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dansantat · 4 years ago

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NOW WE ARE TWO: A Eulogy for My Father

Adam U Santat (October 21,1943 - April 27, 2021)

Today is April 27, 2021.

When I was very young and we lived in New Jersey my father took us to the beach and he lifted my tiny frame over his neck and we walked out into the ocean together. My mother watched us from the coast as we wandered 50 yards into the shallow sea. I was terrified of whatever lurked in the water convinced that sharks would come and eat us. My father gripped my legs and whispered, “I’ve got you. You don’t have to be afraid.”

I don’t exactly know why this particular memory rests so clearly in my mind, but it’s a good one. That was my father in a nutshell.

I interviewed my parents for a memoir I’m currently working on. This is what I know of my father.

He was born in the small village of Khlong Dan, Thailand on October 21, 1943, though the official birth certificate indicates October 27 because of a typo (21 sounds like 27 in Thai) He was the youngest of nine kids. His parents immigrated from China and started a merchant business. For fear of being racially ostracized by the local Thai people the oldest brother changed their name from “Lim” to “Santativongchai” (he found the word in an old book)

They collected rain water off the storm gutters in order to drink. He didn’t get hie first pair of shoes until he was 10 years old. They were sandals, really. Knowing facts abut Western culture was cool and he had an insatiable desire to learn everything he could about America. Coming to the United States was a dream of his obsessed with Elvis Presley, Paul Anka, and movies like “Shane” He admits to being spoiled by his mother and says he was lazy during most of his childhood, but was gifted in math and science. And he truly was. He attended medical school, paid for by his older sister, Yawanit, and he came to Newark, New Jersey in 1969 to do his internship.

My mother followed a year later

His first car was a Red ‘69 Camaro. No air conditioning. He ran the car into the ground because he was unaware of the fact that you had to change the oil. He never owned a car before then.

This was the American dream.

I was born in 1975 and they soon made a mass exodus to Southern California along with many of their Thai doctor friends with brief career stops in Wykoff, New Jersey and Hopedale, Illinois until we settled in our newly built four bedroom home in Camarillo, CA.

He worked for the state of California as a pediatrician, and eventually as a cardiologist, and then a psychiatrist continuing his education over the years to fill the needs of the state. He was an accomplished man in his field.

He loved golf, tennis, and buying things he would see on TV. He loved Ralph Lauren clothing, he owned one of the first Apple computers, and he loved making weekly trips to Los Angeles to buy classical CDs and audio equipment.

Three weeks ago I stepped inside my parent’s home for the first time in over a year. The COVID-19 Pandemic had kept us apart . “Stay at home. We’ll see each other after this is all over.” my parents told me.

Under normal circumstances I would happily avoid their company for fear of constant nagging about a plethora of reasons which mostly dealt with my weight, or my political views.

But this was different.

My father had been diagnosed with Stage 4 liver cancer and he returned home to hospice care. My mother was helping him get situated on his favorite couch because he refused to use the hospital bed that hospice had offered him and recommend that he use.

They say that doctors make the worst patients.

Besides his stubbornness my mother was angry at him for not putting up a fight, turning down Chemotherapy and Immunotherapy and opting to just let the cancer take him. She herself having been a breast cancer survivor over 25 years ago (along with living with lupus for 45 years) could not comprehend the thought of just giving up. But my father knew the odds. He had taken one look at the CT scan and he knew the primary source was in the liver and it has metastasized to the lungs, his jaw, and his pelvis.

His body was dying but his mind was still as sharp as a tack.

I understood the diagnosis, as well. When speaking to the doctor on the phone he did not mince words by emphasizing quality of life. My father’s days were limited, and I was there to make the most of the time that was left between us before he departed.

“I have one last question for you before I go.” he said to me.

“Anything. What’s your question, Dad?”

“How much....do you earn annually?”

My mother and I quickly glanced at each other and we both immediately let out a huge laugh. “HA HA HA! You have one last question and that’s what you want to ask me?!”

He was always curious about my finances.

He is my Asian father.

Normally, this type of question would be a point of heated contention and it would typically result in an argument at a restaurant, and yet, here he is living his last weeks and he STILL wouldn’t let the question go. And this time, without argument, I simply tell him.

Why deny a dying man his last wish?

“I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!” he shouts as we all share in a good laugh.

“I have one more question...”

“What is it, Dad?”

“Why do you always get upset when I ask you that question?”

This too would have normally resulted in a heated discussion, but I simply gave him an honest and simple answer, “Because you taught me that it was rude to ask people that question.” And I left it at that.

My mother gets up and heads to the kitchen and it’s in this moment that my father pulls me in closer to discuss more pressing matters.

“I don’t want you to worry about me. I’ve accepted my fate and I’ve lived a good life. I’m worried about your mom. I want you to take care of her after I’m gone.”

“Of course.”

“I’ve saved up a lot of money. Use it to buy a house with a guest house for her. Make sure it has a big yard so she can do her gardening and she’ll be fine.”

“I promise, Dad. I’ll spoil her.”

“Good.”

My mother returns to the family room with an assortment of shirts for my father to wear. I grab a blue button up collared shirt from Tommy Bahama. “This shirt actually isn’t too shabby.”

“It was originally $125 and I got it for $90!”

Always in pursuit of looking his best while also landing a great deal.

He is my Asian father.

“If you like the shirts they’re yours now. All of this is yours.”

None of the items that my father owned interested me. What interested me was giving him one last amazing experience before he was gone. The one thing my father truly treasured among all his possessions was a one of the finest wine collections I had ever seen. It contained over 500 bottles of wines he had collected over the course of twenty years housed in three separate wine refrigerators, which were spread throughout different rooms in the house and sent their electricity bill skyrocketing to the moon, and my mother’s nerves to the very edge of insanity.

“Hey, what do you think about going into your wine collection and we drink the most expensive wine you have?”

“No,” he says hesitantly.

“But don’t you want to know what you bought? Don’t you want to at least know what the best wine you own tastes like? I don’t think you should leave this world without enjoying your one great vice in life.”

My father looks away from me and mutters, “No...It’s yours now. All of it.”

This is not how I want it to end. I want him to have one last good memory.

My mother interrupts, “I’m hungry. What are we having for lunch?”

I try to keep my father focused on his bucket list. I’m hoping for just one last memory, “Whatever you want, Dad. My treat.”

He looks at me and says, “I want a Pink’s hot dog.”

My mother and I look at each other in shock. This request from a man who was obsessed with his blood pressure. A man who constantly avoided salt like it was Kryptonite to Superman was now requesting for one of the saltiest most nitrate rich foods in America.

“With mustard and relish.”

25 minutes later I returned home with three sodium bombs per his request. My father, who hadn’t eaten in three days, grabbed a hold of his hot dog, and ate the entire thing. My father, a man who did everything in his power to stave off death by cardiovascular disease to the point of obsession, was indulging in the one thing he avoided like the plague.

SALT.

As I sat on the couch and watched him eat his hot dog I could see the look on his face as he solemnly took each bite thinking, “What was the point of being so scared for all these years?” I took solace in the fact that for the first time in my life, I saw him as a person unafraid.

Later that day, a few of his closest friends came over to wish him well. I met them at the front door, “Hey, do me a favor. Can you see if you can make him agree to having one last glass of wine?”

It was a good idea.

HIs friends all walked in, paid their respects, and then peppered him with little hints like, “Hey, how about one last sip of wine before you go?”

My dad finally agreed.

“That fridge has the best stuff!” my dad shouted as he pointed to the fridge closest to the door.

I was not as knowledgable about fine wines as my dad and his friends were. That’s what Google is for.

I reached into the back of the fridge and found a bottle of Opus One from 1995.

This was $600 bottle of wine. It wasn’t his best but it it would do nicely.

The room let out an audible “oooooh” when I entered the room with the bottle.

His best wine glasses were brought out, we each poured a glass, and we toasted my father. We share stories about his life, he boasts to his friends about my accomplishments, and we are basking in a moment of complete harmony.

For this moment in time, I was his perfect Asian son.

He thoughtfully studied the peaks generated by the swirling of the wine on the edge of the glass

“It’s been a good life. No regrets.”

I was glad I could give him this.

This week I bought that house for my mom. I told my father this as I fulfilled his last dying wish while I held his hand.

“I’ve got you, Dad. You don’t have to be afraid.”

“I’ve got you.”

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malibumart · 8 years ago

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Malibu Coast Wine Trail Map. Have you Visited all Seven Tasting Rooms?

http://malibumart.com/pin/malibu-coast-wine-trail-map-have-you-visited-all-seven-tasting-rooms/

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pinersharing · 2 years ago

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Redline club

Internets Corvette Community, featuring forums, products, Corvette news, etc. The premier site on the Internet for the C3 Corvette!! The place to find out what's happening in Southern California's Car Culture Hennessy C7 runs 200mph on Texas Toll Road If you would like to add a link, send an Email to webmaster Bob Lupo Glove - Bags and Luggage - Officially Licensed Products Our ELITE program is most competitive and goes from December-June. FOR SALE This auction is for a Hot Wheels Redline Club Exclusive. Redline offers 2 programs - an ELITE program and a CLUB program. HOT WHEELS REDLINE Club RLC Flying Customs 4 of 4 70s Van Purple 1420/12500 - 24.99. Redline's goal is to help girls and boys enjoy and love the game of volleyball while improving in their skills. on the second Tuesday of each month at the Los Robles Greens Golf Course Country Club, located at 299 S Moorpark Rd Thousand Oaks. Please come by and check us out.Ĭontact us for questions or further for visiting us! Here are a few of the sites around the web that we recommend. 18 reviews of Red Line Club took a long time to get food, get soft drinks and the bill.had a 5:45 reservation.ended at 7pm.didnt get charged. Redline Volleyball Club, of Battle Creek MI, was started in 2011. RED LINE CORVETTES was founded in 1990, and currently averages around 75 members, and 45 Corvettes. RED LINE CORVETTES uses funds raised through out the year and donates to local charitable causes. RED LINE CORVETTES members have participated in car shows, brunch runs, rallies, parades, weekend trips, wine tasting runs, family picnics, parties, national Corvette caravans, and just about anything we can have fun doing. The geographic regions include Thousand Oaks, Westlake Village, Lake Sherwood, Agoura Hills, Newbury Park, Camarillo, Oxnard, Ventura, Moorpark, Calabasas, Simi, and also Woodland Hills in the San Fernando Valley. Our club is comprised of members throughout California's Conejo Valley and surrounding areas. RED LINE CORVETTES is open to anyone who loves or drives Corvettes, America's Sports Car. The 3rd show of Fuego Fridays will be the biggest yet We have TikTok sensation El Gordo Mamon from CALIFORNIA making an appearance as well as touring comedian.

#Redline club

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quepasacafe · 5 years ago

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Nothing better than a tasty sizzling hot Molcajete for Lunch! 💃 We offer authentic Mexican food together with a friendly atmosphere. Come and join us for a taste of Mexico! 💃#QuePasaCafe 🍻 Happy Hour: Mon-Fri from 2PM-6PM on Drinks and Appetizer Specials 🍷Join us for Wild Wednesdays🍷 Wild Horse Wine Half-Price Bottle or $5 Glass 🤩Wednesdays Kids eat FREE – ask server for details!

📸: Jens Q. on Yelp – Thanks for sharing!

Atascadero, Bakersfield, Camarillo, Fresno, Hanford, Tulare & Visalia 💃 🌐www.qpmexicancafe.com/locations.html

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thousandoaksba · 6 years ago

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Romantic Dates in Thousand Oaks; Top Picks From Your Storage Unit Experts

Are you thinking “what do storage units and romantic dates have to do with each other?” Well, not a lot, but never underestimate how much our team knows about things to do in Thousand Oaks, Camarillo, Westlake Village and all the other communities we serve! So, with Valentine’s Day just around the corner, we asked them for their suggestions for romantic date spots near Thousand Oaks. We think our team of Romeos did pretty well!

Restaurants

Pearl District – Sophisticated, yet warm, cozy and inviting. This Westlake Village restaurant provides a first-class experience without pretensions. Foodies will not be disappointed for sure. Our team recommends couples request window seating to enjoy the blissful ambience.

Osteria Orto – Request a table outside on the patio and enjoy a bottle of Chianti while dining on an authentic taste of Italy’s Adriatic Coast. Pastas are made from hand, every morning, and their menu changes seasonally to accentuate the day’s hand-chosen ingredients sourced locally. Located in Agoura Hills.

Chocolatine French Café – You’ll be transported to Paris when you visit this lovely quaint French bistro-style café. We recommend dropping by for coffee and a Chocolate Croissant after a mid-day date. Or come for breakfast and enjoy their delicious quiche du jour.

Activities

Gardens of the World – Sometimes you need to stop and smell the roses. Doing so can be part of a romantic date if you swing by this beautiful nature park in Thousand Oaks. Stroll hand in hand enjoying the array of flowers and plants, and bring a lunch to enjoy in the sycamore tree-shaded picnic area. It’s also a great place to pop any important questions…if you get the drift (wink, wink).

See a Play – Share your appreciation for the arts with your date by enjoying a play at Camarillo Skyway Playhouse. This more intimate playhouse is a rare gem, and although the building is humble, the talent of the performers is undeniable. Tickets are very reasonably priced, possibly leaving room in your budget for a post-show dessert.

Couple’s Massage – Share a tranquil massage with the one you love at the Four Seasons Spa in Westlake Village. It’s a luxurious treat, but you’re worth it, and so is your special someone.

Wine Tasting – You’ll find a lovely winery and tasting room where you’d least expect it when you visit Aldabella Winery in Westlake Village. Tucked into an industrial park, you’ll be pleasantly surprised when you enter their wonderfully appointed tasting room. Come early for tastings, or come later and check out live entertainment.

CMATO – Did you know that the California Museum of Art Thousand Oaks moved into a 5,000 square-foot space in the Oaks Mall? It’s true! Brush up on the exhibition on the museum’s website before taking your love to visit and impress with your knowledge of the art!

Whether you’re newly dating or married for years, enjoying a romantic date with your significant other is a great way to keep the flame burning! Thank you to our storage experts for these fab suggestions. We’d love to hear your ideas too!

from thousand oaks ca https://www.hollywoodstoragecenter.com/blog/romantic-dates-in-thousand-oaks-top-picks-from-your-storage-unit-experts/

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