#call me king Henry VIII cause I got so many wives

[dfox1987]

Look at my schmoopie right now, dare I say pookie supreme Soundwave

I honestly forgot what number wife he is

[historic-old-guard-lover]

Does Boooker still loathe the English ?

TL;DR: Probably. The would-be French and would-be English have invaded, fought, and demeaned each other for pretty much the entirety of the last century (1066 CE to ~1914 CE). Even if Booker doesn’t really care about international politics despite being born during a time when the countries were actively fighting, he still would have been raised to look down on them as Protestants. And it’s not hard to find a reason to dislike the British *cough* destructive imperialism *cough* in the pursuit of spices that they don’t use *cough* and they made speaking their language globally important *cough*. (aside: France has a bad history of Imperialism, too, so Booker doesn’t have much of a moral high-ground) Let’s take the shortest tour through French-British conflict that I can give you. There will be a a few names, but please know that I already cut out hundreds of them.

What kicked off this epic mutual dislike? A literal bastard Frenchman with inadequacy issues. Beginning in October of 1066, the soon-to-be-famous William the Conqueror got tired of just being the bastard son of the Duke of Normandy (northernmost France) who secured the duchy for himself and decided to invade and conquer his distant cousin’s country. As you might have guess from his moniker, he was successful and had himself crowned King of England by December of that year. It helps to remember the distinctions between all those pesky pieces of the British Isles:

[ID: Euler diagram showing geographic (green) versus political (blue) labels.]

William conquered England, below, and then had the Pope approve of his new position by Easter. Yes, you heard correctly. This guy had such an inferiority complex that he became the internationally-recognized monarch of a neighboring country within a year. For the next hundred odd years, Anglo-Norman and not Old English was the official language of England. The whole British Imperialism thing starts to make a little more sense: they had it done to them first and they lost badly. Eventually, William’s (still Normand) descendants known as the “Plantagenet Kings” stretched themselves a little thin trying to claim all of France as their kingdom as well and decided to re-brand themselves as English and reinstate Old English as the official language to cope. And yes, this is those Plantagenets who will give rise to the Yorks and Lancasters who will cause the English War of the Roses where all the royalty kills each other for power and leaves the Tudors to come to power. But we’re not there yet.

[ID: picture of the British Isles and Northern France which shows the lands controlled by William the Conqueror by 1087 in pink. Notably, he controlled only England and not Wales or Scotland.]

Before the Normand royals of Britain all kill themselves, they have to stir up international drama. Edward I claimed in 1295 to the members of parliament that the King of France planned to invade England and extinguish the English language. Yes, this was a NORMAND king who was doing the same thing a generation or two ago. Then in 1346, his still-Normand grandson Edward III forged an ordinance from Philip VI of France calling for the destruction of the English and presented it to his parliament. This little performance kicked off the Hundred Years’ War (1337-1453 CE). It’s towards the end of this major conflict that the royals decide to incite civil war, by the way, because they really were too dramatic to live. Just so you know, I skipped over TWELVE WARS between William the Bastard’s (yes, a real moniker) invasion and the Hundred Years’ War so that this article wouldn’t drag on forever. By the time that the Hundred Years’ War is over, the (Welsh) Tudors are on the English throne and, excluding that time the English invaded France in 1475, the two nations decided to stop trying to conquer each other. This is Europe, however, and they’ll continue to be fighting each other through proxy wars at least twelve more times before we get to the 1770s. A lot of this proxy fighting happens over Italy, in case you’re interested.

If you thought that 700 years of nearly continuous armed conflict (a decade or two doesn’t really count as a break in the long run) wasn’t enough to justify the hate between England and France, you’ve underestimated the power of religion. France hosted the (what we call Roman) Catholic Papacy in Avignon from 1309 to 1376. France is to this day a VERY Catholic nation, with up to 88% of its population belonging to the Church if you count lapsed members. Between William (1066) and the 1770s, a little itty bitty religious movement you might have heard of called the (Protestant) Reformation shook Europe when the German Princes decided they were tired of listening to this Roman Pope dude, so they supported this funky little scholar-monk-priest name Martin Luther whose students eventually said fuck it, the papacy is trash let’s start our own church. Christians, being Christians, took this as a new thing to hate about each other despite the fact that most of the doctrine is still the same and whether you were Catholic or Protestant became very important to people from the mid-1500s CE onward. In comes the man with many wives, Henry VIII. He was king while the German Princes were revolting and decided he wanted a divorce from his first wife. The Pope said along the lines of unless you give me a good reason, it’s a no from me and Henry replied something like the fact that I want to marry a younger woman is reason enough, I’m going to make up my own damn church and I get to have as many divorces as I want and then he established the Church of England. And then he went on the have six wives (and one mistress whose bastard he acknowledged) who were either beheaded or divorced except for the last one. I personally regret he never got to the full eight-piece set he must have been going for. Since 1534 when Henry VIII first flaunted papal authority by divorcing his wife, the French and English have also had the pleasure of hating each other over religious differences.

[ID: French corsairs with booty and British prisoners in 1806, depicted in a later painting by Maurice Orange from the Wikipedia page on French state-sanctioned pirates called “corsairs” that I didn’t have the space to get to in the article.]

Booker is born and grows up in a France that is funding the American Revolution and stealing from their trading ships (because fuck the British). This whole “America” decision destabilizes the country, leads to the popularity of the guillotine, and sets the stage for Napoleon Bonaparte (who, fun fact, was actually average height because the French decided to change the length of an inch for a while and if you think otherwise, it’s British propaganda). It helps to understand that the English and French had entered what we now call the Second Hundred Years’ War, this time started by the English trying to depose the French King, where they’d been skirmishing with each other from 1689 until Napoleon’s defeat at Waterloo in 1815. When I say that the diplomatic strategy was “fuck the British,” this is what I’m referring to. There were very few rules that couldn’t be broken in pursuit of disadvantaging France’s island neighbor and vice versa. As a poor person, he definitely hated the French monarchy but he probably equally hated the English because, again, fuck the British defined the 1700s CE. Booker ends up conscripted in part because of the British (and in part because of Napoleon being a little too power-hungry). I think our depressed Frenchman has enough room in his heart to hate both the British and Napoleon...and neither has given him a good reason to stop hating them. UK-French relations arguably only normalized because of the increasing threat that Imperial and then Nazi Germany posed. Even during WWII, however, the British dragged their feet to begin helping the French eject the Nazis and let the Americans lead that front (which was only 200-something years late repayment for helping with their Revolution, but who’s counting?). I have no guesses as to what Booker thinks of the EU, but the Brexit debacle is just another reason to resume disliking the UK for someone who unabashedly disliked them for two hundred years. Oh yeah, and they’re God-damned Protestants to boot. (note: that’s from a Catholic perspective, not mine)

[shalebridge-cradle]

Historical References in What Are You Going to Do With Your Life? Chapters 4-6

Chapter 4

Whoever is getting executed… would probably be better off at Tyburn, for all the indignity they will suffer. Tyburn was where the regular criminals got hanged, including the ringleaders of the Pilgrimage of Grace (see below). Tower Hill was the next step up (this is where George Boleyn, Thomas Cromwell and both Thomas and Edward Seymour were executed), then Tower Green, where Anne Boleyn and Katherine Howard were beheaded.

The song Anne sings (and is referenced in the opening notes) is called With Her Head Tucked Underneath Her Arm, written in 1934 and found here. The three queens referenced in the last verse are the same three that appear in this scene – Jane Seymour, Anne Boleyn, and Catherine Parr.

Anne Boleyn is trying hard not to reference all the people she saw tortured and killed while haunting the Tower, including her sister-in-law Jane Parker-Boleyn and her cousin Katherine Howard. And also likely bemoaning the fact she can’t play with Henry’s mace-gun.

Catherine’s attempted mugging is a reference to two things – her near-execution for heresy during her third marriage, and being held hostage by the Pilgrimage of Grace during her second (a rebellion against Henry’s break from the Catholic church – her husband at the time, John Neville, was a Catholic who wasn’t directly involved, and some participants attempted to force him to support their cause).

Catherine Parr was the first English queen to be Queen of both England and Ireland, following Henry’s adoption of the title of King of Ireland in 1542.

Chapter 5

Anne Boleyn was charged with adultery, treason and incest – but not witchcraft. Henry VIII, however, did claim he had been seduced into the marriage by ‘sortilege’, a French word meaning either ‘deception’ or ‘spells’.

Anna’s comment about Parr’s looks was recorded by Eustace Chapuys, Holy Roman ambassador to England. Cleves was quoted saying regarding the marriage, “Madam Parr is taking a great burden on herself”. She was right.

“When you started opening and closing that locket in front of me, it made me feel… angry. Is that what you want?” Henry gave Jane Seymour a locket with a miniature portrait of himself in it, which Jane started opening and closing in Queen Anne’s presence. Anne ripped the locket off of her with such force, she injured her hand in doing so.

Jane Seymour’s only reported involvement in her husband’s politics was in 1536, where she asked the king to pardon the participants of the Pilgrimage of Grace. The king refused, and supposedly reminded her of Boleyn’s fate should she go against him in the future.

‘Yea’ and ‘Nay’ were used concurrently with ‘Yes’ and ‘No’, but in different contexts. ‘Yea’ and ‘Nay’ were used for positively-phrased questions (“Will they go?” “Do you think he deserved it?”), with yea as confirmation and nay as contradiction.‘Yes’ and ‘No’ were for negatively-phrased questions (“Will they not go?” “Doesn’t that hurt?”), with no as confirmation and yes as a contradiction.

The false claims Anne makes about her personal appearance are most likely to be attributed to Nicholas Sander, a Catholic propagandist who was in exile during the reign of Elizabeth I. Her skeleton was exhumed during Queen Victoria’s reign – she was about 5’ 3”, and did not have a sixth finger on either hand.

Parr’s comments are in reference to The Six Wives of Henry VIII by Alison Weir. The assumption about Howard being an ‘empty-headed wanton’ is made on page 3.

Chapter 6

Boleyn was “going through some stuff” in the 1600s because Elizabeth I died in 1603. The events she makes reference to are the Great Plague of London, the Great Fire of London, and the English Civil War.

How is it that the country thought the best move was to decapitate the body politic?  The ‘body politic’ is a long-standing metaphor by which a state, society or church is compared to a biological organism (usually a human body). In a monarchy, the king was usually depicted as either the heart or the head of this body, the latter shown in this terrifying book cover.

Parr’s nightmare is reference to when her tomb was opened in 1782 by John Locust. He reports that the body was in good condition, than that the flesh on her arm was ‘white and moist’, and that he took a few locks of her hair before sealing her up again. The next time the coffin was opened, nothing was left but a skeleton.

Maria? I cannot see you. Do not leave me alone. Where are you? María de Salinas, Baroness Willoughby de Eresby and ‘Maria on the drums’, reportedly held Catherine of Aragon as she died, having forced her way into Kimbolton Castle to see her. Catherine Parr was reported to have learned Spanish after becoming queen, and so the language is translated.

Henry VIII’s last wife was young enough to be named after his first. Gross.

“What happened to Mary? Was she queen? Was she happy?” Queen? Yes. Happy? Hard no. Mary I was reported to have executed roughly 300 or so people during her reign. Even if we use the lower estimate of 50,000 people over 36 years, Henry VIII executed significantly more of his subjects per year (about 1400) than Mary did throughout her whole tenure as queen. It does not in any way excuse her actions (or the actions of monarchs before and after her), but the name ‘Bloody Mary’ likely comes from being on the wrong side of England’s conflict of faith.

The card game being played by Boleyn, Howard and von Kleve is Primero, which was popular in the Tudor period. You knock on the table and say “Vada” (Go) when you’re happy with your hand. If someone else has also knocked, you face off – the better hand wins.

‘The Cat Came Back’ is a comic song written in 1893 about a cat (colour varies depending on the version) that refuses to leave, despite what his reluctant owner does. I hate the song, but I like the pun.

The word beginning with ‘p’ that Howard was going to say was ‘poison’. There were rumours, also thrown around after the deaths of Catherine Parr and Edward VI, that Catherine of Aragon was poisoned. The black growth discovered on her heart during embalming wasn’t understood to be cancer at the time. This theory was mentioned by Christina of Denmark, one of Henry’s potential fourth wives and relative to Catherine of Aragon, as a reason she had no desire to marry Henry (amongst others). Boleyn refutes this potential cause of death; she, along with Henry, was a possible suspect.

(Side note: Christina of Denmark was pretty great. She reportedly struggled to keep a straight face while the English ambassador told her how gentle and kind Henry was, and supposedly said “If I had two heads, one should be at the King of England’s disposal”. She was out of the running pretty definitively, though not due to her ‘match with the Duke of Milan’ as per the show. He was dead as of 1535, and Christina was still a widow from 1537 to 1539, when Henry was pursuing her. She was married to the future Duke of Lorraine (Anne of Cleves’ old betrothed) in 1541.)

“…even though Boleyn will probably outplay me again.” I was researching whether or not Catherine of Aragon was reported to have played cards, and in doing so found many Etsy listings and one oil painting by a William Maw Egley. The line is a reference to both the events of the painting and Anne taking the position of queen from Catherine.

[serenity-the-firefly]

SIX THE MUSICAL IS GREAT AND HERE IS WHY

(grace @minor-mendings this is for u) 

tl;dont want to read:

guys i just really love six the musical and think its groundbreaking!

six is obviously building on hamilton’s success/legacy, except it’s better because:

-shorter (only 80 minutes)

-features all women (including the band)

anyways actual analysis here:

First off, i think this is incredible because the musical is an all-female cast AND band, and the cast is generally at least 50% poc! i don’t actually know that much about the theater industry, but i’m pretty certain not many shows offer such great opportunities for multiple woc.

But the thing that impresses me most about Six is that this musical takes a bit of history most of us know of (Henry VIII and his six wives) and asks us why we only ever talk about these women in the context of their mutual husband. This musical gives a voice to six historically important women, and that is so cool! in fact, at the end the wives point out to the audience how terrible it is that we insist on comparing all these women and only caring about them because they have the same husband, when, in fact, henry viii is largely remembered because he had six wives. 

To quote katherine parr:

Got married to the king Became the one who survived I've told you about my life The final wife But why should that story Be the one I have to sing about Just to win? I'm out That's not my story There's so much more

Remember that I was a writer I wrote books and psalms and meditations Fought for female education So all my women could independently Study scripture I even got a woman to paint my picture Why can't I tell that story? 'Cause in history I'm fixed as one of six And without him I disappear We all disappear 

one of the things i like best about this musical is that the women get to be full people who exist outside of a man. and they make use of something i like to call the “mad max: fury road affect” : when you have multiple female characters, they get to have different personalities. Sure, some of them are feminist and angry and outspoken. but some of them are just interested in having a good time, or are legitimately in love with henry and just want to be a mother and wife. and thats okay! because there is a plurality of female experiences! the problem is when people insist that only one is acceptable, and that women are somehow less than fully human.

Finally, my absolute favorite lines are from the last song.  

But we want to say Before we drop the curtain Nothing is for sure Nothing is for certain All that we know is that We used to be six wives

This it puts into question all of history! because, honestly, so much of history is subjective, based on assumptions and modern worldviews imposed on the old. we can’t really ever know what people thought or felt. how much of what we know is true? as a student of history, i think this idea is just so cool and frankly exhilarating. question all your assumptions! let women have happy endings! because, honestly, henry was a very small portion of many of these women’s lives, and at least two lived on happily after his death. isn’t it more radical to give these women ownership over their actions? to give them agency? to let women have a happy ending, when so often we are told that women-- and especially women pre-the immediate past-- cannot? 

hamilton is groundbreaking because it changes the narrative; six is groundbreaking because it asks us to question the narratives we are given.

[wanheda0313]

This is the Anne Boleyn rant. Excuse the formatting. The assignment was about seeing if a historical figure was a hero or a villain and it needed to be done in first person. I hope you learn something from this

Divorced, Beheaded, and Died. Divorced, Beheaded, Survived. He’s Henry the VIII, he had six badass wives and I say he ruined Anne’s life. Her name is Anne Boleyn and despite what the history books say about her. She am not a villain. 

The history books paint her as a villain. As someone who seduced Henry to get to the throne and then slept with 5 men, including her own brother. To understand her story and how historians are wrong, we need to go to the beginning of her life. 

Anne Boleyn was born on the 5th of May 1507 at Hever Castle (Or May 1501 at Kent castle. We don’t actually know when she was born due to a lack of records being taken from before 1538). Her parents were Thomas Boleyn, who was the first Earl of Wiltshire, and Elizabeth Howard, Catherine Howard’s aunt, which made Anne and Henry’s 5th wife, first cousins. Guess losing your head runs in the family. She had two surviving siblings. Mary Boleyn and George Boleyn. 

She was sent to Margaret of Austria, who was a noble lady who ran a school for the children of royals, wealthy and influential nobles in 1513 when she was 6. Her father believed in all his children getting the best education he could get for them which led Mary and Anne both getting a similar education of what George received. It was described as a centre of high culture for the youth of the nobility. She was assigned a Tudor tutor to help improve my French since that’s usually helpful when you’re in a French-speaking country, but she also learnt many other skills such as mathematics, dance and music. Because of this education, she was offered a place in the French Court where she joined her sister, Mary.

She was a maid of honour under Mary Tudor, my *sarcastic voice* lovely husband’s sister until she left the French court to marry a lord. Henry was furious and instead of Mary, Anne and Mary served Queen Claude of France. She was surrounded by art and culture at the French Court something when Anne became Queen Consort, she brought to the dreary English court. Anne, from 1514 to 1521 was spent severing Queen Claude of France until she was summoned back to England to marry an English noble - James Butler. This was a political marriage to settle a dispute over land and the title of Earl of Ormond which James’ family wanted. But both families couldn’t agree upon terms of what both families would get so the marriage fizzled out. Another reason for Anne returning back to England was the diminishing alliance between England and France

Anne soon became apart of the court of the royal family in 1522. She became one of Catherine of Aragon’s maids of honour just like her sister, Mary. I know the Tudor times weren’t very creative with their names. Her job as a Maid of Honour was that I helped her get ready in the morning and helped her throughout the day with small tasks. The usual. During this time, Mary Boleyn, was a mistress of Henry. 

When Anne arrived at court she was with another guy, Henry Percy but his dad the Earl of Northumberland refused to support the relationship (And fun fact would actually be involved in the down fall of Jane Gray). So during the autumn of 1526, Henry noticed Anne and decided that he would pursue me as his next mistress and stopped seeing her sister, Mary. 

He sent his first letter that year... He sent 17 letters over the course of 7 years from when he first courted Anne to when they got married that survive to this day. The surviving letters are kept in the Vatican archives. In one of these letters, he asked me to be his official mistress to which Anne said yes. Soon his lust turns into love and he finally decided to annul his marriage to Catherine of Aragon in order to marry Anne.

He wrote to Pope Clement VII to annul the marriage on the basis that in Leviticus it states “If a man shall take his brother’s wife, it is an impurity. He hath uncovered his brother’s nakedness; they shall be without sons (25:5)” As Catherine was married to Henry’s brother, Arthur before he died. Then 7 years later married Henry VIII. Henry wouldn’t be able to have heirs due to his marriage to Aragon, thus endangering line of succession and the future of England. He so far he didn’t have any male heirs. 

Obviously, if you know history, then you know how this turns out. The pope rejected Henry’s claim for annulment. This lead to Cardinal Wosley getting kicked out since he wouldn’t annul the marriage between Catherine and Henry and a new cardinal was chosen. And the rise of Protestantism in England as England broke away from the Roman Catholic Church in order for Henry to divorce Catherine and Marry me. 

On the 25th of January 1533, Anne married King Henry in a secret ceremony as Henry was still married to Catherine of Aragon. It was small and had the most trusted members of our councils. It was a long time waiting. 7 years it took from us meeting for the first time when to then when they became husband and wife.  

 Three months later on the 30th March 1533, Catherine of Aragon was made Dowager Duchess of Wales and her daughter Mary was kicked out of the line of succession and no longer called Princess Mary. She was now called Lady Mary. Aragon’s status as queen removed. 

Two months later the 23rd of May, Henry and Catherine’s marriage was annulled by the newly appointed Archbishop of Canterbury Thomas Cranmer and Henry’s marriage to Anne was declared valid. Then Henry and Thomas were excommunicated by the pope. 

At the end of the month, Anne was coronated at Westminster Abbey as Queen Consort of England which is just a fancy way of saying though she was queen, she has no real power. There was a four-day celebration to celebrate me becoming queen. During this time, Anne was pregnant with Henry’s heir.  

And on the 7th of September, Anne had a beautiful baby girl. She named her Elizabeth in honour of Anne and Henry’s mother. Elizabeth Howard and Elizabeth of York. Anne was thrilled at the birth of a healthy baby but Henry hoped Anne would provide him with the son he so desperately wanted. 

Anne would never give him son. This caused arguments within the marriage. As well qualities that Anne had which were desired in a mistress were things that were not desired in a wife. My intelligence, my affinity for politics and my forward nature were deemed useless when Anne married Henry. To be replaced by total devotion, subservience and to be seen but never heard.  

Soon, the public started to blame Anne for the tyranny that her husband’s government was starting to implement. She was seen as the person who was to blame for leading Henry down a path of sin as if Henry or any of his advisors would listen to anything she’d have to say about how to run the country. 

She wasn’t a very popular queen among the people who were loyal to Catherine and their catholic faith. And this is solidified by the fact when on the 8th of January 1536 when Anne and Henry we’re told that Catherine of Aragon died they wore yellow to her funeral. (sing along if you know the words…. CATHERINE WAS A MASSIVE-). The two did wear yellow to Catherine’s funeral but it was simply due to the fact that yellow was a traditional mourning colour for Spain, the country where Catherine grew up, not to celebrate that she was dead.

Around this time, Anne became pregnant again. She knew this time that it had to be a son but around this time Henry was knocked unconscious, Anne must’ve been worried that she sadly miscarriage a boy. She had a rapid amount of pregnancies but then miscarriages. Most historians say that Anne had two stillborn children after Elizabeth died. One of them being a son. 

After Henry’s fall, he started seeing one of Anne’s maids of honour, Jane Seymour just as he had done with Anne. Jane became his mistress. Henry declared that Anne seduced him into the marriage as if he didn’t spend 7 years trying to court Anne but whatever. Go off, I guess.

On May the 2nd 1536, I was arrested and taken to the Tower of London to await my fate. In my last letter that Anne wrote, she wrote of my innocence of my charges to Henry and pleaded with him to spare me. Anne was 28 years old. 

In history, she’s considered a villain for apparently sleeping with 5 different men, including her brother George Boleyn. Though there is little proof of this that is actually credible. And for seducing Henry into marrying me which then caused breaking England away from the Roman Catholic Church and creating a huge religious reform that had a history-changing impact and launched Protestantism into the mainstream. And created the Church of England for which Henry was the head of that’s true. 

The only confession provided was by Mark Smeaton, a very talented musician, though it took him being tortured on the rack to say that he was Anne’s lover and slept with her at Greenwich 13th May 1535 (Yeet my birthday) even though at that date Anne was at Richmond Palace (Yes the same Palace which Anna of Cleves was given) which is over 4 hours away. Very credible indeed. 

All the accusations didn’t add up to what actually happened. Apparently Anne was sleeping with Henry Norris, a courtier at Westminster when she  was recovering after Elizabeth’s birth with several eye witness’ and doctors saying she did not leaving my room. But other than those two pieces ‘evidence’ nothing was there. Anne never slept with my brother. 

Regardless of the evidence, 4 of the men Anne  was accused of sleeping were found guilty of adultery and treason as they were also accused of conspiring with Anne to kill Henry. Again there wasn’t any proof for these charges. Sentenced to be hanged, drawn and quartered by a jury of 27 peers all unanimously saying guilty. 

On the 15th of May 1536, Anne and her brother George stood trial, accused of incest, adultery and high treason. Her uncle Edmund Howard (Katherine’s asshole of a father) and her own father, Thomas Boleyn were apart of the 27 jurors who sentenced Anne to death by saying she was guilty on all counts. George and Anne were sentenced to be executed by beheading. 

Anne was beheaded on the morning of Friday the 19th of May 1536. She was reported to have worn a red petticoat under a loose, dark grey gown. In one last act of kindness, a french swordsman was my executor. He cut off Anne’s head in one slice. It was said that Anne joked with him saying since her head is so small, it will be easy to chop her head off. Elizabeth, would’ve two years old when someone told her Anne was never coming back home. 

Henry announced his betrothal to Jane Seymour that day as well. Not even bothering to come and see Anne die

Just as the historian, yes in the afterlife we can still see what’s going on (And six the musical you're doing great sweetie minus how you portray me. I'm disappointed) Paul Gallico said, ‘You learn eventually that while there are no villains, there are no heroes either. And until you make the final discovery that there are only human beings, who are therefore all the more fascinating, you are liable to miss something.’

Anne was never a villain in history but she was no hero either. She was a simple human being who tried her best with a king hellbent on getting a male heir. And she paid the price for failing to do that with her life.

[the-quiet-winds]

Close Enough to Start a War (part one)

i’m back. @ichlugebulletsandcornnuts is back (this was her idea, and it kind of developed from there). 

like, reblog, do all that nice stuff. this is part one of two. 

[Part 1: When the Thunder Calls]

the queens had not long started their second european tour and were currently stationed in paris, so none of them were aware of the documentary that had aired the night before back in the UK. that is, not until boleyn walks into the kitchen where the other queens are sitting having breakfast, frowning at her phone.

“did anyone else wake up tagged in a bunch of tweets about some documentary?” she asks. the others share puzzled looks before they reach for their own phones.

jane glances at her (rarely used) twitter. she had indeed been tagged in hundreds of tweets about a documentary, apparently by some guy called Professor Steven Redbridge, where he claimed to reveal the true story of Henry VIII’s wives.

“i don’t know why they still keep doing these,” cleves comments, raising an eyebrow at her own phone. “I mean, they could just ask us what it was like.”

“maybe we should give it a watch?” offers parr. she feels she knows what’s coming - another bland retelling of the six of them, basic facts about who they were, what they did, how they died.

plain, simple, dry.

boy, was she wrong.

“Henry’s first wife,” redbridge introduces that afternoon, the queens all seated on the couches and chairs in their rented space, “was Catherine of Aragon, the daughter of Isabella and Ferdinand, the famous Spanish rulers who sent Columbus on his great quest to America.”

“at least he got that right,” grumbles aragon.

“Catherine of Aragon was primarily known as a devout member of the Christian faith, whom, once Henry was bewitched by Anne Boleyn, was sent off to a nunnery, the seemingly perfect place for someone as faithful as she.”

“when will people realise that there’s a big difference between christian faiths!” aragon glares at the tv. “i’m catholic. that’s really quite important to the whole story of england. besides, i didn’t just go.” meanwhile boleyn, who was squashed between cleves and jane on the couch that really was only big enough for two people, had her nose scrunched questioningly.

“he means ‘bewitched’ in a metaphorical sense, right?”

“catherine had given henry a daughter,” Redbridge continues, “but henry needed a son. could he find that with the beautiful anne, a shrewd political strategist who schemed for the crown?”

that last line caught everyone off guard.

“shrewd?” boleyn challenges.

“strategist?” asks parr.

“schemed?” cleves quips.

“anne boleyn, daughter of the french court, came to england in hopes of usurping the english crown from an unsuspecting catherine of aragon,” redbridge says smartly.

aragon throws a handful of popcorn at the tv. “that’s not true!” boleyn felt almost a bit of gratitude at aragon defending her.

“anne, meanwhile,” redbridge continues, “had her ways of enchanting henry. many reports claim that anne was not only a gorgeous french woman, but a witch.” he points to the base of his hand. “sometimes a sixth finger can come in handy.”

boleyn looks down at her hands, nearly in tears. all of the queens knew that, while she made a joke about it on stage, she is secretly very embarrassed about the abnormality, one that may have caused her death.

jane puts her hand on boleyn’s arm to comfort her. “turn it off,” she says to parr, who has the remote. “we don’t need to watch this rubbish.”

“it’s okay,” boleyn swallows slightly, blinking back tears. “i want to see how ridiculous they can get.” she sniffs and rubs her eyes angrily with her fists. “i’m not even proper french, let alone a witch.”

katherine, who is sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the couch, resting her back against the space next to jane’s legs, turns to look at her cousin, concerned, and boleyn sends her a watery grin, mouthing “i’m fine,” even though her eyes are still filled with tears.

“anne, however, couldn’t bewitch the king forever,” redbridge speaks. “after anne gives birth to a daughter, henry’s eyes start to wander, and soon his attentions turn to jane seymour, lady-in-waiting to the queen.”

“this ought to be interesting,” jane mumbles. she feels a weight against her leg and looks down; katherine was leaning her head against her knee. with a soft smile, jane lets a hand fall to slowly and absently play with katherine’s hair.

“there’s a reason,” redbridge says, drawing jane’s attention back to the screen, “that many people forget about the third wife. jane was very drastically different from her predecessors. where catherine and anne we’re larger than life figures, bold and unique, jane was demure, soft-spoken, and said to be very maternal.”

jane realizes that her spot may not be so bad, until redbridge speaks again.

“she is best known for her son, edward, and for dying immediately after.” he looks upward with a laugh. “ol’ jane seymour, if you’re up there, i hope you’re doing more than you did down here.”

jane can feel katherine practically start seething and she immediately tries to soothe her by running her fingers through katherine’s hair. the words sting jane as much as she tries not to let it affect her; mostly because, unlike the other queens, she fears redbridge was right about her. that was her legacy, wasn’t it? giving henry his son and then dying?

her thoughts continue even through redbridge’s next narration. “once jane died, henry moved on very quickly, finding love with the beautiful woman he saw in a portrait. when his new bride Anne of Cleves arrived in England, however, henry realises he’d been tricked. the woman he was marrying was the spitting image of a horse.” the editors included the sound effect of a horse whinnying to accompany his words.

cleves ‘humphs’. “the editing is taking it a little too far.” she pauses and smirks. “at least the horse is better looking than scraggly-beard over here.”

the ladies quietly chuckle at this as redbridge begins the next narration.

“Katherine Howard,” he states. jane feels kat stiffen slightly and begins to slowly play with her hair again.

“...was a young girl from England, only around sixteen upon marrying the king.” he pauses for effect. “this may sound horrifying and traumatic but believe me, it was just her plan.”

“my plan?” katherine repeats, quietly and incredulously.

“ever since she was a child, Katherine was known to bewitch more boys that Boleyn, enjoying lustful affairs with men much older than she. she was brought to court as a lady-in-waiting to Anne of Cleves, and immediately began her attempts to woo the king, the seductive temptress in his own court.”

katherine’s blood runs cold as the words wash over her. she didn’t “enjoy” any affairs, she didn’t even want any of them. she feels the hot tears threatening to spill from her eyes, and almost unconsciously she whispers, “i was a child.”

redbridge doesn’t stop there, however. “the young seductress soon had the king in the palm of her hand and he married her, but despite all katherine’s planning and manipulation, she wasn’t clever enough to conceal her affair of passion with the courtier thomas culpeper.”

katherine stiffens at hearing culpepper's name, everything getting worse by the minute. what happened with him was based from anything but passion. she can vaguely feel jane's hand weaving through her hair, but it doesn't seem real.

"the two were tragic as romeo and juliet - brought down by a forbidden affair," redbridge says wistfully, before becoming pedantic once again. "once the seductress was found out, no one could stop the warpath henry went on. he executed culpepper first, even though he claimed being unable resist katherine's advantages, before beheading the temptress herself." he chuckles despite himself, then lightens his tone. "well at least she didn't die a virgin - that's better than i can say for some of my friends."

parr stands up and switches the tv off. “i think that’s enough of that,” she says firmly. “i can guess the type of things he’s going to say about me, and i don’t think any of us need to listen to this any longer.”

katherine doesn’t even hear her, lost in what redbridge had said. is this what people would believe? did they believe it already? her breathing rapidly becomes shallow and panicked, and she doesn’t even notice being lifted from the floor and being placed on jane’s lap until jane wraps her arms around her, rubbing a gentle hand against her back and trying to soothe her with soft words. katherine’s head falls sideways against jane’s shoulder and she can’t even stop the tears that stream down her face.

"what a load of bullshit," cleves hisses. "i don't know what books he was reading, but he couldn't have been more wrong if he tried."

boleyn reaches over and pats katherine's shoulder awkwardly, parr lightly strokes her hair, and aragon starts swearing in spanish. jane continues her light ministrations across katherine's back.

katherine, however, feels too many hands on her, so full of panic and distrust that she can't help but try to escape. all she can think about is getting away from them, as supportive and lovely as they were, and doing it fast.

she throws her hands out.

the heel of her palm connects with something, and that something would turn out to be jane's nose.

katherine, had she been in her right mind, would have recognized immediately what had happened, seeing the blood beginning to drip from jane's nose, but instead, she simply jumps up and runs up to her room, slamming the door and locking it shut.

she curls up on the floor in the very corner of her room, knees drawn up to her chest as she rocks slightly. her breathing gets more and more erratic until she’s hyperventilating. those words from the documentary keep running through her mind. temptress, seductress, bewitching, part of her plan... that was what people saw when they looked at her story. the harlot who seduced the king and then committed adultery, that’s all she was to the public. they didn’t hear the screams of her nightmares, or see the figures looming above her, or feel the panic when any man approaches her.

she can see spots in front of her eyes and feels her nails dig into her shins and that tightness in her chest as her breathing keeps getting quicker and quicker until it stops altogether.

katherine's body unfurls as she passes out, her back landing solid against the wall with a loud thump, the last thing on her mind is an executioner's blade before it all goes blank.

[charlottehopesource]

Showrunners Emma Frost and Matthew Graham explore the early life of Catherine of Aragon, Henry VIII’s first wife, in historical drama The Spanish Princess. They reveal how the future queen caused a stir in Tudor England and the drama’s parallels with Breaking Bad.

Hot on the heels of The White Queen and The White Princess, US premium cable network Starz is continuing its dynastic saga of Tudor England with eight-part drama The Spanish Princess.

Like both of its predecessors, this new series recalls history from the perspective of its female characters and is based on historical novels by author Philippa Gregory, this time The Constant Princess and The King’s Curse. But while the story ostensibly focuses on Catherine of Aragon’s arrival from Spain with dreams of becoming queen – an ambition she achieved by marrying the future Henry VIII – it stands apart from previous instalments through its perspective of an outsider causing a stir in the Royal Court, themes of immigration and its focus on people of colour living in 16th century London.

Under the leadership of co-showrunners Emma Frost and Matthew Graham, the series will reveal how Catherine left a Spain ruled by her fearsome mother, Isabella of Castile, and came to England, where she experienced a huge culture shock in a land that was comparatively old fashioned and male dominated.

“She really causes gigantic ripples in this old-fashioned, rather fusty male Tudor world,” Frost explains. “As history goes on to tell us, her daughter Mary [with Henry VIII] becomes the first queen in her own right, Mary I.”

But there’s another reason that Frost and Graham believe The Spanish Princess promises to be the most exciting chapter yet. Beginning their research during production of The White Princess, they were keen to understand the place of people of colour in 16th century London. Historical advisers suggested diverse characters would have been an anachronism for the period, which Frost admits “really pissed me off,” as she already knew that wasn’t true.

“What we discovered without breaking too much of a sweat is that Catherine of Aragon came to England with an incredibly diverse entourage of people, notably including an African Iberian lady-in-waiting called Catalina de Cardones, who we call Lina in the show,” reveals Frost, who was also the showrunner of The White Queen and The White Princess.

“This woman exists as a footnote in history but no one has ever bothered to dramatise her or acknowledge she was there. What we know is Lina married another African in London, Oviedo, and it was very unusual in this period for people of colour to marry each other. So this is a really extraordinary story of these two African people in early Tudor England marrying each other and being very much part of the world of the court. So there is a whole new massive piece of this story that is reappropriating history for people of colour as well as for women by telling this story of these two people who really did exist.”

Graham says The Spanish Princess also looks at issues of class and social mobility in a way the previous versions weren’t able to. “The White Queen and The White Princess were both very much about the Yorks and Lancasters and all of it was at that level. Now we can tell stories that take place in the taverns, the streets and the way their love story unfolds,” he says. “The other thing you get a chance to do is tell what could not be a more pertinent story about immigration. There was cultural wariness of people who came from a different country. Frankly, though, in Tudor London you were wary of people who came from Wales. It wasn’t the colour of the skin that was the issue, so that’s quite nice – here we are with two black people in the middle of Tudor England and we don’t tell a story about racism.”

Like The White Queen and The White Princess, every scene in The Spanish Princess is from one of the leading female characters’ points of view, with Catherine and Lina joined as the main protagonists by another Iberian lady-in-waiting, Rosa, and Maggie Pole, who also featured in The White Princess. Meanwhile, Margaret Beaufort, the mother of Henry VII, is still very much a key player and antagonist-in-chief, Frost says. “There are various very strong conflicting female points of view that interweave or fall in behind Catherine. She’s the main character but we always have these other incredible strong women in the show.”

Frost argues Catherine is much maligned by history, overshadowed by Henry VIII’s later wives, particularly those who lost their heads in the process. “She’s characterised as this unwanted old bag, but it’s a phenomenal story that’s very pertinent to the 21st century,” she adds.

Catherine’s arrival from Spain is used to great visual effect in the series, contrasting the bright sunshine and rich colours of her homeland against the dark, gloominess of England – a place of shadows and people whispering in corridors.

“She’s a breath of fresh air but she’s also not to be trusted. She brings her own culture,” Graham says of Catherine. Frost notes that the character’s arrival in the country allows the show to observe Tudor England from an outsider’s perspective, something not possible in the previous iterations.

“That’s a really exciting point of view shift because now the Tudor world is the ‘other’ to the world of our heroine,” she says. “That allows for all sorts of other conflicts. There’s also an incredibly exciting theme running through the show about faith, because the Inquisition is beginning in Spain under Isabella, Catherine’s mother, and several of her entourage are Muslim, so they have to deal with their feelings about what’s happening in Spain and what Catherine’s real allegiances are. There is a world where the Catholic faith is no longer the only gig in town for a lot of characters who have always peopled the show. So we’re able to explore lots of thorny issues around conflicting ideas about faith, God, forgiveness and redemption.”

Leading the drama as Catherine is Charlotte Hope (pictured top), who was cast following an international search across Europe and North America. Frost and Graham were looking for someone who could embody the strength and vulnerability of the princess. That Hope (Game of Thrones) looks eerily like Catherine was a bonus.

“Charlotte just looks like her,” says Frost. “She has this strength, this fragility, and she’s just grown into the role. It was very hard casting a lead because there are so many factors to consider, but she is the most talented, hard-working, wonderful actress. We just love her.”

Rory O’Connor plays Henry, with Stephanie Levi-John as Lina de Cardonnes, Aaron Cobham as Oviedo, Nadia Parks as Rosa, Harriet Walter as Margaret Beaufort and Laura Carmichael (Downton Abbey) as Maggie Pole.

Graham was watching from the sidelines while his real-life partner Frost ran The White Princess, living and breathing Tudor England through her work. So when she suggested they do the next one together, he jumped at the opportunity to work alongside her and share the endless responsibilities of a showrunner – a role they had both previously performed separately. They say every TV show they both work on in future, they will do together.

Frost also welcomed the introduction of a male viewpoint behind the scenes. “Even though the show is told from the point of view of women, the male characters really matter, and trying to write a young Henry VIII – a complex, mercurial, intelligent, likeable, flawed and dangerous man – it’s been fantastic to have Matthew’s voice coming into that as well.

“Every single TV show we are working on now we do together, so we’re showrunning everything we do in TV. We break the stories together, we write the pilot together and then, moving forward, we write episodes separately and give each other notes. Then Matthew’s brilliant at all the bits in production that I’m hopeless at.”

Behind the camera, Birgitte Stærmose (Norskov) directs the first two episodes and Maya Zamodia is the DOP. Graham also got to try his hand at directing, picking up some battle sequences and palace-set scenes in Spain. Production designer Will Hughes-Jones (The Alienist) and costume designer Phoebe de Gaye (Killing Eve) return from The White Princess. Composer Samuel Sim is adding the music to the production, which Graham says won’t feel like “your grandmother’s period drama.”

“It’s got to have a buoyancy and momentum to it that feels fresh and cinematic and youthful,” he adds. “That’s one of the big things in production we’ve gone for.”

Frost picks up: “It’s a tremendously ambitious show. For the budget, what we’ve achieved is extraordinary. We’ve all had to be really inventive about how we cut our cloth and how we make the show.”

Distributed internationally by Lionsgate, the series is produced by New Pictures and Playground and is due to debut early next year. Frost and Graham, however, are already working on a second season of The Spanish Princess, which will continue the story of Catherine of Aragon – one Frost likens to Walter White’s journey from idealism into darkness in Breaking Bad.

“This doesn’t have the same darkness but it does arguably have more tragedy. Ultimately, it’s the story about the lie,” she adds, referring to Catherine’s claim that her marriage to Prince Arthur was not consummated before his death, thus leaving her free to wed Henry and become queen.

“Our whole exploration really is an exploration of that decision she makes and whether she’s lying or telling the truth and the consequences of those actions. It’s a really strong female story of a woman trying to define her place in the world. It’s very familiar [to modern audiences] in that regard.”