#call the police on me if the police is Coyle

[makeucrawl]

can u do a short where Dr. Easterman punishes coyle for messing and breaking his office? Pls nsfw pls plsnksjakahks also bdsm and spankings plsss 🙏🙏 (what am I doing with my life. 😭)

((Teehee 🤭))

“BAD DOG”

Nothing could have prepared Easterman for his return to his office. It was usually in perfect shape, but now it looked as if a storm had swept through it. Books and files were strewn around the floor, and when he attempted to pick up some of them, he noticed dirty boot prints on the ground. Prints that he followed all the way behind his desk where the suspect was still lying on the ground, smoking his cigarettes and reading his journal.

"Boy, ya sure do complain a lot!" Coyle laughs, turning his gaze away from the journal to Easterman. Those dark, melancholy eyes were staring right at him. "OOOOooo how scary.." Coyle taunts while throwing the journal aside.

"Why did you ruin my office?" The doctor glares at him while his fists curl and uncurl at the thought of strangling the police officer.

“Why’re you upset? I know ya can just git someone to clean it up."

“God da-..Leland, that isn't the point. I've told you to before to quit tampering with my belongings…Sometimes you behave like a child.” Coyle sticks his tongue out and uses his foot to poke the doctor’s leg. “There ya go. Complainin’ like some woman!” He laughs then shouts in surprise as Easterman grabs his ankle and pulls him forward.

After turning the man over onto his stomach, Easterman ties Coyle's hands behind his back with his tie. "Just what in the hell do ya think yer doin?!” As the police officer shouts, the doctor grabs his dark graying hair and pulls him up. Then, using a firm hold, he drags him over his spread knees and placing him over his lap.

“Since you want to act like a brat..I’m going to beat you like one." Pulling Coyle's jeans down to his thighs, he says. “You’ll refer to me as sir and you’re going to count each blow.”

“Ya gotta be fuckin’ jokin’! Let me up-AH!” When Easterman's palm lands hard and heavy against Coyle's right cheek with a loud clap, causing the man to cry out in surprise.

“Can you count, Sergeant? I can’t hear you.”

“I-I’m not going to-“

SLAP

Coyle grunts his body jolting forward slightly from the blow. He was surprised at how hard the other man could hit.

“T-Two…sir..” Leland said breathlessly. The pain was hot and burning, but there was a pleasure in it too, and when the third blow came down, Coyle groaned,

“Three…three,sir..”

By the tenth, he felt as though his ass was burning red and bright, and there was a burning heat in more than his ass. His stomach felt tight, tight with tension, and his whole body was hot, his cock rubbing up against Hendrick’s thigh whenever his hand landed down

By the twentieth, the pain had on one hand subsided some, and on another was furthering with every strike, the skin burning so much it felt like it would peel, and yet there was such a pleasure in it that Coyle almost felt he could cry. He was digging his nails into his palms now as he whimpered, “T-Twenty-two, sir.”

“I hope you recall that this is a punishment, Leland,” said Easterman, landing a firm blow on the back of his thigh, just under the curve of his left cheek, and Coyle yelped like a kicked dog, gritting his teeth and trying to swallow the sound back.

“Yes! T-twenty-three, sir!”

“Someone might come in if they hear you being so loud.” Purred Easterman pleasantly, and his hand clapped down again, pushing the air out of Leland’s lungs and making his cock jump like a soldier told to stand to attention.

Coyle shuddered. “Twenty-four..s-sir,” he said breathing heavily.

“Good boy, Leland.”

On the thirtieth the cop was breathless and dizzy: by the thirty-fifth he was sobbing between blows, and Dr.Easterman was delivering each of them faster, louder.

When his punishment was at an end and Coyle had called out the final fortieth blow, he lay for a few minutes over Hendrick’s lap, trying not to sob too openly. He could barely move, trembling all over, cock hard and pressed against the doctor’s thigh, although he was far too tired to grind his hips.

Standing was difficult, trying to push himself up without use of his hands was a little awkward. When the cop stumbled, the doctor caught him by the plush, round curve of his hip, and instead of shoving him away, he pulled Coyle back into his lap.

Leland let out a reedy noise, but Easterman gripped him tighter, spreading his legs with his right hand so that Coyle was arranged and accessible. His ass burned in this position, sat in the doctor’s lap, and he stared down at his cock poking out from the thick hair between his legs, shirt stuck to his sweaty body.

Dr.Easterman’s other hand came up, sliding against the side of Coyle’s neck, cupping his jaw. The movement was tender, gentle, and the officer leaned his cheek into it, head spinning.

“..I won’t..I wont do it a-again..” Coyle hiccuped out. “M’ sorry…”

“I know you are, Leland.” said the doctor softly, and pressed his nose against the back of the cop’s neck, inhaling, and his lips brushed against it through the fabric of his shirt as his other hand undoes the binding on Coyle’s wrists.

It then moved to delicately grasp the officer’s throbbing erection, his thumb strummed over his the head as though he were plucking at a cello string. Coyle’s head jerks back as he moaned loudly, his hips pumping upward wanting more friction.

“Good boy,Just like that,” Easterman’s voice was soft and soothing now. He was squeezing harder, pumping faster, and when Coyle came it was a painfully pleasurable thing, made him bite down hard on his lip to keep from crying aloud, and Hendrick rocked him gently through it, hushing him softly.

Leland was breathing heavily, tears still stained on his cheeks, aware of his weight in Easterman’s lap, aware of the doctor’s arms holding him in place, aware of the sweat on his skin and the burn of his ass.

“Clean up my office, Leland.” The doctor mummers in his ear.

“Y-yes sir..”

[outlastrabbit]

Could I pretty please get some Coyle/Easterman~?

Particularly Coyle getting treated like a dog by the doctor~ 🦴

SWF and NSFW if possible 😩🫶

Coyle x Easterman Headcanons

SFW💕

“There’s my little police dog.”

Coyle absolutely hated Easterman calling him that. It was so disrespectful and degrading and humiliating and sexy—wait, no!

He used to want to rip the doctor limb from limb when he called him demeaning things or strapped him down on that table. But now? It kinda turned him on…

Their relationship was a constant battle for dominance. Easterman shoved Coyle roughly onto his desk, paperwork and pens spilling messily to the floor. He yanked on the other man’s tie and wrapped it around his hand, kissing him deeply.

Coyle growled in response, his hips immediately pressing up into the other’s. Easterman tugged harder on his tie, similar to an owner pulling on his dog’s leash.

The doctor smiled when the cop growled again, and then he almost squeaked himself when he felt a rough hand around his throat. Coyle tried to wrestle the man off him so he could be on top, but he got another harsh pull on his tie.

“Down, mutt.”

NSFW💕

Coyle went to shove the doctor off him, but he whined when he felt a hard cock grind into his own. He bucked his up into it like a whore, desperately trying to add friction. He panted like an animal, and then moaned when the other man’s tongue stuffed itself inside his mouth.

Easterman groaned as he tangled his tongue with Coyle’s, rubbing and almost groping his bubbling scars. He broke the kiss and the cop whined again like a pup.

“Let daddy fill you up.”

Easterman purred and panted softly in the man below’s ear. They groaned in unison as their clothed cocks rocked together slowly. He wanted to tease and make him beg, but the doctor’s pants were getting painfully tight.

Easterman unbuckled his belt and Coyle followed suit, scrambling and itching to pull his own off. The cop laid there a mess, his hat and sunglasses gone. He stared up at his owner lustfully, drooling and panting.

“Fill me, daddy… make me your mutt.”

The doctor had completely hypnotised him into a dumb, horny dog. His eyes rolled back and he gripped the edge of the desk tight as it rocked with him. Nails were digging hard into his bare hips as a cock was driven deep between his thighs.

Easterman’s dull eyes were closed and his brow furrowed as he focused on his own pleasure, thrusting roughly into the cop under him. As Coyle groaned, whined and whimpered, it only made him fuck him harsher.

[graboidmilk]

Teach the Police Dog

Pre-Relationship ChalcanCoyle under the cut

Synopsis: Chalcanthite and Coyle are the same in the worst way.

Please remain mindful of the tags

Maybe, if he bothered to, he could've guessed it. Hell, they were so similar, he probably would've guessed it, if given a bit more time... all of the signs were there- all of the pieces, rather. The pieces to the puzzle that was Leland Coyle. Staring at the film reel he himself had just installed, wide eyed and mind ticking like a clock, he's forced to come to a realization that he should've come to a long time ago.

Men like Coyle don't come from nowhere.

"You have to project danger." Of course you do. Chalcanthite wasn't fucking stupid- it was basic shit. If you're strong, the weak can't hurt you. If you're stronger than strong, then the strong can't hurt you. If you are the danger, then nothing can hurt you. Maybe that one should've tipped him off, first.

Brown eyes search the screen, the reagent's gaze erratic, like he doesn't believe what he's seeing as he watches Coyle's twitching form.

"The Law is the medicine for shame." Chalcanthite wonders what that says about the man he was staring at. His mind reels as his brain wracks with possibilities of what kinds of shame would lead to a man drowning himself in his own perceived medicine. He wonders what parts of himself that Coyle's 'medicine' has killed. He hears the door slam open, and he jerks his head to stare at the man that had just barged into the room.

"You only gotta let your guard down once." Chalcanthite's heart races as he watches Coyle take in the scene before him- as he watches the man realize just what it was that the hybrid was watching. Black ears flatted against his head as the officer screams something he can't understand in his own half-dissociative state, and he jumps the barrier between the projector and the seating area. His movements are jerky and clumsy, much more so than usual, as he tries to get away from the other man. The reagent feels bile in his throat as he tries to will away the tremors in his hands. He could never let his guard down- he could never get caught unaware.

They both knew that.

They both knew that.

"They'll hold you down and they'll fuck you dead."

They both knew that.

Heart thudding in his chest, he slams his fist onto the button to call for the transportation shuttle, and when Coyle's close enough- no fucking closer than he has to be- Chalcanthite stuns him. He stuns him, and then he stares, because he doesn't know what else to do. What else can you do ?

Brown eyes feel wide and dry, and Chalcanthite is sure that if he doesn't get himself together soon, he's going to cry, and he can not fucking let that happen. Not in front of him, of all fucking people.

He hears the shuttle grow closer, and Chalcanthite presses his back against the shuttle door in anxious anticipation. Everything hurts- his head hurts, his chest hurts, his stomach hurts- Everything is making too much sense and it's making him feel sick-

Chalcanthite lets out a gasp as he stumbles back into the shuttle just as Coyle comes back to himself, shaking his head free just as the door closes between them. All the dog can bring himself to do is think. All he can do is think, and think, and think-

"... Catch me sleeping. Some day."

Fears like that don't come from nowhere.

They both knew that.

[lilbluebastard]

Im bored once more and sense I already did coyle let’s do gooseberry (remember these are my headcannons/opinions tell me so I don’t accidentally upset someone

Warning (a bit of coyleberry mentioned)

Phylis has a very bad sweet tooth, to candy or pastries, she loves a good sweet apple pie and some lollipops

She also loves to play with dolls either with mannequins or those lil fucked up baby dolls, having little tea parties and even forcing the ex-pops in her trials to join her and futterman

(Despite it all being in her head) she knows that deep down in his cold black heart, Dr daddy still loves his baby Phylis

She secretly has drawing of the female/male regents she has a crush on and a bunch of that creep Franco and Coyle….mostly Coyle

She also falls in love with anyone who gives her attention 💙

Phylis plays dress up and likes to try on new clothes and things,

When it comes to sleeping she’s a very quiet sleeper but mostly has nightmares of the “boring hospital” but she sleep with the very old goose puppet she had sense she was a kid, it helps her sleep sometimes

She sometimes as a side hobby makes more puppets and gives them to ex-pops and guards/reagents as gifts

Phylis is sweet heart if you listen, sometimes she’ll spare you….but that’s rare

_________________

More headcannons for Leland Coyle (like them or not it’s alright)

Leland would get offended if you called him a pervert or a creep, hed say “he’s the law and he’s only giving you justice” when in reality his justice equals (to sex , torture, sadistic kinks and cumming on mannequins) or hed just get turned on and punish you for disrespecting him

Coyles not a romantic type….yes he’s been married but with how each of his wives ended up dead…it’s clear he’s angry about it, not to mention in prime time when seeing gooseberry he tries to make a point by saying “that’s why he killed all those wives of his” because gooseberry is her own boss and isnt submissive and obedient to him

Leland is a horrible person we all know that but he will have his moments of vulnerability (seen in the tape of teach the police officer) he cries either about his past or things he’s fines unfair so in my opinion he’s a crybaby, like him sounding hurt, almost sad when he didn’t get a gun but Franco could have one.

Coyles more into woman sometimes checking out the female grunts and big grunts, pouncers and even female reagents and he is creepy about it

And when is comes to men, despite wanting them ti bow to his every will, he’s jealous of the male big grunts/berserkers intimidating height, I believe that the smaller grunts are to scared to approach him, knowing what he can and will do, coyle is ruthless and they know that, as for the people who are in the trials (especially in kill the snitch, vindicate the guilty, tilt the scales of justice and etc) those people talk about Coyle a lot which I’m guessing there his victims broken and hurt to his liking, coyles ruthless and harsh…..some even sometimes warn you (one told me “to be careful before I get hurt or caught, something like that)

Maybe I’ll come up with more idk lol

[abigailthedreamer]

Prime asset lines about my S/I. (Prime Time)

Mother Gooseberry:

“Doctor Daddy, Would Dr Foster really help us? She always calls me and the children her ‘Patients’”

Flutterman: “As IF! She’s just as bad as the rest of the loony’s here.”

“Doctor Foster! Please keep your equipment away from the children, some of it looks awfully sharp.”

Flutterman: “Honestly, So long as she keeps that greasy fuckin’ pig away from ya, I don’t care what she does.”

“Mmmm…I think i’ll ask if she wants help with the Police Officer.”

Flutterman: “OH FOR FU-“

“The way she talks about that ‘Eddie’ fellow, Who wouldn’t want to crawl under the skin of the one they care for? Ahhh, young Love!”

“It’s awfully strange how clingy the Policeman gets with Dr Foster, he had such a vacant expression on his face while he had her in his lap.”

Franco Barbi:

“Ohohohoho, look at the body on her! She’d ask me to jump i’d ask how damn high!”

“Theres somethin in that damn whistle of hers, makes me wanna act like a damn dog!”

“A sexy mama like her, course she gotta boyfriend. a-A HUSBAND!? Oh-oh he’s dead? Thank FUCK-“

“She’s rippin’ out her patient’s teeth!? Ohoho, more of an excuse to see her at work.”

“The fuck does that horny cop have that i don’t eh doc? He goes soft easy to ya treatments? Oh i can go soft for ya, i can be your lil doormat if ya so asked~”

Leland Coyle:

“Looks like you needed some rehabilitatin’ eh doc? Big ole dog collar ya got there, why dontcha bark for me pup?”

“P-Psycho…..sssssexy sonavabitch!”

“Fuck, dunno what she does to me but i hate that i’m into it.”

“Eddie Gluskin eh? So doc had a husband? Sucks to be him then- HAHA!”

“ ‘All Cops Are Bastards’, Eh? That’s not what she thinks when we’re Alone. Just a little bit of…Correctional work~”

[thesimonthedevious]

Electric Touch

lilli has a bad run in with reagents and shes picking glass out from her forehead. coyle offers to help.

Prime Asset OC x Coyle

"Fuck off."

She sits on the crate by the dead generator at the back of the police station. Coyle's found her easy enough on his rounds, mostly when he heard the violent scuffle - a broken window and a trail of blood, but he doesn't give chase for once. "That mouth o'yours will getcha in trouble, pretty lady." A hand on his hip, thumb hooked on his belt loop, he grins at her. She looks pitiful. Not enough sleep, he thinks - women can get tetchy if they don't get their shuteye. She's digging at the glass shards from a shattered bottle from her forehead, but the bloodied stumps she calls her fingers can't reach. No nails, no real drip. If anything she's digging it in. "Shove your baton up your dickhole, Leland."

He doesn't hit her, which is something. He leans back - looking for any reagents down the hall - before looking back at her. "You're fuckin' it up. Let me do it." she knows he's serious when he hooks the baton back on its harness. Finally Lilliana looks up at him, contempt in her tired eyes. Coyle tilts his head, and she can see his just past the rim. He bats her hand away from her head, holding her wrist while his ungloved fingers dig into her forehead. She hisses in pain, as he pushes against her before digging it out - the shard is huge. "Damn, you can take a lot." he remarks. Vile, but Lilliana's dry lips twist into a smile, and uses her own free hand to tug him down to her height by the strap of his battery. The faulty, exposed wires sting her skin.

"Want to see how true that is?" it actually isn't, but that doesn't stop Lilliana from lying just to get a rise out of him. Coyle sneers as she yanks on him, his cap almost coming off his head completely as his forehead presses against hers. He can't allow her to be in charge, or feel in charge, so he takes her by the bloodied shirt and hauls her against the generator, slamming her back into it.

"If I wanted to, I'd have found out a long time ago." he snarls, hot breath against her lips. There's something hollow in his words. Maybe because Lilliana doesn't take anything he says as a pure threat and he knows that. It's why he likes talking to her (and why he hates her). Her hand travels down from his jacket to between his worn pants, gripping through the thick fabric, and there's a rumble from deep within his chest. The gnarled sound makes Lilliana lick her lips with her ragged and ulcer-ridden tongue.

"Go on then, Big Boy." it's easy to feel his excitement... Perhaps also fueled by rage, but she'll take what she can get from him. Anything. There's something enragingly captivating about Leland - she wants his attention, good or bad. She wants to be the only thing he sees. "Mmm," he hums, watching her, leaning in to the crook of her neck. She smells of decay and mildew. But it doesn't stop his lips from peppering quick, sharp kisses along her jaw until he gets to hers. "It ain't half as fun..."

"Catch me off guard next time."

Coyle chuckles. He's keeping that in the back of his mind, she knows, as he kisses her deeply, harshly, violently. Suffocating. She wouldn't demand anything less.

[itsrattysworld]

Without Prejudice Mervelee Myers Record Kevin Donavan Murray In Local Government Election As JLP Councillor For Friendship Division ASHTER NEMBHARD Campaign 1976 June O'Sullivan Advisor To Mayor Of London Ofsted Richard Harty Panic Called Mobile 27/9/21 Barclays Stole Money In Branch GP Surgery Failed To Fill Form UEL Correctly Oxeyes Guy Lawfull Mark Upton Scam Me Out Of MyVision Website Created Scratch Social Media Cyberbullying Haters Harvest Intellectual Property Images Copyright CPPDP Endorse Professors Chris Pascal Tony Bertram LinkedIn 18 Facebook Pages YouTube Strike Channels Google Suspensions Account Housing For Women Account For Mimi Owusu 12 Pages Witness Statement After She Scam Me £10,000.00 2 Transfers Nationwide To Santander FOS Refuse To Act Emma Martin-Hamilton Action Fraud Like Met Police Not Fit For Purpose My Father Was Rob At Frome When COOP Introduce By Horace Levy Established Brother Worked With Him Uncle Terah Murdered For Job Bernard Lodge I Will Show World Why I Was Face Windrush 70 Online Advocating For Worthy Causes Derek Draper By Blue I Will Not Be Gag Am Composer Brixton Market Tony Cealy Must Examine Why He Is Proud Saying He Did Not Visit His Sister Sectioned Using It To Get Sympathy Neil Coyle Did With Mum's Mental Health 9/2/24

Without Prejudice Mervelee Myers Colonisation In Reverse Starts With Sharing Ms Presley’s Stories Housing For Women Supported By HMCTS HOS Government Agency Failure To Act About Concerns Of Tenants I Was Rescued 2000 From Domestic Violence Homelessness Endured 23 Years Hate Crimes By Deborah Agnes Gilchrist Manage To Keep Peace Until Samantha Gibbs Join HOS Coerce Neighbour To Target Me Customer…

[thatonesquintern13]

episode six - how to save a life:

• OKAY EPISODE TITLE WAS SPECIFICALLY FOR ME I THINK !!!!

• opening right where we left off thank god

• suzanna also thinks it was coyle’s doing!!

• “it was one thing to include my father, but jacob?” include them in what!

• “i might not have been entirely honest about the situation with jacob” no kidding dude he’s going to be EXECUTED 🤧

• okay. coyle told jacob he could get him back to port haven if he stole some of the ~already illegal~ rum and sold it to the brits. and jacob got caught i guess

• and suzanna knew that coyle was shady but didn’t know he’d involved jacob

• to be fair katherine, i’m not sure why you trusted him in the first place

• and now she’s just banging on the prison doors

• taken directly to The Crown !?! 😟

• katzanna crumbs 🤭

• askdhajdh these two can not keep the secret of time travel a SECRET

• but suzanna is right. now katherine knows exactly where to look. unfortunately, that is in the execution book kacey was reading in the last ep 😭😭😭

• - present day -

• dell i’ve not forgiven you 🫵🏽🤨

• a landline???

• “this is his mother. was.” WHOMST IS CALLING ABOUT JACOB???

• the police?? found something???

• i mean probably not gonna amount to anything given the 1814 of it all buttttt that’s worse right? bc if it’s not jacob then… 🫣

• also don’t call dell and get her all worked up about it until you know!

• oh school started

• “is it possible to just knock like a normal person?” not likely elliot, sorry

• “do you have another brilliant matchmaking plan that you’re willing to share with me? sorry your last one was a total failure. also please don’t to that again, thanks.” hey! it did work! for like two seconds, but still

• oh this shot of dell at the table is beautiful.

• sad colton flashback ):

• “a landry never gives up hope” 😪

• alice why would we tell dell that is the same as the police calling

• how are they both meeting kat at the herald when they HAVE SCHOOL

• the execution book🫣

• okay i feel like jacob isn’t gonna be in there but i am worried suzanna will be in there

• i’ll throw up

• see, no jacob! and also no suzanna (for now)

• yeah kat didn’t really think she’d be going back to 1814 when she stole byron new guy’s job

• where is he btw

• you can’t time travel AND run a newspaper everybody knows this

• so now not only were they late to school to talk to kat, but they’re also skipping out so they can publish her paper too 😭

• “oof you look like something the cat drug in” dell once again dragging kat for filth 🥴

• i know whyyy they can’t tell dell about the pond but i just think a lot of their conflict would be resolved if she knew where they were half the time

• landry women are not very good at processing grief !!

• a polaroid of the red converse!

• oooh and a key!!!

• with a goodwin crest!!

• kat found the key in jacob’s thingssss

• this is going to be another cycle of the key was there bc kat was there and kat was there bc the key was there isn’t it

• and the british soldiers weren’t even british!

• oh we think it’s a little double crossed situation

• (i also forgot that the reason we saw that scene with coyle and cyrus was bc kat was there lol)

• her theory makes sense but it still doesn’t really explain why cyrus would want to take jacob.

• UNLESS cyrus doesn’t know that coyle is behind the rum selling and he thinks jacob did that on his own….

• “yes, the one who shot me” 😭

• howwww can kat justify leaving right now!! she knows time works different for the pond. it will take her back to when she needs to be, i think staying and comforting dell for one day would be okay. plus putting it all on alice?? not cool

• kat and alice using the same language about jacob (“we both know it’s not him”) and kat and dell using the same language about the phone calls (“they’re useless”) 🤌🏽

• kat and dell hug and i love yous!!! it’s not a fix but it’s progress!!

• but dell also can’t believe she is “going to work” right now

• - 1814 -

• see it’s only been like. 6 hours since they took jacob

• oh suddenly coyle knows it was goodwin who took jacob🤨

• katherine it’s important to remember that coyle WILL shoot you

• but keep yelling at him it’s what he deserves

• a double double cross!?

• “he’ll be under lock and key” “you mean a key like this?” 😏

• - present day -

• now alice is leaving???

• dell it literally is not okay. tell these girls what you want, what you NEED! you don’t have to do this alone 😭

• a dell flashback

• do we think dell kept the landline because of the jacob phone calls ):

• oh! a psychic! she says she’s seen jacob??

• i believe her.

• colton is yelling

• she saw jacob in the pond! calling dell’s name 🥺😭

• i feel like this is going to be a surprise tool that’s going to help us later

• pete’a the horse is he’a. unfortunately so is sam

• “what, did you bewitch him?” WITCH👀

• he’s TAKING the colton horse????

• if the horse doesn’t want to go, the horse doesn’t want to go 😤

• never been more convinced that the horse is colton

• oh no another phone call 😰

• oh god it was just a TELEMARKETER

• dell i know i just told you to share your feelings but now i’m retracting that bc i don’t want sam knowing about you 😤

• the horse is staying!!! let’s gooo

• “if you ever need me, i’ll be here” no thx 🫶🏽😁

• don’t invite him IN

• ugh

• - 1814 -

• suzanna i love that you have the ability to drug people in 1814. girlboss

• it scratches something in my brain every time katherine says suzanna’s name.

• to be fair, katherine probably has the most knowledge of the goodwin estate considering she’s been in there the most. and she also! has the key!

• idk coyle. goodwin’s men aren’t exactly your besties right now??

• suzanna nooo you can’t sacrifice yourself

• “i may have refused cyrus, but he won’t refuse me.” oh?

• BETROTHED?! to cyrus??

• oh god she was a DEAL MADE with cyrus by her fatherrr

• she’s kinda disney princessing it up

• wait is this why the augustines aren’t represented in the founding families?!

• oh! she’s not even marrying jacob for love! she’s marrying him for convenience also!

• katzanna has never been so back

• jacob is marrying her so cyrus can’t retaliate against her. he’s protecting her!

• that’s why cyrus captured jacob!

• “he’d recognize you as a decoy. you’d be run out of town, or worse!” exactly what i’ve been worried about this whole time

• i think i see a surprise tool in the background here

• teamwork makes the dream work

• hey! i i was right! the surprise tool

• am i supposed to know who this wig belongs to / why there’s a wig there?

• dresses similar to who? and what does suzanna mean ‘they’re not exactly dresses’?

• - present day -

• oh god not adobe indesign 😭 a personal jumpscare

• “i don’t know how this layout program actually works” same elliot that’s how i felt every time i had to use it

• and i also had to google how to use it every time. no shame brotha

• ohh a newspaper

• (in the herald, yeah likely place for it to be)

• a jacob write up ):

• “jacob landry has been gone as long as he was with us” 😔

• and a sticky note.

• on an article evelyn goodwin wrote about the youths of port haven

• ohhoohoo we’re getting to the lingermore incident

• elliot you have to work on not being suspicious

• is alice gonna go back to 2007??? bc she would have like… born by then wouldn’t she???

• maybe she was born in 2008

• yeah she gonna take that newspaper with her

• AH forgot about sam

• okay byeeee

• noo another phone call flashback ):

• *two wine glasses* “oh. sam dropped by. he’s gonna leave stormy here.” “that’s good. you love that horse” hehe that’s so unintentionally backhanded i love it 🤪

• “there’s not an answer to what happened to my boy, and there will always be questions” oh delly if only you knew how hard kat was working to get you those answers!!

• “why don’t you get rid of the phone?” “no. no, honey we can’t do that. […] we kept it because it’s the only number that jacob knew” oh 🥺🥺🥺 that’s worse than what i thought 😭

• -1814 -

• the goodwin estate 👀

• quien es?? that’s a very modern looking man

• see i can’t trust coyle bc he is very good at fooling these guys into thinking he didn’t know jacob was selling the rum.

• (sidebar: the actress who plays suzanna reminds me of rachel zegler.)

• the plan is lowkey planning??

• oooh the candle in the window love that

• white witch katherine!!!

• i know it’s likely jacob is in the basement but i still don’t trust coyle idk

• cyrus goodwin is an ugly man how did he think he could pull suzanna

• “a toast, to what should be an excellent night” as he drinks the poison rum yup yup🤌🏽

• katherine in the tunnelssss

• what kind of prison would be unlocked katherine that’s the whole reason you’re there with the key

• oh god she’s already been caught. the costume didn’t work for even one second

• SUZANNA

• “this isn’t part of the plan?” “you’re welcome. you would be dead without me” ROMANCE

• “how did you even find me?” “i know these tunnels like the back of my hand” don’t wanna think about why suzanna would know the tunnels ):

• oh nvm it’s bc her father was a smuggler with thomas. i forgot about that again

• coyle where are you goingggg you’re supposed to stay with the passed out men to keep an eye outttt can’t trust him

• oh he’s not leaving.

• oh god cyrus woke up

• suzanna you knew this was a possibility 😭

• ooh are they going to start the legend of the white witch RIGHT NOW????

• they are!!!!!

• girls are so smart.

• when in doubt just manipulate and gaslight them into thinking you’re a witch. works every time.

• but it’s also funny bc suzanna and katherine… don’t look that much alike?? they’re just wearing the same dress??

• i mean he was poisoned so i guess

• “be still, witch!” *leo dicaprio point meme*

• and then they just walk away like it was nothing

• SEE a locked door

• look at that the key worked

• oh no

• jacob is to’ up 🤧

• but alive

• - present day -

• aww dell is asleep with the little teddy bear

• another phone call 🙃

• “it’s not jacob” i mean we knew but 😔

• ughh dell reliving the terrible feelings of those first phone calls and how she treated kat. she needs kat to be here right now!! there needs to be forgiveness and closure there!!

• “please don’t leave me” 🥺

• alice you better stay home ALL DAY TODAY

• - 1814 -

• okay jacob you can wake up nowwww

• despite suzanna marrying jacob for his protection, there is love there. you can tell

• “he has to see me. that way he knows that neither of you, especially suzanna, had anything to do with this.” i thought it was augustines always help landrys but idk guys i also think landrys always help augustines!!!!

• also suzanna and katherine communicating with just a look. mmhmm mhmm

• we’re about to get the series opener / season 1 finale running through the woods scene!!!!

• okay white witch katherine!!! slayyyy 🤌🏽 with the fire?? are you kidding me

• “you are not suzanna.” yes that’s obvious is suzanna the only woman these people know?

• “you stole suzanna’s face, didn’t you?” once again theyyyy do not look alike.

• “you’re a witch!” *olivia wilde nodding.gif*

• HERE IT IS! THE SCENE!

• oh coyle’s there helping her get away!!

• she dropped the key!!!

• THE KEY IS THERE BC KATHERINE WAS THERE BC THE KEY WAS THERE !!!!

• what happened will always happen!!!

• the disappearing into the pond isn’t really helping the witch thing

• and that key just sat there for 185 years? okay.

• baby jacob! the polaroid! (beautiful shot once again props to the director)

• fin.

📺: the way home - season two

season one recap 🩵

episode one - the space between:

• watching the ‘previously on’ like i didn’t just spend the week recapping it

• thought this was jacob and dell but it’s just another little boy and older lady

• “it will always take you where you need to go.” 👀

• picking up where season one left off. kat and dell were literally JUST healing and now where back to murder boarding

• oh we’re just immediately jumping into the FROZEN pond

• it didn’t work!

• kat you know that’s not how it works !! just get out before you freeze!!!

• oh god now alice is in the pond

• and YEAH we’re BENEATH THE ICE

• ALICE

• KAT DONT YOU KNOW CPR

• CHEST COMPRESSIONS

• oh god alice is back okay

• so much just happened oh my god

• a note for kat on elliot’s door ):

• me and elliot squabbin the next time i see him 😤

• (did anyone else’s school use the word squab around like 2015?? 2016??)

• “if i’ve learned anything these last few months it’s the worst thing to waste is time.” i gUESS!

• now how can a dog time travel 😭 the pond is SICK for that

• “the pond is done with us, allie. we have to be done with it.” we’ll see

• they’re making a pact to stay in the present

• time jump! seven months laterrrr

• hello?? DECODE PARAMORE?!?!

• and kat is jogging through the woods like is this twilight???

• passed elliot’s (still empty) house. hayley williams is right, how did we get here 😭

• ofc kat is listening to decode she’s an emo millennial

• if you think about it this kinda is like twilight. she’s gonna jump off a cliff next probably

• dell landry: bee keeping age!!!

• where’d the horse come from? 🤨

• “hey, boy. who are you?” oh so neither of us know okay

• oh! it’s the last day of school!

• not spencer from school pulling up

• and maybe zoe from school? hard to say

• alice is leaving!? oh going to the states with brady

• “that’s the thing about shared custody, eventually you have to share.” rip /:

• ugh r*chel mention

• “i am screening your next guy! these last two, they’ve been so very disappointing.” LAST TWO!?

• oh she meant brady and elliot 😂

• “brady only disappointed in the later years. we don’t.. we don’t talk about elliot.” yeah still too soon formerly nemesis monica

• lol so new guy leaves (suspiciously 🤨) and kat is like “okay fiiine i’ll take over the herald and hire myself back!! if i must!!!”

• and good for her!

• oh someone’s died 😰

• evelyn goodwin??

• oldest member of the most prestigious (and wealthiest) family in port haven. an institution, dell says!

• linger?more?

• oh elliot has the AUDACITY to send post cards 😤

• yeah, alice you’re right to roll your eyes at him!!

• we’re getting so much landry lore!

• but also more evidence for my jacob is his own ancestor theory

• the landrys were a founding family of port haven with the aforementioned goodwins

• dell talking about HAPPY MEMORIES OF COLTON!!!! 🥹

• we’re throwing a summer partyyyy

• landry ladies kitchen dancing 🥹

• ruined! by brady calling 😤

• oh so kat and alice are on the same wavelength as me. no wonder kat knows so much about her great great whoevers

• they stuck to their word, no pond!

• “yeah, well. elliot’s not around anymore to give us those pearls of wisdom.” “when are you gonna let that go?” no, no. hold that grudge, alice.

• “elliot promised that he would always be there to help, and when we needed him the most […], he bails.” just like the avatar 😪

• can’t help but notice the herald is brighter now that new guy is gone.

• now i know brady isn’t trying to blame KAT for the shared custody thing

• are we ever gonna be introduced to rachel bc now it’s getting suspicious

• “alice is no distraction, she’s the glue” she really is huh 😭

• ooooh evelyn goodwin put the herald in her will???

• kat is going to ✨lingermore✨

• (i’m guess that’s the goodwin estate?)

• “no wonder you turned the herald into a weekly, you’re always here” okay dell kinda ate with that one 😭

• “i’m going up the hill” me: kate bush?

•but also: *eerie music change* “i’m going with you.”

• okay now i’m scared of lingermore

• oh something has Happened here…

• sorry, evelyn saved everything to open a museum and her son was just like “eh oh well. gonna sell.” ??? hate men.

• oooh but now the herald gets it all!!

• now kat has the entire history of port haven at her fingertips! finding jacob has literally never been easier.

• oh something Sinister has Happened here… 😰

• alice! step away from that pond! you promised your mother!!

• oh she’s just coming to say goodbye ):

• girl back up that’s literally how you fell in the first time!!

• oh it’s LITERALLY how she fell in the first time? the bracelet hello???

• i do enjoy that when i gasp now it’s actually stuff i am surprised about

• is dell gonna have flashbacks of her own of this place now?

• she’s just sad about evelyn ):

• you know. this was kinda how dell’s future was looking before kat and alice showed up…

• yeah how is kat supposed to get all these boxes back to the herald

• UM

• why’s this portrait look just like kat 😀

• “MY KATHERINE, 1814” HELLO

• what did evelyn know 👀

• aww the jewelry dish

• we are immediately back to kat and alice keeping secrets from each other 🫠

• she’s a runna she’s a track star 🏃🏻‍♀️

• oh! note’s gone from the door! is elliot back???

• omg he’s back

• “well kat landry!” “oh… elliot augustine…” okayyyy

•god, kat might as well have just said “you look hot” that would’ve been less embarrassing 😭

• (and he does, she was right.)

• why is elliot being weird

• wait. just realized this man LEFT in the MIDDLE OF THE SCHOOL YEAR??? elliot there’s a TEACHER SHORT- wait they’re canadian…. is there a canadian teacher shortage??

• um but still. in the middle of the year, dawg??

• okay elliot when have you ever “imposed” on the landrys be so for real

• omg kat get up girl you are not playing it cool rn

• “i will never understand why she took elliot’s travels so hard” bc they’re besties??? (also bc that’s her stepdad but we apparently are keeping that a secret)

• dell didn’t notice that kat and alice were literally time traveling but she DID clock kat and elliot and that is, once again, so southern of her.

• “i haven’t seen you wear the bracelet in forever! i was beginning to think you lost it.” hehe about that…

• no actually WHY is elliot so… off i’m starting to not trust this… like go back to the caribbean if you’re gonna be like this

• “somebody had a glow up.” lmao rita!!

• “looks like elliot had what the kids call a hot boy summer” RITA!!!

• oh so alice didn’t know about katelliot and is really just mad bc elliot is her bestie!!!

• “and besides, there is no us, really. right?” ELLIOT YOU’RE THE BIGGEST DUMB DUMB THERE IS

• fumbled the bag

• he didn’t even say GOODBYE!? god what is with these men

• “great party, dell.” 😭😂

• “you better get out there and get a lobster before rita pilfers them all” lol okay great callback

• “[the farm] will always be here waiting for you.” 🥹

• fireworks for colton 😭😭😭😭

• flashbacks for everyone 🥺

• i miss colton landry

• ugh how long are kat and elliot going to pretend they don’t love each other

• alice is connecting dots

• colton and baby elliot 🥺 the club house is always there for him to have a space 😭

• “don’t waste any time, kid. because it’s never guaranteed.” and elliot thought that was a joke?? i-

• *branch snaps* “did you hear that?” WHO CAME BACK 🫵🏽

• “i saw that look between you and elliot. are you two together?” alice you’re far too late

• alice you didn’t ruin anything, sweetie 😭

• kinda rude that i grew up an hour from the beach and never went to a summer bonfire beach party in high school. (i didn’t go to parties in hs who am i kidding)

• oh! we’re being haunted by our past! cool.

• an elliot mixtape!!! IN THE CLUBHOUSE

• aww elliot’s here.

• with a STRONG candian ‘sorry’

• oh they met alice after the last summer cookout… interesting

• i thought “traveling” was a euphemism. but he actually meant time traveling lol

• “i’m sorry i didn’t say goodbye. i just knew if i saw you, i wouldn’t go.” OKAY AND WOULD THAT HAVE BEEN SO BAD

• just sitting on the bed nothing crazy

• SCREAMING !!!!!

• grey’s anatomy training 😏

•making out with all for you playing in the background. gonna cry actually.

• elliot apologizing right away 😭 okay there’s the awkward guy i missed

• “i’m not your problem anymore” WHY WOULD SHE SAY THATTTTT

• ALEXA, PLAY EXHILE BY TAYLOR SWIFT

• the sad part is, they could just go right back to how they were. like elliot is so willing to be that sounding board for kat.

• but. he blew it. super hard. complete buffoonery.

• “welcome home.” damn she’s cold

• baby nick!!!

• ugh elliot was gonna make his move RIGHT before kat met brady 😭

• so i guess spencer from school and zoe from school are??? no more???

• alice is still hung up on nick 😭 girl he’s old let it gooo

• why are they making her sing rn

• now look you’ve made her get stage fright again. (it’s definitely not the ghosts of her mother’s past coming to haunt her…)

• kat and dell finally getting the mother daughter relationship they deserve??

• is the house called lingmore or lingermore… i need to look this up

• the subtitles are telling me lingermore. dell’s accent is just thick lmao

• oh! see, dell thought evelyn reminded her of herself too.

• “i wanna build back our relationship. i wanna get to know you again.” yup yup yup 🥹

• kat has also noticed that dell is talking about colton and jacob in a positive light now

• “no more regrets, only resets” dell would kill on facebook

• ugh, i know Something is going to happen and it’s gonna ruin everything we accomplished in this scene

• um why are we back at the “did you hear that” scene 😰

• WHO IS THAT!?!?? 🫵🏽

• colton???? new guy?????? JACOB!?!?!?

• oh my god

• the blurry polaroid!!

• alice and kat sharing their secrets! season of healing!

• kat don’t let her manipulate you like this!

• okay or do. whatever.

• wait elliot send that text 😭 you gotta be the one to fix this, dude.

• neighbor!? who is this man???

• they better not be trying to give dell another love interest 😤

• could be elliot’s dad tho? but i doubt it

• suspicious buyer of the neighboring farm????

• the new buyer isn’t going to lease the fields sooo what does that mean 😅

• dell is going to be losing money?

• AND WHOSE HORSE IS THIS

• don’t tell me that horse jumped in the pond 🤧

• mother daughter pond jump 🤪

• “it’ll take us where we need to go” what could go wrong! 😀

• BABY ELLIOT!?

• has present elliot been LYING to present kat this whole time??????

• if i got sent to 1814- hold up who is that

• not the gun

• HELLO

• grey’s anatomy training (dying in a horrific way)

• um. okay 😀

fin.

[f0ntainefuturistics]

I beta tested the outlast trials, here’s what it was like:

So I was lucky enough to to be apart of the closed beta test for the outlast trials the day testing dropped after waiting since the gamescom beta announcement, as someone who has been a fan of outlast since the launch of the first game all the way back in 2013 this was a huge honour and I’m glad to say that I participated.

Obviously with any beta test there was bugs, what I didn’t expect was there to be issues with accessing the game itself, however this was easily fixed by changing a setting in the game launch options. I expect that this will be fixed on launch.

The opening cutscene for the game is absolutely brilliant, typical gore and uneasy feelings I’ve come to expect from the series. Cant wait to see it again upon launch! I’ll link it here for those that want to see it before the game comes out.

After the opening cutscene you get to customise your character, don’t worry about the choices you make being permanent as you can always change it in your character’s room just by going to the mirror. Room customisation is also a unique aspect of the game, I enjoyed having my own personalised ‘hub’ to wake up in every time I booted up the game. You can choose the wallpaper, floor and bedsheets as well as a wide variety of items and posters for your room

The tutorial is far more akin to classic outlast than the rest of the game, it’s single player and obviously walks you through the basic mechanics of the game all while introducing the story.

The opening of the tutorial (past the generic press shift to run, space to jump, etc parts) sees your reagent/patient/character whatever you’d like to call them undergo reconditioning, going through different aspects of the stereotypical early 20th century American lifestyle (more so referring to discipline, church, etc.) these are false memories that murkoff is feeding to the player’s character as apart of the ‘therapy’. The introduction of Mother Gooseberry and Dr Futterman is also shown off here as you go to the upper floor of the house and learn that you must destroy any evidence of your previous life so that you, the player, may create your new one with murkoff, all while avoiding mother and many other NPCs.

After the tutorial, seeing other players walk around the facility took a while to get used to but it’s quite fun to watch other players jump about and arm wrestle. Arm wrestling is a really fun mechanic and I had the joy of arm wrestling with a couple red barrels staff members- really wish there was some form of leaderboard for it

The only trial available was Snitches Get Stitches, which is a Coyle/Police Station centric level. I won’t go too much into the plot of the trial since my memory’s failing me with certain aspects but it was extremely fun. Trials can be played alone or in teams of 2, 3, or 4 I’d recommend playing as a team as certain parts of the level get significantly harder when playing alone but it would be enjoyable those who want a challenge.

For those worried that trials will be a dead by daylight knockoff: don’t worry, there’s a lot more to the trials than there is in DBD. There’s several enemies and the objectives are not as simple as doing five gens and escaping (for example in SGS, your main objective is to find the snitch and kill him all while avoiding Coyle and whoever else is lurking around the station)

The ‘combat’ in trials is more of a stun system rather than actually fighting the enemies which is something I was extremely worried about going into this game.

Trials is definitely the most unique outlast title to date, it was an unexpected change but my initial harsh criticisms of the game have been proven wrong and I’m glad!

If you’ve read this far, thank you! There’s definitely things I’m missing from this post and I’m sorry for that- it’s been a while since the beta so my memory’s lacking a bit.

[adamwatchesmovies]

Going Postal (2010)

I’m certain that as a book, Going Postal worked fabulously. As a made-for-TV movie, I’ll also grant it that it looks splendid and works… until the second half, where the loony developments, over-the-top characters, and illogical actions make it a film that's hard to digest. Or maybe I'm wrong. Something about it makes me want to give it a closer look...

Set in a fantasy world containing werewolves, golems, wizards, and more, Moist von Lipwig (Richard Coyle) is a con artist by trade. After being apprehended by the authorities, he is sentenced to re-establish the capitol’s post office - or die. Moist discovers that the snail mail’s competitor - a system of towers that convey messages using light - isn't going to let this "new" competitor start easy.

The ways Moist finds to make the post office relevant are a lot of fun. He revolutionizes the program through a series of clever inventions. I'd tell you what they are, but that would be spoiling the best parts of the film. With him being forced to work with a crew of bizarre characters, there are many laughs throughout. The weirdest and funniest of which is Mr. Pump, a cool-looking clay man voiced by Nicholas Farrell.

The problems with Going Postal begin in its second half. The more logic you apply to this film, the less it makes sense. This is a classic John Henry story. The post office is antiquated but nonetheless determined to take on modern technology. The system of lights and mirrors is this universe’s equivalent to email or the telephone. That’s where the film's seams unravel. There are a few reasons to choose printed messages instead of the alternatives and “Going Postal” never uses these to sell you on Moist’s plight. Instead, it resorts to making the villain of the film, Reacher Gilt (David Suchet) the dimmest, most transparently evil, and most one-dimensional baddie you could write. That sort of choice can work when the film is self-aware. An obvious resolution that's missed during the conclusion, the kind that could’ve allowed our heroes to triumph in their own way, tells me it's just a blunder, not a deliberate choice.

I could get over the conclusion and logical inconsistencies but they're simply the final nails in the coffin. On top of these, there's the unconvincing romance, the truly idiotic behavior by the villains (many of which create plot holes), the characters that come out of nowhere, the others that disappear from the film midway through with no explanation. I'd forgive them but the film lasts a whopping 3 hrs +. I know it aired in two parts originally but you won’t know that if you buy the DVD. There's no reason for that excessive a running time and that sloppy ending. Apparently, there are no police in this world because when our heroes find conclusive evidence that would get anyone arrested and hung by the neck until dead, they just keep it to themselves.

If you have read Terry Pratchet’s Going Postal this miniseries/movie is for you. You’ll be delighted to see the characters brought to life and enjoy all the little references to Pratchett's other works. If you haven’t, I don’t know how accessible this piece is. Despite this, I’m not going to call it bad. I get the feeling that this is the sort of film that grows on you. (On DVD, November 4, 2016)

[reds-self-ships]

🔎 The Adventure of the Detection Club

Chapter 7: The Dance of Deduction – START

Table of Contents & Trigger Warnings

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Reminder that I'm still considering starting up a tag list for these fic parts (+ future fics too)

THE GREAT DEDUCTION ~ The Game is Afoot! ~

DEDUCTION #1: Why is this man here?

Sholmes snapped his fingers and pointed to Conan Doyle, who seemed to be taken aback in shock.

“Mr. Conan Doyle,” said Sholmes. “There is a clear reason why you have entered this crime scene, despite the very high level of a police presence.”

“Gack!” choked Conan Doyle in response, immediately turning his head to look towards…

“Yes, that desk over there. And the reason why you wish to access that desk is because…it’s proof of your crime, thanks to that red splodge on the desk!”

With that, Conan Doyle’s expression immediately changed to that of a raised eyebrow, one enormous hand stroking his chin and the other stroking his moustache as though his very life depended on it.

“Yes, you, Mr. Whoever-you-are—!”

“—Conan Doyle!”

“—Yes, whoever you are, you are the true murderer of the victim. The splodge of red over on that desk, why, it’s blood isn’t it?! You killed the victim on this desk before moving his body over to the ceremonial table over there, in order to frame Mr. Ninate!”

At this point, even Redford seemed to be unable to follow along with the detective’s reasoning as he cross-checked his current notes with his previous notes. “Mr Sholmes, that doesn’t—”

“—You were so desperate to enter the crime scene,” said Sholmes, ignoring the objections of the red-headed writer, “because you wanted to conceal any evidence that would point towards you being the true culprit of the matter!” he exclaimed, pointing at Conan Doyle triumphantly.

DEDUCTION #1: Why is this man here?

CONCLUSION #1: Attempting to conceal incriminating evidence.

DEDUCTION #2: Conan Doyle’s Means

The detective began his reasoning yet again: “So, Mr. Donan Coyle—”

“—Conan Doyle!”

“—Whatever it is you like to call yourself, we must therefore ask what your motive, means and opportunity related to this crime are. The means is surprisingly clear to me, as it’s to do with the contents of your pocket!”

“Gack!” croaked Conan Doyle again, looking exactly where Sholmes had wanted him to.

“Yes, your means was…the cricket ball in your pocket, which you used to brutally beat the victim to death!”

Conan Doyle raised his eyebrow again, and once again began to furiously stroke his moustache. “Ye’ve got it all wrong, laddie!” he exclaimed. “What the devil’re you talking about?!”

“Yes, I put it to you, sir, that you are the one who beat the victim to death before leaving his body there in an attempt to frame Mr. Ninate. You intended to come back and conceal any evidence that would point towards you being the killer, but you unfortunately left it too long – for as you can see the police managed to respond to the scene of the crime before you could cover anything up.

“And that, sir, is why you are the true culprit of the matter!”

DEDUCTION #2: Conan Doyle’s Means

CONCLUSION #2: Used a cricket ball to beat the victim to death.

The detective flicked the front brim of his deerstalker hat. “…Thus was Herlock Sholmes’s great deduction!”

The entire room remained deathly silent in the aftermath of the detective’s deductions. But then at last, Athelney Jones removed a set of handcuffs from his jacket pocket and spun them around on his index finger.

“Well that’s good enough for me then,” said Jones. “Mr. Conan Doyle, it looks like you’ll have to come down the station with me in order to respond to a few questions, and we’ll need to get this crime scene closed off again.”

“But Detective Jones, surely there’s some kind of mistake?” asked Susato.

“No ifs, no buts, madam. As the detective that’s in charge of this particular investigation, I’m afraid I have the final say on this matter.”

“But I didnae do it! Red, say something!” cried Conan Doyle, his Scotch accent growing thicker seemingly by the second. “Tell him tae stop! Or else I’ll have to break out…my secret weapon!”

“Secret weapon?!” exclaimed Ryunosuke, looking to his client to see Redford resting his face in his hand.

“Oh great, here we go…”

Conan Doyle raised the wand high above his head, before pointing it with all the gumption he could manage at Athelney Jones, shouting: “Ala-kazaaaam!”

Detective Jones leapt into the arms of Mr. Sholmes with a surprisingly high-pitched squeal of “Mummy! Help!”

Conan Doyle laughed triumphantly. “That’ll teach you, detective, for messing with an ally of the fairies!”

“Ally of the—? Ah…” said Susato, breathing a sigh of relief.

“‘Ally of the fairies’?” asked Ryunosuke, looking towards his client, who was leaning up against the wall with both hands in his pockets.

“I should’ve known that something like this’d happen,” said Redford. “You see, Arthur has quite a belief in the supernatural. Spirit mediums and what have you, including fairies, as you might’ve guessed from his outfit.

“Obviously such things don’t exit – to ordinary, human knowledge anyway given that nothing could be proved – and the man has an unfortunate knack to fall for every scam going, despite every attempt we’ve ever made to debunk it, like proving that a so-called photograph of fairies was done through cardboard cut-outs. So we’ve since stopped trying and just left the man to his own devices.”

“Ah,” said Ryunosuke, watching as Detective Jones remained cowering in the arms of a rather unamused Herlock Sholmes.

As the detective slowly opened an eye and realised that nothing in particular had happened, he leapt out of Mr. Sholmes’s arms again to stand up, brush himself off and straighten his tie.

“Right! That’s it! I’m sure attempting to curse a member of Her Majesty’s Metropolitan Police Force is a criminal offence. And once I find it, you can consider yourself officially under arrest!” The detective removed a copy of Policing for Beginners from his pocket and began to rapidly flick through the pages.

“OK while he’s doing that,” said Redford. “Is it just me or does Mr. Sholmes’s logic seem to be a little bit…‘off’?”

“That’s not even part of it,” said Ryunosuke. “I think he may be almost right, it’s just that he might need some little bit of, er…‘correction’.”

“If it’s correction you need,” said Sholmes, springing out of nowhere. “Then it’s correction that you’ll get, Mr. Naruhodo! It’s once again time for…Herlock Sholmes’s Dance of Deduction Re-Examination!”

[the-master-cylinder]

SUMMARY The film opens with archival footage from a press conference where NYPD officers Dave Greenberg and Robert Hantz are lauded by Commissioner Patrick V. Murphy commends them for the sheer volume of drugs and weaponry that the two cops have removed from the streets.

After a credits sequence, the narrative begins at the New York City Police Academy, where Greenberg (Leibman) and Hantz (Selby) graduate as probationary officers. They are assigned to low-level work like clerical tasks and directing traffic, but they chafe against the insignificance of these tasks and frequently abandon them to follow the sound of gunfire. One day, Greenberg is standing on the street in plain clothes when an elderly man offers to sell him some “French films” (porn). When he refuses, the old man attacks Greenberg, who arrests him. Greenberg gets in trouble for making an arrest while off-duty.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Greenberg and Hantz decide to keep making off-duty collars. They go to Coney Island disguised as Texaco attendants. They make a drug bust under the boardwalk and bring their collars to the local precinct, where the supervising officer is astonished to learn that two off-duty probationary cops confiscated so many illegal weapons and drugs. The pair continue to make busts around the city in their spare time. They stop a stolen car on Convent Avenue in Harlem, and at the local precinct, they bluff their way into being treated as senior officers from the “SUB” division, which is just the acronym for traffic enforcement.

After their probationary period, they are assigned to the fictional 21st Precinct in the Bedford-Stuyvesant neighborhood of Brooklyn. On their way to report for duty, they are aghast at the state of the neighborhood, and the precinct seems to be in just as much disarray. They are told to not make waves and to report for their first full day of duty the following morning. Instead, they find some prostitutes, hoping to get information. Greenberg tells his prostitute, Sara (Frazier), that he is a cop and asks where he can find some drug dealers. She screams for her pimp, causing a commotion.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Undaunted, Greenberg and Hantz manage to find an informant and make their first drug bust. As they book their collars, they identify themselves as new to the precinct. They are asked when they started, and Greenberg replies, “Tomorrow”. They track down the precinct Captain Krasna (Frazer). He is convinced his office is bugged, and he views Greenberg and Hantz’s enthusiasm warily.

Greenberg meets Sara again at Hank’s Tip Top Inn and accompanies her back to her apartment. He presses her for information about drug activity. The duo start making busts with her information. Captain Krasna calls them into his office and accuses them of being on the take because of all their independent drug busts. He pretends to call Internal Affairs, but when they do not react like corrupt cops, he decides to encourage their freelancing. Sara tells Greenberg that a contract has been put out on them. An anonymous tip to the station confirms her warning. Greenberg and Hantz lay in wait for their assassins and make a daring bust in broad daylight. The bystanders jokingly yell out greetings to the adventurous cops who they call “Batman and Robin”.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

At the arraignment for the case, Greenberg and Hantz are offered $1,500 to lie and get the case dropped. They try to gather evidence about the attempted bribe, but the District Attorney’s office ruins the bust by warning off the targets. The officers are growing more isolated by their fellow cops, who either resent them for showing them up, or view them with suspicion as being either corrupt or part of Internal Affairs.

The partners eventually corner the three Hayes Brothers who run the drug market in Bed-Stuy. The Hayes offer them a $1,000-week bribe, which Greenberg and Hantz pretend to take. Greenberg insists on meeting the Hayes’ suppliers, but on the way to the meeting, one of the Hayes notices Greenberg’s wire. Greenberg and Hantz kill the brothers in self-defense, and they are taken off duty while Inspector Novick (Hingle) conducts an internal investigation.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Greenberg is approached by another officer who has just transferred from the 80th Precinct. He offers to cut Greenberg and Hantz in on a scam. They meet at the Fish Delight Hut to discuss the details. It turns out the officer is from the Knapp Commission, and when he tries to arrest Greenberg and Hantz, the pair, in turn, try to arrest him for engaging in conspiracy. Greenberg threatens to arrest the other Knapp officers on the scene for entrapment. When Insp. Novick and Cpt. Krasna arrive at the restaurant, both factions of officers reveal that they have been taping each other. The stalemate is resolved by promoting everyone. The film ends with a re-enactment of the opening press conference, with Novick commending Greenberg and Hantz for their service.

In the early 1970s, Archie Comics recruited Gray Morrow to create a new line of comic books under the Red Circle imprint intended for a more mature audience. Interviewed by Jon B. Cooke in issue #17 of Comic Book Artist, Morrow explained the genesis of the Red Circle comics: “I met with Richard Goldwater (of Archie Comics), and his art director, Victor Gorelick They asked me if I could put together a package for them. I wasn’t sure if I could or not, but I said, Why not? I’ll give it a shot.’ I was thinking… in terms of old movies and radio shows.” The Red Circle line included titles like Chilling Adventures in Sorcery and Madhouse, as well as The Super Cops.

The Super Cops comic book was published around the same time the movie was released. Based on the book, the comic characters bear a greater resemblance to the actual policemen than did the actors in the film. The comic book is not an adaptation of the book, though, but rather a series of vignettes featuring the exploits of Greenberg and Hant.

THE FRIENDS OF EDDIE COYLE, Steven Keats, 1973

A half-hour pilot for a proposed TV series based on the film, starring Steven Keats as Greenberg and Alan Feinstein as Hantz, aired in 1975 on CBS.

CAST/CREW Directed Gordon Parks

Produced William Belasco

Written L.H. Whittemore (book)

Screenplay Lorenzo Semple Jr.

Ron Leibman as David Greenberg David Selby as Robert Hantz Sheila Frazier as Sara Pat Hingle as Insp. Novick Dan Frazer as Police Capt. Irving Krasna Joseph Sirola as Police Lt. O’Shaughnessy Arny Freeman as Judge Benny Kellner Bernard Kates as Heller Alex Colon as Carlos

CREDITS/REFERENCES/SOURCES/BIBLIOGRAPHY Wikipedia Youtube

The Super Cops (1974) Retrospective SUMMARY The film opens with archival footage from a press conference where NYPD officers Dave Greenberg and Robert Hantz are lauded by Commissioner Patrick V.

[itsrattysworld]

Without Prejudice Mervelee Myers Colonisation In Reverse Honouring The Strong Women Everywhere As Sir Mark Rowley Nigel Pearce Seb Adjei-Addoh New Met For London Must Be Taken To Task Via CPPDP Copyright Intellectual Property Images YouTube Monetization Role Of Social Media Cyberbullies Harvesting Community HUB 2009 Decriminalization Need ERT Under Cover Margaret Horn Lecture 2020 Holly Sweeney Led Racist Thugs Nikki Wright And CO Murder Me To Say Commit Suicide Neil Solliss Nikki Babb MOPAC Response Evidence Pattern Of Hate Crimes Against Me From IOPC JCIO BSB SRA Fail To Act Winsome Duncan Barrister Ryan Clement Verbal Threats Sent Police To Section Me Malicious Allegations I Write On Facebook I Was Feeling Suicidal Refer To HCT Group Impact Report 1 In 5 Of All Suicides Associated With Unemployment Rights Denied Richard Harty Panic Call Mobile Barclays Scam Me 2nd Time Financial Ombudsman Service Emma Martin-Hamilton Get YT Trustpilot To Remove Posts PC Edward Allen To Contact Me Sent Email HMCTS Miscarriages Of Justice Freer Simler Kernaghan Jones Doyle Shanks Parfitt Dight Boothe CCMCC Sterlini Zimmel Rand Bell Fail Collect Judgement Strike Claims Court Enforcement Services Ltd Send Order 4 Years Later I Write To Robert Buckland Reasons County Court Clerkenwell Shoreditch District Judges Some Of Whom I Did Not Attend Will Not Get Away Label Me Violent Nuisance 1st High Blood Pressure Amly Spent 60th Birthday In IC Dostan Died Prostrate Cancer Housing For Women Solicitors Sent Bundle Sunday Monday Take Husband To Do Diabetes Eye Test Posted On SM I Was Stress Need Support 1st August 23 DJ Sterlini Signature Case Behind Back DJ Hayes Claim I Had Enough Time To Attend Barrister Angela Delbourg Said I Must Be Whiter Than White She Was Scared I Would Shout At DJ I Did Not See DJ Bell Before DDJ Bastin 19/12/23 Attend GP Surgery Decima Road Mental Health Appointment 20/12/23 Was Not Aware Of DJ Naidoo DJ Piagram Was Helpful But I Will Not Fall How I Was Stitched Up By Legal Aid Tim Bittlestone Croydon Magistrates Court 2021 Housing Ombudsman Service MP Neil Coyle Harriet Harman Aware Of Housing For Women Targeting Vulnerable Tenants I Will Go To Lewisham To Interview Tenants Experience Terrorism By Samantha Gibbs Started With H4W April 22 Sent Me Invite To ASB Meeting May On Long-Term Sick Leave Is She Getting Paid Trina Philbert Visit With Candy Smith Adult Social Care June Month After Starting Mimi Owusu 12 Pages Witness Statement Convict Those Involved Unlawful Injunction Threats Eviction Writing Therapy Father Stricken Parkinson's Find My Vision Website Created From Scratch I Have Certification For Work Ball In Guy Lawful Court UK Society Treat 100 Year Old Less Favourably Than Animals 2024 I Was Offered £46-55,000 SENCO Job Smart Teachers Negotiation Starts There Kicked Out UEL 28/1

Refer to Without Prejudice Holocaust 2024 Memorial Gives Me Reasons To Reflect Systemic Discrimination After Death Of Mama Lou With Dementia I Wrote To Dilys Epton Eve Mothering Sunday 2015 Am Depressed Dying Slowly Of Torture 10 Years Judiciary Of England Wales Criminal Justice System Crown Prosecution Service Career Criminals Names Facebook Memories Tell World About A-Z Of Abusers With Friends…

[warninggraphiccontent]

28 February 2020

Drinks, data, discussion

We're giving Data Bites a break in March, but if you have 4 March pencilled into your diary, there's still an opportunity to discuss all things data, as we'll be going for drinks instead. If you'd like further details, drop me a line on gavin[dot]freeguard[at]instituteforgovernment[dot]org[dot]uk.

We're also on the lookout for:

Any reflections on the first octet (thanks, Giuseppe) for a short report we're publishing in April

Suggestions for future speakers, and any subject areas you'd like to see covered

Sponsors.

Please do get in touch!

Other things in brief:

A big thank you to Vuelio and an excellent panel for a fun discussion yesterday evening on the small matter of what 2020 holds in store. (No, we didn't stand up for the key change.) More on the hashtag.

A good discussion at the IfG yesterday morning on all things outsourcing transparency. Tl;dr: we need better data and more transparency. Some thoughts and links from me here.

I was quoted in a Times article on how civil servants are using Slack, revealed after a questionable deployment of an FoI exemption (more here, here and here on FoI).

And finally... another plea for help: we're looking for all sorts of frameworks about how to think about data, information, etc. Any suggestions very welcome - via Twitter or the email address above.

Have a great weekend

Gavin

Today's links:

Graphic content

You'll either love it or hate it

Marmot Review 10 Years On (UCL Institute of Health Equity)

Gains in UK life expectancy stall after decade of austerity, report says* (FT)

Austerity blamed for life expectancy stalling for first time in century (The Guardian)

UK politics, people and public services

Deprivation profiles for Welsh Local Authorities (Jamie Whyte)

School funding (Graham for IfG)

Housing (Ian Mulheirn on a BBC briefing)

Where are all the UK's new homes being built? (Centre for Cities for BBC News)

One in 10 new homes in England built on land with high flood risk (The Guardian)

Special advisers (IfG)

Migration Statistics Quarterly Report: February 2020 (ONS)

Study the biggest driver of migration to the UK, but overall levels remain stable (ONS)

Outer London most exposed to new immigration rules* (FT)

Electoral systems across the UK (IfG)

Labour partisans (strong identifiers) are now really distinctive compared with other groups (Paula Surridge)

More (Matt Singh)

GE2019: How did demographics affect the result? (House of Commons Library)

Capital Investment: why governments fail to meet their spending plans (IfG)

The trillion-pound question (Resolution Foundation)

Coronavirus

China fall in coronavirus cases undermined by questionable data* (FT)

13,000 Missing Flights: The Global Consequences of the Coronavirus* (New York Times)

Mapping the Coronavirus Outbreak Across the World* (Bloomberg)

US politics

What Defines The Sanders Coalition? (FiveThirtyEight)

Responses to our polling on the Democratic primary (G. Elliott Morris, via Ketaki)

What the Democratic Candidates Discussed During the Debates: Annotated Transcripts* (Bloomberg - and a bit behind the data, via Petr)

Sport

Alex Ovechkin is the eighth member of the NHL's 700-goal club* (Washington Post)

Liverpool have been in a winning position for... (Opta)

Uefa’s ban on Man City does not change football’s inequality* (FT)

Will Liverpool’s machine football conquer America?* (FT)

Globalisation has left lower-league football clubs behind* (The Economist)

How We Analyzed Allstate’s Car Insurance Algorithm (The Markup)

Everything else

Are there too many central bankers?* (The Economist)

The World’s Biggest Economies Get a Jolt of Government Spending* (Bloomberg)

Some lesser known visualisation techniques to show rankings when your data is just too big for a regular bar chart (Maarten Lambrechts)

Graph workflow

What is Complexity Science? (#ComplexityExplained, via David)

Meta data

Data

The Value of Data (Bennett Institute/ODI)

It’s Now or Never for National Data Strategies (Diane Coyle for Project Syndicate, via Graham)

How do we create trustworthy and sustainable data institutions? (ODI)

Data Dialogues' participatory futures projects announced (Nesta)

Three types of agreement that shape your use of data (Leigh Dodds)

Government rejects call for DCMS to audit departments’ data-sharing rules (Civil Service World)

How can data transform our health and care system? (Nesta)

AI, algorithms

The algorithm is watching you (London Review of Books)

Data Analytics and Algorithms in Policing in England and Wales: Towards A New Policy Framework (RUSI)

Rules urgently needed to oversee police use of data and AI – report (The Guardian)

Met Police chief defends facial recognition from 'ill-informed' critics (BBC News)

RUSI Annual Security Lecture

AI = “Automated Inspiration” (Cassie Kozyrkov, Towards Data Science)

Clearview AI hack is sweet irony for privacy advocates (New Statesman)

Suppose you have to choose... (Geoffrey Hinton)

Facial recognition is spreading faster than you realise (The Conversation)

Google AI will no longer use gender labels like 'woman' or 'man' on images of people to avoid bias (Business Insider)

Innovating responsibly with data and Artificial Intelligence (AI) (LOTI)

Digital government

Getting out early feels good: meet the Defra team building a new digital service for GB exporters (Defra)

A thread about UK digital government (warning: contains half finished thoughts) (Richard Pope)

UK digital government in the 2010s - what was it all about politically? (Bennett Institute)

Why Government Leaders Need to Become Digital Leaders (Governing)

Information

Inside the infodemic: Coronavirus in the age of wellness* (New Statesman)

How the Coronavirus Revealed Authoritarianism’s Fatal Flaw (The Atlantic)

Together at last – UK’s planning and housing statistics now in one place (ONS)

About the size of a London flat (ONS)

What Africa Check, Chequeado and Full Fact have learned about tackling bad information (Poynter)

Everything else

The Markup

Slouching towards dystopia: the rise of surveillance capitalism and the death of privacy (New Statesman)

Economists should learn lessons from meteorologists* (FT)

Robert Chote interview: OBR chief reflects on ten years as the nation’s top fiscal watchdog, and how he is still a reporter at heart (Civil Service World)

'I give fusion power a higher chance of succeeding than quantum computing' says the R in the RSA crypto-algorithm (The Register)

Oracle Reveals Funding of Dark Money Group Fighting Big Tech* (Bloomberg)

Katherine Johnson Dies at 101; Mathematician Broke Barriers at NASA* (New York Times)

Katherine Johnson: NASA mathematician and much-needed role model (The Conversation)

Democracy tech will be the next hot investment space (Wired)

The perils of opening the mind (Boston Globe)

Transparency

How can outsourced public services be made more transparent? (Institute for Government)

Grammar school scoring is wrong, says father – and hopes finally to prove it (The Guardian, via Nick)

Financial secrecy is the enemy in the fight against corruption (Thom Townsend)

Who uses WhatDoTheyKnow? (mySociety)

Opportunities

JOBS: NatCen

JOBS: What Works for Children's Social Care

JOB: Head of Information Rights (National Archives)

JOB: Delivery Manager (Convivio)

JOB: Artificial intelligence and algorithms reporter (Washington Post)

JOB: Partnerships and Community Manager – Understanding Patient Data (Wellcome)

JOB: Digital innovation (city) lead (Futuregov)

MoJ on the hunt for Head of Prisons Digital Services to help end reliance on ‘monolithic supplier owned systems’ (diginomica)

FELLOWSHIP: Google News Initiative (with FT, Guardian, Reach, Independent, TBIJ, Telegraph, First Draft News)

Building trust in how you handle data: a hierarchy (ODI)

EVENT: Data Trusts 2020: from theory to practice (ODI)

EVENT: Press Play: the power of data to transform physical activity (Ipsos MORI)

EVENT: FutureFest (Nesta)

And finally...

I graphed out my unaccepted Twitter DM requests (Katy Montgomerie)

The One With All The Polling (YouGov)

Duck (Terrible Maps, via Tim)

Sliding flaws: EU publishes misleading Brexit chart (Politico)

An actual chart from the 1998 Comprehensive Spending Review (via Sukh)

Civil servants discuss the politics of Love Island on Slack* (The Times)

[mastcomm]

Facial Recognition Moves Into a New Front: Schools

LOCKPORT, N.Y. — Jim Shultz tried everything he could think of to stop facial recognition technology from entering the public schools in Lockport, a small city 20 miles east of Niagara Falls. He posted about the issue in a Facebook group called Lockportians. He wrote an Op-Ed in The New York Times. He filed a petition with the superintendent of the district, where his daughter is in high school.

But a few weeks ago, he lost. The Lockport City School District turned on the technology to monitor who’s on the property at its eight schools, becoming the first known public school district in New York to adopt facial recognition, and one of the first in the nation.

The district, said Mr. Shultz, 62, “turned our kids into lab rats in a high-tech experiment in privacy invasion.”

The decision underscores how facial recognition is spreading across the country and being deployed in new ways in the United States, as public officials turn to the technology in the name of public safety.

A few cities, like San Francisco and Somerville, Mass., have barred their governments from using the technology, but they are exceptions. More than 600 law enforcement agencies started using the technology of one company, Clearview AI, in just the past year. Airports and other public venues, like Madison Square Garden in Manhattan, have adopted it as well.

Schools are a newer front, and the debate that took place in Lockport encapsulates the furor surrounding the technology. Proponents call it a crucial crime-fighting tool, to help prevent mass shootings and stop sexual predators. Robert LiPuma, the Lockport City School District’s director of technology, said he believed that if the technology had been in place at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla., the deadly 2018 attack there may never have happened.

“You had an expelled student that would have been put into the system, because they were not supposed to be on school grounds,” Mr. LiPuma said. “They snuck in through an open door. The minute they snuck in, the system would have identified that person.”

But opponents like Mr. Shultz say the concerns about facial recognition — namely privacy, accuracy and racial bias — are even more worrisome when it comes to children.

“Subjecting 5-year-olds to this technology will not make anyone safer, and we can’t allow invasive surveillance to become the norm in our public spaces,” said Stefanie Coyle, education counsel for the New York Civil Liberties Union. “Reminding people of their greatest fears is a disappointing tactic, meant to distract from the fact that this product is discriminatory, unethical and not secure.”

The debate in Lockport has unfolded over nearly two years. The school district initially announced its plans to install a facial recognition security system, called Aegis, in March 2018. The district spent $1.4 million, with money it had been awarded by the state, to install the technology across 300 cameras.

But when administrators wanted to do a test run last May, the State Education Department told them to hold off, partly in response to mounting public concerns over student privacy. The state wanted Lockport to make sure that students’ data would be properly protected, and demanded a policy that would forbid the use of student data, including their photos.

By June, Lockport officials said they had adjusted their policies, and they began testing parts of the system. In late November, the State Education Department said the district’s revised policy addressed its concerns. In January, the school board unanimously approved the latest policy revision.

When the system is on, Mr. LiPuma said, the software looks at the faces captured by the hundreds of cameras and calculates whether those faces match a “persons of interest” list made by school administrators.

That list includes sex offenders in the area, people prohibited from seeing students by restraining orders, former employees who are barred from visiting the schools and others deemed “credible threats” by law enforcement.

If the software detects a person on the list, the Aegis system sends an alert to one of 14 rotating part- and full-time security personnel hired by Lockport, Mr. LiPuma said. The human monitor then looks at a picture of the person in the database to “confirm” or “reject” a match with the person on the camera.

If the operator rejects the match, the alert is dismissed. If the match is confirmed, another alert goes out to a handful of district administrators, who decide what action to take.

The technology will also scan for guns. The chief of the Lockport Police Department, Steven Abbott, said that if a human monitor confirmed a gun that Aegis had detected, an alert would automatically go to both administrators and the Police Department.

If the Aegis system sent an alert to the department and the police could not reach anyone at the school to confirm the threat, Chief Abbott said, “it would be treated as a live situation.”

Days after the district announced that the technology had been turned on, some students said they had been told very little about how it worked.

“I’m not sure where they are in the school or even think I’ve seen them,” said Brooke Cox, 14, a freshman at Lockport High School. “I don’t fully know why we have the cameras. I haven’t been told what their purpose is.”

Others, like Tina Ni, 18, said the new technology and the news coverage of her school were “cool.”

Critics of the technology, including Mr. Shultz and the New York Civil Liberties Union, point to the growing evidence of racial bias in facial recognition systems. In December, the federal government released a study, one of the largest of its kind, that found that most commercial facial recognition systems exhibited bias, falsely identifying African-American and Asian faces 10 to 100 times more than Caucasian faces. Another federal study found a higher rate of mistaken matches among children.

In Lockport, black students are disproportionately disciplined. In the 2015-16 school year, 25 percent of suspended students in the district were black even though enrollment was only 12 percent black, according to data from the federal Department of Education.

Mr. LiPuma, the director of technology, said he believed that Lockport’s system was accurate. He also said he, as well as some other school officials, would like to add suspended students to the watch list in the future, despite the State Education Department’s recent directive that Lockport make it clear in its policy that it is “never” to use the system “to create or maintain student data.” Most school shootings in the last decade, Mr. LiPuma said, were carried out by students.

“The frustration for me as a technology person is we have the potential” to prevent a school shooting, he said. “If something happens, I’m not going to feel any better about that, but it wasn’t my decision. That’s on State Ed.”

Jason Nance, a law professor at the University of Florida who focuses on education law and policy, warned that listing students as “persons of interest” could have unintended consequences.

“If suspended students are put on the watch list, they are going to be scrutinized more heavily,” he said, which could lead to a higher likelihood that they could enter into the criminal justice system.

Jayde McDonald, a political science major at Buffalo State College, grew up as one of the few black students in Lockport public schools. She said she thought it was too risky for the school to install a facial recognition system that could automatically call the police.

“Since the percentages for the false matches are so high, this can lead to very dangerous and completely avoidable situations,” Ms. McDonald said.

She added that she believed police officers would “do whatever it takes in order to stop a suspicious person,” even if that person was a young student in school.

Opponents of the new technology now pin their hopes on state lawmakers. In April, Assemblywoman Monica Wallace, a Democrat from Lancaster, introduced a bill that would force Lockport to halt the use of facial recognition for a year while the State Education Department studied the technology. The bill easily passed in the Assembly but was not taken up by the Senate.

Ms. Wallace said she intended to make passing the bill a priority in this new legislative session.

“We all want to keep our children safe in school,” she said. “But there are more effective, proven ways to do so that are less costly.”

She said school districts could, for instance, take smaller steps like upgrading entrances and exits, hiring school resource officers, and investing in counselors and social workers.

Mr. Shultz said he would keep making his case.

“Hopefully, other districts around the country will learn from Lockport’s dumb mistakes,” he said. “A decision to bring facial recognition and artificial intelligence into our schools ought to be the subject of a serious conversation.”

from WordPress https://mastcomm.com/facial-recognition-moves-into-a-new-front-schools/

[forcri]

'They just wanted to silence her': the dark side of gay stan culture

For gay men, ‘stanning’ – being a super fan of – female pop stars can be a valuable part of your identity. But too often this fandom lapses into misogyny and body shaming

Ahead of Britney Spears’ record-breaking show at Brighton Pridethis year, Aaron Hussey noticed a fellow fan wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with a picture of Spears’ nervous breakdown: the 2007 incident when, head shaved, she attacked a photographer’s car with an umbrella. “I think he thought he was being funny,” Hussey says. “He wasn’t.”

“Brightney Pride”, as it has affectionately been nicknamed, was one of the biggest events of the gay calendar – so big that 4,000 revellers were left stranded once the city’s heaving public transport system failed under the pressure. Surely only dedicated Spears “stans” – the most dedicated kind of fan, a portmanteau of “fan” and “stalker” taken from Eminem’s hit about a crazed follower – would have braved these conditions to glimpse their idol. So why the cruel taunt?

Gay male culture has always coalesced around female pop stars, from Judy Garland to Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande. Academics and critics have puzzled over the source of this connection, their often misplaced theories ranging from the outlandish to the oedipal. But gay men and the women they worship are usually happy to bask in the mutual affection. This year, Spears was honoured with an award by the US’s Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (Glaad) for promoting equality. She responded by saying the gay community had shown her “unconditional love”.

But “unconditional” is often precisely what this love is not. Scratch lightly at the surface and what flakes off is, yes, reciprocity and genuine affection, but also callous misogyny.

One theory of the gay fan-diva link is that of shared oppression – gay men and women are both ground under the wheel of hetero-patriarchy. Perhaps in that model, the Spears T-shirt could be read as a show of solidarity, a knowing acknowledgment of her pain and our understanding? But there was nothing knowing in the way another gay fan photoshopped an umbrella into his meet and greet photo with the unwitting star and later circulated it online. These actions have a distinct edge of mockery, the air of a joke that their subject is not in on.

Dr Michael Bronski, a Harvard University professor and the author of books on queer history and gay culture says “There is a long history of gay male fan culture latching onto famous women and then turning on them. Queens would come to a Judy Garland concert and then scream at her when she was too drunk to finish it. The women have changed – it’s no longer Marlene Dietrich and Judy Garland. But the dynamic remains in western culture.”

The love-hate dynamic of gay stan culture that Bronski describes is now largely mediated through social media. Heckling in smoky nightclubs has been replaced by “hate memes”, when stans circulate unflattering edited pictures or examples of a star’s least-becoming behaviour, while the cheering has morphed into a lexicon of superlatives and put-downs that may seem impenetrable to the uninitiated: “we stan” favoured female pop stars, they’re “iconic”, a “kween”, an “unproblematic fave”. “She outsold” describes both someone’s commercial successes and a general sense of their superiority. Anyone who fails to meet those standards? “Fat”, “flop”, “failure”.

This online community relies on a dense matrix of references and neologisms informed by everything from drag culture to reality TV. Sami Baker is 21 and a self-professed gay stan – his favourites are Grande, Beyoncé and Charli XCX. He explains that the culture reaches further than many beyond the community might realise, citing the example of the recent avalanche of memes of reality star Gemma Collins. “They originated from gay stan Twitter. The language used within this culture is taken from the same place that Drag Race gets its lexicon, namely the underground subculture where LGBT people compete in various drag and performance categories, documented in the film Paris is Burning, and an inspiration for Madonna and Beyoncé.

For many gay men, Baker and myself included, gay pop stan culture is the distillation of everything meaningful in life. That statement reeks of camp melodrama, but it’s true. To my teenage self, women like Lady Gaga were the only light in a world where my queerness left me feeling like an outsider. As I grew up, the process of connecting my love for them with a wider culture of fandom enhanced my realisation that I was not alone as a queer person. “As I learned more about pop culture and references, that’s when I found people with the same interest,” says Baker. “These same people became my friends, my support network.”

It is hard to overestimate how meaningful the fan-diva relationship is for gay men. What is so perplexing is why this pseudo-religious devotion has always been laced with spite. Earlier this year, pop singer Hayley Kiyoko criticised Rita Ora, Cardi B, Bebe Rexha, and Charli XCX for their single Girls, a song about bisexuality that she, as a lesbian, thought was appropriative. Within hours, stan Twitter had unearthed and circulated incriminating tweets by Kiyoko from nine years ago (when she was 18) in an attempt to “cancel” her – excluding a person entirely from online discourse, except as the target of hate memes – for daring to critique a song they liked.

For Adam Byrne, a 23-year-old gay stan, this was a prime example of gay misogyny: “They didn’t care what she had to say. They just wanted to silence her.”

For him, this behaviour typifies gay stan culture: female artists must obey the rules or suffer the consequences. “A sinister side emerges when their ‘fave’ isn’t giving them exactly what they want,” Byrne explains. “Often jokes made at their expense are said in fun but it’s grim to see the joy [the community] sometimes takes in seeing these women fail: ‘She’s over!’, ‘Flop!’ ‘This era is dead!’ Look at the smug tweets about Nadine Coyle cancelling her tour; the way Katy Perry became gay Twitter’s punching bag.”

Baker says: “I’ve seen stan Twitter make jokes about the Manchester attacks, Demi Lovato’s recent overdose, Beyoncé’s skin tone, Noah Cyrus’s appearance.”

Much has been written about the “queer art of failure” – how queer people are always viewed as failures by heteronormative society, and thus must make a success of their own non-conformity. Perhaps, in this context, it’s unsurprising that gay men seem to revel in the perceived setbacks and shortcomings of their stanned subjects. But the sympathy one might expect to accompany this identification seems absent. The behaviour is less like a playful poke in the ribs, and more like a slap in the face.

Just last week, singer Marina Diamandis – an idol of the gay community – tweeted back to a fan who is part of the gay stan community after he sent her an abusive tweet. “There is a fan culture of degrading people online that I’m really not into. I haven’t been on social media a lot the past 3 months because I suffer from depression and the negative comments really affect me,” Diamandis posted. “Marina omg please don’t take it the wrong way I’m a stan and this was just intended as a harmless joke,” the fan protested. As Diamandis herself pointed out, stan culture can fail to grant humanity to the subjects of their worship.

I think they are real fans. But there is a fan culture of degrading people online that I'm really not into. I haven't been on social media a lot the past 3 months because I suffer from depression and the negative comments really affect me.

Even when gay men aren’t raining outright abuse on these women, their praise can sometimes reveal different forms of misogyny. One recent trend is to laud women by hailing them as “skinny” or a “skinny legend” – a trope that took off with a meme about Mariah Carey. Though it is used figuratively to imply flawlessness, it is revealing that a word historically used to police female physicality has naturally evolved in the gay male vernacular. Can it be anything other than chauvinist body-shaming?

Indeed, “skinniness” is just one of many hyper-feminine traits that gay men seem to prize in our stanned women. Helen Moynihan, 23, is a self-identifying queer woman who says the stanning of Ariana Grandeexemplifies precisely what is problematic about gay male idolatry. “Often I think gay men only see beauty in hyper-feminine, not butch, women,” she says. “It made me laugh when Grande was called a queer icon because she is the least queer person to me: someone who’s always trying to escape hyper-femininity.”

Grande’s blinding highlighter, swinging ponytail and heels are ubiquitous hallmarks of the gay stan hall of fame. Buzzcuts and Doc Martens are few and far between. It’s conditional love again – do we only stan the “right” type of women? Other forms of gay culture are similarly plagued by this insidious heteronormativity – men on dating apps like Grindr use refrains like “masc4masc” to praise masculinity and shun femininity in other men.

It’s important to remember that gay male culture exists at the confluence of many social currents, including wider male misogyny and societal homophobia. It is easy to apportion blame to gay men who are merely trying to find escapism and belonging, and to scapegoat behaviour that is universal. “In our culture of binary, heterosexual dysfunction, men hate women,” says Bronski. “It just so happens that some of them are gay.”

This is an important qualifier. Stanning itself is not exclusively homosexual territory – Eminem, the originator of “stan”, is hardly a queer icon. Dr Lynn Zubernis is a professor at West Chester University in Pennsylvania and an expert in fandom. She says the bullying behaviours found in gay stan culture are common to all fandoms.

“Because the object of a fan’s adoration becomes very important to the fan’s happiness, when there is some sort of disappointment, that brings a strong – and sometimes problematic – response. That is the dynamic behind the ‘mood swings’ you see in fandom, where fans love something one day and turn on it the next. It’s not about misogyny. It cuts across gender, sexuality, type of fandom, even time. Sports fans sometimes turn on star players in the same way. I don’t think it’s a male-female thing or a gay-straight thing. I think it’s a human thing.”

However, not all fandoms operate with the same power dynamics. In football, the vitriol Dr Zubernis uses for comparison takes on a new dimension when it intersects with racism. In gay stan culture, gender does not just occasionally intersect with online hatred – it defines the landscape. The abuse and objectification of these women is distinctly gendered – any man, gay or straight, tweeting “fat!” at a woman is unarguably misogynistic.

Gay men and pop’s women alike benefit from the mutuality of their “special relationship”. Spears is unlikely to have noticed one nasty T-shirt through the love heaped on her that day. But with gay male misogyny being discussed more widely than ever, in terms of our nightlife, queer spaces, and social movements, what does it say when this relationship is often so heartless? What kind of permissiveness are we helping to cultivate around misogyny? Deep down, do we really know what it means to love these women?