cyrus looked him over, before adding, “I didn’t ask if you needed anything.” He waved Cameron off, however. He wasn’t going to get more than a blank stare and he knew it.

Sorin was quiet, but he wouldn’t let Cyrus get up again until Cyrus had eaten more than his fill of scrambled eggs and toast.

“Come along,” Cyrus eventually said, moving past Cameron, who had been standing there almost awkwardly. Cyrus settled slowly on the floor of his study. Sorin set up the candles for him while Cyrus looked at Cameron. “Do I have any direction when it comes to summoning this ghost or am I flying blind? It’ll take me longer, but-” Cyrus didn’t want to explain just how low he was on magic.

“What kind of direction are you looking for?”

Cyrus rubbed his face. “A name?” He said. “I should have clarified. I have no idea who I’m looking for.”

Cameron looked very tired, but Cyrus was tired too. “Darius,” Cameron finally said. “His name is Darius.”

“Okay,” Cyrus said. He blinked at the ground for a few moments. “I’m going to need help,” he finally said. He reached out, intending to take Sorin’s hand, but when he realized Cameron had taken it instead, he didn’t comment.

After a few minutes, he opened his eyes. There was a slender man standing there. His long black hair was swept to the side, and his bright gold eyes, contrasting starkly with his brown skin, were startlingly similar to Lev’s. Cyrus looked at Cameron for just a moment, before looking to Darius again.

“Hello,” Cyrus said quietly. “I assume you’re Darius?”

The ghost didn’t even look in Cyrus’ direction. Instead he stared at Cameron. “You really should eat more,” the ghost said, sadness dripping from his tone. Eventually he flicked a look at Cyrus. “I’m sorry,” he said. “My name is Darius, yes. You must be Cyrus. It's nice to meet you.”

Cyrus managed a smile. “Nice to meet you, too,” Cyrus replied. “Cameron says you’re a spirit Lev met. Someone he’s asking for.”

“I have met Lev,” Darius confirmed.

Cyrus lifted an eyebrow.

“How can I help?”

Well, Darius was dodging... something. But Cyrus just nodded slowly. “Cameron wants to bring you back,” he said gently. “But I will not if you don’t want to.”

Darius looked back to Cameron. “Do you really?”

Cameron stared right back at Darius. He somehow looked younger and older at the same time; his eyes suspiciously bright. “Lev needs you,” he said, after nearly half a minute.

“That isn’t what I asked you, Cameron.” Darius said. “Do not lie to me.”

Claws poked at the meat of Cyrus’ hand. “I should not have killed you.”

“Again,” Darius said, patiently. “That is not what I asked.”

Cameron’s eyes closed and a tick worked through his jaw. “Yes,” he bit out. “I want you alive. Lev needs you and I should not have killed you. I will make sure you have everything you need and you will not have to see me again. But yes. I want you alive.”

Cyrus tried not to stare. This whole thing was a bit more than he’d expected. In the end he bit back a sigh, and said, “Darius, do you even want to come back? I won’t perform the spell without verbal consent from you, and only you.”

Even though he did not take his eyes off of Cameron Darius did not hesitate to say, “Yes.”

Cyrus nodded. “Okay. I’ll do my best,” he said tiredly. After a moment, he added, “Do you two need some time?”

“No. We’re done,” Cameron said, reticently.

Cyrus blinked at Darius. “I might have questions for you later,” he said quietly, “But for now, I have to end the connection.”

Darius gave him a small smile. “Whatever you need.”

Cyrus broke the connection and let go of Cameron’s hand. He flexed his own, but didn’t really get a good look before Sorin took it and started looking it over. Cyrus put up with that patiently, and instead addressed Cameron.

“We’re going to need a good exchange, or Nature isn’t going to accept this resurrection.” Cyrus leaned into Sorin, who by this point had knelt on the floor beside him. “I’m going to need more time to recharge, as well. I was trying to do so naturally, but- I’ll find a way.”

“Take your time. I don’t need you to perform it wrong. He’s been dead for a lot longer than Lev was.”

Cyrus nodded slowly. “Anything else?”

“What do you need from me?”

A good question. “Not that I can think of right now. I have a lot I need to figure out. The spell I used- It won’t work for Darius the same way.” Because that would require Cameron’s death, apparently, and Cyrus wasn’t going to say that. He was not going to take Cameron away from the omega he just brought back.

After nodding and reminding Cyrus he had Cameron’s number, he was gone.

“I don’t like him,” Sorin muttered.

“Most people don’t,” Cyrus sighed. “Help me to bed?”

---

It hadn’t taken Ash much to find where Amara’s new house was located. It was on the edge of the woods with a yard far larger than Ash would have expected. He took the rustic cabin home in on his way up the steps, only for the front door to swing open. Amara looked Ash up and down. “Hi,” she said, quietly. “We’re still unpacking. So.”

Ash nodded, more to himself than anything else, and folded his arms over his chest. “Do you want me to come some other time? If you’re too busy.”

Amara shook her head. “No. You came all the way out here and I need a break.”

“Alright,” Ash said. “Then let’s talk.”

“Come in,” she said. “And shut the door behind you.”

Ash did as instructed, and followed her voice back towards the living room where he planted himself on a couch. She sat somewhere near him.

“So Lev’s doing better,” he said, since she clearly wasn’t going to say anything. “I thought you’d want to know. His fever broke and he’s stable.”

“Good,” Amara said, relief coating her voice.

Ash picked at his nails. “You still wanting my help?”

“Yes please,” Amara said, quietly.

“You know I’m not going to just say yes,” Ash said. “And it’s nothing to do with you. But I do want to make sure you’re ready and not using a kid as a coping mechanism since your sister is now out of your house. Even if she did turn out pretty alright.”

“What do you want?” She asked, tiredly. “What do you want to know?”

“Well first,” he said, “I want to know if you’re going to do everything I ask without complaint. And second, I am going to need your medical history, Mar. All of it.”

“When it comes to my health, sure.”

“Oh? Is that right?” Ash asked, settling deep into the couch. “You’re going to do everything I ask?”

“Yes.”

Ash dug the list from his pocket and held it out in her direction. “Here.”

She was quiet while reading it over. “You want me to get a job?” she asked, incredulously.

“Something like that,” he said. “Thinking maybe a job as a barista or a sales clerk. I don’t know just yet.”

“I’d point out we’re not tight on money, though I think this is more of a humiliation tactic and not concern over my finances.”

“Well when you put it like that,” Ash said, “You make it sound like I’m not taking my job seriously.”

He could feel her stare at him for a solid minute. “I think you’re a petty bastard,” she finally said. “But you’re the best bastard at this sort of thing.”

Ash gave her a tight smile. “I want you at that job for five months, no fighting, no alcohol or drugs or whatever.” He held up a hand before she could argue with him. “I am aware you are clean at this current moment in time, but consider a minimum wage job dealing with idiotic customers your test.”

“I think dealing with a neurotic Cameron and you for the last four months would be test enough,” she muttered. “But fine.”

Ash snorted. “Get back to me when you want to gut four different Karens for even breathing.”

“I already agreed,” she said, tersely. “You don’t need to rub it in.”

“Mm. I think I do.” Ash said, thrumming his fingers along the back of the couch. “But back to my previous questions that you did not answer. Medical history. I need to know so I can decide what I’m dealing with.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been to a doctor, Ash.” she said, sounding confused. “I just heal. Eventually.”

Ash considered that.; thought on that. “Would you be willing to let me give you a full body physical back at my office in a few days? That way I can see everything for myself?”

“Of course.”

“Good,” Ash said. “I want to help. And I’ll do my best to get you what you want. But I am going to wait for the next few months. I need to recharge and you need to as well. It’ll be safer for everyone.”

“I miscarried last week,” Amara said after a beat. Her voice was quiet, and unusually steady. “It’s not the first time. Honestly? Waiting is probably good for me.”

“Probably,” Ash agreed. “You really should be resting more, as well. Especially these last few days if you just miscarried,” he added pointedly. “I’m sure your boyfriend can afford a few movers while you recuperate.”

“I suppose letting movers get everything settled sure does free up my time for that job you want me to get,” she snipped, before going quiet. “Sorry,” she said, all frustration easing from her tone just as quickly. “Been a few years since I’ve been sober this long. And you’re annoying.”

Ash just lifted a brow. “Imagine being around you stone cold sober,” he said, dryly. “Besides. You’re not touching anything until after I give you that physical. Until then you are going to rest because there is a high probability that you’re going to be on bedrest for a good deal of your pregnancy and if you cannot handle a few days of not doing anything it’s going to be a lot harder for the both of us.”

Amara let out a sigh. “I can rest. I will rest. Doctors orders, right?”

“Yeah,” Ash said, “doctor’s orders.”

---

Lev had managed to get to the point Nik wasn’t swallowing panic like he had been for the last four days. He was eating, sleeping, a lil cooler but he was on the mend. And nik used that to wander around just a bit while Lev was napping.

He was itching to move, and to think and he couldn’t just drag Lev with him. He couldn’t help but feel like the sentries were watching his every move, like they just knew that Nik was keeping a secret for Cameron and was waiting for the opportunity to put him on a spike.

That didn’t stop him from wandering, though.

Nik found himself searching this house top to bottom, not really looking for anything, though he did get himself lost a few times. This house was far larger than Nik thought it was.

He decided to make his final destination the basement for some reason. It was far too enclosed, but he was apparently a glutton for punishment lately. Even with the sweat coating his skin he still descended the steps from the basement to the dungeon.

He pushed open the heavy door and flicked the lights on. He blinked in surprise at the thing writhing in the bolted chair in the middle of the room. “I- well. I cannot say I was expecting this.”

He wandered closer and yanked the demon’s greasy and dirty hair back so he was staring down into violet eyes. “Sage?” he asked, bewildered. “What the hell are you doing down here? Wait. Don’t tell me, you showed up late to work one time too many and Cameron’s been torturing you ever since.”

“Please,” he rasped, hoarsely. “Just kill me.”

“Hmm.” Nik looked down at his grimy fingers and frowned. “No, I don’t think I will. I’m sure whatever you did was worth however long Cam has kept you rotting down here. And I have no interest in getting on his bad side at this current moment in time. I’m afraid all my good graces with my very pale boyfriend are nonexistent.” Or at least they will be.

Sage’s head dropped back against the back of the chair in defeat. “Fine,” he swallowed. “Fine.”

“So what did you do?” Nik asked, circling the chair. “How long, exactly, have you been rotting away in here. See, I’ve been a little out of commission as of late, and apparently Cameron didn’t want to invite me to play time, so. I’m afraid I’m a bit out of the loop.”

Sage merely stared numbly at him, not saying a single damned word about his current predicament as to why he was on Cameron’s shit list.

“Well go on then,” said Cameron’s bored voice. “Tell him.”

Sage whimpered and Nik nearly jumped out of his skin, whirling to face Cameron who was, of course, leaning against the doorframe with his arms folded easily over his chest.

His face matched exactly his tone and of course he also looked completely unsurprised and unfazed that Nik was down here. “Well? What did he do?”

Cameron pushed off the doorframe and crossed the room with ease. Nik only lifted his brows as Cameron placed a hand on the back of the chair when Sage shrunk back into the chair. “He spied,” Cameron said, indifferently. “So I killed his family and let him rot down here to torture in my free time.”

Nik blinked. “On...us? Because I honestly can’t see what he could be spying on unless it was watching you cook every day.”

Cameron cut him an irritable look. “To my brother.”

“...oh,” Nik said, in a faint voice, returning his attention back to Sage. “I- why? We’ve done? Literally nothing to him? I don’t- why?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Cameron said, straightening. “The spineless will always bend one way or another, and he chose to bend for Destris.”

Nik wrinkled his nose. “Pathetic.”

“Indeed,” Cameron said, motioning for Nik to follow. They shut Sage in the darkness before returning upstairs to the kitchen. Nik was going for the counter to sit while Cameron went to the fridge.

Nik put his head on the counter and scrubbed his face. He looked up when he felt a plate being settled in front of him. He blinked blankly at the plate and then at Cameron. He absently touched his stomach. He hadn’t even realized he was hungry, and when he looked questioningly at Cameron, the alpha said, “I could hear your stomach across the house. Eat something.”

Nik wrinkled his nose, but crunched into a red pepper anyways. “Thanks,” he mumbled.

“Hm.”

Cameron fixed himself a drink before sitting across from him, watching him steadily. They sat in silence; Cameron nursing his whiskey and Nik munching on red peppers for nearly an hour before a sentry decided to break their comfortable quiet time. “Sir?”

Cameron flicked his cool gaze to the sentry, watching and waiting. Anxiety and fear was radiating from the sentry.

Nik clicked his tongue. “I see we’re the type to learn from example,” he noted. “And clearly Sage is example enough, yes?”

The sentry only looked even more uncomfortable. Cameron cut in. “What do you want?”

“Your angel is awake. Sir.” He ducked back out of the kitchen as soon as the last word was uttered.

Cameron looked unimpressed, but satisfied, as he rose from the stool and started back for his bedroom. Nik snagged a couple pepper slices and trailed after Cameron, munching quietly.

He immediately crawled up behind Lev when he made grabby hands at them. Snuggling into his side, Nik offered him a pepper. “They’re crunchy,” he said, poking Lev’s nose with hte pepper.

“Anything’s better than broth,” he muttered, taking it and nibbling at it. He held his hand out for Cameron when Cameron didn’t move from his spot at the end of the bed. Cameron must have not moved fast enought for Lev’s liking, because Lev said, “Sit with us?”

Cameron seemed wary, though just slightly, before sitting on the bed next to them. “How are you feeling?” he asked, mildly, pressing the back of his fingers to Lev’s forehead and cheeks. “Not hallucinating still, are you?”

“...I was hallucinating?”

“Mm,” Nik said, crunching on his pepper. “Been talking to someone not as interesting as me. Granted, not possible, but you know.”

“I- who?”

“Well, you see-”

“It doesn’t matter,” Cameron cut in, sharply. “There is no use dwelling.” He looked at his watch and then said, “I’m sure you’re hungry for an actual meal, since you’ve been sleeping all day.”

Neither Lev nor Nik had the option of answering before Cameron was up and out of the room a second later. Nik looked at Lev, bewildered, and crunched on his pepper. “I see we have struck a rather icy nerve, Levant.”

“I didn’t mean to,” Lev said, sounding even more confused.

Nik patted his cheek. “I know.”

----

Amara fidged as she sat on the edge of Ash’s exam table. “Well, Doc? Am I dying?” she joked, just to break the damn silence.

Ash pulled off his gloves to dispose of them. “You look healthy. A lot of scar tissue.”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Amara muttered. “If I were any less vain...”

After leaning against the counter, Ash said, “It looks like a lot of cosmetic scarring, but if you made some changes to your lifestyle, your chances will probably increase. Which means you need to stop getting into fights with everyone.”

“I already cut out drinking,” Amara retorted. “Drugs are more Nik’s scene, and I’m semi-retired anway. What else is there?”

“How about eating a vegetable? Just a singulare vegetable? For once in your life?”

“There were olives on pur pizza last night?” She tried.

Ash looked unamused. “Try again.”

“Look, Ash,” Amara said, trying not to sound defensive. “Best I can cook is a bowl of cereal. I don’t know what you expect of me... that’s actually in my realm of capabilities.”

“Are you saying eating healthy is not in your realm of capabilities?”

“I’m just- I don’t know how,” she muttered. “I know how to feed two people cheaply on twenty bucks a month, but that isn’t exactly... healthy.”

Ash’s face was stern. “I do hope your not planning on feeding an infant on twenty dollars a month.”

“No,” she replied sulkily. “Cin’s in charge of the groceries.”

“Good,” Ash said. “I want you all taken care of.”

“Cin can’t cook anything any more than I can,” she warned.

“And what do you plan on doing about that?” Ash replied.

“Learn how to make grilled cheese?” She looked down. “I don’t know, Ash. If I burn enough things Cin will probably hire a chef or some shit.” A mangled grimace crossed her face. “I haven’t let him spoil me the entire time we’ve been dating. He’ll jump at the opportunity.”

“Well. I mean. I could teach you a few recipes that not even you could fuck up. If you want, of course.”

Amara blinked. “You’d do that?” she asked, startled.

He looked pained this time. “If I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t have offered.”

“Usually someone is only nice when they want something,” she replied.

“I think the last four months is proof enough that I do not always act nice when I want something,” Ash said dryly.

“Yes well, I wasn’t saying you had to act nice to get what you want, just that there’s no other reason to be nice.”

“Do you want my help or not?”

Amara rubbed her face. “I do,” she said tiredly. “Sorry.”

“You should be,” he mumbled, before louder, “When do you want to start?”

“I suppose there’s no time like the present,” Amara muttered back. “Unless you’re busy.”

Ash pushed off from the counter, and said briskly, “Well, no time like the present.”

“Delightful.”

Tagging:  @incandescent-creativity @idreamonpaper @lil-mis-red @ @solangelo3088 @halstudies @littleyellowdinosaur @caelisis

[fragmentedink-archived]

Hell to Pay: Part Forty-Four

I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, IX, IX, XX, XXI, XXII, XXIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XVIIII, XXX, XXXI, XXXII, XXXIII, XXXIV, XXXV, XXXVI, XXXVII, XXXVIII, XXXIX, XL, XLI, XLII, XLIII

cowritten by @lux-scriptum​

A/N: trigger warnings for mentions of suggested abortion

Amara flopped down on her couch. Cin was still with Renee, which- well, it sucked. She missed her mate. And she needed help getting rid of all their shitty furniture so she could let him buy some better furniture for the better apartment she was planning on moving to. As soon as she found one anyway.

She was still laying there, staring at the ceiling, when she heard Nik come in the door. “What happened to your door?” He asked.

“Ash. Shut it behind you.”

“No.”

When she levered herself upright, he was setting the piece of plywood she was using as a door against the wall. “You’ll let in a breeze, dickhead,” she said, flopping back with a groan.

“Good,” Nik said. “Maybe it’ll get rid of the charred wood smell.”

“Not my problem much longer. I’m moving.” Amara threw an arm over her eyes. “Hopefully.”

When Nik didn’t speak, or move closer, Amara groaned loudly. After sitting up, she crossed her legs, peering at how Nik’s arms were folded across his chest.

“Come, sit on the shitty couch I plan on replacing.”

“Why are you leaving?”

Amara squinted. “I’ll tell you if you sit down,” she wheedled.

“When were you going to tell me Destris was dead?”

Guilt pricked at Amara, but she lifted her chin stubbornly. “Sit, and then we talk.”

“No. You lied to me.”

“When?” Amara asked, spine straightening.

“I thought you were done not telling me the truth.”

“Not like I’ve been around much to tell you anything.” When she looked at Nik, he looked close to tears. “Seriously. Sit. I’ll tell you everything.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why tell me now?”

“Because you’re here, dumbass. And no one’s here to interrupt me this time.” She patted the couch insistently.

“Name calling is not going to work in your favor,” he said, pursing his lips.

“Name calling is my way of showing love and you know it.” Amara leaned back. “I was afraid to fail again. I wasn’t going to put you through that. Besides, I was on a tight schedule. I killed him quick. I had to. I needed his soul. And I felt like shit for bailing on you, but- I needed Lev back. You needed him.” She screwed her face up. “And then Cameron kicked me out of the house.”

Nik gave a grim little smile. “Everyone needs Lev,” he said. He sat down on the couch, facing away from her.

“Yeah well, you were kind of out of commission without him. I need my best friend functional. Or as close to it as you usually are.”

“Doesn’t excuse the fact you lied to me. Again.”

“Right. Next time I’ll drop everything I’m doing on a time sensitive mission and tell you what i'm doing.” She crossed her arms. “I wasn’t trying to leave you out of the loop. That’s not a lie. Shit just happened fast, and then Cameron pushed me out of the house, and I haven’t seen much of you since.”

Nik got up with a muttered, “Whatever.”

“Hey, no,” Amara said, jumping to her feet and grabbing his wrist. “Wait. Please. You’re here. Please. Let’s talk, now that you’re here.”

Nik pursed his lips, clearly thinking about it, before he flopped back down. “Speak.”

“Cyrus said the spell we tried didn’t bother to offer anything in exchange.” Amara tipped her head back. “He’s the one who thought of killing Destris. He killed Lev, he should die. So I killed him. Cameron wouldn’t come, which. I expected. He’s got baggage I don’t think anyone wants to unpack. I wish I could have dragged it out, but I was afraid of Destris getting away if I toyed with him. So I gutted him when he opened his front door. Cameron wouldn’t let me stay while they did the magic. So I came over and cried on you, but you know that. And then we spent days waiting for Lev to wake up, and that’s all I could think about at the time.”

She paused, touched his shoulder. “I’ve been ignoring you,” She finally said. “Worse than usual. And that’s not fair.”

“You didn’t kill him fast enough.” Nik’s voice broke. He curled into the couch, looking away.

“Noted for next time.” Amara hesitated. She leaned against him, closing his eyes. “Hey. I won’t apologize. You hate those. But. I’ll try to be a better friend.”

Nik stared into the couch blankly. Silent tears slipped down his cheeks. “I’m pregnant,” he finally said, voice cracking. “He’s the father.”

Oh. Amara had no idea what to say. “You keeping it?” She finally asked.

“I don’t know.”

Amara considered him. “You don’t have to, you know. If you don’t want to.”

“You mean not carry a sadist’s spawn in my weird omega uterus? Yeah, I’m aware.”

“Plenty of angels are weird about abortions. Won’t even say the stupid word. It really is an option.”

“If i want to get an abortion, I will. I just don’t know what I want.”

Amara considered that. “Okay,” she finally said. “Whatever you decide, it’s the right decision.”

Nik gave her a really tired look. “Okay,” he said dryly. “Thank you, Ash.”

“Ouch,” Amara said, smacking his shoulder. “Take that back right now.”

Nik curled into the couch and rested his head on the back cushion. “What, exactly,” he said, “is Cameron going to say when he finds out I slept with his brother of all people? Cameron puts up with a lot of my shit, but he’s not going to put up with this. Not Destris.”

Amara considered him. “Cameron isn’t going to do anything,” she said. “It’s Destris.”

“Destris did not come onto me,” he said. “I came onto him. I went to him for the drugs and I was more than willing to let him fuck me- and knot me. Even if it’s Destris, I am not Destris, and… this kid sure as hell isn’t either.”

“You went to Destris?” Amara frowned. “You knew it was Destris, and you went to him anyway?”

“No I did not know it was Destris,” Nik said, irritably. “But that doesn’t mean shit.”

“Kinda think it means everything,” Amara said. “If you don’t know who you’re fucking, how the hell do you consent.”

Nik’s eyes narrowed in thought. “Easily. With my mouth. And ass apparently.”

Amara rolled her eyes. “No.” She said. She poked his cheek. “Not how consent works, dumbass.” She leaned against him, and sighed. “But I’m not going to change your mind. I know that. Just... know Cameron will understand.”

“Sure he will,” Nik said. “Because Cameron is capable of forgiveness or empathy or literally anything else on any form of emotional spectrum. Not to mention we already have one kid in the house that he wanted to kill the moment he laid eyes on. And that kid isn’t even a hybrid.”

Amara nodded. “Cameron is just a freak of nature who doesn’t feel shit normally. But I know it’ll work out. I just know.” She tapped her temple.

“Since when were you an optimist?” Nik demanded, voice cracking. “Ugh, stars. I am so sick of crying.” Nik wiped hastily at his tears, his glower faltering. “I’m a horrible person.” he closed his eyes. “Lev literally just got brought back from the dead and I’m pissed off everyone cares more about him than me.”

Amara shrugged. “You’re allowed to be selfish. And everyone will stop fawning over him soon enough. Or, as much. Everyone fusses over Lev. You do, I bet. If you need more attention, more love, more- whatever, ask for it. You know no one will mind. You deserve it too.”

“Do I?” Nik asked, silent tears slipping down his face. He palmed his eyes, sniffling. “I’ve been selfish my entire life,” he said “Now I’m just being an asshole. Not like I was just brutally murdered and then necromancied back into life.”

“You are,” Amara said. “Now go be selfish, or I’ll tattle to Lev and Cameron that you're not getting enough attention that you need.”

“I decided to go out and get high and completely blow off everyone, making Cameron turn into a skeleton, Lev try to make me stay dead and everyone try to handle me. I’ve been nothing but selfish and smothered and now I want erven more attention and it’s even worse because Lev doesn’t remember anything and now I’m pregnant and if i say a word to anyone about it, especially Lev, then he’s going to try to bend over backwards to parent me and Cameron’s going to hate me, even more than he already does, and Nate’s going to get even weirder about me being in Cameron’s house and-” Nik’s mouth snapped shut and he took a deep breath. “Point is, being selfish is what got me into this mess in the first place.”

Amara sighed. “I don’t know how to logic you out, Nik. You'll have to find someone else to do that, but I’ll always be here for you. Cheesy as that sounds. If you can't be selfish around anyone else, then, be selfish around me.”

Nik blinked rapidly, scrubbing his face before moving over to lean against her. His entire body trembled with barely suppressed tears while she put her arm around him. He sniffled. “You’re annoying,” he finally said, petulantly.

“It's my job,” Amara replied. “You wanna stick around a bit longer?”

“Yeah,” Nik sighed against her.

---

With Nik gone for the day, Lev was stuck in bed, though at least Cameron was there. In the chair. Out of arms reach. Lev lasted an hour, ignoring the vague ache pulsing through him, before he cracked.

“Cam?” Lev asked.

“Hm?”

“It hurts,” Lev admitted. “I- can you hold me?” He was quick to add, “I can sit in your lap if you still want to read, but- not being touched… hurts.”

“Sure,” Cameron said eventually. He settled more comfortably, and then shifted so Lev’d have room.

Lev wobbled the few steps it was to Cameron’s lap, and curled in immediately. Cameron pulled a blanket around Lev, and started to play with Lev’s hair absently as he read. Slowly the ache faded, and Lev sighed softly into Cameron’s neck.

“Thank you,” he said softly.

“Mmmhmm,” Cameron replied.

“I guess we should let Ash know… I didn’t realize… I didn’t know it hurt like that. Nik hasn’t let me go since he arrived.”

After a few seconds, Cameron said, “Nik will be back soon.”

Lev nodded. He knew that. And he didn’t begrudge Nik his time away. “I like time with you too,” Lev said. “I like it when you hold me. I feel safe.”

“All you have to do is ask.”

“I know. That’s the hard part.” Lev pressed a shy kiss to Cameron’s cheek. “I’ll work on it.”

“That’s probably for the best.”

Lev snorted softly, and snuggled back into Cameron. “You haven’t changed much.”

“I’ve been at work. I’ve been too busy.”

“That sounds about right.” Lev absently traced Cameron’s collarbone. It stuck out more than he remembered, and he didn’t like it. Not one bit.

Cameron went back to reading, but Lev didn’t mind. His alpha’s hand was still playing with his hair, and Lev was content to let him.

Lev had dozed off by the time Nik came home. Lev only stirred when he ehared Cameron tell Nik… something about dinner. That was enough Lev’s head shot up, peering blearily around.

“Nik?” Lev asked, finally focusing on his boyfriend.

Nik gave him a tired smile. “Hi.”

Lev scrambled clumsily out of Cam’s lap, and wrapped himself around Nik tightly. “How was it?” He mumbled.

Nik wrapped his arms around Lev’s waist. “Amara was being Amara, as usual.”

“A little annoying, and not really helpful, but you feel a little better anyway?”

“Yeah. Exactly that,” Nik said.

“She’s good at that.” Lev pulled away, long enough to flop on the bed wearily. “Nap with me?”

“Yeah,” Nik promised, joining him. “That sounds nice.”

---

Lev had sent the sentries back for proper pillows twice, though he wouldn’t give back the others. He tucked them around Nik, though he tossed a few chosen to the floor. Nik didn’t offer to help, and just watched Lev sleepily. Lev took several breaks, and napped frequently.

He occasionally took small laps around the room. As long as he didn’t stray too long, Nik just waited for him in bed. Lev poked around in the adjoining bathroom, puttered around in the walk in closet. He dragged several pillows in there with him, and one of the extra blankets, too. He left them there, out of the way, and crawled back in bed with Nik once again.

Nik tugged Lev close. “If you keep getting out of bed, you’re going to get in trouble,” Nik mumbled.

“You’re with me,” Lev said. “I’m supervised. And I don’t stay long.”

“I see you’re going to drag me under the bus with you.”

Lev burrowed close. “I didn’t mean to. I- I can stay in bed.” He touched Nik’s cheek lightly, and then, “I’ll try anyway. I’m supposed to try to walk a bit.”

Nik whined at him, and curled into Lev.

Lev stroked his hair. “I’ll stay,” he promised, more firmly this time. He pressed a hesitant kiss to Nik’s forehead. To Lev’s delight, Nik began to purr softly.

Lev settled deeper in the bed, and closed his eyes. Before he knew it, he was dead asleep, one hand fisted in Nik’s shirt.

Tagging: @incandescent-creativity @idreamonpaper @solangelo3088 @halstudies @alittleyellowdinosaur @caelisis

[fragmentedink-archived]

Hell to Pay: Chapter Thirty-Five

I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, IX, IX, XX, XXI, XXII, XXIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XVIIII, XXX, XXXI, XXXII, XXXIII, XXXIV

cowritten by @lux-scriptum

A/N: trigger warning for possible implied eating disorders??

Nik was asleep, and Cameron was doing paperwork, and Lev was almost guilty about how bored he was. Being a ghost wasn’t exactly the most exciting thing. After running his fingers through Niks hair, wishing he could heal the deep cut on Nik’s cheek, he slid off the bed. He still didn’t know how it happened, but it distressed him. That belonged in a box in the back of his mind, though, before he stressed himself to the point of flickering out.

Lev wandered out of the bedroom, scooting around sentries. Checking on Cameron didn’t reveal Darius, but Lev wandered over anyway, peering over Cameron’s shoulder at what he was working. After a moment, Cameron looked at the black and silver watch on his wrist. “Are you done babysitting Nik?”

“It’s time to babysit you,” Lev said, even though Cameron wouldn’t be able to hear him. He reached over and brushed Cameron’s hair from his face. “You need to eat.” It was getting easier to move things, but it helped that hair wasn’t exactly heavy.

Cameron went back to his paperwork. Lev let him for a few minutes, and then tugged on his hair with more force. “What do you want from me?” Cameron asked tiredly.

“For you to eat,” Lev replied, dropping his forehead on Cameron’s shoulder. He didn’t know how to get through to Cameron when Cameron couldn’t hear him. Not that Cameron was waiting for a reply; paperwork had his attention, and even on a good day it was hard to distract him from it.

It took Lev several minutes for Lev to figure it out. He pressed a hand to Cameron’s stomach, tapping insistently.

Cameron went still, just for a moment, before, “I’m busy.”

Lev huffed, and pushed at the paperwork. All he did was bump Cameron’s pen, but he figured that was better than nothing. Cameron looked up, staring into space with a look that told lev he was grasping for non-existent patience. After hesitating, Lev tapped insistently on Cameron’s stomach again, and then reached up, cupping Cameron’s cheek.

Cameron stared down at the desk for a solid minute, jaw clenched, before he stood. Lev followed at a distance, guilt pricking at him. He knew Cameron liked his schedule, needed it even, but he needed food too. Once he was satisfied Cameron was getting something, Lev perched on the counter to watch, swinging his feet back and forth out of habit.

When Cameron settled at the table with an apple and a cup of tea, Lev padded over. He pressed a kiss to Cameron’s cheek, stroking his hair once more. To Lev’s surprise, Cameron leaned into the touch, ever so slightly. For a moment, Lev stayed, keeping his hand pressed against Cameron’s hair. He waited until Cameron was almost done with his apple to give Cameron one last pat, and then blinked away in search of Darius again.

---

He found darius with Eden, which didn’t surprise him one bit. Lev settled next to them on the floor, leaning against Darius as he listened to him talk to Eden. A smile tugged at Lev’s lips listening to Eden screech.

“I got Cameron to eat an apple,” Lev said.

“Mmm. Better than nothing. More progress than yesterday.”

Lev nodded. “He wasn’t happy,” he added, even though that was probably obvious. “Nik’s still sleeping.”

Darius sighed softly. “Cameron’s never happy. But it’s probably a good thing Nik’s still sleeping. He can't get in trouble that way.”

“Yeah. Someone hurt him last time he went off on his own. He’s got a big gash on his face. So maybe sleep is for the best.” Lev hesitated, and then admitted, “It did get boring, though.”

“I imagine so,” Darius said after humming to himself.

“Is it offensive to ask how you did it for five hundred years?”

“Would you believe I played a very long game of scrabble to keep my mind busy?” Darius asked.

“You did?” Lev asked, startled. The look on Darius’ face was close to pitying, and was enough for Lev to give a very embarrassed, “Oh.”

Darius patted Lev’s shoulder. “It’s okay.”

Lev sighed, and just tucked his cheek against Darius’ shoulder. “You’d think after almost a century and a half I’d learn when people are joking.”

This time Darius patted his face. “I think it's more that sometimes it's hard. Some people are too serious.”

“Like Cameron?” Lev wrinkled his nose. “I love Cameron, but I don’t think I want to be like him. Or not too much, anyway.”

“I don’t think anybody can be quite like Cameron,” Darius mused.

“He’s very unique,” Lev agreed solemnly.

When Lev looked up at Darius, he was smiling. “Unique is a good word to describe Cameron.”

Before Lev could figure out what else to say, Nate stepped into the room. Lev lifted his head from Darius’ shoulder and asked, “Is it nap time?”

Nate looked between the both of them. “Sorry to... intrude, but yes, it’s nap time.”

Lev made a disappointed sound, leaning over to kiss Eden’s forehead. “You weren’t intruding,” Lev promised. “But we can go, so we don’t keep her up.”

Nate’s expression was apologetic. “You’ll know where she is,” he said.

Lev offered a hand to Darius to help him up, and when they passed Nate Lev leaned into him briefly in thanks. “I’m probably going to hang out here for a while?” Lev said to Nate. “Nik’s asleep, and Cameron’s stressing me out.”

Nate snorted. “Cameron stresses everyone out.”

Lev nodded a little. “I can see it,” he said, solemnly. He took Darius’ hand, and scooted out the door.

When they reached the front hall, Lev looked over at Darius. The sad look on Darius’ face made Lev pause. “Are you okay?” Lev asked, squeezing Darius’ hand lightly.

The sigh Darius gave sent a pang of sadness through Lev as well. “He didn’t know Cameron like I did.”

This time Lev leaned close, pressing his nose to Darius’ shoulder. “I don’t think many people know him like you do.”

“I think he went through painstaking lengths to make sure they didn’t.”

Lev nodded, but he didn’t have much else to add to that. Instead he leaned into Darius, sighing softly. He wasn’t sure how long they would have stayed there, taking comfort from each other’s presence if Ash hadn’t stormed in, slamming the front door open so hard Lev jumped.

“Where the fuck is Lev?” Ash demanded loudly.

Automatically, Lev shrank back, even if the irate angel couldn’t even see him. It didn’t take long for Bay to appear, wailing infant in his arms. Nate was on his heels, and before Nate could say anything Lucas was settled in Nate’s arms. Bay stalked across the room, grabbing Ash by the hair on the way out, and all but dragged him out of the house.

“What did I do?” Lev asked Darius, his voice small. “I haven’t done anything. I’m dead.”

The concerned look on Darius’ face didn’t help at all. “Do you want to go find out?”

“No,” Lev mumbled, pressing his face against Darius’ shoulder. “He seems angry.”

“I think that’s just Ash,” Darius said thoughtfully. “But he does seem angrier than usual.”

“I don’t want him angry at me,” Lev said, his voice rising an octave.

More footsteps made him look up. Silas had arrived, looking more than a little confused. Nate only hesitated a second before placing Lucas in Silas’ arms.

“I’ve got this,” Nate said in their direction, and strode out the door after his mate.

“We should probably go see what’s wrong,” Darius prompted, when Lev didn’t move.

That was the last thing Lev wanted to do, but he forced himself to head for the front porch. The moment Nate looked in their direction, Ash opened his mouth and said heatedly, “You’re going to stay dead.”

Lev shied back. “I don’t- I don’t understand,” he said, shooting Nate a desperate look.

Bay shoved Ash. “Calm down. Lev is dead.”

“Not for long, if Amara gets her way,” Ash shot back.

Lev froze, and then looked back to Darius. “Is that even possible?”

Darius’ troubled look didn’t soothe Lev at all. “I don’t know. I didn't think so.”

“What do you mean, if Amara gets her way?” Nate asked quietly.

“Apparently she conned some witch into doing her dirty work. Necromancy is against the laws of nature,” Ash said. He still sounded pissed.

Lev bit his lip, not wanting to leave the safety of Darius’ side. He crept forward anyway, touching Nate’s hand lightly. “I didn’t ask her to,” he promised faintly.

Nate patted his hand. “I know you didn’t.”

Ash whipped his head around to glare in Lev’s direction. “You can't.” He switched his gaze to Nate. “I want to talk to him.”

Nate looked to Lev until Lev realized he was asking for permission. Lev nodded hesitantly. It was obvious Lev had become visible to the other two the moment Nate took his hand. Ash zeroed in on him with an intensity that had Lev flinching back into Nate instinctively.

“You need to move on,” Ash said. Lev could almost feel his desperation. “Please move on.”

“I can’t,” Lev said. “I don’t- I don’t know how.”

“Then figure it out. She’s going to break the laws of nature for you, and this is one that should not be broken.”

That was panic; Lev could recognize a panic attack from a mile away, and Ash was close to having one. It only fueled Lev’s own distress. “I don’t- I didn’t ask her to. But I don’t know how to. Nik- he’s bad, and I don’t know how to move on while he’s like this. Him and Cameron both.”

“They’re grieving. This is what people in grief do.”

“What if they grieve themselves to death?” Lev asked. He was trying to keep his emotions in check, but black was edging on his vision.

“You are no help.” Ash looked defeated, and that seemed to be the end of it, because he was walking away.

“I don’t know what to do,” Lev said desperately, flicking a look between the three who were left. “I don’t- I didn’t ask for any of this.” He could feel himself working up, and he didn’t know how to stop it.

He could feel Darius at his side, his hand on Lev’s cheek. “Breathe,” Darius ordered firmly, until Lev sucked in one useless breath after another. He tucked his face in Darius’ hand, clinging to the fact that Darius and Nate both were holding onto him.

When he wasn’t on the verge of blinking out, Bay cleared his throat. Lev looked up at him, met his stony stare as best he could. “What do you want?”

Lev touched Darius’ hand, which still cupped his face comfortingly. “I don’t- what does it matter? Amara wants me here, Ash wants me dead, and they’ll just duke it out on their own.”

“No. I didn’t ask Ash, and I didn’t ask Amara. I asked you. What do you want? Cameron and Nik are also not a part of this question.”

Lev hesitated. “I want it,” he finally said softly. “Why wouldn’t I? I was- I was happy. I’m never happy, and I was happy. I want that back. But it isn’t- it isn’t fair. And Ash- nature- do I deserve that?”

“Are you asking if you deserve to be happy?” Bay asked flatly.

“I- yes.” Lev looked down. “Do I deserve it at that cost?”

Bay sounded pained as he said, “Haven’t we been over this before?”

Lev lifted one shoulder. “I wasn’t dead.”

“Your point?” Bay asked sharply.

“I don’t know,” Lev said miserably. “All I know is I feel useless right now. More than useless.” He paused, and then mumbled, “Not that that’s too far from usual, but...”

“Then either move on, or come back. You’re not doing anyone any help just floating around here.” Bay definitely sounded annoyed now.

Lev looked to Darius now. “You... you’d be alone again,” he said, a question, almost.

“I’ve been alone for five hundred years. I think I’ll manage.”

Lev made a discontented sound, but just looked to Bay. “Are you giving me permission to let Amara bring me back?”

“I’m giving you permission to do what you want,” Bay replied evenly.

Lev nodded slowly. “I- okay,” he finally said. He hesitated, and then, “...Ash?”

Bay’s sigh was tired. “I will deal with Ash.”

“Okay,” Lev repeated, and then said, “Can I go now?”

Bay looked to Nate instead of answering. All Nate said was, “I’m not going to stop you.”

Lev slipped his hand free of Nate’s, and immediately buried his face in Darius’ neck. Darius’ arms went around him. “It’s okay. You can go,” Darius whispered softly.

“I don’t know if I will,” Lev said back. He slowly put his arms around Darius. “I- I need to think about it.”

“That’s okay. You have the time.”

Lev nodded against Darius, and then closed his eyes. “I don’t want to be here.”

“Then don’t be here.”

Lev shook his head. “I don’t want to leave you alone, either.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Lev just shook his head again. “I’ll stay,” he promised. “I want to.”

---

At this point Cyrus wasn’t even surprised when someone else marched into his house without warning. Sorin had been asleep on the couch, curled in his massive demonic form, but his ears pricked as the door slammed open. They flattened as he recognized the ginger angel who had answered Bay’s door a couple weeks ago, but when Cyrus waved him off, he stayed on the couch, claws digging into the fabric.

“I should have known you’d be doing Amara’s dirty work when you came for Bay,” Ash said.

“She didn’t give me much choice,” Cyrus said mildly.

That didn’t seem to impress Ash at all. “You’re a witch. You have plenty of choices and you chose the coward's way out.”

Sorin sat up, sliding off the couch and winding around Cyrus’ legs. Cyrus knew without looking that Sorin was glaring at Ash, but he chose to ignore his demon in favor of keeping Ash’s gaze evenly. “I made a promise. A poorly thought out promise, but a promise nonetheless.” He stoked Sorin’s head, and then added, “If it’s any comfort, there’s no guarantee I can figure it out. I have conditions. I don’t doubt I can't make a spell for necromancy, but I will not let him be raised if he’s going to spend the rest of his new life wishing he was dead.”’

“Then. Lie. Tell her you cant perform the fucking spell. Do not do this when you are a witch. you serve nature, nature does not serve you.”

“I don’t lie,” Cyrus said simply. “I do not lie, I do not go back on my word, and I do not do anything other than my best. And I do not serve nature any more than nature serves me. It’s a give and take. I won't take anything I do not intend to give back in equal value.”

“You don't lie but you'll bring back the dead?" His face hardened. Cyrus supposed he could have tried to lie, but Ash would have known, and he really had meant it when he said he didn't lie. Ash looked down at Sorin. I bet you'd want your cousin back wouldn't you. So of course you are going to be absolutely no help in getting your idiot boyfriend to see common sense.”

“There’s no need to antagonize him.” Cyrus could feel Sorin’s magic flare already; he pulled some of it into himself, just to get the temperature settled. “It was my decision, and mine alone. He doesn’t like it any more than you do.”

“Because his cousin moved on already?” Ash asked heatedly.

Cyrus frowned. “No.”

When Ash swung his gaze down to Sorin, Sorin leaned back against Cyrus’ thighs, a soft hiss coming from him. “Are you going to stay a damn cat,” Ash demanded. “Or are you going to contribute anything to this conversation?”

Sorin lashed his tail, but he shifted up. “I don’t have anything to say.” He narrowed his eyes. “Cyrus makes his own decisions.”

“Your boyfriend is going to perform necromancy, but hey, at least you're letting him be his own man, right?”

“Something like that,” Sorin snapped.

“You must be so proud of yourself. Congratulations.”

“Excactic,” Sorin said flatly, the temperature in the room spiking with his temper. This time Cyrus didn’t try to reign him in, even as he started to sweat from the two pyromancers glaring at each other.

“You're a coward. You're both cowards and you should be fucking ashamed of yourselves,” Ash shot back, before stalking out the door, slamming it behind him.

Cyrus blinked slowly at the door, and then looked to Sorin. “He’s right,” Cyrus said quietly. He pulled away from Sorin, walked into his study, and locked the door behind him.

---

Lev looked around. One of the perks of being a ghost was that the ash didn’t stick to him. He stared at the shell that used to be his house. “Amara got fed up,” he mumbled, half to himself. He looked over his shoulder at Darius. “This was the first house I owned,” he said quietly.

Darius looked around. “It was lovely.”

“It was small,” Lev said. He padded up the porch steps. “But it was mine.” He stepped through the doorway. “I remodeled the kitchen last year.”

“I’m sorry that was taken away from you,” Darius said quietly.

“It’s okay,” Lev promised. “It wasn’t a home. Not in the way that I wanted. It was small, and... empty. I didn’t mind the smallness, but it was just a place to live. Less a home and more of a safe house.”

Darius thought about that for a long moment. “It didn’t seem that safe,” he finally said.

Lev puffed out a surprised laugh. “It wasn’t in the end. But it served its purpose when I first bought it. Rem- Remiel didn’t know where I lived for a long time. I was careful. Until I wasn’t.” He watched Darius for a long moment, and then, “Did you... did you have a home? Not... not like this,” he tapped the mostly gone doorway. “But... a home.”

“I grew up on the streets of Assyra,” Darius told him. “The only home I needed was Cameron.”

Lev wasn’t sure what to say to that for a good long moment. “Cameron’s a good home,” he said. He reached out, touching Darius’ hand. “Was that all you wanted? Cameron, for a home?” He meant it sincerely, and he hoped Darius understood that.

Darius shrugged. “I wanted a family of my own, but I made sure I couldn’t have one.” He paused. “And now I’m dead, so it doesn’t really matter.”

“I wanted that too,” Lev said softly.

Darius gave him a knowing look. “I’m sorry,” he said.

Lev shrugged. “No alpha would want someone like me,” he offered. “I wanted a mate, and Cameron doesn’t do that. But I... I was happy to take what I could. It was still a family, sort of. Nik loved me, and we had Eden. Dreams are nice, but... the best I could ever do was get as close as I could.”

“For what it’s worth, Cameron does want you. He’s just not that good at admitting what he wants. He never has been.” He looked over the remains of the house, arms folded on his chest. “That would take him admitting he’s a person.”

Lev looked down. “Well... now I’m dead. So it doesn’t really matter.”

Darius shot him a look. “The people you love are trying to bring you back from the dead. I’d say it does matter.”

“I don’t know if I will,” Lev replied softly. “And we don’t know if they can. The word trying is really important.”

“Yes it is. And I think that means something about the people that love you. You’re not giving them the justice they deserve by continuing to say you don’t matter.”

Lev flinched. “I don’t mean to,” he finally said.

Darius touched his shoulder. “I know. But it doesn’t make it less true.”

“I’m sorry,” was all Lev could think to say.

Lev looked up when Darius touched his cheek, just in time for Darius to kiss his forehead. “I know,” Darius said.

Lev leaned into him, sighing softly. “I don’t want to leave you,” he said. “But I don’t want to leave Nik. And I don’t want to... I don’t want to upset nature, but I don’t want- I don’t want to be here. I hate it. I hate watching them. I don’t know what to do.” His face screwed up as he tucked it into Darius’ shoulder. “And I can’t even cry about it.”

“Bay is right,” Darius said softly. “You only have two choices.”

“And too many reasons to decide either way,” Lev pointed out. “Everyone has an opinion on what I should do.” He looked up abruptly. “What would you do?”

“I’d go back without hesitation,” Darius said.

Lev was surprised at how quickly he answered. The conviction, no uncertainty to be found, was something Lev found he envied. “Okay,” he finally said.

---

Bay found himself at Ash’s house, trying to talk Ash from burning everything to ashes around them. He’d probably start with Amara and then the witch and save him for last since he hadn’t even bothered to try and side with him.

He knew what it was like having loved ones ripped away from him, time and time again and he wasn’t going to stop Amara, especially if Lev did want to come back. There was literally no point in Lev being stuck in limbo with a bleeding heart unable to do shit besides watching on miserably.

And that was its own kind of hell.

There were bruises peeking on Ash’s skin where clothes couldn’t cover. He was breathing hard, fingers tight against the sheets as he clearly was trying to not set himself off with a pregnant Celeste sitting next to him with her fingers running in his hair. “You just need to breathe,” Celeste was saying to her mate. “Their decisions are not your fault.”

His fingers tightened. “Tell that to my magic,” he said, through gritted teeth. The underlying tone of pain did shoot a spark of concern through him, especially when she gave Bay a look. “Those selfish bastards are going to kill me because they thought it’d be fine to break the laws of nature- which- owns my ass. But sure, I just need to breathe.”

“They won’t kill you,” Bay said, sternly. “I won’t let it.” He was sure the witch wouldn’t either.

“My father is dead because he thought he could bend nature,” Ash snapped, glaring at him as he sat up rigidly in the bed. He could feel the heat pulse off him. “And now I pay the price. Those idiots perform necromancy and who’s to say nature won’t take it out of Lev? Huh? What’s that twinky little angel going to do with just angelic healing to protect him against a primordial thing like that? He’s afraid of everything.”

Bay folded his arms and frowned at him. “It’s. Lev’s. Choice. Which means he can deal with the repercussions that come of that. He’s an adult. He knows what he’s getting himself into. Everyone needs to stop babying him. He’ll keep being afraid of everything if everyone is constantly trying to protect him. And where did that get him? Dead.”

“Exactly!” Ash yelled. “He’s dead! He needs to stay dead. You do not undo death like that. You just do not. I don’t give a flying fuck how much you want someone back,” his voice cracked. “You can bleed, you can grieve and scream and cry all you want. But. You. Move. On.”

The deafening silence filling the room didn’t sway Bay’s decision, if only because Bay didn’t have one to begin with. And he didn’t know how to help any of the parties involved in this dark magic.

tagging: @incandescent-creativity @idreamonpaper @halstudies @solangelo3088 @mis-lil-red @alittleyellowdinosaur

[fragmentedink-archived]

Hell to Pay: Chapter Thirty-Three

I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, IX, IX, XX, XXI, XXII, XXIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XVIIII, XXX, XXXI, XXXII

cowritten by @lux-scriptum

A/N: This chapter is very heavy. Trigger warning for implied incest, implied rape, forced prostitution, character death. There is no graphic images of rape or incest. All is implied. This chapter is very past!Cameron-centric, bls be careful when reading

Cameron was seventeen years old the first time he laid eyes on the golden eyed omega that was supposed to train him. He had been introduced to him by the name Darius and even if he had been here for several years, and Cameron was the bastard son of Asmadai, he offered Cameron the warmest smile.

Cameron gave him a tight grin. “I’m guessing you’re the one that’s going to be teaching me the ropes?”

Darius nodded. “That’s me. I’m Darius.”

“Oh, I’ve heard. However, I do not think I need to be ‘trained’.”

Darius’ face didn’t shift from his smile. If anything else, it just seemed a little amused, if a little sad. Cameron said, “Don’t give me that look. I don’t need the pity. I’ve known my job since I was young. I was always going to end up here. It’s fine. Either way, look at me. Who wouldn’t want to fuck me.”

“I do suppose that is one way of looking at it,” Darius remarked, looking Cameron over. “You are very attractive.”

“I know.”

Darius snorted and began leading Cameron through a set of double doors to a large room bathed in white and gold. Cameron looked appreciatively around, running his fingers along the silken furniture while he roamed around the room. “Not bad,” he said. “I didn’t think whores got paid this well.”

“This one does,” Darius replied. “I’m a favorite for a reason.”

Cameron looked at him. “I’m guessing that reason is because you’re hot?”

“Among other things, I imagine.”

Cameron wasn’t blind. Darius’ bright golden eyes and long waves were sure to be a favorite to many people. He just held little stock in appearances, himself. Darius was beautiful to him the way music sounded to his ears. Cameron went to settle on the couch, watching Darius move towards a small kitchen area where he started fixing himself something to drink. “Would you like some tea?”

“Do you have anything stronger?”

“Not with me, no. I’d rather not be inebriated in case my services are requested.”

Cameron thought on that. It did make sense, he supposed, but he also figured Darius would be getting fucked one way or another. “Wouldn’t you rather not remember it?”

Darius gave him a steady look. “No. I want to remember everything.”

-----

Cameron had kept himself busy for the last three months and it was still unnerving to be in the same room as Darius without any kind of ulterior motive on Darius’ part. Darius left him to his own devices at night and didn’t bother him. It was easier to get a night of sleep for the next day when he didn’t have Destris coming into his room to bother him every night.

But that didn’t stop Destris from bothering him any other time of the day. It just made it more difficult. Especially when Cameron seemed to be becoming a favorite amongst court ladies. Cameron offered lazy smiles to everyone he passed in the hallways. Lingering looks told him enough about who was going to end up filling his mother’s pockets by the end of the night.

Cameron’s muscles, as worn as they were on a daily basis, were defined, unlike the slender build Darius seemed to have. He had seen Darius in passing a few times that day, but they both had been too busy to speak much.

Cameron was leaving a lady’s chambers, buttoning up his shirt when he nearly ran into his brother. “Can I help you?” Cameron asked, annoyed.

Destris gave him a lazy smile. “Maybe later. What I want to know is why you are sleeping in that whore’s rooms when you have perfectly fine rooms of your own. My mother gave you the finest, and yet you settled for subpar trash?”

“Well,” Cameron said, “I’m sure our mother would much rather have a room where she doesn’t have to house her bastard. It’s best for the economy, don’t you think? Maybe she can turn it into a war room.”

That smile sharpened. “I think you’re trying to avoid me.”

“Why would I ever try to do that?” Cameron said. “You get my services for free.”

Destris’ hazel green eyes flicked around them before coming back to settle on Cameron’s face. “I do,” he said. “And I do not like having to come find you when you should be in your own bed.”

“I do apologize,” Cameron said. “I just think it would be best to be near my trainer. Since he is more experienced than I. What if I have questions? Whomever would I go to when I need to learn how to properly suck a cock?”

Cameron didn’t blink when Destris shoved him back against the wall, fingers curling tightly around Cameron’s throat. “I don’t know who you think you are.” he hissed. “You belong to me, no matter who you’re on your knees for. Understand? I am the only thing between life and your death. I own you.”

Cameron couldn’t form words even if he wanted to. The air in his lungs protested at the lack of oxygen to his brain. His eyes trained to the floor, even if he wasn’t an omega. He tried nodding against his brother’s claws. When Destris finally pulled back, it took all of Cameron’s strength to not start coughing. Destris looked pleased at what were surely new bruises around his neck. “You will be making up for your back talking when I see you again, tonight. Better get going. I’m sure there are plenty waiting for you to warm their bed.”

-----

Darius wasn’t quite sure how Cameron had managed to con his way into Darius’ chambers when he had his own in another part of the castle. But Cameron was now camped out on his couch with one of the silken throw blankets almost every night.

He hadn’t bothered to try and keep Cameron out of his rooms. Part of him wondered if Cameron would just find his own way into the room, or just force his way in and Darius didn’t want to bother replacing door knobs or locks every time Cameron would get in here. And oddly enough, Darius didn’t mind when Cameron slept on his couch.

Darius had finished his shower and was getting dressed when Cameron came through the doors as if he owned the place, but Darius didn’t say anything while Cameron unbuttoned his black shirt and slacks to settle on the couch; not when there were prominent bruises in choice places on Cameron’s pale body.

Darius quietly sat a cup of tea and a plate of food on the coffee table in front of Cameron but didn’t try to offer any words, not when there was the aura of lethality around him. Instead he settled in a chair across from him while Cameron turned into the couch. The finger-like bruises wrapping around his throat were hidden when Cameron pulled the blanket over his head.

Darius almost offered to see if he wanted a healer, but instinct enough told him that Cameron wouldn’t want one. Even with no power of his own, Cameron seemed to relish any kind of control he could get his hands on, even if control over his own body was scant at best.

“If you would like,” Darius said, hesitantly, “I can have your clothes brought here? That way you don’t have to go across the manor to get them every day.”

Cameron remained quiet, and didn’t move an inch. Just when Darius thought that Cameron was going to ignore him, Cameron hoarsely said, “Do what you want. I don’t care.”

Darius took a long drink from his tea, thinking about how sharp those words sounded. “It would be practical.” Darius said, “I have some tea here for you- it might help your throat.”

Cameron stiffened slightly but snapped the blanket off himself and sat up to stare at Darius. The black bruising against his skin clashing darkly against the gold and silver blanket hanging off his shoulder. “Oh will it? I’m sure you’ve had enough things rammed down your throat to know.”

Darius didn’t blink. “Yes I have. You have too, yes?” Cameron rolled his eyes and picked up the cup from the table and scented it. “There’s no poison, if that’s what you’re looking for.”

Cameron flicked him an annoyed look. “What a shame,” he said, dryly. “What about honey? I guess I can settle for that.”

Darius smiled. “I have honey you can use.”

“Good,” Cameron said, curtly, getting up smoothly from the couch to move to the kitchen area where he poured a healthy dose of honey into the earl grey tea. “It’s like you have no taste buds,” Cameron complained.

“Well,” Darius said. “I cannot cook. So, I do tend to hold little stock of what kinds of things I cook outside of what I need.”

He bit back his snort when Cameron looked at him with disgust. “Are you saying I need to feed you?”

“That is not what I’m saying,” Darius said.

Cameron arched a brow while taking a drink from his cup. “I think you are,” he said. “Why else would you tell me you can’t cook? I’ll do it.”

“You really don’t have to-” Darius started.

“Too late, it’s done,” Cameron said, turning back to the kitchenette. “I’ll make a list of things you need, but I can do that later. It’s too late to do shit right now.”

“Indeed,” Darius said, getting up to put his tea cup and the untouched plate of food away. “We both should probably get some sleep.”

Cameron nodded, taking another drink from his tea cup before hesitating slightly and looking at him. “Can… you can say no- nevermind. It’s fine.”

“What?” Darius asked, looking at him. “Would you like me to get a healer? Or some more blankets?”

Cameron still looked uncomfortable, but shook his head. “It’s fine.”

“Cameron.”

“Darius.”

“How can I help you?” When Cameron just chewed on his lip, eyes trained onto the ground, Darius took a tentative step towards him and cradled Cameron’s cheek. Cameron’s entire body locked into place. “Please?”

Cameron’s nostrils flared, but he still wouldn’t meet Darius’ gaze. “Can I sleep with you?”

Darius blinked. That was. Not what he was expecting. “I-”

“Not sex,” Cameron said, instantly, looking up finally. “I just. I don’t want to be alone. I understand if you don’t want to, though.”

“You want to share my bed?”

“I- yeah.”

Darius forced his eyes to not linger on the bruising still so prominent on Cameron’s pale skin. “Of course you can,” he finally said. “I’m sure it’s more comfortable then the couch you’ve been sleeping on anyways.”

Cameron looked visibly relieved. “Thank you.”

----

Even if it was cloudy out, Darius had found himself with a free afternoon with Asmadai and her cabal gone. Cameron had chosen this free time to sit at the piano studiously for the last hour playing, and Darius had listened contentedly until he started getting restless. And if he didn’t stop Cameron, then Cameron was going to sit at that damned piano for another three hours playing.

Darius sidled up next to him and drew the piano case down. Cameron’s long fingers snapped back before they got stuck under the weight, shooting Darius a dirty look. “Can I help you?”

“I’m sure you can,” Darius said. “We have the day free to do as we wish.”

“Yes? And? I’m using that time to play.”

“You play every day,” Darius pointed out. “Come out with me. We can go have a picnic by ourselves and get some fresh air.”

Cameron looked blankly at him. “A picnic?” he echoed.

“Yes.”

“That sounds absolutely horrific. It’s not even sunny out.”

“Just humor me,” Darius said.

“And if I don’t?”

“Then I guess I’ll just have to have a picnic all on my lonesome.” The flat look Cameron gave him had a smile tilting up on Darius’ face. “I’ll let you pick out the snacks.”

Cameron looked so pained. “Fine.”

----

Cameron was still annoyed by the time they had left the manor half an hour later, even if Darius seemed pleased with himself. Luckily it was still early enough in the summer that Cameron didn’t have to worry about it getting too cold yet. The winters in the Court could be brutal and even he didn’t enjoy it.

They ended up finding some hill to sit on that was on the outskirts of the city, away from prying eyes. Cameron let Darius sprawl the blanket out on the grass and spread the food out before Cameron sat down and squinted around him. “Are we supposed to just… sit here and eat? We could do this back in our room,” he said. “There is no point of doing this out here.”

“It’s for the aesthetic, Cameron,” Darius said, looking into the basket of food Cameron had packed. “The ambiance.”

“It’s cloudy,” Cameron said, reaching for his own food. “The ambiance is tainted by shitty weather, Darius.”

Darius hummed and bit into his sandwich. “Mm. I think you’ve just been cooped inside for too long. Your already pale complexion is even more pale. However will you get the vitamin D that you need for a healthy body.”

“By dick in my ass, I imagine,” Cameron muttered under his breath.

“Wrong vitamin,” Darius said. “Interestingly enough, that���s vitamin C. Amongst other things.”

Cameron rolled his eyes. “I’ll remember that next time my face is in a mattress.”

“What is it you want, Cameron?” Darius asked, looking up at the idiotically grey sky. “If you could have anything, be anyone, right now, what would it be.”

“Does it matter?” Cameron said, laying on his back, closing his eyes. “Wanting things has never been in my vocabulary. It’s irrelevant and a waste of time. I’m not even a person. Tools of war have but one purpose. To cause damage.”

He could feel Darius’ brilliant gold eyes on him, and Cameron didn’t like it. “Well,” Darius said, softly. “I think you have done the least amount of damage to me out of everyone I have ever come in contact with.”

Cameron opened his eyes and looked at him tiredly. “For now,” he said, softly enough, Cameron almost hated both himself and Darius.

Darius just laid down next to him and folded his hands over his stomach. “I think I want a place of my own,” he said. “I’d like a family, children. Sure, it could be because I’m an omega. But I think… I just want a family. Never had one.”

Family’s overrated, Cameron almost felt compelled to say. Instead he offered Darius the mercy of hopeless causes. “Sounds nice,” he said, mildly. “I guess… I’d just want to be left alone to cook and make music. That’s all I want. Not going to get it, so I don’t waste my breath. But… it’d be nice.”

Darius nudged him. “I think you’re getting the hang of it.”

Cameron closed his eyes again. “”Don’t touch me.”

-----

A month later and Darius was still letting Cameron sleep in his bed. Every night since that first night Cameron asked, and every night, Darius said yes. But there were some where Cameron never came back to the room at all. Darius didn’t have the bravery to ask Cameron about it, especially when Cameron seemed to be more distant those next mornings. But Darius always provided Cameron tea and honey when he came back.

They had both been reading for hours by the time Cameron’s services were requested. Darius read in the same spot for several more hours before Cameron came back. Cameron returned to sit next to him on the couch, watching Darius tiredly. Darius offered him no words, not wanting to break Cameron’s silence.

Eventually Darius felt the weight of Cameron’s head against his shoulder. He dared to look over, careful to not move too much. As he thought, Cameron had fallen asleep, his white hair falling over his closed eyes, smoothing out the perpetual annoyed look on his face.

Darius resisted the urge to move the hair away from Cameron’s elegant face, but remained in control of his impulses. Instead he turned back to his book and felt himself smile when Cameron settled more against him. Darius awkwardly reached for the throw blanket and threw it around Cameron’s bare shoulders before turning back to his book.

----

“Okay, but you learn absolutely nothing from those books,” Cameron said, looking distastefully at the paperback romance novel in Darius’ hands. “It’s pure fantasy. Life’s too bloody and miserable for anything like that to come true.”

“Okay,” Darius said. “But consider this. That’s the point. It’s a fantasy, it’s something to hope for some day. Sure, a whirlwind romance like the one in this book could be hard to imagine, but that doesn’t mean romance in the world is dead. Nothing can kill true love, no matter how hard some try.”

Cameron gave him a long, skeptical look, but elected to not tell him that love didn’t exist. “I still think the right books are the ones where you actually learn something. Otherwise it’s just a waste of time and paper.”

“Not everyone can read just nonfiction like you can, Cameron.”

“That’s because not everyone has good taste,” Cameron said, propping his legs up on Darius’ lap, eyes turning back to his own book. “Not only is it useful, I am not wasting my time chasing fantasies.”

Darius sighed softly and just patted Cameron’s leg. “It must be quite exhausting in your head, my Cameron.”

Cameron glowered at him over his book. “No more exhausting than in yours, I imagine, my nuisance. It’s a special kind of hell chasing fantasies when you should be focusing on survival.”

“Oh Cameron,” Darius said, softly. “There is so much more to life than surviving.”

-------

It was a rare night when both Cameron and Darius had the same time off. Cameron had made the habit of fixing them both dinner in the evenings, even when they both weren’t in the room at the same time. It was the only way Cameron could convince himself to eat.

He could feel Darius staring at him while they ate. Cameron pretended to not notice how Darius’ sneaking looks kept lingering on his face. Finally Cameron looked up from his meal and met his gaze steadily. “Is there a particular reason you are staring at me?”

Darius didn’t even blink. “Because you’re beautiful.”

Cameron rose a brow. “Yes, I am. But that doesn’t explain why you are staring at me when you’ve seen my face every night for the last four months.”

“Okay,” Darius said, annoyed enough Cameron’s mouth lifted. “I’m staring at you because I want to kiss you. Haven’t done that in the last four months.”

Cameron blinked. “You- why? I mean I know why, as I have seen my reflection, but-”

“Believe it or not, I do appreciate your company.”

He was annoyed. “Well as long as you appreciate it-”

Darius leaned over and covered Cameron’s mouth with his golden hand. “Cameron. Let me- just. Please stop talking.” Cameron glared at him, but didn’t snap his wrist at the unneeded censorship. Darius gave him a firm look before removing his hand. “Whether you want to believe it or not… I know you feel the same way too. You don’t… you don’t have to act on it, or you can even leave if you want. But just. Don’t lie, not about this. About me. Because I’m your truth.”

For the first time, Cameron had to force himself to hold those golden eyes. He… He didn’t know what he felt. Was- Did he feel safe? Was that how Darius made him feel? He made him feel warm, not like a walking corpse, not used. But… That didn’t mean anything, did it? It just meant he was decent enough to not pay Cameron to take him to bed. “I… don’t know what that means. I don’t know what you mean to me. You’re just. I don’t know what you are. You’re just not my enemy. I’m safe with you.”

“You are safe with me,” Darius said.

“But are you safe with me,” Cameron countered.

Darius seemed to think about that. Cameron stared him down for what felt like an eternity before Darius said, “You live a very bloody life, Cameron. I think I’d be a fool to think I was ever completely safe, even with you. But that doesn’t stop me from caring about you, from wanting you in whatever way you’ll have me.”

“There are so, so many more people that you could want, Darius,” Cameron said. “Or is it because I am Asmadai’s bastard that you’re interested.”

Darius looked genuinely hurt and taken aback. “No, of course not. I have no desire to have her ear. I just want you.”

Cameron stared at him. He opened his mouth and closed it several times, at a loss of words. How the fuck was he supposed to answer this. He felt like there should be some kind of catch. There had to be, but he couldn’t figure out what if it wasn’t because Darius wanted at his mother. “I have been nothing but a pain in the ass to you,” he finally said.

“A cross I am willing to bear,” he said, solemnly.

“I…” Cameron sighed sharply. “I don’t know.. How to be what you want.”

“You make it sound like I actually know how a relationship is supposed to go,” Darius pointed out.

“Don’t your fancy romance novels tell you,” Cameron said, trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice.

“I thought you said those were a fantasy?”

“They are,” Cameron said, flatly.

“Then I don’t see why we can’t work together to figure it- us- out,” Darius said. “Since romance novels seem to not be construction manuals.”

Cameron gnawed on his lip. “But why. I don’t understand why.”

“Why I like you? Care for you?”

“Yes,” Cameron said, exasperated.

“That is a good question,” Darius mused. “One I do not know the answer to. I just like you. You amuse me, keep me company. You make sure I don’t starve. Surely that has to count for something.”

“Are you saying you want me because I can cook.”

“Oh absolutely.”

“Well at least that makes sense,” Cameron muttered under his breath.

“I know what you’re doing,” Darius said. “And it’s not going to keep working.”

“I think it’s working quite well,” Cameron replied.

“I’m sure you do, however, we are all allowed to be wrong sometimes.”

“I am not wrong,” Cameron snapped.

Darius smiled. “Then prove it.”

Cameron’s nostrils flared. “You’re mocking me and I do not like it.”

“Am I?”

“Yes you are,” Cameron said, knowing damn well Darius was baiting him. “I think you like making a fool out of me.”

Darius’ eyes glittered in amusement and Cameron frowned. Darius leaned forward and cradled Cameron’s face, sending a jolt of electricity through his core. Cameron looked down, trying to ignore the tingling in his face. “Look at me?”

Cameron forced his eyes up. The words died in his throat.

Cameron somehow felt warm and ice cold at the same time. He was sitting too still and he was too restless. He wanted… he didn’t know what he wanted. To run or to stay. He wasn’t sure if he felt safe or not, but he didn’t see any threats, his mind was betraying him, looking for an out, but there was only Darius. “What?” he rasped.

The way Darius looked at him had Cameron wanting to shatter something. “What are you feeling, right now?”

“I already told you. I think you like making a fool out of me.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t do that to me. Tell me what you’re feeling.”

Cameron could almost taste the metallic flavor of his venom. “Threatened,” Cameron finally said. “I’m feeling threatened and I don’t know why.”

Darius stilled just slightly enough Cameron straightened. “Do you want me to move my hand?” he asked.

“I don’t.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“I don’t.”

“What do you want?”

Cameron gazed at him in silence. That was the question, wasn’t it. He couldn’t very well just say him, that would make Darius his, and that would mean he would be Destris’ and Cameron couldn’t do anything against his brother. It had been well trained into him since he was seven years old.

“I want…” Cameron’s voice faltered. He closed his mouth. “I can’t want anything.”

“Cameron.”

The last of his nerves frayed. “Don’t you get it,” he snapped. “I can’t want anything. I can’t want you, I can’t want my own kitchen or a damn piano or anything. I am not a person. You are not a person. We are not people. We are tools for the elite to warm beds, or in my case to slit throats when my father wishes. If I so much as try to want something Destris will find out and he will take it away from me. He will have me on my knees one way or another, Darius, and that makes you a liability.”

Darius tried for a small smile. “Are you saying I’m important to you?”

“I’m saying you make it extremely inconvenient to be me,” Cameron said, crossly. “You’re not… supposed to. Make me feel like- you’re not supposed to make me feel. It’s a distraction. You are a distraction.”

“A distraction from what?”

“Survival.” The faint way Darius’ thumb brushed against Cameron’s cheek made Cameron shiver. “You are a threat to me and I can’t protect you.”

“I don’t need you to protect me,” Darius said, pressing his forehead against Cameron’s. “I need you to take what you want. To do what you want. To do more than survive. You deserve to live, Cameron. You deserve more than what you have been given.”

The cinnamon and thyme scent filled his nose and Cameron closed his eyes. “No I don’t,” he said, weakly. “I don’t deserve anything just because I’m alive. I am a bastard. In the eyes of every single demon of the realm, I am not a person.”

“You are to me,” Darius said, softly.

Cameron looked at him for what felt like an eternity. “Then you’re a fool,” he said. Cameron leaned over, hesitated only slightly before kissing him on the mouth. The softness of Darius’ slightly parted lips undone him in a way that had Cameron abruptly pulling back and staring at him.

His breath was shallow and he could barely breathe. Darius somehow looked alarmed and perfectly calm at the same time, but Cameron didn’t give him the chance to say anything before getting to his feet and stalking out of the room.

Cameron nearly bulldozed into several court people on his way outside. He reached for a pack of cigarettes he had in his pockets and had one half lit before the familiar hazel green eyes appeared in front of him. “I do hope you have a plan on fixing your teeth if you’re going to smoke those. Mother will not be happy if your value drops because of yellow teeth.”

Cameron didn’t have the energy to quip at him. Instead he just took a singular drag from his cigarette and tiredly said, “Of course. Mustn’t damage the merchandise. Many do enjoy being bitten in bed.”

“Mm. Do you?”

“Does it matter if I do or not?”

“Not really, but I thought I’d humor you.” When Cameron didn’t say anything, Destris took his chin and forced Cameron to meet his eyes. “Are you ill?” he mused. “Perhaps you lost the ability to use your tongue. Should I see?”

“If you choose so,” Cameron said, mildly. “I can assure you my skills are up to par. Just in a sour mood, that’s all.”

“I might take you up on that later,” Destris said. “It is your day off after all. You need your rest.”

“Much appreciated,” Cameron said. “Do you need anything else?”

“No, I do not think so. Just wanted to make sure my idiot toy isn’t doing something stupid like permenantly marring his body.”

---

Darius waited up for hours upon hours, nearly reaching into daylight for Cameron to come back, not even knowing if Cameron was going to come back. But when he finally did, Cameron was back to his normal untouchable self. He seemed to have regained that faux composure he had spent the last seventeen years perfecting. Even if he did stumble a little when he locked eyes with Darius. “You’re still awake,” was all Cameron said. “I’ve been gone for nearly eight hours.”

“I wanted to be awake in case you came back.”

“Why wouldn’t I come back,” Cameron said, mildly.

“Why would you bolt like a rabbit after kissing me?”

Cameron worked his jaw. “Apparently becuase I thrive on making stupid decisions.”

Darius couldn’t help the way his mouth lifted at the corner. “I don’t think you made a stupid decision.”

“Of course you don’t,” Cameron said. “You wanted me to kiss you. And now I broke the rules. For another whore. One who quite possibly has the power to destroy me.”

Darius gave him a long, steady look. He didn’t think anything could possibly destroy Cameron. He was still standing now despite life and he would still be standing a thousand years from now despite a thousand lives. “You kissed me because you wanted to.”

Cameron didn’t even blink; his face didn’t even move, either. Cameron just met Darius’ look for look and there was pure alpha in those pale blue eyes. It was an effort to not give into his own instincts and bare his throat, especially when Cameron appeared much closer in front of him. He wasn’t sure who moved first or if they had always been this close. Cameron gripped Darius’ chin and glared down at him. “Don’t put a knife in my back,” he said, softly.

I won’t if you won’t, Darius thought, as if he actually had the power or the training to be able to do so. Darius put a hesitant hand on Cameron’s tapered waist. His skin was somehow warm and ice cold at the same time, just as heated and frigid as his stare. “Okay,” he said, in equal softness.

“Okay,” Cameron said, firmly. He let go of Darius’ chin and hesitated only slightly before letting the ice thaw on his face. “This… whatever this is,” Cameron said, “Is between us. Outside of these rooms, we are nothing. We are no one. You are nothing to me. Understand? I cannot and will not protect you if it comes down to it. Your survival is up to you and you alone.”

“I completely understand,” Darius said, other hand moving to Cameron’s other side. He waited for Cameron to move, to say something, but he kept watching Darius with those eyes before slowly letting out a soft breath and pressing his forehead against Darius’ shoulder.

----

Cameron had spent the last several hours wandering through the different shops in the Court, finding… something. He would know when he found it, Cameron had thought. He ended up in a jewelry shop eyeing the watches and bracelets. The branding tattoo on his wrist almost felt like it was on fire, but he wasn’t here for him.

Cameron finally settled in front of a display of slender black and silver watches. He was aware that neither color matched Darius’ rooms, but perhaps Darius would appreciate the sentiment nonetheless.

The jeweler came over and eyed Cameron over the counter. “How can I help you?”

“How much for this one?” he asked.

He looked at Cameron for far longer than Cameron cared for before looking down at the watch. “This is not for sale.”

Cameron heard the ‘not for your kind’ loud as day. Cameron narrowed his eyes. “How much would you want for it? I have the money.”

“Tainted money,” the demon said.

“Oh don’t worry,” Cameron said, “I washed the coins after I was done spreading my legs.” Cameron gave a sharp smile at the faint look of disgust on his face. “If you’d like, I can clean it again. Though, I do not think where you get money is that important. Profit is profit.”

“I don’t sell to whores,” the demon said, flatly. “Bad for business.”

“Would you if I was on my knees?”

The demon’s mouth opened but promptly closed when a voice mildly said, “Perhaps you would sell it to me, then.” Destris came up beside him and snaked an arm around Cameron’s neck, giving the jeweler a lazy smile. “Surely Asmadai’s heir is someone you’ll sell to. Now denying me would be bad for both your business and your life.”

“Of course, of course,” the demon rushed out. “Special price, just for you, prince.”

Cameron bit back his scoff. Destris was about as close to a prince as he was. Just because his mother was in charge of the hellbeasts of the Obsidian Court did not make her a queen. But he wisely said nothing and kept his face smoothed out while Destris bought the watch for him.

Outside the shop, Destris put the bag in Cameron’s arms. “I didn’t take you one for jewelry, Cam.”

Cameron chose his words carefully. “I thought it wise to own a timepiece. Never know when I’ll be able to need the time. All these clients; need to make sure to be punctual.”

Destris’ long, considering look had Cameron’s bones freezing in place. “Well,” he said, “I’m sure now you’ll be on time for our appointments, then.”

Cameron dipped his head. “Of course.”

---

Darius had barely had an hour to himself before he was finally able to retreat back to his rooms. The doors were shut when he started peeling out of his clothes on the way to the washroom, where Cameron was already waiting. Darius blinked. “Are you joining me?”

Cameron’s slightly raised brow only had Darius more confused. That didn’t stop him from finishing undressing, and that certainly didn’t stop Cameron from coming over behind him and unpinning Darius’ hair, letting it fall back down around his shoulders. “No,” he finally said, “however I thought I would offer my services in getting you clean.”

“Hmm.” Darius couldn’t stop the small smile. “Okay. But,” he said, “I want to wash you, too. And your wings. Please?”

Cameron gave him a long, long considering, almost bewildering look. “I- my wings?”

“If that’s alright?”

If Darius didn’t know any better, he’d say that Cameron almost looked flustered, but Cameron just began unbuttoning his shirt and shrugging it off his pale shoulders. Darius felt the breath leave his body when Cameron unfurled his wings. Black and leathery with the faintest purples and silvers. Cameron gave him an odd look. “What? They’re just wings.”

“But they’re your wings,” Darius said.

Cameron gave him an unimpressed look, but he didn’t miss the way Cameron’s mouth tilted upwards. “I suppose anything on me would be exceptional,” he said as he finished shedding his clothes.

Darius hummed to himself and watched Cameron run the water for the large tub and expertly choose fragrances to put in the water. The room filled with the faintest scent of citrus and cinnamon while Cameron went for soft towels and rags. Darius went to slide into the tub, watching Cameron’s back move against his wings. He could count only once or twice in the last several months he even saw a glimpse of them.

By the time Cameron came back, Darius had already submerged part of his hair under the water and had moved back so Cameron could get in with him. Cameron eyed him the way a painter would a blank canvas before finally saying, “Turn around.”

Darius did as instructed and listened as Cameron wetted a rag and began washing across his shoulders and down his back. Cameron so carefully parted Darius’ hair so he could get to his neck and Darius could not stop the small purr at the feeling.

Cameron only stilled for a split second before continuing once again. Not even a moment after Cameron put Darius’ hair back did Darius feel Cameron move to tilt his head back so he could pour water over his hair.

He did his best to not melt into Cameron when Cameron started lathering shampoo in his hair. Cameron’s long, nimble fingers were skilled. Though Darius already knew that from the amount of time he had watched Cameron play piano. While he managed to keep himself from melting, he was not able to stop his purr from getting louder, but Cameron seemed to not mind and kept washing Darius’ hair.

Cameron’s voice startled Darius into opening his eyes. “Turn around.”

Once again Darius did as instructed and turned back to face Cameron. The steam of the tub had Cameron’s hair dripping in his slightly flushed face. Without thinking, Darius reached over to tug the white strands out of his eyes. “There,” he said, softly.

Cameron’s flickering gaze had Darius leaning forward and pressing a light kiss to Cameron’s jaw before letting him get back to work. His eyes wandered back to Cameron’s wings, to the sharp talons, while Cameron continued running the soft rag down Darius’ arms.

“Could I convince you to show your wings in the room more?” Darius asked, curiously.

Cameron’s face turned thoughtful, considering the question while he continued his work. “Oh, I’m sure you could think of something,” he finally said. “You do have a way with words.”

Darius couldn’t help the smile blooming on his face. “I think that was a compliment.”

“Do you?” Cameron asked, eyes flicking to his for a split second. “I’m sure you would.”

“Mm. I’m right.”

“If you say so,” Cameron said, mildly, pouring fresh water over Darius’ freshly cleaned skin.

“I’d offer to make you food, but I think you’d rather I didn’t.”

“Mmm. No,” Cameron said, rolling his shoulders. “Food poisoning is not high on my priority list.”

“Tea?”

Cameron thought on it, pale blue eyes fixed on him steadily. “What else you got?”

Darius thought on it. He didn’t think he’d genuinely get this far. But he was going to run with it if it meant he could see more of Cameron’s wings. “You can have more room for your books,” he said. “Even if they are so dull.”

Cameron’s mouth twitched. “I do not think you are good at maintaining your position, Darius.”

Darius couldn’t help how he bit his lip. “Well what would you like, then.”

Cameron’s smile widened a bit more. “I do not know,” he said. “Why don’t you keep offering me things and I’ll see how far I can get.”

Darius whined softly. “Cameronn.”

“Dariuss.”

Darius frowned. “You’re mocking me now.”

Cameron lifted a single, perfect brow. “Is that what I’m doing?”

“Yes it is,” Darius mumbled under his breath, but he went for the rag and began to wash Cameron’s silky skin. Cameron’s amused look had Darius wrinkling his nose. “I will give you whatever you’d like, within reason, of course.”

“Mmm. Dangerous offer, Darius.”

Darius held Cameron’s gaze steadily. “I trust you.”

Cameron didn’t blink at Darius’ quiet truth. “I think all I want is a ‘please’.”

“A- what?”

Cameron smiled at him. “That’s all I want.”

“Please?”

“Please what?” Cameron asked, leaning forward to let Darius at his neck to wash.

Darius ran the rag over his skin, inhaling Cameron’s faint citrusy scent. “Please let me see your wings in our room. They’re too beautiful to be kept hidden away.”

“One would say every part of me is too beautiful,” Cameron said, mildly.

“Well, yes,” Darius said, “But your wings are exceptionally beautiful. And I so rarely get to see more than a glimpse of them.”

Cameron took Darius’ chin into his fingers and considered him for what felt like eons. He could feel something tighten and solidify in his core when Cameron leaned over and gave him a chaste kiss. “Very well,” he said. “Since you said ‘please’.”

Darius smiled at that look, and motioned for Cameron to let Darius at his hair. He ran water through the silky strands and washed delicately. He took care and treated them as if they were made of eggshells. He washed out the shampoo, conditioner and moved to his long, pale limbs and washed them just as delicately. Even if Cameron’s skin was flawless, Darius knew just what kind of damage the alpha could do at a mere seventeen years old.

More than anything, Darius wished he could protect him from his fate, but he knew Cameron would not appreciate the sentiment, so he kept doing what he was and washed the invisible marks from Cameron’s body and motioned for him to turn around.

Darius sucked in a breath when he took a long look at Cameron’s wings. “Can… May I touch?”

Cameron inclined his head, wings spreading slightly. “Yes. Just. Be careful.”

Darius hummed and lightly ran the rag over the long, thin bones, eyes trailing over the light silver veins tracing through the black and purple leathery skin. Cameron went almost… limp at the feeling of his wings being washed. He knew what level of trust Cameron was putting in him, and he had no intention of breaking it.

-----

A few hours later and Cameron was watching Darius read one of his useless books. He had been debating how to do this the last several hours and decided to just do it now before he lost any nerve he had. Owing Destris for this would be for nothing if he didn’t give the watch to Darius.

“Darius.”

“Mm?” he said, not looking up from his book.

Cameron went over and replaced the cup of tea in Darius’ hand with the small box. “Open.”

Darius looked down at the small box before looking up at him. He looked almost bewildered, but looked back down at the box and slowly began to open it. The watch was shining in the silver wrapping paper. “Oh,” he said, softly. “I- thank you, Cameron. It’s lovely.”

Cameron wasn’t sure how to answer that, so he just opted for a terse nod. “I saw it in the window and thought you’d have use for it.”

Darius gave him a far too knowing look, but just smiled. “I love it nonetheless,” he said, solemnly. “Help me put it on?”

Cameron moved down to his knees and took the box from him. “I know it’s not your typical aesthetic, but I figured you’d appreciate it anyway.”

“I do,” Darius said, extending an elegant hand.

Cameron carefully removed the watch from the box and clasped it, carefully covering up the branding on Darius’ wrist. “You probably couldn’t… wear it outside of the room often,” Cameron said, looking up at him. “But...”

Darius seemed to hesitate only slightly before leaning over and pressing a light kiss to Cameron’s forehead. Cameron did his best to not screw up his face at the sentiment and allowed it briefly before pulling back. The way Darius’ eyes shone was enough to endure the payment that he was sure Destris would take out of him for it. “I’m glad you like it,” he said, getting to his feet.

“I love it.”

----

Cameron spent that night with Destris, and then he spent the next several days between Destris and other clients. He barely saw Darius the whole time and the only time he did was when he came back to sleep. He barely ate unless Darius bullied him into it, and even then it took much persuasion on Darius’ part to get him to eat.

Cameron finally came back to the rooms after seeing a copy of himself leaving the room. But those same pale blue eyes shifted to the hauntingly familiar hazel green and it had Cameron stopping in his tracks, schooling his face into neutrality. “Have I forgotten an appointment?”

“No,” Destris said, sliding his hands into his pockets. “But I must say, I did not think the watch I paid for would be given to a common whore. Though, he did pay well for it as well. So I think I can let it slide. This time.”

Cameron blinked, and he opened his mouth before promptly closing it. He didn’t know what to say, and the ice slicing through his veins made him very aware he needed to say absolutely nothing. “Thank you,” he finally said, voice carefully neutral.

Destris gave him a spidery smile before walking around Cameron, his form shifting back to his own slowly. Cameron closed his eyes, sighing softly and bracing himself before going into the bedroom. Darius was sleeping on the bed, clearly naked beneath the throw blanket covering his lower half. Cameron’s throat closed when Darius awoke to look at him, confused. “You’re back already?”

“Yes,” Cameron said, numbly. “I decided to just come to bed, instead.”

Darius gave him a small, pleased smile and laid back down in the bed. Cameron changed into his pajamas, not feeling himself do it before climbing in the bed next to him. The smell of sex clung to Darius, and even if that was his job, this didn’t- this wasn’t the same. And Cameron couldn’t voice this, especially when Darius moved over to curl into Cameron’s side, falling back asleep almost instantly.

--------

Tuathal had never liked the Obsidian Court. It stunk of power and desperation to keep it, and it made his skin crawl with memories he didn’t want to touch. But Asmadai had asked for a meeting, and for now he needed to keep the peace.

Just in case, though, he’d brought his brother along. Cináed made a wonderful distraction, especially when he couldn’t be bothered to put on a shirt. He looked the part of a halfbreed, radiating his own power, and not power he had to steal. In comparison, Tu with his neatly pulled back hair and calm demeanor seemed the civilized brother.

While Tuathal sat, listening to Asmadai try to sell him on lending her his support. Not that he had any intention of giving her what she wanted, but it was good to seem like he was considering it. He knew damn well his magic was a coveted asset, but his plans revolved around ending this war, not prolonging it with more infighting.

Behind her, her son lurked, pale as snow, and an obvious attempt to be an enticing addition to the offer. Asmadai had no way of knowing Tuathal could never be swayed by a pretty face; he’d never been interested in sex, and that was not going to change for this young demon. Besides, he looked barely in his twenties, if that. Tuathal had centuries on him.

While Tu listened to Asmodai, nodding along as he braced his chin on his fingers, Cin wandered the room, poking his nose where it didn’t belong, passing close enough to the demon and her son that he could sniff at the both. They seemed unimpressed by the way Cin bared his fangs in a grin at them.

“Cináed,” Tuathal warned mildly. “No nibbling.”

Behind Asmadai, her son lifted his brow ever so slightly, the faintest of amusement showing up in his face, even as Cin growled at Tu.

“Cin,” Tu said, voice soft, and laced with a threat of his own.

This time Cin settled with a grumble, returning to Tu’s side as Tuathal stood.

After tugging on one of Cin’s golden curls, Tuathal fixed Asmadai with a level look. “I’ll have to think about your offer,” he said smoothly. It wasn’t a lie. There was plenty to be gained from picking apart just why and how she thought to go through with her plans. “I’ll let you know if I’m interested.” He wasn’t, but she didn’t need to know that until he had his brother safely away from her claws. Demons had done enough to Tuathal; they didn’t need the opportunity to do the same to Cináed.

Asmadai reached up to drag her fingers down her son’s jaw, not taking her eyes off of Tuathal. “I’ll be waiting for your answer.”

Tu didn’t even give her the respect of a bow. He turned away, knowing Cin was following on his heels. They didn’t say a word until they were free of the Obsidian Court. As soon as they were, Cin’s teeth found Tu’s shoulder, the pressure questioning.

“What did you think?” Cin asked, some of the playfulness fading from his sharp golden eyes.

“I think she’s a bitch, and can go fuck herself,” Tu replied, pulling his hair down with a frown. He ran his fingers through it once or twice to loosen it up, and then added, “Though she seems a bitch who might rise high. I’ll keep an eye out for her in the futures.”

“Probably a wise decision,” Asmadai’s son said from behind. It took a few moments for Tu to place a name; he hadn’t bothered to care in the room with her, but it seemed rude to not know now.

Cin shifted subtly in front of Tu, eyeing Cameron with the same feral look to him that Cin always wore in front of others. Cameron was unphased, but Tu already expected that. “Can I help you?” Tu asked instead of responding to Cameron’s comment.

“I’m here to offer myself to both of you,” was all Cameron said.

Tu bit back a snort. “Your services aren’t needed,” he replied. This was not a demon who had harmed him. He had no reason to be cruel. “You can let your mother know I’m not interested.”

Cameron’s icy gaze shifted to Cin. “And you?”

Cin met his stare, washed out gold clashing with pale blue. “I prefer my partners willing. I don’t pay to sleep with anyone.”

“I don’t intend to take your money.”

“And I don’t take bribes,” Cin replied dismissively. He headbutted Tu’s shoulder. “I want to go home.”

Tu stared at Cameron for a long time, chasing down flickers of the future. He knew Cameron’s answer before he opened his mouth. “I could buy you from her,” he offered quietly. “I don’t lack the funds.”

He could see the gears turning in the young demon’s head, and despite so many futures telling him Cameron would say no, he had to hope he might say yes. But when Cameron answered, all he said was, “You couldn’t afford me.” Here the demon hesitated. “But there’s another whore you could afford. He goes by the name Darius.”

This time Tu closed his eyes. Second ticked by, and then he opened them again. “I could afford it, yes,” he finally said. “But I don’t think there I have the... the time for a different man. This offer would only work for you.” Unease coiled through him. He rarely offered advice based on what he saw when he looked forward. “Don’t hesitate. It’s better that way. Merciful.”

Cin flicked him a look, a frown pulling at his lips. Tu shook his head once, unable to speak around the sour taste in his mouth. The blank look on Cameron’s face only made it all the worse. The young demon just inclined his head slightly. “Noted.”

Before he could get far, Tuathal called him back, on impulse. “Life has a strange way of bringing you things you thought lost,” he said. “This is not your only path, and not your only life. Your future forks more than you’re willing to believe, and you will be surprised by the outcome.”

Cameron paused long enough to give him a small, sharp smile, disbelief clear in the expression. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he said, and then he kept walking.

“You tried to tell him,” Cin offered, bumping shoulders with Tu.

“I feel like those cryptic old prophets,” Tu complained, turning towards home. “I hate those prophets. They’re all dicks.”

“Well. You are a dick, so.” Cin ducked away from the swat Tu aimed at him, laughing.

---

Cameron found two men to service that held similar enough scents to the two halfbreeds before heading back to the mansion. He was ordered to sleep with them, and he could not show back up without the scent of sex on his skin, unless he wanted to answer questions that would get him in hot water.

Cameron went to kneel in front of his mother. His brother was leaned against the throne next to her, that lazy, spidery smile curling his face as he rested his eyes on Cameron. The same smile was mirrored on Asmadai’s face and Cameron trained his eyes to the marble white floor. “The halfbreed wishes you to know he is not interested.”

His mother hummed, but it was Destris who said, “And did you serve them?”

“I did,” Cameron lied, smoothly.

“Clearly you didn’t do it well,” Destris replied. “Not enough training, I suppose. Even with your own personal whore. Here I thought Darius was useful.”

Cameron’s blood was somehow ice cold and burning at the same time. He allowed himself to feel neither and said, “I apologize. I’ll accept whatever punishment you deem necessary, Lady.”

His mother’s clicking nails was the only sound in the room, and Cameron could feel his heart pound in rhythm to them. “Bedding the half breeds was punishment enough, I think. You probably wish to wash their reek off your skin.”

“I would appreciate it, Lady,” Cameron said, still looking down at the floor.

“You’re quite welcome,” she said. “You may take your leave, Cameron.”

“Thank you,” he said, rising to his feet smoothly, eyes down as he walked out of the room. Cameron carefully eyed the hallways he took back to the rooms and he wasn’t sure if he were relieved or not when Darius was not in the rooms. He had no choice but to sit there and wait with the blade in his hand.

He had it resting on his lap by the time Darius came back, smelling of sex and perfumes. Darius looked from Cameron’s wings, to his eyes to the knife back up to his eyes. “So, I suppose the knife is going in my back?” he asked.

Or throat, Cameron thought, numbly.

“Yes,” was all he had to say, while standing.

Darius seemed to think about that, gold eyes never wavering as he held Cameron’s gaze. He tried for a half smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I wouldn't by chance be able to convince you to not?”

“No,” was all Cameron said.

Darius nodded, more in acceptance than anything else. Cameron watched Darius carefully unclasp the watch from his slender wrist and hold it out. “Wear it for me? I’m sure you’ll have more use for it than I.”

Cameron unwillingly looked down at the black and silver watch in Darius’ fingers and found himself reaching out for it. The metal was warm from Darius’ touch. Cameron forced it onto his own wrist and lifted to curl his fingers around the back of Darius’ neck. The black strands brushing his fingers sent goosebumps up his arm and down his spine. Darius had to lift Cameron’s chin to make him look him in the eyes. “It’s okay,” he said. “I knew what I was getting into by getting involved with you. I know this isn’t what you want. I just hope you can eventually get what you need.”

“I’m sorry,” Cameron’s voice cracked.

Cameron didn’t give himself a second before he expertly plunged the blade into the back of Darius’ neck. He twisted sharply, feeling the nerves sever and the life leave Darius’ body without so much as a whisper. Cameron wasn’t sure if the feeling in his chest completely severing as well was imagined or not.

Blood seeped down his fingers, drenching Darius’ hair as Cameron gently brought the warm, limp body to the floor. Cameron’s eyes were bleary, tears streaking down his face and he couldn’t breathe. He had no right to feel this; he had no right to tears or pain of any kind. But that didn’t stop Cameron from dropping his forehead against Darius’ blood splattered one.

Closing Darius’ eyes, Cameron felt a sob tear through his chest. It felt like he was dying, like this was what death was. He supposed, in a way, it was. He never planned on living that long, anyway. He was going to end up dead one way or another, either at his mother’s hand or his brother’s.

A walking corpse.

----

Five hundred years later and Cameron was still serving in his mother’s court. He had carefully crafted an image for himself, making people want him; making people fear him. Of course, that did not include Destris in the mix, but he had his roles to play and he played them well.

Cameron, however, had not been expecting a half beaten angel to drop at his mother’s feet. The golden brown, tattooed skin was covered in bruises and blood, dark brown eyes somehow daring even with one of them bloodshot.

It was interesting enough to get Cameron’s attention, seeing as how his mother didn’t kill him right away. Angels were a thorn in his side, but this one- he was also an omega and that also piqued Cameron’s interest. An angelic omega in his court, still alive and daring to grin at his mother like this.

“Well,” the angel rasped. “This is surely one way to gain an audience.”

Cameron wasn’t sure how he had gotten from his mother’s side to his back oozing blood, and half dead in angelic territory in a matter of weeks. He had used the last of his strength to make sure he ended up on the right doorstep, hand slamming hard against the heavy oak door before completely crumbling.

Black edged at his vision, and all he could taste was the mingling metallics of blood and venom. He heard, more than saw the door open, black biker boots appearing in front of his eyes. “What the hell? Cameron?”

The next thing Cameron saw was the inside of what appeared to be a large bedroom. He could hear Nik and someone arguing. Pain laced through his body as he looked over to see the idiot angel and a taller, red haired angel bickering about him. He felt the eyes of the ginger turn towards him, bright green and disgusted and hateful. “Oh, you’re awake,” he deadpanned. “I guess you did survive.”

“Ash,” Nik hissed. “Don’t be a prick. I know it’s hard, but I think you could manage for a split second.”

Cameron closed his eyes for a heartbeat, and tried sitting up. Pain laced down his back, his arms threatening to buckle. He would have landed back on his face anyways had Nik not moved to put him back on his stomach. “You stupid bastard,” he breathed. “You just had your wings chopped off. Don’t move.”

“Let him,” Ash said. “If he’s stupid enough to move after a hack amputation like that, so be it.”

If Cameron had the energy he might have rolled his eyes. “I need to go,” he rasped. “I can’t be here.”

“Well, too bad,” Nik said.

“Angels,” he mumbled, forehead against the bedding.

“Yeah? And?” Ash asked. “If I haven’t killed you, I doubt anyone else is going to. Not when Nik would probably throw a damned fit first. Plus Az’ril isn’t here, so you don’t need to worry about him.”

He could hear how Nik’s breath hitched just a bit before, “Well lucky us. It’ll be fine. I’ll deal with Papi when the time comes. Blood debts and all that.”

Cameron had spared Nik and for his troubles he had gotten his wings carved off. Cameron sighed into the bedding and tried getting up again. The temperature in the room spiked enough Cameron knew Ash’s power and filed that information away for later. “Ah. So this is why Nik likes you. You are as stupid as he is.”

“Shut the fuck up, Ashwyn.”

Ash muttered under his breath but came over and had Cameron jolting when Ash touched his back. Cameron reached out and grabbed Ash’s arm in a vice grip and turned to glare up at him. “Don’t. Touch. Me.”

Ash rose a brow. “I see, too good for angelic healing?”

Cameron removed his hand and put his face back in the blanket. “Something like that.”

Ash scoffed, but Cameron could almost feel Nik inching towards them. He could feel the calloused fingers hesitantly touching his hair; knew Nik was stupid enough to touch him like this, in front of another angel. “Ash, get out.”

“You made me come over here and save your stupid demon,” Ash snapped. “And now you want me to leave you alone with him?”

“Do you really think he is in any position to hurt me,” Nik said, sharply. “He already spared me once, I doubt he’d try to kill me now.”

He could feel the heat of the glare Ash sent both their ways. It was hot enough Cameron could feel his hair sticking to his forehead. “Fine,” he finally said. “Your funeral.”

“Aw thanks,” Nik said. “Now get out.”

----

“Sir?”

Cameron looked up from his paperwork, annoyed to see one of his bouncers at his door. “Can’t knock?” he asked, coolly.

“I- There’s another angel here. Besides the mutt and... Nik.”

Cameron lifted a brow and leaned back. He thought on it; there weren't many angels that bothered showing in his club, unless it was Nik or Amara. But they both were gluttons for punishment and both got sex out of it. And unfortunately he could never really get rid of Nik anyways.

“Noted,” he said. “Now get out and go do your job.”

When the bouncer bowed out, Cameron rose from his desk and went to the tinted glass windows that overlooked his club. The club was packed, and Cameron kept looking to see where this angel was. He had no patience tonight to deal with angels trying to dismantle his establishment. But his attention was caught when sudden shadows appeared, wrapping around one of the patrons.

“Mmm.” Cameron said, leaning closer, to get a better look. He might have walked away when a demon started talking to the angel had the angel not tried flinching back. He cocked his head, watching more when Nik appeared in that awful body glitter and slung his arm around the angel’s neck.

Cameron watched enough for Nik to drag the angel to the bar where he knew Amara would be, drinking all his booze like usual. As annoying as she was, at least she provided steady profit for his club.

Cameron came down to the bar, more out of vague curiosity and suspicion than anything else. He made his way through the noisy club, training his hearing on Nik, the angel (apparently named Levant) and Amara. By the time he reached them Levant had a glass of water in his hand and was following Nik’s line of vision. The dark haired angel nearly dropped his glass.

Cameron nearly stopped in place when the wide gold eyes turned to his, but the arm slipping around his waist had him loosening once more, pulling him into focus. He let Nik at his throat, to scent him, but he still forced himself to offhandedly say, “Don’t get glitter on me.” He ignored Nik’s happy hum and kept his eyes on Lev. “Who are you?”

Lev was gaping like a fish out of water when Nik grinned. “This is Lev. Mar is trying to get us in his pants.”

Hmm. Cameron forced himself to turn his attention to Amara. “I’m not giving you free booze.”

The long drink and loud sigh didn’t impress him. “Why does everyone insinuate that I want free booze? I'm just trying to get my darling cousin loosened up a little. Maybe by a cock or two, you know?”

Cameron could have told her it was because he knew very well that she pick pocketed his patrons and used their money for her alcohol. So she was, in fact, not paying for her own alcohol. However, he was still making profit, so he did not care.

Lev’s mortified squeak had Cameron looking back at Lev and gripping his chin. He looked him over indolently. “And does he want to be loosened up by a cock or two?” he asked, lips brushing against Lev’s ear.

The sharp spike in Lev’s scent- in the cinnamon and vanilla scent- nearly had Cameron freezing himself.

“Oh, don’t break him yet, Cam. The poor angel’s going to be too much of a mess to be fun to either of us.” Cameron could smell Lev’s very clear, very obvious interest in Cameron. “Though, something does tell me he enjoys being a mess.”

Cameron couldn’t stop himself from brushing his nose along Lev’s neck, getting more of his scent into his lungs. Nik had grabbed the glass from Lev’s hands and Cameron used that moment to grab Lev by the hoodie and press him back against the bar, still scenting him.

“I’m going to take that as a yes?” Amara was saying.

Cameron eventually pulled back, his eyes trained on Lev. Cameron lifted his gaze from those bright gold eyes to the black wavy hair. Despite this skin being paler, despite the moles dotting that pale skin, and despite this angel being so thin-

It was like looking at a ghost.

Tagging:  @idreamonpaper @incandescent-creativity @solangelo3088 @halstudies @alittleyellowdinosaur @mis-lil-red

[fragmentedink-archived]

Hell to Pay Characters: Cameron, Darius, Nikolas, and Levant  

Even though I don’t know quite what to do The time will show what we know is hardly ever true I’d rather have then never had the spinning room The feeling that I moved No more standing still at your will but you can try until you see the motion's moving you

tagging: @incandescent-creativity @idreamonpaper @halstudies @solangelo3088 @alittleyellowdinosaur

[fragmentedink-archived]

Hell to Pay: Part Thirty-One

I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, IX, IX, XX, XXI, XXII, XXIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XVIIII, XXX

cowritten by @lux-scriptum

A/n: Trigger warning: Karma is a bitch. Careful what you wish for :3c

Death kinda sucked.

One moment everything hurt, and Lev was trying to talk. Cameron wanted him to talk, and he hated to let Cameron down. He clung to the sound of Cameron’s voice, to Nik’s in the front seat. Nik- Nik had come too, even after Lev had walked out.

And then it stopped. Everything stopped.

There was no way to control it, and he hated it, hated watching Amara and Nik yelling at each other, hated watching Ash try to pull him back. Guilt tore through Lev. This wasn’t the first time Ash had healed him- it wasn’t Ash’s fault he couldn’t save Lev. He should have held on longer.

This was all his fault.

He stumbled back, and found himself on the porch. He looked around desperately; there was nothing he could do, and so much was going on. He caught Nate’s eye, and froze. Could- could Nate see him?

“Help them,” he blurted, desperate. “I’m sorry. Help them. Please. I can’t.”

It was a terrifying relief to see Nate nod at him. So he could see Lev. Lev sank down on the porch steps, lowering his head in his hands. It was very strange to have a panic attack and not have a body to panic with.

When he looked up again, the yard was empty, save Amara, curled in the back seat, with- no. He wasn’t going to think about that. He turned around, trying to steady his nerves. Dead. He was dead. Why was he still here then. No one had told him he’d have to stay here, and watch this.

He didn’t even have to open the front door. He started to push on it, and slid right through it. After a moment of shock, he wandered deeper, following the source of his distress, one he couldn’t explain why it dragged him through the house like a fish hooked on a fishing line. He stopped in the kitchen doorway, watching Nik go at a bottle of alcohol like a man dying of thirst.

“Nik, no,” Lev said softly, dropping to his knees beside him. When he reached for the bottle, his fingers went right through Nik’s. He watched a shudder go through Nik, and withdrew, looking down at his hands. They looked the same, but he couldn’t touch anything.

Once again he stumbled away. If this was death, death was hell. He couldn’t do anything, he couldn’t help, and he felt more useless than when he was alive.

So, like he had earlier that day, he fled. He didn’t know where to go, but he couldn’t watch Nik drink himself into the floor when he couldn’t fucking help.

The world bent around him, blurring on the edges as he leaned against a wall, breathing hard. Why was he even breathing? Did he need to? What kind of hell had he found himself in?

By the time he calmed down enough his vision didn’t crinkle black, the house was eerily quiet. When he looked outside, the sky was dark. How much time had he lost to his panic? Nik wasn’t in the kitchen when he checked, and the halls were empty save the angel sentries, and they didn’t bat an eye when he walked past.

“Lev. Over here.”

Nate. That was Nate. Lev whipped around, blinking at Nate. Nate could see him, and Lev clung to that, appearing at Nate’s side in a second. He blinked again, surprised. There’d been no attempt to move on his part.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, taking a step back just to be polite.

“Come with me,” was all Nate said.

Anxiety thrummed through Lev, though once again he noted it was odd to have the feeling but none of the physical reactions to it. He followed after Nate silently, into a room full of art supplies. Nate settled on a stool next to an easel, swiveling enough to look at Lev again.

In a very somber voice, Nate said, “You can move on if you want to. They’ll be okay.”

Lev’s mind whirled. “Move- Move on?” He asked numbly. “What do you mean?”

“You don't have to stay here, watching them, in the in-between. You can move on.”

Lev wrapped his arms around himself, trying to process that. “But they need me,” he said. “They’re- Nik’s a mess. Mar- I want to help. I wasn’t supposed- This isn’t how it was supposed to go.”

“How can you help?” Nate asked gently.

“I don’t- I don’t know.” Lev ran his hands through his hair, trying not to panic again. “I don’t know. But they don’t know what they’re doing, and I- I was only supposed to be gone a day.”

Nate considered that. “They’re resilient. They can figure it out.” He paused. “If it matters, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry this happened to you. You didn’t deserve it. But you do deserve peace.”

It’s my fault, Lev thought. And he couldn’t even cry about it. “I shouldn’t have gone back to that house,” he said in a small voice. “But I should have been safe in angel territory. I- I didn’t say goodbye to Nik. When I left. He- I should have said goodbye, why didn’t I say goodbye?”

To his surprise, Nate pulled him into a hug. Lev was even more freaked out by that, for a moment at least. He didn’t understand how he could touch one person but not the others, but it was too much of a relief to be able to touch something period. “Nik will be okay,” Nate was promising.

“I don’t believe you,” Lev said thickly. “He’s not okay. I can feel it.”

“He will be okay. He’s not right now, but he will be. Grief takes a lot out of him.”

Lev could barely hear him over the roaring in his ears. None of this was right. None of this was okay.

Lev should never have left home.

---

Lev wasn’t sure how long it was before he was able to focus again, but when he did, sunlight was streaming through the window, and Nate was gone. Lev doubled over, hands on his knees, and tried to soothe the remaining pieces of panic floating through his mind.

By the time he felt okay, he realized he wasn’t alone. In the corner of the room, he caught a glimpse of a tall, slender man. The tan skin and dark wavy hair was secondary to the golden gaze that pinned Lev into place, but in the next moment, the man was gone.

Unnerved, Lev backed out of Nate’s studio, wandering quickly down the halls, damn near walking through a sentry as he went. He found Nate in the kitchen, and to his surprise, Eden was there too, in a high chair. She zeroed in on Lev, much to his surprise, and shrieked, banging her hands on the tray.

Nate turned around, giving Lev a sad smile. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” Lev said faintly, scooting over to Eden’s side. “Hey bitty girl,” he added softly, just to be sure.

Eden shrieked again, reaching out with both hands. Lev made a small noise of distress when he realized he couldn’t touch her.

“I’m sorry bitty girl,” he said, wishing he could cry. “I can’t.”

Eden babbled angrily at him, which only made his heart break more.

“Do you want me to pick her up?” Nate offered.

“Please,” Lev said. He backed up to give Nate room, and found his gaze drawn around the room until it settled on the man he’d seen in Nate’s studio. This time he was sitting at the table, golden gaze on them, but he didn’t say a word to Lev.

“Nate,” Lev said hesitantly. “Can you see- can you see everyone who’s died?”

Nate hummed into Eden’s hair. “That’s Darius,” he said. “Cameron’s boyfriend.”

Darius gave a small wave. “I didn’t want to be rude.”

“O-oh.” Lev bit his lip. “Sorry.”

Darius shrugged a little.

Lev switched his attention back to Nate. “Can you though?” He asked. “Like- like my parents? Fax?”

Nate looked a little sad as he shook his head. “I saw Fax for a little bit, but then he moved on too.”

“Oh,” Lev said. He looked away, slowly sinking into a chair.

“If it helps,” Nate offered, “He was happy you found someone.”

Lev tried for a smile. “I’m glad he wasn’t stuck,” he finally said, rubbing his face. “I wish I’d known he was there.”

Darius said quietly, “I wish Cameron knew I was here too.”

“Why haven’t you let him know?” Lev asked, before closing his eyes. “Stupid question. He can't see us.”

“I mean, he did kill me. It might make it a little awkward,” Darius said.

Lev stilled. “He what?”

Darius shrugged. “He thought he was trying to protect me from Destris. I’m not too bitter about it.”

After thinking on that for a few moments, Lev folded in on himself. “Having met Destris... I think I understand a little now.”

“I think Cameron was trying to avoid making the same mistake with you,” Darius replied.

“Damned if he did, damned if he didn’t,” Lev mumbled. He rubbed his face again, and then looked up at Nate. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to ignore you.” He looked down. “And I’m sorry I keep freaking out.”

Nate smiled a bit. “You died, I think you’re okay. You’re safe.”

Lev snorted. “It’s not like anything worse can happen to me.”

“Watching your loved ones is a certain kind of hell,” Darius pointed out.

Lev looked up at him, meeting his golden gaze steadily. “I’d rather know what’s happening than have it haunt me in wherever I go after this.” He swallowed, and then added, “I want to go see them.”

Darius’ mouth ticked up. “I do too.”

“How- how do we go? That’s a very long walk.”

“We don't have to walk,” Darius said.

Lev blinked hard. “Ghosts can drive?”

Darius smiled a little, and Nate snorted as he bounced Eden to keep her happy, so Lev figured he had said something very, very dumb.

“There’s a ghost thing, isn’t there?” Lev mumbled.

“Yeah, there is a ghost thing,” Darius confirmed.

Lev nodded slowly. He looked to Nate. “Can other people see me? You can. Eden can.” Can Nik?

“Infants, animals, and anyone from my family,” Nate said. “Minus Nik.”

“Oh,” Lev said quietly. “So I can’t talk to them.”

Nate smiled at him sadly. “It’s probably for the best.”

“I need to tell him I’m sorry,” Lev said, trying to keep his voice from cracking. “He needs to know I didn’t leave him.”

That same sad smile never left Nate’s face. “I know you do.”

Lev’s mouth tightened involuntarily. He looked to Darius. “How do you do it? I want to see him.”

“Think about him. His scent. His touch. How he makes you feel,” Darius explained.

That wasn’t hard. Lev needed to see him, needed it so hard, if he could feel his body his chest would have been aching with it.

And then he was standing in the doorway to Cameron’s bedroom, watching Cameron haul a very drunk Nik to bed. A glance out the window told him it was dark. That didn’t- it didn’t make sense. His attention dragged back to the bed. Cameron had stripped Nik, and Lev could smell the booze from here, which was weird, because he didn’t have a body to smell with, really.

Nik grabbed Cameron’s hand as Cameron moved to pick up the clothes from his clean floor. “Don’t leave me too,” he said, face half in his pillow. “Please.”

Lev’s heart cracked. “I’m right here, Nik,” he whispered.

“Welcome back,” Darius said from behind him, startling Lev. He twisted, staring at Darius.

“What do you mean, welcome back?” he asked.

“You went away for a little bit,” Darius said gently.

“For a little bit?” Lev echoed. “How long is a little bit?”

“A couple of days, give or take.”

“Why do I keep losing chunks of time like that?” Lev asked, distressed.

“A lot of being a ghost is tied to emotions. You’re probably shutting down, when you get overwhelmed,” Darius said.

Lev gave a half hysterical laugh. “I’ve never been calm in my life. How do I make it stop?”

Darius grabbed his face. “Focus on my face. Focus on my eyes. And breathe.”

“We’re ghosts. We don’t need to breathe,” Lev said, his voice going up an octave. But he did grab onto Darius’ elbow, sucking in one useless breath after another until he felt more settled.

“We’re ghosts,” Darius said. “We don’t need to have anxiety either. It’s a mental thing.”

Lev nodded carefully, and pulled away, looking back at Nik, who was draping himself across Cameron. He slid over to the bed, crawling up beside Nik and brushing his hand through Nik’s hair. He damn near slid through Nik, who just pressed his face into Cameron’s chest and muttered, “Tis cold,” before passing out.

Lev pulled back, wrapping his arms around his knees. When he was able to tear his gaze from Nik, he realized Darius was staring at Cameron. He recognized that look of heartbreak as if he was looking in a mirror.

“Is it always like that?” he asked. “Am I making him cold?”

Darius nodded, not taking his eyes off Cameron. “You don’t have body heat. He does.”

Lev looked back down at Nik, before stretching out beside him, careful not to touch him. “I think I’m gonna stay here for a while,” he said quietly.

---

One moment Lev was watching Nik sleep, afte Cameron had gotten up to answer a call, and the next he was standing in Nate’s kitchen. “What-?”

He zeroed in on Nate when Nate spoke. “Baylor wanted to talk to you,” he said apologetically.

Lev frowned at Bay, who was sitting at the kitchen table, a tiny little infant in his arms. “You had the baby,” Lev blurted.

“We did,” Nate said.

“What, have the baby? Yeah, we did,” Bay said. He followed Nate’s gaze to approximately where Lev was, which told Lev he definitely couldn’t see him. Somehow that was a bit of a relief.

“What does Bay want to talk about?” Lev ventured hesitantly.

“He wants to know what you want to talk about,” Nate relayed.

“You are not to tell Nik that you are a ghost,” Bay said firmly. “You will not try to reach out to him. You need to let him grieve, and pick himself back up.”

“There’s a way to do that?” Lev blurted, startled.

“He didn’t know there was a way to contact Nik,” Nate said to Bay, before looking back to Lev. “Theoretically, yes. But it would be very difficult.”

“Do you think Nik is smart enough to not risk his own life to see you?” Bay said, drawing Lev’s attention. He looked exhausted.

Lev bit his lip, chewing on it anxiously. “No,” he finally admitted. “I just... I don’t know what to do, I guess.”

After Nate relayed that, Bay looked even more tired. “I can't tell you what to do. I don’t know if I’d be able to move on either. But you need to let Nik try to find peace.”

Lev looked down. Somehow, it still killed him he couldn’t cry about this. “I’m sorry I died on your front lawn,” he finally said.

This time Nate looked pained as he passed Lev’s message along.

“I’m sure I’ll get over it,” Bay said dryly.

Lev wasn’t sure how to respond to that. In the end he just said, “I didn’t just roll over. Not like with Remi.”

This time Nate was quiet when he passed on Lev’s words. To Lev’s surprise, Bay looked satisfied and vaguely proud. “I knew you were capable of it.”

“I didn’t want him to hurt Cameron. Or Nik, or Eden,” Lev said softly. “I'd rather me than any of them.”

Bay’s knowing look after Nate once again passed on Lev’s words left Lev uncomfortable. “We protect our own,” was all Bay said.

In the end, Lev just said, “Can I go home now?”

“He wants to go home,” Nate said to Bay.

“I want you to tell me you’re not going to tell Nik,” Bay said firmly. “That you’re going to leave Nik alone.”

Lev closed his eyes, swallowing. “I won't,” he promised.

“He won't,” Nate echoed.

“Good. You can go.”

Lev didn’t need any more encouragement to blink out.

---

Lev wasn’t sure how long he got lost, or how he dragged himself out of wherever he went. At least he reappeared at home. He looked around, but other than the sentries, the halls were still and quiet. He padded through them anyway, soaking in the familiar scents. It was habit to wander into Cameron’s bedroom. Lev missed sleep.

Darius was there, curled up a little on the bed, using one of Cameron’s pillows. Lev hesitated in the doorway. Darius’ eyes were closed, but he spoke anyway. “Sometimes I like laying here. Pretending he’s still my alpha.”

“Can I join you?” Lev asked, softly.

Darius nodded. “Nik’s side is all yours.”

Lev circled the bed, crawling up carefully, as if he could wrinkle the covers. “Technically the middle of the bed is- was Nik’s. After I joined them, anyway.” He still flopped down just close enough he could bury his face in Nik’s pillow, breathing deep. The faintest scent of alcohol was twined with it, but Lev was willing to ignore that for now.

Darius rolled over, golden gaze a little lost and a little sad. “Cameron wasn’t always like this,” he said.

Lev tucked his arm beneath his head, watching Darius. “What do you mean?” He asked, unsure how else to get Darius to keep talking.

Faintly, Darius said, “He was alive. Even when his life was hell, he was alive. Now he’s just a body with a heartbeat.”

“It’s hard to imagine Cameron any different than he is now,” Lev admitted. “What... What changed?”

“Killing your mate would do that to you, I imagine.”

“Oh.” Lev hesitated, and then reached out and touched Darius’ hand lightly. “Did you know... before he killed you?”

“Yeah,” Darius said, barely audible. “That’s why I let him.”

“I don’t know what it’s like to have a mate,” Lev eventually said. “Not like that, not a... a true mate. I can’t imagine what that was like for you.”

The silence that stretched between them was heavy, but Lev didn’t break it for a good long while.

“My Cameron was a thoughtful boy. He hadn’t even reached maturity yet before his family robbed him of everything.”

“He sounds... nice. I wish I could have met him then.” Lev rolled onto his back. “But I’m glad I met him at all. Him and Nik. I hadn’t been happy in a really long time.”

“He hadn’t either,” Darius replied quietly.

“I shouldn’t have left. I think I was a better person with them.”

He could feel Darius’ stare on him, and somehow the weight of it was comforting. “I think you made him a better person too.”

Lev snorted softly. “He didn’t listen to me very often.”

“He listened more than you think.”

Lev hummed softly, closing his eyes.

“Cameron is always listening, even when he’s not.”

Lev gave a soft, sad little laugh. “That sounds like him.” He rolled back over, sighing softly. “So. You’ve been here the whole time?” He paused. “Or is that rude to ask? You don’t have to answer.”

Darius rolled his eyes, and rolled on his back. “I’ve been here for the past five hundred and four years. Cameron was seventeen.”

Lev considered that. “He was younger than Nik is now,” he finally said. “And Nik’s still... very young.”

“Yes he was. And in some ways he still is. Sometimes I think he’s frozen in time.”

tagging: @idreamonpaper @incandescent-creativity @solangelo3088 @halstudies @alittleyellowdinosaur @mis-lil-red

[fragmentedink-archived]

Hell to Pay: Chapter Thirty-Two

I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, IX, IX, XX, XXI, XXII, XXIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XVIIII, XXX, XXXI

cowritten by @lux-scriptum

Darius had been following after the angel, who had been following after Nik. His heart hurt for them both, for Cameron. Neither of them seemed to be handling Lev’s death in any form of grace. His Cameron was slowly spiraling, even if no one seemed to be picking up on it. He always was so internal about his pain.

Nik, on the other hand, the angel’s grief was so violent, and Darius hated watching Lev being unable to do anything to ease his suffering. Nik seemed to live in bars, at least the ones that would let him in. He hadn’t been able to find a pattern as to which ones he chose, but the one constant was Nik drinking himself into the floor and getting into fights with anything that moved.

Darius had been expecting Cameron to pick Nik up this time, but it wasn’t and he found himself almost feeling sorry for Nik when the tall ginger angel forced his way into the demonic bar and dragged Nik up to his feet by his shirt.

Nik’s blood-soaked smile almost made Darius cringe, especially as Ash seemed to be fighting the impulse to throw Nik through the bar. “Hey, Dad, miss me?”

Ash didn’t bother answering him and threw some cash at the bartender without so much as looking at him before dragging Nik out of the bar. Darius followed after, unsure how Ash was even moving around without a driver of his own. But Ash’s eyes glowed an unnervingly bright green as he shoved Nik into a car and started driving.

Darius and Lev settled into the backseat, and he almost stiffened when Ash looked back through the rearview mirror not... through him, but at him and Darius wasn’t sure if Ash could see him or not. He didn’t want to ask, just in case Ash answered him and Nik was aware. But that didn’t stop him from giving Lev a worried glance. “Are you alright?” he asked.

Lev looked so guilt stricken. “I shouldn’t have left him alone.”

Darius would sigh sympathetically, if he could, but since his lungs were currently not functioning, he offered a comforting pat on Lev’s thigh. Sometimes he thought about that with Cameron. Cameron, who he saw get colder and colder as the centuries drug on. If he hadn’t been watching him for so long, then he would never have been able to recognise him.

The only difference was, Cameron had taken his life, and it was the choice of a scared teenager with no power.

The entire car was filled with a heavy silence that had Darius on edge. Even if he had access to his magic, he didn’t have to read Ash’s mind to know that he was yelling at Nik, about having to step foot into demonic territory to bring him home. Perhaps Ash was, in his own way, sparing both Nik and Lev more distress. But he wasn’t sure if it were that, or if Ash was just angry enough, he wasn’t able to say anything.

However, Ash seemed to regain the ability to speak, or rather the ability to yell when he dropped the still bleeding Nik onto the couch. “How the fuck are you this wounded. I thought you were good at fighting.”

Darius could have told him that that was exactly the point. That Nik wanted the pain, that that was how Nik functioned with anything, but Nik’s barely intelligible answer said enough, even if Ash looked positively unmoved. He had the feeling Ash was well versed in the matters of grief and the injuries that came with them.

Lev disappeared before blinking back in a few seconds, and Nate seemed to only be a few steps behind him. The worry and heartache on Nate’s face only seemed to go right over Nik’s head. “You’re going to give me a heart attack,” Nate sighed.

Darius wasn’t sure how Cameron could handle this day in day out with Nik when he could barely keep a handle on himself. But Darius already knew that answer.

“Good thing about being dead,” Nik was saying, so coldly. “Don’t want anything.”

Lev made the smallest wounded sound. “Nik no.”

Darius hadn’t been able to stop himself from flinching. He had been dead for some time, and he perhaps had wanted more now, than he ever had when he was living on the streets of Asyra or even as a pleasure slave in Asmadai’s court.

When Nik had pushed Ash, Lev had turned to Nate. “Please stop them,” he rushed out.

Nate hadn’t even let Lev finish his sentence before he dragged Nik and Ash apart before they went for each other’s throats.. “Both of you- stop it right now. I will not ask again.”

Ash and Nik both seemed to completely ignore Nate’s order, willing to tear each other apart had Nate not been holding them back. In the middle of Nate’s next rant, Lev gave a small “I’m sorry,” that had Nate’s voice going sharper than ever.

“It is not anyone’s fault that Lev is dead,” Nate said, making Lev flinch.

Darius put his hand on Lev’s shoulder. “He’s right, you know,” he said, quietly. “It’s Destris’.” Destris was the same reason he was dead, but he knew that Cameron had taken that blame onto himself. “Blaming yourself doesn’t help you,” he said, “And it definitely doesn’t help either of them.”

Lev looked at him, so sadly. “I should never have left him alone.”

“You cannot blame yourself for Nik’s choices,” Darius said, firmly. “His choices are his and his alone. No one is making him do any of this. Grief makes a monster out of all of us.”

----

Darius was sitting on the couch, watching Lev talk to Eden, who’s “DADADADADADA” brought a smile to Lev’s face. Darius couldn’t help the pure ache he felt sometimes, but she was a lovely child. It was his own choice to make sure he couldn’t carry any children, even if it had hurt more than anything else he had been though.

This felt too intimate, and he wondered if he should even be in here. Before he could ask, Bay had come into the room with his own small baby and put him in his own crib before going to Eden. Darius said, “Do you want to be alone?” he asked Lev. “I’d understand.”

Lev watched Bay get Eden ready for bed before looking at him. “No,” he said. “I should go anyway so Eden goes to sleep.”

Darius offered him a small half smile and followed Lev out of the room.

--

“Oh Cameron,” Darius was saying softly, watching Cameorn’s livelihood burn to the ground before him. The blue and white flames only made Cameron look even more pale and dead than he already did.

He listened to Zareth and Cameron talk amongst themselves, wanting to do something other than watch this club be reduced to ashes. Darius let put a shuddering breath, even if it offered no relief to the weight he felt.

Surely even if he were alive, he wouldn't even be able to breathe through this kind of heartache.

He could feel Lev torn between watching him and watching Cameron. "Would you like to be alone?" He asked, softly.

Darius shook his head. He couldn't form the words, but that didn't stop him from trying to give some form of comfort to his mate. He reached for Cameron's hand, even if he knew he couldn't touch him, not really, even if he knew Cameron didn’t know he was there, or if Cameron just chose to not believe he was there. He wasn’t sure which one he’d prefer.

When Cameron shuddered, Darius took a step back, arms folding tightly over his chest. He forced his emotions into check, if only so he wouldn’t disappear for days at a time. Now was not the time to leave Cameron alone, even if Lev was here. Lev was still so new, and he might even disappear too.

Lev leaned close to Darius, offering him a half hug. “I miss him too.”

Darius scrubbed his face. “You’d think,” he tried hoarsely, “after five hundred years it would get some form of easy. But nothing is ever easy. Not where Cameron is concerned.” He touched the thick scar on the base of his neck. Perhaps if he still had his body he’d shudder. “He killed me and I just want him to be okay.”

Lev rested his head on Darius’ shoulder. “You still love him.”

It wasn’t a question, but Darius answered it nonetheless. “I do. Very much. And I know you love him, too.”

“I feel bad for ruining his schedule.”

Darius couldn’t help but smile a little at the sheepishness in Lev’s tone. “He does like his schedules,” he said.

“He needs them.”

Darius snorted lightly. “He does get a bit bitchy when his routine is altered.”

Cameron detested surprises, even with his magic, there were still so many things that he couldn’t see coming. And Darius knew if he had known what would have happened with them, Cameron wouldn’t have touched him within a thousand years.

Lev sighed softly. “Do you want to stay here? I want to go check on Nik.”

Shaking his head, Darius straightened and unfolded his arms. “No. I- no. I’ll go with you, if that’s okay?”

Darius almost jolted when Lev reached for his hand. He took that as answer enough and blinked them away.

----

A few days later and Nik still wasn’t doing any better than Cameron was.

They found Nik drinking himself under the counter once again, but this time in his own kitchen. Darius wasn’t too sure that Cameron would be all too pleased with Nik in here doing this to himself. They followed after Nik’s clumsy stumbling to the door when someone started knocking.

The gorgeous black haired angel Darius had come to know as Silas was standing on the other side of the door.

“Well well,” Nik said. “Another one of Lev’s ex’s as I live and breathe. Are you wanting the next best thing?”

Lev only looked shocked and a little hurt at Nik’s drunken remark, but Silas’ “ew” made Lev give a small laugh. At the mention of Silas’ new tattoos, Lev looked at Darius and explained, “He did them himself. I’ve never had the pain tolerance or control of my magic to be able to do the same.”

“Does sound painful,” Darius remarked, enjoying the scope of blank ink sprawled across Silas’ forearms. “We were never allowed to get any kind of permanent ink on our skin. Damaged the merchandise, I imagine.”

Lev looked pained. “That’s awful.” In a smaller voice, Lev added, “Silas’ tattoos aren’t permanent. He uses his shadows. He can change them whenever he wants.”

“Must be nice,” Darius said, while they followed them back to the kitchen where Nik promptly went back to his alcohol. “Having physical magic must be useful. My own abilities were nothing like this. However, that could be because I’m a demon. Or was, I suppose.”

Lev nodded a bit. “I could never do what he does. My shadows were never that tangible.” He paused, watching Nik with a pained expression, before looking up at Darius. “What was your magic?”

Darius gnawed on his lip while he thought about it. He had made it a rule to not talk about his magic, at least with people he barely knew. However, they were both dead, and it wasn’t like anything could come of it. “Mine was… more mental, I suppose. Various forms of, uh, telepathy. Hearing thoughts, speaking, other things. I tried to make my magic as invisible as I could. I didn’t need any more focus on either Cameron or myself.”

Lev nodded a bit. “That makes sense. It doesn’t sound like you were in a safe place at the time.”

Darius gave a small, rueful laugh. “I don’t think Cameron is in a safe place now. Safer, sure, but. No one is really safe in the Obsidian Court.” He had seen how Cameron had swiftly and pragmatically killed everyone that was loyal to Asmadai. Everyone, it seemed, but Destris. Cameron’s hand always faltered where blood was concerned. “But I suppose if you can’t be safe, the next best thing is to make yourself the threat. Why fear the boogeyman when you could be him.”

Lev leaned against him. “I’m sorry you both went through that.”

Me too, Darius thought. But he found himself shrugging. “It is what it is. Can’t change the past, no matter how much we want it rewritten.”

“That’s true,” he said. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t wish it didn’t happen. You both deserved better. I’ve never understood others’ capacity for causing pain. Life may not be fair but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be.”

Darius couldn’t stop the small laugh that escaped him. “I do believe Cameron’s response to such a thought would be ‘Life isn’t fair and I don’t have the time to pretend that people are any sort of decent.’ I, however, know better, even if sometimes I wish I didn’t.”

“Yeah, but Cameron doesn’t have any emotional intelligence,” Lev said sadly, and with enough vague disappointment Darius was almost amused by it.

“That he does not,” Darius sighed, starting for the bedroom that Silas and Nik had disappeared to. “And it seems Nik’s not too much better,” he said, leaning against the doorframe, watching Nik throw a clock towards Silas.

“No one asked you,” Nik was saying.

Lev was hunched as he watched Nik, arms folded over his stomach protectively, fists clenched. “I hate that I can’t help him. That I couldn’t even when I was alive.”

“No,” Darius said, softly. “I think you helped him more than you think. You helped both of them.”

Darius got a good look of just how bloodshot Niks eyes were; a brilliant streaking of gold contrasting against his beautifully framed dark brown eyes. The eerily blank expression, though, it reminded him too much of Cameron. It didn’t look right on Nik’s swaggering face.

“It wasn’t enough,” Lev said, He went to crawl on the bed next to Nik.

But Nik rolled onto his back. “Did your former lover kill herself? Because mine sure did.”

Darius almost wished he could peer into Nik’s mind and just see whatever it was that was torturing him. He wanted to see how he could somehow help.

“No. My dad sent two into the front lines, declared a third a traitor so he could cast them out and straight uo executed the fourth. Those are the ones that died, at least. The rest got out alive. At least from dear old dad.”

Lev looked almost guilty. “Silas left me because Mikael tried to turn me into a weapon. He made me kill a demon and it haunts me to this day.”

Five hundred years ago the war was far from being over. The groves of bodies he had seen when he was alive still haunted him. Even if Lev wasn’t complicit, it was hard to think about how much destruction was brought at the hands of his people, how the desperation of his own had turned so many demons into monsters in their own right.

“A drop of blood is still blood spilt,” Darius said. “No one’s hands are clean in this.”

Nik’s sudden ‘I told him I was sorry’ jolted his attention back to the angel curled on the bed, rubbing his eyes. When Lev reached out for Nik, the angel nearly flinched as he rolled over to face the wall. “Doesn’t matter,” he was saying to Silas, “He didn’t believe me, and he left.”

“I did believe you,” Lev said, so softly Darius almost didn’t hear him. “And I shouldn’t have gone.”

Darius sighed quietly and went over to face Nik. Even with Silas’s hand in Nik’s hair calming him enough he wasn’t sobbing anymore, there were still golden tears streaking down Nik’s face. It tore at his chest and he didn’t know how to feel about it. Nik wasn’t his, Nik didn’t even know his name, but that didn’t mean that Darius hadn’t watched Nik and Cameron these last years. He owed Nik.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Silas told Nik. “And it’s not likely Lev was angry with you. I know- knew him well. He doesn’t get mad. He gets scared, and he goes to find somewhere he can curl up and feel safe for a little while.”

Lev stretched out on bed as close to Nik as he could get. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“I didn’t make him feel safe,” Nik mumbled.

“You did,” Lev promised. “You did.”

Darius couldn’t figure out how to help, and he wasn’t sure if he should. This felt too intimate for him to witness and he left Nik and Lev while he went to the doorway. When Silas went to slump back into the chair, Nik’s crying had ceased. He had cried himself to sleep.

Lev kept petting Nik’s black and blue hair, not moving from the bed. The vibrant blue streaks had faded into pale mimicries of themselves.

Darius decided it was best for him to take his leave and disappeared to find Cameron.

----

Of course, Darius found Cameron back at Bay’s house, going to take his baby back to the nursery to change her into a black onesie. It was nice that Cameron’s palate in clothing hadn’t changed much in the last five hundred years.

Black was a classic.

Cameron settled into the rocking chair with Eden on his chest. Darius couldn’t help but be concerned by the way Cameron’s fingers grazed down Eden’s back as he stared off into the space in front of him. It wasn’t like Cameron to lose focus.

Darius couldn’t stop himself from touching Cameron’s gaunt cheek, if Cameron instantly jerked back. Cameron’s pale blue eyes blinked slowly into focus and he got up and put the sleeping baby into her crib. Not even a second later Nate appeared in the doorway.

“Help him?” Darius asked.

Nate’s face was drawn. “Everything okay?” he asked, Cameron.

“It is now that she’s in decent clothes,” Cameron said, walking around Nate. Darius didn’t miss the irritable look Nate shot him before following Cameron. “Does no one in this house have decent taste?”

“You gave us those clothes.” Nate’s flat voice made Darius wince. “They’re from your house. Maybe get a snack and you’ll calm down.”

“Please?” Darius asked, knowing damn well Cameron couldn’t hear him.

He wasn’t sure the last time Cameron ate.

The way Cameron halted had Darius stiffening as he looked at Nate. “I am being perfectly calm,” he said, coolly.

The crackling cold look in Cameron’s eyes suggested otherwise. Nate’s long, leveled look was completely unfazed, but he decided to drop it and followed Cameron back to the kitchen where Bay was watching with ancient hazel green eyes. Both Bay and Darius watched Cameron look disinterestedly at the food Nate sat in front of him and pushed it to the side.

“How long are we keeping her?” Bay asked. “I assume until the threat is resolved.”

The way Cameron drummed his fingers on the counter was calculated and Bay could tell too. “Until I decide to bring her back,” Cameron said, eventually. “I don’t want her anywhere near Nik right now.”

No, that wasn’t fair to either Eden or Nik.

The scrutinizing looks from Bay and Nate were met well with Cameron’s detached frost. He wondered if either of them would push Cameron further, to get him to voice his true intentions, but Darius knew Cameron wouldn’t buckle. Not about this.

When Bay took Cameron’s untouched plate, Nate nipped at Bay’s shoulder. His heart hurt at the playful face-push Bay did to make Nate move away from him. The innate, unbridled love in Nate’s eyes as he kissed Lucas’ head and kissed Bay’s cheek had Darius yearning, even if… he wasn’t too sure that he would ever get anything like that, even if he were alive.

The vaguely disgusted look on Cameron’s face almost made Darius snort. “I’m going to leave, I think.”

Nate hummed. “You know where the door is.”

Darius decided to wait to follow after him, if only because he wanted a word with Nate first. Nate pressed another kiss to Lucas’ head before following after Darius.

“Thank you,” Darius said. “For caring for her.”

Nate looked so tired in his kindness. “It’s no problem. Eden is always welcome here. Even Cameron is, even though I sometimes wish he’d forget where I lived. They’re family.”

Darius’ mouth twitched. “I think you’ll find that Cameron nor I tend to hold much weight when it comes to family. But I appreciate it nonetheless.”

--------

Darius had made it a habit to find Cameron in the early morning, when Cameron always started making breakfast. But once again Darius did not find Cameron in the kitchen. He wasn’t even in his office, either.

He was on the porch again, smoking. He had been out here for some time, judging by how pale his skin was, and the dark grey around the shell of Cameron’s ears. The faint grey on Cameron’s nose and cheeks suggested that he was freezing, even if he didn’t seem fazed in the least.

“Cameron,” Darius sighed.

Cameron’s fingers twitched as he tried to light another cigarette. It took him several tries, and he was sure Cameron was more than displeased with it. He was even more displeased when Darius reached out and snuffed out the cigarette with his fingers. The dark look in Cameron’s eyes unfazed him, despite Cameron reaching for yet another cigarette. When Darius put that one out too, he said, “Please go inside.”

Cameron reached for a final cigarette before Darius put it out. The faint murderous look in Cameron’s eyes had Darius frowning. “I can keep going all day, if you want. It’s not like you can kill me again.”

Even if Cameron couldn’t hear him, Darius was still faintly amused by it. His mouth ticked up when Cameron sighed sharply and went back inside. “Maybe he’ll go get warm now.”

-------

“I think you’ve had enough,” Cameron was saying, with a far too deceptive boredom. “I’m tired of replacing my very expensive alcohol because you decided to drink your weight before breakfast.”

Darius watched the way Nik skillfully pop the lid off the liquor bottle and bring it to his lips. He didn’t get a drop down before Cameron had moved across the room and yanked it out of Nik’s hand, and shoving Nik back into the counter.

The angry blank bruises were still so prominent on Cameron’s back, even as he dug his nails into Nik’s throat. “Did I not make myself clear?” he said, smoothly, placing the bottle on the counter.

“Yes, cripple, you did,” Nik bit out. “However, I don’t give a fuck. Some of us are actually in touch with our emotions and can’t shut them off as well as you can, you miserable bastard. Give me that back.”

“Nik no,” Lev said, sounding scandalized. “That’s not nice.”

“And here I thought name calling was beneath you,” Cameron said, dryly, nails digging deeper into Nik’s skin.

If Darius didn’t know better, Nik’s skin was turning a pale gold, even with that cutting smile he was giving Cameron. “Well, that’s what you get for thinking, isn’t it.” Nik tried reaching for the open liquor bottle still on the counter.

Lev was already moving to push it further away from him and ended up knocking it off the counter, shattering it across the floor. Lev stared at the mess of glass and alcohol on the floor before dragging his wide golden eyes up to Darius’. “We can do that?”

Darius bit back his snort. “Mhmm. We can do a lot of things, if we really want to. Just need to practice enough. Emotional outbursts only get you so far.”

Cameron and Nik both stared down at the mess before looking at each other. Cameron said, “Keep breaking my shit,” he said, unhooking his claws from Nik’s neck. “See where it gets you. Go get cleaned up.”

Nik growled. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Now.”

Nik snarled, but shoved past him and disappeared through the doorway. Cameron’s cool gaze followed after Nik for a heartbeat before moving to kneel on the floor. “I thought you didn’t make a mess in my kitchen,” he said, annoyed.

Lev squeaked. “Sorry.”

Cameron carefully went to pick up the pieces and Darius did not miss the way Cameron rolled his eyes. “Don’t apologize.”

Lev snapped a look to Darius. “Can he hear us?”

Darius snorted, even as a fraction of envy tore at him. “No,” he said. “He just knows you.”

“Oh.”

Lev looked down at the mess Cameron was cleaning up and tried moving the shards into a small pile. But it unsurprisingly wasn’t working. Lev gave Darius a distressed look, confusion etched on his face. Darius said, “It can be tricky. Takes a while to manipulate matter.”

Darius knelt next to him and moved the pieces for him.

Lev watched for a heartbeat before moving to look at Cameron. He reached out and nestled his fingers against Cameron’s cheek. “I’m sorry,” he said, again, so softly.

Cameron’s eyes were trained to the floor, body tightly wound. Cameron quickly got to his feet and mechanically left the room, leaving Lev, Darius and a shattered bottle of tequila on the floor.

Tagging:  @idreamonpaper @incandescent-creativity @solangelo3088 @halstudies @alittleyellowdinosaur @mis-lil-red

[fragmentedink-archived]

Hell to Pay: Part Thirty

I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, IX, IX, XX, XXI, XXII, XXIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XVIIII

cowritten by @lux-scriptum

A/N: Trigger warning for excess grieve, alcoholism, allusions to self harm and eating disorders, mentions of past suicide

It was closing in on midnight when Cameron decided to burn down his club. The burning blue and white flames reached the night sky and warmed his skin. Zareth was standing next to him with his arms folded over his chest, watching the destruction of his current occupation.

Cameron could tell that Zareth was fighting the urge to say something about this, but Cameron didn’t really care, but despite this, he found himself saying, “Will you just spit it out. I don’t have all night to watch you bite your tongue.”

Zareth somehow relaxed and stiffened up at the same time. “I… I understand why this needs to happen,” he finally said, “But… am I still… employed? Should I be looking for another job, because if so it’s going to be interesting finding someone that is as, uh, well paying.”

“That would be difficult,” Cameron said, drly. “Lucky for you, I have no intention of firing you. Finding competent bartenders who can keep Nik in line when I can’t babysit him is hard to do.”

Zareth finally relaxed all the way. “Thank gods,” he muttered under his breath.

Cameron rolled his eyes. “As long as you don’t abuse my generosity, you’ll keep being employed.” And alive.

Zareth side-eyed him. “You still got that guard locked up in that dungeon of yours?”

“Yep,” Cameron said. “Not done yet.”

“Will you ever be?”

“Doubtful, but we’ll see.”

Zareth snorted softly. “Good.” Zareth’s eyes lingered on Cameron’s frame long enough, Cameron cut him a cold look. “Have you lost a few pounds?”

“And if I have?” Cameron asked, mildly.

Zareth wisely closed his mouth and turned back to the club. The fire was burning so brightly, so wildly, most likely because of the alcohol Cameron hadn’t cared to remove before lighting the place on fire. Despite so much heat coming off the fire, Cameron still felt cold creep over his skin.

They stayed there for hours, watching the club burn to nothing but ash and fading memories before Cameron decided to go home and make sure Nik had made it into bed. He still couldn’t shake the chill from his fingers when he found Nik passed out on the couch, several bottles of alcohol on his glass coffee table and wings spread out around him. It was the first time Cameron had seen those dark red wings in months. The feathers were almost in a disarray from being hidden for so long.

Cameron went to haul Nik up and carry him to bed, silently thankful for angel bones being hollow. He once again peeled the blood and booze drenched clothing off the omega and threw them away before wrapping the idiot up in a blanket so he didn’t catch his death. He seemed to still be cold.

Nik made a small mrhp sound before opening his eyes just enough to look at Cameron before rolling over and promptly passing out again. After a few minutes, Cameron had heard Nik mumble Lev’s name and he tried to not sigh.

Too much of this felt so bone deep familiar and Cameron was trying to ignore the toll it was taking on both his brain and his body. He debated on getting in bed with Nik, but decided to back out of the room and go to the nearest room, but first stopping the nearest sentry and saying, “If Nik wakes up, or if he gets too restless, knock on my door and I will deal with it.”

The sentry nodded, and Cameron moved into Lev’s room, shut the door and began peeling out of his clothes. He stared at the large bed, perfectly made before shifting and climbing up on the mattress and moving to the top of the bed to the pillows. He kneaded the pillows, trying to not shred them and buried himself deep, wrapping his tail around him and closing his eyes.

A shiver jolting down his spine was the last thing Cameron felt before letting sleep pull him under.

----

Silas closed his eyes. Nope, nope, he did not want to be awake. Not that he had much of a choice. He could only sleep through so much of the day before he lost the ability to sleep at all. Which was bullshit, but his option was to accept this, or take the route of getting very very drunk, and he’d never been one to turn to alcohol to solve his problems before, so why start now?

He damn near fell off the bed when someone knocked on the door. Loudly. Two options. Bay, or Ash.

Silas groaned under his breath and rolled to his feet. He pulled on a pair of sweatpants just to be decent before he opened the door. Not Ash, because he had to look down to see Bay standing there.

“Yeah?” he asked. Bay looked utterly done, and the ridiculousness of the whole thing was only magnified by the fact that he was holding Lucas in his arms. “Shouldn’t you be in bed or something? Didn’t they cut you open?”

“You would know this how? You've been in your room for over a week.”

Silas blinked slowly. “I’m not in the mood to get chewed out, Bay. Bad enough I see Dad judging me in the mirror. Don’t need it in front of me too.”

That was the wrong thing to say. Bay’s face closed off, going stony and cold in a heartbeat. “You are not the only person who has lost and grieved family and you are a damned adult who does not have the luxury of burying your head in the sand. You have responsibilities, even if you lost someone. I gave you a week. time to get your shit together.”

“Bold of you to assume I’ve ever grieved before,” Silas said without thinking. He grimaced. “Listen. I- I don’t know- I need more time. I just- I need more time, Bay.”

Guilt pricked at him. Bay looked so damn tired. Lucas seemed unbothered though, giving a little yawn. “You. Have. Responsibilities,” Bay enunciated. “You can multitask like the rest of us.”

Silas didn’t know what to say. Eventually he just sighed. “Yeah, okay,” he finally said, if only because he knew he wasn’t going to win this argument. Bay leveled him a look, one Silas chose not to interpret, and then turned around.

Silas followed him into the kitchen, swallowing his bitter grumbling like the good little soldier he was.

He slumped into a chair, rubbing his face. He grunted at Nate’s greeting, even if he felt bad about it. Nate wasn’t doing anything wrong. He had his hands full, cooking breakfast. The little demon baby they were currently...what, fostering? Whatever. She was happy enough, meat spread across her face and tray as she wiggled away.

After dropping a kiss on Eden’s head, Nate set a plate down in front of Silas. “Food helps.”

Silas had to admit it looked a lot more appealing than the snacks he’d been munching at midnight when no one was up. He scooped up a fork, mumbling a thank you. He shot Eden a look as she started babbling around her fist, a never ending mantra of “Dadadadadadadada,” that was hard to ignore.

“She been doing that all morning?” Silas asked, trying not to be annoyed. She was just a baby, demon or not.

Bay shot him a dry look. “She’s a baby. That’s what they do.”

“Don’t see why anyone would want one.” Silas flushed, glancing at Bay, who was feeding Lucas. “No offense.”

Nate hummed. Bay said, “Do you ever think before you open your mouth, or is it just automatic for you?”

Silas shrugged. “Dad always said I had more mouth than sense. I don’t mean to say shit without thinking. Just pops out.” He drummed his fingers on the table before taking another bite before he said anything else stupid.

“I don’t know how you managed to stay in your room this whole time when you can’t stop moving,” Bay said, looking pointedly at Silas’ fingers.

Silas stilled, looking down. “Sorry,” he said automatically, before adding, “I slept.”

Bay returned his attention to Lucas. Silas took that chance to go back to eating. He had a few minutes of peace to eat his fill (apparently going a week eating nothing but snack foods and whatever leftovers he could scrounge up at midnight wasn’t particularly filling) before Bay’s phone rang. The only reason Silas knew it was Bay’s and not Nates, despite the fact that Nate was the one that pulled it out of his pocket, was the fact that the cover was a distinct green color.

Nate still waited until the fourth ring to bother answering. “Yes?” Nate asked pleasantly as he tricked Eden into taking another bite.In the next moment his face flattened. “What do you want?”

Silas perked up curiously, setting his fork down. It took a special person to make Nate lose his smile. “Who is it?” Silas asked curiously.

Nate’s expression became resigned, and looked to his mate. Bay didn’t even look up, just held his hand out for the phone. Nate passed it over wordlessly, leaving Silas to put together who it was.

Silas sighed, and poked at his plate, rather than ask again.

“What the hell do you want, Cameron? I'm in the middle of feeding your kid.”

Oh. Silas made a face. Eden, for her part, gave an excited shriek, slamming her little hands on the tray like she knew exactly was on the phone, before starting up her little mantra, yelling “Dadadadada,” at the top of her lungs.

Bay listened silently to Cameron, before exchanging a look with Nate. “He’s busy. Helping me.”

What in the world could Cameron need help from Nate for? Silas flicked a look between them, before getting up to put away the dishes.

“I... could go...?” Nate offered.

“Why should you help that bastard?” Silas asked, with more sharpness to his tone than he intended.

Bay’s annoyed expression confirmed Silas had been too hasty to snark. “Silas will be on his way shortly,” Bay said, before hanging up.

“Excuse me?” Silas said flatly. “What makes you think that is a good idea?”

Bay smiled a bit and said, “It is because I said so. Now go get ready. I'm sure you're accustomed to babysitting.”

“Your logic is flawed,” Silas muttered, heading for his bedroom. “And I don’t think Cameron needs babysitting.”

He pretended to not hear how Bay and Nate both snorted at his retreating back. He had to go searching for a clean pair of jeans, but he had far too many t-shirts laying around. He snagged a jacket, deciding to put on his shoes as he went down the hall. By the time he made it to the kitchen, his mood hadn’t improved, but he highly doubted that would change Bay’s mind at all.

“Why exactly am I going over there again?” he grumbled.

“I thought you already knew. You seem to think you know everything since my logic is apparently flawed.”

Silas shot him a look. “You don’t have to be a dick.”

“Pot meet kettle. You're keeping an eye on NIk since Cameron has things to do and Nate is helping me.”

“They’re more of a dick than you are,” Silas complained, even as he grabbed his car keys off the counter.

Bay ignored him, taking care of the fussy baby in his arms. “Thank you,” Nate said.

“Yeah, yeah,” Silas said, and walked out the door.

---

Nik hummed pleasantly while stumbling through the house towards the knocking on the door. He almost fell through it when he opened it, trying to lean against the doorframe. “Well, well,” He said, “Another one of Lev’s ex’s as I live and breathe. Are you wanting the next best thing?”

“Ew.”

“What? Not submissive enough for you?” Nik asked. “Whatever, your loss. I’m sure Cameron is around here somewhere.” Nik turned around and almost walked straight into a wall before making his way to the kitchen. He went for a bottle of tequila, well aware of Silas trailing after him. “So what brings you to my neck of the woods,” he said, working the lid off the bottle. He pressed his back against the counter, mouth quirked to the side as he looked Silas over. “New tats?”

“Babysitting you.” Silas siad, before holding out an arm, showing off the display of new ink. “Almost every day.”

“Babysitting me?” Nik downed a steady drink of the booze, letting it burn on the way down. If he tried hard enough, he could make out two of Silas. Really was unfair how gorgeous SIlas was. Apparently Lev had a type. “I guess Nate’s too busy to come see his lonesome baby brother.” He nearly tripped over the words, but still barely managed to get them into a coherent sentence.

Silas looked uncomfortable. “Maybe you should slow down?” he suggested, trying to steady Nik.

Nik shoved his hand away. “Maybe you should take that edge off,” he countered. “Aren’t you still pining after your murdered ex boyfriend? Stars knows I am. There’s plenty to choose from. I suggest getting something strong and something Cam won’t notice missing.”

“I don’t drink when I feel like shit.”

Nik gave him a mock salute before downing another swig. “And thus you are the better man than I.”

Silas grunted. “You’re as bad as Amara.”

Nik’s brows flicked up and he eyed Silas from head to toe. “Did she peg you, too? She does love putting that strap in men’s asses. And as I understand it, you let Lev put his cock in yours, too.”

Silas snorted. “We haven’t fucked in years, and no, she didn’t peg me.”

Nik smirked. “I guess that does make me the better man then.”

Silas just shook his head, apparently not agreeing with Nik’s assessment. “We were better drinking buddies than fuck buddies.”

“Well,” Nik said. “We were both.” He took another long drink from the bottle before sliding down onto the floor.

“Congratulations,” Silas said, dryly.

Nik dropped his head back against the cupboard doors, blinking tears from his eyes. “And now she hates me. Which, fine. It’s fine. Whatever. It was going to end badly anyway. It always does.”

He could have sworn Silas gave him an odd look. “I doubt she hates you.”

Nik tossed the half empty bottle to the side, letting it roll across the floor, getting tequila everywhere while he pulled his knees up to his chest to drop his head on his arms. He ignored Silas’ sigh and movement to pick up the bottle.

“Wow, they really meant babysitting.”

Nik’s head snapped up so sharply his vision blurred. “Fuck you. I am a damned adult. I don’t need your pity or anyone else's. Just because they all can’t handle me drinking a little doesn’t mean I need my hand held. Apparently I’m the only one that can’t seem to actually hide the fact I have feelings.”

Nik stumbled to his feet after a few tries, nearly smacking his head against the counter. He pushed his way past Silas down to find Cameron. The sentries’ eyes followed after him and Nik smacked a palm against Cam’s office door. “Hey, bastard. You want to tell me why you sent Lev’s ex boyfriend to come babysit me.”

He didn’t give a single damn that Silas followed after him.

The door opened and Cameron stood on the other end, looking unimpressed, but somehow gaunt too. Though, that was probably because Nik was shit faced. “I have things to do,” Cameron said, mildly, “And I don’t have the time to hold your hand.” He flicked a look at Silas over Nik’s head. “I trust you can be competent with my omega.”

Silas made a face. “Not the first drunk I’ve wrangled. Won’t be the last.”

“Hm. For the sake of your kneecaps I do hope that is the truth.”

Nik could almost imagine the way Silas rolled his eyes. “I’ve spent enough time with Amara, and she’s yet to marry the ground despite her apparent love story with it.”

“Difference is,” Cameron said,’ “You break my omega and you can sit next to Sage down in my basement.” Cameron looked to Nik. “Go get in bed,” he ordered. “Sleep your idiocy off.” When Nik didn’t move fast enough for Cameron, Cam said, “Take him to bed.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay.”

---

Just because Silas could take care of drunks didn’t mean he liked it. He somehow got Nik to what he assumed was the right bedroom, though he kept his hands off Nik the whole time, unless Nik was close to face planting. Something told him Nik wouldn’t appreciate it.

“You gonna actually sleep it off?” he asked Nik, standing awkwardly in the doorway.

Nik shuddered into the bedding, curled up on the edge of the bed. Silas didn’t ask, just shuffled into the bedroom and picked the chair at the desk.

Just in time to see Nik start crying.

Oh for fucks sake, Silas thought tiredly. He didn’t have the emotional intelligence to deal with this. This wasn’t his omega, and he didn’t know the right way to deal with this situation. If it’d been Lev, he could have pulled him into his lap, but this wasn’t Lev. Because Lev was fucking dead.

Silas bit back a sigh, and scooted the chair over to the side of the bed. He cleared his throat, and then admitted, “I don’t know how to help.”

It was the voice of a broken man that came from Nik. “I don’t want your help, I want my fucking boyfriend.”

“Don’t we all,” Silas muttered, rubbing his face.

He didn’t expect the alarm clock chucked at his face, and only Nik’s drunken aim and sheer reflex let him catch it.

“No one asked you,” Nik said.

“You’re not the only one that lost him, you know,” Silas shot back. “I’m not gonna pretend to understand Cameron one bit but he did too. And his goddamn family. You don’t have to take it out on everyone around you. It’s no one’s fault but the man who killed him.”

“Are you saying you’re his family? You, who let Remiel have him?”

“Oh, go fuck yourself,” Silas snapped. “I meant his grandmother. His cousins. I wasn’t once talking about me.”

Nik turned to look at him, the gold of his bloodshot eyes contrasting sharply with the dark brown of his pupils. His expression was eerily blank. “Sure you’re not.”

Silas leaned back in his chair. “What do you want me to say? Do you want me to lay out my own grief for you? I’m a little out of practice, but this isn’t the first former lover I’ve lost. I’m sure I can figure it out.”

Nik rolled onto his back, laughing ruefully. “Did your former lover kill herself? Because mine sure did.”

So apparently they were exchanging traumas now. Lovely. “No. My dad sent two into the front lines, declared a third a traitor so he could cast them out, and straight up executed the fouth. Those are the ones that died, at least. The rest got out alive. At least from dear old dad.” No, Lev’s death wasn’t on Silas’ hands. It was someone else’s family that had gotten him killed.

Maybe that was too far. Nik was quiet for a bit, before rubbing his eyes. Silas’ gaze was drawn to his wrists, and a frown twisted on his face, but he didn’t say a damn word. Wasn’t his place. Hell, wasn’t his place to tell Nik off, and he’d already flubbed that.

“I told him I was sorry,” Nik said without warning.

Silas blinked. “What?” He blinked again. “What for?”

Nik rolled to face the opposite wall. “Doesn’t matter. He didn’t believe me, and he left.”

“That doesn’t sound like Lev,” Silas said, mostly to himself, before adding, louder, “Why’d he leave? Last I talked to him he was head over heels. With both of you, and that baby of yours.”

“I made him mad.”

Silas snorted. “Lev doesn’t get mad.” He paused, and then corrected himself. “Didn’t. Didn’t get mad.”

“Yes he does. I made him mad, and he left me.”

“What did you do?” Silas asked, genuinely curious now. “Must have been something big, because I’ve never seen Lev angry before.”

Nik’s “I don’t know,” was a pathetic, broken sound, and then he started to shake with sobs.

This time Silas couldn’t stop his sigh. He leaned over, hesitantly brushing his hand through Nik’s hair. “I don’t think he was mad at you. Knowing Lev, he was scared of something.”

That didn’t stop Nik from crying, though he did seem to ease up a bit, curling in on himself as Silas awkwardly pet his hair. Silas swallowed around the lump in his throat, and tried for a light tone.

“It wasn’t your fault. And it’s not likely Lev was angry with you. I know- knew him well. He doesn’t get mad. He gets scared, and he goes to find somewhere he can curl up and feel safe for a little while.”

Nik mumbled, “I didn’t make him feel safe.”

Silas gave an unsteady laugh. “No one could, sometimes. Not me, not Amara, not his grandmother. He had issues, and I don’t care how well he was doing with you both, they were bound to come back around eventually.”

Nik didn’t even respond. After several minutes, Silas realized he’d cried himself to sleep. Only then did he pull back, slumping in the chair, and wiping his eyes. The fuck did he do to deserve this?

---

Cameron had stuck around just long enough to make sure that Nik had fallen asleep before starting for Bay’s house. He folded Nik and Silas’ exchange and put it in the corner of his mind while he went to knock on Bay’s door. Eventually Nate answered it, face resigned. “Your baby is in the kitchen.”

Cameron didn’t bother responding and shouldered his way past and went for the kitchen. Eden perked up, hands smacking the highchair tray as she gave him a sharp squeal. The little terror started bouncing in her seat, her “dadadadadadada” grating on Cameron’s nerves. But he still went to pick her up despite her incessant wiggling in his arms.

“See, she’s not dead,” Bay said, dryly. “Even followed your schedule so you wouldn’t bitch at us about it.”

Cameron ignored him and pressed his lips to the top of Eden’s head, inhaling her scent. It was mixed with the faint smell of lavender shampoo. “You need out of these gaudy clothes,” Cameron said, completely ignoring his idiot brother’s remark.

“Those are the clothes you gave us,” Nate said, from the doorway.

Cameron shouldered his way past the angel and down the hallway to the nursery where he made quick work of changing the wiggling baby demon out of the pastel outfit and into something far more palatable. Eden squealed loudly when Cameron picked her up again, her incessant ‘dadadadada’ annoying him to the point he lodged a pacifier in her mouth. “Shush,” he hissed against her ear.

Eden giggled at him around it. But when Cameron had gone to settle into the rocking chair, Eden was already suckling at it and was melted against his chest. He ran his fingers down her back absently, feeling her ribs, her skin, her breathing. He stayed in the nursery, relishing the quiet until she was deep asleep. Cameron was jerked back into focus so he could put her back in her crib. Not a second later, Nate appeared in the doorway. Face drawn, Nate said, “Everything okay?”

“It is now that she’s in decent clothes,” Cameron said, walking around him. “Does no one in this house have decent taste.”

“You gave us those clothes,” Nate said, flatly. “They’re from your house. Maybe get a snack and you’ll calm down.”

Cameron halted to a stop and looked over his shoulder at him. “I am being perfectly calm,” he said, coolly.

Nate leveled him a long, far too knowing look, but elected to drop it and just followed Cameron back to the kitchen where Nate sat a plate of food right in front of him. Cameron looked at it and then pushed it to the side before looking to his brother. Bay was already looking at him, with a far too old look. “How long are we keeping her?” he asked. “I assume until the threat is resolved?”

Cameron drummed his fingers against the counter and thought about it. “Until I decide to bring her back,” he finally said. “I don’t want her anywhere near Nik right now.”

Both Bay and Nate were gauging him with long looks before wisely dropping this current line of conversation. Bay looked at Cameron’s untouched plate before pulling it over to himself. “If you’re going to waste food, then I’ll eat it since Ash cannot be found.”

Nate nipped at Bay’s shoulder, only to get a gentle face-push to back away. Nate sulked, but not before placing a kiss to Lucas’ head and a quick kiss to Bay’s cheek and scurrying to the opposite side of the counter. Cameron felt vaguely disgusted. “I’m going to leave, I think.”

Nate hummed. “You know where the door is.”

Cameron ignored his quip and found his way to the car before going to meet with contractors about wiping clean the slate and rebuilding his club from the ground up, wiping traces of blood and ruin and beginning anew.

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