#call me a heartless bitch ig but at this point i think ive really stopped caring
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visiting my mother. idk what i expected lol
#everyone is fucking dying from cancer now#(except for the one who should be lol my grandma's cancer is benign turns out.#worst person ever award goes to me as always but if someone should die it should be her. there. i said it.#they never should have tried to save her from that stroke)#anyway it's unfair af and my mom doesn't deserve this but again. im the worst person ever but i cant fucking deal with this#i cannot be someone's emotional support. least of all hers. when im in this mental state myself.#obv i should never ever have children. but if i do. id rather fucking kms than cry in front of them. never ever ever ever.#call me a heartless bitch ig but at this point i think ive really stopped caring#i wish this wasnt happening to us i wish i were never born or at the very least i wish i had any siblings#with whom i could share the responsibility. but i dont. im fucking alone man. completely and utterly alone in this.#its all on me and im not up to the task and i hate that its asked of me in the first place.#spoiled ungrateful little brat alert but i just cant. cant bring myself to do this cant bring myself to truly care i genuinely feel nothing#i cant bring myself to stop being selfish in this. who tf knows maybe i do have npd it would explain a lot lol
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