#call & put

[time-to-leave-machine]

people will say "why cant the eldritch gods just be nice to humans :((" and then kill a bug for existing near them

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I love you Safety Wizard.

(Inspired by @keroascrazy)

[halebop-s-art]

The diagram for the classic Origami Goat, with a twist to make its horns curve ! It's from this video by by Origami Word, but it seems to be a pretty old/intemporal design that a lot of people have made. I could not find a diagram online so I made one.

(If you make her in yellow/orangy-yellow, then decorate her with red ribbons, you can make your own origami gävlebocken ! )

[annalyticall]

My new favorite excuse for not jumping on new trends or bandwagons is 'I'm 30.' No more explanation needed because anyone under 30 just thinks I'm old and everyone over 30 understands implicitly

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[jacqcrisis]

Put salt in your baked goods. Put salt in your desserts. Just do it. Please. Salt isn't just for savory, it's literally a flavor enhancer so even a pinch can take a meh recipe to one people can't stop eating. Listen to me. Your cookies and cheesecake bars are bland and uninteresting. I'm taking your hand. I'm guiding you with a gentle touch to the back. We can do this together. Trust me.

[1-800-dreamgirl]

this is what everyone has been saying!! no one is looking at celebrities for political statements, but they should and must use their platform to amplify the voices of those who need and most importantly be against this genocide!!

[aldecaver]

Transformers One movie novelization is a fever dream

[thesaltyace]

Y'all I did NOT know this about Harris, and I think it's really critical that we all listen and understand as we approach this election. Video at the end.

This creator's video describes how progressive Harris was as a prosecutor -- actively going against the grain to the point she was accused of being soft on crime. Accused of being a social worker, not a prosecutor. She calls it being smart on crime. She's pushing for systemic changes to give real pathways to reintegrate incarcerated folks back into society and prevent their past from continuing to haunt them moving forward.

"Kamala's a cop" is a catchy dismissive response usually used to shut down conversation rather than add nuance. But this kind of reform is ESSENTIAL to work towards a present and future that treats incarcerated people with value.

I fell for it in 2020 and have thought "Kamala's a cop" without further inspection since - and I'm sobered by the realization that (you guessed it!) I'm not immune to propaganda.

A better system only follows liberal democracy, because library democracy allows for exploration of better systems. If authoritarianism takes hold, it will not allow for the exploration of better systems. We will have to fight tooth and nail just to try to get back to liberal democracy, and I suspect we could not achieve it in our lifetimes.

Harris isn't perfect. But she's a hell of a lot better than many leftists have led me to believe. Don't let perfection be the enemy of good. Don't let perfection be the enemy of harm reduction.

We can either help elect Trump and usher in authoritarian fascism, or we can help defeat him and pull things back in the direction we want to go. Not liking the choices doesn't absolve you from participating and doing the most good you can with the options available.

I'll link the original video in the replies. The original video has captions if you need them.

[shanklin]

Sentient Mystery Shack, who is really biased towards Stan, so when Ford tells Stan he has to give it back after the summer it’s on sight.

Ford keeps tripping over nothing, nothing is where it's supposed to be and somehow he keeps running into closets when he tries to go outside.

But the worst part, the WORST part is that Ford's lightbulb just won't. Work. No matter what he does it keeps flickering and exploding.

Ford is spiraling. 

There is no reason why it shoudln’t work. All his trial runs work perfectly. He’s already checked the Shacks wiring three times and relearned this dimensions science from the ground up. 

Nothing works.

The Rift? Bill? The impending apocalypse? Eating? Sleep? Who cares about that. 

WHY. WONT. THE. LIGHTBULB. WORK???

It doesn’t help that Stan keeps laughing at him.

“Then you do it!” Ford eventually snaps at Stan.

Stan shrugs and with a little song under his breath screws his own lightbulb in. It works perfectly.

Stanford screams.

[squircatlies]

Get his ass, Gertrude.

[mooreaux]

Love Undying

[gongyussy]

liberté, egalité, fraternité et yaoi

[blahlahblash]

They overreacted a bit. Just a wee bit.

Part 2

[machveil]

Roommate!Simon Riley that looks at you and his heart squeezes, beats against his chest until it nearly hurts. something about seeing you in the morning makes something click in his brain - your hair messy and a little matted, soft pillow lines on your cheek, eyes half lidded and groggy. it makes him feel off, a sensation that makes his jaw clench. he wants to nip and bite at you, squeeze you, hold you tight and never let go. he’s not familiar with cuteness aggression, hasn’t heard of it and is unfortunately unaware

Roommate!Simon Riley that thinks something is wrong. he likes you so damn much, why does he want to nearly maul you every time he sees you? it gets him worked up when he sees you lounging on the couch in ratty clothes, an old pair of shorts and a stained hoodie. cute. his teeth are itching to just bite at you, fingers twitchy with the need to paw at you. that’s not normal, right? isn’t he supposed to see you and want to hold you gently? act soft and mushy like a normal coupl—? well, you aren’t a couple. he doesn’t know where this is coming from, but he only has one way to work it off

Roommate!Simon Riley that’s been nailing the same punching bag for over an hour. his knuckles are numb at this point, sore and starting to get bruised, but, damnit, he’s still thinking about you. the other gym members are silently avoiding him, eyeing him as he takes another swing at the bag. you looked so adorable eating breakfast, dropping your fork and grumbling— another punch. you looked so charming when you realized you put your left shoe on your right foot— another swing. another connection of his fist to the bag sends it flying, and Simon still wants to smother you lovingly

Roommate!Simon Riley that comes home sweaty and out of breath. he took a shower at the gym, but he decided to run home - took the long way. he hears you laughing, delighted little giggles spilling from your lips. he walks up behind you, looks down at your phone and hums, “What’s tha’?”, he asks. “Aah— it’s a baby hippo! Isn’t she cute? I just want to squeeze her so hard.”, you coo, swiping to another video. squeeze her? “Really? Why’s that?”, he asked, attention drifting towards you. “I dunno, sometimes you just see something cute and want to crush it a little, you know?

Roommate!Simon Riley that does know, and suddenly he feels a little less weird about wanting to squeeze you until you pop, “Yeah, I get it.”

[plutonicbees]

secret calls in the phone/sewing/cat room (chapter 4 of bllb u will always be famous to me)